BOBSALABAMAGAL's SparkPeople Blog BOBSALABAMAGAL's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Starting Over. So…I am back. Humbled. Ashamed. But…ready to fight. There is no hiding from my condition. I am overweight. I am overweight because I have a food addiction. I need to be honest about that and face it head on. No hiding from numbers or mirrors. No more well angled cropped shots to hide from my online community. No more trying to hide under clothing in public. It is a lie to those around me and to myself. <BR> <BR> This is me, starting over. <img src=" Mon, 18 Aug 2014 10:33:19 EST Through the Storm Well, those holidays were brutal. Not only was it the holidays but we had our daughters wedding to attend and we had 4 weeks with house guests. Blessed beyond measure in all of these things. eating and activity was atrocious. I have now topped a new high as far as how much I weigh. As a result i ended up in the ER yesterday with out of control blood pressure again. They injected me with 3 different drugs and consume 2 others before they could get it to stop climbing. Sent me home w... Sat, 8 Feb 2014 07:12:47 EST Stumbling Well I may have returned yesterday but I sure did stumble throughout the day. The morning started out strong enough but by noon I was struggling bad. By days end I had neglected food tracking and was just plopped in front of the tv snacking hating myself the entire time. I just felt so hungry. I tried drinking water when I felt like that but the hunger just got worse. I started giving myself little things to settle the hunger down but before I knew it I was just going full blown binge. HELP.... Thu, 21 Nov 2013 07:26:53 EST Lost My Way....Again. Well my status had shown I had not been here for 47 days. In that time I managed to lose some more weight....a total of 18 pounds. But then....disaster. I could not stay focused and on track. As a result I have put all my weight back on. Not sticking with SparkPeople and the accountability and support it gives me, is one of the biggest mistakes I've made recently. Do you know why I ended up walking away like I did at first? The points. The silly points. While here I lost focus enough that I w... Wed, 20 Nov 2013 06:11:47 EST September It hasn't been easy but I got through September almost intact. My emotions are a bit fragile but I am still here. And I am 10 pounds lighter!! The doctor warned me that at my age it was going to be tough getting the weight to budge. <BR> <BR> With the support of a wonderful place like SP and an awesome God who loves me no matter what....I can continue on each day. Mon, 30 Sep 2013 20:20:20 EST Menopause Isn't For Wimps I know they are always saying that once you get into your 50's that it is harder to lose weight. I think a large part of that is this thing called menopause. Great googily moogily. I have been in such a mood the past few days. I just want to rip heads off. And this is NOT who I am. My husband has been timidly coming in the door at night to try to feel out the situation before stepping all the way through the door. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if one of these times he comes in waving a bag of... Thu, 19 Sep 2013 11:00:30 EST Saw My Doctor Well I saw the doctor today. He wasn't thrilled with my blood pressure still not being managed but he was very hopeful with the progress I am making on diet and exercise. He wants me to stick with my vegan eating plan and using the FitBit to monitor my activity and we will see if more progress is made in the next 4-6 weeks. IT was felt this was a better course of action than to start playing around with different meds when I am so drug sensitive as it is that it could just start me down a bad... Wed, 18 Sep 2013 19:13:46 EST Tough Day Wow, I could not get the day right today. First I thought today was my doctor appointment. Wrong. It's tomorrow. Then I left out a key ingredient in a new recipe I was trying. Failure. Then dinner was a disaster. Sigh. It's just been one of those days I wish I could have crawled back into bed and started over. <BR> <BR> I guess that's called tomorrow. Hoping it will be better than today. It's what I'll shoot for. Tue, 17 Sep 2013 20:05:48 EST Angels of Spark People Well for the first time I have made it over 10,000 steps on my FitBit. And I am not afraid or embarrassed to say that I am exhausted and I feel it. But I also feel very happy about this. I would love for this to become routine. <BR> <BR> I had people that came out and offered me encouragement yesterday. I can’t begin to convey what that did for me. I was so discouraged and ready to just give up. But those few people that took the time to offer me words of hope made all the difference in the ... Mon, 16 Sep 2013 21:02:23 EST A Day of Struggle My blood pressure has been consistently high for a couple of weeks now even with the maxed out dosages. I see the doctor on Tuesday. I feel so worn out. I have been trying to push through but it is so difficult. The exhaustion and light headedness and vision issues are just eroding my resolve. If I can just push through to get to the other side of this. <BR> <BR> Trying to remind myself that I can't do anything in my own power. Only through Jesus can I do anything. I will lean on Him. <BR>... Sun, 15 Sep 2013 07:55:12 EST Gold Star Moment! Hey, I managed to get 45 minutes in on the treadmill this morning. And I did it without anxiety about my blood pressure. The best gift my hubby ever gave me was putting a LED tv up on the wall in front of my treadmill. I just signed into my Amazon Prime account and put on a tv episode (I am currently finishing up the Eureka series) and I went to walking!! An episode lasts about 43-44 minutes and I put in a full 45. My speed is only at 2.5mph given my current condition with the weight, knees e... Thu, 12 Sep 2013 10:58:17 EST Grocery Store Attitude Adjustment I just got back from the grocery store. I actually had my menu plan written out and a grocery list to go with it. Taa-daa. First bonus point for me. Why does that one simple act so often trip me up? It doesn’t take more than 20-30 minutes of my time? I can easily do it with my morning coffee, so no more letting that being a stumbling block. <BR> <BR> As I was saying, I just got back from the store. Typically I like to carry in as much at one time as possible so I don’t have to make multipl... Wed, 11 Sep 2013 12:20:12 EST Going Vegan My health, and the decline of it, has me finally deciding to go back a vegan whole foods type od diet. I had tried it 2 years ago for about 4 months. I felt the best I had in years. But, I ended up giving in to the temptations and the ease of the old standards. How pathetic is that? <BR> <BR> As I mentioned in my blurb about who I am...I am maxed out on my BP meds. This past week my BP has been chronically high. I have been suffering with facial and fingertip tingling, headaches and nausea. ... Tue, 10 Sep 2013 12:55:59 EST I Love When Motivation Is What I Wear For The Day Last night was a horrible night for rest. I was up a few times and each time it was so difficult to fall back to sleep. By 5am I gave up and the dogs were ready to start their day too. Regardless, I decided that I would look at the to-do list I wrote out last night before going to bed and I would do my best at trying to get the items checked off. <BR> <BR> Before the sun came up I did manage to get all the bookwork done. Always a good thing to get out of the way. Had my breakfast and shower... Fri, 6 Sep 2013 09:36:52 EST Fit Bit AND Body Media? And the Grocery Victory! Well, I may be in overkill. I started out with the Body Media armband to keep track of my activity easier. Problem with that is that every time I was out in public people stared or straight out asked what the armband was. I was always under the impression that perhaps they thought I was under house arrest. <em>246</em> my Fit Bit arrived. I have decided that on the days that I am running around shopping, visiting or going to church that I can wear the Fit Bit. When I am home ... Thu, 5 Sep 2013 18:41:50 EST Have a Buy Meal Plan? My husband and I came up with a “buy meal” plan. What is it? Well, it ties in with our trying to be better about how we spend money plan as well. We are eating VERY healthy and disciplined for 13 days out of 14. Every 2 weeks we allow ourselves to go out to dinner. (That is them money saving part. Otherwise we tended to eat out a bit too often) And at the meal we can have anything we want. Yesterday was out “buy meal” day. It resulted in my going over on my calories for the day by 300. Not a ... Mon, 2 Sep 2013 12:27:08 EST Small Steps Are Better Than No Steps Well the treadmill arrived yesterday. My dear husband spent 2 hours putting it together last night. I then, with his help, arranged my office/workout room. Décor wise the room is less than appealing. But what I did accomplish is putting together a room that houses my treadmill and my weight bench with weights. I also have my exercise bands in there. Once we get a monitor or tv for the room I can bring in the workout DVD’s as well. For now the DVD’s and the Wi Fit are in the living room. <BR>... Fri, 30 Aug 2013 11:51:33 EST