CATHYHASSPARK's SparkPeople Blog CATHYHASSPARK's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community My Journey so far I m doing well and feeling better than I have in a long time. Two months ago being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes was a huge wake up call for me. <BR> <BR> I am down 30 lbs, and my main exercise is walking and I am getting better at it, some days I have pain some days I do not. This is a whole new chapter of life for me, because now there is no option I have to get healthy, it is not a " I will work on this tomorrow" mentality anymore, it is " I am working on this every day!" <BR> <... Sun, 12 Apr 2015 12:14:04 EST New Life, New Me This past month was hard, learning I had type 2 Diabetes was overwhelming and frightening. This month I am being pro active to kick this disease into remission! I met with my Diabetic Educator yesterday, she gave me some good tools and things to work on to get to where I want to be. I am down 23 lbs total, 8 lbs since I heard about the diagnosis. I am so grateful for the doctors and resources I have. I am happy to have a husband who is there supporting me all the way and want to get him... Sat, 7 Mar 2015 15:05:06 EST Another dose of reality Well when I said I needed to change up my lifestyle , this week certainly proved that. This week I was diagnosed with diabetes 2. I felt very emotional and overwhelmed, in fact it was my worst fear come true when it came to my health. <BR> <BR> I started changing that day, I am following a low carb diet, and doing what the dr. says. I am working on my exercise and doing my best. I have gotten support from many people and in a way instead of this being one of my worst fears in a way it ... Sat, 14 Feb 2015 11:10:57 EST Jan. 17- Every day matters I am down .8 lbs today and I have been consistant the past three weeks . I am moving forward with the changes I want to make in my life. <BR> <BR> This week I implemented lemon water and discovered I love it! I have read the benefits of lemon water and I am feeling good about that. <BR> <BR> I am happy no matter what weight I am, I am fantastic, I am a big person but that can change but inside I am awesome and incredible. That is the first time I was able to say those words out loud. ... Sat, 17 Jan 2015 12:41:30 EST Jan. 11 I am ready for change After unloading a lot of "Baggage" last week , I faced some harsh realities. Main point is I am ready to make some changes , I cannot change people such as my husband but I can change myself and it is working even the little steps I took this week. <BR> <BR> A change this week was , I was going to be more firm about our finances, I am the main financial supporter until my husband goes from a part time job to a full time job. I stood my ground when it came to spending , if I am paying fo... Sun, 11 Jan 2015 09:57:24 EST Starting Over part two I completed my first week, and I am down four pounds!! I faced some good reality this week, <BR> <BR> 1. I need to step it up and make changes in areas in my life not only weight but my home life and personal life and work life. <BR> <BR> 2. I need to stop stressing about things I cannot control but focus on myself and my health because I can change that. <BR> <BR> 3 Stop trying to help everyone and make them comfortable where I am so uncomfortable, let people fix their own problems.... Sat, 3 Jan 2015 11:51:54 EST Starting over It has been a few months since I have blogged anything. I am back at a high weight, and I am depressed and working on stress management due to chronic stress what more is there? I know, I know I have heard it all before if I exercise that will help my stress but to get to that point to keep the commitment to exercise is what I am having a hard time with. I am not making excuses I did this to myself, I know circumstances in my life are hard right now, but I cannot make those circumstances ... Mon, 29 Dec 2014 17:33:03 EST I am in the top ten of the biggest loser challenge this week! After two weeks of gaining, I lost 3.5 last week, and I am in one of the top ten in the challenge this week for weight loss, I am excited about that, that is the first time in a long time this has happened. <BR> <BR> I feel my momentum coming back to me, I am still only focusing on food intake and making sure I get enough food and the right foods a day, I walk on a regular basis and as my WW leader says the movement will come. To only focus on one part of my life is not as overwhelming... Wed, 13 Aug 2014 10:47:19 EST Remembering words of wisdom This week I am recalling words of wisdom from my weight watcher leader. She encouraged me one day and said for now just focus on my food intake and getting in my points the movement will come later. Not that I do not m ove every day but I stress out because I feel I m not meeting the expectations people have, not what I have. She told me it was awhile before she started a regular exercise program and focused only on points and healthy food at the beginning and that is what I did this week.... Sat, 9 Aug 2014 10:49:04 EST Having a good week so far and not stressing I am having a hard time as of late, I was taking a medication that was causing weight gain which really affected my mood, either the weight gain or medication or a bit of both. I am starting to feel better, and this week I am primarly concentrating on food intake and making sure I get enough food a day. Someone here in Spark inspired me to start tracking my Weight Watcher points again and I have been doing that, so that is my focus this week. Fri, 8 Aug 2014 15:57:57 EST I am accountable No matter what I do I am accountable. If I lose weight , if I gain weight I am accountable for myself. right now I am taking a medication that causes weight gain this is hard for me , I feel I have to work that much harder to see any result. But you know what? I am not going to stress and knock myself out every day, this week I am going to do what I know how to do for myself. <BR> <BR> Alot of things are going on in my family right now and what do I want to do? I want to take care of... Wed, 30 Jul 2014 11:17:01 EST Breaking habits I am in a spark challenge that is realistic for me and the expectations are easier for me to meet at this current time. I am working on breaking the habit of not putting myself first and being so busy helping other people I am forgetting about me, and there are times I need to let people do stuff for themselves and not help them! <BR> <BR> Yesterday I saw my nutritionist, and she helped me realize I am ready to take that step and get back on track to good health. <BR> <BR> I saw my doctor ... Sat, 19 Jul 2014 11:21:04 EST im ok Hi friends, <BR> I am doing better today. I thank you for your love and support. I went to church by myself today. and you know sometimes that is just the best thing to do. I realized how I need to do what I need to do, and just let God take care of my husband. I am grateful he is working and going to school, but as for him looking for a full time job, I will pray Gods best and that He will work on my husband, I need to do only what I can do and that is take care of myself. Sun, 29 Jun 2014 20:44:12 EST Depressed and feeling overwhelmed I am not in a good mood today my friends. my health and weight are so much on my mind and I feel overwhelmed. <BR> <BR> I know I am doing this again to me, I am taking care of other people , I am not taking care of m yself, my husband is my first priority , things need to change I need to be first priority of myself, I feel burnt out, and that I give and give and give, and I am feeling miserable. <BR> <BR> I am tired of being in pain, I am tired of being stressed out when I go to the doc... Sat, 28 Jun 2014 16:23:06 EST day two of hundred days of water I got in five glasses yesterday which is a good start I am off to an even better start today Fri, 23 May 2014 11:08:39 EST Day 1 of a hundred days of water I am starting a hundred day challenge I have never done one. I am starting out with water, eight cups of water every day for a hundred days, a small start but its a good one for me. so heres to drinking water!!! <em>194</em> Thu, 22 May 2014 09:43:07 EST Opening up Negative or positive, I am learning how to express my emotions. I am one who supresses my feelings way down inside until I eventually explode. <BR> <BR> Why do I do this? I think back growing up in my household, expressing negative emotions was not encouraged in our family. When I would start to cry, I would hear something like this: " If you cry I will give you something to cry about." Sound familar to anyone else? I know I cannot be alone in this!! <BR> <BR> Instead of asking me why... Wed, 30 Apr 2014 11:26:14 EST Things I need to Learn I have been battling with weight ever since I was a child. Here I am 48 years old and I still have so much to learn. The lesson I want to learn now, is while I am on this weight loss journey how to prevent the weight from coming back. That is why I keep coming back to Sparkpeople, it has so many resources and I have the best support here. So how can I prevent this from happening, I seriously do not think I could have prevented this years ago because I did not have the proper way to be tau... Thu, 24 Apr 2014 15:33:15 EST Im still here! I am still here, and trying to do what is best for me. I seriously want to get it in my head that I do not need to pay money for a program , on what I can find here!! I am improving though so that is the main thing. I am getting better at working out, but there are times I overdo and it takes a while to recover so everything in moderation that includes excercise! Wed, 23 Apr 2014 11:13:47 EST Update on me I have not written here in awhile, I have a blog that I do try to write in once a week but I have been going through some changes in my life, some good changes. <BR> <BR> Back in Sept. I got very sick , and I had blood tests they could not find anything wrong with me, finally after visiting my primary doctor, she had some more tests done on me, and all my levels were way off , my thyroid was off big time, my liver enzymes were up, my white blood cell count was high, it seemed like I was just... Sat, 9 Nov 2013 11:07:45 EST Goals for this week The trials of life just do not seem to end, I will not get into the drama but my point here is, I need to take care of myself, as hard as that is for me right now, I do not want to go back to the way I was, and forgetting myself again, and stressing out about things I cannot control. <BR> <BR> My goals: <BR> <BR> Eat breakfast <BR> <BR> Track my calories <BR> <BR> Excercise more burn at least 1,000 calories a week minimum <BR> <BR> Keep coming here for support and Motivation <BR> <BR... Fri, 30 Aug 2013 10:39:37 EST Sorry been MIA LIfe has been busy and a lot of changes in my life, I started school this week so that gave my full attention it is all so different I haven't been in school in years, but made it through the week and love it , also just ma king things so there is not any added stress to my life making things for convient for myself , this week I worked on eating salad, not just salad but making different salad <BR> <BR> I made an Asian slaw with pork very good! anyways, Im here and still doing fine j... Sat, 27 Jul 2013 08:08:52 EST My 5% Summer Challenge commitment I did a spring challenge and achieved my 5% so now for another one just to keep me going! <BR> <BR> <BR> My goal is to keep learning something new about myself and my weight loss journey and work on it every week and to keep getting more and more mobile , and realize th is is not about perfection and not to be hard on myself when sometimes things dont work out but to keep on keeping on! Mon, 15 Jul 2013 10:39:22 EST Celebrating me today Today is my birthday . I am 48 years young , reflecting today of the blessings I have <BR> <BR> I have an awesome husband even th ough the last four years was so hard being out of work he never stopped looking for a job and is going to school to get his degree, and even now employed it is not the job he wants but he is a diligent hard worker and goes to work every single day and gives it his all. <BR> <BR> <BR> I am getting my health back, my goal this week is to use those stairs! S... Tue, 9 Jul 2013 11:08:25 EST I made it through the fourth of July! I did pretty well yesterday , I did a cardio / toning work out for forty five minutes in the morning, <BR> <BR> I drank my water and probably extra liquid, <BR> <BR> At the family bbq I had turky meatballs, some of my husbands potatoe salad, some vegies and fruit, I stayed away from the food table after that , and did not go near the cakes and brownies , I stayed in my chair that was not near the food and talked with my family and enjoyed my time <BR> <BR> Tired today but its friday ,... Fri, 5 Jul 2013 10:17:59 EST Pre July 4th Living LIfe I havent been able to blog the past few days, with school orientation for the next three weeks actually completed all the assignments for week two yesterday , my plan is to stay on top of the assignments so I can free up my time to work out, sleep, etc, along with working full time. <BR> <BR> I am learning how to space out my school work so I am not in front of the computer for hours , and pretty much limiting time on the computer all together , too much computer is hard on the eyes! <BR>... Wed, 3 Jul 2013 10:11:55 EST Taking care of myself Went to my WW meeting yesterday I am down 3.4 lbs <BR> <BR> My journey this week will be to reach my 5% weight gone goal, only have .4 lbs to go~ <BR> <BR> This week I am going to: <BR> <BR> Take more responsibility on healthy cooking at home, my husband does most of the cooking and he does a great job and cooks healthy meals I just know I can be more of a help to him in the kitchen. <BR> <BR> We have a fourth of July bbq , I am going to be very mindful what is on my plate and enjoy... Sun, 30 Jun 2013 09:21:42 EST So Ready for the weekend This weekend my husband works I am going to have a weekend of peace and quiet and just lay low this weekend, not feeling so good today , I think because of a stressful week at work <BR> <BR> Yesterday though I did great, I was ready if that one co worker came at me , I was so ready just to "roar" back , I am so done putting up with her crap!! <BR> <BR> She is having a power trip she has never been in management before , but she doesnt know her b oundries , her work duties do not in... Fri, 28 Jun 2013 10:13:48 EST Be BOLD!! And be STRONG!! As Capt. Jean Luc Picard would always say : "Make it so!" <BR> <BR> Feeling strong today , reflecting yesterday was a good thing I will do that more often , went to my bible study group last night, funny thing is my husband and I are the youngest people there , we get new people and we see the gray hair at first I say "Crap another old person!!!" <BR> <BR> but you know listening to their stories is just fascinating some of them can write a book on things they have been through even h... Thu, 27 Jun 2013 10:12:04 EST Breathe and Reflect Okay , before I came into the work place , I went to a meditation room and just sat and breathed and prayed and meditated, working for Providence it is nice to have either a chapel or meditation room to go too it really has helped. <BR> <BR> As advised by my awesome sparkfriend , JAMIELOGICAL I am reflecting today the things I have accomplished and done for myself and celebrate those today . So thank you Jamie for bringing that to my attention ( I do listen sometimes!!) <BR> <BR> I sur... Wed, 26 Jun 2013 10:30:19 EST Ready to face today! Yesterday I just needed to be home more so got off work early , just needed that mental health day still have a difficult time with my work team , and it doesnt happen every day thank God but when stuff hits the fan it really hits the fan!! <BR> <BR> I went home started my orientation workshop for school , its three weeks long , they do that to weed out the people who are not serious about going back to school my advisor has no doubt I am su pposed to be there made me feel good. ... Tue, 25 Jun 2013 10:42:24 EST Monday Monday! Hard to get moving this morning , still feel the effects from my hike even in my ab muscles! <BR> <BR> Im up and moving though , today is Orientation for my school , feeling some stress and anxiety today not sure what is causing it, probably the school thing because its new and unknown to me , but the anxiety doesnt stay , God is my strength and nothing is impossible for Him . <BR> <BR> Short blog this morning, h ave a good day friends Mon, 24 Jun 2013 10:14:42 EST Sunday resting up I had a little gain this week but its alright just a .4 nothing really to s tress about, <BR> <BR> I went on a hike yesterday very challenging for me I remembered how much I love being outdoors and looking at nature and being in fresh air, I am a little sore today , but a good type of sore it shows I have been doing something so just going to rest today and keep working on that on the weekends husband does not work we will start going on hiking trips again <BR> <BR> <BR> We to... Sun, 23 Jun 2013 08:55:42 EST Follow up Dr appt today Went to my dr today she is very happy with my progress my thyroid levels are getting back to normal just a little bit more meds and I should be good <BR> <BR> She was happy with me being down in weight, and I am back at my WW meetings, and encouraged me to get my fruit and vegies in every day , so will be working on that been enjoying salads this week very much so that helps, <BR> <BR> Talked to her about my sudden anxiety and stress I have been going through ended up crying li... Fri, 21 Jun 2013 14:30:37 EST Thursday today is my Friday! I have tommorow off, Dr follow up appt in the morning but have the day off , looking forward to it. <BR> <BR> I need a day off and a break , my team I work with they are good people , some of them though just like to be petty about every little thing , they arent really "Think outside the box" nor a "Respect other peoples teaching styles" kind of thing <BR> <BR> Thing is all the people on my team except for one who is older than I am are in their 20's and really have no clue what Earl... Thu, 20 Jun 2013 10:39:53 EST Trust Trust that is a word that sticks out in my mind today , it takes faith to trust , <BR> <BR> I had to really learn how to trust my husband to let him follow up on things , eg getting our car air conditioner repaired as much as I wanted to take over , I let him handle it and trusted him to deal with the mechanics how he saw fit , and it turned out fine not a disaster, <BR> <BR> Not that he could not have followed through I just have a knack to not let mechanics or anyone in that na... Wed, 19 Jun 2013 10:12:51 EST Power Tuesday!!!! 6/18 Had a beautiful morning walk on the way to work this morning , well I walk every morning but today I just took my time and breathed in the morning air , its a good time for me to pray and meditate as I walk , <BR> <BR> New changes coming in my life , starting orientation for school next monday I am looking forward to it , going back to school really was not in my plan on what I wanted to do really but in order for me to keep moving forward in my job , a degree is now neccessary , so I... Tue, 18 Jun 2013 10:42:52 EST Monday 6-17 It is going to be a Power Week!! I am in Weight Watchers, my meeting was about the Power foods , I know what they are , but learning on why they are important , so did grocery shopping , I am ready for this week <BR> <BR> I am focusing on eating the right kinds of foods, not just eating to stay on plan but really know what it is I am eating, and I want to cook more at home not go out so much , then I really know what is in my food. <BR> <BR> I got a thirty min lower body and ab toning in early this morning ! I w... Mon, 17 Jun 2013 10:44:23 EST Nice Peaceful Day Interesting weekend,, <BR> <BR> Saturday , it was nice sunny , did well at weigh in , down 1.8 hooray, worked in our church food pantry bagging up produce for people we served 58 families, God bless them all. <BR> Then I was looking forward to having lunch with my parents and my husband at Sweet Tomatoes, well,, I know I am changing from within and that is also having my own identity who I am and what I want and what my life truly is. <BR> <BR> I was so looking forward to seeing m... Sun, 16 Jun 2013 18:50:28 EST Sunny Saturday! After three weeks really pinpointing my emotional eating and how to deal with it, key phrase I was ready to face that problem head on and deal with it and change. because I keep doing the same patterns I get the same result , then I get miserable , eat some more , gain some more , start getting frustrated and wanting to quit whatever program I am with . which present is here and Weight Watchers. <BR> <BR> Anyways, went to my meeting this morning , after three weeks of emotion, and fun... Sat, 15 Jun 2013 11:50:23 EST I am grateful today for.......... I am feeling joyful , loved and thankful today . <BR> <BR> I was in a funk this week or so I thought , Im pretty sure it was a funk but just a little funk compared to some friends of mine, <BR> <BR> One friend put her back out by doing a simple thing reaching towards the floor for a roll of toilet paper, I put my hip out once and that was very painful!! So she is in pain <BR> <BR> another friend , her and her husband just downsized and moved , for financial reasons, and boom h... Fri, 14 Jun 2013 10:02:02 EST Im feeling good today This is week two of conqeuring a long time habit of making excuses and emotional eating, <BR> <BR> Along with that just finding things that work for me , this journey im on I decided is not going to add more stress to my life, not focus on what im not doing , but more what I am doing to help myself. <BR> <BR> Last night I got into my boss' car after a staff meeting as she was giving me a ride home , she is like five foot three or something so a small car she has , nice one but small,... Thu, 13 Jun 2013 10:31:28 EST Weds Take a step back and BREATHE Ok I did not post yesterday , why oh why didnt I post ? Was I focused , well I was focused the best way i could be focused <BR> <BR> I would like to go one week without stress from my job, from my husband or just life , wouldnt that be nice? <BR> <BR> Thing is stress is a part of life, its up to me how I handle myself, I was stressed about something yesterday , and guess what it was nothing I could truly control , I mean I did what I could but if theres an asset thats not ther... Wed, 12 Jun 2013 10:32:14 EST Monday - this week is mindful food choices This week I am working on mindful food choices, I usually plan a whole day ahead but for myself I am thinking , I just need to plan one meal at a time , today I planned my breakfast, lunch, and snacks, and I will plan dinner when I get home , I have to focus on my work day and not worry about dinner, <BR> <BR> My husband likes to ask me at six am what is for dinner, and I am like I have no idea I am just working on breakfast and lunch !! <BR> <BR> So removing stress as well is part o... Mon, 10 Jun 2013 10:39:18 EST Making better choices, Yesterday was my weight watcher meeting, the scale there was not kind to me , well only up by .2 but that has been the pattern the past three weeks, up on the scale always by .2 <BR> <BR> I was discouraged yesterday , I m making changes even though the scale doesn't say so, my first reaction I wanted to just go home , hide and eat my bag of Cheetos , and fall asleep in a carb coma and watch Lifetime movies with a box of tissue and cry my heart out. <BR> <BR> I did not stay for ... Sun, 9 Jun 2013 09:09:32 EST Its Friday!!!!! Emotional Eating tracker Its Friday and I feel really good!! <BR> <BR> Going back what I did this week for myself, I identified when I started feeling anxiety or stress , what the cause and what the stressor was. <BR> <BR> second, was it something that I can control, I would say that 98 percent of my answers was an emphatic NO. So truth : I cant stress over what I cant control as husband always tells me . and that is becoming a reality . <BR> <BR> I had a list a very pro active list , no its not going fr... Fri, 7 Jun 2013 10:06:59 EST Thursday , Emotional eating journal/blog wow Im making it!! Its Thursday , wow , I mean WOW!! <BR> <BR> Yesterday was plagued with anxiety and angst, not a good thing , well alot of it is fear in my heart which is not good either , anyone who read my blog over the past few years k nows what I am talking about . <BR> <BR> To bring new readers up to speed, my husband was unemployed almost four years, very hard time, okay okay thats past ,, but those anxious thoughts still linger in my mind , very hard , <BR> <BR> Thing is I know what is happenin... Thu, 6 Jun 2013 10:21:02 EST Weds Breaking through , a true test Mid week working on curbing my emotional eating. <BR> <BR> Last night was a true test, my husband told me something that triggered an anxiety attack and total fear, of course after the fact he is like dont start stressing now its not gonna happen things are gonna be okay!!! Im like then why even tell me ?? Im glad he did its just a fear and anxiety of mi ne I am dealing with Im not going to get into it because its not even worth talking about , maybe later on if its applicable. ... Wed, 5 Jun 2013 10:15:27 EST Day 2: breaking through Emotional Eating Yesterday was actually a very good day , my main stress right now is work stress, which is a switch the past few years it was mostly home stress because of circumstance which was a real battle but that has improved and total turn around so now its just work stress <BR> <BR> Yesterday I just had that mindset i was not going to let stress or pettiness from co workers hinder my health goals , and I knew I had my list to fall back on .. <BR> <BR> I didnt need my list really , I had a coupl... Tue, 4 Jun 2013 10:22:48 EST Monday: Emotional Eating Goals I have some very wise friends, and one of them told me that my weight loss journey and learning new skills to help me is like the very small children I teach every day , I teach them a skill and over time they master it and ready for a new skill its how they develop. <BR> <BR> I am finding my healthy self again as it was hiding for four years , it is time to deal with my emotional eating, the last two weeks have not been kind and I blame no one , I am not even beating myself up because... Mon, 3 Jun 2013 10:45:57 EST