CCINDICANE2's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=CCINDICANE2 CCINDICANE2's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Overeaters Anonymous? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5816492 So I was catching up on episodes of Mike and Molly that I had missed. I didn't come into the show until the second season and a channel was playing the shows first season from the beginning so I recorded them on DVR so I could catch up. <BR> <BR> After the watching the show, I came to 2 conclusions: <BR> <BR> 1) While the show is funny, they need to seriously stop with the fat jokes. They get old really fast, especially if you are watching a few shows back to back. The good news is that a... Fri, 14 Nov 2014 02:00:29 EST 3 Weeks In http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5814549 Every other time I have been active on here, I have posted a weekly blog. I didn't do it this time around, maybe because I wasn't sure if I would keep it up. But so far, I have been doing pretty good. I started sometime in September but it took a while to really get with it. But I really want to get back to my weekly blogs just to have a record of what happened, how I felt , etc. I keep thinking about the other times I have lost weight and comparing this time to those times. I have to litera... Mon, 10 Nov 2014 22:40:07 EST Just because you fell, doesn't mean you failed. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5814531 I've had a pretty bad past few days. Even ate over 3000 calories one day. But they were delicious calories. Lol I am not expecting a weight loss this week as that is OK. As long as I get back on track, that is all that matters. Every other time I have tried to lose weight, weight loss was my main focus. I even set up a reward system for losing weight. It worked and I lost a good amount of weight. This time around I have decided not to reward weight loss. Really, weight loss is its own rew... Mon, 10 Nov 2014 22:13:15 EST Back after a long absence http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5805336 On and off and on and off. That's how the past few years have been with Sparkpeople and weight loss. I can't say I am back for good, because I have said that before and it didn't always work out that way. So, I am here for now. <BR> <BR> I have been at the weight loss thing for a few weeks now. It's took a few weeks before that to even start tracking my food. My friend had this bright idea to start a new goal each week. My first goal was to budget my money, 2nd to eat less, 3rd to exercise, ... Sun, 26 Oct 2014 23:10:16 EST Starting Over....Again http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5632071 Start, stop, start, stop....over and over again. It is very repetitive. Usually when I post a "Starting Over" blog, I talk about what I have achieved in the past and what lead to my failure. I am not going to do that this time because you know what, I might fail again. It's a part of life. I was watching the Winter Olympics, especially the figure skating, I realized it doesn't matter how many times you fall, it's how many times you get back up again. I give major kudos to figure skaters becau... Mon, 24 Feb 2014 00:22:39 EST Feeling ashamed http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5391219 I am so ashamed of myself. I worked so hard to lose weight. It took me a year to lose 87 lbs and I still had over 100 to go. But then I fell into a depression and it just progressively got worse and I just stopped caring. So I proceeded to gain back the weight. I tried to get back on the wagon by joining another competition with friends, but if you don't deal with the depression, you aren't going to succeed and that is just what happened. I continued to gain the weight back. Now here I am, he... Sun, 16 Jun 2013 21:15:29 EST Needed a Reminder http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5168292 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/8/l1814012175.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I have gained so much weight. I just haven't been able to get back on the wagon. I weighed in this morning at 274.4 lbs. I am done. I am tired of gaining weight. I started a weight loss competition with friends and I am in the negative. I have until April 1st 2013 I get this gained weight off and get to where I want to be. I don't care if I lose the weight loss competition anymore. I just don't want to be above 23... Sun, 16 Dec 2012 17:40:59 EST Week 3 - Gained 1.4 lbs http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5123734 I did horrible this week. I only ate within my plan 1 day and that was last Sunday. I am determined to do better this week. Thankfully I am not the only person who did badly so I am still in second place. But I want to make up for the lack of weight loss this week. <BR> <BR> You know, it's funny. I am not a morning person, but every morning when I wake up, I think about exercising, but of course I won't because I don't wake up in time to have time to exercise. But I also can't bring myself t... Sun, 4 Nov 2012 15:21:35 EST Week 2 - Lost 4.2 lbs http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5115782 So I am down a total of 10 lbs since starting the competition with my friends. I am glad to be rid of those 10 lbs but still got another 17.6 lbs to lose to get back to where I was in July....231 lbs. I know I will make it. I just hate that I am re-losing all this weight that I never should have gained in the first place. I just want to kick myself. I gave myself 7 weeks to lose all the regained weight and to make that goal, I have to lose 3.52 lbs a week. After the water is gone, I just don'... Sun, 28 Oct 2012 16:28:06 EST Week 1 - Lost 5.8 lbs http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5108300 While the competition was originally between my friend Shayna and I, two others decided to join and instead of me participating in two different competitions, it's just going to be a bigger one. Same rules apply, only instead of having a chance to win $250, I can now win $750. Awesome! <BR> <BR> I have yet to exercise, but I have tracked everything I have eaten for the first week. That is progress. However, now that I have lost all the water weight in the amount of 5.8 lbs, it's time to get ... Mon, 22 Oct 2012 11:13:23 EST Beginning of second weight loss competition http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5098899 So today is day 1 of another weight loss competition my friend wanted to do. Couldn't come at a better time. I had pretty much lost all motivation and gained weight back. I don't really know exactly how much weight I gained back because I have been eating a lot of sodium and it's that time of the month. But my starting weight for this competition is 258.2. <BR> <BR> I have been in some serious denial about my weight gain. Then I started noticing my pants getting tighter and tighter and last... Sun, 14 Oct 2012 17:28:52 EST BLC Weekend Challenge #1 - 12 week plan http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5061784 As you can see, I have not been posting any blogs lately. I need to get back on it. Luckily for me, the first weekend challenge includes posting a blog. <BR> <BR> Quick note, I usually weigh in on Sundays and then post a blog to go with the weigh ins but for the BLC we weigh in on Wednesdays so I am switching to Wednesdays. My starting weight was 243 lbs. Yep, I gained. It's ok though. I will get the weight back off. It should be cooling off here soon so I can start exercising. But I really ... Sun, 16 Sep 2012 15:50:10 EST Joined the BLC20 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5029253 I decided to join the BLC20 because I need something to give me that extra push. When I first joined SP back in 2007, I had participated in the BLC and remember enjoying it. So when I saw a new one was starting, I jumped on it. I need a push to get me back on track to exercising and to help with willpower to stop blowing it at night with eating. <BR> <BR> I haven't been to the gym in over a month. I stopped going a week before my vacation and just haven't made it back. I have lot of excuses... Fri, 24 Aug 2012 11:49:23 EST Weight Loss Rewards (revisited) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5012276 I want this to my on the first page of my blogs as a reminder for myself, so I am just reposting my reward list. <BR> <BR> Right now, I have about 12 lbs to go to meet my next reward. I made some changes to the order of the rewards based on what I want most right now that will help push me forward. I hate my radio in my car because the volume button is totally screwy and when I want to turn the music up, it goes down and when I want to turn it down, it goes up. It has a mind of it's own and ... Sun, 12 Aug 2012 15:44:50 EST Week 59: Lost 3 lbs this week http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5012269 I don't know how I did it, but I stepped on the scale and showed 234.8 lbs. That means I lost 3 lbs this week and only have 2.8 lbs left to get back to my pre-vacation weight. I don't know how I did it. I mean, I did pretty good on my eating for 4 of the 7 days, but there was no exercise. Overall, I had a calorie deficit of 1555 calories. <BR> <BR> I am not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Instead, I am going to make the most of this week. I don't promise to exercise, simply because ... Sun, 12 Aug 2012 15:38:20 EST Struggling http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4987268 I am really struggling right now. I was supposed to get completely back on track this week, and I haven't. I do so good during the day with eating but then come home and pig out at dinner or on snacks. I haven't been to the gym in 3 weeks. Haven't gone running. I am losing it. <BR> <BR> I don't want to lose it. I want to get back on track and stay on track. I want to continue losing weight. I don't know what is going on. <BR> <BR> I think maybe I need to meditate. I read a lot of blogs and... Thu, 26 Jul 2012 02:05:40 EST Another Beginning http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4981897 I haven't tracked my food nor have I exercised in the past few weeks and I have gained 7.6 lbs but I have not given up. I did sabotage myself before my vacation because I knew I was going to totally blow it on my vacation. I still should have done well up until my vacation and gotten right back on track when I got back from vacation, but I didn't. <BR> <BR> However, today is a new day and it is a new week for me. Today is my weigh in day so I weighed in. 240 lbs even. That is a gain of 7.6 ... Sun, 22 Jul 2012 15:45:35 EST Long weekend on a cruise to Ensenada, Mexico http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4976293 We took a long weekend this past weekend and went on a cruise to Ensenada, Mexico. Let's just say, no I didn't track my food nor did I care what I ate or how much I ate. I am pretty sure I gained about 10-15 lbs but I haven't actually weighed in. Since my weigh in day is Sundays, I am waiting until this Sunday to weigh in. I did do a "let's just see what the number is" weigh in on Monday afternoon when we got back from the cruise and the number was not pretty. It was somewhere around 248 whic... Wed, 18 Jul 2012 14:24:21 EST Week 53 - I may have to go back to weekly weigh ins http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4951923 I am going to wait until July 29th before I weigh in again but if I don't do considerably better for July then I did for June (which really wouldn't be too hard), I am going to have to go back to weekly weigh ins. I was going to weigh in on July 1st but the decided I knew I blew it for the month of June so I might as well go with my weight on June 26th which was my 1 year weight. So for the month of June, I lost 1.4 lbs in total. That blows. <BR> <BR> But I choose to look at it positively. I... Mon, 2 Jul 2012 12:36:33 EST 1 YEAR ON SPARKPEOPLE (pics included) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4943194 I weighed in today at 231.6 lbs I have lost a total of 87 lbs since I began my journey again on June 26, 2011. I started out at 318.6. I would have loved to have lost 100 lbs even but I didn't make it there. I LOST 87 LBS! That is freaking awesome. I am still here. I plan to remain here and lose the rest of this weight no matter how slow it comes off. I didn't really know what I wanted to do for my 1 year mark but decided to do a picture blog. Most pictures are from before starting to lose we... Tue, 26 Jun 2012 12:53:00 EST Week 52 - Another try at running http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4940310 I am waiting until next Sunday to weigh in so I can't comment on my weight but according to the numbers, I should have lost at least a pound this week. I binged last night. I am sick and was in the mood for comfort food. But that was yesterday. Today is a new day. I will not binge today. In fact, everything that is left over from my binge yesterday will be thrown away so it is not tempting. Even though I am sick today, I think my chest feels OK for the most part so I am going to try running t... Sun, 24 Jun 2012 15:43:22 EST Week 51 - I need to get on the ball http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4930271 So I didn't weigh in again. I have two weeks before my actual weigh in. So I really don't know how I am doing other than looking at my numbers. If I go by my numbers, I maybe lost 2 lbs in the past two weeks. Time to get back on the ball. I have been slacking quite a bit. I keep telling myself that I will be happy with a 5 lb lost each month. Which I will be really. That would amount to getting to Onederland by New Years. That is pretty dang awesome. <BR> <BR> But why settle for 5 lbs a mont... Sun, 17 Jun 2012 15:37:22 EST Week 50 - Changing to weighing in once a month http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4923297 I did not weigh in today. I've been thinking about it lately and keep putting off switching to monthly weigh ins and decided, why put it off. Just start now. So I skipped weigh in. <BR> <BR> I will weigh in the first or last Sunday of each month. For July, that happens to fall on the 1st but for example, in August, I will weigh in on the 29th of July and then not again until the 2nd of September. I want it as close to the 1st of each month but don't want the actual day to bounce around. <BR>... Tue, 12 Jun 2012 12:43:27 EST I jogged for the first time tonight http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4915698 So I went to the gym tonight. I got on the elliptical to wait for my trainer to come get me. About 3 minutes in, the power goes out. The elliptical is still working so I continue on. About 4 minutes later, they say they have to evacuate the gym. So I go home. No cardio, no person training. <BR> <BR> I have been thinking for the past couple of nights about trying to jog. So since I couldn't get my workout in at the gym, I figured tonight would be a great time to try it. So I come home and ask... Thu, 7 Jun 2012 02:32:45 EST Week 49 - Total Weight Loss = 85.6 lbs http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4911551 I lost 1.6 lbs this week. Not too bad, but I was hoping for more sense I didn't lose any last week. Oh well. Still gotta keep truckin'. But I have to admit, I really didn't do great this week. I only went to the gym 2 days this week and I went over my goal of 1800 most of the week. Not too much over, but over still. So really, I am glad I lost any weight this week and all I can do is make this week better. <BR> Mon, 4 Jun 2012 12:44:18 EST Week 48 - What's the point in setting goals... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4900105 When your body has plans of it's own? <BR> <BR> I didn't lose any weight this week. I didn't gain either so that I good. But I actually did good this week and had a total calorie deficit of 8533 calories. I should have lost something. Hell, I would have even been happy with just a loss of 0.6 lbs to get me to my next reward weight. But nope. I am exactly the same this week as I was last week. <BR> <BR> It's not going to stop me. I am still going to keep truckin'. I am just a bit annoyed. <B... Sun, 27 May 2012 15:35:25 EST Week 47 - Total Weight Loss: 84 lbs http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4890479 So I lost all the weight I gained last week plus an additional 2.2 lbs. It's that time of the month and I didn't go to the gym very much last week. However, my eating remained below 2000 each day so that was good. <BR> <BR> Other than that, I have a slight complaint. I was at the beach today with a friend of mine and I was on my phone logging my food on the SP app. My friend made a comment about me and my diet. I told her, "it's not a diet, it's a lifestyle change. I am trying to change my ... Sun, 20 May 2012 23:38:44 EST Week 46 - And a Gain http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4879980 So I gained this week. It all started Tuesday. I began stress eating and it all just went down hill from there. <BR> <BR> A little back story: I had a pap smear in January which came back showing a mild abnormality. It took forever to get an appointment for the colposcopy which was on Wednesday. As the day got closer, the more nervous I became. So I started stress eating. Then at the appointment on Wednesday, I was told that I had mild AND moderate abnormalities and moderate abnormalities r... Sun, 13 May 2012 22:11:56 EST Week 45 - Total Weight Loss: 81.8 lbs http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4869087 So I stepped on the scale this morning and saw 236.8. A weight loss of 1.8 lbs. I am a little disappointed because I went to the gym 6 days this week and didn't have any days over 2000 calories. According to the all the numbers, nutrition and my bodybugg, I had a total calorie deficit of 9535 calories which, if my body was a calculator, would have meant a weight loss of roughly 2.6 lbs this week. Oh well. Maybe I will make up for it next week. <BR> <BR> I've only got 2.8 lbs to lose to reach... Sun, 6 May 2012 15:49:22 EST Got a Compliment at the Gym http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4861087 First let me say, I remember reading a blog where someone posted about a trainer coming up to her and complimenting her on her hard work and I remember thinking, "She is probably just trying to get extra clients or something." Never in my life did I think anyone would approach me at the gym to comment on my weight loss. But it happened. <BR> <BR> I went to the gym Sunday night after having a mental argument with myself about not wanting to go. I walked in, scanned in, and made my way to the ... Tue, 1 May 2012 11:25:05 EST My Bathing Suit - Beginning Pics http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4858206 I wasn't sure if I was going to post my before pics of my bathing suit that doesn't fit on here or not, but decided after taking them, that I should. I was originally going to wait until I had after photos to go with them, but what the hell. If I am judge on SP, it would be a surprise. I have come to so far already and will go even further. <BR> <BR> So, for those who haven't read my other blog, I bought a bathing suit from Torrid online. I bought a size 2 because that is what I have been bu... Sun, 29 Apr 2012 21:02:28 EST Emails http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4857902 Oops, I just told someone they could email me anytime and then I realized I never get the email notification. So I went to my sparkmail and found I had 100s of unread emails from the spark teams I was a part of (that I do not participate in) and also realized that I had it set up that team members could not email me. I wonder how many emails I have missed out on because of that? lol. Oops. I corrected it. Sun, 29 Apr 2012 16:58:11 EST Week 44 - Total Weight Loss: 80 lbs http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4857837 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/7/4/l746498551.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> <em>244</em> I stepped on the scale this morning to find a loss of 2.8 lbs. That is exactly what I wanted because not only would it put me at a total of 80 lbs lost to date, but also would put me at 25% of my body weight lost. I am officially into the 230's. I wonder how long it will take me to get into the 220's? <BR> <BR> It is so funny. On Thursday, my trainer was looking at my food tracker and my bodyb... Sun, 29 Apr 2012 16:03:36 EST Week 43 - Total Weight Loss: 77.2 lbs http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4846686 I got on the scale this morning to find a weight loss of 2.2 lbs. At first, I was disappointed because I totally kicked butt this week but then I realized it's that time of the month so my numbers could be a little screwy. We'll see next week. <BR> <BR> But during that short pessimistic period after getting on the scale, this is what my brain said: "What is the point in going to the gym 5 days a week and eating below 1600 calories most days of the week if I am just going to lose the same a... Sun, 22 Apr 2012 14:32:34 EST My 300th Day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4843974 Today is my 300th day back on SP and watching what I am eating and tracking my food and making it a point to exercise. I wish I had something special to blog about for my 300th day, but I don't. <BR> <BR> So I will just say that per 24 Hour Fitness's website, I have gone to the gym 85 times in the past 300 days and that doesn't even include the days the system was down. While that doesn't seem like much, according to the website, it averages out to 2 days a week. Some weeks I did more and s... Fri, 20 Apr 2012 11:25:22 EST Working with my New Trainer - Ended up with an Anxiety Attack http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4841434 So in November, I started working with a personal trainer named Cory. I signed up for an introduction package of 3 sessions. I was very nervous, but I knew I needed something to keep me going because the competition I was in that got me started on my weight loss journey was ending. Originally, my plan was only to do those 3 sessions to learn proper form and kind of just pick his mind. On the third session, I decided to sign up for an additional 10 sessions expecting those to be my last. While... Wed, 18 Apr 2012 18:52:56 EST My Rewards (updated a 3rd time) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4836853 I want this to my on the first page of my blogs as a reminder for myself, so I am just reposting my reward list. <BR> <BR> I actually earned my fifth reward today, but have decided to skip it because I don't really feel like I earned it. I almost didn't. Not everyone will agree with me, but I want to work towards the reward. For the past couple of months, I wasn't working towards it. I was just doing some of the work. So I don't feel I should reward myself at this time so I am skipping it. B... Sun, 15 Apr 2012 23:29:38 EST The Truth About Weight Loss...or at least mine http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4836232 Trust me, if I can do it, anyone can. I have had to step out of my comfort zone on many occasions to get where I am. For instance, working with a trainer. I don't like meeting new people and often times don't like the new people I meet. Starting with a trainer was very difficult for me, and now I am having to start all over with another trainer which I am very unsure about. It's taking a lot of encouragement from my first trainer to get me to continue with training even though I know I need t... Sun, 15 Apr 2012 15:33:38 EST Week 42 - Total Weight Loss: 75 lbs http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4836217 I kicked ass this week. My calorie intake wasn't perfect. It was literally up down up down up down. Here are my total calories from Sunday to Saturday (2290, 1663, 2096, 1528, 2065, 1590, and 2365). I really wasn't trying to get above 2000 on any of those days and wasn't happy when I did. On Wednesday when I ate 1528, I probably should have been over 2000 because when I uploaded my bodybugg it said I had burned 3626 calories. That was over 2000 calorie deficit and I am only suppose to have a ... Sun, 15 Apr 2012 15:24:18 EST Week 41- And one last gain http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4825748 Seriously, this will be my last gain. I took a mini vacation since my kid has been out on spring break. Me and vacations don't work. While I hate that my next vacation isn't until July, it is going to do me some good to have a set schedule so I can get back on track. I did pretty good with my eating last week and then this week just went to hell. I didn't make my 4 days at the gym but instead only made 3 because I was suppose to do my 4th day on Friday but we spent the whole day at Knott's. S... Sun, 8 Apr 2012 15:14:16 EST My Trainer Broke Up with Me http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4821297 I am feeling sad. I worked out with my trainer tonight and was sat down and told that he took another job and will be moving to Texas. I am so sad. I hate change and he wants me to work with another trainer who he says he trusts. I am torn. I need personal training because I do not trust myself to continue doing my strength training on my own. He is going to ask the other trainer to come join us with our last sessions next week so we can get to know each other and the other trainer can see th... Thu, 5 Apr 2012 03:49:42 EST Week 40 - Total Weight loss - 72 lbs http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4815259 I had a large gain last week and an even larger loss this week. I got on a scale and lost 7.2 lbs. Woo hoo! Let me break that weight loss down for you. I know it wasn't real just as I knew last week the gain wasn't real. There were so many factors that came into play with my gain last week that are also coming into play with my loss. Before my weigh in last week, I had gone a little overboard with eating and therefore I had way to much sodium in my system and also the food (I have stomach iss... Sun, 1 Apr 2012 16:17:59 EST Week 39 - And yet another gain http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4807258 I am seriously trying to claw my way back to weight loss. I ended up gaining 4.2 lbs this week. I did really well up until Thursday and then everything just went down hill from there. So I showed a weight gain. I have my monthly weigh in with my trainer next week and I don't expect good results. I am just hoping to be exactly where I was at the beginning of this month. He wants a loss, but at this point, I think that might be asking a bit too much. <BR> <BR> I am just going to say this month... Tue, 27 Mar 2012 12:26:16 EST Week 38 - Total Weight Loss: 69.4 lbs http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4794948 Thank God for my personal trainer. If it wasn't for him, I think I would have quit this journey. I am trying to get back into the swing of things by counting my calories and getting into the habit of going to the gym. It's so freaking hard and if I didn't have my scheduled, paid for session with my trainer, I think I would just quit. My motivation is completely gone. I am working on pushing through it and just doing it. I don't want to quit. But right now, I am running on sheer willpower and ... Mon, 19 Mar 2012 12:26:59 EST Week 37 - Vegas Vacation - And a gain (pics) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4782377 I will start this blog without mentioning the gain. I will save that for later. It was my birthday this week so a couple of friends and I went to Vegas for a few days. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/1/l215989668.jpg"> <BR> <BR> We had a lot of fun, but of course, it's Vegas so there was a lot of eating out and drinking. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/6/4/l641360200.jpg"> <BR> <BR> And more drinking <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-... Sun, 11 Mar 2012 17:50:53 EST Week 36 - Total Weight Loss: 69.2 lbs http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4770923 So I lost the weight I "gained last week" and a little bit on top of it. I was really surprised to show any kind of weight loss and not a gain on top of my gain last week. I haven't gotten back on the wagon just yet. And tomorrow I am going to Vegas for a few days and as you can probably guess, I will likely not be doing so well. So I am not going to punish myself for not doing good this week. I am just going to do the best I can and get right back on the horse towards the end of this week. I... Sun, 4 Mar 2012 23:18:42 EST Week 35 - And a gain http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4758213 I stepped on the scale this morning so see 251.2. That is a gain of 1.2 lbs. I had a deficit of over 8000 calories for the week, so I do not believe it is real and even on the days I did "bad", I still burned more calories then I ate according to my bodybugg . So this is just a slight set back. Hopefully next weeks weigh in will make up for this week, though I am definitely not expecting a weight loss of 5lbs to bring me to my goal of 246 by my birthday. I am ok with that. <BR> <BR> Two thin... Sun, 26 Feb 2012 15:47:12 EST Week 34 - Total Weight Loss: 68.6 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4746336 I have officially lost all the weight I gained since the last time I was on SP back in 2008. In 2007, I started SP. I lost a total of 49.8 lbs and got down to 251.2 lbs from 301 lbs. This time around, I kept comparing this journey to my last. Every week, I would compare how I was doing this time to how I did last time. Once I passed the 22 week mark, I had nothing else to compare. I was kind of in no man's land. But I knew I still had a while to go to completely be in no man's land. I still h... Sun, 19 Feb 2012 16:25:32 EST Week 33 - Total Weight loss: 65.4 lbs http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4735705 I got on the scale this morning to find that I lost 3.8 lbs "this week ." I put quotes around "this week" because I don't believe I actually lost the weight this week. I believe it was a mix of the passed two weeks. If you remember, I had a slight weight loss last week even though I did very well lat week with the exception of the weekend. So I believe this total was for both weeks. <BR> <BR> I am glad to see the number go down. My goal is to be at 246 lbs by March 4th, just before I go to V... Sun, 12 Feb 2012 20:39:16 EST Week 32 - Total Weight Loss: 61.6 lbs http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4724135 So I got on the scale this morning to find that I lost 0.4 lbs. I really don't know why other then I binged yesterday and it's still in my body. But the rest of the week I did really well, especially in eating. So hopefully I will show a 3 lbs loss next week to make up for this. If not, oh well. I will still continue on. <BR> <BR> I am not going to make it to the gym much this week because I am in training all week at work and I hate to go to the gym before 10pm. It's so freaking busy and my... Sun, 5 Feb 2012 21:30:11 EST