CAROLINAKIWI's SparkPeople Blog CAROLINAKIWI's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community How Many Times How many times do I have to lose this same 49lbs before the idea sticks. I get sidetracked and the next thing you know I have put back on what I had lost. I really hope this will be the magic moment. Wed, 22 Oct 2014 15:51:56 EST Crazy end to year Christmas was great! Family over for dinner. Very enjoyable. Went to bed that night and everything changed! Sick all night. Was sure I had poisoned everyone who had been there. Next day more of the same and then it got to the point where my insides felt bruised. I thought, "This is what you get for the pumpkin pie, pig picking cake and second helping of mashed potatoes!! Finally by Friday I couldn't stand it anymore and went to the emergency room. After about 7 hours of tests and try... Thu, 2 Jan 2014 15:12:55 EST In Reverse Seem to have adopted an "I don't care " attitude. I guess the events of the last month have taken a toll. I really need to pull myself out of this slump!! Grieving has gone on long enough. Debbi wouldn't want me to torpedo everything I have achieved so far. She would be the first to say "enough!" <BR> Time to get out of reverse mode and move forward. I know I can do this! Mon, 2 Dec 2013 16:00:06 EST How far I have come The list of things I can do now that I couldn't do when I started this journey is too long to post here. The wonderful part of this journey is the list of things I can't do is now very, very short!!!!!!!!! Mon, 16 Sep 2013 07:48:09 EST Looking forward to the future. My main goal is still to reach 155lbs. That will enable me to become a KOPS member which is another long term goal. I am greedy for all the wonderful things God has given me. I want to see the fifth generation of my family. The further along I go on this journey the more I see things I will be able to do that weren't possible during my "old" life. Mon, 26 Aug 2013 07:53:44 EST Now listen up!! Okay. You really enjoyed hearing from your customers that hadn't seen you in a while that they were impressed with your weight loss. Now you need to remember that feeling every time you are tempted to have an evening like your last two. You did okay until after dinner. Then you decided to just let go and eat what you wanted. Let's face it - you weren't hungry - just going back to some old bad habits! You have come too far and accomplished to0 much to just turn your back on your new way o... Sat, 20 Jul 2013 14:32:16 EST Amazing difference When I think about where I am now verses where I was when I started this journey, I am amazed at how much easier it is just to live my life. I no longer get out of breath when I walk any distance. I can go up and down stairs without huffing and puffing too much. I don't have to stop halfway up just to catch my breath. I work in the yard now and love it - before it was just a chore I dreaded because I knew how bad I was going to feel afterwards. Everything I do now is relatively easy. Wh... Sat, 13 Jul 2013 19:43:09 EST Dear Me: Dear Me: <BR> Okay - so you still snack at night and probably go over your daily calorie count by doing so, but look how far you have come!! You go to Curves three times a week without fail and sure you don't always walk four times a week but you do get in at least two a week. You help set up church every Sunday morning instead of sleeping in. Those cases are heavy and you certainly get your exercise moving them around! You fit in clothes that have been waiting for you for a very l -o... Fri, 31 May 2013 07:39:29 EST My achievements Now that I am halfway to goal I can see the improvements over when I started this journey. When I started, I couldn't walk very far without hurting. Now i walk almost a mile and a half three times a week. When I started, i needed help getting up off my couch and had to rock back and forth to get up off a chair. I have no problems getting up and down anymore - what a wonderful sense of freedom. I no longer have to check out where I am going to eat to see if they have chairs I will fit in.... Sun, 14 Apr 2013 19:05:24 EST Doing Something I Fear This was a tough project because I am game for just about anything. The biggest fear I have is failing in my weight loss journey and that is definitely not something I am going to do. I have come too far and worked too hard to let it all slip away. So, I guess you could say, I flunked today's challenge!!! Sat, 16 Mar 2013 19:25:01 EST Excuses, excuses, excuses! I feel like sleeping in. Okay, go for it but you had better find some time later in the day to get that walk in or go to Curves because if you don't, you know how you are going to feel. Sometimes, I think you deliberately try to fail so you can convince yourself you don't deserve to feel good. Well, you can take this to the bank - you ARE special and you deserve every good thing that life can give you!! And you need to be healthy to enjoy them!!!!!!!!!! Wed, 13 Mar 2013 21:03:50 EST Tomorrow's menu Breakfast: <BR> Coffee Black <BR> Special K Cereal with 2% milk and a large banana <BR> 8oz orange juice <BR> Lunch: <BR> 2 cups of my wonderful chili <BR> salt free, fat free pretzels <BR> Dinner: <BR> Baked chicken breast <BR> Creamed spinach <BR> Baked Yukon Gold Potato <BR> Snacks: <BR> Raisins <BR> Clementines <BR> <BR> Now, if nothing happens to change my schedule, I have everything pretty well planned but we all know the best laid plans of mice and men................. Tue, 12 Mar 2013 22:14:43 EST Snack time I am afraid I am not a clock person. I found I was starving by the time the clock said it was time for the snack. And naturally, I overdid it big time!! I do much better when I snack when the urge hits and I do try to control how many "hits" I experience. Oh, well, worth a try. Thu, 7 Mar 2013 20:58:04 EST Listening to those signals For the most part, listening to the hunger signals was easy. The hard part was ridding myself of the habit of reaching for snacks when I am working at the computer. I was fairly successful. I still don't trust myself not to weigh and measure because my eyes very often lie to me. Better to be safe than sorry. Wed, 6 Mar 2013 19:51:01 EST The way I were I have been thinking about the things I can do now that I couldn't do when I first started this journey. <BR> At the beginning of this I could not walk into a restaurant or fast food place without seeing if they had tables instead of booths because I could not fit into a booth comfortably. <BR> I had to make sure their bathroom had a handicap stall because I was too big for the regular stalls. Embarassing!!! <BR> When I flew to see my daughter, I had to get a seat belt extender and was s... Mon, 18 Feb 2013 08:33:51 EST Breaking down goals Of course, the big goal is to lose down to 155. I am halfway there! That goal is also part of becoming a KOPS. That is TOPS for keeping pounds off sensibly. The next goal will help me get there. I want to have six weeks without a gain. At the end of that six weeks I will buy myself a new article of clothing. That is a promise to myself. So far, I have gone 4 weeks without a gain. Only two to go, so I know it is possible and I am already thinking about what I am going to buy. Tue, 5 Feb 2013 07:00:09 EST Conversation with Myself Myself: I don't know why I keep doing it to myself. I go along great - am at the halfway mark to my goal - blow it all for no reason! <BR> <BR> Me: You haven't blown it all. It is a temporary setback. <BR> <BR> Myself: I know what I am supposed to do and then I do something stupid like I did tonight - went to the store and consciously bought Little Debbie Nutty Bars and a box of cookies and Debbi cakes. I have already downed part of the cookies and two servings of Little Debbie Nutty ... Tue, 29 Jan 2013 20:24:50 EST Listening to internal signals Well, I did reasonably well with the challenge to listen to internal signals for when to eat. I still have some problems with the snacking because it is almost like a habit. It is a habit I need to break. Snacks are good for getting you through until mealtime but not good as a way to pass time in between. I use to smoke for years and reaching for a snack is almost as bad as reaching for a cigarette. It is habit. I am going to work really hard on this. Thu, 17 Jan 2013 20:51:47 EST excuse buster Making myself walk in the morning is one of my problems. I make excuses like "I'm tired and need more sleep" or "I just don't want to". When it happens again I will be ready with "If you are still tired afterward, you will have time to lay down for a few more minutes." or " you know you enjoy the walk it is just a matter of getting started. If you walk to the corner and still feel that way then you can come back home." I know once I am out there I am always glad I made the effort. Wed, 2 Jan 2013 16:32:07 EST Things I am Proud of This is my third go round with SP and this time it is going to stick. I am Proud of the fact I have lost 60lbs. I am proud that I walk 4 mornings a week. I am proud that I passed up an absolutely mine field of desserts today at the lodge Christmas party. Sun, 16 Dec 2012 21:13:42 EST A step back Well, had a step back tonight - cookies. Will work extra hard tomorrow. I have been watching the concert for Sandy relief and was finally able to see one of my favorite bands - Pink Floyd - awesome!!!! <BR> I know this short step back will mean that I am going to take giant steps forward to make up for it. I am keeping on keeping on!!! Wed, 12 Dec 2012 21:22:32 EST Tomorrow's meals. For breakfast: <BR> Kashi Go Lean Crunch cereal <BR> Milk <BR> Banana <BR> Lunch: <BR> Chicken Vegetable Rotini soup <BR> Mini Saltines <BR> Clementine <BR> Dinner: <BR> Taco Salad made with chicken breast,refried beans,romaine,grape tomatoes and salsa <BR> Snacks: <BR> Fat free pretzels <BR> Clementines <BR> Grapes Tue, 4 Dec 2012 19:41:11 EST Thanksgiving Well, the good news is I did get my walk in this morning. The bad news is I did my typical overeating at the Thanksgiving dinner table. The good news is I don't feel as bad about it as I thought I would because I know I will be right back on track tomorrow starting with my workout at Curves tomorrow at 6:00 am. I gave away the pies so I won't be tempted by them. It was an enjoyable day with my children and grandchildren. Thu, 22 Nov 2012 22:02:05 EST My "All or nothing" moment This past week I had dinner out with my granddaughter and thought I had done really well but when I entered everything on my food tracker I had gone over. Well, there was this gorgeous looking eclair cake sitting in my refrigerator and I decided "Why not?" Not only did I have a piece of that cake but I had two more after that!!!! Stupid! <BR> Stupid! Stupid! I felt bad afterward and determined not to let it get the best of me. I am happy to say, that the little talk I had with myself has ... Sat, 27 Oct 2012 20:39:56 EST Signs that don't involve the scale I feel more energetic. I don't have to beat myself up to get started walking in the morning. I can walk further than I dreamed. If I made it two blocks before it was a miracle and the muscles in my legs burned. Now I can walk over a mile and hardly feel it. A whole new life is opening up. Mon, 22 Oct 2012 20:13:52 EST 10 years from now I will be 80 years young. I will still be active and looking forward to what each day brings. I will have great great grandchildren to watch grow. I will look back at myself ten years earlier (now) and know that I had taken the right steps to get to this wonderful age. I will be blogging my thanks to Spark People and Spark Coach!!! <em>390</em> Fri, 19 Oct 2012 20:41:09 EST Love that scale!!!!!!!!!! Another 1.6lbs gone!!! I am actually looking forward to my weekly weigh-in. Who would have thought?! Mon, 15 Oct 2012 22:04:16 EST Motivated! Weighed in at TOPS today. Another 3lbs gone!!!! Talk about a great incentive! Spark Coach is really helping me stay with it. I love the accountability. Mon, 24 Sep 2012 20:17:52 EST Wonderful Start to the Day I had my measurements done at Curves this morning. Since last month I have lost a total of nine and one half inches and 11.6lbs!! Talk about a great start!!!!!!!!!!!! The other ladies there asked me how I did it and of course my answer was Spark People!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fri, 21 Sep 2012 21:33:17 EST Sleep Journal This will take the place of a journal. Last night I went to bed about 10:00pm and woke up for a bathroom call about 1:00 am. Up again about 4:00 for the bathroom. I am able to go right back to sleep and sleep soundly. Got up at 5:oo am and got ready to go to Curves. I did lay down for about 15 minutes before leaving for Curves. <BR> September 20 <BR> Slept well last night. Only got up once. <BR> September 21 <BR> Slept soundly but still had to get up twice during the night. <BR> September... Wed, 19 Sep 2012 20:15:41 EST Motivation I am tired of being restricted in what I can do. Tired of having to look for the table at the restaurant that has the most space between the chair and the table. Tired of being out of breath when I go up and down stairs. Tired of not having the strength to do things I use to do easily. Mon, 10 Sep 2012 20:26:09 EST Motivation I am tired of being restricted in what I can do. Tired of having to look for the table at the restaurant that has the most space between the chair and the table. Tired of being out of breath when I go up and down stairs. Tired of not having the strength to do things I use to do easily. Mon, 10 Sep 2012 20:26:09 EST excuses I guess the most common one is that I just don't feel like exercising. I generally force myself to do it and am usually glad I did. Sun, 2 Sep 2012 21:06:48 EST Improvements I am getting there slow but sure. It is a lot easier to get up early enough to walk on the days I don't go to Curves. It seems to be easier to say "no" to myself when I am tempted to eat something I know will kill my progress. Fri, 31 Aug 2012 21:19:01 EST My quick and easy breakfast I make an omelet with egg beaters, pepperjack cheese and no salt seasoning. Toast 2 eggo waffles. Fold the omelet into quarters and put on the waffles. Instant satisfying breakfast. Uusually have with glass of milk. Sat, 25 Aug 2012 22:17:29 EST Trying!! If I could keep from self-destructing I would be doing great!!! I am going to stop letting things get in my way. My daughter is stage 4 cancer and if she can fight as hard as she is fighting I guess I can do the same. She is a wonder!!! She has not given up and neither will I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <BR> Sun, 29 Apr 2012 13:18:59 EST back with it I know you all are tired of hearing "Here I go again" but------ <BR> I really need to do this. I did it before and let life get in the way but I am really serious about it this time. Tue, 21 Feb 2012 16:18:14 EST No more seesaw!!!! Back again seems to be my theme but that is going to change this time. I am starting the first day of the rest of my life and I am going to make the changes I need to be successful in this journey. Sun, 14 Aug 2011 08:29:35 EST back again lost weight last week. need to keep this going. gave a challenge to my tops group to see if we can hit 100% weight loss. hope it works. i just have to remind myself that i am a role model. that seems strange to say. Tue, 5 Jun 2007 10:56:34 EST slipping i have been so bad the last two days. i can't stand success. i have got to get back with it. i have come too far to give up on myself now. Thu, 22 Feb 2007 10:28:04 EST doing better i am back to being good. i am looking forward to the next 20 lbs goal which is will also be 100lbs gone. Thu, 11 Jan 2007 20:24:10 EST good day was really good today. hope it shows on the scales tomorrow when i weigh in at tops. Sun, 17 Dec 2006 22:05:37 EST doing better today have kept the sodium in check. was bad yesterday. Thu, 14 Dec 2006 20:34:02 EST festival of lights went to mike's farm and took the hayride for the festival of lights. it was awesome!!!!!! Tue, 12 Dec 2006 21:35:30 EST time to make yule logs i can't believe it is time to do yule logs again. i love this time of year. Thu, 7 Dec 2006 19:16:43 EST basket class have a basket class today. looking forward to it. classes have been on the back burner lately. this is a treat for me. Sat, 2 Dec 2006 08:31:57 EST christmas decorating party we decorate the lodge tonight. have to help prepare food for everyone. Fri, 1 Dec 2006 14:15:14 EST funeral home had to go to mr. charley's wake. so sad. i will really miss him. Thu, 30 Nov 2006 21:02:05 EST bad was truely bad yesterday. i binged on leftovers from thanksgiving. thank goodness they are all gone. have to do better. i am almost to the eighty pound mark and i don't want to start going backwards. Tue, 28 Nov 2006 10:19:27 EST snacks trying to cut down on afternoon snacks Sat, 18 Nov 2006 10:20:28 EST