BOBCATGIRL76's SparkPeople Blog BOBCATGIRL76's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Day 1441- Dealing With Uncertainty Weight: 198.2 <BR> Exercise: Nothing much yet today <BR> Nutrition: Better than what it could have been... <BR> <BR> Sorry for the absences SparkFriends! My last blog on Saturday was after I'd been contacted by one of the jobs I applied for to set up an interview for after Thanksgiving. <BR> <BR> I was so excited! That job has more to do with tutoring and teaching which I thoroughly enjoy. <BR> <BR> I still am excited, but now I'm more reserved. I went to visit my friend in South Bend, b... Fri, 13 Nov 2015 14:41:24 EST Day 1435- Victorious Since I forgot to update yesterday: <BR> <BR> Weight: 198.6 <BR> Exercise: I walked up to town and back for lunch. A good 30 minutes of walking. <BR> <BR> I somehow beat my friend in our Workweek Hustle on Fitbit! I was down by 1,000 steps around 11pm yesterday so I started pacing around my friend's apartment. And when I woke up this morning, I'd won! <BR> <BR> I came to visit one of my bridesmaids, Emily, in South Bend. I'm trying to watch my food and still stay active. Anyone near the So... Sat, 7 Nov 2015 12:48:28 EST Day 1433- I Hate Pizza Weight: 199.2 Exercise: 80 minutes of cardio plus 500 meter swim Food: And here's where I slipped up... Okay so my title's a lie. But let me explain. I had cereal for breakfast. I put a whole banana and a cup of raspberries in it. It was delicious. Then I started to pack my lunch but remembered we had a full team meeting and lunch would be provided. Well last time lunch was provided there were some awesome options. Grilled asparagus. Coconut breaded chicken. Today it was pizza. Of cour... Thu, 5 Nov 2015 22:43:01 EST Day 1432- No Swimsuit To Be Found Weight: 199.0 <BR> Exercise: None yet, hoping to get a few laps of the neighborhood when I get home this evening. <BR> Nutrition: Haven't recorded dinner yet, but doing better on carbs and protein for now. <BR> <BR> I can't find my swimsuit anywhere. This isn't to say I don't have like 20 odd swimsuits in my closet. But none of them are my competitive one piece that I paid $18 for and loved so very much. But I've just decided I'll have to wear one of my other ones, because I refuse to miss... Wed, 4 Nov 2015 16:00:34 EST Day 1431- Friendly Competition Weight: 200.2 <BR> Exercise: 20 minutes walking the track, 25 minutes on the elliptical, 5 minutes of the stair stepper, 20 minutes on the treadmill. <BR> Nutrition: Within my ranges for Calories, Carbs and Fats but under in Protein again. <BR> <BR> Alright. So I need to have eggs and chicken apple sausage for breakfast tomorrow. And actually try and go low carb for a few days and see if that helps me reach One-derland again. <BR> <BR> Today is day 3 of being on track. Also a three day s... Tue, 3 Nov 2015 17:16:41 EST Day 1430- Awesome Find Weight: 201.8 <BR> Exercise: 80 minutes of walking/running at the gym <BR> Food: Within my ranges for calories and fat, over on carbs and under on protein. Need to work on that tomorrow. <BR> <BR> When I was tracking all this before, it really helped me stay accountable, knowing I'd have to open every blog with my weight and what I'd done that day. <BR> <BR> Today is day 2 of my refocused efforts and instead of working 13 hours straight like I have been, I forced myself to take a three ho... Mon, 2 Nov 2015 18:28:41 EST Day 1429- What Do I Do Now? Hello Sparkfriends. <BR> <BR> I've been here before many times. I'm coming up on my 4 year anniversary with SparkPeople, and I'm back over 200 pounds. 202 this morning. <BR> <BR> How did I get here? <BR> <BR> The same way I always have. <BR> <BR> Not exercising and not tracking my food. <BR> <BR> I just so badly wanted to be able to live my life without having to measure and track and pay attention. I just wanted to eat when I was hungry and run races and play soccer and live my life... Sun, 1 Nov 2015 21:05:11 EST Day 1424- Another Disappointment Well. <BR> <BR> I guess I can talk about it now. <BR> <BR> I didn't get my dream job. <BR> <BR> I applied for the Digital Health and Fitness journalist position offered right here on SparkPeople. <BR> <BR> I had what I thought was a great interview, but received the email today notifying me that I wouldn't be moving on in the process. <BR> <BR> And I won't lie. I cried. <BR> <BR> Since my first year with SparkPeople, I've realized that I have this passion for health and fitness an... Tue, 27 Oct 2015 13:37:51 EST Day 1416- As Vacation Comes to a Close My vacation started on Wednesday October 14. By 9am on Thursday October 15th, I'd received 6 emails and 8 text messages regarding issues at work. <BR> <BR> I felt so defeated. I just wanted to relax and immediately my stress levels were through the roof. I keep hearing all of your comments about making time for myself and how being in a job you love can change everything. And so I'm holding out hope that I soon get to work for a company I love in a career that I'm passionate about, but unt... Mon, 19 Oct 2015 18:13:03 EST Day 1409- Holding My Breath Hello Everyone. <BR> Long time no blog. <BR> <BR> Work has still been crazy. But after some soul searching, I'm realizing that the current position I'm in is not the position I want to be in for long. I've discussed with my supervisor and am exploring my options in other fields. I've applied for my dream job along with some others, and had a phone interview for one. I'm hoping to find a position that will allow me to get back to focusing more on my health and wellness and cause me less str... Mon, 12 Oct 2015 18:42:29 EST Day 1398- On The Other Side of Every Valley Is a Hilltop With a View Bear with me while I get very metaphorical. <BR> <BR> Yesterday, I was at a very low point. I felt like I was drowning grabbing for any life preserver someone could throw to me. I felt like I had been in the shadow of a cloud for the past month. <BR> <BR> I wasn't depressed. I just wasn't happy. I didn't feel like my usual self, and I know most of that just had to do with stress. <BR> <BR> However, all of your comments yesterday helped me share my feelings during my meeting with my supe... Thu, 1 Oct 2015 16:13:46 EST Day 1397- Is There Something Wrong With Me? You all have been with me since December 3, 2011. <BR> <BR> You've seen me be unhappy in my graduate program and change majors. <BR> <BR> You've seen me be unhappy in my first job, and move home to Dayton to take a new job. <BR> <BR> I was happy in that job, but moved to Michigan when J.D. was offered his job. <BR> <BR> And now I'm in my new job, and once again, feeling unhappy. <BR> <BR> I feel like such an indecisive person. Or maybe I'm TOO decisive in that, when I'm unhappy my ... Wed, 30 Sep 2015 11:49:54 EST Day 1391- The Girl Who Cried Wolf You want to hear something crazy? <BR> <BR> I started this blog yesterday and never got to finish it because I just had too much work to do. <BR> <BR> I guess I can type as much as I want about getting back into the swing of things. But until I actually do it, it means nothing. <BR> <BR> I'm having a very hard time keeping my head above water at work. There's so much going on, and now there's the added stress that my assistant might be leaving, which would mean I have even MORE to do tha... Thu, 24 Sep 2015 15:31:42 EST Day 1384- Letting the Stress Get To Me Well, it finally happened. <BR> <BR> Monday, I worked 15 hours. Tuesday, I cut it down to 12. <BR> <BR> Then yesterday at work, I was sitting at my desk, and all of a sudden got very dizzy and light headed. My hands were shaking. I just felt terrible. <BR> <BR> I got checked out by a team doctor, who gave me some Gatorade and took my vitals. <BR> <BR> My blood pressure was 105/82, and my pulse started at 100, but then dropped down to the 70s while I was with him. <BR> <BR> It was th... Thu, 17 Sep 2015 14:03:56 EST Day 1382- I Miss You Long time no blog. <BR> <BR> I was at work yesterday for 15 hours. Not to mention the thirty minutes it took to drive to work and the thirty minutes it took to drive home. <BR> <BR> For anyone who works in academics, the beginning of the school year is always busy. But in a position where you're serving students as well as serving as HR for student employees, it can be downright crazy. <BR> <BR> The good news is I'm not sitting in a corner shoveling ice cream into my mouth. <BR> <BR> ... Tue, 15 Sep 2015 08:25:06 EST Day 1370- Just Call Me Carli Lloyd Tuesday night was my first indoor soccer game of the fall season. <BR> <BR> We only had two girls which means we didn't have any subs and I had to play the entire game. <BR> <BR> I started out playing defense and was doing alright but started trying to run the full field, and that's okay to do for the first half, but by the second half, I was exhausted. <BR> <BR> So instead, I told my team I was going to play forward and they should just pass up front when they get a chance. <BR> <BR>... Thu, 3 Sep 2015 20:18:26 EST Day 1368- No Free Time With the school year starting back up, I'm crazy busy with the recruitment and hiring process for my department, so I'm pretty busy from start to finish of every day. And when I get home, I'm trying to destress. <BR> <BR> I've had a few bad days mentally and emotionally that seemed to pile onto a few more, but thankfully I've been keeping control of my food. <BR> <BR> I feel bad not being as active as I usually am, but I don't have a ton to say, and I've got to stay focused on work right ... Tue, 1 Sep 2015 09:02:04 EST Day 1363- Busy Life A whole week away! Sorry Sparkfriends! <BR> <BR> Last weekend I traveled home to Ohio to celebrate my friend's bridal shower. I also spent time with my mom and we went golfing. <BR> <BR> Golf is such a frustrating game, but it can also be rewarding when you see improvements. <BR> <BR> Headed to the bridal shower after the golf game, and got to wear a new dress. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Then I visite... Wed, 26 Aug 2015 09:15:09 EST Day 1356- Stop Running Away In case you're just now joining us... <BR> <BR> I made a resolution to run a race every month in 2015. I actually started in November of 2014 and have stuck with it since. <BR> <BR> In July, I ran an 8k trail race, which was much harder than expected. I finished in 1:01:09 which I felt was a terrible time. And I was so hot and exhausted from the muggy weather that I asked J.D. to take me home immediately. <BR> <BR> When I got home and checked the results, amazingly, I'd come in third in ... Wed, 19 Aug 2015 14:52:49 EST Day 1355- Falling On My Face Into A Box Of Donuts As I sit here writing this, I can still taste the custard filled donut on my tongue. <BR> <BR> Who the heck am I? <BR> <BR> I'm certainly not the same girl who just completed a Whole30. <BR> <BR> Because that girl wouldn't do this to herself. That girl said no to free donuts, and an entire smorgasbord of chips, dips and sweets. <BR> <BR> And yet now, now when faced with free food, 275 pound Jan-Marie reared her head. <BR> <BR> So, yes on this path to health, I've once again tripped a... Tue, 18 Aug 2015 14:45:00 EST Day 1354- Final Soccer Game of the Season! Last night was our final soccer game of the season and we won 2-0 meaning... <BR> <BR> drumroll please... <BR> <BR> We're the league champs! <BR> <BR> My team made me feel pretty great by pointing out that we hadn't lost a game since I took over as full-time goal keeper. <BR> <BR> I was reluctant in the beginning because all four bones I've broken were playing goalie, and I had my trip to Europe in mind and didn't want to be in a cast. <BR> <BR> But once I got back from Europe, I playe... Mon, 17 Aug 2015 15:24:39 EST Day 1353- Another Whole30 Complete Today is Day 31! <BR> <BR> i successfully completed another Whole30, this time without weighing myself the entire time. <BR> <BR> My first time completing Whole30, I started at 191 and ended at 173, losing 18 pounds. <BR> <BR> This time, I started at 202 and ended at 191, losing 11. <BR> <BR> I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed. 18 pounds would have been great. <BR> <BR> However, I also know that 11 pounds in 30 days is great, and this time, eating well was so much easier. S... Sun, 16 Aug 2015 10:37:56 EST Day 1351- How I See Myself I was pretty tired yesterday and ended up going to bed early, so I didn't get to write my car buying blog. <BR> <BR> But here is my beautiful new Ford Focus! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Whenever I ask J.D. to take my picture, he always takes a million until I walk up to him and grab my phone. It's just become a thing we do, and its always funny to see the look on my face as I'm walking up to him. <BR> <B... Fri, 14 Aug 2015 09:48:15 EST Day 1349- Winner Winner Chicken Dinner! Hey. <BR> <BR> I actually am eating chicken for dinner tonight so that's awesome. <BR> <BR> Yesterday was our golf outing for our Department, and I won closest to the pin! So that was great. I packed my lunch and ate in on the course as they provided sandwiches for everyone. Then dinner was barbecue, but with sauce already added, so I went and bought my faithful chicken breast with fruit from the local grocery. <BR> <BR> I also received a call yesterday from a salesman at a dealer JD an... Wed, 12 Aug 2015 16:48:35 EST Day 1347- Weekend With Our Friends What a wonderful weekend we had. <BR> <BR> First off, our friends got in Friday evening, and we made a Whole30 dinner consisting of steak kebabs, oven baked sweet potato fries and watermelon. My best friend Sam asked what we did for my birthday, and when I told her that I didn't blow out a candle, she was determined to celebrate. So we cut a peach in half, and she garnished the plate with cinnamon, and she, her husband Nate, and J.D. all sang happy birthday to me. When I went to blow out th... Mon, 10 Aug 2015 16:15:53 EST Day 1344- She Believed She Could So She Did I can't say enough good things about my husband. <BR> <BR> J.D. has always supported my journey, and has lost weight in the process eating the foods I fix and exercising with me. For my birthday, he was so thoughtful and bought me a wall hanging to display my race medals on. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> It says "She Believed She Could So She Did." <BR> <BR> It's so beautiful and it means so much to me bec... Fri, 7 Aug 2015 10:54:36 EST Day 1342- My 26th Year Today, I turned 26. So I guess I'm actually starting my 27th year of life, since I had a year from 0-1. <BR> <BR> Sorry, the math nerd in me just took over. <BR> <BR> But I decided to write a list of things I want to accomplish before I turn 27. <BR> <BR> To Do List: <BR> <BR> 1. Complete a triathalon. <BR> 2. Reach 155 for the first time in my life. <BR> 3. Actually establish a workout program. <BR> 4. Start writing my book. <BR> 5. Become certified as a personal trainer through an a... Wed, 5 Aug 2015 16:45:25 EST Day 1341- Unexcused Absence So sorry to leave you hanging SparkFriends! <BR> <BR> I didn't realize my last blog was on Wednesday, but I've been really busy since then and have just forgotten to blog. <BR> <BR> I guess the good thing is that my "unexcused absence" had nothing to do with falling of the wagon, or gaining weight, or making bad choices. It had all to do with simply not having much time to log on and blog. <BR> <BR> Tuesday and Wednesday night I played indoor soccer games. The team I played with on Wedne... Tue, 4 Aug 2015 11:32:24 EST Day 1335- 40,165 Reasons to Smile 40,165. <BR> <BR> I'm sure you're thinking that's an odd random number (literally). <BR> <BR> And you're all probably hoping I'm not about to list 40,165 reasons in this blog. <BR> <BR> Don't worry I won't. <BR> <BR> However, today I counted, and since I started on this journey, 40,165 comments have been left on my over 600 blogs. <BR> <BR> And that is truly overwhelming. <BR> <BR> And to think that I gave ANY time at all to the 3 negative comments I've received in close to 4 years,... Wed, 29 Jul 2015 13:57:12 EST Day 1334- It's a Brand New Day Just a short comment about yesterday's blog. When I got the negative comment in February, I vowed to never let a negative comment bring me down. Instead, I would just delete it an move on. I think what struck me so hard yesterday, was that is was his personal blog calling me out by name. I couldn't delete it or unsee it. I tried to ignore it, but I have a very bad habit of giving others' opinions of me much too much power. And that's what I did yesterday. <BR> <BR> I feel as if I disrespect... Tue, 28 Jul 2015 11:25:14 EST Day 1333- Being Called Out A while back, you may remember that a SparkPeople member wrote a comment on my blog that said I knew what to do but I was choosing not to do it. <BR> <BR> I deleted the comment and vowed to forget it. I was slightly hurt but didn't want to focus on it. That member was having a lot of success with no gains, only losses on the scale. I was amazed by his consistent weight loss and would check up and read him from time to time to silently cheer him on and watch his success. He knew what to do... Mon, 27 Jul 2015 09:31:22 EST Day 1332- Running Takes Practice Yesterday was hard. <BR> <BR> I didn't train for my trail race. To be honest, I'm pretty sure the last time I ran before yesterday was at my June race. <BR> <BR> Could that have caused some of my 20+ pound weight gain? <BR> <BR> Well duh, Jan-Marie. <BR> <BR> Also, research trail races before signing up for one. <BR> <BR> My Fibit said I climbed 77 floors yesterday, so that will give you an idea of how hilly this trail was. <BR> <BR> 8k is almost 5 miles and I finished in just ove... Sun, 26 Jul 2015 18:45:11 EST Day 1331- My First Trail Race <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I will write a much better blog tomorrow when I'm not as tired. I ran an 8k trail race today and ended up getting 3rd! But I did so poorly that we left before they gave awards. I was so sure I didn't get one and so tired. It was almost 90 with high humidity and I just felt so fat and out of shape. But like I said I'll give a better blog tomorrow. Tired and sore right now. Sat, 25 Jul 2015 22:31:44 EST Day 1330- I Survived The Great Potluck Temptation of July 2015 I feel like I need a t-shirt. Or a medal. Or something. <BR> <BR> I just finished up lunch at work. And here's a list of what was provided. <BR> <BR> Donuts. <BR> Jello Cups. <BR> Sinful chocolate chip oreo brownie things. <BR> Potbelly sandwiches <BR> Breadsticks and Dip <BR> Buffalo Chicken Dip <BR> Fruit salsa and cinnamon chips <BR> Snickerdoodles <BR> Dunkaroo funfetti dip and animal crackers <BR> Seven layer dip <BR> Ruffles and onion dip <BR> Guacamole and tortilla chips <BR> Two t... Fri, 24 Jul 2015 14:47:27 EST Day 1329- Sorry For The Rant Yesterday Hi Friends. <BR> <BR> Usually my blogs are about the ups and downs of my journey. <BR> <BR> However, yesterday was just a bad day I think, and my anger was evident, and with it came a lot of negativity. <BR> <BR> So I'm sorry if my blog yesterday brought you down. That was not my intent. I just really needed to get all that off my chest. <BR> <BR> The thing is, Jeff is a nice guy. <BR> <BR> I don't want to ruin his business, or his livelihood, or his life. <BR> <BR> I don't know if... Thu, 23 Jul 2015 11:08:41 EST Day 1328- Fuming On the Whole30 Timeline, it says Day 4-5 are the "Kill All The Things" stage. <BR> <BR> Well today's day 6, but I think I'm behind a day. <BR> <BR> See, I've never openly talked about my wedding photographer and videographer situation on here, but today I'm so frustrated and angry I want to scream and writing is one of my best outlets, especially since I can't go drown my feelings in a big bowl of ice cream. <BR> <BR> If you viewed our Wedding Photos, you know we used Jeff Schaefer Phot... Wed, 22 Jul 2015 15:36:50 EST Day 1327- Beating Myself Today is day 5 of Whole30. I woke up with a headache that hasn't left me, but it's definitely not a migraine. I think it's a delayed sugar withdrawal headache. Nothing a little Aleve wouldn't help. <BR> <BR> But I thought of you guys last night. I decided to go for a swim, because I keep feeling like I want to do a triathlon and since I already run and bike, I decided, I should start trying to swim. When I got to the pool last night, around 8:15, I only had about 45 minutes before the pool ... Tue, 21 Jul 2015 16:47:45 EST Day 1326- Days 2,3 and 4 of Whole30 and Life Updates I swear, I really do have the best intentions of blogging daily. <BR> <BR> On Saturday while at the beach I tried to blog from my phone twice, but I think my signal must have been week because it never posted. Then yesterday I had an early soccer game (we won 9-2, BOOYAH!) and then spent the rest of the day cleaning around the house and doing meal prep for this week. <BR> <BR> However, I have so much to catch you up on! <BR> <BR> First off, I'm not sure if I said it earlier, but my frien... Mon, 20 Jul 2015 15:59:02 EST Day 1323- Day 1 of Whole30 Hey Everyone! <BR> <BR> For all of you asking what is Whole 30, you can read more about it here: <link> </link> <BR> <BR> I discovered Whole30 last summer when I was looking for a solution to my migraines. Whole30 is a 30 day elimination diet designed to help people discover if they have certain common allergies or intolerances like gluten or dairy. By eliminating these products and then slowly reintroducing them, some people discover what has been causing their health pr... Fri, 17 Jul 2015 14:30:27 EST Day 1321- That Unsnapping Sound You know what's embarrassing? <BR> <BR> When your pants continuously come unsnapped while you're at work because they are too tight to fit you anymore. <BR> <BR> ARGH. <BR> <BR> I've made so many excuses for myself and cannot believe I'm back here. <BR> <BR> I saw 200 on the scale this morning, if only for a second, and it made me so mad. <BR> <BR> I swore I'd never let myself see that again. <BR> <BR> And yet, here I am. <BR> <BR> I need a reboot of my system. A getting back t... Wed, 15 Jul 2015 11:22:31 EST Day 1319- Summer Sickness I've been lucky up until now to have never experienced that summer cold everyone dreads. <BR> <BR> But I think I caught one on our flight home from Europe, because this past week has been a major struggle. <BR> <BR> I was off work Thursday and Friday, and only came back today due to the overwhelming feeling of falling behind. I still feel like crap. <BR> <BR> However, I refuse to let this sickness make me fall back into my old ways. <BR> <BR> I'm tracking my food today, as well as sti... Mon, 13 Jul 2015 14:17:57 EST Day 1314- Tales of Our European Adventure! So hopefully this link works! <BR> <BR> I took 370+ pictures and I obviously can't post them all in a blog so I decided to give you a link to my Facebook album instead. Hopefully it will work. Let me know if it does! <BR> <BR> <link><BR>et=a.10153378298555734.1073741840.5029<BR>60733&type=1&l=2d86ad98bb </link> <BR> <BR> I also haven't had time to sit down and caption all the photos, but to give you an idea of what we did I'll give you the short run... Wed, 8 Jul 2015 12:13:13 EST Day 1313- Why Do I Fear Success? This blog could also be titled: <BR> <BR> Why do I continue to self-sabatoge? <BR> <BR> Or... <BR> <BR> Why am I not at goal weight? <BR> <BR> The truth is, I'm not sure I know the answer. <BR> <BR> But here's what I do know. <BR> <BR> Every time I get into the 170s I get too comfortable. I fit into my smaller clothes, and I feel great physically. And for some reason, that triggers in my brain that I can slack off. <BR> <BR> When really at that moment is when I need to try the harde... Tue, 7 Jul 2015 15:41:39 EST Day 1305- Having a Great Time <img src=""> <BR> Hi everyone! I'm updating my blog on a bus with wifi from Dublin to Galway! Technology is so cool. <BR> <BR> You guys were so right! We keep forgetting to eat because we're trying to do so much and I walked 25,000 steps our first day here. I might come home lighter than when I left! We've had fun so far and I've taken a ton of pictures but the SP app will only let me upload one so I'll give you ... Mon, 29 Jun 2015 17:45:02 EST Day 1301- Prepping for Vacation Sorry for my absence. I'm trying to get everything prepared for our trip, and have been running errands all over the place. I've got our mail stopped, and both passports finally. Also been packing, and let me tell you, if that isn't inspiration to get the pounds back off, I don't know what is. <BR> <BR> I hate having tight clothes, but I refuse to buy more in larger sizes. I've got the more loose closed packed and I hope that by walking around a lot, I'll be able to minimize the weight gain... Thu, 25 Jun 2015 17:04:57 EST Day 1298- Another Wedding Weekend Hi Everyone! <BR> <BR> Sorry I didn't update this weekend. I've been going nonstop since driving back to Ohio Thursday night. I went and had my nails done with the bridal party at noon on Friday, then we went to Macy's (the bride) house to get ready for the rehearsal dinner. We had a great dinner and I got to wear that size 10 red dress I bought a few weeks ago. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> The wedding and ... Mon, 22 Jun 2015 16:18:10 EST Day 1293- Mindful of Mindless Eating Today while eating my measured and pre-tracked lunch, I realized something. <BR> <BR> I don't ever truly eat mindlessly. Sure, when I'm on a binge, I eat way too much food, for absolutely no reason, sometime sitting at my computer, or while watching TV. <BR> <BR> But I'm always aware that I'm doing it. And that's the scariest part for me. So many times, after eating one free donut at work, I'm on my way to getting another, and I think, why are you doing this? You're certainly not hungry. ... Wed, 17 Jun 2015 14:22:52 EST Day 1292- Fall Down Seven Times, Stand Up Eight First off, thank you. <BR> <BR> As always, your love and support overwhelmed me. I sat here reading your comments on my last blog with tears in my eyes. Although almost all of you, I've never met and probably never will meet, you can't begin to imagine how much I appreciate you for being a part of my journey and helping me when I get down on myself. <BR> <BR> I took so many things away from your comments. <BR> <BR> Many of you asked or suggested that I get help from J.D. And last night ... Tue, 16 Jun 2015 17:00:03 EST Day 1288- How To Stop a Downward Spiral My silence is deafening. <BR> <BR> I shy away from SparkPeople when I'm embarrassed or ashamed. And for the past month, I've been out of control. <BR> <BR> I'm not going to say that I can't stop eating crappy food. Because I'm entirely capable of stopping. <BR> <BR> But every time that I've had to make the decision, do you really want to do this? I've said yes. I've eaten ridiculous amounts of terrible food, for no reason I can really pick out. <BR> <BR> There haven't been any events ... Fri, 12 Jun 2015 15:26:31 EST Day 1284- Active Weekend Sorry for the delay in updates. <BR> <BR> This weekend was very busy. <BR> <BR> Saturday morning, I ran my first 10k ever. <BR> <BR> I was aiming for a 10 minute mile pace. I ended up running it in 1:03:18, which was around a 10:06 mile pace I believe. <BR> <BR> I ended up winning second place in my age group. <BR> <BR> Trick is there were only 2 of us in my age group... *womp womp womp* <BR> <BR> <img src=" Mon, 8 Jun 2015 20:03:23 EST