CARLIASTAR85's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=CARLIASTAR85 CARLIASTAR85's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ What ails ya? A mini challenge as part of the RHHB Done girl team challenge! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4984312 OK. So the gauntlet was set by Xphoenix to take stock of ‘What Ails Ya’ as part of the RHHB challenge. <BR> <BR> So. That’s what this blog is about. First of all… I’m just going to blurt out everything that’s in my head and then try to make sense of it and turn these crazy ramblings into a plan of sorts. So here goes! <BR> <BR> For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been job hunting like mad. Applying/attending interviews/more applying… to no avail. My problem is, without working, I really feel... Tue, 24 Jul 2012 05:47:18 EST Flirting with a caveman... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4968022 Well, not so much the caveman... but his diet. <BR> <BR> I've been reading STACKS on the paleolithic diet (where you go back to eating like Grok did) and I am finding so much balance and harmony in my reading and all of the foods/logic that aligns to my own. <BR> <BR> I am going to try the Paleo diet for 30 days. <BR> <BR> What do I have to lose? <BR> <BR> Just grains, legumes, sugars and processed oils from my diet. I can do that. I did most of that while we were on the road and my body... Fri, 13 Jul 2012 00:03:23 EST Red Hot Heartbreakers Mini Challenge 1: For the body I want... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4960022 In October 2011, I looked like this: <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/6/5/l650022840.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I've lost 9 kilos and regained 4kg back since then... my weight is a general rollercoaster ride thanks to the study I'm in for having had cervical and ovarian cancer.... So I learn to ride out the ups and downs. I know I can lose the weight - I've done it. I just have to wait for my body to adjust to the latest drugs before I can reassess if what I am doing for my body is r... Sun, 8 Jul 2012 02:13:09 EST Ridiculed on the beach - I will fight back! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4954031 This morning, I got up, threw on my work out gear and made my way to the beach. On the way, I noticed the gorgeous moon sinking over the horizon and thought this is going to be a great walk/run (aka day 3 of the c25k program). I was so wrong. <BR> <BR> I started my warm up as usual, bit of a speed walk along the beach, anticipating the first beep indicating I should run. It sounded, and I started. I got in 4 run/walk intervals and then I heard it. <BR> <BR> Now, I run with my ipod going, on... Tue, 3 Jul 2012 19:06:20 EST End of (financial) year reflections and New (financial) year resolutions! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4948378 Alrighty. <BR> <BR> I wrote myself a plan. I havent used it <em>198</em> . <BR> <BR> I realise that everytime I get some forward momentum... something, whether borne from self sabotage or some underlying contributing factor manages to upset my apple cart and I come crashing down. DOWN DOWN DOWN DOWN DOWN! Because.... I try to do too much at once and I know I'd make a terrible juggler, cos once one of the things I'm juggling falls, so too does everything else that I seem to have up in the a... Fri, 29 Jun 2012 23:36:09 EST The F word (I know there are many, but this is one in particular) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4937996 Yesterday, I walked along the beach with my head phones in, appreciating the scenery and scouting for good shells as I worked up my first sweat of the day and morning. <BR> <BR> Then, all of a sudden, Lily Allen's "The Fear" came on... and as I was singing along in my head (was walking too fast to actually get the words out!) I realised that I tend to let myself get taken over by the fear... <BR> <BR> The fear of success. <BR> <BR> The fear of failure. <BR> <BR> The fear of putting myself... Fri, 22 Jun 2012 17:13:59 EST The time is now http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4932355 I've been considering what I was going to write here, in this space, the next chance that I got.... and to be honest, I want to write everything that's happened in the last 5 or so weeks, but then, I dont want to share any of it at all. <BR> <BR> I've been sick. I've had issues with my family. I've had so much time on my hands since we've been back because I'm not working....and I'm so bored. I've also had some other body related stuff going on in this time as well. And the result is a gain... Mon, 18 Jun 2012 22:58:46 EST The greatest way to start the day! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4891681 When I wake up, the first thing I do (after silencing the alarm and before getting up to wee) is smile... it just seems to put me in the right frame of mind for the rest of the day! <BR> <BR> Then I get up, get ready and hit the road... this morning, I managed a 6k walk in 50 minutes - I was estatic! Then I came home and did some jumping jacks, lunges and squats. It was a good morning. <BR> <BR> I think my favourite part of getting that kind of sweat up, is getting in the shower and scrubb... Mon, 21 May 2012 16:41:40 EST No food rewards here, I'm no dog! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4883620 Yep. Today, while I was doing exam supervision, I nutted out my goals and a reward scheme... cos to buy that new amazing wardrobe at the end of my journey, I'm going to need some cash! <BR> <BR> So here's what I came up with: <BR> <BR> Daily Food & Exercise Goals: <BR> $1.50 for each day’s food planned & caloric value determined <BR> $0.50 per day for eating only what’s been planned <BR> $2 per day for not eating chocolate <BR> $2 per day for achieving 90 minutes exercise/activity <BR> $2 p... Wed, 16 May 2012 06:39:09 EST Who are you? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4863489 Just now, not even five minutes ago, I saw a girl in the mirror and I honestly, didn't know her... I stood there for a full heart beat, just oggling her. <BR> <BR> It's amazing when you notice the changes.... for me, my skin tone is better, my glasses fit better, my shoulders are smaller... yeah - all the small things you don't go looking for when you're looking into the mirror. They're the kind of changes that make me smile when I wake up in the morning, before I jump out of bed and strap o... Wed, 2 May 2012 17:53:32 EST Portion sizes and the hulking great blister... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4843259 Yep. Today, my focus is on my portion sizes. I have weighed each of my meals today, and have written down every morsel. Feeling awesome. I've reached my fruit servings for the day - I want to aim for minimial sugars after lunch... Just as a trial. <BR> <BR> Before going out to dinner with my partner last night, I went for a brisk walk with a friend. Yesterday, I walked just short of 10kms... by 250 meters! This morning, I was going to get up, but it was raining, so I stayed in bed a little w... Thu, 19 Apr 2012 21:43:03 EST Date Night! (My plan to make it through...) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4841919 Tonight is date night. And it's Ryan's choice of destination and activity. <BR> <BR> We're off to a mexican restaurant. Dinner, then a walk, then home to bed, cos it is afterall, a school night. <BR> <BR> So my plan is... A walk with my friend for at least an hour this afternoon before we head out to eat. Once we're there, order (we've eaten there before), ask for a water and a take away container. I intend to pack over half of my meal into the take away container when my meal arrives at th... Thu, 19 Apr 2012 01:18:17 EST Rain rain go away... I want to get up in the morning to walk! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4840422 This morning, I had a terrific walk - 5.5kms (including hills) in just under an hour. I was sweating and puffed and glowing! I came home and made some awesome oats with yoghurt and bananas and went to work (not the best first day back!) and came home to just chill... but then ended up doing day 1 of the 30 day shred. <BR> <BR> Wowsers. I felt every single move of that! <BR> <BR> My friend and I were meant to go walking at 5.30... but it rained. And it's continued to rain. And I want it to s... Wed, 18 Apr 2012 05:48:34 EST Time to move forward - a to do list! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4795782 Since my last post, I've been focusing on getting done what I can while we're on this road trip. I've upped the ante on the amount of physical activity that I do. I have reduced the amount of time that I sit (well, as much as I can considering our entire trip is based in a car....) by countering it with working standing up (any time spent on the computer, I stand...and yes, I do find myself being a little fidgety, standing on one leg (can only hope this is helping my balance!!) and the like. ... Mon, 19 Mar 2012 21:32:28 EST This morning while I was walking... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4785838 I had an epiphany of sorts. <BR> <BR> I realised that, for the first time in...ever, I actually feel as though I am LIVING my life... not just fantasising about the life that I could be living. <BR> <BR> It actually made me cry a little, which wasnt great, considering that I wear glasses and it was foggy as heck and it made my glasses fog as well! <BR> <BR> Anyways... <BR> <BR> Everything seems to be on track for me, for the most part. <BR> <BR> I am exercising again (it's a long story... Tue, 13 Mar 2012 15:42:32 EST The Power. Winning the unnamed battle... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4616754 I just ate a Cadbury Twirl Bar - it's just a regular chocolate bar. And I consciously made the decision to eat it. Just now. Yes, it's 9:30am... that's the only part that makes me feel like a rebel right now!! <BR> <BR> A month ago, I was desperate to erradicate such things from my diet. But the thing is... I was giving food a power. The power. The power to determine how I feel about a situation or myself and the power to deal with my feelings by eating. <BR> <BR> <BR> I think I give way t... Wed, 7 Dec 2011 17:53:25 EST Count down to the New Year and the new adventure! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4613663 I'm making pretty good time on my list of things to achieve before we set off. <BR> <BR> I have: <BR> - Put together a folder of workouts and updated my ipod <BR> - Got my new snorkel gear (prescription lenses!) <BR> - Pulled out all my favourite HFG mags to work on compiling quick, tasty, healthy meals using limited ingredients and cooking implements <BR> - Booked the ticket to Tassie (exciting!!) <BR> - Set a deadline to have the manual completed for my position <BR> <BR> I'm living ... Mon, 5 Dec 2011 17:20:42 EST Please sir, can I have some more? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4608220 Time. <BR> <BR> It's the one thing there is never enough of. <BR> <BR> If I had more time, I'd exercise longer. <BR> <BR> If I had more time, I'd get all my projects completed at work. <BR> <BR> If I had more time, I'd plan all my meals. <BR> <BR> If I had more time, I'd write a proper budget, meal ideas and an exercise plan for while we're on our roadtrip. <BR> <BR> I'm looking at my current time equation: <BR> <BR> 7 days x 8 hours (Sleeping) TOTAL: 56 Hours <BR> 5 days x 8.5 hours ... Thu, 1 Dec 2011 17:10:54 EST What's going on? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4604759 Yesterday was my partner's youngest sisters birthday. <BR> <BR> I made Holly a cookies and cream birthday cake (turned out pretty awesome really) and we all trooped out for dinner. <BR> <BR> I had zero appetite, and ordered what I thought was a small pizza, thought I would have a piece and then fob the rest off to the rest of our dinner party. It came out, and it was larger and I ate half, but then I sat there looking at it and felt physically ill. <BR> <BR> What's going on with me? Late... Tue, 29 Nov 2011 17:16:57 EST Going it alone http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4601596 I love the gym. No question about it. <BR> <BR> However. <BR> <BR> In exactly 27 days, my partner and I are setting off on our 5 month Roadtrip, as far around Australia as we can get in that time. <BR> <BR> So. I've decided that for the next 27 days, I will not renew my gym membership, but I'll start training my mind and body for a program of my own making. Which I can follow while we're away. <BR> <BR> Easy peasy. <BR> <BR> Now to get cranking. <BR> <BR> I'm going to raid the Spark... Sun, 27 Nov 2011 19:24:09 EST Surprise! *This is an overshare of very personal information* http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4587526 I woke up this morning, and found, my cycle has started. Wow. First one in like - 7 or so months. The weightloss must have triggered my body into actually doing what it is it is supposed to. <BR> <BR> I guess now I can finally understand WHY I've been craving - I've gone without before, NO issues, now...all I want is sugar and carbs...haha. So. I indulged. <BR> <BR> Smartly. <BR> <BR> And adjusted my day to make the most of what I was using my calories for, not just wasting them or anyth... Wed, 16 Nov 2011 18:15:36 EST Blurrrrrrrrrrrrrrred - auto focus engaging now http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4586013 Sometimes I think I talk myself into believing things that are not entirely true. <BR> <BR> For instance. I let myself dream up these wild things, make what I think is a concrete sort of plan to achieve such dream and then, hope it will all magically fall into place. <BR> <BR> I'm so deluded. Blurred. Out of focus. I need to take off my rose coloured glasses and face the cold hard facts. <BR> <BR> I entered a 30 day challenge and had some great results first up. Then slipped. Then slid. ... Tue, 15 Nov 2011 19:46:40 EST Time: Friend or Foe? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4581537 As some of you know, I just finished up my final assessment piece for the year. I felt good walking out of the exam, like I had done enough to pass (and really, that's all I wanted!) <BR> <BR> Now I have time to commit solely to getting focused on my weight loss goals and knowing that, I haven't really done so yet, and somewhere in my deeper subconscious, I've been... self sabotaging. No excuses. Really. But I strayed. <BR> <BR> Tomorrow, I head back into the gym, this afternoon heading to... Sat, 12 Nov 2011 22:45:58 EST Roadtrip! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4574004 I head off to do my exam early in the morning. <BR> <BR> I've packed some great snacks for the car (driving to Armidale alone, I'm going to have to do something to stay awake - and no, I dont mean eat!!) including cukes, oranges which I will quarter and thats it! I also have iced green tea and water. Should make it through no worries. <BR> <BR> I will have breakfast and lunch on the way - and I'm hoping for some kind of nice little cafe scenario to find something awesome within. Yes, I'm a... Tue, 8 Nov 2011 05:17:26 EST Something different http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4571160 Today I'm going to go for a pre-gym walk... <BR> <BR> So I better get up and get to it, there's 50 minutes until the gym opens, and by the time I get out of bed, get my gear on, brush hair and teeth and grab my ipod and towel, I should get down to the gym with 25 - 30 minutes to go for a walk before I head in and smash out some time on the x-trainer - sounds like a plan! <BR> <BR> Update on how it all went later! Sun, 6 Nov 2011 13:39:56 EST Yes, I made a chocolate cake. No, I will not be eating any of it... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4570565 I have got to be the greatest girlfriend. Ever. <BR> <BR> I made a fudgy chocolate cake, complete with a fudgy icing and I will not be partaking in eating the cake. I made it for the family - and they all appreciate that. <BR> <BR> It's day 6 of the 30 day challenge, and so far, I've managed to abstain from carbs, kept up my water habit (which, of all things, I find so easy to do... because I love water, always have), hit high calorie slaughtering targets at the gym and packed amazingly c... Sun, 6 Nov 2011 04:21:22 EST A healthy mind in a healthy body http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4568723 That was the school motto when I attended Tambo State School, a tiny school of around 80 students from pre-school to grade 10. <BR> <BR> It's funny how you remember things like that. It's been well over 10 years since I left there to head off to complete my senior certificate. <BR> <BR> But I got to be thinking this morning.... I always do things for my mind. I study. I get bored and change jobs, and then hope that I don't reach boredom again - well, I definitely don't want to get bored wi... Fri, 4 Nov 2011 18:41:30 EST The Throw Down http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4565451 I think it's incredibly interesting to see how your own journey can spark someone else's.... <BR> <BR> A friend of mine actually proposed a race/bet. Winner takes all. First one to drop 25kg. <BR> <BR> So it's on. Like donkey kong. And I intend to win. <BR> <BR> In other news, the original 30 day challenge is on day 3. And so far - feeling good! I walked with a friend yesterday, up and down hills, so I feel like, I had a break from the gym and I still worked hard. This arvo is back to the... Wed, 2 Nov 2011 18:16:58 EST Menu Planning - I need some advice! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4562494 Does anyone else struggle with weekly menu planning?? <BR> <BR> I really suck at it. <BR> <BR> Any tips?? <BR> <BR> I live with my partner at his parents house (yes, I know exactly how that sounds, I refuse to apologise, we have managed to save an absolute packet thanks to their generosity - all I had to do in return is some chores and cooking - easy done!) and it's really hard to work out a menu... <BR> <BR> So any advice would be awesome! Tue, 1 Nov 2011 05:21:04 EST 30 Day Challenge http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4561866 My gym is running a 30 day challenge, starting today. <BR> <BR> So, even though my next month looks like a nightmare, I'm hoping this will not only keep my on track, but keep me striving forward... <BR> <BR> Because every little motivator helps <BR> Because $200 prize money looks pretty darn good <BR> Because I need to establish how I'm going to work out while I'm on the road for 5 months straight being a tourist. <BR> <BR> I managed to blitz 310 calories in this mornings session, and this... Mon, 31 Oct 2011 17:40:18 EST Fail to plan? Plan to fail! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4560830 Yeah. I let my plans go. <BR> <BR> I haven't been eating right. <BR> <BR> I haven't had the energy to exercise. <BR> <BR> I haven't had the time to consider anything outside of work, uni and my relationship. <BR> <BR> <em>227</em> <BR> <BR> I have just acknowledged the ways in which I have been letting myself down. <BR> <BR> I have the ability to turn this around. <BR> <BR> I will use my ability to turn this around. <BR> <BR> My next four weeks are full of the kinds of things that ... Mon, 31 Oct 2011 05:42:50 EST All or nothing. Attitude adjustment please! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4551911 I'm sick of being sick. <BR> <BR> I have the most...useless immune system ever. Some just needs to sneeze near me and I seem to contract pneumonia (ok - that's an exaggeration!) however, it doesnt take much for me to get sick and just be completely blah. <BR> <BR> I want to go to the gym. I know it will be pointless and do more harm then good. But still. <BR> <BR> I've come to a standstill, and I want to be moving! <BR> <BR> Only saving grace of the situation is that I have 2 assignments... Tue, 25 Oct 2011 02:51:25 EST 25 Lessons in 25 years! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4544060 1. I learnt to walk. Walking is my friend! I revel in feeling my body on the move! <BR> <BR> 2. Good manners cost nothing! Please and Thank You are two of the most under used phrases... <BR> <BR> 3. If you want something, you have to make it happen! This rule applies to everything... if you want it, then go out and find a way to get it/make it happen! Dont sit by and hope that it will fall into your lap! <BR> <BR> 4. It's ok to say no. I still feel bad about saying no to people and turnin... Wed, 19 Oct 2011 22:01:29 EST Realising a dream http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4542294 I cannot remember the last time I woke up this energetic. <BR> <BR> I cannot remember the last time I was this conscious of what went into my mouth. <BR> <BR> I believe, this is part of realising my dream... The dream of a happier, healthier Carli. The dream in which I recover the girl that might have been...had I not made so many...bad choices. Life has always seemed to get in the way. <BR> <BR> But life is for living! And this is how I want to live it! <BR> <BR> I wake up reaching for ... Tue, 18 Oct 2011 20:41:43 EST Feeling it! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4540611 Last night I attended my first ever group circuit traning session.. it was the best and worst night of my life! <BR> <BR> The training itself: So good. Had a smile on my dial the entire time. Giggled at inappropriate moments, because that's just my way.... <BR> <BR> The worst part? The way my body feels right now. Knotty arms. Tight legs. Went to the gym this morning to try and work it out a bit - and still hurting. <BR> <BR> The absolute best part?? <BR> <BR> Going back for round two ton... Mon, 17 Oct 2011 21:35:45 EST A list of my favourite things... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4538928 <em>148</em> Walking! I have always loved to walk - it's a freedom... you control how far, fast, slow, with a friend, alone, with the dogs, across the farm, down along the beach front - the possibilities are endless... <BR> <BR> <em>148</em> Music! I can NOT face gym time without my own music! Yes, my gym plays some music, but I need to have control over what's in my ears so that I can either go a little harder, faster or increase the intensity as I need. <BR> <BR> <em>148</em> Sweat!... Mon, 17 Oct 2011 00:07:12 EST S.W.E.A.T.Y http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4535846 Goodness gracious me! I love LOVE love sweaty Saturday morning gym sessions! <BR> <BR> My morning routine Monday to Saturday looks a lot like this: <BR> Get up. <BR> Wee. <BR> Stand on scales. <BR> Put on gym clothes. <BR> Tie shoes. <BR> Drive to gym (yes - drive. I would walk but there is NOT enough time) <BR> Walk in. <BR> Greet whoever is on at the time (First name basis with all the gym ladies) <BR> Then its work out time! <BR> <BR> Then once I'm done (45mins of a weekday morning, 60+... Fri, 14 Oct 2011 18:44:52 EST School and food and beating THOSE urges.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4534646 I'm coming to the end of my post graduate Education degree...and at the end, I'll be a fully fledged Enlgish/History teacher. Which is exciting! <BR> <BR> In the past, when it's come time for me to write an assignment, I basically couldn't face the idea of doing so without first going for a stroll down the confectionery ailse of the supermarket... <BR> <BR> Well! I beat the urge! I am right at this moment (well, you know what I mean!) writing an assignment...and I didnt take my usual trip. ... Thu, 13 Oct 2011 23:18:01 EST 50 Reasons to Lose 50kgs http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4532903 Every so often, I see a blog here that’s titled X number of reasons to lose X number of kilos...and I also want to walk this path. So. Here it is. Carli’s 50 reasons to lose 50kgs... <BR> <BR> 1. To be the ultimate Carli <BR> 2. To have hipbones <BR> 3. So that my boyfriend can use said hipbones when we’re getting all sweaty together... <BR> 4. Because I haven’t been under 90kg since I turned 17 <BR> 5. To buy and wear a bikini <BR> 6. To walk in to any shop and buy whatever I see – as oppos... Wed, 12 Oct 2011 22:04:32 EST So that's what a single portion looks like... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4529313 Alrighty! So I've gymmed it twice in the last two days, and have my gear waiting for me to go again at the end of the day. <BR> <BR> I love my gym time. There's something about doing something that is only going to benefit me that makes me want to give it everything that I have AND THEN some... <BR> <BR> As a woman (any woman) we tend to give so much of ourselves to everyone and everything else around us and in doing so, leave very little in the tank for ourselves. <BR> <BR> So, last nigh... Mon, 10 Oct 2011 21:54:31 EST Brutal Honesty in the form of BEFORE PHOTOS (UNDERWEAR WARNING) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4526251 Today I make my stand. <BR> <BR> I have always hated being in photos. And this is probably the real reason why - my mental image of myself and my actual image of myself are VERY far apart. I dont imagine myself as a size 2 - far from it. But I dont imagine that I carry the weight that I actually do. <BR> <BR> So I got up the courage and asked my boyfriend to take the following photos (not the best - the auto focus wasn't on... but it's my starting part. My measuring stick...) <BR> <BR> I w... Sun, 9 Oct 2011 00:32:05 EST The time to be serious is NOW! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4524683 It's amazing how many times I've started a "i need to change my life" thing and then all the happens is I be good for a couple of days, take a little slip, then back slide into old habits only stopping momentarily to do some serious damage and I find myself in a place that is much worse then where I started because low and behold - I've added a couple more kilos. <BR> <BR> No more. I actually LOOKED at myself today. In the mirror. In a photo a friend posted. I am HIDEOUS like this. Why am I ... Fri, 7 Oct 2011 20:08:58 EST Minor bumps in the road http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4521275 Somedays it just feels like - I've taken on WAY too much. <BR> <BR> Full time work. Full time study. Planning and saving for a 5 month long road trip with my honey. Launching head long into a weight loss program. <BR> <BR> I feel like it's a bit of a struggle to breathe. <BR> <BR> So I've decided to scale things back. Take VERY small steps for the weight loss program. Gym and work on eating habits. Just small steps, but effective. <BR> <BR> No soda or chocolate for 30 days. This is day 3... Wed, 5 Oct 2011 18:06:44 EST My name is Carli, and I am morbidly obese. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4509702 This is me taking the first step in re-claiming my life and taking a positive step towards changing my future. <BR> <BR> Because I no longer want to be fat by choice. <BR> Because I want to have marathon love making sessions with the man of my dreams. <BR> Because I want to have the opportunity to maybe have children and not have my body dictate otherwise. <BR> Because I dont want to have a lifestyle disease. <BR> <BR> Because I want the opportunity to have the body I deserve. <BR> Because ... Thu, 29 Sep 2011 04:06:51 EST