BESSLEAL's SparkPeople Blog BESSLEAL's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community So much change. Wow. I just wrote a blog on March 10 about my pregnancy. It's funny to see that considering I gave birth on April 1. I wasn't due until June 12 but seems like the little one couldn't wait to make her appearance. <BR> Payton Keaira was born 10 weeks early and weighed only 3lbs 12 oz. I'm happy to say that she's doing fantastic! She's currently in the NICU but should be coming home soon! YAY. I can't wait for mommyhood to begin. <BR> So I've decided to get back on the clean eating bandwagon. ... Wed, 27 Apr 2011 00:37:58 EST Expecting! :) Hey everyone! <BR> I haven't been online in soooo long and just wanted to point out that I really miss you all. Life has been so chaotic lately. I'm going to try to visit and post more to keep you all updated. :) <BR> <BR> So... if you've read my intro, you know that when I was overweight, I was diagnosed with PCOS and was told it would be highly unlikely to ever concieve without fertility treatments. So I continued on my weight loss journey and figured that when I met the 'One' and we had d... Thu, 10 Mar 2011 19:11:19 EST On being self destructive. :( I know I haven't been online for a lonnnnnggg while. I've fallen off track big time, but I know that in the past year and a half, SP has always been there for me. It's been the best place for support and love which is why I'm writing today. I've always found that blogging here helps me see things clearer and allows me to vent. I have a few confessions to make. I don't know if my behaviour is due to the weight loss and having the mindset of being able to do anything I want to do but I know tha... Sun, 12 Jul 2009 23:37:12 EST Thank you, Thank you!! *Bows* I just want to say thanks to everyone that nominated me as a motivator! You all have NO idea what that did for me. I am so glad I was able to inspire you and in turn, you all were able to motivate me once again after being run over by the wagon. Love you ALL!! :) Thu, 9 Apr 2009 13:47:59 EST Back on track for good?? So I'm proud to let you all know that I have finally been on the clean eating wagon for 5 days now. That includes 4 days of exercise as well! Me and my best friend (saskiegirl) are working on the 30 Day Shred by Jillian Michaels and let me tell you...I am so sore I can barely talk. (which if you know me, is very very very unusual. lol ) <BR> <BR> It feels so good, I forgot how abundant my energy is. I'm not in a grouchy mood anymore, I'm not tired, and have my positive outlook back! <BR> One... Fri, 6 Mar 2009 00:13:41 EST I'd be rich... I swear, if I had a dollar for every time I said 'I'm back on track as of Monday...' in the past 4 months, I'd be a millionaire. It's about time I stick to this for real. I feel like I lost myself. I have no energy, bloated at all times, grouchy, and lazy. I miss who I was at the beginning of this. I miss the constant reminders about how healthy I was. I want to feel good. I couldn't even remember how HARD it was. I slip up a fraction of a bit and it's a landslide. I need to make a few goals ... Wed, 25 Feb 2009 00:16:27 EST Feel Good Moments. You know those times when you are absolutely and definitely off the wagon, and all it takes is a simple comment to upstart you. I love it. <BR> <BR> Just those occasions that you see someone that you haven't seen in ages and they don't even recognize you. I ran into two people last night at the bar from high school that were part of the 'popular' clique. I thought it was funny that I actually had enough confidence to even approach them. The guy didn't even know who I was. He started chatting... Mon, 16 Feb 2009 01:50:38 EST Reward! LOST: <BR> One absolutely beautiful soul. Supported others. Pure of heart. Unselfish. Huge amount of confidence. Motivating. Energenic. Never swore. Listened to country music. Spent time with her family. Enjoyed the simple things. Cared about hurting people's feelings. Didn't care about what men thought. Loved to read. Organized. Emotional. Observant. Happy. <BR> Reward if found alive. <BR> Last seen late August. Mon, 9 Feb 2009 22:04:13 EST Lessons Learnt. So how is it that after losing 70lbs, someone can completely destroy all your confidence boosting efforts in a matter of minutes? <BR> My heart is pumping, my stomach is churning, and my blood is rushing. <BR> My friend just basically poured his heart out to my best friend (while I sat in the room pretending to sleep) about the fact that I'm 'perfect' from the chest up, that I definitely don't have a flat stomach, that I shouldn't be wearing clothes that hug my body, and that men only want m... Sat, 3 Jan 2009 07:30:29 EST I'm Bacccccck! Hey! <BR> So as of last week, (aside from Christmas day!) I was back on track. I felt sooooo good. My energy was returning and I truly didn't realize how crappy I felt previously. I was so ill from my cheat day on Christmas. :( <BR> <BR> So I've decided since 2009 starts in about 3 days, I'm going to jot down my resolutions and goals. :) Here goes! <BR> <BR> 1. Run a marathon. <BR> 2. Learn how to pole dance. <BR> 3. Hike up Nose Hill and Kananaskis. <BR> 4. Lose 40lbs to bring me to my ult... Sun, 28 Dec 2008 19:36:40 EST Unmotivated. Okay, so this is where I stand now. 57lbs down since joining SP, 63lbs in total. Down 5 dress sizes. Absolutely loving my life. Living up the single life. (PS. I broke off the engagement.) Yet I think that all this happiness has had a major major consequence on my healthy lifestyle. Beer, cake, candy, chicken wings, the list goes on. I fell off the wagon for a good 3-4 weeks and I still can't manage my way back on. I'll stay faithful for a few days but after the scale shows no loss, I fall ... Thu, 13 Nov 2008 00:37:04 EST Pole Dancing Class. A few weeks ago I had this brilliant idea that me and a friend should try a pole dancing class. I've watched compeititions online and seriously, the girls that do them are TANKS! They can lift their entire body weight, hang on by their inner thighs, and crawl down the pole. It's nuts! So we thought we'd give it a go and found a place in our city DEDICATED to the art of pole dancing. <BR> <BR> We signed up for the intro class and for the past week I've been barely holding it together because... Sun, 31 Aug 2008 01:36:15 EST OMG! I made it.... So a few weeks ago a friend of mine and me went to Reitmans to try on some clothes. I barely squeezed my butt into a size 14. The pants did up but with a whole lot of a muffin top. <BR> Today, I went shopping again and decided I'd grab a pair of size 14 jeans to bring home (I didn't even try them on at the store!) to hang on my wall until I could fit them nicely. Well, of course curiosity got the most of me and I just had to try them on when I got home. (What? I had to see how the fit progre... Thu, 28 Aug 2008 21:54:41 EST I Slayed a Dragon (Fruit) :) So I'm on this new kick. I want to try a new fruit or veggie at least once a month. Last month it was eggplant, and I was instantly addicted. I made eggplant dip, roasted eggplant, and included it in many of my stir fries. This month I had the opportunity to get a dragonfruit. It was relatively expensive. $1.98 each, but I decided to sacrifice a few extra bucks and try the thing. It always stares at me when I walk the aisles at Superstore. <BR> <BR> I got the dang thing home safely (thank Go... Sun, 24 Aug 2008 22:20:57 EST McHugh Bluff. So I've started doing the stairs at McHugh Bluff with a friend of mine. 150's hard work. But OH MAN, am I proud of us. The first day we started, we did it twice and we were pooped. We went again yesterday, and we did it 3 times in a total of 10:00 min. It was wicked. My legs are burning today. The good pain. <BR> It actually feels like we're accomplishing something. It's great to be on those stairs. What a rush. A very tiring, sore rush. <BR> <BR> We decided to set a goal too. ... Tue, 29 Jul 2008 16:05:43 EST Photo Happy. :) I love pictures. <BR> <BR> Wow. Never thought I'd ever say that... <BR> I used to shy away from the cam, I hated being reminded of how fat I was. Although I'm only 30lbs lighter, I feel incredible. I've posted some before and after pics in my album and I was just comparing them. I glow. Everyone told me that but I can finally see it in my pics. Now I'm shutter happy. I pose wherever and whenever I can. It's quite sickening. LOL <BR> <BR> I check myself out in mirrors. I love who I'm becomi... Sat, 26 Jul 2008 01:03:07 EST That darn membership.... I recently posted about a pushy salesman at my local gym, and I felt extremely pushed into buying a membership. Although it has only been 10 days of owning the darn thing, I am now absolutely addicted. (Which I'm hoping is a good thing!) <BR> <BR> So far, I've done a spinning class, played 2 hours of squash, done TONS of cardio, and had 2 sessions with a personal trainer, who, btw it wicked!! She totally kicked my butt yesterday, I'm so sore!! <BR> <BR> It's a huge accomplishment for me, s... Thu, 3 Jul 2008 20:54:07 EST Confessions of a buffet addict. As you all well know, I am, or at least used to be, completely and obsessively addicted to buffets. I love 'em all. Chinese buffets, brunch buffets, pizza buffets, salad bars, you name it. I had such a hard time avoiding those places in the beginning of my program. (heck, I still have trouble...especially when friends or family decide to go there and I have to turn it down. ) For some people it's chocolate, or pizza, or fast food (actually, this was one of my addictions as well, shame on me. ... Thu, 26 Jun 2008 23:42:32 EST Pushy Salesmen and Me. :) So, yesterday, I had an appointment at the World Health Club and ended up signing up. (They are sooooo pushy!! lol) I like the facilities and it seems like a good place so far. I signed a month by month contract (which is awesome because then I can cancel at any time with no penalty and I'm not bound for a year or whatever.) and it was a fairly decent price. I'm just having a hard time justifying it because I'm so broke from going to Europe. <BR> :( <BR> They were having a promo, $99 for the... Tue, 24 Jun 2008 19:51:41 EST GRR. I AM SO FRUSTRATED! <BR> Since getting back from my trip, I've been working like a dog, aside from 2 mishaps. I've exercised more this week than ever before and I haven't lost a single pound. I'm starting to get really discouraged. :( Especially when I look at my ticker and still see 65lbs left to go. <BR> <BR> I eat healthy, stay in my calorie range, work out 3x a week for an hour, drink plenty of water, and try to limit my sodium. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I've read about platea... Sun, 22 Jun 2008 00:41:48 EST So Happy. Wow, today has been pretty good. Since I've gotten back from Europe (about a month ago) I haven't had a job, so, 2 months now without steady income. YIKES. I've been going on interviews, working my butt off trying to impress various employers, and FINALLY I was called with an offer. It's funny how depressed not working can make you. I was absolutely miserable. I slept til noon (NOT LIKE ME AT ALL, I'm a huge early bird!) everyday, was bored bored bored out of my mind, and fell into... Wed, 18 Jun 2008 19:50:25 EST Gazelle - Calorie Burning (Reference) Light - 10 Calories/min <BR> Moderate - 13 Calories/min <BR> Vigorous - 18 Calories/min Sun, 15 Jun 2008 20:20:50 EST Treadmill Speeds (Reference) 3.5 MPH - 17 MIN/MILE <BR> 4 MPH - 15 MIN/MILE <BR> 4.5 MPH - 13 MIN/MILE <BR> 5.2 MPH - 11.5 MIN/MILE <BR> 6 MPH - 10 MIN/MILE Thu, 12 Jun 2008 16:31:57 EST Strange. It's so strange how as soon as I get back from my trip, I go into hardcore mode, making sure I always stay within my ranges, drinking my water, not cheating, etc. I didn't so much as lose one pound during the week, then I slip up 2 days ago and went out with some friends, (had 10 hot wings, *deep fried* consumed mega calories/fat.) Of course, the next day, I felt absolutely miserable, not guilt wise, but my stomach ached all day, so I went back on with my strict regime, and now I'm already 2l... Thu, 12 Jun 2008 15:21:51 EST Uh Oh. Okay, so I completely blew it. BIG TIME. I went on vacation, ate basically everything I could get my hands on, (which btw was a lot of food, since it was an all inclusive buffet...) and I came home about 5lbs heavier. Mind probably would've been a lot more if I hadn't have gotten sick halfway through. After about 4 days, everything went right through me and I was forced to eat plain rice and toast. Mmm mmm... I'm still not feeling so good, so it's chicken broth and rice for me. :( <B... Thu, 5 Jun 2008 01:09:25 EST Goals I've decided that maybe writing down my goals and being specific will help me get back on track so here goes. :) <BR> <BR> May 24, 08 - (Punta Cana TRIP woo hoo) - 220lbs ----FAILED! Weigh in: 221.5lb (Almost there!) <BR> <BR> ACK! June 2, 2008: 225lbs! UH OH. <BR> <BR> August 7, 08 - 205lbs. (Reward: A Bike!) <BR> <BR> September 7, 08 - 199lbs. (Flowers!) <BR> <BR> October 7, 08 - 194lbs. (Reward: Salon Appointment with cut and highlights.) <BR> <BR> November 7, 08 - 189lbs. (Flower... Wed, 14 May 2008 15:19:24 EST 30 Second Challenge 30 Second Challenge <BR> <BR> How many can you do in 30 seconds? <BR> <BR> February 1, 2008 <BR> <BR> Wall Push Ups: 16 <BR> <BR> Crunches: 15 <BR> <BR> Lunges: 13 <BR> <BR> Squats: 7 <BR> <BR> Fri, 1 Feb 2008 22:41:03 EST