BELLASPARK07's SparkPeople Blog BELLASPARK07's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community A Learning Weekend.... <img src=""> <BR> <BR> On Saturday, my husband and i had a date afternoon....i was almost embarrassed at how much i was looking forward to spending time with my husband, just the two of us. He is on his own weight loss journey, quietly making his changes, and doing a great job of it. I am so proud of him; he is truly a kind man, honest, works hard for our family and loves us. <BR> <BR> We decided to have a 'free' day, once a week, o... Tue, 8 Jan 2013 09:54:17 EST Feeling hopeful.... <img src=""> <BR> ....which hasn't been the case the past few months. It feels good, though, to feel hopeful. It feels as though a door has been cracked open just a bit and the light is shining through that crack...just enough to make me hang on and be hopeful that all the things i have learned through Spark and on my own will finally come together for me and i will not only 'get it' but put together but live it. <BR> <BR> Like so man... Wed, 2 Jan 2013 11:45:44 EST Be A Girl Scout.... <img src=""> <BR> ....and be prepared. If anything has contributed to my not being at goal, it would be how I don't practice follow thru by being prepared for my day food-wise. I don't take the time to plan; and if I do, I don't follow thru.....which then leaves me totally unprepared for my day. <BR> <BR> If I don't have a plan, I will continue to fail. <BR> <BR> If I don't follow thru, I will continue to fail. <BR> <BR> I am tired... Tue, 1 Jan 2013 19:32:04 EST Begin...again. <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Not knowing where else to turn, I am here to begin again. <BR> <BR> I am tired of being tired. <BR> <BR> I am so very tired of being tired. <BR> <BR> I have found my rock bottom and have no where to go other than up from this point. <BR> <BR> I can't go any lower. <BR> <BR> I have an amazing husband. <BR> <BR> I have a beautiful daughter. <BR> <BR> But I am existing at this weight and use it as an excuse to ... Sun, 30 Dec 2012 01:04:06 EST Temper.... <img src=""> <BR> One of the things i try not to do is yell and lose my temper at my daughter. I still remember how it felt to be yelled at at a young age (it's a Spanish thing, i think....) and it felt horrible to have someone so much bigger than me yell at me. <BR> <BR> I lost my temper about an hour ago at my little daughter. <BR> <BR> She is sleeping now, hands tucked under her little chin like she is saying her prayers. <BR> <B... Mon, 26 Mar 2012 19:49:22 EST A Very Long Weekend.... <img src=""> <BR> Note to self: Never, ever, EVER let your husband go to Costco alone and hungry. Trust me on this one, folks. He came back with more garbage (read: cupcakes, bagels, etc) than either one of us need. While i can blame him for bringing it to the house, i can't blame him for me eating two (sigh) carrot cake cupcakes. I should have followed my first instinct and thrown those freakin' cupcakes in the trash as soon as i saw... Sun, 25 Mar 2012 20:27:58 EST Re-Sparking.... <img src=""> <BR> My Emma <BR> <BR> ....again. You would think that it would be easier to just keep "the Spark" alive instead of letting it burn out, yes? And yet, it seems i haven't learned this yet. I am thinking that perhaps i should just set my self on fire each morning so this won't happen again. <BR> <BR> It is scary to look back and to see how long i've been talking about getting healthy. I seem... Thu, 22 Mar 2012 11:48:32 EST "If only......" <img src=""> <BR> I seem to start every sentence with these words.... <BR> <BR> "If only.....i wasn't fat, i would go out more." <BR> "If only.....I wasn't in ugly clothes, i would make more friends." <BR> "If only.....I would loose the rest of this weight, i would be happy." <BR> "If only.....I would have a flatter stomach, i would feel better." <BR> "If only.....I didn't have a chubby face, i would be prettier." <BR> "If only.....I wasn't... Fri, 31 Jul 2009 16:01:49 EST It's a dirty job.... <img src=""> <BR> ....but somebody has gotta do it. <BR> <BR> Actually, trying to get healthy isn't really a dirty just sometimes feels like it. It sometimes feels like a overwhelming, tiring, unattainable kinda goal. And of course, it's only taken me oh, say a year or two, to figure out why i sometimes feel that way. <BR> <BR> It's because i have no patience. None. Zip. Nada. None. <BR> <BR> "But you'll appricate your h... Fri, 10 Jul 2009 15:36:32 EST Happy Second Family Day to us! <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Two years ago today, i became Emma's Mommy. <BR> <BR> What a beautiful day it was...and one that i can recall every moment of. How blessed i am to be this little one's Mommy! Fri, 10 Jul 2009 15:36:18 EST The "Twenty Reasons" List <img src=""> <BR> 1. Participate in a 5k...and get the t-shirt! <BR> 2. Go rock climbing without worrying if the rope will hold me or not. <BR> 3. Be comfortable in a restaurant (and not worry about what others think...) <BR> 4. Shop in ANY store i was to shop in. <BR> 5. Look in my mirror and recognize myself again. <BR> 6. Chase after Emma and not give up till i catch her! <BR> 7. Walk up a long flight of stairs and not get winded. ... Sun, 28 Jun 2009 14:10:48 EST Movin' along.... <img src=""> <BR> ...and it's going well. I am surprised, but i think i know what the secret is: <BR> <BR> To not do this journey alone. <BR> <BR> My workout buddy has been such a good thing for me. To share with her how i am about food, to listen to her share, to know that she is counting on me to show up at the Y, to understand that she and i are fighting the same battle of getting healthy for not only our children, but for ourselves.... Sun, 14 Jun 2009 05:25:13 EST A Work-Out Buddy! <img src=""> <BR> Oh, yes....i do have one. Finally! And i never really thought that it would make that much of a difference, but it does. I met Melinda through my MOPS group and she lives about 10 minutes from me. Which thrilled me when i found out as i felt that i had moved so far away from my other MOPS friends. <BR> <BR> She has a little boy who is just a bit younger than Emma.....and she joined the Y where i'm a member. How c... Mon, 8 Jun 2009 21:56:38 EST A "friendly" challenge <img src=""> <BR> I'm competitive. So is my husband. And so....i came up with the idea of he and i doing a type of "Biggest Looser" thing for the next five months-till the beginning of November. <BR> <BR> Great idea, right? One would think so.... <BR> <BR> We had a kick-off weekend where we ate waffles for breakfast, pizza for lunch and homemade (yes, by me!) pot roast for dinner. Oh, and a small bag of M&Ms for dinner. And i made b... Mon, 1 Jun 2009 14:09:15 EST Has it been THAT long? :( <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Wow. <BR> <BR> I'm not even sure where to start. <BR> <BR> Emma is now two, we've moved to another house, sold the other one, done vacations as a family. I've sparked, sputtered, sput, and re-sparked~i'm beginning to really understand that it's a process much like twirling. You know, how have to really start off fast, go to medium speed and then hold your speed to twirl. It's really just like Sparking... <BR> <B... Thu, 28 May 2009 14:33:19 EST A better day....for ladybugs! It's been a better day today; which is kinda a surprise as it's a Monday. <em>211</em> <BR> <BR> Yesterday, we dressed Emma in her Halloween Ladybug costume and as i was taking photos of her, i suddenly realized that it's so important for me to be here. It's important for me to be healthy so i CAN be here for her. I have to teach by example...and i can't teach it if i don't do it. <BR> <BR> And so, i'm taking my "do-over" pass seriously, one step at a time.... Mon, 13 Oct 2008 14:47:13 EST Can i have a "do-over" pass? I'm back. <BR> <BR> Slowly...but surely, i'm back. I'm not sure what happened, why i felt the need to take a long break from blogging, logging and keeping up with my Spark Buddies, but i did. Of course, in the process of this 'break' of mine, i've added a few pounds that i didn't need to add. But it's a new day; and i think that i can give myself a do-over pass without beating myself up. I've re-done my Spark page with some new photos and background that i've taken to get me ready for my... Fri, 10 Oct 2008 15:27:33 EST Stalling out... I've been MIA much to do and not nearly enough hours to do it in. I've also stalled with my weight loss...but i'm proud that i haven't thrown in the towel due to my stall! I'm still on my quest to learn to run and that has been going much better. <BR> <BR> What have i been doing? <BR> <BR> Well, we've been house hunting. <BR> <BR> For many reasons, we have been house hunting. And anyone who has been house hunting can sympathize with me as my husband and i, well, we house '... Mon, 28 Jul 2008 20:05:59 EST Happy Family Day to Us! Today has been an emotional day for me. To celebrate our "One Year Home With Emma", i went through photos that i had taken of our trip, of our homecoming, of our first day as a family in our home. I have tons of photos; first stroller walk that day, first meal that i made as a Mommy, first nap photos of Robert with Emma. It was a magical time for us and continues to be. I now understand how it feels to be a mother. Folks can explain it to you, you can read about it, but until you are a mothe... Sun, 13 Jul 2008 15:02:15 EST Learning to run... I did my walking/running/jogging at the nature trails later than i usually do this morning. It's no secret why i go at 5 am-there is pretty much no one on the trails to see me. Oh, there are the serious runners on the trails but they are so into their run, i hardly think that they notice me, huffing and puffing and sweating along. Which is a good thing; perhaps one day i'll let the realization that folks at the park are not concerned or thinking to themselves "My God, here she comes again!... Fri, 11 Jul 2008 15:14:17 EST Thinking of Andrea... A few days ago, my friend Melissa sent me a link to this blog that was being written by a woman with breast cancer. Not just any kind of breast cancer, but a specific kind called Inflammatory Breast Cancer which if you're going to get breast cancer, is the type of breast cancer you don't want as it's often aggressive, lethal and incurable. I didn't go to the blog immediately, but hung on to the link for a day or so...and finally went to visit. It is one of the most honest, straight from the h... Tue, 8 Jul 2008 17:29:34 EST "What is that?" My husband will kill me if he finds out my "Funny Blog" for the MOPS Challenge is about him, lol... <BR> <BR> While we were on vacation, i wanted to go to the pool. Emma was napping so Robert said for me to go ahead and enjoy the pool~that he would take a nap and watch over Emma. It had been a cute day with Emma as she learned to take off her diaper all by herself and proudly prance around in the buff giggling. Too cute to watch, and of course, i have photos of all of this for later use, ... Wed, 2 Jul 2008 16:34:14 EST Thanksgiving Plans!! Since it seems that we will be without family visiting for the upcoming holidays, we've decided to do something different. Well, okay, "i" am doing something different. I'm going to run in "The Turkey Trot" which is a 5K that our town has every year. I needed something to concentrate on so i wouldn't be sad about who is coming or who isn't coming or who doesn't know or who can't figure it out if they are coming or not. Robert has suggested that we go to Gulf Shores for Thanksgiving or maybe e... Mon, 30 Jun 2008 16:17:13 EST A Sputtering Spark.... I've been having a tough time since coming home from vacation. I haven't figured out why yet, though....i'm not logging my food like i should, i have to literally drag myself out of bed in the mornings to go do the nature trails, i have to force myself to drink the water i know i should drink, i have to talk myself into 'sparking'. I had gotten to the point where all of this was becoming second nature so i'm not sure what in the world is going on; i did fine on vacation so i'm truly puzzled... Thu, 26 Jun 2008 16:19:36 EST Spark's Daily Reflection.... Every day i get the Spark Daily Reflection in my email box. Some days, well, i read and delete and some day, like today, i find a keeper. This one i received today is a keeper: <BR> <BR> Blazing your own trail..... <BR> <BR> History is written all around you every day. It may not be history that makes the college textbooks, but it's your history just the same. Do you make your own history? Or do you endure the life that others make for you? When you choose a direction and dedicate yoursel... Sat, 21 Jun 2008 12:13:19 EST Hmmm.... I'm on vacation and have sworn off my computer and my cell phone for the entire vacation. I'm now on day 6....and here i am, on my laptop. My cell phone, however, remains off. Tonight i felt the need to blog, though... <BR> <BR>'s been a good vacation thus far. Of course, traveling with a now 16 month old is a new experience for us. Robert and i are use to packing a bag and taking off. Those days of that kind of travling , lol, are gone forever. For a ten day vacation, we rente... Tue, 17 Jun 2008 20:55:35 EST Another Recipe Experiment I picked up a recipe at my last WW meeting last Saturday. I have to admit, it looked a little odd~or maybe i should say that the ingredients looked a little odd! But it involved a crock pot and just adding the ingredients so i'm all for easy so it was a go! <BR> <BR> Here's the recipe and my suggestions for some of the things i would change: <BR> <BR> Crock Pot Salsa Chicken <BR> ~Servings 6; Points per serving 5 <BR> <BR> Ingredients: <BR> 6 boneless, skinless chicken breast <BR> 1 cup ... Wed, 11 Jun 2008 12:36:22 EST A Heavy Heart.... Through blogging and online adoptions groups, i've gotten to "know" many people. Although we've never met face to face, i know details about their families, their lives, their feelings. It's such a privilege to be invited into someone else's life, to get to know them in ways that you normally wouldn't. I've learned to laugh with my online blogger friends, giggle at something funny that has happened in their lives, cheer them on as they also loose weight and get healthy, see photos of their ch... Fri, 6 Jun 2008 12:30:53 EST "Add Steps to Subtract Pounds" the article that i read on pedometers for our MOPS Challenge. Here is the article copied from Coach Nicole: <BR> <BR> "Researchers from the University of Tennessee asked overweight women to clip on pedometers to track their steps. They divided these women into two groups. One group was told to aim for 10,000 steps a day (the common recommendation considered to be "active"), while the second group was told simply to walk briskly for 30 minutes, most days of the week (a common—but minim... Thu, 5 Jun 2008 12:12:07 EST Watching Emma grow.... Today was a big, big day for Emma and i. Robert and i decided that it was a good idea to enroll Emma in a "Mother's Day Out" program at a local church so she could get to play with other children in a different setting. At this point, Emma may be an only child, so exposing her to other children and learning to play with other children seems like a good idea. Okay, it SOUNDS like a good idea and i'm sure it is from Emma's point of view....but from mine? I feel like i left my heart back at the ... Tue, 3 Jun 2008 11:09:42 EST A boat with no paddle...or how to eat 2 bagels without blinking. The word "binge" can strike fear into most folks who are trying to navigate through their new, healthy lifestyle. The word brings so many emotions along with it-fear, sadness, angry, tears, resignation, joy, euphoria (very short lived, btw....) and a sense of failure. Having been a member of WW before, i've seen and been a part of binging. And it's not been pretty. And the damage can be shocking and can mentally set one spiraling downwards.... <BR> <BR> So this time, i had a a "plan". I... Sun, 1 Jun 2008 11:02:57 EST Yucky, Yucky....but a new recipe! I ate something, i think, that didn't agree with me on Memorial Day. The hubby picked up burgers to grill, Lay's light potato chips and a dang apple pie. I had a burger on a bun, a few chips and a VERY small piece of the apple pie....and a few hours later? Yikes....i don't know if it was the burger (i've not eaten red meat in a long time) or the bun or the chips or that pie....but whatever it was, let's just say it's been a very long almost 3 days now. While i would normally be excited ab... Wed, 28 May 2008 12:19:43 EST Run for a Cupcake! I'm working on this week's MOPS Challenge, so yesterday, after playing and running with Emma in the yard and looking at ladybugs (which are so neat to look at when you look at them through the eyes of a 15 month old!) i decided to make some cupcakes for a member of my adoption support group who had outpatient surgery a few days ago. I though it would be fun to take Emma with me to deliver them-it's never to early to start showing a child how to take care of friends and neighbors even if it j... Fri, 23 May 2008 07:04:50 EST A Good Week.... I had a good week....not that it didn't have challenges and panic moments (like when our "weekend" guest came two days early and stayed a day longer) but it was overall a good week. I really do enjoy having company-our families have not been good about visiting us so it's nice that some of our friends have stepped in to be our 'family'. I think that they enjoyed themselves with us and i hope that they will visit again during the summer. <BR> <BR> We also went to visit a church this past S... Mon, 19 May 2008 19:36:27 EST Do you know what you're doing? "Do you know what you're doing?" a voice whispered in my ear. <BR> <BR> It is a question that through my life i've heard whispered in my ear. Usually in times of self doubt is when i hear this question and it's usually followed with the "Are you smart enough to know what you're doing?" and many other self defeating questions usually follow. I usually have been able to talk myself through these moments and through the years, the questions was whispered to me less. As i was growing up, this... Fri, 9 May 2008 13:07:52 EST Another MOPS Challenge! Woo-Hoo! Yup, another MOPS Challenge done!! I did really well with this one; at WW i lost .2 (yeah, that's right, lol, .2) but you know what? It's a LOSS and im on a streak. I've lost for the past 7 weeks and that makes me happy! I truly can't aske for more than that....okay, maybe i COULD, but i'm not! <em>185</em> <BR> <BR> I really enjoy these challenges....i'm so glad that Jane puts them together each week. The challenges help keep me on track and that's a good thing. <BR> I don't win, lo... Mon, 5 May 2008 11:28:36 EST WOO-HOO!! A new cookbook!!! I love cookbooks. Love them. I really love cookbooks with great photos that actually show what the food is suppose to look like when it's done. Of course, some of these cookbooks that i have aren't exactly 'every-day-kinda-cookbooks" meaning that the recipe would take a lot longer than a Mommy of a one year old has time to do. My love of cookbooks goes back to my Mother; we would trade cookbooks and flip though new ones together. When she was sick and bed ridden, we would often watch the... Thu, 1 May 2008 12:35:37 EST Who me? You want me to do what? I suffer from the "Sure! I can/help/do/take care of that" syndrome. Usually, i'm happy that i was able to help someone and i seem to get much more out of what i've done than what i've given. It's also lead me to do more sometimes because i know that with only one child, well, i'm able to do more than someone with a larger family. And who am i trying to kid? It's been fun helping, too! I've brought meals to families, baked cupcakes, ran errands, sent truly makes your soul fill... Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:31:33 EST A yummy recipe! At my last WW meeting, we had a leader who was covering for the regualar leader. I thought that Janet was fantastic; she was funny, encouraging, had stories about her own +65 pound weight loss and how she's kept it off for 6 years now and she brought recipes to hand out. Apparently she does this at all of her meetings...i tried one of the recipes that she passed out last night and WOW. It was REALLY good...and even better? <BR> <BR> IT WAS EASY!!! <em>244</em> <BR> <BR> Here's the r... Tue, 22 Apr 2008 12:30:30 EST ahhh, it's Friday's thoughts! So happy that it's Friday! It's not that we have a lot planned, it's just a different pace and i relax a little. I think that i take my "job" as a Mommy a bit too serious some days (okay, most days!)....Robert is the "fun" one, i'm afraid. He's the "let's-go-down-the-slide" Daddy and i'm the "that's not a little girl slide" kinda Mommy. No one ever mentioned to me before becoming a Mommy that there were so many "dangers" that i needed to "protect" my daughter from. Can you tell which on... Fri, 18 Apr 2008 17:15:47 EST Another MOPS Challenge Done! :) Another MOPS Challenge done! The exercise part, of course, was the hardest for me. I'm waiting patiently for me to become a 'true' lover of exercise, but until that happens, i'm just going to concentrate on moving and not being like a tree and growing roots. Perhaps i need to look into things that i don't consider exercise for a bit: walking with Emma in her stoller at the park thru the trails or going with her and my husband to the park to play. I still think that structure is important... Mon, 14 Apr 2008 17:12:05 EST My Favorite Daily Posts..... Every morning, i receive a email from spark telling me that my favorite daily posts called "Rise and Shine Mommies" from a SparkBuddy have been posted. It has become my favorite thing to read in the mornings; although i rarely post a response (i have to ponder these things, lol) my day is better for reading it. Many of what i read in Ramona's posts or blogs have been scribbled in my motivational notebook for future ponderings. Some folks have coffee in the mornings, i read my friend Ramona... Fri, 11 Apr 2008 11:45:33 EST YAY!!! Sunshine!!! :) I do believe that spring is here! It's a beautiful day today outside; lots of sunshine and warm temps. A perfect day for the park....the park is such a great place to be when there are children around. <BR> <BR> I am getting the hang of this 'spark-thing'....i don't know if it's that i've finally grown up enough to understand that it's important to stop wasting time and do it or if i've finally learned the correct way to do it. Which ever it is, it seems to be working now. I also learned... Mon, 7 Apr 2008 14:00:15 EST Frustrated beyond belief.... My husband has been planning a trip to play in a poker tournament for a while. I was fine with it; he took Thursday off to stay home with Emma and i and to run my Honda into the shop for maintenance. Robert is a very good poker player but rarely plays in tournament because of work and well, he doesn't want to leave Emma. He asked me for us to go as a family, but going to a poker tournament with a now walking one year old just didn't seem wise. He left very late Thursday night after we had... Sat, 5 Apr 2008 10:49:58 EST If your happy and you know it..... I had a very good week thus far....while there is distance to go in this journey to a healthy life, it is slowly coming together. I have re-vamped my food choices (i've cut out my morning peanut butter and toast and replaced it with Kashai and fruit or oatmeal; i've taken to eating spinach salads at lunch with lots of fresh veggies and fruit and i've lighten my dinner meals) and that has seemed to have helped. I've also taken to eating slowly and putting my fork down while eating. The soda... Wed, 2 Apr 2008 17:42:50 EST MOPS CHALLENGE March 24-March 30 It's been an interesting week.....and i think, just maybe, i'm finally going to get the hang of this new lifestyle of mine. For some reason, i feel calm. Like i know what i need to do and i'm ready to do it and i know that i am going to do it; this is different as i seem to be in a panic most days trying to keep on track. But yesterday, well, it just seemed to have come together automatically: i had the breakfast that i had planned (Kashai and bluberries w/milk), a snack of 1 oz of almonds... Mon, 31 Mar 2008 12:43:17 EST French Women Don't Get Fat Well, another book review. I'm not quite done with this book, but i have to say, it's becoming one of my favorite books very quickly. From the few recipes in the book to explaining how the author learned to eat after gaining weight while i'm America, well, it's just a great read. Of course, some recipes took me to the Publix produce center because i had no idea what a leek looked like. Really, i didn't....after giving up becasue i had wandered the entire produce area 4 times and it didn'... Fri, 28 Mar 2008 13:47:18 EST Disappointed.... I usually don't try to blog when i am in this kind of mood. I usually don't say anything productive and tend to use the time bashing myself. <BR> <BR> The reason for this mood? <BR> <BR> I ate like a woman on a fat-finding mission this weekend. <BR> <BR> It wasn't just one snack or one meal. It was a weekend that defies belief now that i have come off of my sugar high. It started on Friday night when we picked up my husband's brother from the airport. He wanted Mexican, so off we wen... Mon, 24 Mar 2008 12:37:28 EST Making Peace... I think that we all sometimes struggle in our relationships with our parents as we get older. We finally come to see them in "grown up" terms realizing that they, like anyone else, have faults. Parents are seldom perfect and i know this now, but i guess i hold parents to a higher standard and think that they should try to be as perfect as possible. (oddly, enough, i hold politicians to this same high standard....) Oh, of course, i thought all of these things BEFORE i became a parent. It's... Thu, 20 Mar 2008 11:48:31 EST Update on latest MOPS Challenge This weeks challenge went better than i expected; and i was suprised that the exercise/treadmill part of the challenge, well, that i actually enjoyed it. Jane really does an awesome job of putting together these challenges. They make me think and pay attention to what i'm suppose to be doing and that's exactly what i need. <BR> <BR> I do wonder some days if this journey of mine will always be a challenge, always be a struggle? Will i always have to watch every bite i put in my mouth? Will... Sun, 16 Mar 2008 21:05:53 EST