BEAUTY_WITHIN's SparkPeople Blog BEAUTY_WITHIN's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community awful doctor So I had my day of doctors today. First the regular ob who said everything looked good, then my blood work (yuck) then I killed some time shopping, then the high risk doctor. The care protocol for this baby is going to be pretty similar to that of Nate. Lots of ultrasounds, lots of non-stress tests (which have to be the most boring tests in the world!) <BR> The high risk doctor was awful. In the beginning of the appointment, he asked if this was my first pregnancy. I said no, it was my ... Wed, 10 Dec 2014 20:51:09 EST HAPPY THANKSGIVING! Well, today did not go as planned. Plans with my husband's grandma fell through, and my mom had already made other plans. We were supposed to go to the Thanksgiving day parade, except my husband got sick last night & woke up feeling lousy. So now he's crashed on the couch. :( <BR> <BR> But I do have a lot to be thankful for. For one thing, today is the first day of the 2nd trimester! While that doesn't mean that nothing can go wrong, chances are very good now that the baby will be ok... Thu, 27 Nov 2014 14:02:29 EST sooo tired I forget how tired and emotionally worn out I get when I'm pregnant. I've been looking after Nate, and working on my etsy shop, and doing some web work. I'm just a weepy, sleepy mess. And it's so COLD outside! <em>425</em> with the windchill it's like -8. Ugh. <BR> <BR> I feel like I'm letting my son down, but I just can't keep up. Thank goodness I have help! My food has been pretty good today, except the fruit loops for breakfast. which I have determined I don't like anymore. I... Tue, 18 Nov 2014 18:12:31 EST Today's blog I haven't been blogging regularly, so I thought I'd write. I realized, from looking back at the blogs from when I was pregnant with Nate, I focused ALOT more on food. So I definitely want to change that. <BR> <BR> On that note: <BR> I have SUCKED on the fruit & veggie front lately. Today, I've had 1 serving of veggies. That's it. I haven't had supper yet, so I'll be sure to have something with that. <BR> <BR> Water - I've done very well. I have 8 glasses today, and did yesterday as ... Fri, 14 Nov 2014 22:04:35 EST The Hot Chocolate Run It was awesome. I had originally set my goal for this to be the first 5k I entirely ran. However, between a sore foot, and getting pregnant again, I didn't train much. Oh well. I ended up in the walk section, that took a different route. At first I was really disappointed about this. But I jogged some at the beginning and end, and did a brisk walk the rest of the way. I kept worrying I'd be last in line, but there were a few places I could look back and see a long stream of people behind... Thu, 13 Nov 2014 11:19:02 EST Hot Chocolate Run This is the first race I wanted to run, a couple of years ago with Hot_Momma_13. We haven't made it yes, and my goal for this race is different than I wanted it to be. I wanted it to be the first race I ever ran entirely. Sadly, this won't be the case. Between the hurt foot, and the pregnancy, I haven't been able to train like I wanted to. But I will run what I can handle running, and that will give me a good benchmark to continue to work through. I'm sitting here waiting for my eggs t... Sat, 8 Nov 2014 21:02:02 EST Very introspective lately I haven't been on much lately except to track. I seem to be very my head, if that makes sense. I haven't felt the urge to really connect with people outside of the house lately. I'm sorry I've dissapeared lately. I just don't have a whole lot to say. <BR> Part of it is I'm trying to through the first trimester, and not worry too much about the baby. Which, I've seen a few times on ultrasound, with a good strong heartbeat! Yea! <BR> I don't what the rest of it is. I just hav... Fri, 7 Nov 2014 21:47:31 EST Well, shoot. Well, I WAS really proud of myself. And then I tracked. <em>24</em> <BR> <BR> I was proud for a few reasons. <BR> 1) I only had 1 poptart, instead of the 2 I normally have when I decide I want them. <BR> <BR> 2) I ordered a medium drink at Starbucks, instead of a large, hold the whip creme! <BR> <BR> 3) I opted for a greek yogurt with dried fruit, granola, and honey, instead of the pecan tart that was calling my name. <BR> <BR> I'm really proud of these choices! <em>243</em> ... Wed, 29 Oct 2014 18:36:15 EST Focusing on Food I have no restrictions on my activity levels, other than "listen to yourself" which I should be doing at all times anyway. But what I'm really going to focus on right now is my food. This baby is pickier than Nate was. I've served myself food so often, sat down only to go "No, I can't eat that". <BR> So this next week is going to be focusing on the healthiest food I can manage. First step is to make sure I'm getting my 5 servings of fruits and veggies, as I'm noticing a trend in my eati... Sat, 25 Oct 2014 23:41:02 EST What's been going on I know I'm not blogging much. There's been so much going on in my head, that I don't know where to start. I have been lax on my fitness. I think I'm barely at 500 minutes this month, and I'm not even sure I've gotten to that. Considering I normally top out at over 2,000, that's horrible for me. <BR> <BR> I'm afraid for this pregnancy. I'm afraid that I'll do too much or too little, or eat too much or too little and something will go wrong. I've hod no problems, but I'm worried anyway... Sun, 19 Oct 2014 20:14:24 EST Haven't been around much I've been dealing with alot of the same feelings I had when I was pregnant with Nate. I am eating constantly (When I don't feel sick, that is!) and it's hard to remember that I'm pregnant, not just slipping. I need to really focus on eating well. I've been wearing my pregnancy clothes simply because I need to FEEL the pregnancy. I need to feel what's going on with my body even if it's not showing yet. <BR> Otherwise I just get upset and want to restrict what I'm doing. <BR> Fitness ha... Fri, 10 Oct 2014 01:09:00 EST So lost I have my first appointment with my midwife tomorrow. And I'm glad. I keep worrying that I'm going to overdo it, but then I feel like I'm not doing enough. As for food, I go from not even REMOTELY hungry to "RAOR!!!! FEED ME NOW!!!!" in a matter of seconds. And of course then I look for food to eat and the idea of all of it makes me feel sick. <BR> *sighs* <BR> and I'll have plenty of energy and suddenly "yank" no energy! I can't win!!! First trimester is hard. There's so much goi... Sun, 5 Oct 2014 19:59:52 EST From sad to happy As I've said in previous posts, this is the month my baby would have been born. She was due in September. Well, obviously, she didn't make it. <BR> HOWEVER. <BR> I'M PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!1 <em>79</em> .......... <em>236</em> I just tested positive yesterday! So I guess I'm back off the weight loss bandwagon. I'm going to continue tracking, however. It's a good way of telling what I'm eating and what I am lacking still. <BR> I thought I would be terrified when I got pregnant again tha... Wed, 1 Oct 2014 14:05:26 EST An update I've had a very long few days! Computer problems, unexpected financial stuff, to name a few. Thankfully, things seem to be doing better and calmer. Tonight is date night. I'm so looking forward to some nice, quiet time with my husband. we're gonna cuddle up at watch Cool Runnings, which is new on Netflix. I haven't seen the movie in years. <BR> Sunday is the Alzheimer's Walk. It's a 5K at Montrose Harbor, and it's a pretty walk. I haven't raised NEARLY what I wanted to, only $100 ou... Fri, 26 Sep 2014 17:43:58 EST Sad September I'm not sure anyone will ever read this. But my head is so full I don't know what else to do. My baby was due today. The baby I lost. I was supposed to have had her today. And she died. I've been pretty depressed this month, and I'm sure that's at least most of it. My in-laws are convinced I'll conceive again this month. My MIL had a dream just before I announce my pregnancy with Nate that she was going to be a grandma to a baby boy. A week or so ago, she had the same dream, but it ... Sat, 20 Sep 2014 22:12:27 EST Weird question, please don't laugh I'm planning on going to lunch with my cousin in about an hour. I've had breakfast, and I'm out shopping. And I HAVE to eat. I've got a headache , my tummy hurts, generally just feeling yuck. So I'm eating. <BR> Problem is, I feel bad about it. Like I shouldn’t be eating because I'm planning on eating out in a little bit. I know where this comes from - I can almost hear my mom saying "and this is why you're so fat." I'm aware my body needs to eat, so I am, but I feel ashamed about it. An... Fri, 12 Sep 2014 13:24:44 EST My style is changing A few weeks ago, I posted pictures about an outfit that actually bared my midriff (gasp!). Today, I pulled out an old shirt that buttons, but gaps a little over my breasts. So instead of getting angry and frustrated like I normally would, I pulled out a tank top, put it underneath, then tied the shirt under my chest & tucked the tank into my pants. Everyone said I looked really good. I'm still stuck at 226, but that's ok. <em>236</em> <BR> <BR> My taste for sugar has been ebbing aw... Wed, 10 Sep 2014 14:53:52 EST So far so good! So I washed my shoes as per an article they found. So far so good. They came out NOT smelly, and they didn't fall apart. They are currently drying. I didn't want to risk the dryer, tho that article claimed I could dry them. Better safe than sorry. I'd rather not be able to wear them a few days than risk them being ruined. <BR> Food wise, I'm doing well. I'v only had a glass or 2 of water today, and I haven't done a whole lot. If my shoes are dry, I'll go running tonight. If not, I'... Fri, 5 Sep 2014 13:44:37 EST Vent I am SO frustrated, angry, and annoyed! <em>239</em> My cat peed in my new running shoes!!! They are completely ruined. And they reek to high heaven. Of course it's the ONLY thing he peed on. He couldn't have gone on like, my $5 flipflops. Oh no, it had to be my $60 running shoes. I can't really afford to replace them, but I don't have much of a choice. I didn't have the money to get JUST running shoes, so they also work as my everyday shoes. (Not good, I know, but it'll have to ... Thu, 4 Sep 2014 15:26:53 EST SO self-conscious today! I'm am feeling so self-conscious today. I'm dressing a bit outside of my comfort zone. I was shopping yesterday, and I got some cute shorts as a gift from my aunt (they're just a hair too big, maybe half a size or so), a midriff top that I really like (!) and some chunky heeled clogs. My husband thinks I look great. I'm REALLY self-conscious. I think I look good. I think...LOL. I feel like everyone's staring at me though logically I'm pretty sure they could give a hoot about what I'm w... Tue, 2 Sep 2014 15:19:47 EST weekend at mom's It's been a good weekend. We're going home tomorrow night. Once again she actually had something for me to have for lunch, and made a healthy dinner. I was even brave enough to go for a run after supper. I ran a mile of interval training. With HILLS!! I forgot there were bunny hills here. They aren't big, but they were hard to run! <BR> I came back to the house prepared for snide comments about how I did or didn't run. (Defensive, me??) And got handed a bottle of water and asked how m... Sun, 31 Aug 2014 22:31:16 EST sad My parents - my mom and my step dad - have been divorced since I was 15. Since then, I've had contact with my stepbrother, and only rarely my stepdad. It's been hard. I was "friends" with my stepdad on Facebook - till last night. Long story very short, my dad is very conservative, and I'm not. He posts alot of political stuff online, and I made the mistake of commenting on an article he posted. I had a very logical argument, and most of his friends conceded that I was correct, in regar... Wed, 27 Aug 2014 22:08:19 EST Down by 2! I'm down by 2 lbs! And a weird NSV - I noticed my shoulder area (?) looks trimmer....not 100% HOW it looked different, but it did. Maybe it was a little more muscle. Have you ever had that? You know something looks better & different, but you can't put your finger on what's changed? That was last night. <BR> <BR> At long last, the storm has broke, taking with it the humidity. It's 73 & GORGEOUS! It's about time. <BR> <BR> <img src=" Tue, 26 Aug 2014 15:56:33 EST I FINALLY got to run! It was finally cool enough for me to run today. I haven't been doing the couch to 5K challenge, but that's ok. There's a street by the house that's about a half mile stretch with a good hill. I've been using that as my training ground right now. It's a block away from the house, and a block away from the Starbucks I work at. So I walk the first block as my warm up, do my interval training for the half mile, then walk the last block home. That's the downhill half. I'm going to wait a we... Tue, 26 Aug 2014 01:14:27 EST An AWESOME derailment I had planned on going running this evening. Hubby had an unhappy tummy this afternoon so he took a nap when I was planning on originally running. Ok, no problem, I'll go in the evening; it'll be cooler anyway. So he got up, and I was chilling on the couch while he ate and got moving and everything. He was chatting with a friend on text while he ate. Turns out his friend had a free ticket to the Chicago Symphony Orchestra to go see a SOLD OUT performance of Final Fantasy. I went. I LOV... Mon, 25 Aug 2014 01:48:57 EST Frustration Today was an exercise in frustration. Crabby me, crabby Nate, too humid weather, plans fell through. I'm a bit bummed. Nothing went how I wanted. And the weather has been SO humid - 93% humidity, UGH. I don't dare run. I'm itching to, though. I've got a race to train for! <BR> I'm struggling with food. I don't know why. I just seem to be completely snacky lately, and we need to go grocery shopping. It seems like the food dissapears overnight, and there's usually more junk in the h... Sun, 24 Aug 2014 01:00:00 EST Me, a runner. So, today I WAY overate at dinner. It was SO good, but I felt so icky when I was done. I haven't done that in a LONG time. It was the biggest meal of the day, and it's the one that put me over. The rest of the day was pretty moderate. <BR> Today was supposed to be a running day, but I ran yesterday instead of Tuesday, so I didn't run today. I can't decide how to handle this. If I had run today, I would run again on Sunday, Sat being my off day. But if I don't run tomorrow, I won't ru... Fri, 22 Aug 2014 00:12:25 EST Disappointing run Well, I ran. Which I'm proud of. And I don't know if I didn't warm up well, or not, but it was not a good run. My tailbone was NOT happy. This isn't uncommon for me, and it's due to muscle weakness following an ancient injury. If I don't keep strengthening it, it flares up. <BR> Then my arches hurt. From the outside of my arch to the top of my heel. I'm not sure ]was going on. I'm thinking I didn't warm up properly. I'll try that on the next run day and see if it helps. Otherwise... Wed, 20 Aug 2014 20:20:29 EST No running today :( Running just didn't happen today. I'm disappointed. First it was too humid. Then the humidity broke, hooray! But that I had something weird that my tummy didn't like. It settled down and I had dinner, thinking I'd run after. Yea, by then it was pitch black out. BOOO. Oh well. I guess tomorrow's another day. But I'm supposed to go biking tomorrow...hmm, not sure how that'll work out. <BR> I didn't track as I went today, and I found that (when I did track) I'm literally 2 calories f... Tue, 19 Aug 2014 22:17:26 EST I slept like a LOG! Some of you may remember from earlier blogs that I have trouble sleeping. Not last night. Hooray! I slept SO well. I was sleepy - not just tired - by 9:45. For someone who generally goes to bed at 1, then tosses and turns for another hour or so, this was awesome. <BR> So I made some hot tea, grabbed my book, and read for another hour or so. (I'm very guilty of the 'just one more page' syndrome!). I was asleep by probably 11:30 or midnight. And I slept. THROUGH. THE. NIGHT. Didn't ... Mon, 18 Aug 2014 13:52:23 EST An AHA! Moment! I was reading a blog by STEPH-KNEE, and I just had a lightbulb moment! <BR> <BR><BR>_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5760661 <BR> <BR> She was saying how she shuts down sometimes when she feels overwhelmed. I've noticed that I tend to say, "well at least I'm not...(Fill in the blank)" or "At least I didn't do...(fill in the blank)". This may sound like I'm not focusing on the negative, and I'm not, but it also means that I'm accepting a lower stan... Sun, 17 Aug 2014 21:20:36 EST Today's analysis I think I need to change what I'm doing. My body seems to have gotten very efficient at walking. That has been my main form of activity lately. I'm getting lots of steps in. But I'm not making any progress. I don't like how the new tracker works; and I think I'm going to see if there's still a way to unhook them, and see if that helps. I'm going to focus on eating the base calories again, the 1200-1500. <BR> I'm also going to re-add my strength training, as I am HORRIBLE at doing ST. ... Sun, 17 Aug 2014 00:46:12 EST My first race This race was horrible. Bad organization to start with. They herded us like cattle and noone had a clue what the course was. Then, once we got started, the course was 3/4 gravel and 1/4 blacktop. Ow. My old tailbone injury was screaming a quarter of the way in. The gravel was kicking my butt. 1 guy took a nosedive. People cept stopping midcourse, and the color stations were a complete deadlock. Then my knee went out. <BR> There was 1 water station halfway through. Even that was a disor... Fri, 15 Aug 2014 23:34:13 EST Race day!! Today is the Blacklight Run race. I'm doing it with Bigpawsup & Hot_momma_13. Can't wait! I haven't been able to train like I wanted, so I'll likely end up walking a good deal of it, but that's okay. It is still going to be TONS of fun! It's going to be a late night though, the last wave of people STARTS at 10:15. I guess they're having us all run in waves, then go to the afterparty. There's a before-party, and an after party. <BR> I almost opted to not go to this at all, since I hav... Fri, 15 Aug 2014 14:33:09 EST Day 24 - SOOO Tired I went to the field museum again today. We had a great time. My son ran around the kid's section for awhile, then we went and saw the World's Fair exhibit. It was really interesting, but not worth the $11 entrance fee. My feet are so tired. I'm at 9,113 steps though, so I WILL get my 10,000 steps. Just not this minute. I don't think I finished tracking yesterday's food yesterday. Oops. I've had good days and bad lately. I wanted to do some ST today, but I think I'm just going to be t... Thu, 14 Aug 2014 20:29:03 EST Day 20 in review, day 21, and some NSVs Note to self - not tracking a weight gain makes it hard to post when I DO loose, even if it's the same handful of pounds I've been arguing with. So I went ahead, backtracked a week or so, and posted the gain, then posted the loss. I'm down a lb! Yea! :) My father also commented that I'd lost weight, and I noticed that my clothes are fitting funny. A bit loose, mostly in the chest. You loose weight in the weirdest ways, or at least I do! My feet, my hands, my chest...How about my stoma... Mon, 11 Aug 2014 12:41:36 EST Day 17 in review, and day 18 My calories were in goal yesterday, and I managed lots of fitness minutes. Yea! <BR> <BR> Today is a free day at the Field Museum, so I took Nathan. Chris was working a temp job, so he couldn't go. I had a good, healthy, filling breakfast before we left, and off we went! Nate fell asleep on the way, so when we got there we headed straight for the kid's section. He had a blast. Lots to explore, lots to touch and hit and jingle. After the kid's section, I only let Nathan walk in spurts ... Fri, 8 Aug 2014 21:28:38 EST Day 17, and 16 in review I wrote a blog yesterday. And then accidentally deleted it. I never got around to rewriting it. I went bike riding yesterday. 2 miles. OMG. My upper legs (quads?) ACHED today. I'm not used to biking being a serious exercise. But in all reality, I haven't done any serious biking since I got pregnant with Nate. My bike had been stolen shortly before then, and by the time I had the money to replace it, I was pregnant. Since I figured I'd have trouble riding as I got farther along, I d... Thu, 7 Aug 2014 18:38:30 EST day 10 in review and day 11 Yesterday went well. Nice and relaxing. I had an interview with a temp agency that went really well. Food was good, I think. I think I fell asleep before I tracked it all. I know I managed my water. I got my steps in, and I think I could have done more!! Wow!! <BR> As I write this I'm sitting in a park. Chris and I got up early for a free yoga class in the park, but we couldn't find it. :( Too bad. I was looking forward to it. So Chris walked laps and I did some yoga on my own. It was sti... Thu, 31 Jul 2014 11:14:37 EST Day 10 I had a good time at my mom's. We all sat outside in her gazebo, and Nate's Grandpa bought him a blow up pool which he loved playing in. <BR> <BR> My mom surprised me, very presently. Normally she heckles me about "eating too much or too often" when I'm at her house. This time, however, she actually went out of her way to stock the fridge with extra water, and to purchase several small meals for me to have throughout the day. None of it was very healthy, but it was tasty, and VERY much ... Mon, 28 Jul 2014 21:48:03 EST Day 6 in Review, and Day 7 Well, with the exception of being under calories yesterday, I had a pretty great day. Good amount of water, lots of freggies, TONS of activity. I'm really proud that I walked my 10,000 steps and was actually surprised to see the number on the fitbit counter. It used to be that I would be EXHAUSTED by walking that much. Not now! And I'm really happy with that. <BR> Today so far I'm high on carbs. I was also high on calories, at least for what I have planned for dinner (It's pizza night... Fri, 25 Jul 2014 18:45:28 EST Day 6 in Review, and Day 7 Well, with the exception of being under calories yesterday, I had a pretty great day. Good amount of water, lots of freggies, TONS of activity. I'm really proud that I walked my 10,000 steps and was actually surprised to see the number on the fitbit counter. It used to be that I would be EXHAUSTED by walking that much. Not now! And I'm really happy with that. <BR> Today so far I'm high on carbs. I was also high on calories, at least for what I have planned for dinner (It's pizza night... Fri, 25 Jul 2014 18:45:28 EST Day 5 in review & day 6 Things are going well. Calories were in range yesterday, I just completely forgot to blog. I have not been remembering to measure though, so that's something to rectify. I'm under calories today, cause I didn't realize I'd walked 10,000 steps till it was past dinnertime! I'm having a smoothie before bed, but that's still putting me under. <BR> And that's a NSV - not that long ago 10,000 steps would have felt like walking to the MOON! Today, I'm only a bit tired. Yea!! :) <BR> <BR> O... Fri, 25 Jul 2014 00:08:42 EST Day 3 review, and day 4 I chose to be over calorie yesterday. This was a choice I made. It was 80 calories, and it was a smoothie. I didn't have enough fruit, and I was a little snacky still. (Someone pointed out that this had to do with my lack of sleep from the night prior, thanks again for that!) <BR> Most of my food were good, if not all clean, choices. I'm getting a handle on saying "no" to the junk food in the house, partly because I'm allowing myself serving size of things if I really want them, and I'm... Tue, 22 Jul 2014 18:17:46 EST Day 2 review and day 3 Yesterday ended with me in calorie range. I slept horribly; I'm not sure I ever got "deep". <BR> I got up at 7 as I was supposed to go to the zoo today. There had been a weather advisory for those with asthma. I didn't think it would bother me. I forgot about the high pollen count. I got up, went to the bathroom, and had such a hard time breathing well. My chest was SO tight. So back to the bedroom I went. (we don't have central air) Back to bed I went. Got up at 10. Not much bett... Mon, 21 Jul 2014 20:59:16 EST Day 2, and Day 1 in review <em>104</em> I had a good day yesterday. Lots of walking, I picked up a few much-needed necessities at the store, and made some great choices at the restaurant we went to. Yea! <em>104</em> <BR> <BR> Today is going well too. I've had a cup of cereal for breakfast, with a quarter cup of milk, I even remembered to MEASURE! my lunch - something I never remember to do. <BR> <BR> This, I suspect, is probably the bane of my weight loss. I think I have very little portion control. ... Sun, 20 Jul 2014 18:13:15 EST I'm so done. I've been here for 3 years. I've accomplished very little, weight loss wise. I'm so done. <BR> <BR> I've seen pictures of me. I'm huge. I'm exhausted after chasing my son (who isn't running yet! ) for 15 minutes. I hate clothing shopping. It's so hard to find anything unless I'm at Torrid or Lane Bryant. <BR> <BR> I'm so done being like this. I want to feel better. I want to keep up with Nate. I want to to buy cute clothes and look pretty again. I'm so done being like this. <BR> <BR> ... Sat, 19 Jul 2014 13:41:03 EST New shoes I Finally got new shoes today! ! I've been needing them for ages.and it made such a difference. My feet don't hurt nearly as much, and neither does my back. It's not 100% yet, but I comfortably got in about 3 miles before it started to hurt. I am hoping that in the next week I may actually be able to do some running! I would love to. I really so miss it. <BR> I am so thrilled with my new shoes! :) Sat, 19 Jul 2014 01:54:40 EST I hurt... I wrote a couple of days ago about having sciatica issues. It's been feeling alot better lately. So today I went to the farmer's market with my family (got some GREAT fresh fruits & veggies!) Then walked up to the train station to meet my mom for dinner. This had been probably about 2 or 2.5 miles by now. I wasn't even THINKING about my sciatica. I walked back to the train, and I was supposed to have a 2 block walk from the bus stop to the house. <BR> <BR> Yea, about halfway to the tr... Thu, 17 Jul 2014 23:44:04 EST The week's catch up It's been about a week since I blogged. I've been tracking, but I just haven't felt like talking. No reason, really. Just didn't want to. <em>41</em> <BR> I've been having a lot of problems with my lower half. I have an old injury from 09 that makes my tailbone ache if I don't keep the muscles strong enough. And apparently, I haven't been, cause it's been achy. :( Then I've had that odd pain near my middle toe by the ball of the foot. It comes and goes. Then yesterday I had a ... Mon, 14 Jul 2014 15:31:39 EST