BLONDEDOG's SparkPeople Blog BLONDEDOG's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Absolutely disgusted... ...with myself. Truly. I made cookies for a pitch in today and frosted grapes. I had a cookie before bed last night, you know "to make sure they tasted good". Sigh. I brought my own healthy lunch with an ice pack in it so I wouldn't have to find a fridge at the meeting place. When I got to work I left it in my car knowing it was plenty cold enough. Then I decided to hitch a ride with a coworker to the meeting. The lunch still in my car, nice. Oh, and I nearly forgot to mention that I... Wed, 17 Dec 2014 14:39:34 EST But I don't want to...(and you can't make me) That can sometimes be my constant refrain. Last night I got into my workout clothes, but I am dying to work on the blanket I'm making (I have no idea why, I started it 12 years ago and plan on never being done with it, but once I get it out to work on for the winter I have a hard time putting it down). "I'll just do one row". Next thing you know I'm telling my husband that "I think tonight will be my one night off". I probably don't have to tell you that this is a darn slippery slope... <... Tue, 16 Dec 2014 08:57:25 EST There is a reason my tickers a turtle... Because my goodness am I SLOW. It's okay to be slow, I'm just sayin. Slow. I am down not quite a whole pound from last week. I am just so glad it's down. It could have been better, but I'm not terribly concerned. I am looking forward to getting down to 189, as when that happens I am going allow myself to schedule my haircut....and man oh man do I need a haircut! Probably what I should do is make a rule saying I can't wear my new boots until I get to 189. I bet I lose 4 pounds in a hur... Mon, 15 Dec 2014 09:17:18 EST When I put on lipstick... ...the world is in trouble. It's nearly equivalent to a woman taking off her earrings before a fight. Nearly. But not quite. I feel in a mood today. A low tolerance sort of mood. <BR> <BR> I started to write about who, what, when, why, where; then I realized none of that matters. It really truly doesn't. Yes, I feel a little cranky and one more complaint may just make me snap, however, in the long run this/she doesn't matter. It only matters how I conduct myself. I am very non con... Fri, 12 Dec 2014 08:49:36 EST Unknown... What to write about today is completely unknown. I feel like yesterday my brain was over flowing and today, nada. There's nothing in there but a tumble weed blowing from one side to the other. <BR> <BR> Well....I had a great workout last night. I did 20 minutes of cardio followed up by a "12 days of Christmas" workout that's mostly body weight and/or toning exercises. The first time I did it I got all the way up to the 8th day before I remembered that every time I moved up a day I was su... Thu, 11 Dec 2014 08:27:18 EST Thoughts and hunger... I have so many things whirling around in my head right now. I want to write this really great, funny blog. I just can't seem to make my brain stick to one subject. I have a pretty good idea of why. Because I'm hungry and that's all I can think about. In light of that this blog will be brief (very brief, not no one and not nothing stands between me and my food). So, happy thoughts and hopefully I'll blog better tomorrow. <BR> <BR> Hugs to all who need them, a good shove in the right dire... Wed, 10 Dec 2014 11:03:19 EST Oh.... The emotions..... <BR> <BR> I just have no words. <BR> <BR> No, I do. I just watched a video of a marriage proposal and it reminded me so much of my husband's proposal to me. My eyes started leaking a little (or a lot). The two proposals were nothing alike. My husband was so excited about having the ring that he couldn't make himself wait. He got down on one knee in the bedroom, in front of the open closet (where the ring was hidden for all of 5 minutes) and asked me right then and the... Tue, 9 Dec 2014 12:28:44 EST Giving up... is no longer in my vocabulary. I know that now. After skipping 3 days of exercise, which has the potential to spell disaster for me, I was scared out of my mind that I would give in, give up. But you know what? I came right back here, I was honest, AND I got right back on my bike and went for it. I've learned that it doesn't matter how many days I let myself "forget", I can and must pick up right where I left off. I am so happy to say that I am stronger than I thought I was. <BR> <BR... Tue, 9 Dec 2014 08:25:55 EST Clearing away the cobwebs... The Sun'll come out tomorrow. It will. <BR> <BR> I was not a good girl for the past week or so. I didn't exercise daily, I didn't watch my diet, I ignored it all. For multiple days in a row. This is exactly what spelled disaster for me the last time. <BR> <BR> But tomorrow (today) is a different day/hour. I did exercise last night. I refuse to let this trip me up. I did manage to make up for my Thanksgiving gain just a little bit (although I still have about a half a pound to go)... Mon, 8 Dec 2014 09:25:05 EST Bad attitude... Alright. I'll admit it. I have a bad attitude (at least this week). Can I help it if people are jerks? Nope. I sure can't. Let's just say my temper is bubbling at the surface this week. <BR> <BR> And let me tell you isn't them, they've always been just as rude, lazy, and inconsiderate. It's all me. This week I am weak. I'm not currently myself. I'm easy to anger, frustrate, sadden, cry, overeat, and laugh, and sing, and be silly. I'm up, I'm down. My Mom told me l... Thu, 4 Dec 2014 08:33:57 EST Excuse... So....some time ago I posted a blog, I don't remember for sure what it was about. I do know that I said something in that blog to the tune of "I don't log my weight when it goes up because I don't like my feed showing that I lost 2 pounds when it was really the 2 pounds I gained". I knew it was an excuse when I typed it. Really I did. Truthfully if there's something on my feed that I don't want there I know how to delete it. On Monday, when I gained a couple of pounds I knew what I had t... Wed, 3 Dec 2014 08:26:12 EST Gettin ready! For my sons 7th birthday party! His birthday is Thursday, his party is Saturday. I swear it is consuming my every waking thought. Between making decorations and cleaning my house it's all I have going on. I even let myself skip my cardio yesterday because I spent so much darn time cleaning I couldn't lift a finger, although my husband has been instructed to not allow me to skip my workout matter what. The theme of this years party is "paper airplanes". Truthfully I don't u... Tue, 2 Dec 2014 08:38:27 EST November....oh November Really a pretty darn good month overall. I did nearly 56 more miles than I did in October, I lost weight and inches, I exercised all but 3 days, but most importantly my confidence soared. <BR> <BR> Did I have some fall backs? big on in particular, but I have to tell you....overall I am so proud of myself. <BR> <BR> Let me tell you about Thanksgiving last year. <BR> <BR> Last year I wasn't blogging regularly. I wasn't weighing regularly. I wasn't caring about my we... Mon, 1 Dec 2014 08:23:17 EST Tighten up...please take a guess I could go a few different ways with this blog title. <BR> <BR> I wonder if I should just let you guess what I tightened up. That kind of sounds fun. Any guesses? <BR> <BR> I'm feeling good today and ready for my "holiday" to officially start! <BR> <BR> But I seriously think I'm gonna make you work for this blog so please leave me a guess as to what you think I tightened up. <BR> <BR> Have a wonderful day friends and I'll post a new blog tomorrow to complete this one! <BR> <BR> Wed, 26 Nov 2014 08:59:44 EST I'd like to introduce you to... the little things. <BR> <BR> They sneak up on you when you're least expecting them. <BR> <BR> They're funny little things. One day you can't see them, the next you can't avoid them. <BR> <BR> Today's little thing award goes to my hands. I looked down and BAM! I noticed that they don't look like sausages today. I swear they did yesterday. They almost look lady like again. What!?! And you know what's more? They don't look old either! They look like normal 37 year old girlie hands. ... Tue, 25 Nov 2014 08:18:41 EST Staying upbeat... I mostly have that under control these days, but I'm not gonna lie...I had a bit of a set back this weekend. I just got to feeling a little down about my weight. Frustrated with myself. Just for putting it back on in the first place. Dang it. I worked so hard to lose it the first time. Anyway, I had been doing so well and really felt like I should have lost 2 pounds this past week, but I just couldn't get under that 193 (it was 192.8 this by the way). I was getting down and frustrated ... Mon, 24 Nov 2014 08:57:52 EST Frustration... When you don't lose weight as quickly as you would like or were losing it is so frustrating. I'm currently on a mini plateau and it seems like no matter what I do my weight doesn't change. I found myself really getting worked up about it. I took a deep breath and reminded myself of all my non scale victories. I'm due to measure this coming week and I am hopeful I will see a change there. Also, I'll think about jogging today to see if it jump starts me. Have a great Sunday sparkles! Sun, 23 Nov 2014 09:11:22 EST Embarrassed.... About my picture I posted. Seriously. I can't believe I posted it, but I did and I could cry just looking at it. I know from experience that that tummy isn't going will get smaller, but it will always look like that. <BR> <BR> I have decided that you should see the whole me and I am not going to be embarrassed about it any longer. It is what it is and all I can do is continue to take care of myself. <BR> <BR> It was hard to post that, but not as hard as it is to not b... Sat, 22 Nov 2014 11:05:04 EST Gobble gobble gobble... Fat turkey fat hen <BR> We're not here for living <BR> We're here for thanksgiving <BR> Gobble gobble gobble <BR> Fat turkey fat hen <BR> <BR> To the tune of "The more we get together" <BR> <BR> There are about a billion Christmas songs. I thought you'd like to have this little thanksgiving ditty in your head. haha. <BR> <BR> Any who....something has been on my mind lately and it is quite off subject.... <BR> <BR> I was looking through some of my pictures from my healthy days. I had wor... Fri, 21 Nov 2014 08:44:11 EST Why so serious? Why indeed? <BR> <BR> Reading some old blogs I found a lot of funny stuff. I told on myself....a lot. Hilarious stuff right there... <BR> <BR> I feel as though I need to find my funny bone again. Here's the's so different this time. The first time around I had a lot to learn about myself. Not just in how to eat healthy and exercise, but about a lot of bad habits I had built. <BR> <BR> Finding my funny bone won't be easy, but I do think it will be rewarding. I can still b... Thu, 20 Nov 2014 15:04:09 EST My plan for surviving turkey day.... Let's be honest. For many of us that's what Thanksgiving is. Turkey day. I've heard people call it that for year now. Here is my plan for surviving the food temptations. <BR> <BR> 1. I will eat my normal, healthy breakfast. <BR> <BR> 2. I will take my water bottle with me AND I will drink the water in it. <BR> <BR> 3. I will make it about family and the food will be secondary. <BR> <BR> and most importantly (I used this technique back in the day when I lost my weight and it worked ... Thu, 20 Nov 2014 08:28:21 EST 3 minute update... Good morning! <BR> <BR> It feels great to have a little pep in my step in the mornings. If you remember, it wasn't all that long ago when I didn't have any pep in my step at all....all day long. <BR> <BR> I felt so happy this morning coming in to work. Nothing but positive energy rolling off my back. I attribute this to eating healthy, exercise, and finding my confidence again. <BR> <BR> Well, I'm down to one minute left because I'm in such a rush, but I will leave you with these word... Wed, 19 Nov 2014 08:30:35 EST Found a blog you should see... I absolutely Love this blog! Please stop by and like it if you get a chance. She has a wonderful idea on the what her new Sparkpeople "normal" is. <BR> <BR> <link><BR>urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=5818888 </link> Tue, 18 Nov 2014 12:26:04 EST Bringing tears to my eyes... Knowing that you are there rooting me on every step of the way. <BR> <BR> Knowing that I am finally on the right path. <BR> <BR> Looking in the mirror and seeing my progress instead of fat rolls. <BR> <BR> Feeling like a person in the morning instead of like a slug. <BR> <BR> Reading such positive comments from each and every one of you. <BR> <BR> There are so many things that bring tears to my eyes. But you should know that I had very nearly given up on myself when I finally found my w... Tue, 18 Nov 2014 08:09:13 EST Something to smile about... Weigh in was today. I am so happy to be back on brings tears to my eyes. <BR> <BR> 2009 when I started my first ever weight loss attempt I weighed in at 194 pounds. I went on to lose 65 pounds. Then I went on to gain it all back, plus some. <BR> <BR> Today I am so pleased to report that I weighed in at 193.8. It is a small victory, but a victory none the less. I cannot even remotely begin to explain how or why this means so much to me. <BR> <BR> I have had two rel... Mon, 17 Nov 2014 08:38:15 EST Shoutout to HOPEFULHIPPO As I sit here sipping my spicy ginger tea I can't help but think about her. She kindly and helpfully recommended it to me. I must say it is quite different, but yummy, and it has gotten things....shall we say...moving. How wonderful. The congestion is awful....but it's 10 times worse when it won't get out. Thank you thank you thank you. <BR> <BR> On a side note we went to see a Roller Derby bout for the first time last night. What fun! I wish I could skate (and not be so old). We wer... Sun, 16 Nov 2014 10:11:52 EST Oh Saturday... Sleeping in, bubble baths, snuggling with my kiddo....all make for a lazy Saturday morning. I caught myself snacking a bit so I'm busy shaking it off for the rest of the day. <BR> <BR> I can do this, I know I can. I just have to be present every minute of the day. <BR> <BR> I know I can I know I can I know I can... Sat, 15 Nov 2014 12:21:26 EST I DO NOT feel beautiful today... Oh my. I slept somewhere around 8 hoursish yesterday, then slept through the night with only occasional tossing and turning. This sinus garbage has got to go. It literally makes me feel like trash. I am very sure many of you know this feeling. I happens this time of year every year. <BR> <BR> I'm sad to say that yesterday I let it get me down. I stayed home from work (always a big mistake), at pretty much everything in the house, and if that's not bad enough....I failed to workout. I ... Fri, 14 Nov 2014 08:26:55 EST Be Beautiful Today Good morning Spark world! <BR> <BR> It is brrrr.....COLD outside today! <BR> <BR> Today my sinuses are in high gear once again. My face feels a bit bloated because of it. My eyes are burning and red. The congestion makes me feel like my eyes are gonna pop right out of my head. When they feel like that it becomes and automatic feeling of being tired, no matter how well rested I am. I can feel the junk sloshing around in there. Further more Aunt Flo is currently here for a visit so I'm n... Wed, 12 Nov 2014 09:15:56 EST If my feelings were my waist size... I would be full and bloated. I have so many "feels" right now. I'm not a hundred percent sure right now....shoot...I'm not even completely sure I could tell you what they are. I feel a little bit of a lotta bit. <BR> <BR> I wouldn't say it's good, I wouldn't say itss bad. It really just is. <BR> <BR> Today is a day I feel like getting under my heated blanket and hibernating until winter is over. Or getting in the bathtub and soaking so long my skin gets pruny and I start overheating. ... Tue, 11 Nov 2014 13:31:39 EST How I'm feeling... I'm feeling pretty tickled to be honest with you. I decided yesterday would be my rest day this week, for no other reason than I wanted a break. So I did 10 minutes of cardio and some planks. I love that that is what I consider a "rest" day. <BR> <BR> I really don't have a whole lot to say, other than....I feel good. I feel evened out. I had a brief craving yesterday on the way home from work, so I made sure to stay on the phone with hubby until I passed the the time I got... Tue, 11 Nov 2014 08:48:30 EST Coincidence? So, I lost 2.5 pounds this week. Up to this point I haven't managed to lose more than half a pound any one week. What was different this week? Well, my friend Radooga suggested that perhaps I should make some time during the weekend for Spark People. I followed through on that suggestion and I believe this is the direct result. <BR> <BR> Sparkpeople helps keep me accountable, it keeps me thinking about my wellness instead of casually and conveniently "forgetting" it. Incidentally my o... Mon, 10 Nov 2014 08:56:50 EST So far so good.... Still doing well for my weekend. Far superior than any weekend I've had....probably in a couple of years to be honest. And yes Radooga I do think the blogging helps me stay accountable with the food. It helps to know I'm going to tell on myself. That being said I have had some Halloween candy, BUT I have not had one alcoholic beverage AND I have ate with in calorie range so far today even with the candy. I am getting ready to prepare my healthy lunch for the week....this week it is going... Sun, 9 Nov 2014 15:51:28 EST Ack! And my great weekend! I completely forgot that I'm supposed to blog today. I promised Radooga and I'm keeping that promise. lol. <BR> <BR> So far so good for the weekend. Went to the movies last night and managed to eat only a handful of popcorn instead of a bucket (my Dad bought the stupid thing or I wouldn't have had any). I did have a slight amount of candy, but nothing like I would have normally had. <BR> <BR> Today...also pretty good. We had to eat out twice. I easily stayed in my calorie range for lun... Sat, 8 Nov 2014 21:41:37 EST Ah....the effects of a rotten diet... Low energy levels. <BR> <BR> Low energy levels. <BR> <BR> And did I mention low energy levels? <BR> <BR> So today I am aiming for perfection....well almost. <BR> <BR> Why almost? <BR> <BR> Well possibly because it's only 8:33 in the morning and I ate my normal breakfast this morning, plus two bites of the most wonderful (and very high calorie) chicken salad in the world AND stopped and got an iced coffee this morning (which I never do). <BR> <BR> That is why almost. I didn't make that... Fri, 7 Nov 2014 08:39:09 EST Just to be clear... Even though my past few blogs haven't been very cheery I am still here working hard. I knew this would be a difficult week and so far I am really doing okay. Yes, my diet is lacking, BUT man I'm talking about it every chance I get. I'm owning up to my mistakes. I'm talking to you guys, I'm talking to coworkers, I'm talking to my husband, my family....whoever will listen. It's so much different this month than last month because this month....I am aware. Last month I went into a state of... Thu, 6 Nov 2014 13:48:23 EST To be honest with you... This week cannot get over fast enough. <BR> <BR> I cannot start my cycle soon enough. <BR> <BR> Perhaps that is more information than you would like, but lordy be I'm just ready to get it the heck over with. <BR> <BR> I'm tired, I'm moody, I'm chirpy, I'm grumpy, I'm weepy, I'm "hungry", I feel empty, I feel full, I feel overwhelmed, I feel lazy, I feel like exercise is the worst possible form of torture on the plant. I feel like I want to hide under a blanket all day. And all that's jus... Thu, 6 Nov 2014 08:34:41 EST The best laid plans... Still sometimes fail. <BR> <BR> Woops. <BR> <BR> Let's talk a little bit about last night. Full disclosure folks, sorry if I make anyone sick. <BR> <BR> The drive home....100 calorie pack of beef jerky, half a bottle of diet mountain dew, a 180 calorie candy bar. <BR> <BR> The arrival home...2 cookies and 3 spoonfuls of icing before I managed to stop myself. <BR> <BR> The supper....not bad. KFC 1 piece breast meal, skin removed, individual side of mashed potatoes no gravy, individual s... Wed, 5 Nov 2014 09:22:36 EST On My Way I have stumbled and fallen <BR> Upon I know not what <BR> It is gritty and grimy <BR> And sticks to itself <BR> It falls through my hands <BR> Slowly and deliberately <BR> Clinging as tightly as it can <BR> It doesn't want to let go <BR> Doesn't want to release <BR> It feels at home near my skin <BR> Warm and comfortable <BR> Like it is meant to be <BR> It is white <BR> And flaked with black <BR> Upon closer inspection <BR> It is a myriad of colors <BR> Some so similar <BR> They cannot be di... Tue, 4 Nov 2014 08:41:25 EST October 2014 stats I rode my bike 142.9 miles in the month of October. <BR> <BR> That is 86.77 more miles than I did in September!!! <BR> <BR> I had no exercise for 4 days in the mont of October. <BR> <BR> That is 11 LESS days than September!!! <BR> <BR> Truthfully, I haven't lost much weight. A couple of pounds at the most. But man do I feel amazing! <BR> <BR> I am so pleased with my numbers and my results. <BR> <BR> Something that doesn't show in the numbers is that I made a healthy lunch for every ... Mon, 3 Nov 2014 08:38:20 EST What to do when you screw up royally... Pout about it. Throw a fit. Have a temper tantrum. <BR> <BR> For five minutes. <BR> <BR> That's it. <BR> <BR> Now, move on AND make a plan! <BR> <BR> So, I screwed up. I ate the biggest sugar cookie on the face of the planet. Seriously, it's true. What bummed me the most is that I didn't even think about it. A coworker tried to head me off and what did I do? I bit her head not come between me and my sugar!!! <BR> <BR> Dang it. I want to be perfect. I want to show a... Fri, 31 Oct 2014 14:46:28 EST A recent comment... How can you be so positive when you haven't lost much weight? <BR> <BR> This sounds a whole lot like a backhanded compliment to me. <BR> <BR> I could choose to be offended. I could. But here's the thing, it's true. How can I be? <BR> <BR> I'll tell you how. I'll tell you why. <BR> <BR> Because. Because I am worth so much more than a number. <BR> <BR> Because I forced myself to go there. It didn't come natural, it didn't come easy. <BR> <BR> Because I had to. The constant negat... Fri, 31 Oct 2014 08:55:01 EST My mojo brings all the good vibes to the yard... I wasn't sure what to write about today. <BR> <BR> How about the fact that I really do feel like I have my mojo back? <BR> <BR> It's been away "visiting relatives" for years. <BR> <BR> I'm glad it's back. I honestly missed it very much. <BR> <BR> Here's what I notice: <BR> <BR> 1. Exercise is now getting to the point where it's mostly old hat. I don't have to remind myself to do it for the most part and that is fantastic. I just do it. It's built right into my day and it really isn'... Thu, 30 Oct 2014 08:52:06 EST Well well well.... What a lovely surprise to wake up to this morning. A lot of comments from a lot of kind hearted people. It's been a long time since I've had a popular blog post. You just never know what people are going to respond to. <BR> <BR> So, you will be glad to know that I did my cardio last night. Honestly I just didn't feel like getting on my bike so I did a workout video instead. It was great fun and a wonderful test of my athleticism (yes, I consider myself and athlete). I was scared I wou... Wed, 29 Oct 2014 09:24:35 EST I am addicted to... and my lunch for the week. Green peppers. <BR> <BR> And onions. <BR> <BR> I'm addicted to them both right now. <BR> <BR> Look. I have a husband that doesn't eat veggies. Period. If he does I have to refrain from falling out of my chair. No, I cannot hide it in his food....I assure you, he will taste it. No matter what. <BR> <BR> This left me with not getting a lot of the food that I love. Side items were never a problem because he simply wouldn't eat them. But say something like a casserole....forget about... Tue, 28 Oct 2014 15:54:47 EST Permission... Because I am trying to get back in a good place, because I am newly dedicated I find that I have to be perfect 100 percent of the time or I get distracted. Or at least that's how I felt. Today is my chance to turn a corner. I had a bad food weekend, some of you may know that from yesterdays blog. I didn't give up, I just kept going. That's new, that's good, that's healthy. Yesterday I came home and worked on spelling words with my son. We wrote them in sidewalk chalk on the driveway, t... Tue, 28 Oct 2014 08:54:51 EST The struggle... The weekend. <BR> <BR> My serious downfall. <BR> <BR> I have so many excuses, so many reasons, so many people to blame. <BR> <BR> As long as I don't take the blame myself. <BR> <BR> Why on earth should I be held accountable for what I put in my mouth? <BR> <BR> Why should I have to speak up and say "I don't want that birthday cake and ice cream"? <BR> <BR> Why should I have to be the one to say no? <BR> <BR> It isn't my fault, it's... <BR> <BR> My MIL, who gave me cake and ice cream... Mon, 27 Oct 2014 09:42:15 EST Every.single.time. The cravings. <BR> <BR> The bloody cravings. <BR> <BR> They will be the end of me! <BR> <BR> I do have to say I have noticed an improvement in a couple of ways I'm dealing with the cravings. <BR> <BR> 1. I find it easier to just say no than I did last month. A LOT easier. I am sticking to my cup of water/10 minutes on the bike rule. It's amazing the difference this makes. Just giving myself permission seems to take a lot of the desire away. <BR> <BR> 2. The cravings aren't as i... Fri, 24 Oct 2014 09:57:26 EST Of wishes and dreams and lots of crazy things... Don't ask me about the title....I have no clue where that came from. <BR> <BR> I'm kind of feeling....I don't know how to put it. Wishy today. You know....I wish this wasn't so hard. I wish I could snap my fingers and be as healthy as I want. I wish that when I lose weight my stomach wouldn't sag and slap against things it shouldn't be slapping against. I wish I hadn't done this to my body. I wish I was stronger. I wish I could go back in time and smack my 139 pound self in the face.... Thu, 23 Oct 2014 11:07:15 EST My blog entry from exactly 5 years <link><BR>urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=2499100 </link> <BR> <BR> I can't even begin to tell you how I feel about this Wed, 22 Oct 2014 12:54:38 EST