CATTUTT's SparkPeople Blog CATTUTT's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Not a productive day... I slept in pretty late this morning cause I was feeling lazy. I got up and played on the computer for a bit and sat around. Then I cleaned up a little in the living room and went in my bedroom and gathered up some more laundry for dh to do. <BR> <BR> After I woke him up, I made bean tacos for lunch and we went to a battery store. Came home and I dealt with Verizon again for another hour. After that it was time to make the menu and grocery list, and I was totally not motivated to do it. ... Wed, 30 Jul 2014 21:19:35 EST I hate Verizon... So, as I posted a couple days ago, I need a new battery for my phone. Verizon refused to give me just a battery and instead sent me an entire phone. Fed Ex won't deliver to us so we had to drive an hour and half to the Fed Ex distribution center and back to pick up said phone. When I got home? No battery with the phone. They don't send batteries with replacement phones. So now I have 2 phones and no functional battery. To make a long story short, I ended up sending a nasty letter to th... Tue, 29 Jul 2014 21:08:04 EST Has anyone seen my motivation? Today has not been a healthy day, but it has been a good day nonetheless. I haven't gone hog wild -- as in, I have not had any fast food {I had Subway but that was relatively healthy... no fries involved, anyway.} For me, a day isn't a total throw away if I've managed to stay out of the fast food drive thru. Most of the time, once a day starts going bad, that's my next stop. But not today. So I give myself a couple points for that. <BR> <BR> It hasn't been an especially productive day i... Mon, 28 Jul 2014 21:01:46 EST Much better day... Today has been considerably better than yesterday. Health wise and mood wise. I'm not a ball of grump tonight, which is nice. I hate being grumpy like I was last night. I try not to let that happen too often, although it surely does from time to time. <BR> <BR> I slept super late today. I ended up not going walking with The Buddy. My back started hurting again last night and I decided I should let it rest all day today to see if I can get it better. So I didn't get up til like an hour... Sun, 27 Jul 2014 21:04:52 EST Short and grumpy... This one is gonna be a short one. I'm in a crappy mood tonight and if I write a long post it will all be complaining. I dunno what my deal is today. Partly TOM and partly just the nature of being bipolar I guess. <BR> <BR> It has not been a healthy day. I have eaten a lot of crap and gotten no exercise. I haven't completely fallen apart and eaten as much crap as I have been tempted to eat, but still, it hasn't been a good day. <BR> <BR> Tomorrow will be better though. I'm walking with... Sat, 26 Jul 2014 20:47:45 EST If I don't sleep well tonight, there's no hope... As I predicted, I didn't sleep well last night. I fell asleep much faster than I thought I would, but I woke up a million times, and gave up and got up a half hour before my alarm was going to go off. <BR> <BR> After I got up I played on the computer til it was time to leave for my dr's appointment. I stopped and got breakfast on the way there, but I chose something fairly healthy. Then it was time for my appointment. <BR> <BR> My appointment... <BR> <BR> I was seeing the nurse practi... Fri, 25 Jul 2014 21:22:22 EST Busy day, even busier tomorrow... I found out mid-morning that a good friend is in the hospital. She has a bowel obstruction, and they think it's probably Crohn's disease. The worst part is that she has been dealing with symptoms of it for about 10 years and this is the first time they are considering that's what it might be. I personally have spent many long nights in the ER with her being very sick. So while being diagnosed with Crohn's certainly isn't a good thing, if that is the problem and they begin treating her, sh... Thu, 24 Jul 2014 21:08:16 EST Relatively productive day... The day did not start out especially well. I woke up for a while at 10:30... then went back to bed at 11:30 and slept til 1. I just wasn't ready to be awake yet, I felt tired and weak and just crappy. I didn't sleep well again last night, and I guess I needed the extra sleep. I felt better when I woke up the second time. <BR> <BR> For breakfast I had turkey and Swiss on light wheat. I didn't have a big breakfast since I didn't eat it til 1. I knew it wouldn't be too long until lunch. ... Wed, 23 Jul 2014 21:01:03 EST Just kinda muddling through... Today has not been a stellar day. First, I slept terribly last night. I kept waking up, even more often than I normally wake up. I think I was afraid of over sleeping for my test. By the time I got up, I was still crazy sleepy and irritated I couldn't sleep. <BR> <BR> I decided to grab a grilled chicken sandwich for breakfast, which would have been fine, but then I decided to have some nuggets too. Not a great choice, but better than fries, so it wasn't the worst thing I could have done... Tue, 22 Jul 2014 20:58:37 EST Had a great workout! I started out the morning feeling kind of bummed cause I woke up and ate last night. I didn't binge, though. So I told myself... you were hungry, you ate, it's over, move on. And I did. <BR> <BR> First was making a healthy breakfast of eggs, light whole wheat toast and a pear. After I ate I sat and relaxed for a few minutes while I worked up the gumption to go to the community center and workout. Then I did it! I decided to add 5 minutes to my workout by riding the recumbent bike 2 tim... Mon, 21 Jul 2014 21:12:10 EST Lovely Sunday... I feared I was starting the day off all wrong when I slept until my alarm went off. I hate the sound of that alarm, but it takes really loud, horrible, obnoxious sounds to wake me. Regular alarms, music, phones ringing... sleep right through all of it. So I have this horrible alarm sound, but it works. <BR> <BR> Surprisingly though, since then the day has been pretty good. I had a grilled chicken sandwich for breakfast. Then I headed to the park to walk with The Buddy. We had a great... Sun, 20 Jul 2014 20:44:04 EST Not a healthy day, but a good day... Started out the day sleeping nice and late this morning. I had nothing planned that I needed to be up for, and I felt lazy, so I just slept. When I did get up, I made some steel cut oatmeal with some peanut butter for breakfast. <BR> <BR> After that I just sat around and wasted time online, waiting for dh to wake up. But I ran out of patience before he woke up, so I woke him up so we could go out. First we grabbed a bite of food, I just had a grilled chicken sandwich. Still making good ... Sat, 19 Jul 2014 21:08:31 EST Got an answer to one question, so I guess 50% isn't too bad... I went to the dr with two problems today: <BR> <BR> 1. Possible PAD. On this I got no answer. She had them schedule me for an ankle brachial pressure index test. That's on Tuesday. She said after the test is done it will take her a couple days to interpret the results, and she will email me if everything is normal, or call me if there is a problem. Initially she didn't seem at all convinced I might have PAD because I am "so young", but when I reminded her about my diabetes, she agreed ... Fri, 18 Jul 2014 20:41:36 EST Another good day... Today started off well, since I woke up on my own and not to an alarm. Waking up to an alarm is never a good way to wake up. I got up and sat around a bit, then made some eggs, whole wheat bagel thin and cherries for breakfast. <BR> <BR> Then it was time for therapy. It wasn't especially exciting today, but we did cover a lot of ground. It seemed like the conversation just bounced from one thing to another. My assignment, of sorts, is to become aware every time I'm thinking something ... Thu, 17 Jul 2014 20:52:43 EST Productive day! Today has been a pretty good one. I slept fairly well last night {although it took me a long time to fall asleep}, and that started the day out pretty nicely. I woke up and went in the kitchen and put food in the slow cooker, then made breakfast. I had eggs with salsa and a whole wheat bagel thin. <BR> <BR> After breakfast I sat down and caught up on my online stuff and relaxed for a few minutes. Then it was off to walk. I took another lap around the complex, 22 minutes. My legs were... Wed, 16 Jul 2014 21:20:30 EST Appointment Status: Made I called first thing this morning to get an appointment with my pcp to talk about PAD. It took half the day of waiting, but finally they had a cancellation for Friday at 3 and gave it to me. I was really hoping to get in sooner, but since it is this week, I'm happy. When I first called she said there was nothing available until next week, so I've at least been spared having to wait over the weekend. <BR> <BR> Health wise, it has been a so-so day. I started out really badly and ate fast f... Tue, 15 Jul 2014 20:53:30 EST I hope this is just my hypochondria... A few months ago I was walking with The Buddy and mentioned leg pain, and she was concerned. At the time I assured her it was just because my muscles are out of shape, and that's what I believed. Now I'm not so sure. Every time I walk, my legs are on fire. Today the pain was so bad I was barely able to make it through my walk. So I decided to research her concerns and searched "leg pain while exercising". And found that what happens to me... pain every time I exercise, that stops almost... Mon, 14 Jul 2014 21:03:27 EST Happy Sunday, all! Today has been a really good day. I slept extra late, probably because I was up extra late finishing my book. I reached that point where there was just no putting it down until it was finished. And I slept relatively peacefully until I woke up at almost 1 pm and got up. <BR> <BR> I was feeling pretty lazy, so I just made some light whole wheat toast and put some peanut butter on it, and had cherries with it for breakfast. I usually have eggs for breakfast, but since I had slept so late I... Sun, 13 Jul 2014 20:48:06 EST Just taking it easy today... I woke up this morning still feeling tired, and just generally kinda blah. And I wanted Taco Bell. Breakfast of champions, right? So that's what I had. I showed some restraint and didn't eat as much as I normally would, but it still wasn't good. Except it was good. Totally hit the spot. Last week I ignored TOM cravings but today I fed them Taco Bell. <BR> <BR> The rest of the day has been okay though. For lunch, I made up a beans and rice dish. It was really really good. Then for d... Sat, 12 Jul 2014 21:07:31 EST Tired tonight... Round 2 of TOM is still kicking my butt a little bit. The cramping and back pain haven't been as bad as they were last night, but they're definitely still there. And my head is pounding, which I'm guessing is a hormonal thing at the moment. In spite of it, though... I'm still hanging in there today! <BR> <BR> I started off the day well by getting up a little early. I knew I had to be ready to go to that class thingy with my friend this evening, and I wanted to be sure I had time to get e... Fri, 11 Jul 2014 21:00:20 EST What is going on with my body? My body seems to be starting another cycle of TOM. Before the last one even fully ended! It was almost gone and I was feeling normal again... and now all the sudden it has gotten heavy, and I'm cramping again and my back hurts. And as yesterdays post will attest, I'm also not 100% emotionally stable either. I don't know what's going on. I've been on the same birth control pill for a bout 5 months and this is the first time this has happened. Guess it's time to send the dr an email and a... Thu, 10 Jul 2014 21:50:46 EST So glad this day is almost over... The day started all wrong at 1 am. I woke up, and couldn't fall asleep again, and ended up stuffing my face. I finally fell asleep again, and slept til 11:30 am. I woke up, sat around for a few minutes, decided I wasn't ready to face the day, and went back to sleep until 1:15 pm. At that point I got up for the day. <BR> <BR> As I've mentioned {many times}, I am bipolar. I'm more inclined toward manic anxiety than depression, but sometimes I do swing towards depressed. That's where I was... Wed, 9 Jul 2014 20:59:12 EST Feeling like a fraud... First of all, I want to say thank you so much to all of you that left comments on my blog last night. You're all so supportive and encouraging and it means the world to me. <BR> <BR> Unfortunately I'm not sure I deserve the praise. About 3 hours after I posted last night's blog, I was shoving food in my face. I laid down and tried to go to sleep, and I couldn't fall asleep. And I couldn't think about anything but food. I tried to distract myself, but nothing was working. All I could ... Tue, 8 Jul 2014 21:31:22 EST Exhausted! Last night was a looooooong night. For some reason I couldn't sleep. It took me forever to fall asleep, and then I kept waking up and not being able to doze off again. I probably only got a handful of hours of sleep before I gave up and got up when dh got home from work at 8:45 this morning. That's almost 4 hours earlier than I'm used to getting up. But I was tired of rolling around and struggling to sleep and decided I'd rather be awake and tired than to lay there any longer. <BR> <BR>... Mon, 7 Jul 2014 21:02:04 EST Getting the week kicked off right! After many weeks of illnesses, vacations and other issues {mostly mine}, The Buddy and I finally got to walk today. Woo hoo! Mother Nature smiled upon me. The Weather Channel was saying yesterday the highs would be in the mid 80s and sunny. But I decided I would suck it up and walk anyway. Turned out it was only in the low 70s when we walked, and cloudy. Very perfect weather for a walk, especially for July 6th! We walked 23 minutes, and my legs were on FIRE by the time we were done. I... Sun, 6 Jul 2014 20:59:30 EST Lazy Saturday... Today has been one incredibly lazy day. My belly has been kinda bleh because of TOM, so I've done a lot of relaxing... and not much else. Dh needed me to drive him to a store for an errand, which took all of maybe 10 minutes. Otherwise I've been inside taking it easy all day. <BR> <BR> I'm happy to say I made it through last night without eating. Woo hoo! Just when I was laying down for bed, I had a slice of lowfat cheese on light whole wheat bread and a glass of milk. I think maybe th... Sat, 5 Jul 2014 20:57:33 EST It needs to be time to go to therapy! Picture it, last night... settled in, trying to fall asleep. Then suddenly, without warning, I'm in the kitchen shoveling food into my mouth. What the heck happened? I honestly don't know. I was doing SO well yesterday and feeling so proud of myself. And then a little insomnia, and I'm eating like I'll never see food again. The damage wasn't nearly as bad as I have done in the past. I did eat relatively healthy things, and I didn't eat til I was sick. But I still ate too much at a tim... Fri, 4 Jul 2014 21:06:14 EST Happy Independence Day Eve! Is anyone out celebrating tonight? Columbus has their fireworks show on the 3rd so all the suburbs can do theirs on the 4th. They're expecting 400,000 people downtown for the show tonight. That's about 399.000 people too many for my tastes. We went down there a couple years when we first moved up here, but it's just too many people. {I'm really not a people person!} <BR> <BR> Today has been a pretty good day, though. I decided against going to the gym. I was kinda tired and achy, and ... Thu, 3 Jul 2014 21:17:32 EST Bet I don't forget to take my pills tonight! Last night at the time dh left for work, I was still wide awake. That was odd, cause normally I go to bed when he leaves. I don't always fall asleep immediately, but I'm usually getting tired. Last night I wasn't tired at all. So I laid down with a magazine and waited to get sleepy. Finished the magazine, still not sleepy. I figured I'd go ahead and lay down and maybe I'd get sleepy. After laying over there staring at the back of the futon for a while, I realized why I wasn't sleepy...... Wed, 2 Jul 2014 21:01:20 EST Horray for headache oil! I had a nasty headache earlier, but the ever magical headache oil took care of it. A little of it massaged into my temples, and 20 minutes later I felt much better. I don't know what's causing me to get so many headaches, but I'm really glad I found that headache oil so I don't have to keep taking pain pills every day. The headaches have been happening since my oral surgery, although I don't know why oral surgery would cause headaches. In any case, I'll be seeing my doctor around the end ... Tue, 1 Jul 2014 21:27:25 EST Feeling so great tonight! Today has been absolutely awesome. First of all, I slept better than normal last night. I'd say I had at least 1 stretch of 3 hours without waking, and that's almost unheard of for me. I didn't even wake up and eat in the middle of the night. <BR> <BR> That definitely got my day started off on the right foot. I felt so much better this morning than I did Friday and Saturday. My friend calls it the "cracked out" feeling when you don't sleep well, and that describes it pretty aptly. Or... Mon, 30 Jun 2014 21:11:37 EST Looking toward the second half of the year... I finally got some sleep last night, woo hoo! I didn't sleep great, but I slept much better than I had the previous two nights. For the first few hours I was asleep I was only waking up once every couple hours, which is about twice as long as I had been lasting. Therefore I feel MUCH better today. <BR> <BR> Eating today has not been great. I've been starving all day. TOM wreaking havoc on me I think. I did manage to cook some food, egg tarts. They were really good. Shamefully low on ... Sun, 29 Jun 2014 20:51:10 EST Just a shorty tonight... Still not sleeping, and still feeling like absolute crap. I'm trying to keep things under control on the eating front as best I can. I haven't been perfect, but I haven't given in and eaten everything I can shove in my mouth. Tempting though it is. <BR> <BR> I did cook some food today, but that's all I've accomplished. That, and going to pick up my insulin from the pharmacy. Otherwise I haven't even stuck my nose out the door today. I've read, drank cups of hot green tea, and general... Sat, 28 Jun 2014 21:22:30 EST Ever have one of those days? Ever have a day where you feel like you're completely falling apart? That's me today. I slept terribly last night and I think that's the main source of my problem, with a dash of allergies and a big dose of TOM added to it. I have felt like crap all day. <BR> <BR> Despite feeling like death reheated, I have gotten through the day without doing too badly. I ate a couple times during the night last night, but I didn't stuff myself and the choices I made weren't terrible. And I was legit... Fri, 27 Jun 2014 20:55:06 EST Giving myself a gold star... <em>8</em> <BR> <BR> We decided to go to IHOP, as I was thinking last night. We were going there because they had healthy options on their menu last time we were there, and I wanted to choose something good for me. Welp... since we were there last they took those healthy options off the menu. The grilled chicken sandwich I was planning to get was gone. What do to? I decided on a turkey melt. It was sourdough bread with turkey, bacon, a thin slice of cheese, lettuce, tomato and salsa... Thu, 26 Jun 2014 21:07:29 EST Doing things backwards today... Most days I start off really healthy, and things fall apart as the day goes on. Apparently I was bored with routine today and decided to shake things up. I ate crappy fast food at breakfast... but then got on track and have eaten healthy since. I'm actually pretty shocked I managed that. Most of the time, once I eat something bad, it's all over for the day. But today I have dug deep and found some willpower to not throw the whole day away because I ate something bad this morning. I prob... Wed, 25 Jun 2014 21:10:31 EST Well, at least I had a good recovery... I woke up last night and lost my mind. I was hungry, and worried {more on that later} and just had no will power. The only thing I cared about in that moment was eating, eating and more eating. So that's what I did. I ate and ate, until I was literally in pain. If I had woken up, been hungry, eaten enough to not be hungry, and gone back to bed... I would have been disappointed that I ate extra calories, but not too upset with myself. Instead, I woke up and ate. And ate more and more un... Tue, 24 Jun 2014 21:03:10 EST Feeling the motivation today... I got a very pleasant surprise on the scale this morning -- down another 2 lbs! I was just hoping to be down a few ounces. Though I had done well almost every day, most evenings ended with eating something extra. {Not binging every night, but eating more than was planned.} So I wasn't expecting stellar results this week. I was shocked when I hopped on and saw I was down another 2 lbs. It's hard evidence that just because I eat an extra something or two, it won't entirely derail all my e... Mon, 23 Jun 2014 21:16:07 EST Oh, how she tests my patience! First, let me say... I love my grandmother more than life itself. But that woman drives me CRAZY. She lives in Virginia, by herself. No family around. I feel bad for her being alone, so I submit to her desire to talk to me on the phone 2-4 times a day, every day. First thing when I wake up, and again at 8:30 pm. Usually another time or two in between. I try so hard to be patient and understanding, but some days she just grates on my last nerve. Every single time I talk to her it's the... Sun, 22 Jun 2014 21:31:20 EST That was a timely article... The article on today's main page about recovering from a binge was apt for me today. Something crazy happened last night. I didn't have a binge on the scale of some I've had in the past, but I definitely ate food I didn't need, and continued eating when I wasn't hungry anymore. Not good. It's like my body gets possessed by aliens that want to fatten me up for the slaughter. <BR> <BR> I didn't let last night ruin today, though. Despite eating like a piggy before bed, I didn't use that ... Sat, 21 Jun 2014 21:07:10 EST Really, AEP? Really? Got the pleasure of more power outages again today. Fortunately this time they did not happen while I was home alone in the middle of the night. They were just annoying, but not scary. 12 years with no power outages and now we have 3 lengthy ones in 2 days. It really is quite amazing how dependent I am on having electricity. <BR> <BR> Other than the power outages, it has been a pretty good day. I slept fairly late, owing to getting no sleep night before last. When I finally crawled o... Fri, 20 Jun 2014 21:09:24 EST Productive visit to the Diabetes Educator... Okay, I definitely did NOT follow my plan at all today and have not eaten well. So I'm not gonna dwell on it, it's just one day, and I have bigger fish to fry in this blog post than lamenting those evil fries! <BR> <BR> Okay, so first of all, I've had about an hour of sleep since 3 am. For some reason I happened to wake up {maybe a loud clap of thunder?} and just as I was rolling over to settle back in to sleep more... the power went off. I recognize that I am 34 years old, a full grown ad... Thu, 19 Jun 2014 20:59:37 EST Oh, how I love thunderstorms! We're actually getting a little bit of a thunderstorm at the moment. You'd think, living in the midwest, I'd get plenty of thunderstorms, but it seems like they predict them and then they never happen at my house. But tonight we're getting one, and I'm loving it. I love the sound of thunder and pounding rain. Makes me wish it was bedtime! <BR> <BR> Today has been a pretty productive day. I woke up before my alarm went off, and that's definitely better than getting jarred out of sleep by... Wed, 18 Jun 2014 21:16:19 EST Hungry, Hungry Hippo!! Today has just been one of those days where I woke up starving, and am starving again 10 minutes after I eat. I don't know what's going on with me, but all day long I have wanted to eat, eat, eat. The bad news is that I HAVE eaten a lot, but the good news is that it has all been healthy food. Veggie burgers and salad and stuff. I'm irritated that I'm so hungry today, but I'm proud of myself for making healthy choices when I eat. Trying to look on the bright side. <BR> <BR> I guess the h... Tue, 17 Jun 2014 21:13:40 EST 9 pm, Day 4: Great results! So, weigh in this morning? Down 4.4 lbs from Friday. I know it's mostly water weight and all that jazz, but MAN was it nice to see the scale go from 268.2 to 263.8. When I weighed in on Friday I was hoping to make it under 265 by the end of June, but I've already made it, with room to spare. I was SO excited to see the scale go the right way. I know things are going to slow down a lot from here, and I'm okay with that, but it was nice to get a big reward this morning. <BR> <BR> I did as... Mon, 16 Jun 2014 21:12:07 EST 9 pm, Day 3: Moving right along... It's officially summer, I just snapped the first bag of fresh green beans of the season. Gonna cook those bad boys for dinner tomorrow! <BR> <BR> Today has been pretty good. Slept a little later today, which saved me from excessive boredom before dh woke up. I had a Symphony and watermelon cubes with cottage cheese for breakfast. After dh woke up, we needed to run to the library and drop off a movie. While we were out we decided to get some lunch, and have dinner later than normal. So ... Sun, 15 Jun 2014 20:55:31 EST 9 pm, Day 2: Still going! So, I'll be honest. There was a small incident at 1 am this morning. I woke up STARVING, and for some reason also wide awake. I tried to go back to sleep, but I was so hungry and not sleepy. So I gave up and ate. BUT! I had a pb& sugar free j on light bread and a few multi grain snacks. Then I STOPPED. So even though I did eat something I had not planned on eating, I ate WAY less than I would have in the past. Normally if I give in at 1 am and eat something, I eat everything I can ge... Sat, 14 Jun 2014 21:14:47 EST 9 pm, Day 1: So far so good! I'm about 3 hours from bedtime and I am ON PLAN. Woo hoo! <BR> <BR> I woke up this morning earlier than normal. I decided to go ahead and eat breakfast because I thought I was going to be eating again around 2:30, before my appointment with the oral surgeon. I ate a cup of light Greek yogurt and a Symphony {small baked good made out of all kinds of healthy things.} I was surprisingly satisfied when I finished. Then I got a call that they would like me to come in early for my appointment... Fri, 13 Jun 2014 21:01:23 EST Tomorrow is the big day! The day is almost here. The getting-back-to-being-healthy day. I'm so ready for it. Not ready for facing what the scale is going to tell me in the morning, but I must remind myself it won't be staying there for long. I will get some of this weight off! <BR> <BR> Today has been a good day. We went grocery shopping to start things off tomorrow morning. We didn't buy tons of stuff, but what I did get is healthy. I got lots of cucumbers to eat with hummus, some tomatoes, salad mix, fresh ... Thu, 12 Jun 2014 21:40:09 EST 1 More Day! After tomorrow, it's back on the healthy living bandwagon. My mouth is about 95% okay now, and I'm ready. <BR> <BR> Did some preparing today. I gave the kitchen a good cleaning this afternoon, and cleared out the fridge. Annoyingly found that the 4 pack of yogurt I bought a few days ago was already out of date. I REALLY need to check dates. I always forget in the store. Now the kitchen is ready and waiting for the healthy food to be stocked. <BR> <BR> Later in the afternoon we went t... Wed, 11 Jun 2014 21:15:40 EST