BECCAJ98's SparkPeople Blog BECCAJ98's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Wedding Day <img src=""> <BR> This isn't going to be a long blog.....just enough to show a quick picture and to say I don't think I've ever loved the way I look as much as I did yesterday! Sun, 23 Oct 2016 10:09:00 EST Epiphany So I know I'm gonna get in trouble for blogging on my wedding day.....but I don't care. I hit 200# this week, which means since my high "known" weight, I'm down over 95# in 6 years. This means I have lost another adult human off of me. I know I have gone down a couple of sizes (16-18 to a 12), a cup size in my chest (had to buy new bras), and shirts fit me different. But last night when I'm rushing 100mph to get changed and out to wedding set up, I threw on a shirt I haven't had on since s... Sat, 22 Oct 2016 09:05:22 EST Wedding goal Calling this a goal was under 200# by my wedding which is tomorrow....well even with eating bad this week, 200 even.....I am going into wedding being where I've not been since JR high!!!! So I think I did it! I will not be weighing myself after tomorrow for at least 10 days. We are leaving on honeymoon that is a road trip from Central IL to the Gulf of Mexico and back.....with hiking and swimming in the middle!! Fri, 21 Oct 2016 12:10:46 EST Before and after I just read (and looked at) an amazing photographic journey of before and after pictures of extreme weightloss. I know what my body looks like after my small adult has been shed from this frame....and it's not pretty. (Especially during my one of my favorite hobbies). This woman lost twice as much as I have. When you are losing 100+ lbs it's much different than just 20 lbs. It's taking a human off of you....but leaves it's remains. Thu, 20 Oct 2016 15:12:39 EST Something lied to me you all know by know, the wedding is in 5 days. I have been desperately trying to get under 200. I have never been there (last time was Jr High). I wanted this wedding to be the start, in more than one way, of new things. That included me a new person under 200. I weighed on Sunday morning, 199.8!!!! Oh I'd never been more excited....except with everything else that happened over the weekend, I was in no mood to celebrate. So I decided that I would weigh today and get excited (s... Mon, 17 Oct 2016 18:52:26 EST Struggles How am I supposed to keep healthy when everything is falling down around me!?!?!? What is supposed to be happiest time of my life, the week before my wedding, has turned into a struggle. Hubs and I have been fighting...he's very depressed and taking it out on me. Then the bank decides to freeze all of our accounts because of stupidity from my ex husband. Apparently I will never be able to get away from what he did to me. The only thing I've eaten in two days is a few bites of pork, chocola... Sat, 15 Oct 2016 22:12:31 EST New hobby <img src=""> <BR> My hippie groom wanted tie dye at the a girlfriend of mine helped me do the tablecloths. I got hooked! I love having a hobby that isn't fitness related :) I do love those hobbies, but then my unwind time at home is playing Facebook games. Since I started this 10 days ago, I am so much happier. This was one shirt I did for a groomsman. And only my second batch of tie dye ever.....I ... Wed, 12 Oct 2016 08:37:04 EST Hungry I know I'm active....heck I average between 12 and 15 thousand steps in a day, and thats not if I go hike for hours. I eat a lot because I am so active, and I do still lose weight. But the last few days, I am hungry, I mean tummy grumble, feeling sick, hungry. Within a couple hours, my body wants more food. Drinking water makes it worse (not full feeling). I know this is part of my not making Wedding Day Goal......but i have tried everything and its not working! Tue, 11 Oct 2016 19:16:31 EST Dress fitting part 2 <img src=""> <BR> Little more off the top and I should have it next week 😀😀😀😀 But unfortunately I don't think that will make my wedding weight goal....I was only 2.2 # away, but have gained 1.8 back. I really want to be in 100's for the wedding. But 2.5 weeks away I don't think I can pull it off without starving myself. I have also gotten into not great habits this past week or so with trying to get ev... Thu, 6 Oct 2016 08:41:03 EST Dress fitting <img src=""> <BR> So......we gots a problem....the whole top half is too big. So we tucked and pinned and adjusted. I go back someday next week for another fitting. My $7 dress is costing me wayyyyy more but at least it'll be what I want and flattering 😊 Thu, 29 Sep 2016 21:00:39 EST Addiction and withdrawl Yesterday while cleaning my house (deep spring style due to upcoming wedding which means family in town....), I lost my addiction :(, my favorite tool, funnest activity tracker. It came out of its casing on my wrist. I loved that little thing....flashing lights when I reached 12,000, encouraging me to go that extra 10 or 1000 steps. And it's been 24 hrs since I've seen the little guy. Hubs thinks I can do without it...I'm not convinced I can. I do awesome at maintaining without o... Mon, 19 Sep 2016 18:21:20 EST It's not the diet and exercise I've been on this journey a long time. I've lost and maintained and lost some more, so I know a little bit about what works and doesn't. I hate reading some of the things people write because I know unfortunately it's not going to be a lasting thing. They will drop the weight and then put at least that much back on. IT IS NOT THE DIET AND EXERCISE! This journey is about making permanent lifestyle changes to be able to make healthy choices for a lifetime!! If you only make decisions for weig... Sun, 18 Sep 2016 16:19:50 EST Mini goal met As of this morning, I am officially less then my lowest before the gain from divorce started. <BR> That number is also lower than what I weighed in Jr High when I started seeing civilian doctors. <BR> It means that I am only 4# away from my goal for wedding in October!! <BR> I am ready to start playing in Onederland!! Sat, 17 Sep 2016 10:18:24 EST Stupid move...? Before I broke my foot 2 yrs ago, I was training to actually RUN a 5k. Well, crutches put a damper on that. Fast forward 9 months, released but tendinitis and arthritis has set into my hip. I'm unable to move some days. I trying running off and on but only able to do between quarter and half mile before hip gives out. Fast forward to 3 weeks ago, and I get severe shin splint. So been easing back into routine. I've been walking a nicely paved trail to minimize chance of injuries. My shins... Fri, 16 Sep 2016 18:53:33 EST Wedding dress <img src=""> <BR> Wedding is in just over 5 weeks....I tried on my dress for first time in almost a year....went from I can't move in it to whole thing has to be taken in. But....because of that....I get options with the alterations! So when we remove the elastic waistband I have always hated, we are putting in a crochet ribbon band to go with what's on the bottom of the dress....and it'll show skin through the ri... Wed, 14 Sep 2016 10:24:53 EST Why can't I? Today, I met up with a few girlfriends for walking the Wildlife Park. First thing one said to me (whom I'd just seen a week ago) commented on how tiny I was. Then after my walk and hike, i had errands. Stop one was my sister inlaw made comment on how I wasn't gonna fit in my dress for the wedding in 6 weeks. Stop two was another friend stop, they made comments too. Yet, I look at me and don't see it. If I post pictures side by side, I can. But actually looking at myself in person I just don'... Sun, 11 Sep 2016 21:38:14 EST Jeans, Part 2 <img src=""> <BR> I don't see differences in me when I lose weight. I still see the very round 300#. A month ago (and 4 lbs) I posted a very embarrassing post on a pair of jeans I was given a year ago that wouldn't even get on my thighs. I could button, but was a sickening site. While cleaning closet today, I tried again. Today is the bottom picture.... Sat, 10 Sep 2016 10:01:33 EST Recovery Hardest thing for me is sitting still. I didn't do so well with my broken foot couple years ago. It took me an extra almost 6 weeks because I couldn't sit still. While hiking on Thursday, I did something to tear muscles in my shin. At first I thought it was a shin splint, but when it started swelling and changing colors, and the way it feels, I tore something. Of course, the day after I went and walked 6 miles or so at St. Louis Zoo and then Saturday went and did hikes off sides of cliffs.... Mon, 5 Sep 2016 13:27:24 EST Vices Some of you may know a little of my back history. I have struggled with my weight my whole life, part genetics, part medical issues. I have always been active and not as horrible a diet as a lot of people. But I have always (since preteen) had a long list of vices. Smoking and soda habits started the earliest. Smoking was up to two packs a day and soda was a 12 pack a day habit. Drinking started in late teens years. I wasn't a daily drinker, but I enjoyed drinking couple days a week. I have... Sun, 4 Sep 2016 11:48:46 EST Yoga attempt A friend of mine posted on Facebook about a video series she started and her decease in knee pain. I thought what the heck, it can't hurt to give it a try. This morning was Day 1 of the 30 day Challenge....holy moly crazy! I GOT NO hip kept tightening, I couldn't do most of the poses. Between my fat getting in the way and physically unable to move that way, I looked like a huge idiot. But now that it's over, I feel kinda good. I feel more awake than I have in a week. The hip do... Sat, 27 Aug 2016 12:37:28 EST Perfect shirt <img src=""> <BR> I have found the most perfect shirt ever!! This will be my reward!<BR>KOUT_PUNCHING#pid=95&cid=6281&sid=front Thu, 25 Aug 2016 11:20:05 EST Beating PCOS? I was diagnosed with PCOS at a very young age. I have had more issues than most can imagine over the years. They have tried to medicate me to "help", a lot of times making other things worse. I had a sonogram done internally years ago of my ovaries, and they were both very full of cysts. I was told that would never be able to do much, especially since none of the normal meds worked on me. A few months ago, I had to have another one of those sonograms. Instead of polycysts, I only had one h... Mon, 22 Aug 2016 21:57:15 EST Being Sick I love my husband, but I have to vent here a minute. He gets sick, it's 4 days of getting spoiled and me doing everything I can to make him feel better. I get's a different story. Now granted, it doesn't happen often...last time was 2.5 yrs ago when I got strep. So I contracted a cold from the adorable kids I babysat last week. On the day of onset, I worked a double shift without a voice the second part of the day. On the first full day, I drove to the store for drugs and hubs wen... Sun, 21 Aug 2016 22:12:58 EST 12000 My goal each day is 12000 steps. On the days I work 13+hrs I easily get that and then some because I do close to 8000 or more just in my warehouse. But I am not longer working the warehouse shift (long story not my choice). Today, even with my hour cardio on my lunch break, I'm only at 10500 steps. I'm torn between feeling guilty I'm 1500 short, and ok with it because I'm beyond exhausted. So I guess for now, I'm going to bed. I'll deal with the guilt of not meeting my goal tomorrow af... Thu, 11 Aug 2016 22:31:04 EST Facebook Memories I love to run, pound the payment, feeling the sweat pour, pushing myself just that little bit more. But I can't now. Couple of injuries (not related to running) hurt too much now to be able to. Yet Facebook keeps reminding of my times when I was training couple years ago and doing awesome🙁 thanks for rubbing it in I can't..... Mon, 8 Aug 2016 16:09:42 EST Old habits can kill you This blog is not about me, but about what I observed my sister inlaw doing today. <BR> <BR> A little background on her, she became a "vegetarian" about 10-15 years ago to try to get "healthy" when she hit 400#. Her idea of that was to stop eating meat. Beside meat, her diet was chips, ice cream, chocolate, desserts, and pastas. So when she became a vegetarian, it didn't mean she ate any veggies. She would eventually get well over 500#, unable to move much, heart problems, etc. So last fall ... Sun, 7 Aug 2016 23:27:44 EST Jeans <img src=""> This is a blog very out side of my comfort zone....mostly because I'm completely embarrassed to show these pictures. I was given a couple pairs of jeans last year, a size smaller than what I was wearing at the time. However, I couldn't even get them on, let alone up enough to even try buttoning them. I was able to get them just over my knees. For sh!ts and giggles, I tried those things on that had be... Sat, 6 Aug 2016 16:24:42 EST Beast Mode....Month 1 I am getting married in October. (well technically just ceremony, legal part was 4/1, but we decided to keep our original date as well...2 anniversaries a year!!) I decided i was refusing to be over 200# for this wedding, and I went into what my husband calls "beast mode". I have maintained an 80# or so lost for 5 years. Up and down 20 here and there, but the majority stayed gone (check out a couple of my before and after pics). But maintaining wasn't what I wanted. So I'm going to prove t... Fri, 5 Aug 2016 14:31:52 EST Hungry Gonna preface this by saying it maybe TMI....I dislike being a girl sometimes. I am on my cycle. For most women, it's a normal monthly thing. For me, it's all new, very new. I went through problems for years, and haven't had one in close to 15 years. Now, I have lost weight and removed my birth control, and I have been having normal cycles for the first time. But I've noticed a huge HUGE problem. I'm hungry, very very hungry. Like today, I ate my normal breakfast. 2 hrs later at wor... Thu, 4 Aug 2016 14:45:12 EST More accountable? So I've been hurts a bit, but I'm controlling the smoke, but it might work out well! I need to be slightly more accountable with myself and with others. So I am going to try to blog on a more regular basis. It's worked for me before, but then I get complacent. Prepare for a flood of new blogs to come!!! Wed, 3 Aug 2016 11:33:42 EST Relaxing weekend (this is due to requests for pictures) <BR> <BR> My husband wanted a relaxing get away last what do we do? Exercise all weekend!! We decided to go to Turkey Run in Indiana. <BR> <BR> Saturday was an 8 mile hike through the park, mud, cliffs, sandstone, hills, and lots of fun. <img src=""> <img src=""> <img src="http://p... Mon, 1 Aug 2016 23:28:12 EST Bad habit I know weighing daily is a bad habit, but it's my habit. It makes me more conscience of what I'm doing. It help me remind myself to stay in check. With that being said, I don't want comments saying I shouldn't or anything else. I'm only blogging to ease my own frustration. This past weekend, we went on a crazy difficult 8 mile hike, did 6 miles of kayaking, some geocaching, and through most of it ate extremely "perfect ". But last night when we got home, I wasn't about to cook, I was e... Mon, 1 Aug 2016 11:05:34 EST Struggle and embarrassment So here I am still, watching and recording what I eat, getting an average of 10,000+ steps a day, exercising, avoiding starches, especially white ones, and yet I'm still on a plateau. My fiance says he sees a difference in my body, but I dont. And my doctors don't care what my body looks likes, only # on the scale. I am tired of struggling so bad with this. And today at the gtm, I hop on the treadmill like I do several days a week to get in a nice little run, about a tenth of a mile in, ... Thu, 18 Feb 2016 19:54:57 EST FAI I started about 6 weeks ago with horrible chronic pain in my hip. I finally got answers today. I have FAI. I have to go to a specialist and see about fixing it. I want to know if anyone has this and how you deal with it. Its limited me so much and I hate it. Having a very hard time with it. Wed, 6 May 2015 16:22:53 EST Week 7 <img src=""> Well, no weight been pretty much at a standstill since I started the new position and schedule at work. However, kicked butt running today and had my fastest mile time ever. Because of that, I got to check off one thing on my goal board. I haven't been able to do that in 11 months. So I am counting this as a win......:) Wed, 4 Mar 2015 16:05:20 EST Update of week 5 & 6 6 weeks down and also 16.2 lbs!! My lost has not been as great as the first few weeks. Part of that is getting used to the new position at work. I am working splits and also early mornings. While training last week, I just didn't have time for the gym. 13 or so hour days will do that. Top that with a couple of cheat days, I am only down 1.5 in the last two weeks. This week, the regular schedule started, so I have more "free" time outside of work again. <BR> <BR> I have been really hard on m... Tue, 24 Feb 2015 16:42:11 EST Reflection of past few years I joined Spark People in September of 2010. I would look at the web site once in awhile, but never did much. I had lost about 25 # though. In January, I got a crazy wake up call with my health. My doctor wanted to admit me into the hospital because my blood pressure was so high. My highest weight recorded was 281, but I am pretty sure I was closer at one point to 290+. I told my doctor I was going to do this, just give me a month. One month later, I had gotten it under control. <BR> <BR> M... Fri, 13 Feb 2015 10:29:07 EST Official 4 week blog I am really proud of myself. I'm down 14.6#, so of course that's pretty awesome. But even more than that was the miracle that happened while eating breakfast. Today I wanted a hot breakfast, a change of pace from my usuals. Going through the pantry, I remembered I had 7grain oatmeal that came from an Amish store. Bingo, hot breakfast. I measured out a cup (which is 2 servings), added in light soy milk, dusting of brown sugar, and cooked. I then added a cup of blackberries. Sitting here eati... Tue, 10 Feb 2015 10:25:35 EST Almost end of week 4 and best compliment ever!!! Almost the end of first 4 weeks, down 13#. Feeling great even tho this past weekend, my boyfriend and I had a bit of cheating. Which in the scheme wasn't bad. He has lost 100# too, and has a bit further to go, and since I have stocked with tons of fresh veggies and fruit, he did amazing cooking for me this weekend. But cheated a bit at the bowling alley Saturday night with our friends. <BR> <BR> This morning as he was getting ready for work, I decided to do my daily weigh-in. (I know thats ... Mon, 9 Feb 2015 10:33:44 EST Snowed in problem We got more snow yesterday. After my doctor's appointment, I decided I was staying off the roads until I had to go to work. Which of course meant no gym. Last weekend, my boyfriend and I rearranged my living room, and made it a bit more fitness friendly by unearthing my bands and step, etc. I also found my huge stack of fitness DVDs, most of which I've never opened. So, in light of being snowed in, I decided to bust out some DVD workouts. First I grabbed "Arms of Steel"....did two segments ... Thu, 5 Feb 2015 08:33:47 EST Week 3 recap I'm down 11 pounds total right now, has really slowed down from first 10 days, but I'm ok with that. Best thing about this week was having to move my work belt not one but 2 holes smaller!! Cruddy weather over weekend and pain in my healed foot put a slow down on activities for a few days. Here's to a great week and spark on!! Wed, 4 Feb 2015 10:25:54 EST The ignorance of people I don't know why this actually shocks me. I should know by this point in my life that people are built to disappoint. But this morning I was taken to a whole new level. I don't really understand how people can be so closed-minded. <BR> <BR> This is the conversation I overheard at the gym this morning in the locker room/bathroom: <BR> <BR> "I just don't understand why there is a handicapped bathroom at a gym. It just doesn't make any sense. What can someone like that do here?" <BR> <BR> R... Thu, 29 Jan 2015 12:47:51 EST Almost end of week 2 Week 2 ends tomorrow.....I didn't get in any gym time this weekend, nor did I have time today :( <BR> Instead, Saturday, my boyfriend and I went hiking. Even though I am regularly at the gym, doing cardio, strength training at home and gym, I am out of hiking shape!!!! <BR> But, what's great is even tho I didn't push as hard over the weekend, I did try to make decent choices. We did splurge on some fried food Saturday night, did have a few beers, but after all said and down, I was same weig... Mon, 26 Jan 2015 16:17:22 EST One week down.... Week one of my 12 week challenge is is 6.7# and I'm making enormous strides with my cardio. I'm able to push a little bit more each day, go a bit faster, a bit longer, and a bit harder. I'm feeling great! Hoping I can keep this momentum up for next 11 weeks and beyond! Wed, 21 Jan 2015 14:07:01 EST Small victories I signed up for the 12 week challenge at my gym to try to give me an extra boost and finally make this year the one. I have come a long way, but there is still so much further I want to go. Since starting the challenge, I have been doing fairly well at doing "everything" by the book and what I know I need to be doing. And the scale has gone down, which is the point of all of this. <BR> <BR> Last night, I had a date. The guy has also lost a lot of weight, and understands yo-yoing issues. We ... Sat, 17 Jan 2015 14:13:28 EST Personal Trainer So, after a year plus of being a member at one of my gyms, I finally got the "Free" session with a personal trainer. He went over a few good exercises for me, and we talked, and talked. He started out by asking what I meant by fluffy. Told him that since I get in trouble for calling myself fat, I use the term fluffy. He agreed because he said I am far from fat. Yes, at 240 lbs, I am not fat. I have a large bone structure, lots of muscle, and an hourglass shape. Hence, fluffy (since there's a ... Thu, 15 Jan 2015 17:03:18 EST no pain, no gain? Oh how true this is!! The more physical pain I'm in, the more I gain (in weight because I eat). I am trying to watch what I do, just doesn't always work. I know how to do all this, but am still lacking basic motivation to put everything into daily practice. Why do I fight this all so hard? Sat, 8 Nov 2014 18:08:27 EST What I did after Back in August, I had a freak accident at work. Pivoting out of a truck, I lost my footing and fell. The result was a broke bone (my first), couple of very large bone contusions, tendonitis through the bottom of my foot, and a lot of torn ligaments. Needless to say, my foot is a mess. Crutches, moon boot, PT, and a lot of ice its still nowhere near healed. I got more depressed than I normally am, mostly because exercise has always been a form of medication for me. And I quit caring about what... Sun, 2 Nov 2014 13:47:02 EST No idea where this came from... I didn't get to the gym today. <BR> I worked (and up a sweat at work). <BR> I went to dinner and had hot wings and a deep fried burger. <BR> I decided that it was perfect weather for a run/walk. <BR> <BR> So I set out for my walk. Decided to give it a little lite jog since I haven't done really any running training since injury last summer. <BR> <BR> Lite jog turned into a slow run. And I went....and went...and went. Now normally I get quarter mile or so in and walk a hair or two, then ... Wed, 9 Apr 2014 00:46:38 EST I DID IT!!!!!!! So much has happened since my last blog!!! Like my entire life is upside down, backwards, crazy, and I couldn't be any happier!!!! <BR> <BR> I will start with 2/21....I got fired from my job of almost 13 years. I loved my job, but I worked sometimes up to 85 hrs a week. I have always thought of myself as a happy person, til my friends kept saying that I am so much happier now. I am also realizing how much of LIFE I have missed out on in the last decade and a half. <BR> <BR> So, on to what ... Thu, 3 Apr 2014 12:48:04 EST