BLONDEDOG's SparkPeople Blog BLONDEDOG's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Today is important... Every day is important. I know that. I simply mean, in regards to my health, this day is important. Today is day 3 of my streak....this is where I've been falling off lately. I NEED to make it past this day and meet my goals. Today I am going to drink 64 oz of water, and exercise 10 minutes. It isn't much, I know this. I do not care. I KNOW this is what got me going before and it will get me going again. I'm not too worried about my diet at the moment, that will come later. Although ... Wed, 9 Mar 2016 10:10:56 EST A start.....for the 1,382 time... I met my goals for yesterday. I rode my bike for 10 minutes. I had a huge to do list and when I got home it was so nice that the boyfriend wanted to go for a ride in the jeep. We ended up being gone for over an hour and a half. Whoops. I had all these things on my list and one of the them was my 10 minutes on the bike. I could have made an excuse not to do it since I had so much to do. What would have happened the day before? I would have done the other things on my list and then been... Tue, 8 Mar 2016 08:34:38 EST Alarming.... My weight is going up at an alarming rate. I had managed to hold steady, but the lifestyle is finally getting to me. I talk a big talk, but dang I keep failing. Last week I wanted to work out 3 days, 20 minutes each day. That is so should be easy. I was wrong. I let myself get busy and before I know it it's time to go to bed. So once again I'm going to make the goal even easier to meet, one day at a time. Today my goal is to do 10 minutes on my bike and drink 32 ounces o... Mon, 7 Mar 2016 08:26:36 EST Same old same old... Well poop. I am terrible on follow through. I only managed to workout 2 days last week for a total of 40 minutes. Bonus? I worked out 2 days last week! Woot! This weeks goal, workout at least 3 days and bump up to 15 minutes of cardio instead of 10. It's not much, but it's something. My weight is creeping up so I need to get a handle on this and FAST. It will help if I get in here and blog daily. <BR> <BR> I'm about to have (I think) one of the best summers of my life, if all goes... Mon, 29 Feb 2016 08:50:23 EST Same story, different day... So, I decided to try to workout....I made up a great tracking log and started right away which happened to be Tuesday. The routine is simple.....some very mild strength training along with 10 minutes of cardio. I was so excited because I actually went home and did it. No excuses. I did once everything else was done but BEFORE I sat down for snuggles. It didn't take long and was fairly pain free. Wednesday comes along and BAM, nailed it! Plus I did a couple extra minutes cardio just bec... Fri, 26 Feb 2016 12:02:36 EST Why is it so hard? Why is something that used to be so easy now so hard? It drives me crazy. I cannot figure out how to get back into exercising. The day just slips away before I know it. I am clearly not committed to it. I can't even manage to do 10 minutes a day. I want to do it in the morning but that has never worked for me. I never have enough energy in the mornings to make any workout I do effective. My body feels so "heavy" in the mornings. Yuck. But the evenings aren't working anymore either. ... Tue, 23 Feb 2016 08:30:22 EST So much love... With the tragedy that happened in my family yesterday (my cousin and his 4 year old grand daughter died in a house fire). I was amazed with the out pouring of love from the community. I have a huge family. Just about everyone in my hometown and surrounding communities knows one of us, is married to one, went to school with one, played baseball or softball with one, or fought with one (lol). What a blessing to see how the community has truly been touched by their lives. <BR> <BR> Today a... Thu, 4 Feb 2016 08:25:38 EST Holy meatballs batman... Today I was supposed to do a 2 1/2 minute plank. I tried. I got 2 minutes and 10 seconds. I was disappointed, but determined I was going to do it. I rested for a while and then got back down there and did it. I didn't think I would ever be able to do that. I cannot tell you how stoked I am about that. Tomorrow is a rest day thankfully and then I think I have 2 more days of 2 1/2 minutes and then I bump up to 3. I swear I never thought that it would be possible, but why not? Why not m... Wed, 3 Feb 2016 09:19:51 EST Busy busy and holy cow that was hard! So, what a wonderfully busy weekend. My kiddo was with his Dad this weekend and that's always hard. I miss him so much when he's gone. I find I definitely appreciate him when he's back though. I spent the bulk of Saturday at an off road expo with my boyfriend and his 19 year old son. We had a blast. They are fun people. It was fun to hear my boyfriend talk about something he enjoys so much, turned into a little boy. His son said something really nice about us. He said it's the happie... Mon, 1 Feb 2016 08:46:14 EST Kachow! Hehehe! In such a good mood today. I was sick yesterday, which was a bummer...but I recovered pretty well by the end of the night. I managed to do 10 minutes on the bike. It's a start. I'm not worried about how much time I spend on it right now, I'm concerned with consistency. I know me and I know if I get on there trying to do what I used to do I'll end up giving up because it's too hard. I am way out of shape. I have to get in the habit, the increase. Yay! Also, I did my 1 1/2 min... Fri, 29 Jan 2016 08:57:40 EST A start So, I did what I set out to do yesterday. I moved the bike back to where it belongs. I feel great. I am up to hold a 90 second plank, the goal being 5 minutes...oh my! I haven't rode my bike in months, but I'm ready. <BR> <BR> I'm working on feeling beautiful, inside and out. I must find my confidence! <BR> <BR> Hope you all have a wonderful day. Today I am going to ride my bike for at least 10 minutes. No excuses. Thu, 28 Jan 2016 09:58:07 EST A new chapter... So, I'm struggling to exercise. Hard. I keep telling myself I'll do just 10 minutes, but I get distracted and busy and skip it. I end up on the couch snuggling with my loves and deciding that's more important. Tonight I am not promising to exercise. Tonight I am promising to move my bike back to my living room. It was moved to make room for a Christmas tree that has been down nearly a month. It is time to put it back where it belongs. I feel like once I get this done it will be far ea... Wed, 27 Jan 2016 10:53:50 EST Moving forward...and upward So, here I am. Updating again. Few and far between. Life isn't fair sometimes, you know? Stuff has been crazy lately. My divorce is final. I knew it was coming, but why it was so difficult to actually here that it was over....I have no idea. It hurt pretty bad. That was a rough day. Another rough day....yesterday when my ex told me he was getting a house with his girlfriend, the singer in his band. The girl he has been claiming all along he wasn't seeing. I'm seeing someone, so why... Tue, 26 Jan 2016 14:12:09 EST Big changes! Hello friends. I know I've been absent far too long. I have to say things were going pretty rough and I was gearing up for the worst holiday season of my life. Somehow it turned in to one of the best. The exception being that I missed so much time with my awesome kiddo so that he could spend time with his Dad. He loved it thought and it all worked out pretty well. So long as he's happy that's all I care about at the moment. <BR> <BR> Some of you know that my husband left me a few month... Tue, 5 Jan 2016 10:38:41 EST Rough... Hello friends. It's been a rough couple of months. My life has turned completely upside down. I just never saw this coming, guess I had blinders on. Life without my husband in it has been difficult. He has been my best friend from nearly the second I met him. <BR> <BR> There have been so many things happening since I chatted here last. So, most of you know my husband left me. He filed for divorce rather quickly....a month or so after he left and we agreed on everything so it will be ... Tue, 8 Dec 2015 08:29:59 EST Today is a (that person) free day... I have determined that for one day I need to be free from that person. I will not name him, I will not speak about him, or to him. I will not respond to texts, nor initiate texts. Today I am free. Today, I give myself permission to laugh and be free. Today, I get to be me again, even for just the day. <BR> <BR> Thank you so much for your continued support. It helps keep my (in person) friends and family from burn out, lol. <BR> <BR> So, onward. Today I intend to begin my exercise r... Tue, 6 Oct 2015 10:02:02 EST Meh... Today is a blah day. I am miserable without my husband. I'm trying to fake it till I make it. Some days that works better than others. I hate that I allowed myself such a false sense of security. I feel like the past 15 years have been some giant cosmic joke. Jokes on me. Haha. Nothing like hearing I love you for 15 years just to find out maybe that was never true. Hard not to tie your self worth to that. Ultimately I know that this problem, whatever it is, is his. But still, in th... Mon, 5 Oct 2015 08:52:31 EST Not such a goodish day... I'm a mess today. Crying again. Ooooh.....I hate this so much. It is so miserable and I'm mad as hell. My friend says "fake it till you make it" but it just isn't working today. <BR> <BR> Today is his birthday. It's the first birthday in 15 years I have spent with him....mine or his. 30 birthdays together....gone like yesterdays trash. Wed, 30 Sep 2015 15:57:11 EST Today is a goodish day... I did my hair, and put makeup up. That's something. I didn't wake up crying. That's something. I woke up with a bit of clarity. One, that I have put him on a pedestal and I need to take him off. Two, that each time he says the words "I want to help you move on" or "if it will help you" or "if you think you need it", what he is really doing is looking for a way to assuage his guilt. Third, that it's been a long time since he has truly shown he cared about me, as far as spending quality ... Tue, 29 Sep 2015 11:27:57 EST Sadder than I ever knew I could be... I went to the therapist and I suppose it helped for a minute, but this afternoon has been a disaster. I do not know how to deal with this. I am starting to give up on the idea of a reconciliation. He is completely opposed to it and I can't force it. He seems to truly have no feelings for me whatsoever. It isn't easy to accept, but I don't think I have much choice. He really seems done with us forever. It's so hard to admit that. Mon, 28 Sep 2015 15:49:42 EST Restoration... Something I heard today resonated with me. Reconciling is building the bridge, but the bridge still needs to be restored. That is my new outlook on this devastating time in my life. I am working on WANTING my husband by my side, not NEEDING him by my side. I am working on admitting my short comings, while also not placing blame squarely on my shoulders. I am not going to focus on his short comings because I can't fix those. I am not going to ask the why's from him. If he wishes to shar... Fri, 25 Sep 2015 09:06:49 EST Crushed... I'm sorry folks. It's gonna be a while before I have anything positive to write about. My whole world is crashing down. My husband is the love of my life. We've been together for 15 years, I was prepared to grow old with him. I know people go through this and they persevere, but it's so hard to remember that right now. He is absolute in his desire to not try to reconcile. Today I have reached a point where I just want to give in and give up. I really want him to be happy, and if that ... Thu, 24 Sep 2015 08:54:07 EST Devestating news... My husband left me. Just said he didn't love me anymore and if he stayed it would kill him. Having a very hard time coping with this. I have made an appointment with a counselor for Monday morning. After that I will see about family counseling for me and my son. John is not interested in doing marital counseling and I won't force him. My heart feels as though it is breaking in two. Wed, 23 Sep 2015 13:28:10 EST Blogging... is everything. It really is. I "forget" to live healthy when I'm not blogging on a daily basis. I'm so glad this particular media is available to me. Even if I complain a bit about the ads. The ads have encroached on my experience here and that is bothersome. I need this though so I have no choice but to overlook it. <BR> <BR> Anyway, it's been a day or two since I've blogged. I'm not going to lie, I haven't been living very healthy. I use life to make excuses for myself. I will say... Mon, 14 Sep 2015 09:49:51 EST A jog with my dog... Yep, wogging with my doggy. I love it. Makes it so much more fun. She is an excellent companion and running partner. Last night we went out and I did 60 counts wogging to 100 counts fast walking. Just one mile. My initial goal is to get to 100/100, then start decreasing the amount of walking until I can eventually "wog" the whole mile. Add that to having my bike rack and I have lots of exciting things happening right now. The best part is having my family involved. <BR> <BR> I hope... Wed, 2 Sep 2015 09:36:10 EST Eeek! My husband is fantastic! Yesterday he went a bought a bike rack for us! YAY! I wish I could call off work to go on a bike ride. That will make things significantly easier. <BR> <BR> We went on a bike ride just around our neighborhood yesterday which is flatter and good for me to build up some endurance. It amazes me how hard it is for me. I used to ride my stationary bike for 45 minutes at 18 to 21 miles an hour. Of course I haven't done that in years. Definitely need to get some of ... Tue, 1 Sep 2015 09:33:02 EST Hello Monday! Well, I didn't have the best weekend, but it wasn't horrible. I did get to go on a bike ride with my family that was quite lovely. There was a big hill that I had to push my bike I was the only one who couldn't make it. My SEVEN year old son made it and he doesn't have any gears on his bike. I could let this get me down, but I choose not to. In fact, I think it's fantastic, it gives me a goal to work towards. Now if I can just convince my family to keep going with me till I ... Mon, 31 Aug 2015 09:11:55 EST Do.not.even.ask. Please don't. Yesterday was not a good day. Not diet wise, no exercise wise. Just don't ask. For real. The key will be bouncing back today and not letting one rotten day turn into 7 rotten days. <BR> <BR> Tomorrow I will let you know how today went. If today goes well then yesterday will effectively be erased. This has been my problem in the recent bad day to rule them all. <BR> <BR> Keep me in your thoughts today. <BR> <BR> MAY I BE STRONG WILLED AND OVERCOME MY T... Thu, 27 Aug 2015 08:58:20 EST I would love... To tell you I was perfect yesterday, but I wasn't. <BR> <BR> To say that I am at my goal weight, but I'm not. <BR> <BR> To say I'm not addicted to food, but I am. <BR> <BR> To say I'm not lazy, but I am. <BR> <BR> To say that regardless of all these things I was successful yesterday. I was. <BR> <BR> I am proud of myself. Yesterday wasn't perfect, but it was an improvement. I am so excited to continue towards better health. <BR> <BR> Join me in patting yourself and each other on th... Wed, 26 Aug 2015 08:27:52 EST I know you The bell rings in the distance <BR> Forcing me to come alive <BR> Forcing my raw nerves to the front <BR> Each ring peels another layer of skin <BR> From my already seeping body <BR> Blood flows freely from each <BR> Bell inflicted wound <BR> My head throbs as the blood leaves my body <BR> Death is on my doorstep <BR> Not knocking, nothing so polite <BR> Kicking the door down <BR> Making itself heard <BR> There is no room for my arguments <BR> It will take me before the night is through <BR> ... Tue, 25 Aug 2015 11:47:59 EST What did I do right? Well I'm glad you asked. I would love to tell you what I finally managed to do right yesterday. <BR> <BR> 1. I brought an extra healthy snack to work for the afternoon because I'm always starving by the time I get home and start snacking before super is ready. Yes! <BR> <BR> 2. I drank all my needed water for the day before I left work. I worked it into my routine....I take a sip between every person I call, or every date I log, etc. Yes! <BR> <BR> 3. I ate a healthy lunch, pretty c... Tue, 25 Aug 2015 08:17:41 EST Weight is up, but... I'm staying positive. I'm going to revamp my routine a bit starting tonight. It has worked well in the past for getting me back into the habit of working out. It's pretty simple soon as the kiddo is in bed I need to hop on the bike. That's it. Easy peasy. I can definitely do that. And how rewarding it will be to finally sit down on the couch and relax. I feel pretty confident that I can do this one minor little thing. I'm not gonna worry about my diet as much this week, ... Mon, 24 Aug 2015 08:32:30 EST 3 steps forward... 2 steps back. We've heard it AND said it a thousand times, but man is it the truth. I'm working, I'm working the minimum at it. Let me just take a minute and be honest about that. I like to tell myself I'm working hard at this thing called life, but I'm not. There's so much more I can do. For instance, last night I just let myself skip my workout. For absolutely NO reason what-so-ever. I just sat there on the couch with my husband watching a movie and being lazy. We're get... Fri, 21 Aug 2015 08:34:13 EST Rough day... I'm have a rough day today. I don't know why. I'm emotional for some reason. Yesterday was mostly a wreck, nothing went right. I did manage to get in 15 minutes on the bike and that felt good, but that was just about it, other than the time I spent with my kiddo which is almost always awesome. This morning I just can't seem to get my act together. I'm sitting at work feeling like I'm going to dissolve into tears any second. I want to just go home and have a good cry, get it out of my s... Wed, 12 Aug 2015 10:05:11 EST Managing.... Okay, so I've been posting pretty heavy stuff lately. I think all of that was sort of holding me back and I needed to get it out there, be honest about it. It's hard to do that because I am so ashamed of it, but it happened and I can't go back and change it. I CAN move forward. <BR> <BR> So, moving on to a lighter subject. <BR> <BR> I managed to go to the fair last night and not eat like a little piggy....thank goodness it was this week and not last week because that would have been a di... Tue, 11 Aug 2015 08:59:46 EST Finale... So, Friday I left off having had my son and weighing quite a bit less than I did pre-pregnancy. So, what happened next? <BR> <BR> I pumped for 12 months, so for 12 months I kept right on eating healthy. I lost 30 pounds without even trying. It melted off. By this time, I knew I could do it. It wasn't a matter of if, but WHEN. I stopped pumping, but I kept right on eating healthy. But I was stuck. I needed another change. So I added in cardio. But I struggled to stick with it. A fr... Mon, 10 Aug 2015 08:59:24 EST How I got to be thick....part 2 So yesterday we left off with me continuing to gain weight after stopping my weight gain causing seizure medicine. <BR> <BR> Here's the thing. By that time I was a young, happily married, very unhealthy woman. But I was missing something in my life. A baby. I wanted one so bad. So, when I was 5 years seizure free we started trying to conceive. Two years later I finally admitted that we needed help. The first thing they said was that I need to lose weight. Mind you, my primary care do... Fri, 7 Aug 2015 09:30:05 EST How I got to be...ahem...thick So, it is so frustrating to do so well and then backslide. Some of you may know my story, some may not. <BR> <BR> My weight problems began...I think....around my senior year of high school. I had always maintained a healthy weight simply by being active, BUT I never learned to exercise specifically for health reasons....I was just active because the sport/activity was available to me and I enjoyed it. It's the same old story after school that a lot of people more organized acti... Thu, 6 Aug 2015 09:43:47 EST Day 3 of my reboot... Exercise = <BR> <BR> much better. Yesterday I added in 22 minutes of walking. I did one less minute on the bike, but I stepped up my speed and did the same distance in less time. I also added in a 30 second plank. <BR> <BR> Today's goal: Walk one mile and do 10 minutes on the bike doing a plank every 3 minutes for as long as I can hold it. <BR> <BR> Food = <BR> <BR> Eh. Not so great. I have a pretty good idea of why that is and hopefully that will pass. I did fix a healthy lunch... Wed, 5 Aug 2015 09:26:20 EST Tuesday Tuesday Tuesday It is Tuesday and the second day of my reboot. Yesterday was OK. I ate more than I would like, but still it was an improvement over the day before. I exercised a minimal amount, but I did it. It's a start. I am trying to get back into the habit of logging my workouts again and blogging every morning. Blogging helps me more than just about anything. Anyone who knows me knows that I have said that many times in the past. <BR> <BR> Another area for concern is my house.....I hate a mess... Tue, 4 Aug 2015 13:46:56 EST Good morning, good August Hello friends. It's been a while, I know. I'm not going to lie, I haven't been doing great. I never do when I stop blogging. I have managed not to go back over 200 and I suppose that's something to be happy about. But you know what? This is a new month and I'm going to buckle down and try to get my eating under control and exercise regularly again. I have been so sick the past week and I know without a doubt that if I was still exercise regularly and eating healthy that I may not have ... Mon, 3 Aug 2015 08:41:27 EST Trying... To use this website from my computer is the most frustrating experience. The ads have gotten so bad it's practically not worth using anymore. And unfortunately the app leaves a bit to be desired. I'm here, but struggling to make Sparkpeople work for me anymore. Hope all of my friends are doing well. Mon, 27 Jul 2015 09:55:21 EST Hello friends... I'm still around, though not doing as well as I could be. I am recommitting today. I started by being honest with my weight. I have gained just over 5 pounds since I last logged my weight. Honestly, I expected it to be worse. I can handle 5 pounds. I've been on vacation the past week and not eating very well or exercising was pretty bad most days. No worries though, I'm way past the time when I would just give up on myself. I know I can do this and I know it doesn't ma... Mon, 13 Jul 2015 08:40:19 EST Stepping up... I absolutely must step up. It isn't always easy. Especially right now because I am SO busy. I am away from home at least 9 hours a day 5 days of the week. Sometimes by the time I get to a point that I can exercise (and I cannot do it in the morning....I tried and failed miserably) there's no time left in the day and I'm about to fall over. To top it off my back has been hurting for some reason this week. Yesterday was a crusty day....I laid on the couch on the heating pad two different ... Wed, 24 Jun 2015 09:33:25 EST Trying... Good morning. So, most of you know I've been struggling a bit. This is part of my attempt to regain control over my body. I feel so many negatives from letting my health slide. But right now I'm going to talk about a positive of getting back to working out. My energy level. It is finally starting to improve. All last week I ate veggie stew for my was so yummy and I think really gave me a lot of the vitamins and such that my diet has truly been lacking. Also I have met one ... Tue, 23 Jun 2015 08:09:41 EST Hola friends... A goal. One that will help me get back on track more than anything else. One Spark blog per day. It doesn't matter what time of day, it doesn't matter how many words, only that I do it. That I make it happen. This outlet works so well for me and I KNOW it. I must get back to it. I'm amazed at how many of you have stuck with me and I know I am so very lucky to have you in my life. <BR> <BR> So today my goal is to ride my bike for 27 minutes BEFORE I sit down on the couch. I cannot sit... Mon, 22 Jun 2015 12:34:09 EST Good morning! Well the sun is definitely not shining here today but I'm doing my best to bring my own shine to the party. I've been missing in action for a while, I know. All is not lost. I am exercising more, though still not where I want to be. My eating habits.....well.....let's just say they aren't spectacular. I am currently working on making small changes....things that I know work. <BR> <BR> 1. Water. I need more of it so I have a rule that I have to drink 32 oz of water BEFORE I have my m... Fri, 19 Jun 2015 09:12:05 EST I'm here.... I swear I am. I will do my very best to drop in tomorrow for a better blog. I just wanted to let you know I'm hanging in there. Diet is crap, exercise is improving. I'm working on the diet, but not very hard. I am making small changes and that is helpful. Take care, I hope you are doing amazing! Thu, 18 Jun 2015 22:04:48 EST Well... I'm here. It's been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster for me, but I'm hanging in. I was reluctant to put this out there, but at this point there's no real reason in keeping it quiet any longer. My husband and I decided to try for a second child. I'm getting up there in age and so it needed to happen sooner rather than later. I have a medical condition that requires me to take medication to get pregnant. Unfortunately during the 4th round of it (it only took 2 rounds with my first kidd... Wed, 10 Jun 2015 08:23:02 EST Gaining... So, something that MANY of us are familiar with here....gaining weight when you first get started. poor husband has gained two pounds and is getting might frustrated. Last time he lost weight all he had to do was cut out regular soda....well he isn't finding it as easy this time. I hate watching him go through it and I keep waiting for him to give up. I've tried to encourage him to find out how many calories he should be eating and even to join Sparkpeople with no luck yet. It... Thu, 28 May 2015 09:49:36 EST