BEECHNUT13's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=BEECHNUT13 BEECHNUT13's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Level 2 Continued... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5678205 Overall, my Fastbreak was a success. Level 2 is turning out to be a failure. There's lag, and it's apparently taking days to respawn. <BR> <BR> Last Wednesday was 3 pieces of Jet's pizza. Woke up super bloated. <BR> <BR> Last Thursday - Sunday I was at my in-laws. The land of milk and honey. And candy, and chips, and cheesecake, and macaroni and cheese and au gratin potatoes from GFS (addictive plastic), etc... <BR> <BR> I have NOT weighed myself because I know I'm going to be bloated... Tue, 22 Apr 2014 21:19:41 EST Level 2 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5673078 I finished my Fastbreak, doing pretty well. I ate within my calorie range on 11 out of 13 days, and got 20+ sparkpoints on 12 out of 13 days. My 10+minute per day workouts weren't so hot. <BR> <BR> I now have new goals - <BR> Eating within my calorie range on 5/7 days per week <BR> Getting 10+ minutes of exercise per day <BR> Getting 30+ Sparkpoints per day <BR> Writing 20+ minutes per day on 4/7 days <BR> Eating 100+ grams of protein per day. <BR> <BR> So far, I have been doing ok. <B... Tue, 15 Apr 2014 20:53:00 EST Fastbreak - Day 7 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5664333 I'm 1 week in, and I'm doing all right. I have stayed within my calorie range every day (1400-1550, + 240 on days I lift, to accommodate a delicious shake to help repair my muscles). <BR> <BR> I've been getting 20+ Sparkpoints daily - typically by reading articles, in addition to the wheel. Some of the articles are awesome (learned more about Geocaching this week), and some of them seem really eating disorder inducing (reading anything about how to eat at a restaurant - it sounds really ... Fri, 4 Apr 2014 13:06:08 EST Fastbreak - Day 4 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5662087 I must have been super bloated when I weighed myself on Saturday morning, because I have lost SIX POUNDS since then. Even my rings are fitting better. And it's only been FOUR DAYS. WTF!? <BR> <BR> I'm not complaining. Seeing that big 200 was a little uncomfortable. <BR> <BR> I just got home from watching my friend Stephanie on Jeopardy! Tournament of Decades. In addition to being wicked smart, she's also a lot of fun. I'll be going to Manhattan with her in June for a conference, and I... Tue, 1 Apr 2014 20:56:05 EST Fastbreak - Day 2 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5660337 So far I'm on a roll. It's only day two, so there's that. But still! Two days! <BR> <BR> Today I got on the scale again. One of my plans is to weigh myself more often. The more I weigh myself, the better I am about things. I'm not really concerned with my weight so much as how my clothes fit, but checking in regularly is helpful. The scale said I was down about 2.5 lbs since yesterday. Guess I'm processing the food I ate on Friday - which included a donut, a breakfast sandwich, a bro... Sun, 30 Mar 2014 21:07:38 EST Where I Went http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5659427 So, I was missing for about 5 months. Last I left off, I stopped doing Drop 2 Sizes. I did Strongifts 5x5 for a little while in the interim, and then I started New Rules of Lifting: Supercharged in January. I just started Basic Training III yesterday and my quads are sad. <BR> <BR> I got a Fitbit in January to help me figure out how much energy I was expending each day. I aimed to eat at a deficit of about 500 per day so I could lose weight slowly and without too much struggle or depri... Sat, 29 Mar 2014 16:10:19 EST D2s Update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5537200 So... I was dreading my workouts. I hated following the meal plan. And I gave it six weeks. I initially lost a bit of fat, maybe (or bloat?) but after that - I just didn't want to do it anymore. It was making me crazy. <BR> <BR> And so my update for d2s - I'm quitting. I got 6 weeks in and decided it wasn't for me. <BR> <BR> What I hated most was that I missed the barbell. I did like that I could work out at home but it turns out I lost strength that I had from New Rules for Women. ... Sun, 10 Nov 2013 09:51:28 EST Drop Two Sizes Thermometer Jeans Update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5510933 Well, I tried on my thermometer jeans. I wasn't feeling too confident because, well - I'm not really restricting much. Week 1 I ate an average of 2400 calories/day. Week 2 was an average of 2300. This week, I am aiming for 1800-2100 calories/day with the hopes of averaging around 2200. <BR> <BR> I put them on, and they were still difficult to button, but it happened. My gut still hung over the top. I wasn't feeling too bad though - my mindset has changed more than anything else since... Fri, 11 Oct 2013 16:41:55 EST Drop Two Sizes Update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5505851 Well, I just finished my second week of Drop 2 Sizes yesterday. So far, it's going ok. The workouts are all right, though I do miss the big lifts. It has goblet squats (where you hold a dumbbell with two hands) and Romanian Deadlifts (where you don't put the barbell down - you take it below your knees and then snap back up), but they're just not the same. And 15 reps is a lot - especially on both sides of your body. It gets a little tedious. To break it up, I count to ten and then to fi... Sun, 6 Oct 2013 09:59:40 EST Tales of the Gym http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5497925 Here's the story: <BR> <BR> Forties or so dudebro at the Y yesterday morning is singing along with his headphones (to rap/hip-hop). Does some shoulder presses in the smith machine. Starts admiring himself in the mirror. Takes his shirt off. Starts taking selfies. Does another set of presses, this time without the shirt. Puts the shirt back on, continues singing. Keeps looking at me to see if I'm impressed. Ha - yes, I'm impressed with how awkward your douchery makes me feel, buddy. Then he s... Fri, 27 Sep 2013 16:06:04 EST Thermometer Jeans http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5496364 Rachel Cosgrove (author of Drop 2 Sizes, wife of my hero trainer, Alwyn Cosgrove) says that instead of weighing myself while doing D2S, I should instead use a pair of pants and try them on every 3 weeks. <BR> <BR> I have 2 pairs of pants. Both fit before I got pregnant. My grey work pants which I loooooove (and used to be baggy in the butt, actually) and my favorite jeans that I so badly want to fit into again. <BR> <BR> Both are a size 14. They're not small. But I am not expecting to ... Wed, 25 Sep 2013 22:27:02 EST Big Guns http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5495395 Here are my guns, courtesy of NROL4W: <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/7/7/l774230848.jpg"> <BR> <BR> The big turnout is... I am a lot stronger. My 1 rep max for deadlifts is 190lbs. Considering I started out with the bar, I'm pretty happy. My body looks better, even though I'm still the same size. My arms are smoother and more toned, although they're still big. My butt is still big, but it's higher and rounder. My legs are more muscular - I know this sounds funny, bu... Tue, 24 Sep 2013 22:46:10 EST Always More Drama http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5490625 First of all, here is a link to an Instagram video of my bunny, Willow. Oh my gawd, she is so FLUFFY!!! She kills me with her cuteness. And she's so sweet. <BR> <BR> http://instagram.com/p/eamMPcDNV7/ <BR> <BR> I am twitterpated over my bun. <BR> <BR> **** <BR> <BR> I've had a student in my class this semester who has been over the line several times. Once, we were talking about Freud's theory of humor. Students were supposed to write captions for different pictures. The student wrot... Thu, 19 Sep 2013 21:57:38 EST Big News! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5485946 1) Friday, I finished New Rules of Lifting for Women. I started on March 6th, and finished September 13th. I am so happy I stuck with it. It has been such an awesome journey, and I feel so much better about myself - even though my pants are uncomfortably tight. I mean. TIGHT. <BR> <BR> 2) I deadlifted 150 lbs on Friday to celebrate. Could have put more on the bar - as you see in the video, it was pretty easy to do a set at 150 - but I had the rest of the evil stage 7 workout: four supers... Sun, 15 Sep 2013 07:11:38 EST Missing Beechnut http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5483939 Here I am! <BR> <BR> I have been busy getting back to work, trying to make some progress on projects, and looking at bunnies. We are getting a bunny (or two) this weekend to replace the vacancy in our home since both ratties have died. <BR> <BR> Anyway, what's new... <BR> <BR> Well, I have ONE workout left of New Rules of Lifting for Women! I am going to finish STRONG tomorrow - with DEADLIFTS. My plan is to DL 150 or 155 lbs. I'm going to record it. In March I started with the 45... Thu, 12 Sep 2013 19:16:36 EST Face Plant http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5456926 Well, on Wednesday my older son took quite a spill on his roller blades. We told him not 10 minutes earlier that his brakes were gone. So he decided to go down the steepest hill in our neighborhood as fast as possible. With no gear. And lost control, and fell on his face. And his knee got scraped up a bit, too. <BR> <BR> I yelled at him about it on Thursday, after he was all cleaned up, etc.... I told him what he did was stupid and dangerous - especially without brakes. He said that ... Fri, 16 Aug 2013 08:32:35 EST Clunky Spark http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5451880 Thanks everyone for your encouragement in my last blog! It's hard to remain optimistic when I'm not getting smaller. I am getting fitter though. <BR> <BR> The other day I went to Kohl's. Well, you know how unforgiving the fluorescent lights are in fitting rooms, with those three-way mirrors. Anyway, I was changing into clothes (which were tight, by the way), and noticed that even though my legs are still basically the same size, I have less cellulite than I did before. Like, they were... Sun, 11 Aug 2013 15:31:26 EST On to Stage 6! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5447345 I have now reached Stage 6 of New Rules of Lifting for Women. The big goal of this stage is to prepare me to do a pull-up. I'm not getting there this time around - it's not that I don't have faith in myself. I'm actually 185 lbs. And I don't think I can deadlift that weight - using my entire body - so I doubt I'll be able to only use my lats and somehow lift all that. <BR> <BR> But that doesn't mean I'm not working on it. I got an excellent garage sale find: a pull-up bar made in 1994... Wed, 7 Aug 2013 08:29:08 EST Feeling Lonely http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5435751 My friends did the Warrior Dash and all had a great time, and I'm far away because I moved, and I miss them. I'm an hour and a half away, which isn't that far... but it's far enough that we can't really get together for a beer after work or something. And so I hardly ever see anyone. By anyone, I mean all of like four people. But they're awesome people, and I miss seeing them. <BR> <BR> One friend has been promising to visit for forever, but never does. I was told MAY, and then JUNE, ... Sat, 27 Jul 2013 23:18:43 EST I get my new phablet tomorrow!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5433628 I am so excited to get my new phone. I know it's ridiculous to get excited about a phone, but I got to pick it out myself. I usually got the free phone before, and my first nice smart phone was picked out and given as a surprise (an awesome surprise) by my husband and his family. But this phone I picked out myself, and I picked out the case. So... I'm excited. <BR> <BR> This must be what planned children feel like! Hahaha, just kidding. Well, maybe. <BR> <BR> Tomorrow is my last A wor... Thu, 25 Jul 2013 22:02:02 EST Sh*t people do to women. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5432292 On two different forums yesterday and today I have seen two different person accounts of twits at the gym treating other people badly: <BR> <BR> Found this yesterday: <BR> <BR> "I woke up feeling confident, curvy and sexy. I went to the gym as I often do. I am 43 and overweight by society and medical standards. I have also lost over 100 pounds, but strangers would never know that. I was standing in a hallway type area, looking at a class schedule hanging on the door to one of the classrooms... Wed, 24 Jul 2013 20:15:53 EST SO EXCITED http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5425005 I'm so excited because my mom is coming to visit me! She rarely visits, and she never stays the night - well, she is staying through Sunday (well, that's the original plan at least - I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much). <BR> <BR> I'm halfway through Stage 5 of New Rules of Lifting for Women and I'll be happy when it's over. I am not really a fan. Hopefully I'll like Stage 6 a bit more. I've heard Stage 7 is a killer - it's a lot of high reps with short rests. <BR> <BR> I tau... Thu, 18 Jul 2013 07:58:05 EST Stage 4 Progress Pics http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5422263 I took these almost two weeks ago. Since then, I've been eating a lot of crap, so I probably gained some chub. Meh, it will come off as quick as it came on. <BR> <BR> Instead of comparing to Stage 3 progress pics, I should compare them to Stage 2... because otherwise it's only a couple weeks and you can't see much difference anyway. So, below are my Stage 2 progress pics (end of May) and my Stage 4 progress pics (beginning of July), respectively, for each pose. <BR> <BR> <img src="http:... Mon, 15 Jul 2013 20:15:49 EST Backlash http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5416470 I posted the discussion question from my last blog onto the New Rules for Women FB page, and I immediately got a backlash. Not from the "regulars" on the site (who mostly agreed with me) but from people who I never see posting. And the backlash was interesting. <BR> <BR> The backlash was mostly how: <BR> a) The poster (me) obviously has food relationship problems <BR> b) I'm condescending because I gave my credentials <BR> <BR> I gave my credentials because I know what OCD is, and I'm n... Wed, 10 Jul 2013 09:00:33 EST Discussion Question http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5413466 I want a discussion about this. If it's upsetting to you, don't worry about it. <BR> <BR> I've seen this term tossed around in here quite a bit - "Eating clean." It has very OCD connotations to it to me (I have a Ph.D. in psychology). <BR> <BR> It's the trendier, updated version of "being good on my diet." I think it has stronger eating disorder/orthorexic vibes though. <BR> <BR> What does "eating clean" even mean? Washing your food first (haha)? Only non-processed food (and what do you de... Sun, 7 Jul 2013 17:50:21 EST Deadlift: 135 Lbs http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5409773 I used the Big Girl Plates today! This was a big deal for me - I've been working up to this. I remember when YOOVIE got her big plates what a big deal it was for her. And now here I am too. Boy, I miss YOOVIE. <BR> <BR> Anyhoo, I know I have a few lifting friends on SP - any suggestions or notes about what I am doing well would be appreciated. I feel like my shoulders are rounding and my butt isn't low enough, but I don't really know how to go about fixing those things - I am actively... Wed, 3 Jul 2013 15:12:37 EST Birthday Eve http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5407659 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/4/7/l47788002.jpg"> <BR> <BR> This is one of my favorite pics of Avery, taken when he was about 2.5 or so. <BR> <BR> I still need to get him a card and pick up some wrapping paper. We got him a Curious George collection book, a Thomas the Train collection book, a bug habitat (which he found! damn it!), a bug vacuum, and a bug microscope (but it's not too micro). I also signed him up for T-Ball today, which he'll start in a few weeks. And he ... Mon, 1 Jul 2013 16:24:16 EST Waiting out the Rain http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5406170 I have spent much of this week waiting out the rain. Every day it has stormed. Thursday it rained so hard and so fast (3 inches in an hour) that water came up through our crawl space in the basement, and there was a stream next to our house joining a river along the street which fed into a lake at the bottom of our street! Airin waded in the water and got the bottom of his shorts wet! <BR> <BR> We haven't had to water our plants though, which has been nice. <BR> <BR> Right now I'm wait... Sun, 30 Jun 2013 09:31:13 EST Iron Court http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5404880 This is the weight room at my YMCA. In a dark, dirty basement. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/1/l2141840895.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/5/0/l502083532.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> Someone wrote on the bottom of this wooden step that I use. It has inspired me to push hard more than once: <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/9/5/l950085687.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> There must have been an emergency at the gym last ... Fri, 28 Jun 2013 19:14:45 EST What's going on? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5398970 I've been a bit MIA lately: summer is here, and I have lots of excellent distractions. I've been playing Legend of Zelda: Link to the Past. I only have a few dungeons to go! My new game I got for my birthday, Spirit Tracks, kept freezing, so we exchanged it, and it took Game Stop awhile to get it in because they're idiots who don't know how to fill orders. Well, that's why they work at Game Stop, and not as an ER doctor, or a rocket scientist or something. No offense to people who work t... Sun, 23 Jun 2013 09:44:03 EST Stage 3 Progress (Pics) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5390599 First - thanks for all the great comments about my haircut, roses, rum, clothing choices, and birthday. My SP friends are the only reason I show up some days. <BR> <em>304</em> <em>247</em> <em>220</em> <BR> <BR> Well, here is my progress: <BR> <BR> My weight is up .7 lbs to 184.7 (AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!). <BR> <BR> My measurements haven't changed for the worse, so I'm not concerned about that anyway. And my body fat percentage is lower than last time, though it's partially... Sun, 16 Jun 2013 08:44:41 EST NEW New Haircut http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5385963 Well, I did it - I chopped it off! Here it is: <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/7/l1781510032.jpg"> <BR> <BR> My birthday was great, as you can clearly see by all of this rum: <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/4/l1438574112.jpg"> <BR> <BR> My roses have been blooming! These were cut from my great-grandmother's garden by my grandfather, who planted them at his house back in about 1992. He died in 2000, and his brother (who moved in), didn't r... Tue, 11 Jun 2013 15:00:51 EST Haircut Worries http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5380290 So, I looked in the mirror from a profile view the other night with my hair pulled up, trying to mimic the haircuts I'm interested in: <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/3/8/l384166098.jpg"> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/7/4/l740241345.jpg"> <BR> <BR> And when I looked at it in the mirror, I hated it. My neck and chin are too fat. The side of my face is too pudgy, and too much like the broad side of a barn. I have to lose a bunch of fat before ... Thu, 6 Jun 2013 11:55:00 EST Ah, Rest Days... I love You. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5378336 The first time I did Workout A of Stage 3, I could hardly walk for about three days. I did the workout again yesterday (second time through) and I feel great today. I'll be ready to do Workout B tomorrow! Woohoo! <BR> <BR> My eating is going well, too. I'm hoping to see some picture-progress as of next Friday when I'm done with Stage 3. Although... my birthday is Sunday. On Saturday I'll be going out to eat (I'm hoping for sushi, or the diner by my old house that I love and miss very m... Tue, 4 Jun 2013 19:22:38 EST Why Weight? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5377182 It's easy to get hung up on weight. It's called "Weight Watchers." We have "weight trackers" here on Sparkpeople. <BR> <BR> Well - here I am at 178 (March): <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/7/l1783227920.jpg"> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/1/l1163481901.jpg"> <BR> <BR> And here I am at 184 (May 24): <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/3/l1342662181.jpg"> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/0/l2014... Mon, 3 Jun 2013 20:16:34 EST Tough Week http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5375608 I have been kicking my own butt this week. <BR> <BR> Monday I was at my in-laws, and we headed home. <BR> <BR> Tuesday I ran a mile to see how it would go. I was expecting to be gasping for air, struggling, wanting to die, etc... Turns out, I ran the whole mile in under 12 minutes (which is my usual good time - I'm slooooooow). Felt very good, and could have continued, but I knew what awaited me on Wednesday and decided to save my legs. <BR> <BR> Wednesday I did Stage 3 Workout A in NROL4... Sun, 2 Jun 2013 13:19:22 EST Stage 2 Progress Pics http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5372207 Pre/post pics are paired. Top is from the end of stage 1 (April 17) and bottom is from end of stage 2 (May 24). Mind you, Stage 2 was supposed to be 2.5 weeks. I spent a week trying them out, went to my mom's for a few days where I ate and drank a lot, went to Chicago where I tried to eat well (I think I did a good job for being out of town), celebrated Airin's birthday, mother's day. I think my diet wasn't very good. That being said, although I made good use of all the food I was consum... Thu, 30 May 2013 06:56:11 EST BWM & Planks http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5371459 Today I did the Body Weight Matrix: <BR> <BR> 24 squats <BR> 12 lunges each leg <BR> 12 jump lunges each leg <BR> 24 jump squats <BR> <BR> It took me 4 minutes, so I rested 8 minutes then... <BR> <BR> I did it again. It took me 3:50. <BR> <BR> Oh man... it was exhausting. I can't believe I have to do it again. And again. And again. At least I didn't puke. My legs are killing me. <BR> <BR> I also had to do 3 90-second planks today. What WHAT? My first was 1:15, quick break, last... Wed, 29 May 2013 12:06:34 EST I can't believe how fat I am (with pics!) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5369388 Last night, I looked at pictures of myself that my MIL sent me. I got so sad and angry that I went to bed. I can't believe how fat I am. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/0/l2049224580.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/7/6/l765945408.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/3/2/l321269717.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/5/l1553196571.jpg"> <BR> <BR> These were taken yesterday:... Mon, 27 May 2013 14:22:26 EST Crossroads 2 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5367742 This is killing me. Killing. Me. <BR> <BR> I finished Stage 2 of NROL4w the other day, so yesterday I weighed myself and took pictures and measurements. <BR> <BR> I had not weighed myself in 37 days. It felt good to get away from the scale. It's a lying b*tch sometimes. But I had to weigh myself to calculate my BF%. <BR> <BR> I was up 2.4 lbs from last time, for a TOTAL of 184. <BR> <BR> F*CKING HEART BREAK. <BR> <BR> Pull it together - not a big deal. Let's plug some new numbers... Sat, 25 May 2013 16:54:32 EST The Ultimate Goal/Uncertainty http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5365829 I am strongly opinionated. If my waist size decreased at the rate my mouth ran, I would not be uncomfortable in my size 16 petite jeans. <BR> <BR> Yea, I'm feeling bad today about my body. Well, some of it. I feel good about my legs - they're looking pretty good, I think. But I'm feeling bad about the size of my mid-section. That's bothering me. I'm tired of my pants being tight, but I don't want to go up to another size. Because my self worth will decrease if I do that. Isn't that a... Thu, 23 May 2013 15:28:30 EST The Ultimate Goal http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5365090 What is my ULTIMATE goal? <BR> <BR> I've been thinking about that today. What is my REAL, ULTIMATE GOAL? <BR> <BR> Well... like most people here, I guess my ultimate goal is to lose fat (it used to be to "lose weight" but I am finding weight to be somewhat irrelevant). I don't like the way my body looks. It causes me some degree of distress. And so I want to change the way I look to become more appealing in some way. To whom, I'm not really sure. My husband finds me appealing, or at ... Wed, 22 May 2013 22:27:18 EST TDEEE http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5362574 (Total Daily Energy Expenditure Estimate) <BR> <BR> So, my pants are feeling a bit snug around the waist, which I am not too happy about. I know that I am looking better in other areas. My legs are less jiggly, and look better in shorts. My butt is higher, making my legs look longer. My shoulders are wider. I have less back fat. I actually have a little less arm jiggle as well, but mostly in my right arm (I'll be switching to some more dumbbells starting next week, which will help take... Mon, 20 May 2013 17:38:47 EST Feeling Good Again http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5360392 Hooray - Thursday and Friday I felt fantastic, after my run-in with whatever it was that I had on Monday and Tuesday. <BR> <BR> On Thursday, Airin said something like "One good thing about being sick is that our stomachs shrank from not eating, and we're a little thinner!" I was kind of sad that he thought that way. I was feeling a little concerned about being able to effectively do my workout on Thursday, considering I had very little calories, protein, fat, or carbs on Monday-Tuesday, an... Sat, 18 May 2013 17:08:10 EST Half Crap Week http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5358994 I tried to post this before, but my computer decided to restart without warning (Thanks, Windows!) and I lost a bunch of stuff. <BR> <BR> Mother's Day was good. <BR> Monday I deadlifted 105 lbs. <BR> Monday afternoon I felt sick and slept. <BR> Tuesday I felt sick but didn't sleep. <BR> Wednesday I visited my mom and got in an argument with her husband because I wanted to set up their patio furniture, and that was apparently very insulting. <BR> Thursday I successfully did a full set of fron... Fri, 17 May 2013 08:31:48 EST Votes are In http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5353509 I've been mulling it over. I'm not going back to the way things were. I'm not going to track everything I eat, live in restriction, etc. I did it for years, it got me nowhere, and I'm not doing it anymore. <BR> <BR> I said I was done with the Diet and Weight Loss Empire. And I'm done. <BR> <BR> I've chosen my path. I've left the crossroads behind. I'll whine, I'll fidget, I'll agonize, but whatever. I did all that before anyway. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com... Sat, 11 May 2013 22:20:39 EST Crossroads http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5352580 So, I'm finding myself at a crossroads. <BR> <BR> I'm trying to learn to chill the f*ck out and appreciate my body. I'm enjoying weight training, and making gains. I get a little better every single workout. Today, I did back squats with 65lbs - after doing 2 sets of front squat/push press better than I'd ever done. Every time, I bust something out - anything out - better than before. <BR> <BR> I feel good when I work out. I feel strong and confident. I drip with sweat. <BR> <BR>... Fri, 10 May 2013 21:37:48 EST Deadlift - 100 lbs http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5349912 Deadlift, 100 lbs at a deficit. First half look good, second half I had trouble with my form. Second set went a lot better. <BR> <BR> The guy in the background was deadlifting 135, but not setting it on the ground between reps. I don't know which is worse - not setting it down, or working at a deficit. In any case, I should be at 135 in a month or two. <em>23</em> <BR> <BR> Yesterday I went to Lowe's to look for seat cushions for our glider (really expensive - we should just make d... Wed, 8 May 2013 13:47:19 EST Oh, SparkPeople... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5348824 So, this picture popped up on my newsfeed today: <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/5/8/l588492744.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Wow... this has to be in the top five least helpful pictures SP has ever posted. Let's start at the top: <BR> <BR> The 8 Habits of Successful Dieters. <BR> -Don't go preaching your goddamned LIFESTYLE change, and then say "Successful dieters." What the hell is a "dieter?" Someone who has a diet? We all do. And I'm quite successful at eating as a matt... Tue, 7 May 2013 15:55:58 EST Another Great Resource http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5340415 I found another great resource, thanks to the ladies on the NRoL4W Facebook page. Nia Shanks, a trainer who has a site called "Lift Like a Girl" and a program called "Beautiful Badass". <BR> <BR> http://www.niashanks.com/ <BR> <BR> I'm currently committed to working through NROL4W, but her training plans are pretty rad and simple. I sort of wish I was dong them right now, but I'm going to see this thing through. <BR> <BR> I feel like I'm sort of stalled. This is supposed to be my rest... Tue, 30 Apr 2013 08:16:44 EST