BLONDENAM's SparkPeople Blog BLONDENAM's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community In with the NEW and out with the OLD. I have been away for far too long and let myself slip back into the bad habits of the past. I have let stress overwhelm me and have used food to quieten that inner demon. I have come to realize that only I can make the changes that need to be made in my life and that it will take time to change those bad habits to new and better ones. There are people who have been through much more than I have and they continue to move forward in their lives. I am tired of the excuses and lies that I tell ... Sat, 17 May 2014 22:53:32 EST Oh when is the snow going to go away? LOL I cannot believe that it is the 23rd of April and we still have over 2 feet of snow in our yard. it is supposed to warm up quite a bit by the weekend but then the snow is going to melt and we will have to deal with flooding. I am so glad that our new house has no basement. I dealt with water flooding my home 2 years ago on the 1st of may because of a freak snow storm and sudden melting and I swore I would never have a basement again. It is hard not having the extra space but I can live wi... Tue, 23 Apr 2013 23:04:05 EST Never giving up. I have been away for longer than I had wanted to be and now I am back because i am never going to give up on getting to my goal of healthy. I have hit my alltime high weight and only I can lose it. As an emotional eater I need to get control of the emotions and learn that I don't have to eat my emotions away. So, I am here to stay no matter how long it takes to get there. I cannot promise that I will be here everyday but i can promise that I will never give up on my goal. I will get ther... Sun, 14 Apr 2013 17:55:15 EST I'm so glad to be back I cannot tell you all how happy I am to be back on Sparkpeople. I had a virus hit my computer bad and now i am finally able to get back on my computer after it was cleaned out. I did not realize how much I would miss my sparkfriends or my accountability. We have had such ugly weather here with more snow that we have ever had since I have been alive. We also have not had a reprieve from the cold temps until yesterday and today. It was ugly and cold on the first day of spring and my daught... Sun, 24 Mar 2013 17:48:25 EST So glad to have joined sparkpeople A quiet day today. Taking it easy tonight after a good day of housecleaning. So glad for the support of those on sparkpeople. So many inspirations to be had. Sun, 24 Feb 2013 20:03:58 EST Life!!! Sometimes I am so miffed with myself. I let myself use the excuse of being so busy that i could not get on my computer to track. Excuses be gone. I am doing this for me so the only person that I am hurting is me. No more excuses. If I don't track it is because i am aware of what i have done instead of what i would like to do with my food intake. Shoulda, wouldas, have tos, they have no place in my life anymore. I want to lose this weight and to get healthy and i am the only obstacle in... Sun, 17 Feb 2013 21:52:39 EST Overate again today! I didn't plan and so I overate. I know to plan and I should have realized that I would do this. Well, I did so now I am going to remember to plan from now on. WOOOHOOOO for realizing I need to do what I need to do to stay on track. Mon, 11 Feb 2013 21:22:16 EST A Big WOOOHOOO!!!! Day Today was my regular weekly support group meeting and I was excited and scared to see what the scale showed this week. I know that I did what I was supposed to do this past week and I am proud to say that I am on a streak. I am tracking, eating well, and staying positive about my goal. I stepped on the scale tonight and I achieved a weight loss of 7.5 lbs this past week. It is way more that I would like to lose but I am just happy the gain I took last week is gone. I weigh in at my suppo... Wed, 6 Feb 2013 22:14:05 EST A hard weekend over and done with for now Sunday was a rather hard day for me. I didn't overeat at all and I tracked my food but it was hard anyways. February 3rd was the day of my son's birth and since he died I find his birthday the hardest next to the day that he was killed. I didn't let my mood affect my food intake and for that i am proud. My son would also be very proud of me because I am finally looking after myself instead of always looking after everyone else first. I do this in part in remembrance of him but I also do ... Mon, 4 Feb 2013 22:31:26 EST Day 2 I had an awesome day today and accomplished so much at work. I stayed away from the unhealthy choices and feel great because I did. Looking forward to day 3 tommorow and another star on my calendar. WOOOOHOOOO!!!! Fri, 1 Feb 2013 21:08:49 EST A new day and a new start I decided yesterday that i was going to start over today and that is just what I did. I am going to keep a chart on my fridge and i get to check off the days that i do what i need to do to get this weight off. i am also going to start a woohoo jar like bogusannie and a jar with marbles that add up to the weight that i have to lose and an empty jar to put those marbles in as i lose those pounds. i was also reading some blogs on a vision collage and that sounds like something that will work ... Thu, 31 Jan 2013 22:30:56 EST A very very bad week.-not giving up though This past week I fell off the wagon and didn't track my food, ate everything in site and gained alot of weight. I went back to my support group and stepped on the scale and also found out that my scale is weighing wrong. I am now up at my highest weight ever. <BR> <BR> I decided that I am not going to let this stop me from reaching and achieving my goal. I am going to start all over tomorrow. I cannot change what has happened in the past but I can start over. I used to give up when I ... Wed, 30 Jan 2013 21:22:42 EST I really need your prayers today It is the middle of the night. In fact I have been up since 3:00 a.m. I woke up because I could hear water running. I was not imagining it. Our main water line to our home decided to blow a hole and start to spew water everywhere. I am so frustrated right now and just feel like crying but I am not going to. I tend to eat everything in sight when I am stressed and I hope that I can get past all this without doing so. I usually don't ask for help but I need to get through today. <em>46<... Fri, 25 Jan 2013 05:35:09 EST Still kicking it up. Somedays it seems that I will never get to my goal but this past week I decided to focus on losing 1/2 lb a week and to make the changes that I need to make to do that. I was inspired by reading alot of the blogs on here. If I make small changes and smart goals I can achieve my goal one step at a time. This week I am going to focus on staying away from POP whether it be regular or diet. Pop is not a healthy choice for my body and if I cut that out I can add something in that is healthy fo... Sun, 13 Jan 2013 23:24:48 EST I survived the Holiday Season I gained 1.5 pounds over the holiday season but I am proud of the fact that I truly watched what I was eating and kept track of the good and bad choices. I belong to a weight loss group in my local community and I was feeling uninspired as its leader until tonight. I had two people show up and they helped make my day much better. We discussed our challenges with each other and talked about what we could do to improve our weekly meetings. We talked alot about our own challenges and we came... Wed, 2 Jan 2013 22:02:04 EST Back on track My first video blog I have ever done. I think I am going to add something everyday so it is always here when I post. I need to see the changes for it to seem real to me. Not a good picture of me as i just washed my hair and didn't dry and curl it but it is me anyways and I guess it shows me where I am starting from. I guess this my Woohoo moment. This is my time now and I am gonna make it this time. Sun, 30 Dec 2012 17:49:31 EST Back on track well, I fell off the wagon in regards to my weight loss but that's o.k. because I have decided to just climb back on with more realistic goals. This time I am going to take it 1 day at a time because all you can do is live one day at a time. The past is done and the future is still in front of me and no one knows what it may bring so living in the present day to day is more realistic. I belong to a support group but I am dissapointed with what is happening in it. I need to do this for me.... Sun, 30 Dec 2012 17:32:30 EST What will it take??? I have decided that I need to find some other ways of tracking what I eat and what I do for exercise and also how to track what I weigh that will be right in my face everyday. So, I am putting together a sheet that I am going to post on my fridge to track my exercise and weight <BR> and i already have a food journal that i can take with me but I need to start using it more often. I can then enter all the information on my page so I can track. <BR> <BR> My bestfriend has joined now and I am... Thu, 19 Jul 2012 00:30:38 EST Struggling along I seem to be having a bit of a hard time this week. We moved all the rest of our "accumulated years of stuff" into our new home and I am finding that all the stuff is really getting me down and so very tired. I am not ready to give up on myself though so i am going to keep trudging forward in my pursuit of a healthier life. I am going to make the changes necessary to get healthier for myself and for my family. I want to have more energy and be able to move my body more easily. I am going... Wed, 4 Jul 2012 01:07:02 EST Another great day!! The sun is out finally and the tempurature is finally warmer. I took some time for myself again today to walk at lunch instead of staying at my desking and reading after eating my lunch. The sun was wonderful and the walk was nice. I am looking forward to another great day tomorrow. I avoided the candy again today and that makes 4 days in a row now. I am shooting for 30 days and know that if I keep that in my mind everytime I get the munchies that I will get there one day at a time. Thu, 21 Jun 2012 21:52:18 EST Busy Busy Busy As the title says I was really busy at work today. The boss is away and us girls did some serious reorganization and cleaning. I work as a shipper/Receiver and accounting clerk for a pharmacy and my little space was way to inefficient and crowded so I moved both computers onto my long desk and got rid of 2 stands that were just taking up space. I was sweating pretty good today. I have to say it looks fantastic and I even took the space for a trial run today. It feels good to have a space... Wed, 20 Jun 2012 23:00:14 EST A Good Day to Bake but not eat Had a good day today even with the news that my favourite Uncle passed away this morning. I believe he knew his time was near as he spent 2 weeks with my dad and got to see each of us before he left us. I know he is in a much better place as the cancer took so much out of him and it dragged on forever. I am at peace with his leaving us and now he is with my son and mother. I had a desire to bake today and so I made cookies and Banana muffins to take to work tomorrow. I have not baked in ... Sun, 10 Jun 2012 22:31:44 EST