BONNIJEAN's SparkPeople Blog BONNIJEAN's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Conflict Resolutions Concepts Applied to Relationships with Food I'm reading a book for professional development at work entitled Negotiating the Nonnegotiable. As I'm reading through the book, I find myself thinking of other applications. While the book specifically addresses relationships with other people, I can see parallels to my relationship with food. In Chapter 5, the author Daniel Shapiro explains Repetition Compulsion as "a dysfunctional pattern that you feel driven to repeat." <BR> <BR> As soon as I read this I thought about my relationship, no... Wed, 28 Sep 2016 15:53:54 EST I found a new place for short walks! I mentor a teen who is in foster care. Yesterday I got a call saying that she really needed to talk. I called the group home's office to get permission, and the director suggested a small river side park nearby. It was perfect. We could walk. We could sit side-by-side and watch the river (better for listening to teens because less eye contact). The sound of the water and the shade made it perfect. <BR> <BR> It's a little out of the way for me to just go there from my house, but it is perfe... Sat, 24 Sep 2016 18:25:56 EST 5 to 10 percent - I have a new goal! I finally asked my doctor what it would take for me to go off of my medication. She said 5-10 percent weight reduction. Hmm. Her math was a little off, and she suggested that it could take a year or two. <BR> <BR> I believe that 5 percent is possible before my next check in January and 10 percent by the following check in May. <BR> <BR> What am I doing to make that goal achievable? <BR> <BR> Walking - in fact I've walked both yesterday and today <BR> Focus on healthful foods - I've been w... Thu, 15 Sep 2016 12:11:41 EST Pounds vs Pokeman I don't know how long Pokeman will hold my interest, but it's motivating me to move. <BR> <BR> My daughters talked me into installing the game on my phone. I have done more walking than I planned on just to catch the critters. <BR> <BR> My husband who is sort of anti-gaming actually likes the game even though he doesn't play because I go with him when he is walking the dog. Wed, 13 Jul 2016 15:10:30 EST Supporting someone fighting anxiety and depression I'm parenting a teen struggling with anxiety and depression. I am doing my best to be loving and supporting, but I feel like I'm not adequate. There are so many conflicting opinions. Plus I have to consider the level of cooperation. I find myself turning to food when I should be turning to a quick walk. I'm gaining weight despite setting a new goal. Sun, 29 May 2016 15:53:11 EST New Goal Spring and Summer Goal - 16 pounds <BR> Goal Date - August 11 <BR> Exercise Strategy - more steps, more walks, strength training <BR> Food Strategy - reduce use of sugar and sweeteners, continue eating gluten-free, more organic food, less processed food Thu, 21 Apr 2016 09:32:12 EST Previous Introduction Text How many new beginnings will it take to actually be successful? Well, at least one more. I'm doing the Spark Start challenge this time. <BR> <BR> I have been sidetracked by injury and arthritis. I have regained all of the weight I lost a few years ago. <BR> <BR> What's different? <BR> A new book with recipes and encouragement? <BR> A SparkTeam with people to help me? <BR> <BR> Honestly, I've had those things before, so what's different this time. <BR> <BR> Knowledge that it has worked be... Thu, 21 Apr 2016 09:11:29 EST Resetting the Goal I am inspired by people who stick with a plan and have a large weight loss. <BR> <BR> I revisited my goals, adjusted the amount to lose per week, and set a new target date. Yes, I'd love to do it faster, but I really want to do it no matter how long it takes. Sun, 30 Aug 2015 17:49:43 EST Summer Gratitudes 1. I'm glad my knee replacement surgery and recuperation has gone well. I enjoy being able to walk without pain. <BR> 2. I'm glad that watermelon exists and that I get to enjoy it in the summer. <BR> 3. I enjoy my job and my coworkers <BR> 4. I have a loving family. <BR> 5. I have friends. Sun, 19 Jul 2015 16:15:38 EST First Walk at Work My employer has started a "Walk on Wednesday" program that allows employees to stay on the clock and walk on Wednesday afternoon for up to an hour. <BR> <BR> Yesterday was my first time participating. It was very hot, very humid, and very sunny. I was able to walk 1.25 miles in about 40 minutes. <BR> <BR> I can tell that is progress. Six months ago (pre joint replacement) I would not have been able to do half of that walking because the pain was exhausting. <BR> <BR> Next week, I'm going ... Thu, 9 Jul 2015 22:32:15 EST I am so glad The surgery and recovery have been a difficult process, but I am definitely happy with the results. <BR> <BR> Before the surgery, I would be exhausted walking the short distance from my car in the parking lot to my desk. Last week, I went to IKEA with my daughter. I would have taken shortcuts, but she wanted to see everything. If you have ever been to an IKEA store, you know that seeing the entire store involves a lot of walking. And I did it without the crushing exhaustion! <BR> <BR> I wou... Sun, 24 May 2015 15:47:14 EST Eight Weeks Yesterday I went to the DMV. After standing in line for a few minutes, I realized I had left the title in the car. Before surgery, I would have been so discouraged. Walking back to the car would have been a big deal. However, I went to the car, got the title, got back in line, stood for a much longer time than I could have managed before. It's something that no one else would notice, but I can totally tell the difference. Tue, 5 May 2015 19:46:56 EST Seven Weeks My physical therapist is very pleased with my progress. Today I could bend at 115° and could straighten to 3°. The goal is to reach 120+°. <BR> <BR> Like many other things in life, physical therapy is hard, but very rewarding. When I bend my knees during the exercises, sometimes it feels as if the skin covering my knee will burst open. It hasn't happened, and my range of motion is so much better. <BR> <BR> Note to self: stick with the hard things in other areas of life to see positive re... Tue, 28 Apr 2015 13:28:56 EST Slipping Before I had knee surgery, I was at my highest weight ever. Then after the surgery, my weight was still high, probably because of all the IV fluids. But as I became more mobile, I dropped 12 pounds in 3 weeks. Dropping the weight so fast gave me a false sense of how much sugar I could consume. I've been treating myself to too many desserts. My thinking has gone like this. "I'm in pain, and I deserve this treat," "Physical Therapy took a lot out of me, I'm sure I've burned off enough calories ... Mon, 27 Apr 2015 10:56:31 EST Getting more flexible every day Physical therapy is making a difference. It is very hard at the time, but the benefits very much outweigh the discomfort. <BR> <BR> When I first came home, ordinary things such as getting in and out of bed were challenging. Now, for the most part, such movements are no big deal. Getting in and out of the car still takes some thought, but I can go up and down the stairs normally instead of one step at a time. <BR> <BR> I am making progress. I am grateful for the improvement. Fri, 24 Apr 2015 16:43:24 EST Six weeks I can definitely tell the difference in my mobility since I came home from the hospital. I rarely use my cane, and I barely take pain medicine. <BR> <BR> I still tire easily, and have difficulty bending my knee or straightening it completely. <BR> <BR> My physical therapist applied Kineseo tape. It seems to be helping with the swelling. At least it is a pretty color. <BR> <img src=""> Mon, 20 Apr 2015 20:40:54 EST Day 33 The evenings seem to be the worse. The swelling gets to the point where I can barely bend my knee and the pain seems more bothersome. However, I can tell I'm making progress by the reduced amount of pain medicine I need. Sat, 11 Apr 2015 12:30:39 EST Day 32 after knee replacement At my primary care doctor's office today, the nurse didn't notice that I was limping and seemed surprised to hear that I had knee replacement surgery in March. <BR> <BR> I remember that after the last surgery, I didn't really appreciate it for about 3 months. So I guess I'm a third of the way to being glad that I have the surgery behind me. <BR> <BR> I think I am getting around well. I still fatigue easily. I am still experiencing swelling, and the swelling makes bending the knee harder. Al... Fri, 10 Apr 2015 14:59:23 EST Day 29 I've made a lot of progress, but I'm glad that I have only 2 knees to be replaced. The healing process is so slow and entails enough pain that I am glad I am not a quadruped. Tue, 7 Apr 2015 21:08:49 EST Day 27 - Easter Sunday Resurrection Sunday is a special day. I wanted to attend the worship service at my church, but I did not think I could manage the standing or sitting without propping my leg up. <BR> <BR> But I can look forward to participating in the future. Sun, 5 Apr 2015 12:05:37 EST Day 18 I don't push myself as much on days the therapist doesn't visit. Am I slowing down progress? possibly. <BR> <BR> Some of the exercises I can do without difficulty. Others are very difficult. <BR> <BR> I am looking forward to being able to move without being so tired and being able to sleep well. Sat, 28 Mar 2015 20:07:37 EST Day 16 I had physical therapy today. Before PT, I got the waterproof bandage off. My knee was swollen before, but after PT the knee is so swollen that it feels as if I have a blood pressure cuff around it. Before PT, the pain level was 2-3. After PT, the pain level is 5-7. <BR> <BR> I am more mobile, I can walk without a cane, but not without pain. <BR> <BR> The pain builds up during the day. By night time, I have difficulty sleeping. Thu, 26 Mar 2015 18:57:23 EST Day 15 I feel fine during the day, but at night I can't get comfortable for sleeping. <BR> <BR> Although I can get around fine during the day, I miss having family staying with me. Wed, 25 Mar 2015 18:32:18 EST Day 14 I have to remind myself to be patient. I want to progress faster. I want to be past the slow phase. I want to be past the take pain medicine on schedule phase. I want to be at the walk normally without pain stage. Tue, 24 Mar 2015 17:42:01 EST Knee Surgery Day 13 Today is the day the staples (28) come out. <BR> <BR> I took my second trip upstairs since I came home from the hospital. Today's trip was so that I could take a shower. Standing in the shower combined with going up and down the stairs was exhausting. Mon, 23 Mar 2015 10:44:10 EST Knee surgery day 12 I feel as if I should be progressing faster. But 10 days ago, I was requesting pain medication every hour. Now I can go a little past the scheduled time without noticing pain if I am just sitting around. If I'm up and about, I have to stick closer to the schedule. <BR> <BR> I realize my frustrations are probably unreasonable. I'm actually making good progress. Last night I was able to walk up and down the stairs to the second story to turn off a light that one of the children had left on. Th... Sun, 22 Mar 2015 16:50:20 EST Second Knee Surgery I had my right knee replaced in October 2013. I had the left knee replaced March 10, 2015. <BR> <BR> I know I will be glad that I had the surgery, but right now I am having the post-surgery blues. I wish that my legs worked better. I wish that my knees didn't hurt. <BR> <BR> Right now swelling is keeping my left leg from bending as much as it should. <BR> <BR> I am walking with a cane instead of a walker. I can walk without a cane for short distances. <BR> <BR> I am making progress, but ... Sat, 21 Mar 2015 22:03:26 EST Focus on what I CAN do It is so easy for me to get stuck thinking about the things I can't do: I can't walk very far without pain. I can't participate in martial arts. I am too tired to do the things I want to do. <BR> <BR> When I focus on those obstacles, I lose sight of the things I CAN do: I can choose to eat fruit instead of visiting my coworker's candy dish. I can walk a little bit in spite of the pain. I can do time-consuming tasks if I stop and rest then return to the task after my rest break. <BR> <BR> I ... Tue, 10 Feb 2015 10:40:31 EST I joined a gym. What was I thinking? I tend to be frugal. Spending money to exercise when there are so many free fitness opportunities has never seemed like a good use of money to me. Why pay to exercise when I live close to a park with running and walking trails? Why pay to exercise at a place that is a 6 mile drive when I can walk to the park? <BR> <BR> Well, there are several reasons that I joined 9 Round. <BR> <BR> 1. I've heard good things about circuit type fitness programs such as 9 Round and Curves. I've read about res... Sat, 3 May 2014 08:58:09 EST I feel so much better I know it is trendy, but going gluten free has made a great difference for me. <BR> <BR> Actually because it is trendy, I resisted going gluten free for a long time. My daughter's chiropractor suggested it when I accompanied her to her first visit. Well actually he suggested avoiding carbs, but since I wasn't his patient he didn't go into great detail. <BR> <BR> My daughter's gastroenterologist suggested that she do a gluten free trial even though her endoscopy showed no signs of celiac. Go... Wed, 23 Apr 2014 21:45:13 EST 4 Months After Knee Surgery I wish I had this surgery several years ago. <BR> <BR> Last Sunday, I noticed that I can stand for all the verses of the songs in church without pain. <BR> <BR> I can walk from my car to my office without feeling exhausted. <BR> <BR> I can enjoy shopping. I can walk through the grocery store without having to hang on to the cart for support. <BR> <BR> I still have some minor pain and sensitivity, but overall I'm glad I had the surgery. Tue, 11 Feb 2014 00:04:40 EST No amount of food will change the facts I know I tend to be an emotional eater, so I know the next few days or weeks will be very challenging. <BR> <BR> My mother died last night. <BR> <BR> No amount of food will bring her back. I cannot eat away the grief. The tears will stop someday, but today the tears flow freely. Sun, 8 Dec 2013 12:44:44 EST 95° In weather, 95° is hot, <BR> in knees, 95° is not. <BR> <BR> But 95° is much better than I could do when I came home from the hospital. The booklet says patients should be able to bend the knee at 110° now. I guess I'm not the ideal patient. I am making progress, just slower. <BR> <BR> Sat, 9 Nov 2013 11:44:34 EST 4 weeks after knee replacement surgery I am making progress, but the progress is not in a straight line. Some days are better than others. The pain is more manageable, but I am having problems with swelling. The problems with swelling limit my ability to bend my knee. <BR> <BR> Still I have hope that things will soon be better than they were before surgery. Thu, 7 Nov 2013 10:51:23 EST Day 22 after knee replacement I know that physical therapist actually want to help. If I didn't know that fact, I would think they are all sadist who enjoy seeing people experience pain. I know the pain is for a good cause: greater mobility. But therapy is hard. Hard work that can pay off with good results. <BR> <BR> During today's session, I wanted to quit. But quitting would void all the hard work I've already done and would leave me worse off than before the surgery. <BR> <BR> I'm exhausted! Wed, 30 Oct 2013 21:54:59 EST Walking - Correcting bad habits Wednesday the physical therapists pointed out that I don't bend my knee naturally. I lift my foot off the ground and swing it forward without bending. I didn't consciously develop this gait, but nevertheless I started doing it in the year(s) before surgery when I was trying to minimize the pain of walking. <BR> <BR> Therapy in the coming weeks will continue to try to strengthen the leg muscles. In addition, I'll be learning how to walk correctly. Heel first, rolling on to toes, and bending k... Fri, 25 Oct 2013 15:29:14 EST My scale is playing tricks on me. When I weighed this morning, I thought "wow! almost another pound down." Then I went back to bed and slept for two hours. I weighed again. "No way! 3 pounds down!" <BR> <BR> Better check again. "Wowsers! 5 pounds down since yesterday, no way!" <BR> <BR> Same scale. Same location on the floor each time. <BR> <BR> I ate breakfast then weighed again. It was the same as the first measurement. I don't really trust my scale now, but I'm recording the first number since it did register twice. Wed, 23 Oct 2013 10:34:28 EST Progress Two weeks ago, I had surgery. Although progress has been slow, I can tell a difference. The pain has diminished somewhat. I'm walking better. I still sleep a great deal more than I did before surgery. After breakfast this morning, I took a 3 hour nap. <BR> <BR> I'd like to be more mobile. I'd like to get more accomplished here at the house, but I'm glad for the progress so far. Tue, 22 Oct 2013 13:15:34 EST Bending and mending - day 14 after surgery Today the therapists had me walk out to my mail box. This little trip involved going up and down the steps from the sidewalk to the porch. <BR> <BR> My degree of bending is 93 degrees today. <BR> <BR> My knee feels tight and swollen. The therapist reminded me to use ice. How could I forget? I wrote it down so I can remind myself. <BR> <BR> I am impatient and want to be able to walk normally now. I must remind myself of how much progress I've already made and assure myself that I will cont... Mon, 21 Oct 2013 11:29:24 EST Knee replacement surgery and recovery I have had problems with knee pain since my early 30s. I've had physical therapy a number of times. Each round of physical therapy seemed to help for a while until the last round 2 years ago. When I finished that set of PT, my knees didn't feel any better. <BR> <BR> Four years ago, I tore the meniscus in my right knee. The surgeon offered arthroscopic surgery, but said he couldn't guarantee pain-free results. I opted to skip that surgery because it offered little hope for relief. <BR> <BR> ... Sun, 20 Oct 2013 11:31:03 EST Wow! 6 pounds in 6 days I've lost 6 pounds since I came home from the hospital. That sounds amazing, but I gained 6 pounds in the hospital from all the fluids I was given. <BR> <BR> I can't exercise that much because my knee is still swollen and sore from the joint replacement. <BR> <BR> I'm looking forward to being able to walk and exercise and actually lose weight. Sat, 19 Oct 2013 08:58:18 EST Knee update I got my stitches out today. <BR> <BR> I was able to reach 90 degree angle today. <BR> <BR> The therapist was pleased with the way it is healing. <BR> <BR> I want to feel better now. It's hard to wait. Therapy is challenging, but I'm seeing improvements. Fri, 18 Oct 2013 19:10:08 EST My breast cancer story Five years ago, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. <BR> <BR> If you want to read the long version, visit<BR>013/10/14/my-experience-with-breast-ca<BR>ncer/ . <BR> <BR> Thanks for taking a look. Mon, 14 Oct 2013 12:14:59 EST Changes ahead I'm having surgery in 3 days. There will be a 3-4 day hospital stay. When I get out and recover from all the surgery, I want to do things to improve my life. <BR> <BR> I've been reading Suzy Cohen's Diabetes Without Drugs. I am considering doing the dairy free and gluten free diet that she suggests after I get out of the hospital. <BR> <BR> If I do try dairy and gluten free, I'll blog about it here. Sat, 5 Oct 2013 11:02:52 EST New knee for me I am having knee joint replacement in less than 2 weeks. I am not looking forward to the surgery and the rehabilitation therapy, but I am looking forward to being able to move without pain. <BR> <BR> I am hoping that by January I can be back to walking. I think I'll be able to finally see some results. <BR> <BR> Every time I second guess myself about having knee surgery, my knee will lock or will start hurting even more. I feel confident I am doing the right thing, I'm just nervous about th... Wed, 25 Sep 2013 07:41:10 EST Is there a post-deployment stress disorder that doesn't involve trauma? My husband was deployed to Iraq 2 times. Since he was a reservist, we didn't live on or near a military installation and had very little support. No one else in our circle of friends had the same experience. <BR> <BR> He's retired now and has a great civilian job, but I still feel great anxiety welling up whenever I'm already busy and someone asks me to do something additional. Even if I say "no," I still feel stressed. <BR> <BR> I spent almost 3 years (+ all those drill weekends) parentin... Tue, 10 Sep 2013 15:23:15 EST Following/Setting the Wrong Example I loved my grandmothers, and I love my mother. Please don't think I am disrespecting either of them. <BR> <BR> I remember as a young woman watching my grandmother and my mom fill a plate with high calorie and high carb foods on many occasions. As I watched them, I remember thinking these kinds of thoughts: <BR> Don't you want to be around for my children? <BR> Couldn't you eat fewer fried foods so we could have you with us longer? <BR> Do you really want that more than you to keep your sugar... Fri, 6 Sep 2013 17:50:50 EST Farewell, Sweet Arwen I originally posted a longer version of this on another blog. <BR> <BR><BR>/ <BR> <BR> Arwen’s mother, an obviously pregnant tabby, showed up at my folk’s house a little over 12 years ago. START RANT – Why do people drive out to a rural location and dump their unwanted animals? Do they think their pet will go feral and survive better in the country? Do they think people away from town have unlimited resources to care for the pet they no longer want?... Mon, 29 Jul 2013 18:12:50 EST Done is better than perfect My daughters and I recently were working on a quilt block kit. My daughter cut one of the pieces incorrectly. I sewed it together and squared it up. Years ago, I would have recut the piece and have said grumpy things to the daughter. But now I know that it is more important that my daughter has happy memories of making our first quilt block together than it is to have a perfect block. And this block is done. Done is better than perfect. <BR> <img src=" Tue, 16 Jul 2013 22:41:01 EST The Second Half of 2013 Why not make resolutions for July 1st? <BR> <BR> Here are my resolutions for the second half of the year. <BR> <BR> 1. Hug my girls every day. <BR> 2. Hug and kiss my husband every day. <BR> 3. Only eat food I like. If the first bite isn't wonderful, then I don't have to finish it. <BR> 4. Keep the big picture in mind, but focus on the next 20 pounds. <BR> 5. My desire to be healthy is bigger than any desire for dessert. <BR> 6. At least 10 minutes of movement a day. Mon, 1 Jul 2013 20:48:05 EST