BLUEROSE73's SparkPeople Blog BLUEROSE73's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community FRUSTRATION!!! I have been eating much better, and been tracking all of my food. In general, I am usually well within my calorie range. I believe I had one day where I went over this past week but I did not pig out on junk food. <BR> <BR> I jumped on the scale this morning and it's not moving. In fact, it's higher than I expected it to be. <BR> <BR> I know weight fluctuates, and I know how time of day and other circumstances can affect the results on the scale. But I was hoping to see it at least ho... Mon, 14 Mar 2016 13:00:27 EST Jumped on the scale this morning It was lower than I expected. Keep in mind, the first time I was on the scale this week, it was after drinking over 6 glasses of water, and I was fully dressed. <BR> <BR> This morning I weighed in at a time when I know my weight is at it's lowest of the day - after I wake up but before I eat anything. <BR> <BR> I was pleasantly surprised - it was lower than I was expecting. But overall I'm not happy with where I am. <BR> <BR> So time to change that. I stayed focused yesterday. I at... Thu, 10 Mar 2016 12:38:01 EST I have forgotten just how ... ... to deal with the munchies. I've got them right now, and I'm trying to recall what I can do to deal with them. <BR> <BR> All I can remember right now is to fill my bottle of water, and drink it while blogging. So that's what I'm doing. Then if I'm still hungry in half an hour, I can have something. <BR> <BR> So that's what I'm up to right now. Blogging to keep both my mind and my fingers busy for the next 30 minutes . I don't have a well stocked kitchen any more for healthy, low ... Wed, 9 Mar 2016 16:16:00 EST Still haven't given up I've been online a lot lately. Mostly for school. I'm finding I'm so burned out from doing my studies online, that I usually can't make myself get online to do what I need to do for my weight and health. <BR> <BR> Instead of "shoulding" all over myself, I am going to be understanding of what this whole situation is and keep working at it. <BR> <BR> That is what today is. Working at it. <BR> <BR> I got on the scale yesterday morning. It swore at me. I am definitely not happy. <BR>... Wed, 9 Mar 2016 14:38:01 EST I'm baaaaaaaaaack! Not entirely sure how I feel about that either. I've been sick. In fact I'm still in recovery from recent surgery. My doctor has said no running for 4 more weeks. I'm really struggling with that. I've already been unable to run for 3 months - ankle injury, then surgery. I honestly don't know how else to deal with my weight. That's why I'm right back where I started. This morning I realized I had actually met my weight loss goal 6 years ago today. I had met my weight loss goal, and was o... Thu, 31 Dec 2015 14:58:44 EST Update - possible new allergies developing and severe pain Thank you for everyone who is following my blogs. <BR> <BR> Last Monday at 4pm - after I finished my fitness for the day and everything was on track for a successful day, I started having abdominal pains. <BR> <BR> These were different. They are not from y celiac. I figured it would pass. I was wrong. On Thursday my spouse took me into the ER. I am being treated, but I'm still in pain <BR> <BR> I honestly suspect I've developed further food allergies - considering dairy may have b... Fri, 21 Nov 2014 08:28:13 EST Today's Kick in the Butt I'm sitting here. Shivering. 2lbs heavier than I was last time I blogged. <BR> <BR> Yes, life got in my way. I had a deadline, and a lot of baking to do for it. For the most part, I didn't do too badly during that week. I was so busy baking I didn't have time to get into trouble, or eat any crap. <BR> <BR> But this past weekend was not good. <BR> <BR> Anyhow, that's past. I can't change it. I can only affect today. <BR> <BR> All I want to do is sit here under a blanket. I'... Mon, 17 Nov 2014 09:46:18 EST Today's Kick in the Butt Yesterday was a difficult day. I wanted to get so much done. And I actually did do a lot. But I did not complete everything. <BR> <BR> My first thoughts are that I didn't have a successful day. I tried to run - it didn't go well. It hurt. A lot. But even with the pain, I still pushed through and did 75% of the workout before I really started to question myself. Am I listening to my body? Should I be pushing through this pain? I tried, but the pain never went away, so I stopped. <... Thu, 6 Nov 2014 13:30:31 EST My mountain I have so many things ahead of me right now. It's overwhelming. <BR> <BR> Enough letting it get to me. Time to start defining my mountain. <BR> <BR> I want to go back to school and earn my MSW <BR> I want to run the hypothermic half in February <BR> I want to be in the best shape possible for my wedding - 3.14.15 <BR> I want to stop this depression that is trying to take me down <BR> <BR> I know that's not a very clearly defined mountain, but it's a start. That's enough for me for today... Wed, 5 Nov 2014 11:58:42 EST Starting out Realized today I've got a mountain ahead of me again. That thought started to overwhelm me, as a thought like that often does. <BR> <BR> But then I remembered how I've climbed this mountain before. <BR> I worried I wouldn't be strong enough to do it again <BR> <BR> I remembered just how strong I am - not only when I'm progressing, but even right now. I'm strong enough to take that first step. <BR> I'm strong enough to not let the mountain ahead overwhelm me, but to just focus on that next s... Wed, 5 Nov 2014 11:46:56 EST Struggling with less than Zero motivation I have less than zero motivation. I'm so full of rage, I just can't see past it at all. <BR> <BR> I know I need to get out and go for a run. <BR> I know I only have so much time to train for my next race <BR> I know running will help dissipate this rage - it might not be today, but it will help. <BR> <BR> I know many things. <BR> <BR> But my heart is so full of anger and hate right now. <BR> It honestly hurts it's so full. <BR> <BR> I don't know if I can push myself off the couch an... Mon, 3 Nov 2014 13:42:00 EST It took me a LONG time to learn this lesson, but I'm starting to get it I've had something rolling round in my head for the past month or so now. <BR> <BR> Last Christmas my weight was back up to over 230lbs. It fluctuated between 234 and 239. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Even when we would get dressed up, I felt ugly. All the time. Nothing I did helped. <BR> <BR> I hated clothing shopping, so I started to avoid it. The sadness/stress would lead me to eat more, and the roller coaster of feel... Fri, 24 Oct 2014 13:01:29 EST Follow up Just a quick follow up to last weeks blog. In case you're following <BR> <BR> Hubby and I really had it out late last week. <BR> <BR> I got my stuff out of his way right after I wrote that last blog. He came home and was freaked out - wondering if I was leaving or not. He got mad. I got mad. <BR> <BR> Finally we had it out. I told him to look around. With the exception of the piles of my stuff in the corners, nothing in this house was mine. Nothing. <BR> <BR> When I came home t... Mon, 15 Sep 2014 14:12:49 EST venting I am really having a rough day today. Keep in mind I'm venting here. <BR> <BR> Hubby has been an arse for over a week now. I'm getting sick and tired of it. <BR> <BR> He topped it all off by being pissy with me at the finish line of a half marathon on Sunday. Seriously told me off because I wanted to avoid walking back through the crowd, and shortcut across the grass to get out of the park. I guess apparently I'm a jerk for getting mad and walking away from him. <BR> <BR> I know ... Wed, 10 Sep 2014 11:08:52 EST Sneak Peak of Budouir Photoshoot <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> My photographer and hair & makeup stylist did a great job with my pin up style pictures. I love them. Can't wait to get the rest of them. Mon, 1 Sep 2014 15:52:33 EST Empty Nest Syndrome :( My daughter spent her first night in her own place last night. I know we've been living apart for years, but this still hit home. I kind of expected her to stay with us longer. I understand why she left so quickly - my hubby's being an arse to her. <BR> <BR> She felt she needed to go. Plus she found a place she likes. It's a room she's renting in a home. The price is not too bad. And she's loving her independence. <BR> <BR> She stopped by this afternoon to pick up a few things. ... Mon, 11 Aug 2014 19:08:00 EST Bouquet Ideas <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Just a few of the bouquets that have caught my eye. I send these on to my wedding co-ordinator in Vegas, so she could check with the florist to see what upgrading from the basic bouquet to one of these would cost us. Sun, 10 Aug 2014 15:29:33 EST Possible progress on the honeymoon front Hubby texted me today. He wants us to meet with a friend of his who has been to Cuba. I've NEVER talked to anyone who say Cuba is horrible, don't go. I'm sure hoping this guy isn't the first one we run into. <BR> <BR> That being said, I'm hoping he'll alleviate some of hubby's concerns/worries about going. <BR> <BR> Just so you know, Hubby and I talked about it last night. Rather, I asked him about what he wants to do for the honeymoon so I could start to look into it. He stated Cuba... Wed, 6 Aug 2014 17:16:22 EST Stressful morning This morning Hubby told me he didn't want to go to Cuba. <BR> <BR> This after numerous times telling me he'd love to go. <BR> <BR> I've offered to pay the whole trip. <BR> <BR> But his words were "I don't want to go to a third world country". <BR> <BR> That alone was enough to set me off. They are financially poor. They are not backwards. They have a rich culture I'd love to see and learn about. <BR> <BR> I left the house upset. But as I was driving, I realized something. ... Mon, 4 Aug 2014 17:44:06 EST Stuck. Help! I don't know if I can break it. It's got me again. Hanging on so tight. <BR> <BR> I know I need to break free, but I just don't know if I can do it. <BR> <BR> My mind tells me to fight it, but my heart is telling me to give in. <BR> "ahhhh" <BR> "why even try" <BR> "you won't win" <BR> <BR> I HATE trying to break the hold the couch has on me in the evenings. <BR> <BR> ********UPDATE************* <BR> Hubby came with me, and we walked the dogs. I was eventually able to break the hol... Fri, 1 Aug 2014 20:49:42 EST Follow up I'll keep this one short and sweet. <BR> <BR> Hubby and I had a long couple of days, and a night. We started discussing the reality. I need to be there for my child. If that means going, I was going. Hubby had no intention of moving. I know that. Even though this house is too small for both of us right now, he'll never move. <BR> <BR> We seriously talked about me leaving. During that, we both realized I can't go. There has to be another solution. I asked him what to do. He fin... Wed, 23 Jul 2014 11:02:51 EST Personal stress taking me down - you may want to skip this one. I've been feeling down for a while now. I can pinpoint the exact time this hit, and why this time. <BR> <BR> I went into Regina to go dancing. It was a Tuesday evening. Hubby was working, so I didn't even bother to invite him. I went. Had a lesson, and danced for an hour. Then came home. <BR> <BR> As I was driving home, I realized just how happy I was. My heart was happy. <BR> <BR> Then I got home. Hubby and I got into a fight. He's always in a mood when I come back from danc... Mon, 21 Jul 2014 14:02:41 EST Vacation Part 13 - Seward <img src=""> <BR> The boat we went fishing on. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> you can see how well people here follow the laws and rules. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> a shot from our room window one evening. <BR> <BR> <img src=" Mon, 21 Jul 2014 10:22:50 EST Vacation Part 12 - Anchorage <img src=""> <BR> My race gear for the land of the midnight sun half marathon on June 21 <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> This steep hill was a tough one. We had to run up the other side, then down this side. It was made worse by the thick sticky mud. I ended up falling right after this picture was taken. <BR> <BR> <img src="">... Sun, 20 Jul 2014 11:31:45 EST Today's Kick in the Butt <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I got up and went running this morning. Almost didn't, but I got out there. <BR> <BR> We only went 1.6miles, but I tried to run during it. My HR spiked, and I was working with what I've got - a body and heart/lungs that are not used to this. So we took it a little easy and came home. <BR> <BR> I didn't use my asthma inhailer. I'm working on getting my lungs stronger without needing these crutches. Yes, f... Sat, 19 Jul 2014 11:31:17 EST Today's Kick in the Butt I did it again. I slept in this morning. My eyes opened up at 7am. Then I fell asleep on the couch. <BR> <BR> I'm honestly having trouble breathing. But I'm using that as an excuse. <BR> <BR> So far today, I've gone to work - I only had a couple of hours today. I came home and prepared two perogie fillings - lactose free sweet potato mozzarella, and one regular potato/cauliflower/smoked gouda. Hubby also wants some sourkraut perogies, but there is no prep work for that filling rea... Thu, 17 Jul 2014 14:52:58 EST Vacation Part 11 - Domed Rail to Anchorage <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://pho... Thu, 17 Jul 2014 00:09:59 EST Vacation Part 10 - Denali & some incredible wildlife pics <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://p... Wed, 16 Jul 2014 00:16:11 EST Can't seem to get started Today I'm feeling very sloth-ish. I know. It's not a word. But I'm sure you know what I mean. <BR> <BR> On Saturday and Sunday, I started moving again. Walking mainly. Some running. But moving. I also started to track every bite of food. <BR> <BR> Yesterday it all fell apart. TOM has been difficult for the past year. Severe pain, dizziness, lethargy. Yes, I've talked to a doctor - they brushed me off. I'm starting to realize there is something really wrong, and I need to see some... Tue, 15 Jul 2014 13:08:48 EST Vacation Part 9 - Fairbanks <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> Hubby put his ring in his gold pan. Posing for pic to send home. lol <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos... Tue, 15 Jul 2014 12:59:00 EST Super Moon Pics <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I've been having trouble with my camera. I need to figure out what the problem is. But luckily I was able to capture some shots of the super moon. Wow. They turned out great. Mon, 14 Jul 2014 01:41:35 EST Vacation Part 8 - Dawson City <img src=""> <BR> The tailings left by the gold dredges. What a mess to the environment. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=" <BR> Recognize the little "house" out back for the hookers. Wow. These were everywhere along the gold rush trail! <BR> <BR> <img src="">... Sun, 13 Jul 2014 20:22:50 EST Vacation Part 7 - Bus to Dawson City <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> This was a tough day for me. During this trip, we stopped at a camp site for lunch. The group we bo... Sat, 12 Jul 2014 23:51:19 EST Vacation Part 6 - Carcross and Whitehorse YK <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://ph... Thu, 10 Jul 2014 10:19:20 EST Vacation Part 5 - White Pass Railroad trip into the Yukon This was along the White Pass route the gold rush stampeders took. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://... Wed, 9 Jul 2014 02:41:57 EST Vacation Part 4 - Skagway AK <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://ph... Tue, 8 Jul 2014 10:31:15 EST Vacation Part 3 - Juneau Alaska <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> We only had a short ... Sun, 6 Jul 2014 19:47:17 EST Vacation Part 2 - Time on the Cruise Ship <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://phot... Fri, 4 Jul 2014 13:22:50 EST Vacation 2014 - The First Part - Calgary and Vancouver Wow. What a holiday. <BR> <BR> We started in Calgary. I ran the half marathon with my son in Calgary on June 1. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> There was an elvis impersonator singing karaoke. He was pretty good. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> It wasn`t a PR, but it was okay. I was hurt, and had to wa... Fri, 27 Jun 2014 15:11:11 EST A frustrating morning It's been a frustrating morning. <BR> <BR> I know I haven't been working out like I usually do all week long. I honestly figured I'd not loose any weight, but I was upset to find I've gained weight this week. <BR> <BR> How is it when I bust my butt, I'm lucky to loose 1.5lbs, but when I relax a bit and watch my food, I can gain over 2lbs in a week??? <BR> <BR> this is seriously pissing me off this morning. <BR> <BR> But it has opened my eyes. I guess my nutrition is not as good as I... Sun, 25 May 2014 11:27:33 EST Today <img src=""> <BR> <BR> sure hope this turned out so you can read it. I just looked at the posted pic. You can't really read the information. Basically, the yellow on the bar graph is the vigorous levels of activity so far today - I got in 51minutes of vigorous activity. My goal was 15min. In total, I've already got in 1hour 35min of activity. I've kicked it hard today so far for fitness, and I'm only about half way done. I still ... Wed, 14 May 2014 15:22:41 EST Today's motivation <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Okay, this image is not completely correct. But it's how I feel this morning. <BR> <BR> Yesterday was a day off. That being said, I still did step aerobics, walked the dogs 1.5miles, and did 90min yoga. I took the day off of running. <BR> <BR> Good thing too. My body was tired from the day before. <BR> <BR> But today I'm supposed to get the dogs out and run before my morning fitness class. The above ... Thu, 8 May 2014 08:21:42 EST Today's plan Today's plan is completely achievable. <BR> <BR> I have a spin class at 9:10am. After that, I can take a bellyfit class if I'm up for it. <BR> <BR> I have to work today for an hour 12-1. It's not a lot, but it's work. <BR> <BR> After that, I have things to do at home. <BR> Run the dogs. <BR> Vacuum the carpets <BR> Fold and put away clean clothing <BR> Make supper for hubby and myself. <BR> <BR> Tomorrow I'll be working through supper, so I'll want to plan ahead for that. It'll ... Tue, 6 May 2014 09:20:37 EST My first attempt at icing a cake EVER <img src=""> <BR> <BR> My first ever attempt at icing a cake. The basket weave border gets a little shaky at times, but it still worked. <BR> <BR> It can only get better from here. <BR> <BR> Oh, by the way, it's a gluten free chocolate cake, with a butterscotch filling Thu, 1 May 2014 16:56:23 EST :""( I'm having a tough day today. <BR> <BR> It's been a rough week leading up to today, but I'm finally breaking down. <BR> <BR> Everything with my ex and his illness, having to run out and pick up the dog. Now the dog is struggling to settle in. Mickey is snapping at the other dogs. I get they have to settle out a pecking order, but the stress of it all is starting to overwhelm me. Mostly because of the stress it's causing Hubby. <BR> <BR> Anyhow, last night my tooth broke. I thought... Wed, 30 Apr 2014 12:32:14 EST Tomorrow is the Weigh Out day for my DietBet4 I don't think I made it. <BR> <BR> I haven't weighed in in over a week. Last time I weighed in my weight was up. I was 3 days post my half marathon. I know I had some bloating, but it just didn't seem to go away as fast as it usually does. I tried to step up my activity, but I kept getting nauseous. <BR> <BR> So the overall feeling is that I slacked off for the past week and a half. <BR> <BR> Last week my ex called. He's sick - really sick. He asked me to come and get Mickey - ... Mon, 28 Apr 2014 13:13:28 EST Today, and not feeling welcome in my own home anymore :( Today I went to spin class again. I survived. lol. Actually, I'm getting stronger and stronger every day. <BR> <BR> I also went in to see the room in the library where I'll be teaching my gluten free baking class in just over a week. I'm so excited. <BR> <BR> TOM is kicking my butt. Cramps are bad today. <BR> <BR> My ex called me a couple of nights ago. He's really sick. He asked me if I'd take Mickey - my dog - back. If you don't know, my kids begged me to leave Mickey with ... Thu, 24 Apr 2014 19:31:50 EST Today's Motivation <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> Wed, 23 Apr 2014 12:06:27 EST Day 14 of DietBet10 - Day 21 of DietBet4 I'm back on track today. <BR> <BR> I really can't be too hard on myself for this weekend. I walked a half marathon Thursday evening. Friday was off to rest. Saturday I went for a light walk. Within the first mile, I was feeling some pain in my one leg - an indication I needed more rest. <BR> <BR> So that's all I did on Saturday. <BR> <BR> Sunday I was feeling so down I didn't do anything. Monday too. <BR> <BR> But today I changed all of that. <BR> <BR> I went to spin class... Tue, 22 Apr 2014 17:37:36 EST Day 11 of DietBet10 - Day 18 of DietBet4 I ran my We Stand With Boston Virtual half marathon on Thursday. Actually walked it. <BR> <BR> Today I'm not feeling very good, so I decided to go for a little walk. I stopped as soon as I realized my legs were hurting and not loosening up - I got in a mile. <BR> <BR> I've been very cranky for the past two days. <BR> <BR> I know I'm in control of how I feel and how I respond to things, but hubby is really pushing my buttons this week. <BR> <BR> After the half marathon on Thursda... Sat, 19 Apr 2014 16:23:50 EST