BLONDEDOG's SparkPeople Blog BLONDEDOG's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Sorry stats. July. I apologize. Body, I apologize for the month of July. My stats are terrible. I am pleased that I have managed to avoid gaining weight, so that's something. I am not happy with my cardio for this month, but instead of focusing on that, let me tell you a little story about the girl who couldn't. <BR> <BR> She missed a workout, so she quit. She ate a brownie, so she ate the rest of the pan. She failed to get the dishes done one night, so the next day she didn't do the laundry eithe... Tue, 29 Jul 2014 08:56:08 EST What's your excuse today? Here are my excuses TO exercise today.... <BR> <BR> 1. It makes me feel so much better! <BR> 2. It puts me in a better mood! <BR> 3. It makes me feel a sense of accomplishment! <BR> 4. It helps me release pent up frustration! <BR> 5. I'll be sitting in the room with my bike anyway, might as well put my sitting to good use! <BR> 6. It sets a great example for my son! <BR> 7. It will help me lose weight and feel great about myself! <BR> 8. It doesn't take very long! <BR> 9. I need som... Mon, 28 Jul 2014 08:26:50 EST Always getting back into it... Really, I feel like it's the same old cycle over and over again. I will say that I was only truly "off" for 2 or 3 weeks, much better than the last time which was several months. It's always amazing to me the difference cardio makes in my life. I haven't been sleeping well and wasn't feeling very good either. Sure, I only did 10 minutes last night, but it sure did make a big difference in how I slept and how I felt this morning when I got up. No tossing and turning, I slept like a log, a... Tue, 22 Jul 2014 08:45:06 EST Hello! Hi guys! How's it going? It's great here, thank you for asking. <BR> <BR> Sure, my wrist is still hurting, and my tummy is upset, BUT and this is a big brother is doing great. I cannot believe how strong that man is. He is determined to heal quickly. It seems to me like he's doing just enough, but not more than what he should be doing. Just last night he began to be able to get himself out of bed without assistance! <BR> <BR> Anyway, I need to update about me. Exercise wise... Mon, 21 Jul 2014 08:52:14 EST With one hand tied behind my back.... or on ice. So, I woke up Monday with limited mobility in my dominant wrist. Nice. Got a brace and it is doing better. no dctor yet, too busy. typing one handed isnt easy lol. better update later. Fri, 18 Jul 2014 08:14:43 EST I know it isn't easy... Listen. It isn't. We want it to be. If it were easy we wouldn't learn to grow. I'm not gonna lie, I'm struggling right now. I haven't been exercising and I just ate 3 McDonald's chocolate chip cookies AND a medium fry. <BR> <BR> Am I giving up on myself or my goals? <BR> <BR> No I'm not. <BR> <BR> You know why? <BR> <BR> Because I am better than that. I am bigger than that. I am fabulous, I am fierce, I am determined. <BR> <BR> Yesterday I sat in a waiting room for 9.5 hours whi... Thu, 17 Jul 2014 14:17:38 EST Ouch! I have skipped a lot of cardio lately. Yikes! I don't have time to make this a long drawn on post. And really, that isn't necessary. I've straight up been LAZY! I'm glad I've been tracking my daily mileage on my Spark Page because it makes it very noticeable to me. <BR> <BR> My goal for today is simple. Get back on my bike, no excuses. I can do this and will feel better when I do! <BR> <BR> If your slacking off, step it up today! We can do this!!! <BR> <BR> WE ALL ROCK!!! Mon, 14 Jul 2014 09:42:29 EST Gosh, I forgot how cute I am! I was just having a conversation with a coworker about body image and self esteem. She has a nasty scar on her stomach from a surgery she had a year or so ago. When she looks in the mirror all she sees is that scar. How easy it is to say "you just need to get over it". She is a beautiful person and yet she can't see past that scar. I told her a story about my self esteem. I always had low self esteem as a young lady. I had big feet, frizzy hair, coke bottle glasses, scrawny legs, and t... Fri, 11 Jul 2014 10:21:25 EST No bike last night, lots of exercise though! Seriously. A lot. Wore me out. It was definitely an honest days work. My husband is putting a new roof on my house as we speak. Yesterday he was tearing off, so when I got home I spent a good long while loading old shingles into a trailer and then drove it to the dumpster and emptied it in there. Then my Dad an I drug a load of them around the house on a tarp and put those in the dumpster. Then we hauled 12 sheets of sheathing up to the roof! Woof! It was a great workout! It felt go... Thu, 10 Jul 2014 13:14:02 EST Finding my mojo... It isn't easy once it's been lost. You have to dig deep to find it now. It's there, it's just hidden away in the dark corners of your mind. I stopped and paused for just a moment to allow myself to really feel what it felt like to be without cardio for an entire week. I wanted to listen to my body and really hear what it was telling me. Sure, I was busy and did a lot of running, but I didn't do much actually deliberate exercise. Boy does my body feel it. My neck hurts, my shoulders hur... Tue, 8 Jul 2014 08:37:43 EST A funeral, a long car ride, lots of tears, and a lot of memories... My title says it all. Today is my first day back to work after 10 days of and I am exhausted. I cannot wait to go home and take a nap. I have so many stories from the past 10 days I hardly know where to start. It was a whirl wind week starting with the calling on Friday and funeral on Saturday. I was so tired from crying that Sunday and most of Monday were a wash. We spent Monday trying to figure out if we were going to go somewhere. We had just settled on going to Cedar Point when my ... Mon, 7 Jul 2014 15:12:09 EST Here we go.... Oh oh oh! <BR> <BR> Honestly, I don't have much to say today. It's a big day. It's my last day of work before vacation starts, no I'm not going have to have money to do that, lol. Today is the calling/viewing for my Aunt AND my brother in laws CD release party is tonight. I'm not completely sure I'm going to be up for the CD release party after going to the viewing. Tomorrow is the calling and then I have nothing on my schedule until the 4th of July. <BR> <BR> Hopeful... Fri, 27 Jun 2014 08:50:51 EST Work it girl! I did too. I love when I'm working out and have sweat pouring off my face, dripping off the end of my nose! Makes me feel like I am in control. I'm working hard at improving my speed and I'm still adding one minute a week to my time. I am up to 33 minutes and Sunday I'll bump it up to 34. So yes, last night I had a wonderful workout. My eating yesterday however was not so lovely. I ate an entire snack size bag of honey mustard pretzel pieces and entire snack size bag of snickerdoodle m... Thu, 26 Jun 2014 08:27:45 EST Sweat away the pain That's my new goal this week. Sweat away the pain instead of eat away the pain. I had a wonderful day yesterday, as far as diet goes. Emotionally? Well.....I handled it anyway. Part of my angst is that my Aunt and my Mom are the same age. It scares me something awful. My Momma does not take good care of herself. She doesn't eat right, she doesn't exercise, and she smokes. Urgh. Scares me. And it seems like more and more people around me have cancer. Cancer sucks. <BR> <BR> Anyway... Wed, 25 Jun 2014 08:55:00 EST If I ever doubted before... There is none now. I have a problem. I use food for comfort. I know this is not uncommon. I am far from the only person who has this problem. BUT, I do have this problem. Back when I first lost my weight this wasn't a problem for me. My habits were so ingrained that it would have taken a a huge effort on my part to depart from them for even a day. Now not so much. For instance. I happen to love Aldi's chicken/cranberry salad. So I stopped and bought me a container. When I got home... Tue, 24 Jun 2014 08:36:55 EST Well.... She's gone. My Aunt I mean. She passed last night. I love her a lot and it's hard to imagine a world without her. I know life goes on. At least we knew this was going to happen in advance and we've been able to shower her with love. Just Friday night they had her outside and set off fireworks for her. Do yourself a favor and hold your love ones extra tight tonight and give the ones you haven't talked to in a while a call. <BR> <BR> <em>220</em> Mon, 23 Jun 2014 08:26:24 EST Skipping cardio is becoming old hat... There is no faster way for me to pile on the pounds then to start skipping my cardio. That's exactly what I have been doing this week. For various reasons as some as you might know. One day because I'm lazy, one day because I'm said, and last night because I didn't get home until very late and was going off of very little sleep from the night before due to my little one being scared of the thunder. I know it's an excuse, but I couldn't have gotten on that bike last night if you tied me to... Fri, 20 Jun 2014 08:24:57 EST Rough day yesterday... It was a rough day. An emotional day. And I'm an emotional eater. I did well with my food. I managed not to eat outside of my schedule snacks and meals which is really a big deal for me. Typically when I feel like this I get over it by stopping at the store on the way home and buying junk food, which I proceed to finish before I walk through the door 35 minutes later, and hide the evidence in the car. This time I was just down all night. I felt like I just couldn't get off the couch. ... Thu, 19 Jun 2014 08:21:42 EST Getting over the hump It isn't easy. In fact it can be downright depressing. It is so frustrating and in the past (since I gained my weight back) I have simply given up. That hill just seemed so steep. I'd get to peak and wouldn't have enough in me for that little push over the top. <BR> <BR> This time seems different. I have gotten frustrated, many of you probably figured that out from my last blog. This time though, instead of giving up, I just put my head down and pushed forward. I listened to my body a... Wed, 18 Jun 2014 10:03:44 EST Frustrated... Yeah. I'll admit it. I am frustrated. The weight is not coming off like I expected. I feel like I am working very hard and have made big changes in how I eat. Yet the weight just refuses to budge. <BR> <BR> That being said, I am not one for histrionics. I know that if I keep working hard and pushing forward I will eventually see progress. Also, I am quite aware that there are people who really can't lose weight. My weight did go down this week, though not as much as I would have li... Mon, 16 Jun 2014 08:32:18 EST I keep going.... I keep working hard. I keep pushing forward. Every day it comes a little easier. Last night I got home so late, I didn't want to ride my bike, I just wanted to go to bed. Guess what? I did it anyway. I pushed through and did it. And it wasn't really that hard. I am proud of myself. Now if I can really fix up my eating habits. <BR> <BR> Hope you have a great weekend. <BR> <BR> WE ALL ROCK!!! Fri, 13 Jun 2014 08:10:18 EST Updates Good morning. I hope you are having a good start to your day. I am a little groggy today because I keep getting to bed late, but I have grand plans to into bed early tonight. <BR> <BR> I am so pleased with my cardio sessions. I am getting better and faster all the time. It is becoming part of my routine now which is a great relief. <BR> <BR> My food intake is definitely improving. This is the hardest for me because I am so weak when it comes to food. I've had to eat fast food a co... Thu, 12 Jun 2014 08:31:15 EST The memories The memories will sustain us long after you are gone. The bright light we have always known will never truly extinguish. It will shine on in the memories we have of you. We will always see your loving smile. We will always feel your kind touch. We will always hear you in our hearts. We will always smell you in the flowers and fresh cut green grass. We will always know your love. Our memories surround us, floating on butterfly wings and glittering on moon beams. A million tiny twinkli... Wed, 11 Jun 2014 09:49:56 EST Every Beat When the wind dies down there is only the ticking of the clock to keep me company. There are no birds chirping, no rain twinkling, no sun sizzling on the pavement. I wonder at the quietness of it all, even my breath is barely discernible. What I do hear, albeit internally, is every pounding beat of my heart in my chest. The continual and steady thump of every beat is alarming in the sense that it seems to be the background noise to impending doom. If I close my eyes I can very nearly env... Tue, 10 Jun 2014 08:28:49 EST Right on cue I worked hard this weekend. We got some projects done, or mostly done anyway. I did exercise every day. I got to golf with my husband and brother in law. We all stink in case you're wondering. I didn't know I was going to be golfing so I did not have the appropriate foot wear. So I may have golfed bare footed, don't judge me! lol. Got to swim at the lake this weekend. I am determined to build up my stamina this year. I used to be able to swim laps like no ones business, but man I ti... Mon, 9 Jun 2014 09:00:27 EST Feeling tired, but hopeful That pretty much sums it up in 4 simple words. I feel so sleepy this morning and I have a little headache right above my left eye that keeps coming and going in short painful bursts. Fortunately for me I have a wonderful job that includes health coaching. I happen to have a wonderful patient coming in for a session today and I feel very hopeful. I can't wait to hear about her progress and to find out what's been going on in her life since we last spoke. <BR> <BR> Anyway, Have a wonderfu... Fri, 6 Jun 2014 08:04:48 EST Stress...what I do about it Stress. Ugh. I hate stress. I swear I turn into an animal when I am stressed. I don't know that I show it outwardly, but on the inside I turn into a raging lunatic lion who has clearly had nothing to eat in months. The land has dried up and all of the prey has evacuated the immediate area. For me the crowning glory of stress is that moment food becomes available to the lion. All hell breaks loose and chaos reigns supreme. There is nothing, NOTHING sacred to the lion. He will eat anyt... Thu, 5 Jun 2014 08:33:48 EST My swan... Once upon a time there was this swan named Heather. Heather thought she was the prettiest swan in the lake. And she was. She held her head high and swam from end to end. She knew every nook and cranny of her home. She preened and fluffed her feathers. She stretched her neck as high as it would go. She knew that no other creature in that lake could match her beauty and grace. <BR> <BR> One day as Heather was floating in her favorite area of the lake, right beneath a beautiful willow tr... Wed, 4 Jun 2014 08:40:00 EST I'm not bitter or anything... So....what am I bitter about you ask? did you know I was bitter? I distinctly remember saying I wasn't bitter. <BR> <BR> It's stupid. It's childish. It's immature. Whatever (accompanied by a very dramatic eye roll). <BR> <BR> I've been using SparkPeople for a lot of years. I have very much enjoyed writing blogs. I love to write and this gives me a wonderful outlet. I like that people who know me don't read them, for the most part. It's embarassing to have someone read, w... Tue, 3 Jun 2014 08:21:31 EST It's not motivation I need, it's determination... I have motivation in spades. I have a million reasons why I want to lose weight, why I should lose weight, why I need to lose weight, and why I have to lose weight. Really, I do. I'm guessing you do too. <BR> <BR> I'll name just a few. <BR> <BR> 1. To lower my blood pressure. <BR> 2. To improve my overall heart health. <BR> 3. To feel better. <BR> 4. To be able to do all the things I want to do. <BR> 5. To set a good example for my son. <BR> 6. To buy cute clothes. <BR> 7. To im... Mon, 2 Jun 2014 08:38:23 EST I am Me! Me. <BR> <BR> I am me. <BR> <BR> I am not always the best me I can be. <BR> <BR> I do not always love myself. <BR> <BR> I am not always kind to myself. <BR> <BR> Me. <BR> <BR> I am me. <BR> <BR> I will always the best me I can be. <BR> <BR> I will always love myself. <BR> <BR> I will always be kind to myself. <BR> <BR> Me. <BR> <BR> I am me. <BR> <BR> I am always the best me I can be. <BR> <BR> I always love myself. <BR> <BR> I am always kind to myself. <BR> <BR> Me. <BR> <BR>... Fri, 30 May 2014 09:12:46 EST Happy little Sparker this morning! I'm not completely sure why. <BR> <BR> Maybe it's because I had a great workout last night! <BR> <BR> Maybe it's because even though I worked over last night and was starving by the time we went out to supper, I ATE GREAT! <BR> <BR> Maybe it's because I slept great last night! <BR> <BR> Maybe it's because I have the best husband in the world! <BR> <BR> Maybe it's because my son's last day of kindergarten is today and he has exceeded my expectations! <BR> <BR> Maybe it's because I have t... Thu, 29 May 2014 08:41:55 EST Mostly good, with a side of bad... Yesterday. It was most certainly an improvement from Monday. Was it perfect? No, of course it wasn't. I am still trying to get into my good habits. <BR> <BR> I remember when I lost my weight....I had more perfect diet and exercise days than not and it was such a good, empowering feeling. To know that I had control over what I ate instead of the food having control over me. I want that feeling back again. I cannot impress upon you how fantastic that felt. <BR> <BR> Last night my bab... Wed, 28 May 2014 08:37:31 EST Well.............. Okay, so it isn't the end of the world, but this weekend was not my best weekend. My diet got progressively worse (I think I might have ate 4 whole meals yesterday...). And of course I didn't exercise one single lick. Ouch. It wasn't pretty on the scales this morning. I guess I'm glad I only gained 2 1/2 pounds instead of 5. I'm definitely going nowhere in a hurry at the rate I'm going. Seriously, the only exercise I got yesterday was at the lake....I swam out from the beach (private l... Tue, 27 May 2014 08:21:57 EST I have reached my cardio goal! Yes! I am so excited! My goal was to work up to 30 minutes of cardio. This past Sunday I did that. What does that mean? It means it's time for me to set a new goal. This is strictly regarding my cardio. Why do I do this? Well.....because if I don't I will, to quote Jillian Michaels "phone it in". I'll just ride my bike and be done with it. I hate to say this, but for me just riding my bike isn't good enough. My body needs to be challenged. I know it will not lose weight if I "just... Thu, 22 May 2014 08:20:41 EST Now is the time... Now is the time to prove to myself that I have what it takes to meet my goals! <BR> <BR> Now is the time for me to fight for a better life! <BR> <BR> Now is the time to stand up and shout "I ROCK"! <BR> <BR> Now is the time to be the best me that I can be! <BR> <BR> Now is the time for me to feel as beautiful on the outside as I am on the inside! <BR> <BR> Now is the time for me to recognize my strengths! <BR> <BR> Now is the time for me to give myself a pat on the back! <BR> <BR> No... Wed, 21 May 2014 08:19:02 EST Frustration and "whocaresation".... Frustrated. Yes, I am frustrated. Why? Excellent question. I am frustrated because I am not losing weight. Not even a little bit. I am most definitely exercising more and my eating habits, while not perfect are definitely an improvement. I should have lost something by now, instead I'm gaining. <BR> <BR> And NO it is not muscle so don't even think about making that excuse for me! <BR> <BR> Now this is where it is easy to get frustrated and give up. I could give up on myself. It w... Tue, 20 May 2014 08:49:27 EST head... Feels like it is going to EXPLODE! POW! Seriously. This isn't a joke people. <BR> <BR> Sorry this isn't my usual upbeat post, but I gotta tell head is feeling naaaasty. I think I might have worked outside more than I should have this weekend. Gonna have to break out the downward facing dog and see if I can get the juices (nasty, I know) flowing. <BR> <BR> On the bright side, I had a wonderful weekend. I had my nephews birthday party and my 12 year wedding anniversary to c... Mon, 19 May 2014 08:17:00 EST What brings me down... Lots of things, sometimes, if I let them. I'm a fairly bubbly person so I rarely get down for long. I don't hold grudges and I don't stay sad for long. Most of the time. <BR> <BR> Anyway, today I am focusing on my house. It brings me down sometimes. I like to have a nice clean house. I really do. We just have so much junk it seems impossible to keep it sparkly. I've never been a great housekeeper anyway. Mostly because I'm lazy. Well....I'm trying really hard to makeover my whole... Fri, 16 May 2014 08:41:49 EST Oh thank goodness! Yep. I said it. Thank you thank you thank you! I rode my bike last night and while it wasn't my best ride, it also wasn't my worst ride. Most importantly? I did it. No excuses. I cannot tell you how happy that makes me. I really am thinking that maybe the day before yesterday my body was just trying to tell me it needed a break. Well, it got can just forget about any more breaks for the time being. <em>20</em> <BR> <BR> Okay, I already know that I am freakin AWESOME so... Thu, 15 May 2014 08:54:37 EST Well Hoophananny.... Yes, I made it up. No, it is not a real word. Yes, I like it. <BR> <BR> This word is to describe how I feel about last nights lack of cardio. <BR> <BR> Hoophananny = frustration at oneself for allowing oneself to talk oneself out of doing what oneself knows to be the best course of action for oneself. <BR> <BR> That word is me in a nutshell. <BR> <BR> I'm not prone to beating myself up, but this is what I know: <BR> <BR> I know that I must must must get back to cardio every single ni... Wed, 14 May 2014 15:58:14 EST Stepped it up! My cardio that is! I'm up to 27 minutes, on my way to 45 minutes. I find this works really well for me. Every Sunday I up my cardio by 3 minutes. I barely even notice I've added it and it encourages me to keep going. I find that I think I "don't have time for exercise", but if I add it in problemo! <BR> <BR> How is your cardio going? Is it fun? Is it boring? Do you need to change it up? Is it working? Can you add to it? <BR> <BR> Don't be afraid to change! <BR> <BR> W... Tue, 13 May 2014 08:15:34 EST What happens when I want to beat myself up... I could go a couple rounds with myself today. Just step into the ring and get out all of my frustration. It makes me absolutely CRAZY when I get just plain lazy. If I consciously take a rest day, fine. That is no problem. Where I really get worked up is when I let myself ignore my workout. It's silly to ignore it because... <BR> <BR> A. I know it makes me feel better. <BR> B. I know I enjoy it. <BR> and <BR> C. I know I will regret not working out. <BR> <BR> So, this could go a fe... Mon, 12 May 2014 08:25:57 EST Today....a beautiful day, tomorrow will be even beautifuller... Yep, I know it isn't a word. Ask me if I care. Supercalifragilisticexpealidocious wasn't a word...until it was. So now....beautifuller is a word. I say that particular word because tomorrow is going to be beautiful and FULL of love. Why? Well, I don't know. Because I say so. And isn't that good enough!?! I have no particular plans. Just hangin out with my husband and kiddo and maybe my two crazy cats. <BR> <BR> I have been gone all day today and it was wonderful. Up early for m... Sat, 10 May 2014 22:35:20 EST Feeling like an ANIMAL! I'm feeling good today. Happy, social, light (but not), strong, a little emotional, and fierce! After last nights workout I feel like I've got it goin on! <BR> <BR> I am a beast! <BR> I am an animal! <BR> I am super human! <BR> <BR> Hoo Waa! <BR> <BR> Nothing's gonna stop me now! That's how I feel today! <BR> No one is going to bring me down! <BR> No one is going to rain on my parade! <BR> I will be my best friend today and always!!!!! <BR> <BR> I woke up singing to my son today so... Fri, 9 May 2014 08:49:35 EST What my life will be like at my goal weight... When I wonder about what my life would be like if I was at my goal weight I imagine a strong and courageous woman who isn't afraid to face the world. She laughs more. She smiles more. She rarely gets sick. She waves to people she doesn't know. Her state of mind is a complete 180 degrees. She is energized and she feels like she could conquer OR comfort the world. Her hair is shiny, her skin is supple. Her eyes glow with the joy of what life holds out to her. She has the power and the ... Thu, 8 May 2014 08:34:30 EST Are you a great SparkFriend? I used to be a great SparkFriend. I was on here every day and I had a routine and stuck to it like glue. My top 6 friends were visited every single day, even if I didn't comment I visited their page. My next 6 friends were dedicated to folks that I noticed needed "extra" support. I focused a lot of time on them. I tried to visit at least 3 teams a day, alternating which teams I went to. Each time I visited a team I selected at least one blog post from the feed of someone I wasn't a fri... Wed, 7 May 2014 08:16:14 EST The reasons I do love myself (most of the time)... For those of you who read my last blog, you will understand why I am writing this. For those that haven't, sit back and enjoy the ride. <em>20</em> <BR> <BR> Okay, right off the bat I'm struggling with this. Not because I can't think of anything I love about myself, but because it seems wrong to write it down. I don't like tooting my own horn. It is so much harder than I thought it would be just to get started. I honestly haven't a clue what I am going to write, but please don't j... Tue, 6 May 2014 08:35:59 EST I want to love myself... I really do. But sometimes it just isn't that easy to do. Now don't go giving me a hard time. Just because I don't always feel like I love myself, doesn't mean I hate myself. <BR> <BR> I just dont always love myself when I.... <BR> <BR> Overeat <BR> It something I know hurts my tummy <BR> Undereat <BR> Spend more money than I should <BR> Yell at my son <BR> Fight with my husband <BR> Get snippy with a coworker <BR> Get paranoid <BR> Skip my workout because I'm lazy <BR> Put something off... Mon, 5 May 2014 15:27:30 EST Mushroom and exercise! And don't forget the beauty! Man it's awesome being back in the woods. I just love it. All that walking...up hills, down hills, around hills, over water, over logs, over rocks, up more hills and down more hills. I am seriously beat! But man it was a heck of a good time. I've been out shroomin with my husband, my son, my Dad, my uncle was out there today. It is my favorite activity. I wish we had a truck so we could drive stuff back's 37 acres and the woods are all... Sat, 3 May 2014 20:52:07 EST