BLONDEDOG's SparkPeople Blog BLONDEDOG's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Big mistake.... I think I made a couple of big mistakes. One, taking this job. Two, not riding my bike 2 days in a row....ugh. <BR> <BR> One....I swear I have never met so many unhappy people in my life. I don't have a "department". I don't fit in anywhere. I'm in everyone's way in my new job and of course I don't belong with my old coworkers anymore. If I was going to change jobs I probably should have gone to a completely different company. No one seems to care for me in this role. <BR> <BR> T... Mon, 14 Apr 2014 10:41:50 EST Well crap hole... Sorry for the offensive language folks, but I'm a little frustrated. Here I was finally getting back into the groove of things. After so many starts and stops I was beginning to feel like an old broken down tractor. So the fact that I had done my cardio so many days in a row was very important to me. Unfortunately I got it into my "bright" head to go to the Doctor due to a nagging 5 year history of knee pain. You know what she said? Guess. "Maybe you need to cut back on your cardio, to... Fri, 11 Apr 2014 08:29:55 EST I NEED this so bad!!!! Man do I ever need it! I need it to be happy! I need it to feel good! I need it to feel great! <BR> <BR> and to have energy! <BR> and to not get sick as often! <BR> and to clear my sinus'! <BR> and to keep up with my son! <BR> and to be able to be more active! <BR> and to walk around Disney World for a week if I can ever afford to go! <BR> and to sleep better! <BR> and to feel better rested! <BR> and to motivate others! <BR> and to look nicer! <BR> and to build confidence! <BR> and to b... Thu, 10 Apr 2014 09:09:00 EST Proud of myself... Last night I found the couch. It felt so good. It was so comforting. I sat there and thought "I could just lay down my head and let the night slip away". And then I did something outstanding. I stood up and I got on my bike and I worked harder than I have yet, just to prove I could. I would. I will. Because I am more important than that couch. Because the lasting effects of exercise far outweigh the benefits of being cozy on the couch for an hour. I promised myself I could lay right... Wed, 9 Apr 2014 08:18:34 EST This week... is going to be great! Right? Right. I'm sure gonna give it my all. It's a daily struggle right now because my sinus' feel like they are going to explode, my knee is killing me, and I swear I can't get enough sleep. To clarify, I'm sleeping fine, I'm just not getting to bed early enough to feel well rested....of course I think the sinus problems add to that. <BR> <BR> Anyway, I'm feeling GREAT about my exercise. I'm going strong so far. I increased my time by 3 minutes again this week.... Tue, 8 Apr 2014 09:06:46 EST Tra la la la la la la Like me singing? Me either. I am tired. My head hurts. And who cares? I'm gonna exercise anyway. I'd like to take a day off, but I know better. One day off will multiply way to quickly. Instead I'm gonna take a short cat nap, with the timer set just to refresh myself....then I'm gonna get up off my bum....get some exercising done and get some chores finished up. I know I can, I know I can. <BR> <BR> As always, thanks for listening and never forget... <BR> <BR> WE ALL ROCK!!! Mon, 7 Apr 2014 18:31:53 EST What is wrong with me.... Turns out there's nothing at all wrong with me, wrong with me, wrong with me. I guess I'm just normal. Wow. Normal. It's hard to say that because I never wanted to be normal a day in my life. Maybe that's what's wrong with me....the fact that I don't want to be normal!?! No? Well, okay. Fine. Be that way. <BR> <BR> Honestly, I don't have much to say today. I don't feel terribly great. Today is better than yesterday, I'm thankful for that. I still feel weepy though. What the hec... Fri, 4 Apr 2014 08:37:39 EST Grumpy, tired, not feeling it.... This is not going to be my typical go get em sort of blog. I'm really not feeling it today. I feel sad and can't shake it off. I can't wait to get home and hug my son AND my husband. I feel like I need that more than anything today. Thu, 3 Apr 2014 12:17:43 EST I've got what it takes, you do too! Rah Rah Rah! <BR> <BR> Don't we all need a cheerleader some days? Today is that day. Yesterday I had a minor food breakdown. I tell myself it's okay because right now I'm focusing on exercise. I can't handle to many changes at once. I'll overwhelm myself and I won't stick to any of it. But it still ticks me off. It makes me disappointed in myself. Now don't shake your heads at me. I know it's okay, and I can't give up and all that bologna, but sometimes I just want to scream. I m... Wed, 2 Apr 2014 08:49:58 EST ATTACK OF PERBOLE THE CRAVING MONSTER!!! That big hairy beast. He loves to visit me. It's terrible when he does. I run and hide, but he always tracks me down. It's like he can smell me. <BR> <BR> First, a thought....just a little tiny thought. That's all it takes for him to rear his ugly head. I refer to him as Perbole. The conversation between us usually goes something like this: <BR> <BR> Perbole: You need to eat something salty, immediately or you will die slowly and painfully! <BR> Me: Hi Perbole. I think you exagge... Tue, 1 Apr 2014 08:42:07 EST If you slimmed down... would you lose an excuse for being unhappy? <BR> <BR> I read this somewhere today. This is so true for me. It's kind of scary how on point this is. I don't want it to be true, but it is. <BR> <BR> I am going to give this more thought. <BR> <BR> Why would someone want to be unhappy? I don't think I WANT to be unhappy, and I'm not all the time. I think it's more of a "it's what I'm used to" sort of thing. Change is scary. It can also be fun. <BR> <BR> Anyway, that just struck me and ... Mon, 31 Mar 2014 12:09:44 EST One whole week... Yes! I am so happy. This is so much further than I have gotten in 2 years. I seriously can't remember the last time I did 7 days of exercise in a row. I love it. I upped my time last night. I'm up to 21 minutes, which doesn't seem like much, but it's better than nothing. My goal is to work up to 45 minutes of cardio a day. People keep telling me I should take a rest day. One thing I 've learned about myself....I can't. Not until I am truly well into exercising. If I do right now, 1... Mon, 31 Mar 2014 08:21:14 EST I made it! Okay, it sounds so lame to type this, but it means so much to me. I did cardio 4 days in a row. Let me tell you exactly why this is so exciting to me. I previously lost 65 pounds. It took about a year and then I kept it off for about a year. Since then it's been piling back on. I have tried what feels like 30 times to get back into my healthy habits, starting with cardio. Week after week I've gotten all excited and started riding my back again. I'd get to day 3, everything would be gr... Fri, 28 Mar 2014 08:39:41 EST This is where I..... Struggle. Badly. It sounds completely lame but this is how it has gone the past several times I have tried to get back into exercising. 3 days. That's all I've been managing. The first day I'm fine. No adverse affects. I don't feel any worse than I did the day before. Day 2, real changes. Maybe I'm a little sleepy the next morning. Then comes day 3. I'm so proud of myself because I made myself do it. But this time my butt hurts and feels like it's going to cramp and fall r... Thu, 27 Mar 2014 08:17:56 EST Every Me... There's the me that wants to be healthy so bad she wants to scream it to the world. This me knows what it feels like to be at a healthy weight. This me knows her knee doesn't hurt every day. This me knows the feeling of waking up in the morning feeling ready to go. This me knows that she can keep up with her son. This me knows what it is like to make it through an entire winter without getting sick. She loves to sweat! This version of me knows how happy she can be. She is tough, she is... Wed, 26 Mar 2014 08:22:57 EST Brutally honest... You know the type. They love to tell you things about yourself that you don't want to hear. Who they are in your life can change. It might be a check out clerk that you don't know. More often than not it's going to be someone you know and love. Although sometimes you may question the love part when their mouth gets going. I'm going to take stab in the dark for most of us and guess that person is our Mom. Or at least someone who thinks they are our Mom. Why do I guess that? Well, beca... Tue, 25 Mar 2014 08:35:53 EST Why I love to eat... It feels right. It feels good. It makes me happy. It chases away the sadness. It calms the fears. It relieves the loneliness. <BR> <BR> It relieves the loneliness. As I was writing those reasons down this one rang the most true. I'm married and I have a wonderful husband and son. Why do I feel so lonely? This question needs answered. I need to be honest with myself. My husband is always there for me. So why do I feel lonely, even when he's in the room? <BR> <BR> The honest answe... Mon, 24 Mar 2014 08:54:22 EST Ugh..... Not my usual peppy title, but the truth is....I feel terrible this morning. I've had a toothache all weekend and my stomach feels like a black void that will never have enough food in it. I feel hot, shaky, and sick to my stomach. Have a great Monday. I certainly hope yours is starting out better than mine. Mon, 13 Jan 2014 06:52:26 EST Just not enough. Time. Really. I'm leaving way early for work these days due to snow, so my morning sparking has been interrupted. Hopefully this will improve soon. Hold tight ya'll! Summer will be here before we know it! <BR> <BR> Make it great!!! Fri, 10 Jan 2014 06:48:32 EST None. I refuse to make a New Years resolution this almost never works out. I'm just going to be the best me I can be and leave it at that. <BR> <BR> Hope your day is merry and bright! Thu, 2 Jan 2014 06:44:53 EST Happy..... Don't get caught picking your nose day! :) Bet you thought I was going to say "Happy Friday". Hope I made you smile. In case you were wondering, I made that up. Ha! Seriously though....have a wonderful day! <BR> <BR> Make it great! Fri, 13 Dec 2013 07:01:26 EST I am feeling... Happy, Healthy, and Beautiful today! Thank you for being a part of it! Make today better than yesterday!!! Thu, 12 Dec 2013 06:59:31 EST It's dark outside.... and I have a hard time getting motivated when the sun isn't even up. I just want to crawl back into bed. If only I could. Instead, I'm going to put my big girl panties on and get up and get going. I hope you have the most wonderful day possible, better than yesterday!!! I plan on it! <BR> <BR> Make it great! Thu, 5 Dec 2013 06:59:36 EST Good morning lovelies! I just wanted you to know that I think you are all beautiful! Pat yourself on the back today and next time you look in a mirror pay yourself a compliment, you deserve it! <BR> <BR> Make today the best one yet! Wed, 4 Dec 2013 07:01:06 EST I survived! Yes I did! I'm ready for another great day! I hope you have a great day as well. I guess it's really foggy out there this morning so I'm gonna make this very short so I can head out. <BR> <BR> Make today the best day of the week! Tue, 3 Dec 2013 06:53:41 EST Happy Monday!!! Today is a big day for me! I start my new job as "Lifestyle Intervention Counselor" at work today. I'm excited about this new opportunity and SO freakin nervous. I've never done anything like it AND the job is brand new so no one really knows what I should expect. I'm disappointed in myself because I was so nervous I didn't have it in me to make a nice healthy lunch for this week. I'm having crappy lunch meat sandwiches. Oh well, I'll make due. Hopefully I'll be a little more "ready" n... Mon, 2 Dec 2013 07:01:32 EST Slippery slope And I'm skiing down it at a break neck speed! My knees have been hurting so I haven't been comfortable riding my back for a few days. I just know if I can get them feeling better exercise will be no problem. Ugh.....Tonight I'm going to have to force the issue and ride no matter what. I think it is clear that I need a new pair of tennis shoes....typically when my knees start hurting getting new shoes will get them straightened right out. It's gonna have to wait until after Christmas thou... Tue, 26 Nov 2013 07:07:44 EST So, I see what happens..... when I don't blog. I pay for it. By skipping 2 days of exercise. It is clear the weekend is going to be my issue. I am going to have to develop strategies for those days when I have no clear schedule. <BR> <BR> Anyway, I can't believe it is Thanksgiving week already! This seems so unreal to me. It's moving along so quickly. <BR> <BR> Have a great day! You deserve it!!! Mon, 25 Nov 2013 07:03:49 EST Hope... I have it. I'm full of it. I can't get enough of it. Things are crazy right now. I'm fairly sure I have some people I really care about pretty mad at me. There's not much I can do about it. What's being done to them isn't fair, that's not my choice. I can't stop it from weighing heavily on me. What should I have done though? I can't have done it differently. You always know people can be mean, but you go along thinking it's okay if they're mean because it isn't directed at you. The... Fri, 22 Nov 2013 07:08:45 EST Short blog.... Seriously, tummy hurts. Gotta go. I'm planning on having a great day anyway! I hope you are as well! <BR> <BR> Make it great!!! Thu, 21 Nov 2013 07:05:55 EST Never even noticed it was helping me twice... Blogging. It helps me twice. I didn't notice it until last night. I have gotten in the habit of writing my blog in the mornings and checking my comments in the evenings. I noticed that last night, when checking my comments, I also reread my blog. Twice. It made me feel good. Along with my blog and your comments I felt so empowered last night. That's something that's been missing from my life lately and I am thrilled to be slowly getting it back. I love writing and I had forgotten how... Wed, 20 Nov 2013 07:09:57 EST Game changer... Last night was a great night! My workout felt amazing! I was right by the way. Blogging makes all the difference in the world. It is my game changer. Staying up with blogging every day will make this possible. It helps me all during the day by keeping me positive. Keeping me thinking about what I need to do. It's much easier to pass on having a bad day when I know I'm gonna turn around and post it on here. I want to set a good example. Hard work can pay off and I know it. I've been... Tue, 19 Nov 2013 07:06:47 EST Hi Ya'll! Well, it's Monday! Yay Monday! Right? Okay, maybe not. I'm excited anyway. Why? Because it's weigh in day at work and I'm hoping to see a loss on the scales. I feel so good about what I'm doing. I really do. It's amazing the difference a week can make. Every Sunday I up my cardio by 3 minutes. I'm happy to report that I had a great work out last night. It really felt good. And I've gotten back into how I used to ride my bike.....2 minutes at my normal, make ya sweat speed....then... Mon, 18 Nov 2013 07:05:46 EST Ready for a great week! I'm cooking my lunch for the week, which I haven't been doing lately. It feels great to be proactive. I'm feeling positive and happy. I'm ready to have the best week I've had in a very long time! I can do this! Sun, 17 Nov 2013 18:44:06 EST So happy... To be back! <BR> To have exercised every day for 5 days! <BR> To remember how much I love myself! <BR> To feel ready to beat this day at its own game! <BR> To be excited again! Sat, 16 Nov 2013 08:12:12 EST Today is my day! Every day that I exercise I get closer and closer to it becoming a habit! I can't wait! I know it isn't much, but I also know that getting into the habit of doing it every single night is the most important thing to me. Once I get that down I can start adding to it. If I try to do to much, I'll give up. I don't want that to happen. Slow and steady wins the race! <BR> <BR> Go Spark! Fri, 15 Nov 2013 07:09:35 EST Mojo! It's amazing the difference 3 great days can make! Taking it one day at a time is definitely helping. I feel good about what I'm doing and I'm looking forward to working out tonight. It feels so good to be back at it. <BR> <BR> Have a great day! Thu, 14 Nov 2013 07:03:02 EST Day 3 of my new lifestyle It's only day 3. Doesn't seem like a big me it the past nearly 2 years I haven't even had a day 2 so today is a big day to me. I am determined to persevere. So far so good with my goal of exercising and blogging every day. The exercise isn't much. 15 minutes. I picked that because it's doable....hard to excuse away 15 minutes. I'm ready!!!! Wed, 13 Nov 2013 07:04:36 EST F.A.T. I am striving to bring back my old motto. Fit and Active Today! I know I've been absent around here for a long time. I believe that is in direct correlation with my weight gain. My goals are simple for this week.....1. Exercise every day and 2. Blog every day. I'm not concerned about my eating habits at the moment. They aren't great but honestly they are the least of my concern at the moment. Getting into a routine again is more important to me right now. <BR> <BR> Thanks for listening... Tue, 12 Nov 2013 07:05:47 EST Well..... I won't say I'm back. But I need this. Right now I'll be blogging only. I kinda quit coming here because I just didn't have time. It is clear that I need to make time. If it works out I will do my best to come around and visit ya'll. <BR> <BR> -Blondedog Mon, 11 Nov 2013 08:45:34 EST 198.2 Yep, my weight this morning. Just a couple of short years ago I was at my goal....139....I had lost 65 pounds. I'm ashamed and embarrassed, but avoiding facing the truth, avoiding Spark isn't helping. It's making it worse. I can't face the entire amount right this second....I really can't. It's overwhelming. At this point I just want to be under 195, I'll work from there. One minute, one day, one hour at a time. Thanks for listening. Mon, 20 May 2013 06:58:14 EST No time! I swear I can't make myself get up the 10 minutes early that I want so that I can pop on tired. My Doc says my medicine will do that to me. I think that combined with my unhealthy diet and lack of regular exercise is just making it worse. Such a vicious cycle! I'm going to break it. I have a referral to an ENT so maybe I can get my head straightened out, hopefully that will help. I'm still here. Not doing well, but I'm here. <BR> <BR> I have not been trying my best. I KNOW... Wed, 24 Apr 2013 18:58:19 EST need to find a way to beat the lazy out. I can't believe how lazy I feel. I want to sleep all the time. I don't want to exercise. I don't want to think about eating healthy. I'm really going to have to try very very hard to make it through the upcoming weekend without blowing it. I just can't pinpoint the problem. I thought I was feeling better since starting on the antibiotic but seem to be have a down swing at the moment. <BR> <BR> I will do my best. <BR> <BR> Have a great Friday! Fri, 12 Apr 2013 07:02:39 EST Oh my! new bike is kicking my butt and I LOVE it!!! <BR> <BR> I am having a terrible time with my diet the past week or so. Today I'm gonna step it up and focus on that....all the exercise in the world won't do me a bit of good if I keep shoving so much junky food in my face. <BR> <BR> Have a wonderful day!!! <BR> <BR> Spark On!!! Wed, 10 Apr 2013 07:03:33 EST Happy Tuesday!!! Hello fellow Sparkers! I have such a bright outlook for today! I'm ready to get started on it! The Doc has me on an antibiotic for my sinus' and I swear everyday my energy level gets better! YAY! On the crummy news I have a spider bite on my arm....I got it in the garden, but that hasn't stopped my husband and I from being jumpy when we go to bed. We jumped out of bed and turned the light on to search the bed TWICE last night. I had to break down and put on socks I was so freaked out. ... Tue, 9 Apr 2013 07:04:33 EST hello lovelies... I am ready to make this week even better than last week! My weight has gone up a bit this week. Very disappointing, but I know that I can and will fight back. I know enough to know that I can't give up just cause of one bad week. It sets me back with fitting in to my dress, but I'll keep working at it! Have a wonderful day today!!! <BR> <BR> Spark On!!! Mon, 8 Apr 2013 06:51:21 EST So sleepy this morning... I did not sleep well and it shows. I really wish I could go back to bed. I just don't have the energy for a power blog so this is what you get. :) I believe it's gonna be a low energy sort of day. <BR> <BR> Make today a great one!!!! Even if you can't keep your eyeballs open. <BR> <BR> Spark On!!! Thu, 4 Apr 2013 07:00:54 EST Not much time this morning... but I don't need it. All I need to know is that today is going to be FANTASTIC!!! Having dinner with the fam tonight so I need to be prepared for that, there is NOTHING healthy at the restaurant we're going to so I'll have to think on the fly....I know I can be creative! <BR> <BR> Have a wonderful Wednesday!!! <BR> <BR> Spark On!!! Wed, 3 Apr 2013 07:06:16 EST Every day is better... than the last! <BR> <BR> I have a bag of deep fried unhealthiness sitting in front of me that my Dad brought with him this morning. I'm working on one small bite being enough to satisfy me. It was 3 bites this morning, I can't tell you how much better that is than my norm. <BR> <BR> Today is going to be a great day! I feel great! I feel ready to face the challenge of my diet head on! <BR> <BR> Spark On!!! Tue, 2 Apr 2013 07:02:12 EST Amazing Monday! I will have an amazing Monday! <BR> I will tell myself I'm worth it everytime I look in the mirriro! <BR> I will stay strong! <BR> I will persevere! <BR> I will be the best me I can possibly be! <BR> Today is Monday, today is now, today is the moment I live for!!! <BR> <BR> <BR> Be your best self today!!! <BR> <BR> Spark On!!! Mon, 1 Apr 2013 06:56:03 EST