BESSHAILE's SparkPeople Blog BESSHAILE's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Where Did The Blog Go? TheBrains Butt In! Oh la - here it is almost September and I haven't blogged in a month! and that last blog was just sop to clean up after the grief spill of June. Of course, admission of grief doesn't make it suddenly disappear. Like any other overwhelming human condition - weight issues, alcohol addiction - the acknowledgement of something is just that first step. You still gotta take those fortylevendyhundred next ones. And while a year is just a human construct, as I close in on the anniversary of Mama's... Tue, 18 Aug 2015 07:16:12 EST Almost All Fixed All Fixed, Mommy was my toddler son's stock phrase for a number of emotional states. Depending on the situation it could mean "I'm done", "Help me", or "Get Me Outta Here!" Now and then it was said from a base of terror but far more frequently it came as an upbeat little chirp from a little boy who was ready to move on. In this world, you mostly want to be "All Fixed" and I am almost there. <BR> <BR> When I last posted I was wallowing in the blues and I believe there was Cappuccino Crunch i... Mon, 27 Jul 2015 06:56:45 EST Grieving Still I saw it coming - or rather - in hindsight I see when it started coming. First I stopped making things. That should be - from now on will be - a harbinger of TheBlackCloudOfGrief. With half my brains in my fingertips, whenever they don't have anything to do - whenever I don't want to do anything manipulatively creative, I need to take a look inside and see what's bugging me - and maybe see if I can treat the sadness by being kind to myself. <BR> <BR> Sometime in the spring I put down the s... Sun, 19 Jul 2015 09:42:44 EST A PRAYER <img src=""> Fri, 19 Jun 2015 13:57:33 EST TheBrains Cope with Frustration - and Hope I hear TheBrains whispering. Let's eavesdrop. <BR> <BR> * * * * * <BR> <BR> <em>18</em> Look. did you see it? <BR> <BR> <em>43</em> Hmmm. Yes. Looks good. <BR> <BR> <em>18</em> Yeah, but it makes me nervous. Excited, but nervous. <BR> <BR> <em>43</em> I understand. We've seen drops like this before only to be disappointed on Tuesday. <BR> <BR> <em>18</em> Yeah but .. lordy - is that scale exactly at our happy weight? I mean - it hasn't been there for .. forever! <BR> <BR> <... Sun, 17 May 2015 08:50:54 EST Missing Mama on Mother's Day <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Last Monday I had another of those heart clutching moments that turned my expression sour - as I realized I won't get to celebrate Mother's Day with Mama this year. It's funny how this whole process of grieving for Mama is so full of grouchy anger. You'd think I'd be sad. Instead I'm ticked off at TheUniverse-and-TheWayThingsAre. Grrrrr. Fortunately, God has broad shoulders and He understands that we all grieve i... Sun, 10 May 2015 08:41:03 EST She's Launched! <link><BR>vED24Eg </link> <BR> <BR> Yesterday was one of those crystal blue persuasion days and as I came back into the office from the mailbox it struck me - I will be werk werk werkin' so hard this month it might pass me by and I'll never have spent an afternoon outside. With 190 hours of vacation saved up (werk werk werk, that's all I do <em>20</em> ) I suddenly decided to Play Hooky. I knew we were covered, btw, and I had nothing pressing on my ... Sat, 9 May 2015 09:14:13 EST Beck Diet Solution - How I Plan to Use It Here it is, May already, and somebody is NOT at her happy weight. She's been close ... less than a pound away ... but she is not there and she's still forking out potential retail therapy dollars to Weight Watchers all because she won't skip a few bites of cheese, dishes of ice cream, or take home meals. <BR> <BR> This is not acceptable. <BR> <BR> So what is she going to do about it? She being me, of course and please forgive me for slipping into third person - bad habit. I suspect it's a... Tue, 5 May 2015 07:07:48 EST TheBrains Fulfill a Promise <em>18</em> Psst. Hey. <BR> <BR> <em>43</em> Yes? <BR> <BR> <em>18</em> I thought she was going to post about that camera. Didn't she promise? <BR> <em>43</em> Yes. She did. <BR> <BR> <em>18</em> Well. Well? <BR> <BR> <em>43</em> Well, I think she has been too busy. <BR> <BR> <em>18</em> Huh. Not any busier than us. <BR> <BR> <em>43</em> Than we <BR> <BR> <em>18</em> Pbbbtth Not interested in a grammar lesson, you conjunctionist. <BR> <BR> <em>43</em> (gri... Sun, 3 May 2015 08:43:35 EST After 100 Days - A Subjective Assessment One hundred days ago, in an effort to get back into the work mode after a 2 week vacation, I wrote down a list of 4 things I wanted to do every day. Here's the list: <BR> <BR> 1. Drink 8 glasses of water <BR> 2. Walk the dogs - indoors on rainy days I can dance with them <BR> 3. Get up from my desk every hour and stay up for 10 minutes. On Weekends just plain get up every hour. <BR> 4. Write down what I have faith in for just this one day. <BR> <BR> Each day I updated my status with a c... Sat, 18 Apr 2015 08:28:34 EST Missing Mama in the Springtime On Easter Sunday we drove to the city to spend it with precious cousins. The day was beautiful, the temperature just right, and the winding drive through Virginia back roads was long enough that once we were into the second hour, Mr and Mrs Chatty ran out of things to say. This might not have happened had we not just taken a somewhat shorter drive down these same back roads the day before, but once we were nestled in the car cocoon of silence, the tiny emotional crack in my heart had a chanc... Tue, 7 Apr 2015 07:37:51 EST Got the Low Down Blues <link><BR>_EZugEY </link> <BR> <BR> At least, I had them this week - those mean old misr'y lovin' low down blues. And I got to thinking about them - about where they come from - not the sadness blues that come when your Mama dies or the sickness blues that come when you're in bed with the flu, but the mean old misr'y lovin' blues that just come when there are way too many happy things in your life but something made you think of the one thing you real... Sat, 28 Mar 2015 07:38:15 EST 75 Days Does Not A Habit Make March is a tricky time of year. Not only can you go from snow to snowdrops in a single day but there is a sneaky allergen that blows in with the March winds. With almost nothing yet in bloom, except, perhaps some very tall trees, I don't know what it is but I do know that it is in March that my allergies wake up. There have been years when I was sick from March to June with everything from the usual runny nose and pink eyes to full blown laryngitis. I have lived on Zyrtec and Flonase. <BR> ... Tue, 24 Mar 2015 07:22:38 EST Occasional? Treat? Enough? What does it all mean? Have you ever noticed how many dessert recipes there are in the diet world? Even here on SparkPeople, there's a dessert recipe every week. And it's not just poached pears with a sprinkle of cinnamon. It's Luck 'O the Irish Bundt cake. And if you read the recipe for that cake, a serving is 188 calories for 1/24th of the cake. Picture in your mind how big a slice that will really be. Imagine the circle of your bundt cake pan. Divide it into 4th's. Then divide one of those quarters in half. Now... Sun, 8 Mar 2015 07:52:46 EST Getting Around to Those Goals - with a little help from TheBrains The earliest recording of a new year celebration is believed to have been in Mesopotamia, c. 2000 B.C. and was celebrated around the time of the vernal equinox, in mid-March. <BR> <BR> Read more: A History of the New Year <link><BR>ry.html#ixzz3TVbiQOhk </link> <BR> <BR> I believe I want to channel my inner Mesopotamian and start celebrating New Year in mid-March. I will still clean out the detritus of Christmas and probably even buy me that new journ... Thu, 5 Mar 2015 06:50:12 EST But You've Always Been Skinny I have lived in the same place since 1975. I've had the same job since 1978 - and it's a job where I am often behind a counter that people approach to ask for assistance. In short - I have been here a long time. You'd think all these people who've seen me for FORTY YEARS would know that I am a fat lady who has struggled to get close to her magic number, but she isn't there quite yet. . You'd think they'd remember how fat I used to be. You'd think they would remember that once I looked like... Mon, 9 Feb 2015 07:14:48 EST All About Da Plan - a confession So - my experiment with weekly meal planning is in it's 3rd week and I've already strayed from that plan twice. No - 3 times! <BR> <BR> But Wait! <BR> <BR> This is not a prison schedule. It's a PLAN - something I have invented out of my own brain, kitchen, needs and desires. Something I created to make life better - not to prove that I can obey. Before guilt gets a'hold on me I better get clear about what prompted the PLAN and how the PLAN is supposed to be used. <BR> <BR> So. Here goes. ... Tue, 27 Jan 2015 07:05:11 EST A Weekly Menu - a Paean to Planning I am actually a pretty good planner. I'm not always such a good do-er but I sure can make me some plans. But one area where I am Not So Good At Planning is making a weekly menu. In fact, I'm usually somewhat truculently resistant to weekly menu plans. I won't even read the part of a diet book that tells me on Monday I will have fish and on Tuesday I will have chicken. My stock answer in opposition to weekly planning - ubiquitous advice from ANY diet source - has always been "How do I know wh... Sat, 17 Jan 2015 07:20:38 EST Before and After shots <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Psyche! <BR> <BR> Fooled ya, didn't I? <BR> <BR> I bet you thought you'd see me in a cover-up dress and then a bikini? Nope. This is the kitchen pantry cabinet make-over. And truth is - the after doesn't look all that different in a photograph from the before. But if you're trying to cook in my kitchen - well - then you can really... Sun, 11 Jan 2015 08:11:19 EST Beck Beck Beck away at the problem. It seems like the diet and fitness world is full of Becks. There is my own favorite Martha Beck who wrote both The Joy Diet and The 4-Day win. There is Judith Beck who wrote The Beck Diet Solution, and now I discover there is Billy Beck III who has written Lean and Mean: Fat burning secrets of the world's best trainer. Interesting coincidence. <BR> <BR> There is a certain sameness to all diet and fitness books - says the librarian who has read bazillions of them. In some ways, the sameness... Sat, 10 Jan 2015 07:05:30 EST My 4-Step Spark Streak I love me some lists. I love lists of Things To Do (TTD lists) I love Charles Schwab lists. That's something I blogged about in 2012. I just love lists. And I tend to make long ones and do some of them and not others and that's alright if that's just me, being me. <BR> <BR> BUT <BR> <BR> But I also want to get a handle on my time right now after 2 glorious weeks of vacation. I concentrated on getting enough sleep and water over that holiday and did well - but the first day back at work an... Tue, 6 Jan 2015 07:31:26 EST Being At Goal - an ENFP's perspective Did you ever take the Myers Briggs Personality Inventory? Do you know how you scored? Have you ever even heard of it? Here's a link: <BR> <BR> <link><BR>ity-type/mbti-basics/ </link> <BR> <BR> And here's a quote from their homepage: <BR> <BR> "The essence of the theory is that much seemingly random variation in the behavior is actually quite orderly and consistent, being due to basic differences in the ways individuals prefer to use their perceptio... Sun, 4 Jan 2015 08:18:10 EST Green Drink - another Mama Christmas Memory What has been is what will be, <BR> and what has been done is what will be done, <BR> and there is nothing new under the sun. <BR> .......... Ecclesiastes 1:4-11 <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> You may call it a green smoothie but in 1962 it was known in The Palace off Jhanke Rd., infamously and miserably, as Green Drink. Our aunt, the health food nut, had talked our I-Hate-To-Cook mother into trying her concoction of bitter gree... Sun, 21 Dec 2014 09:15:26 EST Real Gifts - More Mama Christmas Memories I'm all through with dootiful activities for the year and this is giving me time to sink indulgently into Christmas Brain - which, this year, includes More Mama Christmas Memories. I am one of those disgustingly cheerful Christmas celebrants who never gets enough Christmas music, enough Christmas tree, enough Christmas cards. I love it all and I loved it all from the very beginning. I get ready for Christmas all the way up to Christmas Day and then... I stop. <BR> <BR> But I don't think Ma... Sun, 14 Dec 2014 09:40:26 EST I Ache, Therefore I Am - Missing Mama at Christmas I have three friends who lost their mamas this same year that I was made an orphan. Each of us is facing our first Christmas without this essential hub. If they ache as much as I do there must be a whole lotta achin' goin' on right now. And yet - these ladies had such magnificent mamas - almost as pinnacle-like as mine - that they have to also be having the most wonderful Christmas memories floating to the surface. I thought I'd try to list some of mine so that I have them down on virtual ... Fri, 12 Dec 2014 11:07:50 EST The Brains Wrap Up Thanksgiving On la! Here it is December 1 already and already it seems like I'm running late. I better check in on what's going on with The Brains. <BR> <BR> * * * * * * * <BR> <em>43</em> Hey. Hey there. Wake up. <BR> <BR> <em>18</em> Zzzzzzz Zzzzzzzzzzzz <BR> <BR> <em>43</em> (shoving a shoulder) I know you're awake. Stop faking. <BR> <BR> <em>18</em> (starting up) Huh? Whazzup? <BR> <BR> <em>43</em> It's December 1st! Already! We haven't any plans. What are we going to do!?! <BR> <BR... Mon, 1 Dec 2014 07:01:15 EST What's Your Passion? A recent blogpost by 2BDYNAMIC poses the question "What are you willing to sacrifice?" and she talks about her reaction to people who always seem to have an excuse for why they "can't". <BR> <BR> <link><BR>urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=5820689 </link> <BR> <BR> You know - those folks, which I'll admit has sometimes included me, who say "I want to exercise but it's too cold and I hate gyms" or "I want to eat healthy but people keep pushing food at me" or... Sat, 22 Nov 2014 06:13:43 EST The Brains and Those Boots. An RB/LB conversation. Goodness Gracious. There's quite a ruckus going on inside my head. I think The Brains are going at it. Let's listen in. <BR> <BR> <BR> * * * * * <BR> <BR> (The sound of things being kicked over, crashes and shatters, growls and even maybe some muttered curses float into the air) <BR> <BR> <em>43</em> Hey hey! What's going on here-Hey! Watch it! (ducks out of the way of a flying object) <BR> <BR> <em>18</em> (snatching a pillow and throwing it after the hairbrush) Grrrrrrrr! ARRRRRG... Wed, 19 Nov 2014 06:50:05 EST That Glittery Color Chart Has Me Halfway To Goal So I've been playing with the glitter pens and my chart for a week now and I've earned 51 points - which is nice in and of itself because I'll soon be able to get my new camera. But there are added benefits to having this little visual - unexpected ones that are a real treat. <BR> <BR> I'm fully aware that visual cues and reminders are a powerful incentive. For some reason I've never been able to make a vision board - though I've read lots of testimonies about their efficacy and bought lots... Fri, 14 Nov 2014 06:40:13 EST The Brains Whispering on a Sunday Morning - a RB/LB conversation <em>43</em> Shhhhhh! She'll hear us <BR> <BR> <em>18</em> (giggling) yeah. and then she'll tell us to wait <BR> <BR> <em>43</em> I know, but I can hardly keep it quiet <BR> <BR> <em>18</em> Is it really working? <BR> <BR> <em>43</em> I think so. Look here at the chart <BR> <BR> <em>18</em> Oooooo pretty colors. I love those glitter pens <BR> <BR> <em>43</em> Shhhh! You know she'll say it's too soon to start bragging and all that stuff about counting chickens befo... Sun, 9 Nov 2014 06:55:44 EST The Brains Weigh In On November Plans - A LB/RB conversation I've been feeling pretty inspired to deal with the 5 lbs that have been weighing me down all year and that's usually a sign that The Brains are cooking up a plan or two. Let's listen in on what they have to say: <BR> <BR> * * * * * <BR> <BR> <em>43</em> Hey there, girlfriend. Look what I've got. <BR> <BR> <em>18</em> I can see – it's a Pile-0-Lists. <BR> <BR> <em>43</em> No no. It's just one list. It's an idea list. I've been thinking ... <BR> <BR> <em>18</em> Yeah. I know. I'v... Thu, 6 Nov 2014 17:42:02 EST Good Good Good good Eye-Dee-Ahs Every now and then an idea will drift across my mind and I'll get that feeling - that surge of joy, that tingle of happiness - and I'll know it's a really great idea. It's an idea I ought to act on. <BR> <BR> And then I forget about it. It sinks back into the lake of un-acted-upon ideas that might have made a difference. <BR> <BR> So why? Why do I ignore the things that fill me with a rush of gladness, only to bury my nose in some dreary, if necessary, routine. Oh. Well. No. Most of my ro... Sun, 2 Nov 2014 08:04:58 EST What?! November already? Where are we going with this? Yes, all you souls - it's your day and that means Christmas is only 55 days away. Hope you've been good sparkers. <BR> <BR> So - what's the plan for November? Where do I want to go? Where do I want to be at the end of the month. For that matter - where do I want to be on January 1? 2050? LOL - not moldering, I hope. <BR> <BR> Seriously - It's time to make some plans because I feel naked without them and I'm sure not where I'd like to be at this exact moment. Last week I wore one of my fa... Sat, 1 Nov 2014 08:13:44 EST October Is Whizzing By Whew. It's the 26th of October already! Less than a week left of this busy month that always includes so many events - birthdays, conventions, an anniversary. And this year, all happening while we're short staffed at work and Mercury is in retrograde! <BR> <BR> As for the anniversary, usually I post a repeat story of How I Connected With Himself on my Other Blog. This year I forgot/didn't have time, but it's a sweet story and you can read it here: <BR> <BR> <link> Sun, 26 Oct 2014 08:31:50 EST At Least I Saved The Plan Grrr. I wrote a lovely RB/LB blog but it got eaten due to erroneous html (even though I am sure I did NOT put in any html. Computers. Bah. <BR> <BR> and of course you can never recapture a RB/LB conversation once it's lost. But those two brains of mine did come up with a plan to get back into my skinny clothes. I have a terribly busy schedule over the next 4 weeks with almost zero gym time. And the weight has been hovering between 4 and 6 lbs above my goal; just enough to make waistbands ti... Wed, 15 Oct 2014 07:21:22 EST It Gets Better <img src=""> <BR> I <em>26</em> Tim Gunn and I seriously <em>26</em> the message of the "It Gets Better Campaign". In fact - the message need not only be applied to sexual orientation. It's a message of hope for all the world in all its troubles - packed with the power of acknowledgement, patience, bravery and perseverance. <BR> <BR> For me, for this past month, it is one of the lifelines I've clung to - that certain and sure know... Sat, 4 Oct 2014 08:05:46 EST October 1st: a Right Brain/Left Brain conversation I'm having a bit of a hard time these days and not just because I'm grieving my mother's death. THAT is normal. Other stuff is crashing into my life and panic mode is setting in. The brains are really upset about this so let's peek in on them and see what they have to say. <BR> <BR> * * * * ** <BR> <BR> <em>43</em> Oh La! October 1 already and I don't have a plan or any goals or even any clever ideas! I just ... I'm not ready! Wait wait ... oh. <BR> <BR> <em>18</em> But .. no. Don't... Wed, 1 Oct 2014 06:40:51 EST Grieving Through The Week With Fashion Thoughts So I'm sitting here thinking "There's something evil about autumn coming and my mama isn't here to enjoy it with me" and immediately my brain kicks my heart and asks "What's evil about that? For that matter - when is the last time you enjoyed an autumn with your mama?" And I can't remember. And I don't know. About the evil that is. I guess it's evil because I want my mama. I want to go visit her. I want to laugh with her. I want to tell her risque jokes and then laugh wickedly till tears str... Sun, 28 Sep 2014 10:06:55 EST Mama. Oh Mama. In the grey dark of dawn, gentle hands began to minister to my little mama and with that human touch, she took a breath ... and then she slipped away. <BR> <BR> And with that snip the last thread that held her body here on earth was cut. My precious beautiful little mama - who had grown so tiny and so soft - has died. And how I will ever be able to pay tribute to the mama she was to me ... I haven't a clue. This cut is so deep that I'm not sure the words can bubble up through the loss. She l... Tue, 9 Sep 2014 05:48:26 EST Early Birthday Gift - And a Goal Met Early in the summer I set a new goal - to find an additional form of exercise to add to my routine. No - to add to my life. I love the gym. I love the stationary bike. I love the elliptical. I love weights and strength training. But I wanted more. I wanted some exercise that was more like play or sports; though the problem with me and sports is that ... ugh. competition. Bleh. Yuck. I mean - let's just take all the fun out of movement, activity and exercise. Let's just coat things with words... Mon, 1 Sep 2014 09:23:01 EST The Year Without A Summer No doubt about it, I'm an autumn baby. My birthday is in September (I like to celebrate all month long) and I live in the south - in the muggy buggy sleepy swampy coastal land of Virginia. Secretly ... well, not really all that secretly ... I am proud that I can endure a tidewater Virginia summer. But most of all I have always been glad to see those mosquitoey days draw to a close. I can't wait for the crisp bite of a north wind, the clear blue of a humidity free sky - I even like the song of... Sat, 23 Aug 2014 08:38:29 EST Sea Change - a LB/RB conversation A sudden shift in the universe has lifted the stress off of my shoulders. A potential family issue melted away like ice in the summer and a new county employee came by with an idea for a cooperative project that really pumped me up. It's got The Brains whispering excitedly. Wanna hear? <BR> <BR> * * * * * <BR> <BR> <em>18</em> Whoa. Was that a victory last night? <BR> <BR> <em>43</em> Shhh. Don't talk so loudly. I think it was but we don't want to tempt fate. <BR> <BR> <em>18</em... Fri, 8 Aug 2014 07:01:47 EST The Brains Just Chatting In looking for something else deep in my blog archives I found the first post I'd ever made from The Brains. I hadn't realized I'd been doing this quite so long - but then - in my 60's now I tend to forget just how long ago something happened. It ALL seems like long ago. <BR> <BR> Anyway, rereading the first Right Brain/Left Brain conversation woke them up and now they're chatting. Let's listen in: <BR> <BR> <BR> * * * * * <BR> <BR> <BR> <em>18</em> Hey look at this! A record of our fi... Tue, 5 Aug 2014 07:57:44 EST The Brains Work Something Out for August - an RB/LB conversation I hear the brains chattering. Sounds like they have some issues. Let's listen in. <BR> <BR> * * * * * <BR> <BR> <em>43</em> Hey. It's August 2. Don't you think it's time we wrote something? <BR> <BR> <em>18</em> Why are you always picking on me! Go away. Waaaaaaaahh <BR> <BR> <em>43</em> Yeah. I thought so. <BR> <BR> <em>18</em> You thought so, you thought so, you thought so. <BR> <BR> <em>43</em> Yeah. Now I know for sure. Something's wrong. Spit it out. <BR> <BR> <em>18</... Sat, 2 Aug 2014 10:18:35 EST A Summer Bike Ride with pictures Summer always looks so long and carefree, stretching out across the calendar when you hang your new one in January. Alas, when it actually gets here it can zip by in a twinkling, leaving you sitting by the curb in September wondering "Wha happened?" <BR> <BR> I work in a public library and we are busier than a one armed paper hanger in June, July and August. It takes a concerted effort on my part to participate in summer as well as to serve the needs of all those others seeking summer enjo... Sat, 26 Jul 2014 07:56:39 EST Right Brain and Left Brain Make July Plans (well, LB does, anyway) It's that time again - time to make my monthly resolutions. I'm pretty durn tired after the push of the past few weeks and the days at work in summertime are chaotic even when they're quiet. So I thought I'd let my two brains take charge of the July resolves. Let's listen in on them now. <BR> <BR> <em>43</em> So whadaya think about 2014 so far? <BR> <BR> <em>18</em> I don't think. I feel. You're always forgetting that. <BR> <BR> <em>43</em> I blame it on summertime. Even a pleasan... Tue, 1 Jul 2014 07:09:44 EST Itty Bitty Update on those Itty Bitty Bites I've been at this project, trying to eat EVERYTHING, meals AND snacks, using itty bitty bites, for 15 days now. At first I did it with gritted determination. Not grim determination, since it was sort of fun to see if I could do something 100% of an allotted time, and not gritted teeth because ... well, you can't eat at all if you grit your teeth. <em>246</em> <BR> <BR> Okay, sorry, the goof in me is leaking. <BR> <BR> Anyway - dainty bites do not come naturally for me and often I hav... Wed, 11 Jun 2014 06:46:11 EST June Resolutions and the Itty Bitty Bite Report (with pictures) Oh la - June already. I want to shout "WAIT! STOP! I'm not done with May yet!" <BR> <BR> Only we don't get that chance. <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> And it's not that I am not looking forward to June. I just need a little more time to finish May. June is the last month of the fiscal year and I have to scramble to make sure I spend all my library budget but not spend a penny more than my library budget. And I need to do it, or at least ... Sun, 1 Jun 2014 12:44:09 EST Itty Bitty Steps Whew. What a sweet long weekend of rest and sunshine, conversations and peacefulness. <BR> <BR> And indulgences. <BR> <BR> The scale is my friend this morning, but I feel sluggish and I KNOW I downed a lot more sugar than usual - a lot more sugar than is healthy. How do I know? Because my tummy is saying "ugh - don't put anything into me." <BR> <BR> And it will be easy to eliminate the sugar. Even as I ate that fudge I knew it was a mistake. I was trying to eat my way into feeling like a ... Tue, 27 May 2014 06:55:27 EST Why I Read Your Blog The BACK STORY: <BR> <BR> A year ago I reached my goal weight and weighed in at my Weight Watcher meeting within the goal range (2 lbs) for 9 fabulous months in a row! woo woo. So proud of me. Still so proud of that. <BR> <BR> Since Christmas, though, and TheHeartAttack, and the serious cold weather, and the Bad Employee I Had To Fire, and the death of a cousin, and the New Administration with its New Rules, and the rotator cuff injury - you know - since life tossed me a basket full of lem... Sat, 24 May 2014 08:47:09 EST