BLUEROSE73's SparkPeople Blog BLUEROSE73's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Custom Heirloom Photo quilt - wish me luck I am trying to raise funds to help with the purchase/build of my own food truck for my gluten fre baking business. I've decided to employ some of my other skills to help with this. <BR> <BR> I am offering raffle tickets for a chance to win a custom made photo quilt. The winner chooses 6-12 photos they want put on their quilt, the theme of the quilt, and the colours. It also includes shipping the quilt to the individual once it's completed. <BR> <BR> I'm hoping this works out. I alre... Tue, 6 Feb 2018 10:36:31 EST update ... may be TMI I'm slowly starting to feel better. I've been fighting a cold since I've been home in addition to this depression. But the past two days I'm starting to see how it might be possible to fight my way back to health. <BR> <BR> I've finally opened up and told a few people just how ugly and black it's been getting. Ok, not completely told them everything. But told them enough to understand I'm suicidal again. Yes, I use that word. It is reality. I have also told them I'm not sure I want to... Sat, 3 Feb 2018 10:34:52 EST update I'm finally getting over this cold. and my tattoo and piercings are healing nicely. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> i had my one forearm tattoo added to. Added rosary beads and roses. I love it. It's healing beautifully <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> the middle piercing is the new one. Actually, they were done years ago, but they were ... Mon, 29 Jan 2018 13:08:24 EST still plugging away ... that about says is all. Sat, 6 Jan 2018 20:36:50 EST Gluten Free Puff Pastry Recipe <link><BR>/gluten-free-puff-pastry-at-home.html </link> Fri, 5 Jan 2018 11:33:30 EST Just checking in I'm still not 100%. Who am I kidding. I'm barely functioning. But here's what I've been up to. Trying to keep myself busy. <BR> <BR> Gluten Free Egg Free Nut Free perogies. <BR> <img src=""> Thu, 4 Jan 2018 11:17:11 EST TMI I'm not doing very well. Depression is kicking my butt. Hard. I'm not even nice to my hubby anymore. I don't know if we'll make it through this. Mostly because I don't have any fight left in me right now. <BR> <BR> I hate feeling this way. I'm hoping tomorrow I'll find some fight. Thu, 30 Nov 2017 20:15:59 EST Gluten Free Gingerbread House <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <BR> my decorating leaves something to be desired. But it still tastes amazing. Regardless of how it looks. lol Mon, 13 Nov 2017 18:37:10 EST Gluten Free Chocolate Pecan Pie I've never had pecan pie before. I definitely LOVE this one <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> You can check out the recipe here: <BR> <link><BR>/gluten-free-chocolate-pecan-pie.html </link> Sun, 12 Nov 2017 20:45:15 EST Frustration I'm back in the city today. So I weighed in this morning. No change from last week. Obviously there's an issue in my tracking. I wear a heart rate monitor so my calories burned is being tracked. I guess it's time I really look closer at what I'm eating. I thought I was doing well. I do have to admit I"m not drinking enough water. Maybe that's the change I need to make. <BR> <BR> It's just so frustrating. I tried on a pair of jeans last night. I can do them up, but the muffin top ... Wed, 8 Nov 2017 11:13:18 EST Decision time Do I go back to the city today or not? I have always been going back on Tuesdays for weeks. I can bake some gingerbread houses once I get there. And I can pack things. <BR> <BR> But I have to wait to pick some things up from my post office box first. I think that's what's got me wondering. I hate waiting for things to be delivered. <BR> <BR> Another thing I hate is that there is no shower/tub here right now. I NEED a shower. The bathroom is under construction. I don't know how mu... Tue, 7 Nov 2017 11:45:56 EST Busy weekend ahead of me ... even though it's half over already. I still have to set up my storage locker. I have lots of shelves to set up. I'm not sure if I'll do it today, or wait until tomorrow. Hubby's going to be working tomorrow, so I might do it while he's at work. <BR> <BR> I need to go for another walk later today. I went this morning, but I didn't have spikes for my shoes. It was too much trying to not fall so I came home. I picked up some spikes and will go out again later. <BR> <BR> That's a... Sun, 5 Nov 2017 15:29:16 EST Baking for tomorrows farmers market ... includes: <BR> <BR> Gluten Free Cream Puffs filled with pomegranite cream cheese filling <BR> Gluten Free Almond Joy Cookies <BR> Gluten Free Brownies <BR> Gluten Free Sugar Free Brownies <BR> Gluten Free Carrot Cake <BR> <BR> I also have some Gluten Free Dairy Free Soft Pretzels - I'm not sure if I'm taking them to the market or not. I will have to have my warming display/oven to keep them warm. It depends if I have enough room in the car I guess. lol. Fri, 3 Nov 2017 20:00:15 EST just need to write it out of my head This is not a fun, go go go kind of a blog. I've got things rolling around my head and can't seem to get them out. So I'm trying here. <BR> <BR> I lost my job almost a month ago. This is nothing new for me. Often I end up being treated like crap and leave. Sometimes I love the job but it simply does not work out. This not working out is the case this time. <BR> <BR> I loved the job. I loved what i was doing. It was hard work and long hours, but I was figuring out how to make it wo... Thu, 2 Nov 2017 12:05:51 EST Today's walk in a winter wonderland <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=" Wed, 1 Nov 2017 13:21:23 EST Gluten Free Chocolate Banana Coconut Cake Recipe One of the recipe's I've created. So tasty. The link is to my baking blogsite. Check it out. <BR> <BR> <link><BR>/gluten-free-chocolate-banana-coconut_<BR>25.html </link> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> Tue, 31 Oct 2017 21:52:23 EST Some of this weeks baking ... I run a small business. Gluten free and other allergen free baking and baking mixes. Feel free to check out my website <BR> <link> </link> <BR> <BR> Anyhow, I have been working on perfecting a couple of recipes this week. I think I have them. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> Gluten Free Bagels <BR> <BR> <img src=" Fri, 27 Oct 2017 11:05:38 EST Getting Frustrated I have been tracking every bite of food for a few weeks now. I have also upped my calories burned to 1,000/day for over a week now. It’s not helping. <BR> <BR> Okay, I need to be honest. I am not gaining weight anymore. So that’s good. <BR> But I’m not losing weight. I’m keeping my nutrition between 1400-1750 calories/day (one exception in the past two weeks). <BR> My body is tired most days, after power walking (4miles/hour for up to 90 minutes). <BR> But I’m not seeing progress o... Thu, 26 Oct 2017 11:24:51 EST Having a sad day I gave notice on my suite in the city today. I will be out by the end of December. I don't know if that's what's making me sad though. I guess it's all part of the grieving process. <BR> <BR> I'm just getting back from today's walk. I didn't push myself. I've been trying to look up how many calories I burned, but I guess my garmin program updated. I can't find anything anymore. *sigh* <BR> <BR> Anyhow, time for me to get started with baking. I have two new recipes I want to try, p... Wed, 25 Oct 2017 12:42:32 EST Back on wifi ... I'm back connected to wifi again. It's going be a rough month going back and forth, but it'll be done soon enough. <BR> <BR> Anyhow, while i was away, I kept walking. And for the most part I was right on track with my eating. I am finding I'm just not drinking enough water. I really need to change that. I've found that if I don't drink enough water, I end up with cravings in the evening. <BR> <BR> Time for me to get back to baking. I have a list of things to make this week. <BR>... Tue, 24 Oct 2017 19:44:43 EST Starting to really focus on what I need right now Today is the second day in a row that I've focused on burning at least 1000 calories/day in addition to my BMR. I am also tracking every bite of food, so that I at generating at least a 1000 calorie deficit/day. <BR> <BR> Today's calorie burn was a 5.6 mile walk around the lake in 80minutes. Yep. That's an average of just over a 14 minute mile. At the halfway point, when I turned around there was an older gentleman walking his pomeranian. They were keeping pace with me, so we walked t... Fri, 20 Oct 2017 13:37:07 EST Getting better every day I'm feeling a bit better every day. <BR> <BR> On today's walk, I began to really think about things. Yes, I'll be soon saying good bye to this apartment and being able to walk around the lake. But I'll be back home with my dogs and my hubby. I have struggled to fit into that small community, but it is what it is. I am realizing that although I do like solitude, it is honestly lonely here in the city. I am still pretty much keeping to myself. <BR> <BR> As for the job, I still think ... Thu, 19 Oct 2017 15:13:29 EST Back from today's walk I'm feeling a little better every day. <BR> <BR> I re-read the paper that they provided me outlining how I was not meeting the job requirements. I know that sounds sad, but in all honesty, it has helped me realize that I was not fitting into that job. That it wasn't just me dropping the ball one day, but that I really was reaching well beyond my abilities in that position. It has also helped me to see where I can grow from here. <BR> <BR> I walked around the lake today. I miss my hub... Wed, 18 Oct 2017 14:08:10 EST still plugging away I'm still plugging away. I woke up this morning after a nightmare again. A nightmare about the job I recently lost. I know it's a trauma. I'm just finding it frustrating. <BR> In all honesty, I'm getting over it much faster than I normally would, but it's still a struggle. <BR> <BR> I'm back at my suite in the city tonight. I came back for dance lessons, then decided I didn't want to go after all. I just needed some space. My hubby is struggling, and we're at each other these past... Tue, 17 Oct 2017 21:34:46 EST this one's a bit of a downer still I am still struggling. No surprise. It was just a couple of days ago when I lost my job. The reality is that I'm doing better than even I expected at this point. It's just so hard in the morning. Not having a reason to get up early and get going. And the phone being so quiet. I have become used to go-go-go for work. But that's all gone now. <BR> <BR> I have had some time to think about it. As much as I loved what I was doing, I was in over my head. I want to believe I could do it,... Fri, 13 Oct 2017 11:29:53 EST It wasn't easy but ... I got dressed and went for a walk today. I didn't sleep well, so it was that much harder to get out the door. But I did it. <BR> <BR> While I was out I picked up a letter outlining the issues at work that lead to me not passing my probationary period. After walking, I took the time to read it. Honestly, I can see why. I just wish they'd provided this kind of feedback around month three. That would have given me time to deal with the concerns. <BR> <BR> But at this point it is what... Thu, 12 Oct 2017 16:55:18 EST I hate days like this I got an email today requesting that I meet with my supervisor and the director for a performance evaluation. I responded to my boss to ask if I should be concerned overall. She replied saying "there are area's of concern that we are not prepared to discuss today". <BR> <BR> Needless to say I'm stressed. I hate having to sit with this information overnight like this. <BR> <BR> Anyhow, I'm trying to distract myself. Blogging, tracking all of my food and fitness for today. I'm planni... Tue, 10 Oct 2017 21:42:59 EST Today's steps forward I walked around the lake (3.6miles) after driving home. <BR> I tracked all of my food so far today. <BR> <BR> At least the pain is gone today. It was bad last week. But despite the pain, I still found a way to get my walking in. <BR> <BR> What are you going to do today to reach your goals? Mon, 9 Oct 2017 19:49:59 EST Today's steps forward - I went for a 3 mile walk before work <BR> - I am on day 2 of tracking my food <BR> - I am in training at work again, and focusing on implementing what I'm learning not only into my practice but also into the report I'm up late nights writing at this point. <BR> <BR> So I'm counting today as a success. Rather than looking at everywhere I could see deficits (not running today, not sleeping well, not drinking enough water). Instead I'm focusing on progress at this point, realizing it will... Mon, 2 Oct 2017 19:40:27 EST It's been a lifetime... ... since I've blogged. <BR> <BR> Life has completely changed for me. I finished my BSW, and was offered a position a few days after I finished my last class. It is a fantastic position. It's actually my dream position. I actually get to help people. I'm finding it a bit difficult at times, but am loving the opportunity to grow into this position. <BR> <BR> The organization is HUGE on training and supporting their staff. They will pay for my masters classes, and provide me with a ... Sun, 1 Oct 2017 21:02:03 EST No motivation at all today I have a lot to share about the past month or so, but that's not what I'm blogging about today <BR> <BR> However, a fallout of the past few months is I've been SLAMMED with a depression that is overwhelming me right now. I've been so stressed for so long. Now that the stress is gone, I'm falling apart. I was hoping it wouldn't be this bad, but it is. <BR> <BR> Anyhow, back to why I'm blogging today. <BR> <BR> I KNOW I need to run <BR> I need to run for my health <BR> I need to run for m... Mon, 19 Dec 2016 09:01:08 EST Back at it. I'm working on getting back to it all. I went for my run this morning. I did start out running half of it - run 1 block, walk 1. Even though I'm feeling queezy, I thought I needed to get out and try. I'm feeling a bit better, but I don't know if my stomach will settle at all today or not. Oh well. I'm planning on pushing through it anyway. <BR> <BR> This morning I'm off to do my practicum again. All day today. I'm getting so close to being done. At the latest, I'll be done on Dec ... Fri, 2 Dec 2016 07:25:39 EST In my ideal world... I would be in an awesome practicum placement, with opportunities to grow and learn as well as mentoring. <BR> I would be at my ideal weight <BR> I would be on track with my running training <BR> I would be coping with my stress better <BR> <BR> I can not change the issues at my practicum. I've tried. I am not giving up. I am not doing what I usually do - getting frustrated and walking out. I am trying to work with this and work through it. That's all I can do. <BR> I have control over... Wed, 23 Nov 2016 08:27:45 EST Today I stopped running for just over a week due to illness. I was struggling to get back to it. Who am I kidding. I still am. However, I made the commitment to get out of bed this morning and go. I was able to do half of my run, then I just felt too exhausted. My heart rate monitor was showing me that my heart rate was high and not coming down. So I power walked home. My avg heart rate was still pretty high. I'm not sure if its due to the stress (my practicum has become a bit of a nightma... Tue, 22 Nov 2016 06:48:38 EST Still plugging away at it my focus hasn't been on weight loss for a few months now. I knew it wouldn't be possible to make it my top priority. I've been far too busy with my practicum, work, and homework. I'm keeping my head afloat. I am still running every morning. Okay, at least walking. But I'm staying focused and getting out at least 4 mornings a week. I'm not doing it on weekends at all. I'm thinking this might be a bad indication that when my schedule eases up I may not keep focused on keeping up my run... Sun, 13 Nov 2016 15:12:24 EST It's been a bit ... ... but I'm still here. I haven't been running, but I have gone out for a run daily. I get about half of my run in and they I power walk. I really need to figure out why I've got that block and find a way to get over it. But for now, at least I'm still moving. <BR> <BR> It's getting cooler in the mornings. It hasn't started to snow her yet, but that's coming soon. Actually, it's past due. I'm ready for it - I always have my spikes and base layer ready to go. I'm definitely appreciat... Tue, 8 Nov 2016 06:49:19 EST Today's kick in the Butt It's been a bit of a busy week, but mostly I've been resting. I've been exhausted all week long. I know I'm fighting a cold, so I've been letting my body rest. I have been going out - I've been out for a run 4 mornings this week. However, I have not done much running. It's been a bit of running then finishing with a power walk. I think I really need to push through this block, but not before work. I'll try this weekend. <BR> <BR> Things at my practicum are progressing. I'm finally ... Fri, 28 Oct 2016 08:33:43 EST Today's kick in the butt I realized this morning that I've really slacked off of my running for the past few days. I took Thursday off. I had cramps Friday. I didn't go Saturday or Sunday either. <BR> This morning I woke up with a sore hip, so I decided to head out and walk rather than run. I'm glad I did. I finished my power walk strong. Went the entire distance. And I'm not in any more pain than I was earlier. <BR> <BR> I'm still just not feeling the motivation to get going. At least I still have anothe... Mon, 24 Oct 2016 08:37:23 EST Today's kick in the Butt Today was a bit rough on my run. Cramps are bad today. I'm hoping that the rest of my day goes better. I'll be sure to take some Alieve with me today just to be sure. <BR> <BR> I started running, but ended up walking. Even then I had to cut it short and I struggled the last half mile - the pain was ramping up. I was hoping this was behind me, but I guess not. Oh well. At least the pain is only bad a couple of days a month, instead of all day every day. <BR> <BR> I've got to get of... Fri, 21 Oct 2016 08:12:14 EST Today's kick in the Butt Thank you for the comments yesterday. I really needed the gratitude one. I am struggling with being overly stressed. That post reminded me that despite my current struggles, I still have a lot to be thankful for. <BR> <BR> I am struggling with frustration at my practicum placement, but I have a placement. <BR> I am struggling with some things at home, but I have a warm, safe home to come to. <BR> I am stressed and frustrated, but I am able to run to burn a lot of that off every morn... Wed, 19 Oct 2016 07:54:25 EST Today's kick in the Butt Back from today's run. It's raining lightly out there. Funny. I always find I run my best in the rain. Today wasn't a best run overall, but it was a good one. Poor Lulu is in the back porch drying off. <BR> <BR> It's going to be a long day. I leave for work in about a half hour (6:30am) and am gone until just after 7pm. Just under 3 hours of driving. Better remember to pack a supper. I can never make it that late without at least a bigger snack in the later afternoon. <BR> <BR> ... Tue, 18 Oct 2016 07:48:30 EST Today It's been a while since I've blogged. Lots has happened, but that's common considering how busy I am. <BR> <BR> Hubby has had to go back to work. He sees the specialist next week, so that's good. Plus today he's going to a doctor for some pain management. I am beyond sick and tired of doctors telling patients "I don't do pain management". Seriously? I'm not drug addict. I HATE taking pills. But if I'm in enough pain to ask for help, who are you to tell me that I can't have it? W... Mon, 17 Oct 2016 08:56:01 EST Today Today seems to be off to not such a good start. <BR> <BR> My run didn't go so well. I feel so emotionally drained when I'm out there. I just don't have it in me to run the full 3 miles. So I speed walk instead. I'll try again tomorrow <BR> <BR> Now I'm trying to drink my smoothie. It was blended for more than enough time. But the banana's are barely blended. In fact, they are still almost whole (I break my banana in half and put it in my nutribullet). Looks like I need a new one. <... Wed, 12 Oct 2016 08:24:05 EST Today's kick in the Butt Tomorrow is my final weigh in for my diet bet. This morning I weighed myself. I've hit my goal. Now to keep it there until weigh in tomorrow. Today's Thanksgiving supper here too. Could be tough. lol <BR> <BR> Not so much. I have to cook and bring my own meal for tonight. My hubby's sister decided to stuff the turkey. She also insists on making gravy with flour. The fact I'm allergic doesn't matter. And they wonder why I don't even bother to try to connect. It's been this way fro... Sun, 9 Oct 2016 12:12:45 EST Today's kick in the Butt ... and follow up on yesterday <BR> <BR> I returned to my practicum. There was plenty to do, but it was for the most part pushing papers. I get that though. It was a no school day, so that's all there was to do. <BR> <BR> However, that being said, there was some progress. We talked and cleared up more of my misunderstandings. I also prepared two presentations for early next week. We'll see how it goes next week. <BR> <BR> Anyhow, on to today. <BR> Hubby is depressed. He got so... Sat, 8 Oct 2016 10:29:41 EST Today's kick in the Butt This morning I weighed out (final weigh in) on my first of two diet bets. I made this one plus two pounds. Now I have to hit my next goal - one more pound by Monday morning (Tuesday at the latest). I'm pretty sure I can do it. <BR> <BR> I was frustrated though. I was doing so well, and on a loosing streak just as the dietbet started. Then my hip started to hurt. I didn't give up, but I was very restricted in what I could do with regards to my fitness. In fact, I lost 2 weeks out of the... Fri, 7 Oct 2016 08:06:40 EST Today's kick in the Butt I'm just not feeling very good today. I am tired. I couldn't breathe this morning, so today's run turned into a 3mile walk. Now I've got waves of nausea when I'm trying to get my smoothie down. <BR> <BR> Oh right. I just remembered. I got my MMR vaccination yesterday. I'll bet it is having a bit to do with this. <BR> <BR> Anyhow, I've got a full day ahead. As soon as I'm done here, I'll be back to reading more papers for my classes. I have almost 2 hours for extra reading before I... Tue, 4 Oct 2016 07:57:29 EST Today's kick in the Butt Back from today's run already. It went well. <BR> <BR> I finished my stepbet on Saturday. 6 weeks of walking 6 times/week - 6500 steps 4 times a week and 8400 steps twice a week. It felt great to see that it was done successfully. I'm not sure I'll do another one. I guess time will tell. It's not a bad idea to do another one leading into the cold winter months - to help ensure I keep moving. <BR> <BR> I am finishing my first of two dietbets this Fri/Sat. I made my goal weight last we... Mon, 3 Oct 2016 07:47:17 EST Today's kick in the Butt Got Lulu and I out for this mornings run. Even started to run. But the nausea I was feeling when I woke up didn't pass. I ran two more blocks to see if it would pass - nope. So we walked. Walked all 3 miles. <BR> <BR> Back home now, and finishing my morning routine. I need to be at work by 8am today. It's a full day at my practicum placement. Luckily once I get there, I am car pooling with my supervisor for the day. <BR> <BR> Anyhow, here's some motivation to help kick your own b... Fri, 30 Sep 2016 08:08:52 EST Today's kick in the Butt Today was a day of firsts. First day I woke up with no pain in my hip. First day of running without painkillers. First day with only a slight twinge in my hip while I ran (only for a quick second, then gone). Here's hoping my hip holds out for the rest of today as well. <BR> <BR> I'm already back from today's run. I've found I can't take the time to blog before running. I barely have enough time after running (and before my shower) to blog most days. I need to get my heart rate down s... Thu, 29 Sep 2016 09:27:53 EST