CAREN_BLUEJEANS's SparkPeople Blog CAREN_BLUEJEANS's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Perfectionist Boss I lost a pound this week! I've been trying to be more mindful of eating. I leave just 2 forkfuls of food on my plate (when I remember). It's not enough to make a big difference. But it gives me a chance to think about my level of satiety. If I'm full enough, I don't ever get seconds. But if I'm still hungry after sitting with a few forkfuls on my plate, I eat them, and maybe get some veggies or water to fill up on. After dinner time is a historically big binge eating time, for me. Another pro... Sat, 23 Jan 2016 13:36:14 EST Happy New Year! <img src=""> <BR> <BR> That's me in the upper left, feeling the Burn! <BR> Bernie Sanders holds a town hall event at Keokuk Middle School in Keokuk, Iowa <BR> <BR> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ <BR> New Year is a good enough place to start a new regime. I recently listened to a podcast, Dishing Up Nutrition, and they said that excess sugar is linked to joint pain. It may cause inflammation, as well as a host of other woes lik... Wed, 6 Jan 2016 22:03:54 EST Good enough Soon I start my new job. I look forward to having a gang to hang out with every day. It's not a creative position, but it's good enough. <BR> <BR> I've been out of work for 3.5 months, a semester. The kids have been so supportive. There were days when I felt like just holding it together was a chore. I'm proud of myself for not giving into the dreadful feelings. <BR> <BR> I had 2 job offers to choose from! Then, after choosing the better paying job, I got a call to interview for a 3rd, whi... Tue, 15 Dec 2015 15:44:14 EST Job interview I have another job interview set up for Monday. Friends tell me it's a nice place to work. And the pay is better than the offer I have in hand. Fingers crossed. <BR> <BR> I can't believe Hannukah is starting tomorrow night! I'm so not ready for this. I told that kids, with me not working, don't expect a present every night. <BR> <BR> Well, I'm off to the gym to do 30 min on the elliptical. Sat, 5 Dec 2015 10:17:56 EST Got a new job! Today's interview went very well. I got the job. I start on Tuesday. Not really good pay. But it's better than what I'm making now, which is nothing Thu, 3 Dec 2015 19:20:35 EST Back to gym I got a one month free membership to the gym. Went there today, did elliptical and upper body. I feel really good! I have this idea, let me run it by you. My idea is not to have a drink until I find a job. It might be what I need to get my head straight. Mon, 30 Nov 2015 10:09:53 EST Weigh in Weigh in day> stayed the same. this week my challenge is to cut out junk food. My diet has plenty of room for improvement! I turn to junk food when I'm really hungry & haven't planned ahead. My game plan: Meal planning, eating small healthy snacks, and filling up on veggies (lots of fiber). I want to keep myself from the circumstances that lend them selves to giving in to temptation. <BR> <BR> Halloween is coming. I'm not buying candy to give away. Because DS17 & I will be away for a marchi... Sat, 24 Oct 2015 09:46:38 EST Oprah and Leelo Billionaire, Oprah Winfrey just bought 10% of Weight Watchers shares. Oprah's has had her weight loss struggles, up and down the scale. I recently saw her on the news and I wondered, "If the richest woman in the world, with the resources to hire all the support people (nutritionists, doctors, chefs, personal trainers, coaches) can't lose all the weight she wants to lose, what does it say about me?" <BR> <BR> Also, WW makes it's money on repeat clients. They have a 5% success rate...and that... Thu, 22 Oct 2015 11:03:25 EST Up 3 pounds <img src=""> I put on 20 pounds in the last 3 months. This isn't good or healthy. There's a part of me that's find the chips in the cookies and the cheese quote for the kids on quote. But it's my self sabotage. I try to stay positive here in this blog. But it's just a mask over my pain and anxiety and anger. The truth of it is as obvious as the weight that I've gained. Sat, 10 Oct 2015 07:44:27 EST Tuesday Goals I went for a bike ride this morning, went the whole 3 miles, my usual walking route, and it was a great cardio workout. The knee feels great. I'm really glad I did it, although, now I probably won't get my 10,000 steps. It's a trade off. <BR> <BR> Tuesday Goals: <BR> 1. track food <em>180</em> <BR> 2. Bike (done) <em>332</em> <BR> 3. drink plenty of water <em>194</em> Tue, 6 Oct 2015 10:51:33 EST Monday Goals Monday Goals: <BR> 1. track food <em>190</em> <BR> 2. exercise <em>311</em> <BR> 3. drink 8 glasses of water <em>274</em> Mon, 5 Oct 2015 08:34:48 EST Sunday Goals I'm doing really well in comp sci class. I went to see the professor last week to ask a question that I didn't want to ask in class because it was off topic. Now, if you're a college student, (or tell your college kids) go & visit the prof during office hours. You will do better in college if you know your professors. Also, read ahead in the text books. And speak up to questions in lectures. Even if you're wrong, your answer will let the prof know that this is an area that needs to be gone ov... Sun, 4 Oct 2015 08:28:25 EST Friday Goals Friday Goals: <BR> 1. try to stay positive, think of all I have to be grateful for <BR> 2. walk or bike <BR> 3. kitchen closed between meals/snacks <BR> 4. measure those starchy carbs <BR> <BR> Well, it's October. I've been out of work for a month, and no news. My car needs work. so that's bad. I now have health care. so that's good. Fri, 2 Oct 2015 10:16:45 EST Wednesday Goals I measured a cup of mashed potatoes for dinner. I like to mix my cooked spinach with my mash. DS16 doesn't. I told him he should try it. And he called me (jokingly) a fascist. I told him I was a mashist. LOL. Anyway, my point is that I'm measuring my carbs 3 days in a row. Which is really, really good for me. <BR> <BR> the other thing I'm doing well, is mentally closing the kitchen between meals & snacks. I was especially bored yesterday, and was thinking about eating numerous times througho... Wed, 30 Sep 2015 09:57:04 EST Tuesday Goals It really helped me to focus on measuring starchy carbs. So I'm going to repeat that today. <BR> <BR> Also today, as I was driving my kids to college (DS28's car is in the shop again) and HS, I noticed that the weather was threatening rain, and that might interfere with my daily 1 hr walk. Then I had a thought, I would bike today for a change. I'm going to follow the same route. Should take a third of the time, so I'll miss the rain. And if the rain comes sooner, I can turn around & quickly ... Tue, 29 Sep 2015 09:23:11 EST Monday Goals Bringing up teens, I tried to give something positive 2 out of 3 times. Like instead of nagging to clean the room 1st thing, tell him I noticed good grades, thank them for helping with the kitchen, then ask them to spend just 15 min cleaning up. When you're nice, kids want to do more for you. <BR> <BR> So, what does this have to do with weight loss? It's about how to treat yourself nicer. Don't beat yourself for a slip up 1st thing, notice at least 2 good things you did, then gently ask you... Mon, 28 Sep 2015 09:19:11 EST saturday Weight stayed the same. I am very grateful. I'm going to make a master list of all my good habits, and focus like a laser beam! <BR> <BR> Walk at least 30 min <BR> Strength train <BR> Water with meals/snacks <BR> Snacks 100-200 cal <BR> Kitchen closed between meals/snacks <BR> Measure starchy carbs <BR> Write it before I bite it Sat, 26 Sep 2015 21:52:19 EST Sunday Goals I lost a pound! That means my daily goals are working in my favor. <BR> <BR> Sunday Goals: <BR> 1. walk an hour (done) <BR> 2. kitchen closed between meals/snacks <BR> 3. snacks are 100-200 cal <BR> 4. try to stay positive <BR> 5. write it before I bite it <BR> 6. drink plenty of water <BR> <BR> DS16 & I went to the first marching band competition of the season. It was a long day 10-10. I did a lot of walking: 13,000 steps, lots of stadium stairs. Stadium food is not healthy, but picked th... Sun, 20 Sep 2015 14:54:57 EST Thursday Goals Thursday Goals: <BR> 1. walk an hour (done) <BR> 2. strength train (done) <BR> 3. write it before I bite it <BR> <BR> My hour long walks are getting easier. Maybe because I stop so much. Today I pet 3 dogs and a cat! <BR> <BR> I miss work. I miss my friends. I stay in touch. The other graphic designer who got laid off met me at the dog park Tuesday. My friend, J, took my DS16's senior pix yesterday. And today I'm meeting my former boss for lunch. J told me no one's moved into my office. My... Thu, 17 Sep 2015 10:22:46 EST Tuesday Goals Tuesday Goals <BR> 1. write it before I bite it <BR> 2. stay positive <BR> 3 strength train <BR> 4. kitchen closed between meals & snacks <BR> <BR> So many times I finish a meal or snack & think "What else can I eat?" It's not hunger, but a desire to eat. I have to tell myself "The kitchen is closed!" Being home all day, unemployed, it's too easy to graze from the pantry & fridge all day. I need to add structure to my day. <BR> <BR> One thing I'm doing is working on my math skills with Kha... Tue, 15 Sep 2015 08:34:53 EST Monday Goals Monday Goals: <BR> 1. Write it before I bite it <BR> 2. 6 min strength training (15 push ups, 15 crunches, 15 back extensions, 15 lunges each leg) <BR> <BR> It's a new year, 5776 by the Jewish calendar. Perhaps it will end better than it started. Mon, 14 Sep 2015 09:46:28 EST Sunday Goals & Rosh Hashana Sunday Goals <BR> 1. write it before I bite it <BR> 2. 10,000 steps <BR> 3. strength train <BR> <BR> Other stuff: <BR> wash sheets & towels <BR> Tonight is Rosh Hashana the start of the Jewish New Year 5776 <BR> <BR> To those I may have wronged, <BR> I ask forgiveness. <BR> <BR> To those I may have helped, <BR> I wish I had done more. <BR> <BR> To those I neglected to help, <BR> I ask for understanding. <BR> <BR> To those who helped me, <BR> I sincerely thank you. Sun, 13 Sep 2015 15:20:51 EST Saturday goals I'm down half a pound! Let's take a moment to celebrate this hard-won success. I focused on one healthy habit at a time, and when I felt like I had one habit nailed, I added another. I held myself accountable, never shifting the blame to outside circumstances or people. <BR> <BR> I'm having trouble with anxiety. I have troubled sleep and nightmares. I woke up in the middle of the night & took meds. <BR> <BR> Saturday Goal <BR> 1. Write it before I bite it <BR> 2. 10,000 steps Sat, 12 Sep 2015 11:27:58 EST Friday Goals <img src=""> <BR> This is okra, onion & tomato, or as my kids call it: OOT. My recipe, loosely: <BR> 1. Saute half an onion in cooking spray until slightly translucent. <BR> 2. Add 1-4 plum tomatoes (I use ones from my garden) <BR> 3. Add frozen okra <BR> 4. cook until okra is not frozen, and a little warm <BR> 5. toss with salt & pepper, or hot sauce <BR> <BR> It's my TOM, and I don't feel like eating anything h... Fri, 11 Sep 2015 11:33:28 EST Thursday Goals & link to 6 min st video You always have time to work out! Here's a quick 6-min. No Excuses Workout <link> </link> <BR> <BR> Thursday Goals: <BR> 1. Write it before I bite it <BR> Thu, 10 Sep 2015 09:26:03 EST Wednesday Goals, Thanks Dostoevsky! <img src="">Wednesday Goals <BR> 1. walk <BR> 2. strength train <BR> 3. measure/limit starchy foods <BR> 4. drink plenty of water meals/snacks <BR> 5. kitchen closed between meals/snacks <BR> <BR> I'm working toward modifying habits, that I can live with and stick to. when I have a new habit nailed down, I can add another. I'm having problems with the measuring starchy, carbs. My blog has followed my expansion of ... Wed, 9 Sep 2015 07:39:19 EST Monday, Labor Day Goals Monday Goals: <BR> 1. Walk 30-60 min <BR> 2. strength train 20 min <BR> 3. forgive myself <BR> 4. drink plenty of water <BR> 5. the kitchen in closed between meals & snacks <BR> 6. measure all those starchy carbs, and limit them <BR> <BR> Regular walking is great for your health, but honestly, diet is more important to weight loss than exercise. <link><BR>e/2015/09/04/dr-roach-regular-walking-<BR>many-benefits/71673458/ </link> <BR> <BR> ~~~~~~~~ <BR>... Mon, 7 Sep 2015 08:26:34 EST Sunday Goals Sunday Goals <BR> 1. Try not to feel sorry for myself <BR> 2. Do some yard work <BR> 3. Water with meals & snacks <BR> 4. Kitchen in CLOSED between meals/snacks <BR> 5. Measure pasta, rice & crackers. Limit 2 servings: 1 cup rice or pasta, follow nutrition label for crackers. <BR> <BR> Yesterday was HOT! I sat out watching the football game for 4 hours in 90 degree heat. The marching band wore shorts & show shirts, instead of the uniforms. Good move! <BR> <BR> I have a lot of anger, sadnes... Sun, 6 Sep 2015 08:37:39 EST Friday Goals & st video My weight stayed the same. <BR> <BR> Friday Goals: <BR> 1. Don't feel sorry for myself <BR> 2. walk at least 30 min (done) <BR> 3. strength train 20 min (done) <BR> <link><BR>detail.asp?video=102 </link> <BR> 4. water with meals/snacks <BR> 5. kitchen closed between meals/snacks <BR> 6. measure pasta & rice. limit to 1 cup. Fri, 4 Sep 2015 09:38:28 EST Thursday Goals & link to st video My goals for today are: <BR> 1. hour long walk - done <BR> 2. strength training - done <BR> 3. drink water w/meals <BR> 4. kitchen close between meals & snacks <BR> 5. measure pasta & rice <BR> <BR> No Excuses Workout (Strength Training) w/ Steph (1/15/13) <link> </link> <BR> <BR> I'm having a hard time staying positive. I've found out the graphic designer who bumped me doesn't even know InDesign and PhotoShop. She's just a jumped up clerk, promoted beyond he... Thu, 3 Sep 2015 12:46:00 EST More Healthy Habits I've been doing really well with my first healthy habit: drinking plenty o'water. A glass with every meal & snack. <BR> <BR> Adding 2 more healthy habits: <BR> <BR> - Measure rice and pasta. Limit to 1 cup of rice or pasta (about 8.5 oz by weight). That's 2 portions, which is plenty for someone professing to lose weight. For me eye-balling portions doesn't work. Maybe you're better than me and can plop a portion of rice the size of your fist or a tennis ball. But I have "portion distortion.... Wed, 2 Sep 2015 15:50:19 EST Tuesday Goals Strength training done! <BR> <BR> Tuesday Goals <BR> 1. Don't feel sorry for myself <BR> 2. Drink plenty of water: every meal & snack <BR> 3. 1 hour walk - done <BR> 4. 20 min strength training (done) <BR> <BR> Other stuff: <BR> 1. Apply for unemployment - done <BR> 1a. get info from payroll - done <BR> 2. Apply for reduced price lunches - done <BR> 3. Apply for ObamaCare - done <BR> 4. Rollover 401k <BR> 5. Job interview 3pm Tue, 1 Sep 2015 09:54:07 EST Monday Goals Monday Goals <BR> 1. Don't feel sorry for myself <BR> 2. Drink water with each meal/snack <BR> 3. walk 60 min <BR> 4. strength train 30 min <BR> <BR> Also I have class 1-2, mammogram 3, and happy hour 5 Mon, 31 Aug 2015 09:57:40 EST Adding 1 good habit at a time I have a lot of good habits: I always make my bed. I do my sheets & towels every Sunday. I walk 30-60 min a day. I do them easily because they're ingrained in my life, and because I "like" exercise, clean linens, and made beds. <BR> <BR> What I need to do is add some more good habits, gradually. Here's a list of good habits I want to have, starting with the easiest one: drink plenty of water. <BR> <BR> 1. drink water with each meal & throughout the day <BR> 2. strength training. I got out ... Sun, 30 Aug 2015 08:41:11 EST This is the end This is my last day at work. I'm going to class at 1, then doing all the signing off stuff, like turning in my keys, going to benefits & payroll, then taking my box of stuff home. Monday is my actual last day, but I'm taking a sick day, as my boss & the VP suggested. <BR> <BR> And it's also the beginning: <BR> <BR> Tonight is the first football game of the season at the high school. My son is in marching band. It's senior night, so I get to present him with his metal. And each section give... Fri, 28 Aug 2015 10:06:51 EST Job interview went well I had a job interview, right here at the university, for a programmer position today. It went really well, I know one of the women as a band-mom (like me), and I've worked with another of them. I had to take a written test, which my comp sci class really helped me prepare for. I won't hear back until mid-Sept. <BR> <BR> I haven't told anyone this... <BR> <BR> I had a hard time at the GYN yesterday. I hate the midwest & how I'm discriminated against because I'm Jewish, an invisible minorit... Thu, 27 Aug 2015 15:44:02 EST Busy day ahead I have a busy day ahead of me. Dr app at 10, class at 1, back-to-school night at 6:30-8:30. I'm feeling much better, eating regular foods. I'm nervous about being weighted by the dr because of all the weight I gained when depressed. <BR> <BR> Some good news: I have another job interview on Sept 1. I told my boss that I'm grateful for how hard she & the vp have struggled to save my job. I can feel the resistance they're up against. <BR> <BR> So things are winding down at work. Finished my ... Wed, 26 Aug 2015 09:46:16 EST Still Sick I've been sick with a stomach bug since Saturday. I'm not thinking about nutrition or calories, just concentrating on eating things that don't upset me. I have this burning diarrhea because the food goes through me so quick the digestive acids don't have time to neutralize. Ugh! <BR> <BR> I've lost 3 pounds but I'm sure it's just water weight. <BR> <BR> I'm on the BRAT diet: bananas, rice, apple sauce and toast. And pushing fluids. <BR> <BR> My computer class starts today, and I"m going ... Mon, 24 Aug 2015 09:16:21 EST sick day I woke up with stomach cramps. But went through my morning as best I could. By afternoon I was exhausted. I took myself into bed for a nap. I thought it was a combination stomach bug and depression. But I just took my temperature and its a hundred. Sat, 22 Aug 2015 19:03:23 EST Comp Sci I have just one more week of work. And since one of the perks of working for a university it tuition waiver, I decided to take a class: Computer Sci 101. It runs M, W, F starting next Monday. I'm pretty excited. <BR> <BR> I'm doing well with day 2 of my reboot. Eating well, tracking. The main problems physical: because of evolution & such, our bodies want to hold onto excess weight, in case of famine; and psychological: My inner critic has a lot to say about my gaining back some of the weig... Fri, 21 Aug 2015 15:53:37 EST I'll be alright eventually, but it sucks right now I'm doing OK today: took a 40 min walk, tracking food honestly, going just fine...until a confidential letter from HR came & reminded me this layoff is really happening. My anxiety raised up, and I was feeling pretty bad. I want to binge, but no amount of food will calm me down. I know I will be alright. But I still have to go through the process. And get this: people are telling me that the person who bumped me is "such a nice person." It's like I got thrown under the bus, and I'm hurt, and ... Thu, 20 Aug 2015 16:02:41 EST Time to reboot I'm listening to a great podcast <link> </link> about regaining after a weight loss. I feel like Dr Levenson really knows what people are going through. During a regain, there's anxiety, frustration, discouragement, depression and worst of all self-criticism. People want to get back to where they were before. Far better to start where you are now, and set a goal to lose 10% of your weight. That's it. Don't think about losing 50 pounds (or whatever you have to lose to... Wed, 19 Aug 2015 10:20:54 EST starting off well I'm starting my day off well: tracking my food honestly, and getting a 30 min walk. I'm planning on doing some wood working, building a railing around the attic stairwell, for safety. I made a delicious tomato sauce from tomatoes and basil from my garden, that I plan to have with chicken for lunch. <BR> <BR> Saturday goal: <BR> 1. get 10,000 steps <BR> 2. track food honestly, even if I go over, a genuine accounting would be great Sat, 15 Aug 2015 09:19:01 EST Regain Happens Losing weight, then gaining it all back (and then some) happens. It happened to me, and lots of other people, too. I have recently regained some, not all. And I'm trying not to let it get me down, on top of all the other stress & depression I'm experiencing over my impending job loss. I've bought bigger pants, which feels like an admission of defeat. But come on, it's just pants, not some symbol. <BR> <BR> Here's a link to a health blogger who was embarrassed to admit she regained all her we... Fri, 14 Aug 2015 14:16:15 EST Thurs I've tracked my food for 3 days in a row. Not always writing before I eat, and not always weight & measured, but it's a start in the right direction. Even tracked my potato chips. Thu, 6 Aug 2015 12:11:14 EST Is it Hunger or Just a Desire to Eat? <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Another pound gained. I've got to quit gaining, or I'll be up 50 in a year. Even though I'm depressed about the lay off, I need to lose weight. <BR> <BR> I tracked my breakfast. Just do one healthy choice at a time. the kitchen is closed between meals, except for water. <BR> Mon, 3 Aug 2015 09:03:02 EST Hope is stupid, and other thoughts A few pairs of pants fit again. I've reached a new stage of depression, where I accept that lay off is happening in 5 weeks. Nothing is going to stop it. no reprieve from the governor. no deus ex machina. I wish my mother were alive. No one is ever going to be completely in my corner like Mom was. I wish I had her strength to lean on. Now I have to be the strong one. without her. I have to set a good example for my kids on how to face adversity with dignity and determination. As much as I wan... Wed, 29 Jul 2015 19:43:28 EST Adding some structure <img src=""> <BR> #TrumpYourCat <BR> Brush your dog or cat, place the hair on his or her head, and take a pic. <BR> <BR> I've been doing a lot more walking. I usually listen to a history podcast. Life of Caesar, or the French Revolution gets me through a 3 mile walk in 1 hour. I'd like to increase my speed. I can wear my pants again, although they are too tight. Adding structure to my new free time is another go... Mon, 27 Jul 2015 09:54:59 EST Pants don't fit It's been a week since I found out I'm laid off, and I've been comfort eating, and sometimes binging, and sometimes drinking. Although I do set some limits on myself, like no wine before 6pm, and keep it down to 2 glasses. Old habits in times of stress. The cause of the gain doesn't matter. It's what I do about it. My size 12 pants don't fit. I'm wearing dresses, which hide a lot of sins. <BR> <BR> I've got to reel my behaviors in. Let's just say, to be frugal, I don't want to have to buy a ... Thu, 23 Jul 2015 09:24:02 EST 228 day streak Don't take my 228 day streak as I sign that I'm doing well. These days I'm just spinning the log-in wheel at Spark People, and then basically not following through. There's a part of me that just doesn't care, and another that regrets my bad decisions, knows a weight gain is going to happen, but understands, as well. <BR> <BR> I try not to go hog wild, and try to minimize the damage by having smaller treat portions, limit drinking to after 6, getting some exercise. <BR> <BR> I went through... Tue, 14 Jul 2015 10:20:18 EST