CATTUTT's SparkPeople Blog CATTUTT's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community No accounting for mood swings! I don't talk about it a lot in my blogs, but I am bipolar. {Type 2, if you want to be specific.} I'm heavily medicated, and it's generally pretty well controlled. I mention my anxiety considerably more, because the anxiety is considerably more of a day to day problem. My being bipolar isn't a secret, I just don't often have cause to mention it. <BR> <BR> And then there are days like today. I woke up this morning in a foul mood. "Woke up on the wrong side of the bed" would've been a goo... Thu, 29 Jan 2015 20:37:04 EST Intriguing title... Sorry guys, just couldn't think of a title tonight... <BR> <BR> Today is a day for skating by on technicalities. Food wise, I mean. <BR> <BR> I woke up this morning when my alarm went off, and got up to get dressed to go out for lunch with my friend. Here we are after we ate... <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> We had a yummy, healthy lunch, and had a nice time visiting and chatting. <BR> <BR> After that, it was time to go meet ... Wed, 28 Jan 2015 20:43:56 EST Just gotta keep on... Sometimes I feel like a broken record. This is one of those times. Last night didn't end well... again. Couldn't fall asleep, got too hungry, the same story I've told 100 times, with the very same ending. <BR> <BR> I got up this morning and shook it off and got back on track, though. I was really disappointed with myself and just generally wanted to have a pity party, but pity parties usually involve a lot of calories. So I just flat out ignored the little voice in my head saying "Why d... Tue, 27 Jan 2015 20:57:24 EST Once again, you wise bunch of Sparkers! I think those of you who suggested my headaches being caused by changes in barometric pressure may have been right. I had a headache for the 3 days leading up to and including this last relatively large bout of weather we had, but no headache today, and the storm is gone. So perhaps that is what it was. <BR> <BR> Well, last night ended really terribly. My blood sugar got low, and I did what I always do when that happens -- stuffed myself. I *KNOW* I only need to eat a little, and then ... Mon, 26 Jan 2015 20:53:35 EST What is with these headaches?? Today makes the third evening in a row I've had a headache, and I haven't the slightest idea why! The only thing I can think of is that it is also the third day in a row of eating well, and my body is confused about not getting the voluminous amounts of food it prefers. Once again, a dose of Ibuprofen, which will hopefully take care of it. <BR> <BR> But in spite of it, it has been a pretty good day! I woke up earlier today than I have for a couple weeks. As soon as I got up, I checked ... Sun, 25 Jan 2015 20:28:14 EST Happy Saturday Night! Managed to drag myself out of bed 15 minutes earlier today than yesterday. Progress is progress, right? I sat around for a while before having some breakfast and then heading to the park. <BR> <BR> The walk at the park was great! My new SP buddy was able to meet me today and we had a really good walk. We walked for 45 minutes, and I felt awesome afterward. I was really proud of us for getting in 45 minutes, I consider that a pretty good workout. <BR> <BR> After that I came home and r... Sat, 24 Jan 2015 20:42:45 EST My, but time gets away from me! I really need to wake up earlier. Seriously. I sleep soooo late and then the day just flies by in the blink of an eye. Unfortunately when it's actually time to get up earlier... I don't care about anything but sleeping more. I guess I need to work on that! <BR> <BR> Today has been a pretty good day. I did sleep until pretty much the last minute, but I got up in time to go walking with my new SP buddy. Unfortunately she wasn't able to make it. So I decided to just walk around here at t... Fri, 23 Jan 2015 20:14:25 EST Good evening, folks... Another day that I haven't really had time to be around SP. I"m starting to feel like a stranger in these parts! <BR> <BR> I woke up with a few minutes to spare before I had to leave for the dentist, so I played online a bit. Then it was off to the dentist. As I knew would be the case, I have to have some work done. One appt on Feb 2 and one on Feb 18th. Ugh. But on the bright side, they didn't do anything painful today. So I consider that a win. <BR> <BR> After my appointment, I cam... Thu, 22 Jan 2015 20:39:48 EST Thanks for the get well wishes, everyone! I really appreciate all the kind comments left on my blog yesterday. You guys are really wonderful. <BR> <BR> I'm happy to say that today has been better. After moist heat was suggested on my blog yesterday, I threw laying with a hot, wet towel on my back into the rotation of walking, stretching and laying. I guess the combination of all the above worked, and my back is feeling much better. I'm still a little stiff and sore, but it's nothing at all like the pain yesterday. <BR> <BR> Als... Wed, 21 Jan 2015 20:29:30 EST Just a short one tonight... Sorry I haven't been around today, guys. My back is giving me fits. I've made sure to get up and walk around frequently, and do some stretches, but the pain only really goes away when I'm laying. So I'm letting myself lay a bit, in between bouts of walking around the apartment and so forth. <BR> <BR> Hopefully by tomorrow it will be feeling significantly better. Until then, I think some relaxing and book reading is just what the doctor ordered. <BR> <BR> Hope everyone had a great Tues... Tue, 20 Jan 2015 19:58:59 EST Proven my own hypothesis... You guys will definitely want to take me at my word, and not run your own experiment... but my grandmother is definitely easier to deal with when I've burned off some energy with exercise. Yesterday I theorized it, today I confirmed it. Time to inform some scientific journals, I guess! <BR> <BR> So yeah, once again, REALLY didn't want to get up today. I was so tired this morning. I did get up, though reluctantly. I sat for a few minutes while the devil on my shoulder argued the merits o... Mon, 19 Jan 2015 20:35:48 EST An interesting no-exercise phenomenon... So we all know exercise is good for us, for lots of reasons, right? Right. I just discovered another one... Patience! For those couple weeks I was exercising faithfully and moving my body every day, talking to my grandmother didn't ruffle my feathers. Now that I haven't worked out in 5 days, the last two nights, I've just wanted to slam the phone down and run around the room and scream. The little things that had been bouncing right off have all gotten under my skin, tonight to the point... Sun, 18 Jan 2015 20:35:17 EST Drive By... Just wanted to post a quick blog so that none of you wonderful people worry about me or think I've gone AWOL! <BR> <BR> Honestly I don't have a good explanation for having been away. I just haven't felt great, no motivation at all. I didn't want to be here posting excuses, because that's all they'd be... excuses. There's no GOOD reason to not treat my body well, and I know that. So I thought I'd spare all of you the lame justifications I give myself for doing or not doing things. <BR> <... Sat, 17 Jan 2015 19:58:16 EST Argh! The binge monster got me again last night! Grrr! Back on track, though. Just felt I should be honest about the binge. <BR> <BR> Today was kind of a busy day, but mostly only because I slept so late. I only had a few minutes after I woke up to get dressed. I was meeting my friend at her house at noon to go to the hospital with her so she could have an iron transfusion and I could keep her company. So we did that. Took a few hours to get in, get hooked up, get the drip, and get out of t... Wed, 14 Jan 2015 20:28:02 EST 3 miles! Last night did not end well. I wasn't able to fall asleep, and after hours of laying there trying to sleep, getting hungrier and hungrier... I ended up binging. I should have gotten a snack before I got to that point, instead of getting to the point of starvation and then shoveling everything I could into my mouth. That wasn't one of my better ideas. And unfortunately, I got subconsciously rewarded for doing it because I was able to fall asleep within minutes afterward. Not a good preced... Tue, 13 Jan 2015 20:21:42 EST Kettlebells are no joke! First of all, thanks to you guys that have responded to my Willpower blog, you're all wonderful! <BR> <BR> Today has been a pretty good day! The stupid sale is just STUCK and refuses to go the right way, but I'm not letting it throw me off course. It'll move in it's own good time. I'm eager to get comfortably away from 250, and it's stuck at 248.6, but it is under, so I'm happy! <BR> <BR> Started off the morning right, with some healthy breakfast. Then I checked the weather and saw th... Mon, 12 Jan 2015 21:11:32 EST Blog for Week 2 of the Building Your Willpower program... Week 2 <BR> <BR> 1. When you think about how life will be when you accomplish your goal, what do you imagine feeling, having, or doing? What is the big "why" behind your goal? <BR> <BR> I imagine myself enjoying life more! I want to be able to do things without considering whether or not I"m in good enough shape. If my dh wants to take a 3 mile trail at a park, I wanna say "Let's go!" instead of "Yeah right!" If we go to the zoo, I want to walk around and see ALL the zoo, not have to pic... Mon, 12 Jan 2015 19:02:12 EST Two Spark buddies in one day! Once again... not ready to wake up this morning! When my alarm went off, I did get up, but if it hadn't been for the alarm I sure wouldn't have! Got up and got dressed, then attempted to put lunch in the slow cooker and it wouldn't work. Not a great start to the morning! <BR> <BR> It got better after that though. I had some breakfast, then went to the park to meet The Buddy. We walked, although we only made it 33 minutes this week, instead of 43 minutes like last week. It had warmed up... Sun, 11 Jan 2015 20:26:54 EST Happy, Healthy Saturday... Today has been a really good day! I woke up late, but that's pretty much my normal now. Not sure it even qualifies as being "late" anymore. I woke up and got online for a bit while I tried to wake up, then got surprised by dh waking up about 10 minutes after I did. I made both of us a bite of healthy breakfast and we ate. I enjoyed having breakfast with him, since he's always asleep when I eat. <BR> <BR> After that I waged an internal war with myself about working out. I knew I wanted ... Sat, 10 Jan 2015 20:52:39 EST So glad to be feeling like myself again... Today has been SO much better than yesterday. I was still tired and didn't want to get up this morning, but I did drag myself out of bed eventually. I could tell right away that I was in better shape than I was yesterday. I sat for a few minutes to shake out the cobwebs, then made some breakfast. <BR> <BR> I caught up on a few Spark tasks after breakfast, then headed to the craft room for a workout. I had originally planned to do WATP, but then I decided to try a new dvd I had instead.... Fri, 9 Jan 2015 20:57:08 EST Just not feeling it tonight... Just dropping by to say I'm not feeling up to an actual blog. I've felt lousy all day. Mentally, anyway. Physically I'm fine. I didn't get in any exercise today, but my appetite has been pretty much zilch, so I've stayed on plan with my food. <BR> <BR> I apologize to anyone who's comment I haven't respond to, or if I miss anything in blog posts today. <BR> <BR> I'm just going to curl up with my book and try to get through the night til bedtime, and hope with all my might I wake up fee... Thu, 8 Jan 2015 20:25:40 EST Oh, the weather outside is frightful... Tonight is the kind of night I really wish we had a fireplace. It'd be nice to be sitting by a roaring fire at the moment. Not that it's particularly cold in my apartment, but knowing how cold it is outside... brrr. <BR> <BR> Today has definitely ended better than it started. I had a very vivid dream that was haunting me when I woke up. I hate dreams like that. And to be honest, I really just ended up in a pretty lousy mood this morning. I wasn't motivated to do anything but sit on my ... Wed, 7 Jan 2015 20:46:38 EST Got out of bed on the wrong foot... I woke up feeling pretty crappy this morning. I was a little nauseous, and just didn't feel "right". I couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was, but something was off. After a while, I entertained the notion that it might be anxiety making me feel that way. I've never woke up feeling the physical effects of anxiety as soon as I get out of bed, but nevertheless, I suspected that might be it. So I took a sedative, and a short time later, I felt much better. So it was, in fact, anxiety. I ha... Tue, 6 Jan 2015 21:03:50 EST A blog post with my answers to the first week's questions on the "Boosting Your Willpower" plan... This blog is to post the answers to the questions for week 1. I'm doing this as part of the Camp WannaBeFit Challenge, and sharing my responses. <BR> <BR> 1. If anything were possible, what would you most like to welcome in to your life? What might this require of you? <BR> <BR> First and foremost, I would like to welcome health into my life. I have not taken great care of myself, and am obese with Type 2 Diabetes now. Physical activity is difficult for me, and I often miss out on things... Tue, 6 Jan 2015 13:46:57 EST My bullet proof parka... The weather people were not wrong about the temperature today. It never got out of the mid-teens outside, with windchills below zero most of the day. I like cold weather, but that's just absurd. <BR> <BR> I slept later than I intended this morning, and was still tired when I got up. I sat for a few minutes while I waited for my brain to think clear thoughts. Then it was time to take Ginger out. I put a sweater and her winter coat on her, then bundled myself. I bundled myself in my par... Mon, 5 Jan 2015 21:00:22 EST A mighty fine Sunday! Well, I woke up before my alarms this morning, which I like. Except that I woke up because my bladder was about to burst. Still, I think I'd rather have a painfully full bladder than get woken from peaceful sleep by an obnoxious alarm clock. {I have to use the really loud, really obnoxious ones. Otherwise I sleep right through it.} <BR> <BR> Once I was up... I wasn't happy about it. I was still crazy sleepy. But I also really wanted to go on my walk with The Buddy, so I made myself s... Sun, 4 Jan 2015 20:50:43 EST So much rain! I was so late dragging myself out of bed today. Despite the fact I had no way to know what the weather was like from where I was sleeping, my body must have sensed that it was CRAPPY and there was no reason to get up. I did, eventually, roll out of bed, though. <BR> <BR> Even after I got up, I was still tired. So I sat, and sat a little more. Then realized I hadn't had breakfast, so I made some steel cut oatmeal and ate. The food gave me a little more spunk and I felt a bit better. I c... Sat, 3 Jan 2015 21:00:02 EST Day 1: So Far, So Good! Day 1 of being back on track has gone pretty darn well, I gotta say! I woke up more than an hour earlier than I have been waking up, which I took as a sign of a good day to come. Then the day got better when I got on the scale. Last time I weighed myself, which was several weeks ago, I weighed 252. I hadn't dared to get on the scale since then. I was crossing my fingers just to still be under 260, cause I knew it was going to be an ugly number. So... the verdict? 252.6. Say what? Aft... Fri, 2 Jan 2015 21:03:43 EST Am I rubbing off on dh? Right after we got home, dh got himself a glass of water to drink. I thought that was a little odd, but every now and then he drinks water. Then a little later, he went and got another big glass and came and sat down with it. I gave him kind of a quizzical look, and he said "Well, I guess I"m kinda making a resolution to drink more water this year." Pretty awesome, right? Dh almost never drinks anything except Coke, root beer or something alcoholic. He's by no means a overweight, but he... Thu, 1 Jan 2015 21:05:28 EST Not feeling much like setting lofty goals... I've been saying all week that I was going to write out some goals, and still haven't done it. Somehow I'm in the mood to DO IT and not wax poetic about it. Still, I am going to set a few goals tonight for the month of January... <BR> <BR> 1. Eat at least 5 servings of produce every day. <BR> 2. At least 8 glasses of water. <BR> 3. At least 750 fitness minutes for the month. {I know that's in between award levels, but I feel like 750 will be a good number to make me work hard, but not i... Wed, 31 Dec 2014 20:49:16 EST Feeling a little aimless tonight... I just spent half an hour listening to my grandmother go on and on about how successful her friend's granddaughters are and how wonderful their kids are and so on. That's always good for the ego. It's pretty bad when she says things like "Lord I saw _______ and s/he is about as fat as you!", but I'd prefer her talking about my fatness to her endless droning about the success of other people who have chances and opportunities I never did/never will have. That kind of sucked the life out of ... Tue, 30 Dec 2014 20:39:01 EST Waking up is hard to do... Got another late start to the day today. Of course, partly that's because I was up kinda late last night. Once I did fall asleep, I just wanted to keep right on sleeping. I kept telling myself I was shooting myself in the foot for tonight, but I didn't listen. <BR> <BR> I did finally get up and get a bite to eat. After I ate I checked my phone and saw I had the text telling my the antibiotics were ready at the pharmacy. I was kind of concerned about that. My pharmacy does a fabulous jo... Mon, 29 Dec 2014 20:47:01 EST Really hasn't been my day, but horray for technology! Today was kind of a rough day. I woke up when my alarm went off so I could get up and go walk with The Buddy. When I got up, I had a headache, but I was going to go on and go anyway. So I started trying to get dressed, and then started feeling sick and sort of dizzy, I guess from the headache. At that point I figured walking just wasn't meant to happen today. I took a dose of Advil and crawled back onto the futon and went back to sleep for a while. <BR> <BR> When I woke up the second ti... Sun, 28 Dec 2014 20:37:17 EST Thank you guys so much! Thank you so much to all of you that voted me a Spark People Motivator. Getting that e-mail was the highlight of my day! <BR> <BR> It was a pretty good day overall, though. I had another epic battle of wills between the part of me that wanted to get up and get things done... and the part of me that wanted to roll over and go back to sleep. I'm not sure why I'm having such a hard time getting out of bed these past couple days, but geeze. Finally, at something after noon, I shamed myself o... Sat, 27 Dec 2014 21:01:31 EST Boy did this day get off to a lazy start! Today was one of those days I just couldn't get my motor running. I woke up a little before noon, and mainly only got up because I had to pee. I planned to stay up, so I sat down and played online for a few. But, my allergies do crazy things, and they were flaring up this morning. I have no idea why. All I know is I was all sniffly and my eyes were watery and I just felt yucky. I was also still exhausted for some reason. I still had 3 hours til it was going to be time to wake dh, and I... Fri, 26 Dec 2014 21:02:29 EST Not as sad as I usually am... Usually on Christmas night, after the last showing of A Christmas Story ends, I get sad. I feel like Christmas is officially over when that goes off. This year, though, I'm not feeling so sad. I've enjoyed the holidays, but I'm also ready for them to be over. There's been a lot of indulging, and so forth, and I'm actually pretty glad the season of indulgence is ending. I'm ready to get the New Year going, and make 2015 super awesome. <BR> <BR> That said, it has been a good day. I slept... Thu, 25 Dec 2014 21:02:03 EST Merry Christmas Eve! Merry Christmas Eve, Sparkers! I hope those of you that celebrate Christmas are having a lovely, festive evening. And I hope those of you that don't are having a lovely Wednesday night, where you probably don't have to work tomorrow! <BR> <BR> Today has been pretty good for me. I woke up on time and got dressed to go to my friend's house. I went to take pics of her, but when her very excited dog jumped up to say hi, I couldn't resist a photo of him. His name is Turbo... <BR> <BR> <img... Wed, 24 Dec 2014 21:07:56 EST Merry Christmas Eve Eve... I really can't believe tomorrow is Christmas Eve, this year has really flown by. Especially this month. I feel like it was Thanksgiving yesterday! <BR> <BR> It was a pretty good day today. I woke up a little late, but I didn't have anything planned that I needed to be up early for, so it was no big deal. I ate a bite of food and played online for a while. Then I checked the weather and discovered it wasn't raining. They had been saying rain all day today, but magically it wasn't. I to... Tue, 23 Dec 2014 20:55:29 EST Is it bedtime yet? I'm really excited for bed tonight, and not because I'm sleepy. We were able to pick up the new futon mattress today, and I can't wait to try it out. As STEVEN2GO2 predicted, Beto beat us to it. We rented a van, went and picked it up, drove it home, carried it up, and then left again to return the van and do a couple other things. When we got home again, this is what we found... <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> He definitely gives i... Mon, 22 Dec 2014 20:53:03 EST Only 4 days til Christmas?? It has been a pretty darn good day! I slept until my alarm went off, but I didn't have trouble getting up. I expected to, but I actually just woke right up and got out of bed. Since I'm only moving at about half speed when I wake up in the mornings, I only had just enough time to get dressed and get myself sorted out before it was time to leave to go walk. <BR> <BR> It was an absolutely splendid day for a walk. The sun was out bright and beautiful. Anyone that reads my blogs much knows ... Sun, 21 Dec 2014 21:01:27 EST All I want for Christmas is some patience... I'm telling you, some days my grandmother really gets on my last nerve. And she doesn't step gingerly on it, she jumps up and down on it. I don't let my annoyance show to her, I just quietly tolerate it, but sometimes I want to beat my head against the wall. I love her, but oy. <BR> <BR> Anyway... <BR> <BR> Other than being annoyed nearly to death by my grandmother, it has been a pretty good day. I woke up at just about exactly when I had hoped to. I got up and sat around for a few m... Sat, 20 Dec 2014 20:59:29 EST Finally done with my craft room! I slept later than I intended this morning, so I was behind from the get go. I had to make a bank run and another PO run this morning, so I got those done and hurried home. <BR> <BR> Then it was finally time to get my craft room all organized. After dh built the bookshelf last night, everything was in place. Or, mostly everything. I put the stuff I had bought for it in there and finished straightening up the little piles of clutter. Now it's finished until Christmas when I open my sewin... Fri, 19 Dec 2014 20:58:14 EST ResQwalk For anyone that has a smartphone and carries it with them when they walk, get the ResQwalk app. When you get ready to go on a walk, you start a walk with it, then just stick it in your pocket and walk. When you're done, stop it. Then, based on your walk, it makes a donation to an animal rescue of your choice. {It gives you a list to choose from.} I'm not sure how much it donates per mile or whatever, but hey, some is better than nothing. I tried it for the first time today while walking... Thu, 18 Dec 2014 21:20:29 EST Sleepy sleepy tonight... Today has been a very sleepy day for me. I'm not too sure why, but I was tired when I got up and have been tired since. <BR> <BR> Despite that, I did get a few things done. I met my friend for lunch today. We had a nice visit and good food. It was nice to get to see her close to Christmas. She's usually pretty busy with other people and things around Christmas, so lunch was the perfect opportunity. <BR> <BR> After that I came home and, quite honestly, didn't do much of anything. I p... Wed, 17 Dec 2014 20:58:37 EST Finally! My laptop finally got to me today. I was almost afraid to go to the leasing office to pick it up, fearing it would be another pink plastic doll stroller. Happily it was not, it was a laptop. And the laptop works, which is almost surprising, considering the debacle of getting it here. <BR> <BR> And it was otherwise a pretty good day all around. Not exciting, but good. After I woke up I went and got the laptop, then brought it upstairs and started getting it set up. I futzed with it til ... Tue, 16 Dec 2014 21:04:52 EST Where did this day go?? I'm sitting down to write my blog... and wondering what I did all day! I felt like I kept busy most of the day, but looking back, I'm not sure what I was busy at. <BR> <BR> I woke up at my normal time and got up. I played online for a few minutes, then dh surprised me by waking up extra early. So after he got up, we just hung out for a little while. Then I got an email that the laptop bag {for the laptop I still have not received...} was ready for pick up at the store. So we got dressed... Mon, 15 Dec 2014 20:55:14 EST Feeling more like myself today... Getting myself out of bed this morning was a bear. I had trouble falling asleep again last night, and was up much later than I had hoped. I woke up just a few minutes before my alarm went off and figured I might as well get up, but man I was sad about it. For just a moment I considered cancelling my walk with The Buddy and going back to sleep, but then I realized I hadn't seen her in 2 weeks and didn't want to wait another week before we got to hang out and walk again. So I drug myself ou... Sun, 14 Dec 2014 20:41:37 EST 14 years of marriage to the love of my life... Today was mine & dh's 14 year wedding anniversary. Seems completely insane to me that it has been 14 years! <BR> <BR> So last night I some wine. Possibly a little too much wine, but no harm came of it. I felt less crappy, and I was just at home on the couch chatting with a friend online and visiting with dh. I think the only negative effect was that I ended up staying up until 2 am chatting at dh. I say "at" instead of "with" because I was doing 90% of the talking. But I was glad I was... Sat, 13 Dec 2014 21:39:24 EST Exercise helped... I woke up this morning still feeling pretty yucky. I was up later than normal last night, so I"m sure that was part of it. I sat around for a while before deciding to go to the library. I needed to return some stuff and pick some stuff up, and I figured I'd go do it by myself this morning to help pass the day. <BR> <BR> I got home and sat for a bit, and pretty quickly got bored and restless. Despite being bored and restless, nothing sounded appealing to do. I have projects I could have ... Fri, 12 Dec 2014 21:00:35 EST Apathy stinks... Does anyone else ever have those days where they just don't care? That has been me today. I just plain didn't want to be hungry, or crave things, or any of it. Therefore, it was not a good day, health wise. <BR> <BR> It was a good day in general I guess. Kinda boring, mostly because I didn't really have any interest in doing anything. I talked to friends and read a little bit, then we went grocery shopping. Nothing exciting about the grocery shopping, just in and out quickly. <BR> <B... Thu, 11 Dec 2014 21:02:55 EST