BETHIEBOOPS's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=BETHIEBOOPS BETHIEBOOPS's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ My feelings on the Whole30 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5776245 Today I completed the Whole30 challenge. Day 30. Boom. <BR> <BR> If you aren't aware, the Whole30 is set out in "It starts with Food". If you haven't checked it out, I totally recommend it. <BR> <BR> For 30 days, I skipped: <BR> <BR> - Sugar <BR> - Grains <BR> - Soy <BR> - Alcohol <BR> - Preservatives and Additives <BR> - Dairy <BR> - Legumes <BR> <BR> and I only ate: <BR> <BR> - Eggs <BR> - Animal protein <BR> - Fruit <BR> - Veggies <BR> - Healthy oils like coconut oil <BR> - Nuts <BR> ... Tue, 9 Sep 2014 01:52:09 EST On being down but not out http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5774934 It is hard for me to make a comeback so long and with so much time and space between comebacks. It is hard for me to see my face and to read these past blogs watching myself obsess over numbers and grams. <BR> <BR> I can still feel the gut-wrenching dread of trying so hard and just not succeeding. <BR> <BR> I carry my mistakes with me in the form of fat deposits around my body. When those mistakes get bigger in my mind, I get bigger. <BR> <BR> Moving to the USA was a challenge. It tested... Sun, 7 Sep 2014 02:14:15 EST Day 56: It's all come back http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5534511 I am so sad to admit that all the weight I had lost since restarting my clock is back. And it brought friends. <BR> <BR> I don't know why I cannot control my eating at the moment, but I'm trying to give myself a wee bit of grace. Afterall, I've been selling all our junk and preparing to move to a new country with only 5 suitcases. It's stressful. <BR> <BR> Good heavens! And we're doing it with a 6 month old infant. (who just cut his first two *adorable* teeth!). We're leaving in just over ... Thu, 7 Nov 2013 04:40:12 EST Day 43: Progress isn't a straight line http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5522850 Today's a special reminder that progress is not a straight line. It's not a math equation. It's one day forward. One day oops. Three days forward. One meal oops. <BR> <BR> It's because life- life happens. I was derailed by a pregnancy and some bad advice that took my 3kg (6.6lbs) gain from pregnancy and escalated it to a whopping 9kgs (19.8lbs). I wouldn't trade Babyboops in for a better body, but it is what it is, and once again I am a stranger in my own body. <BR> <BR> Here's my little g... Fri, 25 Oct 2013 05:20:49 EST Day 41: Weigh in http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5521281 I promise to not always come on SP just to lament how fast the week goes by. But seriously? It FLIES! <BR> <BR> It was a good week. Healthful and kind. <BR> <BR> I tried goji berries and they are delicious. I want to put them in just about everything. <BR> <BR> I weighed in the same as last week. <BR> <BR> At this point, as long as I don't gain I'm better than going free for all in all this stress! <BR> <BR> On that note, 30 days until hubby, myself and my favourite infant jump on a ... Wed, 23 Oct 2013 12:11:59 EST Day 34: Weigh In http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5514877 Yeah, so I'm not entirely sure where this week went. But here we are on a wednesday and that means I need to pop in to stay accountable. <BR> <BR> Well, it wasn't the best of weeks. We ran out of groceries and out of money to buy groceries really early this month. This means I get to eat whats in the cupboard. I chose to eat oats every morning and this seems like a good choice, but it's really not ideal for my body. Firstly, it takes a gigantic bowl for me to feel full- and then I just want ... Wed, 16 Oct 2013 06:51:17 EST Day 26: Weigh-in http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5507602 Things are still going pretty well. I've had a couple "no-no" meals this weekend, but the scale is still going down. <BR> <BR> Shocker: I guess it's not all or nothing right now. <BR> <BR> There has been lots of celebrating lately and it's a great place to be. <BR> <BR> My hubby has been approved for his green card, which means we will be in the USA by Thanksgiving! <BR> <BR> I'm weighing in today instead of tomorrow because tomorrow is going to be cray cray. I'm down 1.2 pounds from l... Tue, 8 Oct 2013 05:25:22 EST Day 23: What a loss feels like http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5504944 ... after seeing the scale skyrocket after pregnancy I'm finally seeing it go down! <BR> <BR> It feels good. <BR> <BR> Great even. <BR> <BR> Dare I say that I found my groove again? <BR> <BR> <em>236</em> Sat, 5 Oct 2013 06:00:25 EST Day 21: Weigh in #fail http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5502089 Yeah, so today I was supposed to weigh in. Aaaaaanndd I didn't. There was a house inspection at the crack of dawn, and I literally {okay, fine, figuratively}didn't breathe until 11 am. So by the time I stepped on the scale, I had already eaten, showered, drank tea and water etc and the scale reading was WAAAAY off. So instead of panicking, I am logging the last weight I knew from three days ago - 249 lbs. So long 250s. again. <BR> <BR> Today I am eating as per my blog yesterday and I feel ... Wed, 2 Oct 2013 05:00:11 EST Day 20: a muddle of my life right now. complete with cranky baby. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5501118 I'm hereby stopping today to say FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY GET THE PROCESSED CARBS OUT OF THE HOUSE BEFORE I EAT THEM ALL!!! <BR> <BR> I think I need a new plan. Something to 1. get me excited like I used to be and 2. to give these days some structure. <BR> <BR> I'm in the middle of a crazy crazy (AMAZING!) life change, no longer working, and I'm not sitting down to eat. Instead, I pick off of something (yesterday I ate 4 servings of instant oats. Because they are instant and I was hu... Tue, 1 Oct 2013 08:03:23 EST Day 18: Takin' care of business http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5499325 Well, I've been tracking my carbs the last four days and I was SHOCKED to discover that I'm eating in excess of 500 grams of carbs a day! Yowzers! My calories are in range for breastfeeding- around 2000-2500 each day. I was really surprised by my tracking and am excited to see what paying attention to these levels do for me. <BR> <BR> Also it looks like I'll have a loss this week of at least 1 pound. I'm aiming for more- and will see how things cook by Wednesday. I have a feeling this is due... Sun, 29 Sep 2013 13:31:40 EST Day 14: Weigh in http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5495514 So, it wasn't the very best of weeks. In addition to the binge on Saturday night, I've eaten out for one meal Sunday, Monday and yesterday. <BR> <BR> It's a lot of processed foods. And my body despises processed foods. <BR> <BR> So I was both happy and sad to see a .2 loss this week. <BR> <BR> Happy because it wasn't a gain. <BR> <BR> Sad because it could have been a real loss. <BR> <BR> I suppose I didn't believe that I could lose so hopefully this will motivate me to keep better trac... Wed, 25 Sep 2013 03:27:26 EST Day 11: Binging http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5492605 Last night was bad. Like whoa bad. <BR> <BR> As I've mentioned about 165 times lately, I've been really going through a hard time lately. And I know that I control the food I put in my gob, but sometimes, it feels like it controls me. <BR> <BR> Yesterday I ate a full kilogram (2.2 pounds) of applesauce on top of eating a full meal at KFC on top of eating 3 pancakes. <BR> <BR> I know you are asking how one eats so much food in one seating. With a spoon, I answer. <BR> <BR> Because, some... Sun, 22 Sep 2013 09:36:37 EST Day 9: I think I have a drinking problem. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5490807 *note to say that this is not very interesting. I just need to blog SOMETHING to stay accountable ;) <BR> <BR> For being a nursing mother, I thought I wasn't very thirsty. I'd drink a liter of water during the day and a couple of mugs of Rooibos tea and call it good. Technically it's 8 glasses of water and I didn't feel very thirsty so I called it good. <BR> <BR> This week I discovered a large Mason jar in my cupboard that holds 1.25 liters of water. It's big and super badass. And I can e... Fri, 20 Sep 2013 06:02:52 EST Day 7: And the results are in... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5488883 ... and I gained 2 kgs (5lbs). <BR> <BR> Trust me. I was bummed too. I don't understand my body and why the week of renewed exercise and healthier eating didn't translate into a loss for me. <BR> <BR> But, it is what it is. <BR> <BR> And I'm instead focusing on what DID change this week: <BR> <BR> 1. Depression, where is your sting? The clouds have parted and I've been feeling much more myself of late. <BR> <BR> 2. Oh hole, you have a bottom! Two weeks ago, I never felt full. This week... Wed, 18 Sep 2013 02:23:37 EST Day 5: Focusing on the actions- not the pounds http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5486869 I stepped on the scale this morning anticipating a good number. I was sorely disappointed. <BR> <BR> But maybe that's where one of my current problems lie in this start over. I'm expecting the scale to respond to my efforts without any work being put into it. <BR> <BR> I was successful last time because in part, I focused less on the scale (even with a daily weigh) and more on the habits that led to weight loss. <BR> <BR> Yes, I'm making slow changes back to where I want to be, but I can'... Mon, 16 Sep 2013 06:08:39 EST Day 2: funerals make for a lousy day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5484655 ...but I came out on top. My eating wasnt awesome, but no binges, nothing baked. Instead I have a very clean house :-) <BR> <BR> What do you do to keep out of the kitchen on rough days? Fri, 13 Sep 2013 13:50:12 EST Day 1: Talking the talk http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5483307 *sigh* I hate restarting the clock - again. But it feels like the right thing to do. <BR> <BR> I've been betrayed by my body as much as I have betrayed her, and we need to patch things up. Reconcile as it were. <BR> <BR> I started today by nicely reminding her that no, we don't need cinnamon bites for breakfast. I can have treats anytime- but not cinnamon bites, not today. We need to heal a bit. Too much refined sugar - too much refined grains. <BR> <BR> I'm sad. I'm really sad. I can't r... Thu, 12 Sep 2013 03:36:52 EST BLC 22 Goals and New Beginings http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5381694 Hooray for new goals and beginning again! <BR> <BR> <BR> My Measurements were terrible for this month. Embarrassing too. Pregnancy has changed my body- I gained 2 inches on my waist, 2 on my hips and 1.5 on each thigh. That's a lot of inches! But the good news is that I'm not accepting it. This is my post partum body for now, and will look different in 4/8/12 weeks. <BR> <BR> My Fit test results were also pitiful. <BR> <BR> Crunches: 32 <BR> Squats: 54 <BR> Pushups (modified): 8 <BR> Pla... Fri, 7 Jun 2013 17:03:33 EST Tough balance! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5376369 Wow, this is tough. Nursing Baby Boops makes me HUNGRY!! I've been in range on day 1 and 2, but just barely. Yikes! <BR> <BR> But alls well that ends well. I've been trying to get my bum off the sofa more- dancing and shuffling wherever I can. Yesterday we were out of the house all day. It gave me much hope that sooner rather than later, I'll be back to my old active self. <BR> <BR> Today, I'm focusing on getting in all my water. I find it hard to drink enough because I spend 12 hours of e... Mon, 3 Jun 2013 07:35:36 EST Day 1- Starting at the beginning http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5374257 TADA! Baby boops is a month old already (Where did the time go?) and it's time to start losing weight again! I'm feeling <em>15</em> <BR> <BR> I'm ready to do this! <em>244</em> Sat, 1 Jun 2013 05:26:23 EST That's just not working! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5369401 UGH! Today, I stepped on the scale and noticed it is on a slightly upward trajectory. UNCOOL scale. UNCOOL! So I decided that at 4 weeks post partum I would start counting calories and making sure that I am within a healthy range. (It would be unwise to start now as I am still building up milk supply). I tracked a few days in a row, and I have been eating more than 2300 calories a day. NO WONDER I'm gaining weight! Yuck. <BR> <BR> I'm not on metformin since I'm breastfeeding- so my body is ... Mon, 27 May 2013 14:35:17 EST Trusting your body http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5354736 I haven't always had a very good relationship with my body. <BR> <BR> I haven't always cared for her, respected her and cherished her for what she can do. It was only when I discovered that PCOS was the reason my body did the strange things that it did that I was able to forgive myself for being "fat" or whatever. <BR> <BR> It wasn't my fault. It wasn't my body's fault either. It's PCOS's fault! <BR> <BR> And when I found out I was pregnant last year, I realised that my body is engineere... Mon, 13 May 2013 06:56:13 EST Introducing Baby Boops http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5348569 <BR> Caleb Jude <BR> Born 3 May 2013 at 10:01 after 52 hours of labour (start to finish - only 5 hours of active labour and 11 minutes of pushing) <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/5/5/l551595978.jpg"> <BR> <BR> 2.39 kgs and 50.5 cm <BR> <BR> He's absolutely perfect in every way. <BR> <BR> He was born gently, without intervention or medication, and as I felt his body leave mine, I stretched out to clutch him crying "my baby, my baby, my baby". <BR> <BR> He's mine... Tue, 7 May 2013 11:56:24 EST Week 38- Fully Baked... and I don't mean the baby http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5338195 My mind is going- and fast. It's so hard to sleep well, I'm muddling up all my words and it's just not WORKING for this woman. <BR> <BR> Yesterday was my birthday. It was a beautiful day celebrated with all those who I love most. Today I prepare for hubby's birthday this week and the arrival of Baby. <BR> <BR> I'm entirely anxious to meet him. While I worked around the house, I set up my tripod, and snapped one final preggy picture of me in his nursery. Just in case he comes early, I can n... Sun, 28 Apr 2013 11:31:17 EST Week 37 wrap-up http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5331893 I'm TERM! This means baby can come any day from last week! I celebrated by packing up for the hospital, and getting all of baby's clothes washed. We were tremendously blessed at my shower, so there wasn't much at all to buy. We picked up a couple of 0-3 month onsies and a newborn outfit or two, but otherwise EVERY other clothing item was gifted to us that we needed. <BR> <BR> We are so blessed. <BR> <BR> How far along? <BR> 37 weeks. Baby is gaining an ounce a day (chubba chubba) and that... Mon, 22 Apr 2013 14:45:50 EST Week 36- TADA! I'm showing off my belly {with pics} http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5323534 Whew! I just can't seem to catch up! I'm wrapping up my 36th week... and boy was it awesome! <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/1/l1104719792.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I had the most tremendous baby shower celebration. It was absolutely beautiful- elegant and cozy. I was so surprised to have nearly 40 people there with me to celebrate this unborn child- I'm a transplant because I've moved so much in my life, and it was so special to have people travel from near and far to sha... Mon, 15 Apr 2013 05:55:55 EST Week 35- I nearly missed it! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5316657 ARGH! I nearly missed my week 35 update! It's been a hectic hectic week and I am simply exhausted both emotionally and physically. <BR> <BR> BUT I made it. With one day to go. (will post 36 week update later this week) Here's a brief update of the week. <BR> <BR> How far along? <BR> 35 weeks. Baby is probably around 6-6.5 pounds now and is really running out of room. No one ever told me how painful his rolls can be! I'm carrying him all out front- which is awesome for my back, but hell on ... Tue, 9 Apr 2013 03:53:11 EST On the way others eat http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5304982 Do you find, now that you've changed your life around, that those who used to spend a lot of time with eat really crappy food? <BR> <BR> I was really shocked last night, when hanging out with some old friends the feelings of judgement I was holding over the foods that were being eaten. I was a bit more self righteous than I would prefer (not to them, just in my heart) because there was an 18 month old snacking with us. <BR> <BR> For appetizers, there were two bags of potato chips, a cake ... Sat, 30 Mar 2013 05:11:48 EST Wait, 34? Doesn't that mean that he's coming soon? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5300634 Thank you all for your encouragement on last week's update. I'm writing this one quickly, because I know what sort of week I have and don't want to miss it :) <BR> <BR> How far along? <BR> 34 weeks. Baby is nearly 5 pounds (if he isn't already! This kid is HEAVY!) <BR> <BR> His fat layers — which will help regulate his body temperature once he's born — are filling him out, making him rounder {and cuter too right?}. His skin is also smoother than ever. His central nervous system is maturing ... Tue, 26 Mar 2013 10:39:22 EST Week 33- Birth Plan and Empowerment (and a nursery progress pic) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5293414 I'm going to start this one off with the warning that it's really long. And you might not care. And that's okay. :) I'm starting to develop passions am enjoying processing through the lens of pregnancy. <BR> <BR> How far along? <BR> 33 weeks! I've been saying 33 and a third for the last few days- but I cannot for the life of me remember what movie or TV show that's from! Infuriating! Baby is gigantic, and is pushing on my belly as if he wants more space. Yesterday, he was using his shoulder... Wed, 20 Mar 2013 09:02:53 EST 32 Weeks- ups and downs http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5287506 This particular week may have stretched into a month. I can hardly remember writing last weeks post! While the pregnancy seems to be zooming by, a week of deep introspection and realisation has made me a bit "off". <BR> <BR> How far along? <BR> 32 weeks (and a bit!) he weighs nearly 4 lbs (and trust me I can feel every one of them!). Twice this week he's given me little anatomy lessons where he pushes a body part out and rolls it around so I can feel it. First it was his little bum and leg ... Fri, 15 Mar 2013 09:31:20 EST Week 31- Baby's coming sooner than later... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5275312 I can't believe I'm typing out 31 weeks. My brain tells me, thanks to biology class, that babies around the 40 week mark, sometimes earlier, sometimes later- but certainly before 42 weeks. And here, I just wrote a number that puts me just 9 weeks away from his estimated due date. Yikes! <BR> <BR> I remember how LONG the first 12 weeks felt. Every morning, I woke up praying for my unborn child, for his health, for him to "stick", for his little heartbeat to continue galloping along. And once ... Wed, 6 Mar 2013 02:48:55 EST Week 30- Home streeeetch! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5266749 Well, here we are- just a few cursory weeks from meeting the little monster...err baby... that has been squeezing my bladder for 7 days on end. <BR> <BR> And I couldn't be happier. <BR> <BR> Thank you to all you lovely ladies who were so kind and sweet on my last blog. It's super awkward posting pictures of getting fatter- since, well, you know, this is a WEIGHTLOSS blog- but you guys are all so sweet and caring. I appreciate ya'll so very much. <BR> <BR> Here's my quick little update th... Thu, 28 Feb 2013 03:39:21 EST Week 29- preggo update! {with pics!} http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5261703 I feel like I'm rounding third and being waved into home this week! I'm posting this super late, as I am 29weeks and 5 days today, (oops!) meaning I'm am almost 30 weeks meaning I am almost there!! <BR> <BR> It was a GREAT week! Hubby and I celebrated our 4th anniversary. I still feel silly getting so excited about that- since so many couples are in their 10th or 20th year together, but I'm 24, and that means that the majority of my adult life has been with one wonderful person and that brin... Sun, 24 Feb 2013 03:06:28 EST On loving your body http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5257448 I found this post to be entirely moving and wanted to share it with you. <BR> <BR> http://www.canyoustayfordinner.com/2012/<BR>02/05/email-from-a-reader-on-loving-yo<BR>ur-body/ <BR> <BR> She's lost 135 pounds, and is SO beautiful. Her love for life and food is inspiring, and dammit those recipes are incredible {warning: not all are calorie controlled}. <BR> <BR> She says, "As human beings, we know ourselves to be changeable. We’re driven to be better in every capacity. And no one is ent... Wed, 20 Feb 2013 11:49:46 EST This week in bullet points http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5251215 It's been an eventful week. <BR> <BR> - I am now 28 weeks along in my pregnancy <BR> <BR> - That means that I'm officially in my 3rd trimester. <BR> <BR> - Baby kicks so hard, I think he might be trying to escape. <BR> <BR> - I am still under 9 lbs gained. <BR> <BR> - Baby definitely has his own personality, even before he's born. I can't believe how close we are now. <BR> <BR> - An extended family gathering reminded me how much body image issues can permeate healthy relationships. N... Fri, 15 Feb 2013 06:53:13 EST Week 27- Preggo Update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5238639 Finally a week of feeling a bit more normal! This update will be much more positive than the last few :) <BR> <BR> How far along? <BR> 27 weeks! Next week I start the third trimester and climb on the home stretch to meeting my little boy. He's getting really big now, if he were measuring average, he would be over 15 inches long. But our little guy measures a full week and a half bigger than average, so I expect him to be a bit taller than that! Geez! <BR> <BR> Weight Gain <BR> 9 pounds. No... Tue, 5 Feb 2013 11:35:27 EST Week 26 Preggo Update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5230209 So I'm not sure how many times it's acceptable to say "holy crap time is flying" but at this point it's a legitimate comment. Holy Crap. <BR> <BR> Two weeks ago I snapped a belly pic, but chose to not put it up because it made my ass look enormous. I mean it's big, but it's not THAT big. But whatever, I'm putting it up today because um... hello baby belly! <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/0/l202514778.jpg"> <BR> (taken at 24 weeks) <BR> <BR> How far along? <BR> 26 we... Wed, 30 Jan 2013 12:10:17 EST Week 25 Update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5221034 It's that time again! I'm bordering between feeling that things are slowing down, and yet realising that time is really flying by. Blame it on the hormones! <BR> <BR> How far along? <BR> We're 25 weeks along! The little guy is really growing now, apparently he should be around 800 grams this week. He's putting on a lot of baby fat so that he can regulate his body temperature when he is finally born. If we would peek inside, we'd see his hair colour and texture. I've read a lot of studies li... Thu, 24 Jan 2013 02:09:30 EST On Body Image (week 24 update) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5209734 This week has been a hard week for my perception of my body. <BR> <BR> I haven't always had good (okay fine, medium) self-esteem and sometimes those haunting old thoughts and phrases scrape through the box I've buried. Sometimes I catch it before I dive into a bucket of icecream, but sometimes they fester and grow and morph in fron tof my very eyes. <BR> <BR> And when you're pregnant, suddenly you are a body. I am no longer strong, capable, funny or beautiful. I am pregnant. I am pregnant.... Wed, 16 Jan 2013 09:45:36 EST Preggo Update: Week 23 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5201657 It's nearly week 24, but I figured I better recap the week before I forgot! <BR> <BR> Today is a miserable day. The weather is sharky (it's supposed to be our summertime and it's windy and cold instead) and I am sore and achy today. <BR> <BR> How far along? <BR> 23 weeks. He's weighing in just under 600grams {a little bigger than average}. We saw the little guy this week and I felt overwhelmed with gratitude. We watched him yawn, and wiggle his fingers and toes. The scan was wonderful, bu... Fri, 11 Jan 2013 07:02:20 EST 7 x 2013 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5183748 I don't normally make resolutions. Usually my life goals are constructed around my birthday- typically a '24 things to do before I'm 24' type set up. But when I saw these prompts on Day Zero (they do the 1001 things in 101 days lists) I had to have a look at it. <BR> <BR> Learn how to... [A new skill or hobby] <BR> Start [Develop a habit] <BR> Stop [Break a habit] <BR> Take a vacation to... [Where would you most like to vacation to?] <BR> Find [What are you looking for?]... Tue, 1 Jan 2013 11:57:50 EST Preggo Update: Week 22 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5183153 I totally wrote out an update last week, but by the time I got around to finishing it, I was 22 weeks already! Time it truly flying at this point. <BR> <BR> How far along? <BR> 22 weeks this week! Baby should be a little over a pound now and the size of a spaghetti squash. <BR> <BR> Stretch marks? <BR> Nothing new. <BR> <BR> Weight Gain? <BR> Yuck. This week I piled on 2 kilos! How in the heck?! I am hoping it's just water weight- {but with all my overindulgence on sweets and cookies, I'm... Tue, 1 Jan 2013 04:37:58 EST On clean eating and friendships http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5170692 So I realised today that I have sort of been on a bit of a bandwagon lately about cleaner diets. I wanted to make a statement for the record, and to make sure that I am communicating to my dear Spark friends clearly. <BR> <BR> First: What do I call "clean foods": I don't have the luxury of being in a location with much organic produce. I call anything in season and local good enough for now. I choose free range eggs, because I cannot afford organic free range eggs. It's important to me that... Wed, 19 Dec 2012 02:14:58 EST Preggo Update: Week 20 {warning: super long and rambly} http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5168704 Well, it's official. I'm half way through and so very excited! Many of you know how tentative I was about this pregnancy, so terrified that something would go wrong and I would lose this wonderful gift. I kept pushing off the fear to "I can celebrate when I hit 12 weeks" then to "When I feel him move" and now I am at 20 weeks, and well, I think it's okay to really cherish and celebrate this amazing experience I've been blessed with. <BR> <BR> I'm still terrified, of so many things, but I am... Mon, 17 Dec 2012 02:31:42 EST Diets, Memories and Gratitude http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5156707 I stumbled upon a blog post I read a while ago- before I was diagnosed with PCOS- when I was at a place of absolute desperation with my weight. I had just been to the USA for a friend's wedding and literally put on 20-40 pounds in 3.5 weeks. I had just spent the previous 4 months trying to lose weight so I wouldn't look like a cow in her wedding pics (which still happened. Sorry Meeka!), by sweating it out at the gym, only to maintain, then gain while away. It seems unbelievable that I was ca... Wed, 5 Dec 2012 05:46:57 EST Introducing the baby bump (17 weeks) and more muttering about weight and nutrition http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5150173 I really don't want to become "that" blogger who changes everything she cares about for her new pregnancy. So shall we call this a "progress pic"? <BR> <BR> Please excuse the hair. When you get up 7000x a night and still can't keep down anything beneficial to your body, you tend to start thinking that unkept hair is totally hot because well, at least I washed it and blowdried it straight yesterday. But that just isn't so. One day when I have money again, a haircut I will have. Until that day... Thu, 29 Nov 2012 05:03:27 EST Personal Nutrition Mantras http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5148239 It's not easy to eat well when anything fresh turns to ash in your mouth. <BR> <BR> This whole being pregnant thing is not for sissies, and I wish I could claim title to eating fresh and whole for the little one (who was confirmed to be a BOY today!) <BR> <BR> But I've decided to eat what I can, the best of the choices in front of me and work on growing this baby to the best of my abilities (he's already 197grams!) <BR> <BR> I'm choosing a mantra to alleviate some of my guilt on not doin... Tue, 27 Nov 2012 10:37:16 EST Mini rant about the blogosphere and clean eating http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5139912 Lately, I've been focussing on cleaning up my diet again. It's a bit of a losing battle since I am still queasy any time I smell meat or eggs cooking, but am craving the substance of a full meal (apparently mashed potatoes and sweet melon aren't cutting it anymore). <BR> <BR> I've been reading a lot in my spare time to get myself in the right mindset again, but I've found that so many of the blogs that I enjoyed just a month ago, have recently posted or communicated information in a very ju... Mon, 19 Nov 2012 00:23:22 EST