BEAUTY_WITHIN's SparkPeople Blog BEAUTY_WITHIN's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community The blog with no name Wow, I started this blog yesterday! And apparently didn't finish it! <BR> <BR> Things are getting back to normal after Nate's stint in the hospital. He is definitely asthmatic, so we now carry an inhaler for him. So far we don't know his triggers. So things are settling down, and I finally saw some weight loss, after a few weeks of gain. <BR> <BR> Today's my birthday! So far I've splurged. I might already be over, I haven't tracked. If I am today, that's ok, I'm not going to sweat... Mon, 16 Jan 2017 15:27:15 EST Officially official So we have a confirmation of Nate's diagnosis. Asthma. We have a good Dr who did give us a good starter plan with an inhaler, steroids, and a nebulizer. The problem is I am Terrified. I knew a girl in grade school whose dad died from an asthma attack. My father in,law and husband both have it, which scares me. But now my little boy does. Everyone in this house is so used to it, they don't think much of it. So I am alone in my fear. I can't let Nate see it, of course. I don't want to scare h... Tue, 10 Jan 2017 23:57:52 EST My son is home My son is home. Thank God. <BR> We took him to the ER because he was sick and not breathing well. We have a family history of asthma, and we were 90% sure that he had it. We took him in at 1 am, and at 7, after 4 nebulous treatments, they decided to admit him for observation. He had responded well to the first one, but the next 3 didn't help. They put him on oxygen, and he fell asleep. They woke him up by sticking a fricking qtip up his nose to get a swab for the flu. The poor kid wo... Mon, 9 Jan 2017 00:24:51 EST New Year's Eve <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Well, this is it, everyone! New Year's Eve. We wish fair thee well to the old year, and say hello to what lies ahead. So I went back to the my stats and blogs for the beginning of the year. I started the year weighing in at 228. I now weight 224. What those numbers DON"T say is how I lost weight, gained it back, and dropped it again. Same with inches. I went back and reread some of m... Sat, 31 Dec 2016 19:40:52 EST Measurement So I did my measurements today. I am really disappointed in myself today. Almost every area went up, with the exception of 2 of them. This is the first time in a while this has happened. I wasn't shocked, as one of my reclaimed pair of jeans is begging to return to the too small pile. I refuse! So tomorrow is the new start. Well, tonight, actually, since I did some yoga and I am having some water, since I am very thirsty. I don't know what my problem is. It's not the holidays... Tue, 27 Dec 2016 01:02:38 EST Week 2 of my challenge I did my weigh in today. It's stuck. I haven't gained, which is great. My fitness is still on track, which is probably why I haven't gained. My calories aren't so great. I have been feeling too constricted in my eating. I'm tired of tracking, and just haven't been wanting to deal with it. I've been here for about 5 years, and I'm only down 13 lbs. :( It's getting old. I don't want to be this big. But I'm tired of fighting with it. I feel like I'm always gonna be this big, no mat... Tue, 20 Dec 2016 19:26:07 EST Three has less calories than 4 I had to remind myself of this today. I did great through breakfast and lunch. Even at Starbucks. I had 400 calories left till my low end. We had fish sticks and tater tots for supper. And just like that, I was over. :( So I had a piece of chocolate coal. And another. And another. Finally managed to walk away. I'm not too happy. This challenge hasn't been going well. I'm two weeks in, and while the scale hasn't gone up yet, I feel the difference in my pants. I will not regain what I lost! I h... Sun, 18 Dec 2016 00:13:50 EST Chocolate We celebrate St Nicholas Day. With the stockings comes Chocolate. A LOT of it! And it is hard to resist. I haven't done too well with it. But I have noticed that when I indulge, I crash. I mean, yes, I knew there was a sugar crash after awhile, but this is the first time I've put the sad spells I have for seemingly no reason, together with the sugar. But I do think that that's the culprit. The depression doesn't last long, maybe a half hour, but I'm sad, depressed, and weepy during that time.... Sun, 11 Dec 2016 23:49:18 EST Amazing weekend I had a great weekend. My family went to a friend's son's 2nd birthday yesterday, and we had a wonderful time. The boys were well behaved, and enjoyed their friend's company. The food was delicious. I could have made better choices though. I ended up over. Oh well. Except that's been a trend for the last 3 days. Today was pretty great too. We got our first real snowfall in Chicago, and it was beautiful. We all went for a walk, hoping to get the kids to nap, but we discounted the allu... Mon, 5 Dec 2016 00:14:58 EST My scale played a horrible, nasty, awful joke on me this morning. So I weighed myself in the afternoon yesterday. I usually do this the day before weigh in day. That weight was 226. So today, my new weigh-in day, (It changed because of the requirements of the Scarlet Dragons group) I got on my newish scale. I've had it for several months. And it flashed at 180!!! For a moment I was thrilled. Onderland! Oh my gosh! I did it. Then it dawned on me, 40lb OVERNIGHT? The scale must be broken. So I borrowed a family member's scale. 224. That makes MU... Wed, 30 Nov 2016 23:04:57 EST The House Devil I think that's my name over here. <em>18</em> <em>18</em> I'm trying not to make a bunch of comfort food. I'm frustrated and tired. I live with my inlaws. And they have very specific ideas on how the kids should be raised, which of course, vary from mine & my husbands. He's at work all day, so I'm stuck dealing with them. This time, I had the NERVE to let my 3 year old walk home in the rain so he could jump in the puddles. So naturally, he's got wet shoes, socks, and pants when h... Mon, 28 Nov 2016 19:50:52 EST Fall clothes So I mentioned a week ago or so, I was pulling out my fall clothes, and I was hoping they'd be too big. Some people wanted me to report, so here ya go. First of all, i hadn't put away any pants. Which means I actually do only have about 5 pair that for right now. I would like at least 1 more pair of jeans. Most of my tops still fit. I had a couple that I donated because they were big enough that they hung wrong now. They weren't huge, but not bad. So I don't really need anything new yet. I... Mon, 28 Nov 2016 00:38:41 EST Thanksgiving <img src=""> <BR> I had a great Thanksgiving. Spent time with my family and my best friend. Had a great meal, and a few too many treats. I was over by about 700. Not awful, but more than I was planning. That's ok. I'm back on track today. The day before yesterday, I had to bring my wedding dress down from the attic. So for the heck of it, I tried it on. I was hoping it would be too big, and it was a bit loose in th... Sat, 26 Nov 2016 00:45:06 EST 5% challenge I did my weigh in today. I went down .6 to 224.0. I did the 5% challenge this fall, and it helped kick me out of my rut, finally. I had been waffling between 228 and 232 for months. The idea was we had 10 weeks to loose 5% of our body weight, which for me was 11lbs, which would have brought be to 221. This was the last week, and final weigh in. I had 2 rough weeks, but I managed to loose weight most weeks, and 224 is pretty close! Even if I didn't make the 5%, I'm proud of myself, and ... Sat, 19 Nov 2016 22:51:42 EST Update My abs are sore! I'm working on really keeping good posture, and that requires my abs. They are sore! But it's a good sore. I have been hitting my 10,000 steps most days of the week. The days I don't, I'm getting in at least 4,000. But Tues-Thur, I'm generally over that 10,000 mark! Do any of you have any good tips for walking in the winter? We've been blessed with unusually warm weather for Chicago in Nov, High of 63 today, high of 70 tomorrow! But it can turn snowy any day now. <B... Wed, 16 Nov 2016 15:12:20 EST A good day & 5% Challenge I'm really tired, but I had a pretty good day, so I thought I'd share. <BR> <BR> Some of you may remember that I had been stuck yo-yoing between 232 and 228. So in an effort to snap out of this, I joined the fall 5% challenge. The goal was within 2 months (I believe) to loose 5% of your current weight. I started at 232. 5% for me was 11 lbs, bringing me down to 221. <BR> I started tracking more accurately. <em>249</em> <BR> I started planning my meals (at least a little more, I'm... Mon, 14 Nov 2016 23:02:48 EST So tired So my weigh in didn't go well. I'm up by 2 lb. I had 2 not good days. I was hoping that wouldn't be reflected in today, but so much for that. I'm doing the 5% challenge, and I wanted so much to loose the 11lbs that was my 5 %. There's no hope of that now. Best I can do is 226, if I manage to stay on track this week. If I manage that, I will have lost 6 lbs, which is still good. I'll be happy, even if it's not what I hoped for. Tonight is date night. I am so tired. The kids are down, and I'm ... Sat, 12 Nov 2016 00:00:02 EST More NSVs I am staying on track. I am under calories again. And I managed 5 glasses of water today. This is a great thing for me, I'm bad at keeping my water where it should be. My son wanted me to run with him on the way to school, and I told myself, Why not? I tell him no when he wants me to run most of the time. We ran probably less than a block, and I kept up with him . At 3, he's got much shorter legs and so he should be slower than me, but hey, I'm happy! And when we were some, I wasn't even brea... Wed, 9 Nov 2016 00:48:28 EST A glimpse of who I could be I had some great NSVs today. First of all, I am wearing my Firefly shirt. The last time I wore this shirt,less than a month ago, it kept trying to roll up over my belly, and was also tight in the bust. Today, however, it fits well! No tightness anyway. Secondly, my jeans, the first button up pair I've worn in ages, are starting to get loose! If I wiggle them a bit, I can get them off without unzipping! Thirdly, on the days my son doesn't have school, I walk about a mile to a mile and a ha... Tue, 8 Nov 2016 00:09:42 EST Strength training? Today is a st day. And I meant to do it before bed. But I am so exhausted that all I've got energy for is to put the kids down. Even the idea of ST is exhausting. So I guess I will do it in the morning tomorrow. I just can't summon the energy tonight/ :( <BR> I had a nice day shopping at Barnes and Noble with a friend. We decided we are going to do a craft show together. at some point. No idea when, but I'm trying to think of ideas. What would you buy at a craft fair that's either kn... Sun, 6 Nov 2016 22:52:16 EST Weigh-in day Well, the mess showed up on the scale. I am up 2 lbs. :( I'm unhappy, but I know what I did, so it's not too unexpected. I'm getting back on track. I have tracked my food for the day already, I have done some walking, and today is a ST day. I am not going to let 2 lbs derail me! <BR> <BR> <em>381</em> Fri, 4 Nov 2016 14:39:49 EST My messy week <img src=""> <BR> Spark is making this hard! <BR> <BR> Awesome, that worked. I started the blog from the phone where the picture was, then I edited. So with halloween, and everything this week, I haven't been here much at all. I haven't even completely tracked, which is unusual for me. <BR> <BR> I took the picture today cause I was feeling pretty and a little sexy. And...then I had a horrible day foodwise. ... Thu, 3 Nov 2016 23:51:42 EST Bras So I went bra shopping today. Didn't get anything, but I measured - and fit WELL! a 44Dd!! I haven't been anything lower than a G in years!! I am so thrilled! And I am down 2 more lbs!! Yea! Sat, 29 Oct 2016 21:22:11 EST Had a blah day Today was a day I just couldn't care. My epilepsy has been flaring up off and on all day. <em>54</em> (Lightning bolt because seizures has been described as a thunderstorm in the brain) <BR> <BR> Nate had school today, and it was pouring. Since I don't drive, we walked. Or rather, I walked, and the kids rode in the stroller. Ugh. So I'm pushing the stroller with one hand, with an umbrella in the other. Not fun. Surprisingly, I did not get too soaked. Horray. <BR> <BR> I just wa... Thu, 27 Oct 2016 00:25:53 EST So how it went Well, it went ok. I'm a bit over because I miscalculated my soy, but about 100 calories. I had to sub out breakfast cause there weren't any eggs. (oops).And then dinner, cause hubby wouldn't be able to stop at the store. Oh well. I tried. I already have tomorrow's food planned out, with a bit more room for error this time. <BR> I'm looking forward to doing my measurements next week! I'm tempted to jump the gun again and do it a week early like I did last month, but this time I WILL w... Mon, 17 Oct 2016 23:24:51 EST pre-planning So I am trying to get out of the food rut I'm in. I am planning my food for tomorrow, and I'm aiming for my low end. Try as I might, I end up above it. I don't know how to get there. I mean, I've got 2 eggs for breakfast, <BR> a half a pbj, a yogurt, and strawberries for lunch <BR> stirfry with chicken and brown rice for dinner, <BR> strawberries and grapes for snacks, <BR> and a tall soy chai at Starbucks, <BR> 2 cups of vanilla soy at home. <BR> <BR> Soy is necessary for my seizur... Mon, 17 Oct 2016 01:16:17 EST Frustrated with my weigh in I am so beyond frustrated. I did my weighin for my 5% challenge today. And I'm by 2 lbs. AGAIN. I keep going up and down by about the same amount. It is driving me crazy. I can NOT shake the 230-228 range. I don't know why, but I have been stuck there for about a year (since my son was born). I'm loosing inches, and some clothes fit better, and I'm sleeping better, all of which are GREAT NSVs, but I want the scale to MOVE> I know my food has to be to blame, as I have recently ramped ... Sun, 16 Oct 2016 01:02:54 EST NSV's Don't really have much to write about today. My shirts are fitting better. I'm on week 3 (I think, I'm loosing track) of walking 4.5-5 miles per day, and it's getting easier. When I did my monthly numbers last month I'd lost a bunch of inches! WOOT! I'm excited about that. Hopefully tomorrow's numbers show a drop. I really am tired of being stuck. But those are some great NSV's My shirts fit better, my bras are looser (Ok, this is annoying - I HATE bra shopping!) My feet aren't so tire... Thu, 13 Oct 2016 23:39:07 EST I'm sick I went to a craft show today at a local forest preserve. It was a lot of fun.y oldest was coughing a bit, and my youngest had the sniffles. We go to dinner. My oldest got sick. Needless to say, the waiter got a great rip. (I felt so bad for him!!) We get home, I'm sick by now, and both boys. Ugh. And I'm make HORRIBLE food decisions when I'm sick. I was about 400 over. Ugh. I am not happy. I will be happy to be well again. I don't know if my son will be up for school on Tuesday I also hope... Mon, 3 Oct 2016 00:22:51 EST Frustrated and confused So my scale now says 232. I know it can fluctuate, but that's 4lb. I did make sure that the scale was on a hard wood instead of tiled surface, so I don't know if that made a difference. I also weighed myself at the end of the day. So I have no clue what's right. All I know is it says I'm up 4 lb when I have been working so hard. :( Boo. Here's to a better weigh in next week! Sat, 1 Oct 2016 21:15:04 EST Measurements I just took my measurements, a week early. I couldn't wait. I'm up to 5 miles most days And boy, did I see results! I'm down 3lbs, and between 1 and 3 inches in most areas, except my upper arm, which went up. I'm really proud of this. I have been stuck for so long, and I am FINALLY making progress again. Mon, 26 Sep 2016 23:57:55 EST My heart hurts This article came across in Yahoo today.<BR>es-airline-gold-member-sues-suffering-<BR>fat-man-spillover-1582962?utm_source=y<BR>ahoo&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=<BR>rss&utm_content=%2Frss%2Fyahoous%2Fnews&yptr=yahoo I am sad. I am overweight, obese even. The idea of someone suing because they had to sit next to me makes me want to cry. Why are people so horrible? This guy is suing for a refund and "damages". What damages? The wrinkle in the ar... Fri, 23 Sep 2016 15:47:41 EST Reflecting on my workouts So I'm doing the Plateau busting challenge here on Spark, and the challenge for today is to reflect on my current work-out status. Well, Since Tues, I've been walking considerably more (5 miles, according to my fitbit) since I have to take Nate to school now, and I have to walk him there and back. It's a long day - his class starts at 12:30, so we leave around noon, walk to school, then me and my youngest walk to Starbucks (or the park, if it's nice) Then at 3:00 we walk back to pick him up... Thu, 22 Sep 2016 09:37:30 EST Overwhelmed <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Oh my gosh. I am so overwhelmed today. The kids have been sick, My oldest will not listen worth a darn. I woke up to my 1 year old walking out the bedroom door (!). Nate has been hitting, yelling, and being a melty mess. My youngest learned how to screech! (Oh joy)> And I swear, the entire world wants us to make plans and come over this weekend. Meanwhile, my head is exploding. I fe... Tue, 13 Sep 2016 15:09:21 EST Jumping jacks So I blogged the other day about doing 25 jumping jacks. So today I decided to try for 30. That was a mistake. I did it, but when I was done I literally almost fell over. I was light headed, and out of breath. Out of breath I expected, but not light headed. And I had leg cramps. Ugh. I guess I wasn't ready for that. <BR> <BR> So I paid for a subscription to Curvy Yoga. I'm excited, because it's a program that's done by fat people, so they have some great tips on how to get the bel... Sat, 10 Sep 2016 21:07:40 EST New Scale I got a new scale. Did my morning weigh-in. I don't like the new scale. It says I'm at 234. *sighs* I know, every scale is different, and it's just a number. But it's certainly not what the other scale said. I know there's progress. I'm seeing it in my measurements. But to see the scale almost where I started (237) is depressing as heck. I just feel like I gained 14 lbs. <em>46</em> Thu, 8 Sep 2016 23:48:12 EST I have written this blog so many times... In my head. I spent the afternoon at the local resale ahop. Hubby insisted I try some Larges instead of just xl. To my shocj, they fit! I would think at 228 I would be solidly in plus sizes, but I seem to be teetering between the two. A lot of what I tired one was too small, but a fair amount of the xls were baggy. I am also beginning to choose longer tops and blouses so I can wear my slacks under the overhanging tummy, instead of on top. My belly feels better when my pants are under it, but ... Mon, 5 Sep 2016 22:02:53 EST I'm antsy I'm really antsy tonight. I want to make over some things in my life right now, slow it down, and simplify it. I'm not overly sure where to start. Bedtime and morning times will probably be part of it. I know I don't get enough sleep, and part of that is due to how late I go to bed; part of it is that I rarely sleep well. Maybe I'll join the sleep challenge on here. I think there's one, right? <BR> <BR> Mornings are always so hectic too. I'm not a morning person, so the kids usually w... Sun, 4 Sep 2016 23:44:48 EST OMG, SERIOUSLY?! I did some jumping jacks. Good, old fashioned jumping jacks. I did 25 of them and I feel like I am going to fall over. When I tracked it, it asked how long, so I kept the default of 5 min because I have no idea how long it actually was. It said I burned 74 calories. THAT"S IT???? I am huffing and puffing, and I'm totally wiped. And it was only 74 measly calories???? <em>46</em> <BR> <BR> *falls over* <BR> <BR> So far, I'm pretty well on track for everything today! Now, if I can ... Sat, 3 Sep 2016 14:46:27 EST Looooottttsss of walking The boys and I walked to my son's school today to drop off paperwork, so that was about a mile (I think) then it was over to the local starbucks for awhile, then down past subway, off to the park, back toward subway again, then home. All told, I walked probably 3 miles today. I'm tired!! <BR> Food was good, especially since 2 of my meals were eaten out today. I weighed in on a different scale (a borrowed one, as I plan to buy a new one with payday) and I'm at 228. Again. *sighs* If I'm ... Wed, 31 Aug 2016 22:00:30 EST I got off track Boy, it's been a tiring day. I was up at 5;30 this morning, even earlier than normal with the boys. Wes was in our bed with his bottle after hubby got up and was puttering around getting ready for work. Well, Wes fell asleep, rolled, and fell on the floor. That woke me up. Which woke up Nate, who was sleeping next to me. I couldn't get any of us back down. Nate napped at 10:30, (WAY early) and Wes at about 12:30. I didn't get to nap at all. <BR> Calories have been off. It's been REA... Tue, 30 Aug 2016 21:39:13 EST Frustrated I ate pretty well today. Though according to my tracker, I didn't eat enough! I'm not sure why, but my tracker changed my calorie requirements, so now I'm confused. My range USED to be 1550-1700 or something like that. Now my low end is 1990! Um, what? <BR> I'm getting really tired of this journey to nowhere. Sun, 28 Aug 2016 23:52:03 EST Weigh-in confusion So I did my weigh-in today, and it came up at 230. I had done it last week and it was 220. THe week before that it was 225. My scale keeps sticking so I'm pretty sure we need a new one. I'm going to borrow one from Chris' aunt and redo my weigh in because even with a compltelty HORRID week (which it wasn't) I DOUBT I lost 5 lb, then gained 10 in the course of 3 weeks. Seems a it overkill to me. so I'm going to redo it. <BR> How was your weekend? Tomorrow is cooking day! :) Sat, 27 Aug 2016 20:30:04 EST Sugar craving OMG, I want SUGAR. I haven't had a craving like this in ages. It doesn't mater what it is, ice cream,, soda (BOY that sounds amazing!) candy, you name it. I am so tempted. I would go down and get some fruit or yogurt, but I honestly don't trust myself to go anywhere near the kitchen irght now. <BR> I don't know why I've got this craving today. I think I've had more sugar today than in awhile, so is that it? My body (or whatever causes cravings) wants me to "make up" for the lack of s... Tue, 23 Aug 2016 22:40:37 EST The Park We've been spending alot of time at the local parks lately. Today I decided to join in with my kids a bit. I got on the swing. I used to love the swing, but they're set at kid heights (of course) so it was harder to not drag my feet. Then I tried the monkey bars. I used to adore them. Yea, I tried to reach for the 2nd bar and fell. Oh well. I guess I'll try again tomorrow. LOL. My hands hurt from just that one try! <BR> <BR> My food went well today, lots of healthy choices. My e... Mon, 22 Aug 2016 23:05:07 EST Amazing day! <img src=""> <BR> Hubby and I got all the grocery shopping done today, and totally redid the cabinets. We got so many fresh fruits - apples, banana, grapes (rend and green) peaches & nectarines. We cooked enough for a week at least. I made turkey ham with sweet potatoes, and hubby made bbq chicken. We have been pleasantly surprised to see how much farther our grocery dollars stretch when we eat healthily!! I am u... Sun, 21 Aug 2016 22:40:48 EST I am very tired I am within calorie range! Yea! I really want an ice cream cone though...but that would take me over my range. So I'm going to see if we still have strawberries (We were low last I looked) because I just saw an idea in a spark article about strawberries and cool whip. That sounds like a good alternative, and it leaves me 40 calories under my high end. <BR> I think it will then be off to bed for me. Hubby is taking the boys with his dad to a movie in the park, so I think I will take the ... Thu, 18 Aug 2016 21:12:31 EST Living in the Moment I am over my calories for the day, and I haven't had supper yet. For some reason though, my weight loss and journey to health seems completely doable. It has never seemed that way. Like ever. I've over 100lbs to loose, and It seems like a very doable goal. I can actually see a path. Every drink, every meal. It's a choice. Healthy, or not so healthy. Active activity, or sedentary? <BR> <BR> Yes, there are of course curveballs, and health issues. Things are hard some days, and easie... Sun, 14 Aug 2016 20:52:56 EST Tired worn out day My inlaws were awesome and took both my 3yr old and my 1 year old today, and boy was it nice. Hubby worked night shift last night, and got to rest, and I got a bit of a break too. I so needed it. I'm tired and sore from moving my new bed yesterday. We'll put the mattress down tomorrow, since it needed to reinflate from being vaccum sealed. We could probably put it down tonight, but hubby and I are just too worn out. :( <BR> <BR> My drinks are out of control again today, but for the mo... Sat, 13 Aug 2016 20:27:06 EST Proud of myself! For the last 2 days I have cut my drink calories in half! I have been sure to get my soy in the form of a hot cup of soy tea in the morning, and getting something smaller at night. Very little soda. Having it planned ahead has helped. I have managed to curb the night time snacking more. I have managed to be very close to in calorie ranges both days. I have been over, but I also have my tracker separated from my fitness, so I think I'm still ok. Lastly, I did a full body st this evening. Th... Thu, 11 Aug 2016 23:59:24 EST