CAKEMAKERMOM's SparkPeople Blog CAKEMAKERMOM's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community "I'm not that fat" and other excuses I went to the doctor again today because I've been bleeding for a month (give or take) now. I wanted something done about it, so we got me on some birth control pills to "reset" my system. <BR> <BR> While the conversation went on, I started to panic a little. Once again he was blaming my fat for the issues. I don't think it has *that* much to do with any of my health problems, it's more likely age related, but he kept on telling me that the weight probably had something to do with it too. <B... Fri, 19 Dec 2014 14:07:42 EST And they changed my start page again I'm not sure what's up with the Spark webpage editors, but once again they changed it. I know I'm not the only person that has a hard time with change. <BR> <BR> I'll admit that I like the light background vs the dark lettering, it's easier to read. The thing is that once a year this website changes it's front page for us and it throws everyone off for a while. I'm searching for the things I've been clicking for the last year again. I know I'll find them, but I will be off kilter more than I... Thu, 18 Dec 2014 10:14:52 EST And I went to the doctor I do feel more informed about my body this week. I may not have solved the problem yet, but we're keeping an eye on things to see if they improve on their own. Basically he said as long as we're not worried about being anemic, it's fine that I'm still bleeding 2 1/2 weeks later. <BR> <BR> He did order up some testing and I got an ultrasound, but that proved again that I'm normal. So now we wait. <BR> <BR> The big things that did happen was that I stepped on the scale and it isn't liking me ... Thu, 11 Dec 2014 11:39:56 EST This must be the year for the body to break down. I'll admit that I haven't been doing nearly as much activity as I did the previous year. My Mom has been getting on me about it since we're Fitbit pals. <BR> <BR> That is only part of the issue. Oh, this might be another tmi blog, so you may want to stop here if you don't want to hear about girly problems. <BR> <BR> <BR> I'm 38. Still fairly young on the going into menopause age. Sure, it's possible I'm in the very beginning stages, but that peri-menopause thing could have easily started i... Tue, 2 Dec 2014 10:32:42 EST An exciting Sunday! I was able to sleep in a bit and get into the shower in the morning. I was worrying about how to get the cake ready for the party I was having at one of my friend's home. <BR> <BR> I just got out of the shower (fortunately I was rinsed off and drying) when the fire alarms were going off. At this point I hadn't even eaten breakfast. We looked around to see why they were going off (I live in an apartment building) and found out that the ones in the hall were going off too. So we evacuated. Wi... Mon, 24 Nov 2014 14:20:09 EST So much dessert! I'm planning out the dinners for the week of American Thanksgiving. My daughter is also turning 10 on Friday. This means, for this year, we're having 3 days of desserts! Oh my... <BR> <BR> I have pie for Thanksgiving, cake on her birthday and cake again to bring to her grandparents house. 3 days in a row of dessert! <BR> <BR> Normally we're lucky if I make a dessert a week, I mean it's not necessary, and most times it's not even nutritious. The sugar added in the pumpkin pie negates the be... Fri, 21 Nov 2014 11:45:28 EST Paying for it in the end. Warning, this may be gross to some. A TMI blog.*** <BR> <BR> <BR> The past couple of weeks, I've been a little stressed. It's probably all in my head, I've been putting off normal duties and the house has been paying for it. I'm not a fan of housework, so I've been ignoring it, but also being frustrated with myself for not just getting it done. <BR> <BR> Also, my mother just had eye surgery (again!) to correct a new issue in one of her eyes, making this the second surgery for her second ey... Thu, 20 Nov 2014 10:51:31 EST Powerful, not powerless I was watching "The Dr's" yesterday on TV and they had a 500 pound lady on the show. They way they were treating her was not the way I'd want to be treated. They were telling her she was powerless to an addiction, but I feel it's not true and I probably would have ran away from the treatment center too. <BR> <BR> Yes, we still need to eat and yes, it's harder to eat healthy things when you're not used to it, but you are not powerless to it. I could never go to a 12-step program simply becaus... Tue, 18 Nov 2014 11:11:57 EST Snow Yes, snow in November. Everyone's freaking out! It's like it's something abnormal... Wait, this is Minnesota and not really unusual, we've just gotten used to not having to shovel until December lately. It's not like we got two feet of snow on Halloween this year. <BR> <BR> This is a good reason to be healthy all year long. When you need to shovel, you need to be in good shape to begin with. Many people end up in the hospital from snow shoveling related health problems. Some of it comes fro... Tue, 11 Nov 2014 11:45:13 EST Detailed View I've gotten used to being able to click the "See more blog entries" button and see them all in detailed view. It helped me see the week's worth of blogs with all the comments under it, but today I went to click on my "detailed view" and saw the teaser of each entry instead. <BR> <BR> I'm not sure if it's jut me, but I have a hard time with certain changes, especially when they've been the thing I'm used to for the last few years. I'd love a heads up for any change that happens, I hate the am... Mon, 10 Nov 2014 14:25:59 EST Mid-term election today in the United States I voted today. I was #143 at 9am. <BR> <BR> It is as important to vote today as it is in a presidential election year. This year many congress people and governors are up for election. This can help or hinder the way the government has been talking to each other lately. <BR> <BR> It may not seem important, simply because there is no president to elect today, but it may actually count more. There was a long list for me to fill in my little circles. (MN still has paper ballots, great thing fo... Tue, 4 Nov 2014 10:39:08 EST Motivator of the Day. Apparently I've been so motivational that, despite having my page become motivational over a year ago, I am also a motivational person of the day. (Perhaps this is a new thing they do?) <BR> <BR> I haven't done anything special. I have been honest about how things go, good some days, not so good others. Yes, I lost some weight. I've kept most of it off. I admit not being able to stay at my lowest weight since I started, but I never gained it all back. <BR> <BR> I've gone through a lot of t... Mon, 3 Nov 2014 10:08:43 EST Figuring myself out Since the big revelation last week, I've been focusing on things that I've done that may not help me. I realize that I try to help other people out all the time, putting myself on the back burner frequently. When I'm doing that, I tend to get frustrated that I am not taken care of. <BR> <BR> It seems that I try to help people out, but no one (besides my husband and parents) ever helps me out (granted, I do have one good friend that would drop everything to help me). (Okay, that's 4 people, p... Thu, 23 Oct 2014 12:13:28 EST Finally! I know why I'm so weird. As many of you may know, I've been going to a therapist for months now. Going back farther though, I have always been a little "different". My mother even took me to a specialist as a teenager and we got a diagnosis then, but I don't think it was the right one. <BR> <BR> Yesterday my therapist told me I likely have Asperger's syndrome. When she told me that it made so much sense! That would also be the reason I never had a proper diagnosis as a kid and so many issues in school. I have been o... Thu, 16 Oct 2014 10:17:17 EST Frustration = Not as good food choices. I have many things going on. Perhaps I'm making them bigger in my head than they really are, but this week is just getting to me. <BR> <BR> I tried to reach out to a local group that was trying to bring awareness to mental health with a 5k. That's great that they were doing the 5k and other little things they did to go along with it, but in the process they decided to do a balloon release. 300 bright yellow balloons with that plastic string were released. I tried to get them to change their ... Tue, 14 Oct 2014 11:08:24 EST I was told it's a candy month. While I was at that party this weekend, I was reminded that it's a candy month. We came upon talking about it because we were enjoying the dessert table (brownies and cheesecakes and dips galore!) and I wasn't even thinking about this being the month of candy. <BR> <BR> I have decided that we're not giving out candy this year. We only get a few kids anyhow, so it's not worth keeping the candy in the house. This would normally be a hard month for me because I'd have to repurchase bags of cand... Wed, 8 Oct 2014 11:00:57 EST Feeling better. Last week I felt like falling over all week. It all of a sudden left my body on Friday, just in time for me to go to a party the next day. The blood work I had from the doctor came back "normal". There was one number that I thought was a bit too high for my body, but hopefully the next time I need to go in it will be back in the normal range. <BR> <BR> I was not eating breakfast all weekend, but now I'm back on the breakfast kick. Not eating breakfast throws me off. Two-bite brownies for bre... Mon, 6 Oct 2014 11:35:24 EST Body work. I've been feeling pretty yucky this week. I thought it might be something that would go away on it's own, but since last week, really this weekend, I've been feeling weak and tired, so I made myself a doctor's appointment. Sadly, it's for the afternoon, so thinking ahead for any blood work that may happen, you know it needs to generally be fasting, a 1:30 in the afternoon appointment will be tough for me since I'm in the habit of eating on a schedule, with breakfast being most important for m... Tue, 30 Sep 2014 12:54:26 EST What's working, what's not. Although I've been doing this for quite a while now, there are weeks that are good and weeks that aren't so good. <BR> <BR> My home is still in chaos, but I'm working on it. An organized home is a healthy one. I'm waiting for the monkeys for the Little People train I'll be selling for my mom, when that is done, it'll free up a lot of my living room space. Despite this big thing that's taking up room, I'm keeping a list every day of what I'm getting done. Some days have longer lists than oth... Mon, 29 Sep 2014 16:14:21 EST Steppin' it up! Since school started, I've been getting out more. The past couple of weeks I've gotten out with my mom and am walking to appointments in town. It's getting my step count up quite a bit and bringing my average back up to what it was last year before everything went wrong. I'm back up over 6,000 steps on average. I've been getting a high step day at least once a week, with it being over 12,000 the past couple of weeks. I'm hoping to get this step count to keep on staying up. <BR> <BR> It helps... Thu, 25 Sep 2014 13:57:12 EST Nutella and Ice Cream and Pop Tarts Oh My! The last couple of weeks I have not been eating as well as I could. Instead of a ton of fruits and veggies in the house, there is a lot of processed stuff. Some of it is because mom was helping out with kids snacks. Some of it is because the budget is making it hard to have fresh stuff all the time right now. Some of it is because I'm impulse buying. <BR> <BR> This is proof that eating is 80% of healthy weight loss/maintenance. I've gone back up 10 pounds. I'm not sure what it is about this ... Mon, 22 Sep 2014 14:15:29 EST Checking in. I'm not blogging as much as I used to and you can't expect daily blogging from me anymore, but this last week I was forced to stop because of lack of internet. It's tough when the phone company wants all of its money and I just don't have it. Now it's running again and here I am. <BR> <BR> I was able to go grocery shopping this week, managing to save a lot of money in coupons, but have spent the entire budget for the month. I hope I did well enough to have a months worth of food this time (I... Mon, 15 Sep 2014 16:01:10 EST Nice scale. When I checked back in earlier this week I said I had gained 5 pounds back. That was true a couple of weeks ago when I stepped on the scale last. I just hopped on the scale, in the middle of the day at that, and it said I'm only up 3 pounds instead. <BR> <BR> Despite not tracking my food or taking the pictures lately, I'm obviously back on the right track. Being back in the swing of school and having the house back to myself I'm not as obsessed with food. I'm more obsessed with getting the h... Fri, 5 Sep 2014 15:21:09 EST Feeling judged. I thought it was going to be a good thing, having so many parents at the bus stop. Instead, I'm still the only parent yelling at the kids (mostly mine and parentless kids) so they stopped running back and forth on the road (they get picked up in a parks parking lot, so the road isn't as busy as a street, but still has a lot of cars traveling it during that time), despite 5 of us parents being there. <BR> <BR> While trying to corral those kids (most of them I knew from the previous years, so ... Thu, 4 Sep 2014 10:27:12 EST Getting back into the swing of things. It's day 3 back on Spark after my break and day 2 of back to school. Slowly I'm getting back into the healthy habits I had. I had over 10,000 steps yesterday and I'm already over 6,000 steps today. <em>363</em> <BR> <BR> I have still been working with my therapist and we've agreed that I'm getting much farther than I was a few months with getting back to the real me. Despite all the stresses that keep on coming my way, I'm still managing to make sure I'm not getting overwhelmed by all of... Wed, 3 Sep 2014 16:12:04 EST First day of school! It's that time again! I'm feeling on top of it! I got the kids off to school, having made them eggs and orange juice before we walked up to the school. Tomorrow they'll ride the bus, but I needed pictures at the school of their first day outfits. <BR> <BR> It looks like there might be one other bus mom at the stop tomorrow, but I never believe the influx of parents at the stop on the first day. I have yet to hold onto someone else to back me up at the stop with all the kids that aren't paren... Tue, 2 Sep 2014 11:16:23 EST The mind works in mysterious ways. I feel like I've been extra crazy lately. Everything was just too overwhelming for me, so I took a break from Spark. When I said I was taking a break, I wasn't sure if I was pregnant or not (I'm not). I hate that I'm still fertile since I'm content with the ages of my children and the spot we're in now. Just the thought of still being able to get pregnant is still an issue. *Stress* <BR> <BR> I'm stress eating, so I've gained 5 pounds back in the last month. That's not hard to do. <BR> <BR>... Mon, 1 Sep 2014 11:57:37 EST Taking a break. I have been blogging diligently for the last 2.5 years. <BR> <BR> Right now there are some things going on that isn't as dramatic as my son being in the hospital, but I really just need a break for a couple of weeks from Spark. I'll be back in a couple of weeks after I've had time to reset myself. <BR> <BR> I know that I have many people that read this daily and enjoy what I have to say. I promise I'll be back soon. I love this site! I just need to work on what needs to be a priority right... Sat, 9 Aug 2014 19:39:58 EST Thursday, Positive Focus, Day 99 The kids managed to get their rooms done by the end of the day. I had them going through their clothes to find out what could come out of the closet and what needed to be replaced by the time school started. Fortunately only some jeans and shoes are in need this year. They've got a lot of shirts and my daughter has enough skirts. I'm glad I don't need to get a whole new wardrobe for them. <BR> <BR> The only thing I really needed to do was a load of laundry so my daughter had her easiest to g... Fri, 8 Aug 2014 19:01:49 EST Wednesday, Positive Focus, Day 98 I'm finding that I'm having a lot more lazy days than usual. The most I'm doing is supervising the kids going through their clothes so that we can decide what they really need for back to school in a few weeks. I had grocery money today, so I did get out at the end of the day and do some grocery shopping, but I'll wait until the weekend for the rest of my major shopping. It takes small steps to get to the final product, and this is making sure my home is school day organized again. We'll be p... Thu, 7 Aug 2014 14:36:30 EST Tuesday, Positive Focus, Day 97 Today was national "Night to Unite" (also called "National Night Out", but some places don't use that name because I heard they need to pay for that use). During the day we worked on laundry and by the end of the day we realized that we were going to be able to eat dinner for free. Since I live near a park, that's where our night out was. I did manage to chat with a couple of neighbors, but I pretty much still don't know most of them. The kids had fun playing in the bouncy house, the hamster ... Wed, 6 Aug 2014 14:28:25 EST Monday, Positive Focus, Day 96 My headache was more or less gone. At the very least it wasn't as horrible as the first day, I really didn't notice it anymore. I was in the mood to finish off the sculpting part of my statue and get it dried out. I didn't have enough of certain colors, so I ended up walking into town since the kids were off with the grandparents for the day. <BR> <BR> For some reason I was really hungry all day long. Breakfast didn't fill me like it usually does. <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeopl... Tue, 5 Aug 2014 15:44:47 EST Sunday, Positive Focus, Day 95 Although I had a bad migraine, it wasn't so bad that I couldn't sit and do work. I managed to finish off the molding of the main character, he just needs his rock to sit on before I dry him. I hope to have it at least that far done by the end of Monday. <BR> <BR> Fortunately my husband took care of some of the things that needed to be done while I was out. I ended up taking a nap, but it didn't help get rid of the pain. <BR> <BR> I did manage to eat well all day. I started out with my norma... Mon, 4 Aug 2014 14:05:33 EST Saturday, Positive Focus, Day 94 I was invited to a party today! I decided to go this time. My husband managed to be well enough to go with me and he watched our son while we were there so I could gab with a couple of friends I haven't seen in 20 years. I tried to aim there during the time the pig was supposed to come off the colas, but it didn't make it off until 2 hours after we were told it would be ready, so I ended up snacking while we were there instead of eating a proper meal. In the end I had a good time, even if I w... Sun, 3 Aug 2014 12:29:33 EST Friday, Positive Focus, Day 93 I actually had the energy and motivation to keep on cleaning the house. I managed some floors and the living room is walkable again. It's surprising what one can do when they have their eyes off a screen. I did end up on the computer for longer than I'd like, but did stop at a point and didn't go back. <BR> <BR> By the end of the day I also finished off a new head and started on the clothes for the sculpture that is about half-way finished. Hopefully I can get that done by the end of the wee... Sat, 2 Aug 2014 19:37:45 EST Thursday, Positive Focus, Day 92 The house is slowly getting back in shape. I managed to clean the bathrooms and got the dishes done. The front closet is no longer overflowing and is organized again. I even swept the closet and took out some stuff I haven't worn in years. One can only wear so many jackets in a year, now I just have a few, one for each season. <BR> <BR> Someone was moving out and I happened to need to leave the house today, so having gone to the garbage, I discovered a jalapeno plant sitting there, not in th... Fri, 1 Aug 2014 15:05:15 EST Wednesday, Positive Focus, Day 91 I've decided to make strides into working back to a normal me. I'm not going to log my food anymore since I do so well with the picture taking that I don't need to check the calories so closely. That will free up time from the computer so that I can get things done around the house again. I've been falling behind on the housework, so ignoring the computer more or less will allow me to be free from that burden. I'm guilty of being hooked to the screen too long and my home shows it. <BR> <BR> ... Thu, 31 Jul 2014 13:10:35 EST Tuesday, Positive Focus, Day 90 Scale day again! It's being a pain since it was a pound lighter the day before, but my scale does that to me frequently. It was a half pound lighter than the week before, so that's a good thing. For being so sedentary this week, I'm glad it's going that direction. <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I've been sleeping in a bit, so breakfast has been later than usual. It's still a priority in my day. Calories: 415 <BR> <img src="http://photos-a... Wed, 30 Jul 2014 16:19:23 EST Monday, Positive Focus, Day 89 I managed fewer online hours, but that didn't get me off my butt. I wasn't feeling all that great so I stayed sitting for much of the day. I took the day to work on my sculpting hobby some more for the day. I got a new head started and hope to have the whole thing done by next week. It's calming creating with clay. I just need to put down the new game that has me enthralled, it's a monkey popping balloons game, I'm sure I'll be tired of it withing a week. <BR> <BR> I had my normal breakfast.... Tue, 29 Jul 2014 18:33:45 EST Sunday, Positive Focus, Day 88 It was another quiet day around the house. The boys ran out for a while and my daughter went to grandma's house. <BR> <BR> I got some more work done on one of my sculptures, my new hobby. My husband laughed at me when I started working on it's butt. Hopefully it will work out and I can dry it properly. I seem to be good at the sculpting part, but our oven ruins a lot of things. I have a feeling that if I can get it done right, I'll be able to do enough of it and open an Etsy store to start ... Mon, 28 Jul 2014 14:43:51 EST Saturday, Positive Focus, Day 87 Upon waking, I knew I needed to get my bugs into my garden. It's much healthier to let free some predator bugs to get rid of the ones that want to eat your plants. I've never understood why I'd need to put poison on my plants to kill off the bugs so I could eat them, wouldn't I be eating poison too? If only large farms would do this too. Ladybugs make me happy. <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I had breakfast right after I let my ladybugs ou... Sun, 27 Jul 2014 16:16:02 EST Friday, Positive Focus, Day 86 I woke up in a good mood, having slept in a bit. I was planning on getting a bunch of stuff done. Then I walked out of the bedroom and saw my husband home. There went all my plans and the good mood. <BR> <BR> We did manage to get the kids out to a park in the afternoon to let them run off some energy. I tried to find some GeoCaches, but failed in the attempt. I wasn't about to walk in waist high weeds, I'll go back when the grass dies in the fall. I can't find them all, but I try to enjoy th... Sat, 26 Jul 2014 19:21:36 EST Thursday, Positive Focus, Day 85 It ended up being a quiet day where I didn't do much. The computer sucked me into a lot of games for the day. I had therapy appointments for all of us at the end of the day, so I was able to get some stuff out that needed to be out. I'm hoping that we'll have some tools for me the next time I see her so I don't have any more panic attacks, I've never had them before this year and now I've had 2. It's a scary thing and I couldn't imagine what all the incoming troops have to go through since I ... Fri, 25 Jul 2014 12:47:37 EST Wednesday, Positive Focus, Day 84 Although I started my day out with high anxiety, as the day went on, I managed to relax enough to do some stuff with my daughter. Fortunately it was just her some and not both kids or I probably wouldn't have been able to relax as well. We even managed to get the laundry done, only 4 loads this week! The end of the day helped calm me too as my husband put on some of our Dr. Who we've been watching, he keeps borrowing some of the ones from the library we can't see on Netflix. Now we're really ... Thu, 24 Jul 2014 12:42:04 EST Tuesday, Positive Focus, Day 83 Weigh in day again. I'm not sure what happened that I not only didn't lose any weight between scale days, but gained a little. I'm sure that it will go away, it's not uncommon for my body to hold on for a week, then drop a couple of pounds the next week, no matter how I'm eating and exercising. This week the scale went up. It actually as telling me .2 of a pound less until I stepped on the scale for the 4th time to take the picture. Naturally it didn't want to look good. I'm sure that I'll ha... Wed, 23 Jul 2014 15:27:43 EST Monday, Positive Focus, Day 82 Monday was a pretty calm day. The kids were cooperative and played quietly all day long. They did things I asked them to do when I asked them to do it. I was the first apartment in the annual fire code check, so that was over quickly. The air conditioners were working well enough that I did not feel the heat and humidity that finally showed up for the season. I was able to just chill all day long. <BR> <BR> I had breakfast early enough in the day. The cranberry nut blend seems to be lower i... Tue, 22 Jul 2014 14:15:00 EST Sunday, Positive Focus, Day 81 One of my friends had a party today! It was a welcome home party for her husband since he's been home for about a month now and is strong enough to handle that many people at once. I'm sure he was still a little confused with that many people and not knowing which people he knew before his stroke, but he seems fairly healthy for what he went through at this point. I got to see some of my friends I don't see often and the kids had fun playing with others and making s'mores. <BR> <BR> I just ... Mon, 21 Jul 2014 13:08:04 EST Saturday, Positive Focus, Day 80 I've discovered a new craft I want to get into, so we went out and picked up some starter supplies. I'm going to start doing clay molds. Hopefully one of these day's I'll also manage to start putting my products out there, so I better get on top of something. I know many people do clay jewelry around here, but I am going to do little figurines because I like fantasy creatures. My husband went out with us and we ended up in a couple of places I wasn't planning on going, but that's okay, when h... Sun, 20 Jul 2014 15:33:32 EST Friday, Positive Focus, Day 79 It was my children's well check day. The doctor's diagnosis, they're giggly. Somehow they both shrunk, so I think their measuring tool was off. Otherwise my kids are both healthy for the moment, hopefully we won't have to see their doctor again until next year. <BR> <BR> That meant I needed to get up to have the car again, but that was fine, I just ended up taking a lot of naps. I am not a morning person, nor will I ever be. <BR> <BR> After my first nap of the day, I had breakfast. Just the... Sat, 19 Jul 2014 18:18:41 EST Thursday, Positive Focus, Day 78 Here I am on day 921 of my Spark journey. I'm still upset that I missed a log in day, so I'm only at day 319 of my current streak. I only missed that because we were going between hospitals trying to figure out what was wrong with my son, so this current streak keeps reminding me of that. It's the only day I've missed logging into this site. <BR> <BR> I did manage to get some stuff done around the house I've been meaning to do. Now we can get under the kids' bathroom sink without it being a ... Fri, 18 Jul 2014 12:14:38 EST