CALLIKIA's SparkPeople Blog CALLIKIA's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Another Week Another week, still more success and some little hurdles too... <BR> <BR> HW: 466.6 <BR> 12/27/17 Weigh In: 217.5 <BR> 1/15/18 Weigh In: 213.5 <BR> 1/21/18 Weigh In: 213.1 <BR> 1/28/18 Weigh In: 212.3 <BR> <BR> That scale is still moving in the right direction even while I'm struggling a bit to stay on task, so that's a bonus! The past couple weeks have been difficult. I'm struggling a bit with sugar and wanting to binge due to some emotional crap...but I'm doing my best to keep it in che... Tue, 30 Jan 2018 10:01:59 EST Week One Recap - 2018 <img src=""> <BR> Happy Birthday to Me! <BR> <BR> Well, I haven't weighed in yet this week, and that's really not quite as important to me today as the other stuff - the what I did and didn't do and how I plan to move ahead. Especially today...since it is my birthday! My coworker and friend bought me this little beret as a present! So cute! We have a whole Europe theme going on this year since I'm set to go for... Mon, 8 Jan 2018 15:33:21 EST Happy New Year! Welcome 2018! <img src=""> <BR> Happy New Year! Welcome to 2018! <BR> <BR> I know a lot of people this year who are talking down the idea of New Year's Resolutions. They say that their resolutions always fail throughout the year so they've given up on the idea of setting them in the first place. Many have replaced it with other ideas/thoughts - like a "word" for the year. But...isn't that actually just the same thing? Look... Tue, 2 Jan 2018 11:47:29 EST The Plan Okay, so the plan is simple - do what you can, when you can. Don't worry about the rest. <BR> <BR> I'm working on running, but I have to take it slow. I did week 1 of a half marathon training plan...and then couldn't complete it again the next week. My body is not happy. So I run when I can, for as much as I can. Half a mile. A mile and a half. Whatever works. If my plan says 2 miles and my body says 1/2, I take the 1/2 and try not to stress over it. I'm using a 12 week plan for 52+... Thu, 21 Dec 2017 11:37:51 EST Updates and Goals Just got the word today that my insurance company will NOT cover any skin removal surgery. Period. End of discussion. It sucks, but according to them, they'll give you the weight loss surgery coverage but for no reason will ever cover the skin removal, no matter what medical need is cited by medical professionals. So even though my WLS surgeon and the plastic surgeon have told me that I am an excellent candidate and would really benefit from the surgery, I cannot have that surgery right now... Tue, 19 Dec 2017 14:58:34 EST Back on Track Hello, Sparkers! <BR> <BR> Okay, so I need to get my butt back on track. That isn't to say I haven't had successes along the way, but I'm now two years out from surgery and I've only succeeded by cheating the system a bit and having a little luck as of late. As I approach year three, the year in which most WLS patients either see continued success and improvement or start reverting back to old ways and enter that dangerous potential of 50% who regain, I'm kicking my butt back onto the trac... Tue, 7 Nov 2017 09:22:27 EST 10K Training and The Hard Part Begins Again Hey, y'all! <BR> <BR> Look, I've been awful at updating my page...but I've been hella busy and I promise that's a really good thing! First of all, stats! <BR> <BR> HW: 466.6 <BR> SW: 460.6 <BR> CW: 233.0 <BR> Total Weight Lost: 233.6 pounds! <BR> <BR> That's right, ladies and gents! I am officially now HALF the person I once was! PHEW! That took awhile, didn't it?! A hard fought battle, I must say...and now I'm looking toward the future and the really hard stuff! <BR> <BR> For the re... Tue, 8 Aug 2017 10:58:05 EST Stalls for Days... Ugh! I swear this stall can break ANY DAY NOW! Seriously! I saw 249 on the scale for like a day, then it does what it does and popped back up and is coming slowly back down again. Yesterday it was 252 again (it had gone all the way up to 258!). It's thanks to hormones and that TOM and stress and all that, I know that much. I also haven't been doing that well on my eating/drinking to help it out. When I'm stressed, I snack. When I'm cramping, I eat. <BR> <BR> This week... <BR> <BR> T... Mon, 27 Mar 2017 11:43:39 EST Life is What Happens... ...when you're busy making other plans. <BR> <BR> I'm having a bit of a rough week. Teenagers, y'all! <BR> <BR> I'm supposed to get my butt to the gym tonight, and I'm doing my best to work through lunch today so I can skip out a little early and make everything happen today, but it's a busy list today! I'm stressed! <BR> <BR> Weight: I don't know. <BR> So I talked to the boyfriend last night and we talked about how I'm trying to let go of my scale dependence again, so I've agreed to wai... Thu, 16 Mar 2017 13:35:05 EST Day 1/7 - Week of March 13th Day One <BR> <BR> Weight this morning: 349.6 <BR> Up a little bit from last week (.4 pounds). Not exactly sure why but I am having a LOT of hip pain - so much so that it's causing me to lose sleep. I had to pull out the pain meds I never take in order to make it through the night last night and finally slept until 5am. Still woke up sore and tired, though. I'll try again tonight and see if I can make it through a night without the pain. <BR> <BR> Visited the doc today for an annual chec... Mon, 13 Mar 2017 15:38:43 EST Week of 3/13/17 to 3/19/17 Things to Manage: <BR> Water <BR> Fitness <BR> Food <BR> Vitamins <BR> Stress Management <BR> <BR> So here's what's I've learned... this is not one size fits all and it requires balance. If I don't drink enough water, I am not as successful. If I'm not managing my stress, I'm not as successful. If I don't eat the right foods or workout enough (or too much), I won't be as successful. So the key for me has been managing all of it at once and just doing the best I can with all of the areas ... Fri, 10 Mar 2017 14:55:02 EST 35 Days and Counting I've been struggling a lot lately with goals and what I want to do from here on out. I have new people in my life who love me, but who have concerns about my life post-VSG that I have to talk through. Some of those concerns are very valid. <BR> <BR> When I was a kid, I didn't mind the dentist. I didn't have the kind of mother who reminded you to brush your teeth. She always just did, so I guess she didn't realize anyone wouldn't have that as a part of their day. On the day of my dentist... Tue, 7 Mar 2017 15:42:13 EST No More Weight Limits! <img src=""> <BR> Meet Esther. <BR> Esther woke up this morning with a terrible sinus cough and congestion. <BR> Esther spent the past two days in bed, basically, fighting said sinus congestion. <BR> Esther spent the earlier part of the week arguing with her boyfriend because of her own insecurities and demons. (Said boyfriend, btw, held her and told her "I'm not leaving. We GOT this." He's perfect.) <BR> Esther ... Thu, 2 Mar 2017 10:05:17 EST Defining Success <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Day 11/28 of Erin Stern's Elitebody 4-Week Fitness Trainer. Last night boyfriend went to the gym with me. This makes him extremely nervous, but he does it anyhow whenever we can. I even asked him, "Why are you going to the gym with me?" His response? "Because we do everything together." He's really amazing, you guys! I had to bump up the Back workout because I have an event to run ton... Fri, 24 Feb 2017 12:31:40 EST Yea, That's a Bit Annoying... I know it's to be expected. I just started a lifting routine which means I'm going to be building muscle. Which means I'm probably not going to see a lot of loss on the scale the first couple weeks of that program. I need to concentrate on what I'm seeing in the mirror and not what I'm seeing on the scale. But, dang! It's frustrating to see the same number three weeks in a row! (Actually, last week it went up a smidge.) I'm so ready to see the other side of 250 and, yet, here I sit in ... Wed, 22 Feb 2017 09:15:30 EST And Here's Where It Gets Hard <img src=""> <BR> Four words for you: <BR> Lemon Blueberry Quinoa Pancakes <BR> <BR> YUM! <BR> <BR> Good morning, everyone! Is this something like three days in one week?! WOW! Talk about accountability! I thought about not blogging this morning and then I thought about not going to the gym...and I realized that doing one might MAKE me do the other. So here I am! <BR> <BR> You see, this is where it gets har... Fri, 17 Feb 2017 09:12:59 EST Let's Talk Sleeve/Bypass So, I've allowed myself (finally) to step into the world of the WLS support groups. So far I'm doing it online. I didn't go to support groups after my surgery. First of all, because they were so darned inconvenient. I was sleeved in early November. The first meeting my local group had after my surgery was a Thanksgiving meeting at Bob Evans. The LAST thing I wanted to do just weeks out from surgery while I was on nothing but liquids was to sit around watching people eat who were already... Thu, 16 Feb 2017 09:37:44 EST It's Not Monday, But... I am! Checking in! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I wasn't here on Monday because I was stuck in bed with a sinus headache so bad I couldn't be counted on to do ANYTHING. UGH! Still struggling with the congestion and such, but I'm dealing. <BR> <BR> I did finally discover a workout that I wanted to do. Lately it's been difficult to stay motivated in the gym. I want to run, but my knees and hips do... Wed, 15 Feb 2017 15:22:01 EST 200 Pounds GONE! And happier than ever! <img src=""> <BR> Well, here we are ladies and gents! I'm looking at you now from the other side of a 200 pound loss. It was touch and go there for a while, and then all of a sudden the weight of the world (stress of a bad marriage) lifted and I flew past that marker and on to the next and the next! <BR> <BR> Highest Weight: 466.6 <BR> Weight Pre-Pre-Surgery Diet: 437.8 <BR> Weight Day of Surgery: 419.8 <BR> Cur... Fri, 10 Feb 2017 15:08:34 EST Ch-Ch-Changes - 57 Weeks Post-VSG Ooooh, girl! (or boy!) My life has been CRAZY lately. *sigh* Some good, some bad. All of it, I do believe, for the better. If I can just keep my head above water, that is... <BR> <BR> First, and most importantly, the stats: <BR> <BR> Highest Weight: 466.6 <BR> Weight Pre-Pre-Surgery Diet: 437.8 <BR> Weight Day of Surgery: 419.8 <BR> Current Weight: 273.0 <BR> Weight Lost Since Surgery: 146.8 <BR> Weight Lost Since Pre-Pre-Surgery Diet: 164.8 <BR> Total Weight Lost: 193.6 <BR> <BR> ON... Tue, 6 Dec 2016 10:53:00 EST One Year Post-VSG Update! Here it is! The big one! The one year post-VSG blog that I've been looking forward to writing and, yet, haven't prepared any notes for... *lol* I'm a "fly by the seat of my pants" kind of blogger. So, my goal is to give you the stats and then tell you ten things...I'm not sure if that's ten things I've learned, ten things that have changed, ten things I miss,.... let's see what happens, shall we? <BR> <BR> <img src=" Wed, 2 Nov 2016 09:15:45 EST Year Two Goals Tomorrow is One Year. <BR> One Year Post-VSG. <BR> One Year of Life Changing. <BR> One Year of ups and downs and climbs and pitfalls. <BR> Tomorrow I will reflect, but today I am looking forward....because I'm not done yet! <BR> <BR> Here's the Me today... <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <em>192</em> <BR> So right now my goal is to lose another 80 pounds. I need to lose about 8-10 pounds a month to keep up the p... Tue, 1 Nov 2016 09:16:17 EST I DID IT!! - How I Reached My Biggest Goal Yet! <img src=""> <BR> What is that? That's the face of a girl who reached the goal that's been haunting her all of her adult life. <BR> <BR> I still remember the day I first saw 300 on a scale. I was finishing out my senior year of high school and in my second trimester with my first son. I went in for a regular check-up with my OBGYN and all I could think when I saw that big fat 3 was, "Well, here we are..." I ha... Tue, 23 Aug 2016 15:53:05 EST 8 Months Post-VSG: Next Steps <img src=""> <BR> Oh, what a summer it has been! Ups and downs but mostly smiles and sunshine...but then some rain and floods... This has been a difficult month...and a glorious one... <BR> <BR> Stats first. <BR> <BR> HW: 466.6 <BR> Weight Pre-Op: 437.8 (start of pre-op diet) <BR> Last Month: 317.2 <BR> This Week: 312 <BR> <BR> Weight Lost This Month: -5.2 pounds :/ <BR> Weight Lost Since Pre-Op: -125.8 <BR> To... Mon, 4 Jul 2016 23:04:12 EST 7 Months Post-VSG <img src=""> <BR> Hey everyone! That's right - seven months in! Still seeing progress! Happier than ever! (And if you haven't tried Snapchat should! They are amazing! Add me @ehphotog) <BR> <BR> Okay, stats first! <BR> <BR> HW: 466.6 <BR> Weight Pre-Op: 437.8 (start of pre-op diet) <BR> Last Month: 330.2 <BR> This Week: 317.2 <BR> <BR> Weight Lost This Month: -13 pounds! <BR> Weight Lost Since ... Thu, 2 Jun 2016 12:49:04 EST I Wish I Had Time I hear that saying all the time. I heard it just today at lunch. Gee, I wish I had time... <BR> <BR> workout. <BR> eat right. <BR> take care of myself. <BR> <BR> I have something to tell you from all of us making time - SHUT IT. <BR> <BR> Seriously, STOP saying "I just wish I had time..." and using that as an excuse to not do what you want to do in life. First of all, it's an insult to each and every one of us that make time to do those things. When you look at me and... Thu, 12 May 2016 15:58:08 EST Week 25 Post VSG Update Howdy! I know it's been a little while. Please forgive me - life has been active and busy and crazy! They've got me traveling all over the state this month and I haven't had much time to do much of anything...but I'm still on track and doing well with my health and fitness, so that's good! In fact, I'm getting better every day and finally feel like I'm back in control of my life! <BR> <BR> Now, for the stats... <BR> <BR> HW: 466.6 <BR> Starting Weight: 460.6 (1/26/15) <BR> Weight Pr... Tue, 26 Apr 2016 13:29:20 EST Week 20 Post-VSG <img src=""> <BR> Good morning, ladies and gents! It's week 20 post-op from my vertical sleeve gastrectomy and there have been a ton of changes happening around here! <BR> <BR> First, let's get to the stats (which is why most people read these anyhow)! <BR> <BR> HW: 466.6 <BR> Starting Weight: 460.6 (1/26/15) <BR> Weight Pre-Op: 437.8 (start of pre-op diet) <BR> Last Week: 349.6 <BR> This Week: 345.2 <BR> <BR> ... Wed, 23 Mar 2016 10:55:40 EST Week 10 Post-Op VSG <img src=""> Happy Birthday to me! Honestly, 35 was a BIG one for me. Feels a little weird. I'll get over it, I guess. <BR> <BR> So, here's the rundown of last week's madness: <BR> <BR> For my birthday, we went out for Mexican. This was my meal once I was basically done. <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> My Mom gave me $ for makeup, as ... Mon, 11 Jan 2016 09:33:27 EST Week 9 Post-Op VSG <img src=""> <BR> Today I created a vision board. Something I've been meaning to do. Something that helped me more than you can imagine the last time I was in this place. Except...I've never been in this place before. Before I get to the inside goopy stuff I'm dealing with, here's your stat update. <BR> <BR> HW: 466.6 <BR> Starting Weight: 460.6 (1/26/15) <BR> Weight Pre-Op: 437.8 (start of pre-op diet) <BR... Mon, 4 Jan 2016 13:53:53 EST Week 8 - Nearly 2 Months Post-Op Update <img src=""> Okay, who survived the holidays? That's right...THIS GIRL! <BR> <BR> Phew! That was rough! (Not really...) To be completely honest, Christmas was SO much easier than Thanksgiving. I'm a bit further out from surgery and able to eat a little more. I can have a bite of this or that and be satisfied. Did I make some not so great decisions? Sure...but, again, within limits. <BR> <BR> So in the past... Mon, 28 Dec 2015 09:40:55 EST Week 5 Okay, so at official weigh-in day on Monday, my weight had gone back down to what it was the week before. So, the week before last was a gain, but this week was a wash. No gain. No loss. <BR> <BR> Did I call my doctor? Nope. My doctor would tell me to stop worrying so much and just do what was right. I was also afraid, like every other doctor on the planet, he wouldn’t believe that I was sticking to his plan and still gaining weight. It’s stupid, but 30+ years of training… medical pro... Fri, 11 Dec 2015 09:27:39 EST Stalls and Gains Up about another pound. Hating myself. I have no words. Thu, 3 Dec 2015 10:53:36 EST Week Four Post-Op So, Mondays are my weigh-in days. Today marks officially 4 weeks post-op for me. It's been a rough 4 weeks, I can tell you that. <BR> <BR> Here are the stats: <BR> HW: 466.6 <BR> Weight Jan 2015: 460.6 <BR> Weight for Pre-Op Diet: 437.8 <BR> Weight on day of Surgery: 419.8 <BR> Weight Last Week: 391.8 <BR> Weight This Week: 393.2 <BR> <BR> Yeah. That sucks. That's a gain of 1.4 pounds for the week. And I haven't gotten off plan, so I can't tell you why that happened other than my body ... Mon, 30 Nov 2015 10:26:38 EST Three Weeks with Mixed Feelings I am trying so very hard to be positive here. Let's get to the good part and then we'll go from there. <BR> <BR> Highest Weight: 466.6 <BR> Starting Weight: 460.6 <BR> Weight at Pre-Op Diet: 437.8 <BR> Surgery Day Weight: 419.8 <BR> Current Weight (Sunday's Weigh In): 391.8 <BR> <BR> So, how do I do my stats? What numbers do I count? This is how I've been handling it. <BR> <BR> Weight lost since pre-op diet: 46 pounds <BR> Weight lost in 2015: 68.8 pounds <BR> Total weight lost: 74.8 po... Tue, 24 Nov 2015 12:55:00 EST Well, That Didn't Work! So, Monday I thought I was doing well. I toughed it out at work. Fell asleep at my desk a time or two, but woke my butt up and tried to occupy myself with things. It didn't help that I started off the day with bad news that money I've been trying to get for 2 years just ran out for this fiscal year. No word yet on when the next fiscal year begins but we're all afraid it's July 1. It's bad news for at least 3 clients that were counting on this help and the end to countless hours of work I... Wed, 18 Nov 2015 09:18:00 EST On the Other Side So, I know I've been gone for a while. No worries! Not dead yet! (...think I'll go for a walk <em>20</em> ) <BR> <BR> Things have been moving a little fast and furious, so let me see if I can give you all the rundown. <BR> <BR> January 26, 2015 - Weighed in at the doctor's at 460.6. Only 6 pounds off my heighest ever recorded weight - which was recorded back in 2004 when I was on my way to try to get gastric bypass surgery. This doctor's check-in was to start a insurance required pr... Mon, 16 Nov 2015 09:32:18 EST Finally! Made it through this weekend! UGH! <BR> <BR> So, one thing my kids and husband will tell you is that I don't like to sit still. That's why I have a full-time job PLUS operate my own business. Half the time I feel like I'm just running in circles and not getting anything done. Even more frustrating when I'm battling these pains from my broken body. <BR> <BR> I had a full week of work last week. I have a booked week this week (except Friday). And this weekend...I had photography assignm... Mon, 10 Aug 2015 09:31:32 EST Another Week Gone I swear time is moving so slowly right now as I await some word from the surgeon's office...and I haven't even had my consultation yet! <BR> <BR> So, yes, we switched insurance carriers to hopefully speed things up. If I've done my homework right (pretty sure I have), I should be pushed on through with Aetna. I have a couple final little things to clean up to get my insurance dropped (had to have proof from Aetna that we had coverage before my work will drop mine - I got cards yesterday!)... Fri, 7 Aug 2015 14:02:22 EST Or...Not. *sigh* Guys. I don't know how much more I can take. I'm being 100% honest here. I am not trying to overreact, but the level of my frustration can no longer be measured. <BR> <BR> My husband called the insurance company Monday to get our group and member ID number so I could give it to my chiropractor for insurance processing, only to be told that his request for coverage hadn't been "inputted" yet. His work has it on file. Coverage was backdated to 7/16/15, but someone in their office ... Wed, 29 Jul 2015 08:55:02 EST Anxiously Awaiting Thursday. <BR> <BR> Thursday is a day that could alter everything. <BR> <BR> And I'm freaking the heck out over it! <BR> <BR> Once we switched our insurance, I called up the surgeon's office and asked if I could go ahead and get my consultation with the surgeon. That consultation is scheduled for 8am this Thursday. <BR> <BR> I have to say that I'm nervous. Not about the surgery, really. But a bunch of other things. <BR> <BR> * I'm nervous it won't work out again. What if I got all my... Mon, 27 Jul 2015 11:31:17 EST Hows About an Update? Hey, everyone! *waves* <BR> <BR> Okay, so I've been a BAD girl and I haven't been logging into Spark and logging my calories here and blogging and all that. On the upside? I've been logging everything at My Fitness Pal and logging it all in my EC Life Planner. <BR> <BR> So, how are things going? Well, I hate to jinx it and say well, but...Well, actually. Here are the updates: <BR> <BR> Diet - Okay, so at my last monthly weigh in with my doctor my weight hadn't budged. What she didn't... Thu, 23 Jul 2015 09:28:47 EST NSV - Gym When You Don't Want To! Yesterday was one of those overly tired sore days. One of those days when you think, "Why am I awake?" <BR> <BR> My plan and my planner said I was supposed to go to the gym and I told myself about 12 times, "I REALLY don't want to." I was hurting and sore and my body was telling me to rest. <BR> <BR> I didn't listen. <BR> <BR> I went to the gym. Thanks to Shane for pushing me to do that. (He just sent me a message halfway through the day saying, "I'm excited about the gym later!" so ... Tue, 30 Jun 2015 09:10:02 EST Gym - CHECK! Hello lovelies! I know it's been a little while. I've been doing my best, working hard, and reevaluating every bit of my life in the past few months. It's exhausting! <BR> <BR> <em>216</em> <BR> I joined a gym! Shane and I went out to look at a few places in the city here where we work and see if there was anything we liked. Because he is starting a new job soon and his vow to work out with me will be impossible to fulfill most days, we settled on Planet Fitness. It's $20 a month f... Mon, 29 Jun 2015 10:54:35 EST Under the Weather Ugh! So sick of being sick! I've had the same sinus infection for 2 weeks now and I'm SO over it! The first week it made me lose 8 pounds, the second week I gained back 7 of those. *sigh* #annoyed <BR> <BR> Official weigh-in is next Monday and I'd like to lose 3 pounds by then, but with being sick and the stress, I may not make it. Still, I'm going to give myself the best chance I have. <BR> <BR> I've planned out most of my meals between now and Saturday. Still stuck on Saturday lunc... Thu, 11 Jun 2015 09:59:49 EST Ready for the Gym? This weekend was a crazy mess. One more week and then things should calm down just a bit. Actually...a LOT. I'm looking forward to it and to getting super serious about my weight loss and my own journey of self-discovery. <BR> <BR> Update from last post. I did tell the ex that I would not file for divorce yet. I told him I am also not getting back together with him right now. I did tell him that I would try to spend some time with him now and again and give him the opportunity to liste... Mon, 8 Jun 2015 11:43:56 EST It's All a Hot Mess As my kids tell me...if you're going to be a least you're hot! *lol* <BR> <BR> All weekend I had a sore throat. I pushed through it and accomplished a LOT. Had a good walk into work on Monday. Noticed my legs are carrying me better again. Was feeling good. <BR> <BR> Slept pretty much ALL of Tuesday and Thursday thanks to a brilliantly timed sinus infection. *sigh* <BR> <BR> Tuesday I get some annoying texts from the ex...which I ignored and promptly fell back asleep...and t... Fri, 5 Jun 2015 09:29:11 EST A Good Weekend My legs and abs are sore...that's always a good thing after a productive weekend. <BR> <BR> This was the first weekend I've had off from my photography business in a long time. (And I have graduation and a family shoot this weekend so...) I decided to go ahead and do what I needed to do to get my bedroom in order. I have been wanting to paint and redecorate the room so that I have my own private little sanctuary that doesn't remind me of the ex and gives me a little bit of peace. I als... Mon, 1 Jun 2015 09:27:24 EST One Good Day Deserves Another Yesterday was alright. I did alright. I forced myself through. I'm getting better. <BR> <BR> I sat down and wrote out plans. Money is going to be even tighter this week and next, but I'm honestly trying to just give myself permission and forgiveness for not being able to do everything all at once. Going down to one income. Taking on most of the bills. And then most of my bills went up this month for some strange reason. $10-20 is not that much, but when it happens the same month on li... Fri, 29 May 2015 09:31:58 EST Time to Get Serious Yesterday was my very first counseling session I can remember since the split where I didn't bawl my eyes out. I nearly teared up twice, but not a single tear fell. I went in thinking I needed help in trying to figure out how to move on, but in talking it out with my therapist I realized I'm already doing that...and I'm pretty good at it. I recongize that I'm a resilient person. I've always had to be. My childhood was nothing I would wish on anyone and my entire life has been a series of... Thu, 28 May 2015 09:16:12 EST