CANES4EVER63's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=CANES4EVER63 CANES4EVER63's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ I'm slipping - in a negative way http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5629763 In my food habits, that is. <BR> <BR> I've barely eaten over the past 2 weeks. Like nothing at all. Today, I'm feeing it. I want carbs and fat, really bad. All I've eaten are fruits and veggies. That's it. Seriously. Oh, and a slice or two of turkey bacon with lunch. That, plus tahini is my only source of protein right now. Like I said, I'm feeling it. <BR> <BR> My normal day - wake up, go to the gym, eat lunch (some sort of veggie with turkey bacon. Ie, green beans with tomatoes and turkey... Fri, 21 Feb 2014 03:26:01 EST Measurements update! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5626993 Side note: I've been a pooping machine for the past few days, woo! Go body, finally getting rid of the soy, dairy, corn, and gluten that I ingested over a week ago! <BR> <BR> So I weighed in this morning, 134.8! Last measurements day was 135.4, I'll take it! (According to their scale, I'm down 2 lbs) <BR> <BR> So the measurements, that I can remember - <BR> Neck, biceps, calfs, chest stayed the same. <BR> Everything else went down. By how much? I don't remember. I know my thighs are 0.5 inc... Tue, 18 Feb 2014 01:56:51 EST My body is adjusting. Slowly. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5624029 So have I recovered from last weekend's binge on foods that might kill me? I don't know. I'm still constipated. I know, an entire week. My stomach hates me, this might be my reminder NOT to give into those urges next time I'm at my parents house. <BR> <BR> I've actually eaten really well since then. Ok. Rephrase. NOT really well, but well for my control freaking out mind. I've barely eaten. And only fruits and veggies and turkey bacon. I just haven't been hungry. This week has been awful. S... Fri, 14 Feb 2014 13:56:12 EST I think I might die http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5619093 Overdramatic? Yes. But I'm sure it caught your intention! <BR> <BR> PS: I'm slightly drunk. Majorly tipsy. Majorly sick. <BR> <BR> I'm home with my parents. There are SO many temptations here. I have AWFUL self control. I don't buy foods I know I'll indulge on. I don't buy nuts, I don't buy nut butters, I don't buy chocolate (even the 100% pure cocoa powder!), I don't buy eggs, and I don't buy bananas (the latter two allow me to make a microwave brownie. An apple or apple sauce can substit... Sun, 9 Feb 2014 00:52:48 EST Measurements http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5617468 So on Monday, my Personal Trainer, went "measurements!" and I started freaking out and asked when. He looked at my file and said 2 weeks and asked if I was nervous and whatnot. Obviously the look of fear came across my face and he told me I should have nothing to worry about. <BR> <BR> We'll see. <BR> <BR> I hesitantly weighed myself this morning. 136.4. I'm happy with that number. I know I'm gaining muscle, so an increase in pounds is ok, right? We'll see. I'm not freaking out over body f... Fri, 7 Feb 2014 02:09:06 EST The past month http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5612620 Ok, I know I've been MIA. Honestly? I've been disappointed in myself. That whole eating too much, possibly due to PMS? Yeah, it lasted throughout the entire month of December, and then into January as well! I finally got the courage last week to weigh myself. 142.4. Up 7 whole pounds. I needed that reality check. BUT, my clothes were fitting the same and I figured that body fat percentage and measurements would be more reliable. I think my personal trainer is going to do all that again in 2 w... Sat, 1 Feb 2014 23:39:22 EST What is wrong with me?? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5571950 I haven't felt like this since July. All I want to do is eat, like non stop eating. I'm full and I want to eat. I'm bloated and stuffed and have a major food baby, but yet I still want to eat! I want sweets, I want carbs, I want cake, I want pie, I want sugar, I want pizza. OMG, pizza would be fantastic. Like if it wasn't Christmas, I'd highly consider going to the store and buying pizza, oh, or mac and cheese! Like holy crap, give it to me, NOW! <BR> <BR> I don't know what's wrong with me.... Thu, 26 Dec 2013 01:34:24 EST PMS question... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5570469 So I'm in the medical field, I'm use to being blunt, sorry if this is too blunt for some of you! <BR> <BR> Unnecessary background info? I have PCOS. <BR> <BR> PMS has never affected me, I've never been hungrier during that time of the month, never craved chocolate or sugar, never got bloated, etc. <BR> <BR> The past few months? I think it's totally affecting me. So what's changed? I limited my sugar intake about a year ago and officially cut out chocolate (food sensitivity) around August.... Mon, 23 Dec 2013 11:57:15 EST And the results are in!! Major progress!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5567991 First, the weight: 135.4!! That's A HEALTHY BMI!!!!! AHH!!!! <BR> According to the gym, I've lost 11 lbs since joining there. Prior to Thanksgiving (11/15), I was 137.6, so in the past month, I've lost 2.2 lbs. Somehow, I must have lost the other 9 lbs in the 2-3 weeks prior to that. So since joining my new gym and starting personal training, I'm stoked with the results. You know what, I'm even pleased with "only" losing 2.2 lbs in the past month. I'm even more shocked to be at a healthy BMI!... Thu, 19 Dec 2013 11:55:53 EST Not fair! - updated http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5566924 So I was suppose to get my measurements taken, body fat percentage measured, flexibility testing remeasured, etc tomorrow (Wednesday); however, my PT texted me today to say that the lead PT scheduled someone during the time that I was suppose to meet with him. So... it's not getting done until Thursday morning. I had mentally prepared myself for this tomorrow (see previous blog entry), I was going to weigh myself at home first before going to the gym (my first weigh in since prior to Thanksgi... Wed, 18 Dec 2013 00:33:57 EST Wednesday... getting my measurements taken again http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5565637 So I met with my personal trainer today and it turns out we were suppose to do measurements and body fat percentage... but, of course, I did cardio beforehand so the body fat percentage reading would be inaccurate. So now I have to wait until Wednesday to know! Ugh! <BR> <BR> But I'm actually really nervous about it. I know my body fat percentage will be down, I mean, how can it not be? Doing ST 3x/week for 5 weeks? The measurements? Well, hopefully they'll be down. The scale is what I'm mo... Mon, 16 Dec 2013 11:58:21 EST Bring on the wine! .. Writing to figure things out http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5565305 Heads up: I'm 100% tipsy right now, so not sure if this will make sense, but, it is more for my own sake of mind than what others think, so... <BR> <BR> a) I'm hungry. I shouldn't be (or maybe I should?). I want to eat, but I know I shouldn't (or should I?) <BR> <BR> b) I didn't get that job "promotion". I'm not disappointed I didn't get it (it would be a pay cut, even with the 5% raise, it would still not be enough to counteract the shift diff of switching from 2nd to 1st shift), I'm more ... Mon, 16 Dec 2013 02:09:13 EST Note to self http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5564200 EAT LUNCH. <BR> <BR> That is all. <BR> <BR> Yesterday was a rough day. I woke up and had a great workout, but I was constantly fretting about not being able to check my work email from home to see if I got the job I applied for. I texted one of my coworkers to ask her to let me know if she heard anything about anyone getting the position. It turns out, someone did, and it wasn't me. It was the least likely person to get it, in my opinion (in everyone's opinion). But this isn't about that. I... Sat, 14 Dec 2013 12:25:31 EST Clothes shopping trip!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5562548 Partial success (actually very successful, but only became partial when I got home)!!! <BR> <BR> So I have an interview tomorrow to expand on the characteristics of my job (pretty much adding a role to my current duties) and I need an interview outfit! I desperately need formal pants since all of mine were too big. I went straight to the size 10 section - everything I tried on was too big - except one pair! It was Express and I was super stoked. They were grey and pinstripe. I've always want... Thu, 12 Dec 2013 00:28:36 EST To eat or not to eat, that is the question. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5561756 Yes, I'm still dealing with my disordered eating habits. Yes, I'm aware of how little I can eat on a normal day. Yes, I'm trying to change this. Yes, I'm trying to increase my protein. But it's so difficult. <BR> <BR> What I've eaten to day: <BR> Breakfast: one egg, 2 slices turkey bacon, a small mixed greens salad with roasted cherry tomatoes and olive oil <BR> Lunch: garden salad (mixed greens, pomegranate, golden raisins, roasted sunflower seeds, peppers, tomatoes, olive oil and balsamic ... Wed, 11 Dec 2013 01:29:24 EST What I've learned over the past few weeks http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5551175 EAT LUNCH!! <BR> <BR> I forgot to eat lunch on Friday and completely overate (or at least felt like I did!) later in the day. <BR> <BR> Same thing today. Exact same thing. I'm still hungry (although I shouldn't be!) and I've already eaten a day's worth in one meal (it's a good thing it's almost all I've eaten today is in one meal!). But I still want to eat more. Is it that I'm still hungry? That I need protein? That I've had too much wine? <BR> <BR> Regardless, I need to eat lunch and get... Wed, 27 Nov 2013 01:47:31 EST Venting http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5549572 Boy, have I missed blogging! It's a way to just get my thoughts out so I'm not keeping them all inside. I have been telling some of my good friends on days where I feel like I eat too much, but they just don't understand. One of my friends does understand, but she's a recovering anorexic and I'm afraid that me talking to her about food will cause her to relapse. <BR> <BR> So I made another banana "brownie" thingy. I'm just craving sugar - PMS, perhaps? It's never affected me in the past, but... Mon, 25 Nov 2013 02:07:53 EST I think I strained my neck while strength training :( http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5548425 So it all started yesterday when I forgot to eat lunch. I ate my "lunch" around 7pm and then around 11, I ate my dinner. But then I wanted something sweet, so I made my mini microwave brownie (one banana, one egg, some applesauce, some baking powder, and some cinnamon, blended, then microwaved for 2 minutes). I served it with some fruit preserves that I whipped up (some frozen fruit on the stove, heated, then blended). It was good, but didn't hit the spot. So I just went to bed before I could... Sat, 23 Nov 2013 12:49:27 EST Why am I still freaking out over this?? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5546585 So I'm going home for Thanksgiving, I'm freaking out. My eating routine is going to be whacked and I don't know how my body will respond. I'm leaving next Wednesday morning after my workout and that will be ok. I have a Turkey Trot (8K) Thanksgiving morning, then I'll eat my breakfast, apps, and dinner. It shouldn't be TOO bad. My parents are going to prepare foods I can eat (free of all my allergies) and so there will be limited portions of what I can eat. Last year, I got an olive oil mashe... Thu, 21 Nov 2013 01:39:39 EST Because I love food, here are my current go-to recipes http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5545753 Spaghetti squash! YUM!!! <BR> 1 and only) Cook spaghetti squash and serve as spaghetti. The sauce is sauteed onions and garlic (with salt and pepper), mushrooms, a can of petite diced tomatoes and some roasted red peppers. yum! Why anyone would chose pasta over spaghetti squash boggles me! <BR> 2) this recipe: http://stuffweate.blogspot.com/2012/01/chi<BR>cken-pad-thai-made-with-spaghetti.html (I used coconut aminos as opposed to soy sauce, it's the gluten free, soy free "soy" suace <BR> <BR... Wed, 20 Nov 2013 01:42:45 EST My half marathon!! - long update! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5542997 It all started with waking up at 5am, brutal, I know. But we got to the location and had LOTS of pics taken, all of which are on my fb page. Tomorrow I'll get them and upload them, but my goal right now is pure RELAXATION. I'll also get the official pics taken during the run, they'll get uploaded too :) <BR> <BR> Ok, we get there, we join a pace group, around 10-11 min miles. Next thing we know, we're inching forwards and then we're at the start line and we're running. The first 6 miles, I w... Sat, 16 Nov 2013 21:24:39 EST SUPER quick update! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5539717 1) I've missed you all dearly. <BR> 2) I have a HALF MARATHON this Saturday (totally freaking out, but I'll be with my running group, so it should be good!) <BR> 3) I'm totally focused on toning/strengthening now (well will be after my half, I love running, but I need a change!). Love my personal trainer and what the future holds (the goal is to NOT lose weight, but to lose body fat. Now how the two aren't combined, I don't know, but that has been stressed to me my both my trainer (gym's lead... Wed, 13 Nov 2013 00:56:48 EST Food allergist results - In case you were wondering http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5355817 I know I've been MIA. I'm still dealing with a lot of things. <BR> <BR> The bottom line: <BR> I'm allergic to ALL forms of dairy, ALL forms of soy, corn, barley, rye, buckwheat, wheat, walnuts, mustard, and nutmeg. I'm slightly allergic to cashews and pistachios. I'm also possibly allergic to shrimp and crab - because I'm highly allergic to dust mites, there can be a false positive with the two seafood. It was a very small reaction, but I was told to avoid it - for now. <BR> <BR> I guess I... Tue, 14 May 2013 00:12:33 EST My running story :) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5328727 It all started when I was in college taking the mandatory "hard" PE class that we had to take - the one that wasn't tennis, volleyball, golf, rock climbing, aka, the fun one, but the run conditioning one, the step aerobics one, the body conditioning one. I did aerobics and body conditioning, ie, it was like a cardio circuit class with the occasional ST/one mile run day. Well, we were told to go run a mile and me and my roomie were like "uhm....no". But you know what? We did! We ran that entir... Fri, 19 Apr 2013 13:07:07 EST Just writing to figure this out http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5325896 I know for the past month I've been overeating. I know I underate for the past few days. I know I need the energy to run 4 miles tomorrow morning, so I forced myself to eat some quinoa salad that I made the other day (so I'd have the protein and the energy!). But right now? I REALLY want some cake or some ice cream (no, not really, I just want the cake, a chocolate cake or chocolate frosting, or chocolate chip cookies, but NOT dark chocolate- shocker!). But AHH! I feel like I'm going crazy. ... Wed, 17 Apr 2013 00:44:48 EST Just keep pushing http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5325212 I've realized that one way to fight that other part of myself is by working out, so even though I don't have much to say, I'm figuring that if I post this, then that'll help me stay motivated? Ok, staying motivated is NOT a problem for me, it's just ...needing the motivation to fight that other part of myself? It's too conflicting, it really is. <BR> <BR> But yesterday was great. Did I eat enough? Heck no. To recap: <BR> Ran 35 minutes, elliptical for 35 minutes <BR> Had a gu gel energy/ele... Tue, 16 Apr 2013 12:44:13 EST I have never felt so alone http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5322342 Before I get started - I'm still awaiting the pancreatic enzyme results - I'll keep you updated when I find out. Hopefully it shouldn't be too much longer!! The nurse said she'll call me as soon as they come in, but since it is a send out, it takes a little bit longer than an in house test. <BR> <BR> But to the point: I feel so alone right now and I've never felt like this before. Ok, maybe I have, but I've always ignored it. I don't know. Maybe I'm just becoming more aware. I talked to my ... Sun, 14 Apr 2013 00:02:29 EST Latest test results/pancreas issues?? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5312075 So after being told to eat whatever I wanted for an entire week (which actually caused me to "binge"(?) more!), I finally have the test results. Celiac = negative. I figured that would be the case, it runs in my family, yes, but it doesn't develop until you're in your 40s. I have time. But I'm still not eating gluten. I feel better not eating gluten. That isn't changing (except when I binge...). BUT, my stool sample showed that I did have steatorrhea (aka, fat in my stool, causing it to float... Thu, 4 Apr 2013 23:56:32 EST Story of my life http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5288337 This past week has comprised of HORRIBLE eating habits. Like awful. It stared last Saturday and I don't understand. I've been craving chocolate cake like nobodies business and it's awful. The thing is? I've given in, every single time! It destroys my stomach and the cramping that it causes can be unbearable. I wish I didn't give into the cravings, but it's an impulse thing and I have NO control over. Ok, you might think I do, but I don't. I have an impulse control disorder, it sucks, I can't ... Sat, 16 Mar 2013 00:04:18 EST Almond milk drinkers, I have a question for you!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5283405 Ok, I REALLY prefer coconut milk to almond milk, but here is my dilemma - My protein/electrolytes are low, so I always get the protein/calcium fortified version of the lactose free milk options - coconut milk (I use the Coconut Dream brand) has a 3x the calcium/protein, which I find delicious. However, they don't make an unsweetened (which is different than no sugar added!) version, so it comes in at 80 calories a cup. I recently saw an almond milk (Silk, I believe?) that is a whopping 5x the... Tue, 12 Mar 2013 02:00:20 EST Running - I'm addicted! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5281762 This is another late night, ok, is 10 pm late? Not at all!, but it is at night and I want to go on yet ANOTHER run! I swear, I'm addicted to running right now! I did just over 5.5 miles today, it was a 51 minute run! I went up to 6.6 mph for 21 minutes and 11 of those minutes were on an incline! I just want to go run!! The thing is, my toes aren't too happy right now. AKA, I need new running shoes. I've gone through my running shoes in 5 months! I'm excited to get my new pair tomorrow! Hopefu... Sun, 10 Mar 2013 22:04:43 EST Which 5K should I do!?!? And when? Decisions!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5272701 I REALLY want to do another race. I'm doing a 10K on 4/13, but I want a 5K before then. There is one this Saturday which I'm all for. I was about to sign up and thought "hmm..women's medium, or women's large!" I had no idea what shirt I needed! The last women's tech shirt I have from a race is a large, it's a little too lose, but that's ok. I can always exchange shirts anyways. So then I thought "ahh, but I have my first hour long personal training session on Friday, I'm not going to be able ... Mon, 4 Mar 2013 12:41:11 EST Update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5271489 So I've been really MIA recently. I'm sorry. <BR> <BR> Here is my life: switching to second shift is GREAT, but after a week, I'm still struggling to find my routine, especially when it comes to eating! I'll figure it out though. <BR> <BR> I LOVE the new gym I joined! I met with the head personal trainer for my free PT session, it was AMAZING. I signed up for a month's worth of sessions with someone who he paired me up with. I have my first session with him this week. It'll be fun! The staf... Sun, 3 Mar 2013 17:59:41 EST Reflections http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5257838 I don't really feel like being all philosophical and digging deep right now, but I do have something on my mind, and I find it only fitting to write about it today since I am finally down 90 lbs since I started this journey about 14 months ago. <BR> <BR> I have had A LOT of people tell me that I don't need to lose anymore weight, but it is starting to get on my nerves because I DO need to! A coworker said that I'd be too thin if I lose the 10 or so more pounds that I plan on, but I don't bel... Wed, 20 Feb 2013 18:22:28 EST Shopping trip!! (pics) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5224575 Well, it all started with "oh crap, my $10 rewards card for DSW is going to expire tomorrow, I HAVE to go shoe shopping. Now normally shoe shopping is a reward for losing weight and I haven't hit my next reward shopping trip (the 130s) yet, but I had to go, even if I didn't need shoes! So I went up the clearance section and fell in love. KNEE HIGH BOOTS! AHH! AND THEY FIT!!! You see, most people say that they love shoes because they fit regardless of your size, but that isn't true with boots.... Sat, 26 Jan 2013 16:09:18 EST Fainting = not ok http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5211768 Just to start of, no, I did not faint again. But yes, I essentially did faint again. I fainted while being conscious. <BR> <BR> I hate fainting, I really do. Although it's been a few months since the last time, I could tell it was going to happen. My tunnel vision came back a few weeks ago and today I was standing with my grandmother at a store and realized "wow, my stomach hurts, I must be hungry!" But then it didn't go away. A minute or so later, tunnel vision. But you don't get tunnel vi... Thu, 17 Jan 2013 15:45:49 EST Finally, it's over!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5207554 It's all done. FINALLY. I PASSED!!! It was SO scary to finally hit "end exam" button. Then they ask "are you sure?" then they ask again "are you sure that you're sure??" It's like, YES! I made this decision, now you want me to make it AGAIN!? UGH! And then you read a "this is not your final score, you'll receive that via mail in 10 days. Do you understand?" then you click YES and THEN you get to see the screen that reads PASS! WOOO!!! It was so scary! I'm SO glad it's DONE!! Now I can HAVE A ... Mon, 14 Jan 2013 22:38:40 EST The past month http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5202788 I've been SUPER busy!! Yes, I've logged onto SP every day, but only to record my fitness minutes, I haven't even spun the wheel for my daily points!! I feel like such a slacker :( <BR> <BR> But the past month - it's been a blur FULL of studying. That pretty much sums it up. Study, study, study. Buy a house (!!!), study, study, graduate, study, study, etc. You get the idea. I cannot WAIT to finish studying! How it works: we study non stop, apply to take the boards (through the ASCP - American... Fri, 11 Jan 2013 21:30:53 EST Uhhh http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5167840 So Sunday is NOT my weigh in day, I know this. But I ate SO poorly last night that I feel like I need some shock therapy this morning. I had way too much chocolate and my stomach hates me for it. But I also had too much real food, although I was hungry, so I suppose that part was ok. It was just the unnecessary amounts of chocolate that was consumed. So should I have some shock therapy and weigh myself? I think so.. although yesterday was a great check weigh in, I really need to know today so... Sun, 16 Dec 2012 06:29:50 EST Looking forward to Wednesday! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5167137 This will be short, but I just have to write it! I was really hesitant about having my check weigh in today. I went out to dinner last night (unexpectedly) and was really worried about what the scale would show this morning. We went to a Thai restaurant, which was actually quite good! I got the spicy basil curry, which consisted of this sauce (which wasn't soy!) with grilled peppers, green beans, onions, and some pieces of chicken mixed in. That was it, essentially veggies for dinner! The chi... Sat, 15 Dec 2012 08:59:42 EST Just trying to work through this http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5166665 So I've been doing really well about weighing myself only twice a week and I've chosen to do this on Saturdays and Wednesdays. Saturday acts as a way to be accountable to myself and to not vege out on Friday nights (which is difficult since it signifies the end of a long week!). It also serves as a check, just to make sure I'm on the right track since I update my tracker on Wednesdays. The thing is - I'm freaking out. I REALLY want to weigh myself - like now. I just have to know. Ok, ok, I co... Fri, 14 Dec 2012 16:57:36 EST Picture update - BLC20 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5160260 So here is my BLC20 BEFORE picture: <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/8/2/l827489981.jpg"> <BR> <link>http://i50.tinypic.com/ornxuq.jpg </link> <BR> Weight: 164.8 <BR> <BR> Here is after with the same clothes! (ok, ok, I grabbed my wrong colorful striped tanktop, but whatever, you get the idea) <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/1/l1169358509.jpg"> <BR> <link>i48.tinypic.com/sz8z09.jpg </link> <BR> Weight: 147.6 <BR> <BR> And here is after with the... Sat, 8 Dec 2012 14:01:57 EST My first 8K Turkey Trot!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5144803 It was GREAT! I went in having no idea what to expect. I was so anxious about it. I know I can run the 5 miles "no problem", but that's on a treadmill. The road is SO different and I'm completely aware of that. I also know that I tend to run a lot faster on the road than I do on the treadmill, so it's a lot more difficult to pace myself. Then there are the hills to consider, that's just a whole endurance situation. So with all this considered, I was hoping to finish around 55 minutes. This wa... Sat, 24 Nov 2012 06:56:54 EST Ow!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5138961 Ok. I'm back on track. I have to be. It's 2:30 in the morning and I can't sleep because I'm in so much stomach pain! So I think - what did I eat yesterday. More of that Enjoy Life chocolate... A lot more. But it was less than I had consumed the day before. So that's not causing the pain (and there should be nothing in there that I'm sensitive to, unless it's just that I'm not use to all the sugar). And then I think - casein? I had lactose free cheese (more yesterday than I have the previous d... Sun, 18 Nov 2012 02:36:07 EST Realizations http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5133588 I am trying REALLY hard to not focus on the number on the scale. I overate again yesterday. Was it still within my range? Yes. But it's overeating for me. And you know what? The scale was up yet ANOTHER 0.4 lbs this morning. That's 3 days in a row of the scale going up 0.4 lbs. And as much as I don't regret overeating on Saturday, I do yesterday. So much so, that I slept horribly last night. I wouldn't let myself fall sleep and when I did, I was up only a few hours later. The process then rep... Tue, 13 Nov 2012 06:38:33 EST BLC20: Weekend challenge - food tracker and recipes http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5129942 So I hate the food tracker on spark. Maybe I'm just adverse to it because everything I eat is my own recipe that isn't in the food tracker and to create a grouping of everything I've used (which I then have to find because for some reason, spark likes to put pre packaged, processed foods BEFORE the raw, natural healthy foods that I'm looking for - which is a whole other annoying story) and then estimate approximately how much of the recipe I ate is just time consuming. So I'll make my own tra... Fri, 9 Nov 2012 20:24:47 EST 30:28!!!! MY SECOND 5K!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5122419 AHH!! I met my goal of getting under 31 minutes!! SO EXCITED!!! <BR> <BR> So I woke up this morning and got ready - here is the picture. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/0/l1009712821.jpg"> <BR> <link>i45.tinypic.com/2a6msrn.jpg </link> <BR> <BR> It was FREEZING cold! When I left this morning at 7, the temperature was 33 degrees. Brrr. So even with my wick away pants, long sleeve shirt, shirt that they gave us, and my jacket, I was freezing! I grabbed gloves an... Sat, 3 Nov 2012 11:33:46 EST AMAZING soup recipe! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5120693 <link>www.marthastewart.com/284268/apple-b<BR>utternut-squash-soup?center=276955&gal<BR>lery=275039&slide=284268 </link> <BR> <BR> It's DELICIOUS! I used olive oil instead of butter and I used 2.5 cups low sodium veggie broth and 2 cups of water. Other than that, I pretty much followed the recipe. I added all the spices (minus the ginger) with the onions (because I was taught to always saute the onion/garlic with the spices! And then I added more of the same spices, plus FRESHLY grated gi... Thu, 1 Nov 2012 19:51:54 EST More early morning ramblings http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5119858 Still feeling blah. Hopefully that'll change soon! <BR> <BR> The scale was down today (I don't know why I'm not excited), it always tends to drop a lot the day after weigh in! So am I stoked about the scale reading 147.8? Yes, but do I feel excited? No. <BR> <BR> I'm in the Healthy for the Holidays challenge. Ok, it's not a challenge. You just set goal weights for the first of each month - which I am not a fan of doing at all. I don't like timelines, so it's a good thing I've set my goal o... Thu, 1 Nov 2012 06:37:38 EST Just trying to collect my thoughts http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5119555 I have a lot of thoughts on my mind right now and they're all jumbled up and I can't make sense of them. I know this is contributing to my "blah" feeling right now. It's just a down mood that, sure, can be called depression. I know it's normal to feel down every once in a while, so I hope this feeling doesn't last too long, but oh well. <BR> <BR> So the organization of my thoughts <BR> <BR> This one I need advice on. We start a new clinical rotation tomorrow and we don't have lunch. We get ... Wed, 31 Oct 2012 21:17:00 EST