BEAUTY_WITHIN's SparkPeople Blog BEAUTY_WITHIN's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Disappointing run Well, I ran. Which I'm proud of. And I don't know if I didn't warm up well, or not, but it was not a good run. My tailbone was NOT happy. This isn't uncommon for me, and it's due to muscle weakness following an ancient injury. If I don't keep strengthening it, it flares up. <BR> Then my arches hurt. From the outside of my arch to the top of my heel. I'm not sure ]was going on. I'm thinking I didn't warm up properly. I'll try that on the next run day and see if it helps. Otherwise... Wed, 20 Aug 2014 20:20:29 EST No running today :( Running just didn't happen today. I'm disappointed. First it was too humid. Then the humidity broke, hooray! But that I had something weird that my tummy didn't like. It settled down and I had dinner, thinking I'd run after. Yea, by then it was pitch black out. BOOO. Oh well. I guess tomorrow's another day. But I'm supposed to go biking tomorrow...hmm, not sure how that'll work out. <BR> I didn't track as I went today, and I found that (when I did track) I'm literally 2 calories f... Tue, 19 Aug 2014 22:17:26 EST I slept like a LOG! Some of you may remember from earlier blogs that I have trouble sleeping. Not last night. Hooray! I slept SO well. I was sleepy - not just tired - by 9:45. For someone who generally goes to bed at 1, then tosses and turns for another hour or so, this was awesome. <BR> So I made some hot tea, grabbed my book, and read for another hour or so. (I'm very guilty of the 'just one more page' syndrome!). I was asleep by probably 11:30 or midnight. And I slept. THROUGH. THE. NIGHT. Didn't ... Mon, 18 Aug 2014 13:52:23 EST An AHA! Moment! I was reading a blog by STEPH-KNEE, and I just had a lightbulb moment! <BR> <BR><BR>_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5760661 <BR> <BR> She was saying how she shuts down sometimes when she feels overwhelmed. I've noticed that I tend to say, "well at least I'm not...(Fill in the blank)" or "At least I didn't do...(fill in the blank)". This may sound like I'm not focusing on the negative, and I'm not, but it also means that I'm accepting a lower stan... Sun, 17 Aug 2014 21:20:36 EST Today's analysis I think I need to change what I'm doing. My body seems to have gotten very efficient at walking. That has been my main form of activity lately. I'm getting lots of steps in. But I'm not making any progress. I don't like how the new tracker works; and I think I'm going to see if there's still a way to unhook them, and see if that helps. I'm going to focus on eating the base calories again, the 1200-1500. <BR> I'm also going to re-add my strength training, as I am HORRIBLE at doing ST. ... Sun, 17 Aug 2014 00:46:12 EST My first race This race was horrible. Bad organization to start with. They herded us like cattle and noone had a clue what the course was. Then, once we got started, the course was 3/4 gravel and 1/4 blacktop. Ow. My old tailbone injury was screaming a quarter of the way in. The gravel was kicking my butt. 1 guy took a nosedive. People cept stopping midcourse, and the color stations were a complete deadlock. Then my knee went out. <BR> There was 1 water station halfway through. Even that was a disor... Fri, 15 Aug 2014 23:34:13 EST Race day!! Today is the Blacklight Run race. I'm doing it with Bigpawsup & Hot_momma_13. Can't wait! I haven't been able to train like I wanted, so I'll likely end up walking a good deal of it, but that's okay. It is still going to be TONS of fun! It's going to be a late night though, the last wave of people STARTS at 10:15. I guess they're having us all run in waves, then go to the afterparty. There's a before-party, and an after party. <BR> I almost opted to not go to this at all, since I hav... Fri, 15 Aug 2014 14:33:09 EST Day 24 - SOOO Tired I went to the field museum again today. We had a great time. My son ran around the kid's section for awhile, then we went and saw the World's Fair exhibit. It was really interesting, but not worth the $11 entrance fee. My feet are so tired. I'm at 9,113 steps though, so I WILL get my 10,000 steps. Just not this minute. I don't think I finished tracking yesterday's food yesterday. Oops. I've had good days and bad lately. I wanted to do some ST today, but I think I'm just going to be t... Thu, 14 Aug 2014 20:29:03 EST Day 20 in review, day 21, and some NSVs Note to self - not tracking a weight gain makes it hard to post when I DO loose, even if it's the same handful of pounds I've been arguing with. So I went ahead, backtracked a week or so, and posted the gain, then posted the loss. I'm down a lb! Yea! :) My father also commented that I'd lost weight, and I noticed that my clothes are fitting funny. A bit loose, mostly in the chest. You loose weight in the weirdest ways, or at least I do! My feet, my hands, my chest...How about my stoma... Mon, 11 Aug 2014 12:41:36 EST Day 17 in review, and day 18 My calories were in goal yesterday, and I managed lots of fitness minutes. Yea! <BR> <BR> Today is a free day at the Field Museum, so I took Nathan. Chris was working a temp job, so he couldn't go. I had a good, healthy, filling breakfast before we left, and off we went! Nate fell asleep on the way, so when we got there we headed straight for the kid's section. He had a blast. Lots to explore, lots to touch and hit and jingle. After the kid's section, I only let Nathan walk in spurts ... Fri, 8 Aug 2014 21:28:38 EST Day 17, and 16 in review I wrote a blog yesterday. And then accidentally deleted it. I never got around to rewriting it. I went bike riding yesterday. 2 miles. OMG. My upper legs (quads?) ACHED today. I'm not used to biking being a serious exercise. But in all reality, I haven't done any serious biking since I got pregnant with Nate. My bike had been stolen shortly before then, and by the time I had the money to replace it, I was pregnant. Since I figured I'd have trouble riding as I got farther along, I d... Thu, 7 Aug 2014 18:38:30 EST day 10 in review and day 11 Yesterday went well. Nice and relaxing. I had an interview with a temp agency that went really well. Food was good, I think. I think I fell asleep before I tracked it all. I know I managed my water. I got my steps in, and I think I could have done more!! Wow!! <BR> As I write this I'm sitting in a park. Chris and I got up early for a free yoga class in the park, but we couldn't find it. :( Too bad. I was looking forward to it. So Chris walked laps and I did some yoga on my own. It was sti... Thu, 31 Jul 2014 11:14:37 EST Day 10 I had a good time at my mom's. We all sat outside in her gazebo, and Nate's Grandpa bought him a blow up pool which he loved playing in. <BR> <BR> My mom surprised me, very presently. Normally she heckles me about "eating too much or too often" when I'm at her house. This time, however, she actually went out of her way to stock the fridge with extra water, and to purchase several small meals for me to have throughout the day. None of it was very healthy, but it was tasty, and VERY much ... Mon, 28 Jul 2014 21:48:03 EST Day 6 in Review, and Day 7 Well, with the exception of being under calories yesterday, I had a pretty great day. Good amount of water, lots of freggies, TONS of activity. I'm really proud that I walked my 10,000 steps and was actually surprised to see the number on the fitbit counter. It used to be that I would be EXHAUSTED by walking that much. Not now! And I'm really happy with that. <BR> Today so far I'm high on carbs. I was also high on calories, at least for what I have planned for dinner (It's pizza night... Fri, 25 Jul 2014 18:45:28 EST Day 6 in Review, and Day 7 Well, with the exception of being under calories yesterday, I had a pretty great day. Good amount of water, lots of freggies, TONS of activity. I'm really proud that I walked my 10,000 steps and was actually surprised to see the number on the fitbit counter. It used to be that I would be EXHAUSTED by walking that much. Not now! And I'm really happy with that. <BR> Today so far I'm high on carbs. I was also high on calories, at least for what I have planned for dinner (It's pizza night... Fri, 25 Jul 2014 18:45:28 EST Day 5 in review & day 6 Things are going well. Calories were in range yesterday, I just completely forgot to blog. I have not been remembering to measure though, so that's something to rectify. I'm under calories today, cause I didn't realize I'd walked 10,000 steps till it was past dinnertime! I'm having a smoothie before bed, but that's still putting me under. <BR> And that's a NSV - not that long ago 10,000 steps would have felt like walking to the MOON! Today, I'm only a bit tired. Yea!! :) <BR> <BR> O... Fri, 25 Jul 2014 00:08:42 EST Day 3 review, and day 4 I chose to be over calorie yesterday. This was a choice I made. It was 80 calories, and it was a smoothie. I didn't have enough fruit, and I was a little snacky still. (Someone pointed out that this had to do with my lack of sleep from the night prior, thanks again for that!) <BR> Most of my food were good, if not all clean, choices. I'm getting a handle on saying "no" to the junk food in the house, partly because I'm allowing myself serving size of things if I really want them, and I'm... Tue, 22 Jul 2014 18:17:46 EST Day 2 review and day 3 Yesterday ended with me in calorie range. I slept horribly; I'm not sure I ever got "deep". <BR> I got up at 7 as I was supposed to go to the zoo today. There had been a weather advisory for those with asthma. I didn't think it would bother me. I forgot about the high pollen count. I got up, went to the bathroom, and had such a hard time breathing well. My chest was SO tight. So back to the bedroom I went. (we don't have central air) Back to bed I went. Got up at 10. Not much bett... Mon, 21 Jul 2014 20:59:16 EST Day 2, and Day 1 in review <em>104</em> I had a good day yesterday. Lots of walking, I picked up a few much-needed necessities at the store, and made some great choices at the restaurant we went to. Yea! <em>104</em> <BR> <BR> Today is going well too. I've had a cup of cereal for breakfast, with a quarter cup of milk, I even remembered to MEASURE! my lunch - something I never remember to do. <BR> <BR> This, I suspect, is probably the bane of my weight loss. I think I have very little portion control. ... Sun, 20 Jul 2014 18:13:15 EST I'm so done. I've been here for 3 years. I've accomplished very little, weight loss wise. I'm so done. <BR> <BR> I've seen pictures of me. I'm huge. I'm exhausted after chasing my son (who isn't running yet! ) for 15 minutes. I hate clothing shopping. It's so hard to find anything unless I'm at Torrid or Lane Bryant. <BR> <BR> I'm so done being like this. I want to feel better. I want to keep up with Nate. I want to to buy cute clothes and look pretty again. I'm so done being like this. <BR> <BR> ... Sat, 19 Jul 2014 13:41:03 EST New shoes I Finally got new shoes today! ! I've been needing them for ages.and it made such a difference. My feet don't hurt nearly as much, and neither does my back. It's not 100% yet, but I comfortably got in about 3 miles before it started to hurt. I am hoping that in the next week I may actually be able to do some running! I would love to. I really so miss it. <BR> I am so thrilled with my new shoes! :) Sat, 19 Jul 2014 01:54:40 EST I hurt... I wrote a couple of days ago about having sciatica issues. It's been feeling alot better lately. So today I went to the farmer's market with my family (got some GREAT fresh fruits & veggies!) Then walked up to the train station to meet my mom for dinner. This had been probably about 2 or 2.5 miles by now. I wasn't even THINKING about my sciatica. I walked back to the train, and I was supposed to have a 2 block walk from the bus stop to the house. <BR> <BR> Yea, about halfway to the tr... Thu, 17 Jul 2014 23:44:04 EST The week's catch up It's been about a week since I blogged. I've been tracking, but I just haven't felt like talking. No reason, really. Just didn't want to. <em>41</em> <BR> I've been having a lot of problems with my lower half. I have an old injury from 09 that makes my tailbone ache if I don't keep the muscles strong enough. And apparently, I haven't been, cause it's been achy. :( Then I've had that odd pain near my middle toe by the ball of the foot. It comes and goes. Then yesterday I had a ... Mon, 14 Jul 2014 15:31:39 EST Stressed and Scared. let's start with a little history. <BR> <BR> My father and mother divorced when I was 2, and mom raised me from there alone. My father was never around, ddin''t pay child support, ect ect. <BR> <BR> When I was 16, he tracked me down. He was around for less than a year, then went poof again. When I was 19, I tracked HIM down. I wanted to get to know him. In retrospect, I'm not sure that was a good idea. <BR> <BR> We've had a stormy relationship ever since. Lots of broken promises, ... Sun, 6 Jul 2014 12:50:01 EST forever the fat girl? I'm trying to eat to hunger today. I'm tracking as I go, and I have dinner included cause it will be alot od food. This is all great, and healthy. However, I'm at my mom's. As you may recall, her idea of healthy is 1 meal a day, possibly 2. So by this point, having gotten up at 6 or 7, I've had a snack, breakfast, lunch and another snack. When I went in for my last snack, she was all "oh my. God, all you do is eat. Are you really that hungry? ?"" <BR> Yes. Yes I was. But all I could thi... Fri, 4 Jul 2014 15:11:53 EST Ok, time to put on my big girl pants First of all, THANK you everyone, for your support. It was appreciated. It helped me pick myself up and dust myself off. <em>304</em> <BR> <BR> I did my measurements since my last blog. The results were not pretty. <em>42</em> I'm up in all areas except 2 - my upper arm (down by .5!) and my belly (down by .5 also!) Making progress on my belly makes me VERY happy. That's always been a trouble spot for me. So I'm pleased with that. <BR> Ok, things have changed alot in the last 2... Tue, 1 Jul 2014 00:43:39 EST pissed and debating giving up on this I'm so pissed. The scale is up AGAIN! I've been on this site for 3 years, and I was loosing, and now it's coming all back. I'm up to 226. AGAIN! I'm busting my ass, working out regularly - I've got over 1500 fitness minutes this month alone, I'm trying to eat well, and get my water and freggies in, and it's not working. I was down to 198 after my son was born - I LOST weight during my pregnancy. In the 14 mo since he was born, I've gained what, 30 lbs? Why the heck am I even here if a... Mon, 30 Jun 2014 14:11:48 EST New Strength training I did one of Sparks workout plans today. Or more specifically, about half of it. I got through the lower half of a full body one, and I was worn out, and hurting just a little. I aggravated an old injury just a hair. So I swapped the 3 new upper body moves for 1 that I was familiar with, and called it done. <BR> <BR> I'm proud of myself! <em>345</em> It's almost dinner time and I've got 88 calories before I hit my low end, I've gotten 9 (!) glasses of water in today! <em>91</em... Sat, 28 Jun 2014 20:57:04 EST Some questions First of all, I just realized that today will be day 6 of having my calories in or under range. Now I'm still a bit confused by the new tracker. My calories have been within the 1200-1500 range for the most part, but under the goal set with the activity I've done. Not a whole lot; maybe 100-300 tops, but could this be enough to hinder weight loss? I don't quite get that. <BR> <BR> Also, how do you guys estimate the amount of food you've had when you can't measure? My husband makes smo... Thu, 26 Jun 2014 21:09:36 EST *sighs* I'm frustrated. The scale is back up. I cannot seem to get out of the 220s! I've been stuck here for awhile now. I was around this weight when I got pregnant with my son, then after he was born I stuck a toe in Onderland, got down to 196, and now I'm back up to 225. I'm so tired of it. But I don't seem to be able to get out of the 220s. <BR> I guess I need to go back over the calories. The fitness stuff isn't a problem. My water is, I know that. But I think the calories are ok. ... Wed, 25 Jun 2014 00:46:57 EST catching up We got approved for unemployment. *Insert excitement here - I'm too tired for excitement* Yea. It's great to have an income again. It'll be even better when we have an actual job. But I'm happy with having unemployment right now. That's about another 6mo or so of cushion. <BR> I went to the Pride fest today with my family. Walked about 3.5 miles. My knee is so sore and tired. I'm giving it some rest for a little bit, then I'm going to do some yoga. It's been awhile since I've done... Sun, 22 Jun 2014 23:10:27 EST Feeling a big discouraged I'm doing well on the health stuff. So that's good. <BR> I'm discouraged with other stuff. Like the job stuff. When Chris and I got married, he was the one who worked. We both preferred it that way. I was supposed to stay home and freelance, and later, look after Nate. <BR> Well, I have't had a freelance job since Nate was born 14 months ago, and Chris has been job hunting for 6 months now. I'm so frustrated. I'm regular-job hunting now too, which is depressing, because I never wante... Tue, 17 Jun 2014 19:37:42 EST 6/16 Argh! I accidentally deleted my original blog! <em>28</em> <BR> <BR> I think today was an exercise in endurance! I had to endure scrambling for money when I found I had miscalculated our finances, I had to endure the failure of my plans for my husband's day when my body gave out on me, and I had to endure through my son not going to bed till midnight! <BR> <BR> Today was hard, but it reminded me of something, and taught me something else. Reminder - PAY ATTENTION! The money proble... Mon, 16 Jun 2014 02:17:00 EST The ZOO We went to the zoo yesterday. It was PERFECT out! Blue skies, nice breeze, GORGEOUS! We walked about 5.5 miles today. I slept like a rock last night, woke up at 10 this morning, had breakfast, and went back to bed till 1. Hubby is similarly as tired. And I'm SORE! I didn't expect to be sore from walking. <BR> <BR> I am STILL tired. Though I'm annoyed with my fitbit - it only thinks I was active for about 2 hours - we were there for over 4! And even though it counts the steps, it t... Sat, 14 Jun 2014 21:03:02 EST strange discovery I have eaten today, besides just supper. However, supper was the only meal that was decently sized and of a decent amount of calories. I haven't really had any snacks. <BR> <BR> So when supper came, I ate my big supper, in healthy proprtions. And I realized something. You can eat, but not eat enough for you to actually support your body. I didn't really realize this till I found it taking lots of concentration to eat. I got all 8 glasses of water in at one sitting. <BR> I tracked wha... Thu, 12 Jun 2014 22:09:57 EST My interview Well, I can say one thing for the day, I got lots of steps in. Can't say how many, because I didn't wear my fitbit. Silly of me. <BR> So I made great time getting to the area of my interview. I had an hour to spare. So I figured I'd find it and then find somewhere to sit till it was time. <BR> And then I got lost. Google maps had me get off waaaaaaay too soon. I finally made it there - and hour late. I spent almost 2 hours wandering around trying to get unlost. My map was NO help. I fin... Wed, 11 Jun 2014 21:16:17 EST NSV and a Puzzle So my aunt said that I lost weight! Yea! But the scale isn't budging. However, I have noticed that my pants are loose in my tummy (Finally! HOORAY!) so what I'm wondering, is it possible to loose the same amount of weight as I'm gaining in muscle? It's a little odd - I didn't think it would be even like that. <BR> <BR> But I'm THRILLED to see progress in my VERY stubborn tummy! <em>9</em> I am so sick of having a poochy tummy. :) And since I lost the baby, it's been a painful re... Sun, 8 Jun 2014 20:03:03 EST Feeling a little sad We took my inlaws grocery shopping today, which was an eye opener. The cart was full of alot of junk. Stuff that not to long ago would have been our cart. Cookies, chips, over processed rice and flour. <BR> I was amazed to see how the small changes we have made over the last 3 years have really added up. I felt sad that although I did suggest healthier alternatives, (brown rice instead of white, for example ) they had no interest. Oh well. I certainly can't force them. Sat, 7 Jun 2014 15:44:30 EST I had a really nice day A couple of my family's friends were in the city today. Normally, we'd have gotten together, eaten at some expensive and not healthy restaurant, or gone for frappechinos or something. <BR> None of us had the money for that, so we decided to get food from Walgreens (NOT the cheapest option, but we were low on time) and have a picnic in Grant Park. We had a BLAST. It was so nice out! The kids got to run around, we all got some fresh air, and we had a picnic with sandwiches and fruit and ve... Fri, 6 Jun 2014 00:45:32 EST What am I hiding from? I read somewhere that sometimes people use their weight to hide from things or to protect themselves. It was something that resonated with me, so I'm going to explore it here. <BR> What am I protecting myself from? Eesh, just typing that question is making me tense. <BR> I don't want to look like a fool. Trying to do things and finding there's no way in hell I can do them. LOOKING weird. One thing a "friend" (someone who I thought was a friend, and turned out not to be) once said rea... Thu, 5 Jun 2014 02:12:09 EST Lots of time in the car We spent a lot of time in the car today picking up my best friend from the airport. It was far longer than I planned, so I didn't manage my run, AGAIN. I'm beginning to think if I want to be running and training for the 5K, I need to get my butt up and out earlier. It just doesn't seem to be happening otherwise, and I don't want to leave my training to chance. <BR> Boy did it feel AWESOME to do some yoga today! Got to unkink everything, get it all back in alignment, and just RELAX. I wou... Wed, 4 Jun 2014 02:06:02 EST Since you asked. .. A couple people asked what my hubby and I had for dinner that was a day's worth of calories. We went to TGI Fridays and split a sizzling shrimp and chicken with mashed potatoes, I had a cup of cheddar broccoli soup, and we split the Tennessee Whiskey cake. <BR> I knew the calorie counts would be high, but I figured splitting it would have helped, but it was still really high! Ouch! Sat, 31 May 2014 22:44:26 EST huge portions I went out for dinner with my husband today. just ate a days worth of calories in one meal. And that is with my husband and I splitting everything - the appetizer, entree, and dessert. <BR> I had the room for it, since I was active today, but was shocks me is how many calories I would have had if I had eaten a full entrée and dessert by myself, as many people do. <BR> Wow. My meal - 1meal! Would have topped out at over 2,000 calories! And we wonder why most of us are fat!! We as a so... Sat, 31 May 2014 21:49:21 EST today's blog So my foot is healing. I walked about 3 miles today, and it aches only occasionally. I didn't think I wanted to push it by running, though I definitely miss it. <BR> Tomorrow my husband and I are planning to go hiking. I can't wait! I totally need some time in nature! After that, we'll stop at my moms and pick up the champagne. It's left from our 1 year anniversary, so that's kind of cool. <BR> The hotel has a pool, so there will be LARGE amounts of swimming! I can't WAIT! <BR> T... Sat, 31 May 2014 02:11:40 EST On the horizon My foot is doing better today. I still haven't done day 3 of week run for my running program though. I'm thinking I'll do my 1.5 mile walk tomorrow, and if I'm still ok, I'll try a run either tomorrow night or Sat morning before my husband & I go to the hotel. <BR> We're having a get away for our anniversary. Our anniversary is the 4th, and our friends & family have all pitched in to give us a great day/night out. My mom paid for the hotel, one of my besties lent us her car, and my inlaws... Fri, 30 May 2014 02:45:26 EST Choices So following the holiday, we have tons of sweet, sugary desserts. Cake, ice cream, sherbet, cookies. All of it. <BR> So today after dinner, I wanted something sweet. I am so proud of myself - I actually WANTED a smoothie. I wanted fruit. I even looked at the cake, and decided it sounded kind of yucky. YUCKY. Me, about CAKE. <BR> I was reading one of the spark articles, and it was saying that you can eat your favorite treats, in moderation. What it didn't say is what I've found to ... Thu, 29 May 2014 00:04:55 EST OW! #$%^&&&^%*&* I am REALLY hoping my toe isn't broken. I was doing something at the kitchen sink this morning, and I felt a crack. In my middle toe on my right foot. It felt kind of when I had a joint hyperextend a few months ago. So I didn't think a whole lot of it. It had a dull ache, but that was it. I could walk okay. <BR> I was on my way back up the steps to my home carrying my son after dinner when suddenly I had alot of pain in that area again. It suddenly felt like I'm walking on bone. I nea... Wed, 28 May 2014 00:18:46 EST Reviewing the challenges of our new home <img src=""> <BR> <BR> We are fairly settled into our new home. In regards to unpacking, the master bedroom and the living room needs to be finished. <BR> <BR> The hard part is now building a routine that works for us. The "us" however, is now 7 people. While my husband and I are only responsible for us and our son, we're facing the difficulty of 7 people eating, so when we buy ingredients for meals, sometimes they get eaten befor... Mon, 26 May 2014 02:39:32 EST The long weekend So far it has been a great weekend. I'm exhausted, but as I sat down here listening to some quiet music and catching up on spark and some email, I realized what I have been missing the last few days - alone time. It's been go-go-go-go since the end of last week. <BR> <BR> You see, one of my besties is out of town, and was generous enough to lend us a car. Having a car generally means we do lots of things we normally can't - spend extra time with my family, take care of errands out by her... Mon, 26 May 2014 01:18:27 EST Determination! Today Grandma watched Nate, and Chris and I went to a movie, since we had a car. :D We also ended up stopping at the dollar store, and hitting steak n shake for dinner. So basically, the middle of the day, while fun, involved eating lots of crap. Which I'm STILL feeling. UGH. I got back on track when I got home but I still feel crappy. :( I'm in calories still, but my tummy is NOT happy. <BR> <BR> I signed up for a 5k! It's an at-night-race called the Blacklight Run. So I started ... Thu, 22 May 2014 00:01:16 EST