CDCSMITH2013's SparkPeople Blog CDCSMITH2013's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Something's gotta give I set rather high standards for myself and I tend to be very unforgiving if I don't achieve them. I think I'm ready to admit that I may just have too much on my plate and that means deciding to either let something go or maybe lower my expectations. No matter how logical, it still feels like giving up. <BR> <BR> Taking a class while working full time, raising a family and doing the "stuff" that entails on top of trying to work on a re-write/research, getting in exercise, reading (it's an... Tue, 19 May 2015 05:57:16 EST A short blog about books My husband thinks I am addicted to books. I'm not. I could stop collecting and reading them at any time (perhaps not until after my vision and ability to hear was taken away and maybe not even then). <BR> <BR> I have 8 books in progress at the moment. Eight. It's not all my fault though. See, there is this place that lets me "shop" for books (library). They're free. All I have to do is go to the website, log on, and tell them what books I want to read. They send me an email when they ... Wed, 13 May 2015 05:54:04 EST Rainbow Narwhals - a tribe of many colors My 9 year old has this thing for "Rainbow Narwhals". I don't have any idea where the concept came from. He thinks it might be his own. He thinks it was a response to unicorns and rainbows. He likes narwhals and why shouldn't they have rainbows too? <BR> <BR> So whenever he has the chance to use the name for a team, he does. His basketball team this past winter for example. All through the season, the boys called themselves Rainbow Narwhals. That is until the championship game and th... Fri, 8 May 2015 10:22:14 EST Why I haven't been blogging much (all excuses) To say I’ve been lax with blogging would be a tiny bit of an understatement. I’ve had a few things going that have impacted setting time aside to write much about what is going on in my life. Truth be told, when things are going spectacularly well, there is plenty of incentive to blog. It feels good telling people about progress in whatever way it happens to have manifested. When things are going less than stellar it’s easier because of the need for support. When things are just pl... Tue, 5 May 2015 12:42:40 EST A different sort of challenge for me There was an article about self talk and how when we start life style change, we're all gung-ho, but after a while, we start talking to ourselves, putting us down because we slip or lose our enthusiasm. <BR> <BR> My situation is a bit different. I've been maintaining for a while now. But I am not very nice to myself. I am downright evil. Out loud, I must call myself, "idiot!" dozens of times. The internal dialogues aren't fit to print. Not quite sure how I'm going to solve this problem... Tue, 31 Mar 2015 18:51:56 EST Not much of a blog I took a photos of myself today. The swelling is almost completely gone now so this is pretty accurate to the "end result" the surgeon was expecting. I guess it takes some people as long as a year, so I was ahead of the curve. He said I still may see some minor changes in the coming months, but nothing major. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I signed up for an online class that is work, but I am learning. I have trouble engaging in ... Thu, 26 Mar 2015 12:31:54 EST A couple of things occured to me today Three. Three things occurred to me today. <BR> <BR> 1) I survived my first day back at the gym. Not quite at the level I left at, but I'll get there. I'd thought about adding 2 more days a week to the gym. I might eventually, but not this week. Nope. Not gonna do it. <BR> <BR> 2) I don't have any photos of myself that actually show my face since the swelling is down to almost nothing. I should probably do something about that. <BR> <BR> 3) People have been amazingly supportive and... Mon, 23 Mar 2015 20:01:20 EST What's that word I'm looking for? Insane? I know I'm starting to feel better now. I can tell because I'm restless. My mother has episodes of restlessness. They were more intense when she was younger. It's physical for her. She has to escape. She would drive to Provincetown (the very end of Cape Cod) which before route 495 was built would be a 2-1/2 hour drive. She would walk around on the beach for a couple of hours, drive home, and be fine. Sometimes she would drive to the area around Newport, RI and do the same. She needed... Sun, 22 Mar 2015 07:39:38 EST Getting back into a routine while procrastinating As of yesterday, I was cleared to start working out again. I've decided to hold off until next week to do so however. My old routine, the one I want to get back, I went to the gym before work on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I don't like starting "new" mid-week, but more importantly, I need to leave work early Friday to meet with the surgeon so to offset taking half a day out, I'll come in early the rest of the week. <BR> <BR> Instead, I will plan a routine once I get back to the gym. ... Wed, 18 Mar 2015 07:42:53 EST Things I need to remember (post-op) March 17th is the big day for restrictions being lifted. This is when I can start working out again, lifting, and trying food that requires more chewing effort - sandwiches, chicken, an attempt at steak. <BR> <BR> I ate some egg salad yesterday and I figure as long as I can use my tongue and roof of my mouth to make the pieces small enough to swallow without choking, I can attempt similar constancies in other foods, hence my attempt at fish and chips tonight. I may not be able to eat the o... Sat, 7 Mar 2015 07:31:23 EST March 1st - reflections on February February was a kind of big deal for me. We had one snow storm after another with no melting in between. Almost 100 inches of snow all told. I love the snow, but I was worried about it interfering with my scheduled jaw surgery (It didn't) and I wasn't allowed to shovel or play in it, so I could only enjoy it for the view. <BR> <BR> Surgery. The surgery finally took place on February 2nd. At some point, I should write out what the hospital process was like because post-op and ICU are inte... Sun, 1 Mar 2015 08:21:01 EST Wired shut for at least one more week. It's snowing again. There are leaks in the kitchen and bathroom downstairs. Ice dams on the roof line there. <BR> <BR> Visited with the surgeon who assisted my DR during surgery. My DR got called out of state for a family emergency. Short version of the visit: <BR> <BR> 1. Can't drive until the vision gets better. Vision issues can be from any number of things - anesthesia, swelling, blood loss, being thin. I was told the best thing to do is push water. At least 10 cups a day to ge... Wed, 11 Feb 2015 12:20:49 EST More snow pictures Well, we've gotten a bit more snow. No school for the kid today or tomorrow. More snow coming Thursday and Sunday. With highs in the teens, there won't be much melting. It's unbelievable how much snow there is. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Mon, 9 Feb 2015 19:44:32 EST Post-op stuff Let's start with the snow in the driveway. It's snowing again now and is supposed to go on for a few days, dropping another foot (or more) by Monday. There is no place to put more snow. <img src=""> <BR> <BR> My face is getting less swollen by the day, but it's still worse in the morning. This is sort of a day by day look. <BR> <img src=""> We'll call this day one. <BR> <BR> <im... Sat, 7 Feb 2015 12:33:13 EST Super Bowl Sunday ~ Last day before surgery (and perhaps another snow storm) This is a quick one today. For those not following my "saga", I am having jaw surgery tomorrow. I've known I've needed this for a while (I've needed the surgery longer than I have not needed it - I was 19 when I found out my jaw wasn't aligned properly and I'll be 46 this month). <BR> <BR> At 19, unless there is something you have to deal with, you tend to put things off. I waited to do something about my jaw until my teeth started to fall apart. I was told I'd needed braces for 9-12 mon... Sun, 1 Feb 2015 14:33:47 EST Photos of what I'm stocking up on for post-op I won't show pictures of the liquid diet items, but I'll give you an inventory none the less. One of my problems is food allergies, particularly to corn, so all Ensure products are off the table so to speak. I've managed to get 18 protein drinks, lots of fruit and veggie drinks, chicken broth, and beef broth. <BR> <BR> Now for the fun stuff. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Ripper Street. I don't watch a lot of television, but I... Sun, 4 Jan 2015 18:39:58 EST Trying to organize before surgery Next month is FINALLY the surgery on my jaw. I'll be out of work for 3 weeks. For some period of time, I won't be allowed to drive. I'm also the one who does all the bill paying and grocery shopping so I need to plan things out. <BR> <BR> First is gaining weight which is just so foreign to me after losing and maintaining, but that is what I need to do. As of today, I'm at 125. The DR would like to see me at something more like 135 since the potential to drop 10% of my weight is very rea... Fri, 2 Jan 2015 12:51:35 EST Things could be worse doesn't mean things don't suck This is entirely a 1st world vent with attempts to off-set it. Yes, things could be so much worse, but that doesn't mean life is all happy and good. <BR> <BR> My middle son is smart and talented and lazy. My side of the family has struggled with depression for generations. I've dealt with it myself. There is a balance to be walked. This may or may not factor into my middle son (aka - the boy) and his current school issues. I'm inclined to believe not, but I can't very well say it isn... Mon, 29 Dec 2014 06:50:32 EST How this Pagan does Advent When I attended the Unitarian-Universalist church, there was a giving tree for advent. I liked the idea then and I still try to follow it. Back then they told us what to bring, so week 1 might have been gloves, hats, mittens, week 2 might have been toothpaste, floss, and tooth brushes, etc. <BR> <BR> The kid and I decided to do a 50-50 split between animals and people. We donated a bag of cat food to the cat shelter. While we were there the kid played with Tigger (who is absolutely lovea... Mon, 15 Dec 2014 20:00:45 EST December with a semi-fresh start This is not my usual fresh start when I've lost focus of my goals, though it does have some of that too. <BR> <BR> This month, I have a few different kinds of goals and I thought it would be best to get it all down on er, um, electronic paper. <BR> <BR> Writing. I want to do a re-write of my Halloween story, but I have an awful lot of research to do. I can be a research junkie, but I was feeling a tad overwhelmed with my list, but after talking with my mom, I think I have a visual organ... Mon, 1 Dec 2014 19:10:03 EST A Very short Happy Thanksgiving blog <img src=""> <BR> <BR> My 9 year old started a comic book series. This was his Thanksgiving greeting to his fan base. <BR> <BR> Thu, 27 Nov 2014 07:09:03 EST The best parts of yesterday with many photos Yesterday was the first day without the neighbors. The last day with them went about as smoothly as it could've really. The kid held it together until we went home and the family headed to the airport. <BR> <BR> This first shot is the photo of the kids. Johnny, Dylan in the middle, and Anna. I couldn't get them to be serious, so this is the last photo of the 3 of them. It's somehow fitting. <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Yesterday was... Wed, 5 Nov 2014 19:39:57 EST Tomorrow will be a sad day Roughly 3 years ago, our neighbors moved in. They fit rather well with the core group. The N family has 3 kids, the oldest son is the same age as the daughter in the O family. The son in the O family is in the same grade as the younger boy in the N family and my kid. <BR> <BR> The O family is moving from our corner of the world (Massachusetts) to Arizona tomorrow. The last month has been a mad dash to get the kids involved in making memories. They marched in the town Halloween parade,... Sun, 2 Nov 2014 14:52:00 EST Halloween around my house - a blog of photos <img src=""> <BR> <BR> This was me at work. The other witch is actually from our sister company. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> The kid doing homework with his newest friend. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> The kid and me before trick-or-treating begins <BR> <BR> <img src=" Sat, 1 Nov 2014 12:09:59 EST A weekend update, zombies, parties, and parades, oh my! This Saturday was a true test of the limits to my sanity. The zombie 5K. Just a reminder... I LOATHE running and I'm scared to death of zombies. It also was the same day as the annual family Halloween party. I still have no idea of why I did it, but I can assure you it will NEVER happen again. My new policy for 5K running is that there needs to be Guinness at the end and men in kilts cheering me on while I'm running. The race wasn't chip timed. The race clock was set to the starting ho... Tue, 28 Oct 2014 07:33:36 EST Quick update and photos from New Hampshire First, Spot the tick. The nurse said it was a female dog tick and another group said a female black legged deer tick - probably. Either way, the meds should eradicate anything either one might have passed along. Those antibiotics have wreaked havoc on my digestive system though. Should have gotten some probiotics. In any case, it looks fine. <BR> <BR> On a better note, we went camping in Hew Hampshire this past long weekend. Now I'm going to flood this blog with assorted photos. We to... Wed, 15 Oct 2014 08:44:12 EST The email I sent at work To preface, I have an immediate supervisor, a boss (boss of both of us, but I used to answer directly to him, so I always still keep him in the loop), my payroll person (who is also a work friend), and a co-worker who is friends with my dad and I just like to let him know stuff. And now the email, subject line: In an effort to keep you all amused <BR> <BR> Long version: I’d like to introduce you all to Spot, as in “Out damn spot,” words spoken so well by Lady Macbeth. Spot is a tick, you’... Wed, 8 Oct 2014 08:07:18 EST Sunday was all about taking a mental health day The weather for Sunday was unseasonably warm. The high temps were in the mid-July range. My husband mentioned we could drive down the Cape (Cape Cod) and go to one of the National Seashore beaches. <BR> <BR> Now I love the beach. I'm a little weird in that I prefer going on overcast days that are chilly. The perfect beach attire for those days would be jeans rolled up a bit for walking in the water and a sweater. But I'll take the beach on a traditional "beach day" too. Beggars can't... Mon, 29 Sep 2014 20:59:38 EST Check list for my 5k's Not so much a check list. I'm just trying to gage where I've timed in the 3 5k's I've run so I can make a realistic goal for the zombie run next month. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> The first one ever, was post injury and honestly, I am very proud of my time on that one. It also happens to be the best one to date. 37:14. I was the 95th female and the 167th overall. <BR> <BR> I don't have a photo of me for the 2nd 5k, but it was... Fri, 26 Sep 2014 16:34:00 EST What a difference in my mood The issue with the orthodontist/surgeon was more of a weight on my mood that I think I realized. I knew I was incredibly frustrated, but I didn't see how much that frustration pulled me down until some of it lifted. <BR> <BR> Quick background for those unfamiliar - I've needed jaw surgery for a while and I have all sorts of reasons or excuses why (at one point I didn't have insurance and that really is a valid reason, the rest are really excuses because I'm terrified about the prospect of s... Thu, 25 Sep 2014 09:45:30 EST Hearts and Hands Walk for Autism This past Saturday, the kid and I did a walk-a-thon for a local group called Community Autism Resources. It was the 11th annual Hearts and Hands Walk for Autism. It's a great agency that does all sorts of things to help families with someone in the Autism spectrum. I mean, truly a family program. They have events for grandparents, siblings, of course the parents and the children who have autism as well. They have lending libraries, family friendly events, advocates, help when dealing wit... Sun, 21 Sep 2014 20:25:19 EST Life is good It has been a good, oddly calm feeling weekend for the most part, which I really needed. Work really has sucked of late. Short version is there have been a lot of things that are , if not illegal, certainly immoral. Nothing like putting people at risk for dying or anything grand like that, but things that a normal company, the HR department would've cracked down on someone for, so Fridays take on a new level of relief. <BR> <BR> Saturday, the city my husband and I work in, had a celebrati... Sun, 7 Sep 2014 15:16:22 EST The surgery sage... Before I agreed to this fixing of my jaw (my jaw is longer on one side than the other and because of that, my teeth don't match as they should and I've started to do "catastrophic" damage merely in the act of eating), I was told 9-12 months in braces, surgery and recovery, another 9-12 months in braces. I've had the braces now for 17 months. No changes in the orthodontic works since the end of March when the orthodontist felt I was ready for surgery. The surgeon, when I met with him, disag... Thu, 21 Aug 2014 16:50:42 EST Body images and teachable moments I won't lie. For whatever reason, probably multiple, I have a lousy self image of my appearance. I don't ever remember feeling good about how I looked for days at a time. I was picked on in school for being fat, ugly, weird. I coped by embracing my weird and maybe even exaggerating it. I figured I couldn't do anything about ugly. Ah, but my weight... now there is something I could control. I've been overweight as an adult, but never as a kid. If anything, I was probably skinny. After... Wed, 20 Aug 2014 07:10:50 EST Not so much a blog This was my ALS ice bucket challenge that my friend nominated me to do. The kid wanted to be nominated as did my mother. My 3rd nomination went to Graham Norton of The Graham Norton Show (BBC). I'm sure he will never see it, and even if he did, I certainly wouldn't expect him to accept, but it would be rather cool if he did. Mon, 18 Aug 2014 19:32:04 EST Catching up part one - vacation I looked at the last time I blogged and I am a bit embarrassed to say it's been a while. It's been busy. So what has been going on in the last couple of months? <BR> <BR> VACATION!!! Oh how I needed it this year and I was literally counting down the hours towards the end of it. It was an exceptionally great one too. We spent 10 days in more or less my old stomping grounds of Cape Cod, MA and it was, for the mot part, wonderful. The kid got to kayak for the first time. <img src="http:/... Sun, 17 Aug 2014 17:41:03 EST Something of a surgury update Something in that I went to the surgeon today thinking I'd be going over the surgical stuff (post and pre-op) so I brought my husband since I knew I wouldn't be able to retain any of it and he'd be the one dealing with the post-op rules. <BR> <BR> Turns out he would like more orthodontics first. It's close. Really close. But if he did it now, it would be much more involved. So we wait. He and the orthodontist will be sitting down one on one to discuss what is next but it is starting to ... Fri, 13 Jun 2014 17:47:39 EST Things that have nothing to do with eating or exercise 1) The kid was eliminated from the baseball playoffs. First team to be eliminated. Good news is that means no more baseball for me for a while (I find it very stressful). On a good note, he has the art show tonight (not competitive - any elementary school aged kid in town could enter). <BR> <BR> 2) A book I've wanted for YEARS arrived today. I'm torn between wanting to hide out and read it without stopping and trying to savor it reading it slowly. It is officially not released until tom... Mon, 9 Jun 2014 17:34:41 EST The kid quits running and I quit eating Well the kid's enthusiasm for running has ended. All he wants to run now is the same event we ran this past weekend. Mostly because of the post race stuff. I'm actually good with this. I see so many kids pushing themselves (or worse, being pushed by adults) to do things that are too tough on their little bodies. There were so many kids when I was at PT last year (prime after school time appointments) and almost all of these kids were there because of sports injuries. So I'm actually goo... Tue, 3 Jun 2014 18:50:38 EST The kid's first 5K The kid trash talked for most of the week leading up to the 5K on Saturday. He felt sure he was going to run the entire 5K while I was only going to "run" the 5K. Well, I haven't really trained for this one. I was pretty much planning on walking it. I've tried multiple times to do the C25K training, but every time I end up with my knees feeling less than stellar, so I've stopped and semi-throw in the towel. I HATE running, but the control freak in me is having a hard time letting go of t... Mon, 2 Jun 2014 10:23:44 EST Another 5K on the agenda I'm fiercely (and secretively) competitive. My company started a "Wellness" team. This would be right up my alley, but to be honest, the team is waaaaay too big for the size of my company and for the most part, aside from the HR people that sort of have to be a part of it, I don't much care for the rest of the team. They joined for the wrong reasons in most cases. They're in it for the show and I have no tolerance for that. <BR> <BR> With this in mind, I signed up for a company promoted ... Wed, 21 May 2014 09:09:23 EST Well that changes everything This jaw surgery that has been looming in my future has been one royal pain after another. Originally, the treatment plan was braces for 9-12 months, followed by surgery, followed by another 9-12 months of braces. My teeth weren't so willing to migrate, so instead of 9-12 months, we are at 14 and counting. However, we are close enough that there was no adjustment made at my last appointment. <BR> <BR> Impressions were made, photos take of my face much like when someone is being booked aft... Tue, 20 May 2014 13:33:53 EST A look back and a peek ahead I saw some new goodies on my Spark page this morning. I was being congratulated on my 1st anniversary of being in maintenance mode. Cool. I knew it was coming, but it sort of snuck up on me. Yay me. I've tended to run more in a seasonal cycle of weight loss/weight gain, so being able to stay in my range the entire year, has been a new experience. The year hasn't been the easiest so maybe that makes it more significant to me. <BR> <BR> Looking ahead, next week I head back to the ortho... Mon, 12 May 2014 10:42:20 EST Wet and chilly day, but it went well I've been and will probably continue to be out of sorts for a few more days. That said, today was the walk-a-thon that I got a team together for. The Cobb Street Quad. There are 4 families that get along reasonably well and we walked together for School on Wheels. It's a program for homeless kids doing everything from tutoring and mentoring, to supplying backpacks and supplies. <BR> <BR> The weather forecast was the first hurdle. I thought for sure we would have drop outs. But I am p... Sat, 26 Apr 2014 13:23:27 EST Really need to update my blog more I believe my goal was 3x/week. Now I'm lucky if I manage one a week. <BR> <BR> I've been very busy, but not with things worthy of sharing for the most part. Baseball season is back so that means practices and games that are at least 90 minutes long. Having 3 or 4 of those in a week makes everything else that needs doing, a tight squeeze. <BR> <BR> I noticed I was at week 47 of maintenance this week. Kind of cool. I'm on the high end of the range, but this is semi on purpose. I need ... Thu, 17 Apr 2014 12:39:27 EST Random updates from the week thus far So far, the word on my father in law is that he did NOT have a stroke. I'm going with this being good news since I've had two grandparents who had them - one resulting in death within a couple of days, the other went on to live for years with additional "mini-strokes" and varying degrees of recovery, none of which were anything close to full. However, the 2 doctors on his case seem to have very different opinions on things. Hopefully we will kow more today. My husband though, is having so... Thu, 10 Apr 2014 07:09:57 EST The transitions Change can be good or bad. It is inevitable. The only thing that stays the same is change? Might be misquoting that. <BR> <BR> My husband is at the hospital with his dad. Not sure what the issue is exactly, but my husband, who is not prone to being overly dramatic, says he isn't good. My husband is in his late 50's so his parents aren't exactly young. <BR> <BR> I'm not even sure what it is I'm saying really other than our family being in the midsts of transitions. Kids becoming adu... Wed, 9 Apr 2014 14:02:21 EST The bandwagon I don't have a lot of excess income. In fact, there have been more occasions than I care to recount that groceries were done on a charge card out of necessity. This means I can't throw a lot of money out to causes I believe are important, so I have to go about other ways of helping. For me, doing walk-a-thons work well. I have 2 standards - one for a local agency that helps people and families impacted by Autism (a cause near and dear to me because of my oldest) and food allergies (also n... Wed, 2 Apr 2014 08:54:54 EST The boy is famous! Okay, that is a smidge of an exaggeration. You have to understand that this was a rather shy kid. He had friends and actually made them easily, but it was work for him. So when he signed up for drama club in high school, initially only to play a bit part (guitar player), it was a shock when he ended up playing 3 roles. In the senior class play, he was the male lead. And not, in college, he's on a poster. My husband, the kid, and I will be heading out to see him Saturday in this play. <i... Mon, 31 Mar 2014 15:50:40 EST If it isn't one thing, it's another Things could be worse. They really could, so I'll try to stay as upbeat as I can. I'll also try to stay as on track as I can. <BR> <BR> Our heating system died. It's the furnace. It's the end of March and it's been a cold one at that. However, it is the end of March. This would have been worse to contend with 3 or 4 months ago. It's only going to get warmer (in a general sense) going forward, so we will deal with it. I think this is going to be an expensive fix though and I have othe... Fri, 28 Mar 2014 08:51:19 EST