BEATLETOT's SparkPeople Blog BEATLETOT's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Baby Well, my induction did not happen. This guy had other ideas. My water broke on Wednesday night, and I rushed to the hospital. I was in labor all night Wednesday and all day Thursday, and after about 22 hours, my doctor said that my kiddo wasn't dropping, and I wasn't dilating, so we were off for a C-section. <BR> <BR> At that point, I think my body had gotten used to the epidural dosing, and I just couldn't. I couldn't push for a few minutes, let alone a few hours, if I was going to feel it.... Mon, 16 Apr 2018 00:56:39 EST I QUIT! I'm Giving Up On My Resolution! It wasn't really a Spark-worthy resolution. I'm still eating healthy and exercising and following that plan, since it wasn't really a New Year's Resolution--I'm doing more or less what I've been doing since I found out I was pregnant, but maybe with more gusto. <BR> <BR> The resolution I'm talking about is to stop swearing. I cuss SO MUCH. With a baby on the way, I figured I'd needed to clean up my mouth, and I remember when I worked on the college campus, walking in front of at least two pa... Thu, 11 Jan 2018 09:35:14 EST Major Changes "There are gonna be some major changes around here. Major changes." <BR> "Major Changes." The Middle, created by Eileen Heisler and DeAnn Heline, performance by Patricia Heaton, season 3, episode 3, Warner Brothers, 2011. <BR> <BR> In that episode, Frankie is talking about the way the family takes her for granted. I have major changes of a different sort coming up. <BR> <BR> I'm pregnant. <em>79</em> <BR> <BR> <em>380</em> <em>244</em> <em>591</em> (I think that's a funny one to... Wed, 11 Oct 2017 15:19:24 EST Fatigue Intrigue I have been an absolute mess lately. Most days, I can't think, I can't function, I feel like I'm sleeping awake. I can't read or write often, and I am useless at work. There are days when any email response longer than a "Thanks!" takes a Herculean effort on my part. I used to be really sharp, but now I feel like my brain is soft and mushy, and my mind is in a fog. <BR> <BR> It's gotten really bad and frustrating, so I started out figuring I would just try different healthy behaviors to see ... Wed, 12 Jul 2017 19:01:36 EST No Autographs, Please...Well, Okay, Maybe Just a Few! <em>304</em> <em>304</em> <em>304</em> <em>304</em> <BR> <BR> I got an awesome email from SparkPeople today. It said I've been voted a Motivator! What a thrill! <BR> <BR> Thank you to anybody who is reading this who also nominated me over the decade I've been on SP. I honestly have no idea how many votes you need to get this lovely honor, but I know it's more than one, because I nominate people all the time, and it just leaves a message saying I did. That means that at least TW... Mon, 29 May 2017 23:03:02 EST Too Short... Today, I hit an almost-milestone. If I were as tall as my driver's license says I am, I'd be a normal BMI! <BR> <BR> Since the DMV doesn't do decimals, I'm actually half an inch shorter, so I have to wait another 2 pounds to actually hit this milestone, but man, it feels SO GOOD to be SO CLOSE! <BR> <BR> I already hit a pretty cool milestone last week. I've been doing the 5% Challenges for YEARS, and for the FIRST TIME, I lost my 5%, with a couple weeks to spare! What a thrill! <BR> <BR> ... Thu, 2 Mar 2017 22:25:32 EST Did We Do the Right Thing? We got some very bad news today. My husband's stepfather passed away this morning. It was very sudden--he was playing soccer with his kids on Sunday. <BR> <BR> I came home to help my husband make arrangements to get down to Peru, board the dog and all the other things that need to be done. He was thinking to leave tomorrow, but the funeral is Thursday, and after my siblings missed my grandmother's memorial because of flight delays back in August, I thought it would be better to leave today. ... Tue, 14 Feb 2017 20:39:22 EST My 10-Year Sparkversary: The Ballad of BEATLETOT <em>507</em> <em>507</em> <BR> <BR> REBECCATKD noted on my previous Sparkversary blog that the blog...wasn't really much of a blog. She said it much nicer than that, of course, but made the very legitimate point that it would be more interesting to read about what I've learned and experienced in ten years, and not so much about the number on the scale, which, if you read the previous blog, you will know is basically the same number on the scale when I selected a username 10 years ago. ... Mon, 6 Feb 2017 20:32:43 EST A Decade on SparkPeople <em>511</em> So I guess today is my ten-year Sparkversary! <em>511</em> <BR> <BR> Lots of people write about these Sparkversaries. I never really have, but I get why others do. For many, the day they joined SP is THE day they took charge and decided to change their lives. <BR> <BR> Today, on my Sparkversary, I weigh... <BR> <BR> About a pound more than I weighed ten years ago today. <BR> <BR> Or something. Silly me restarted my program back in 2014 for what I am sure were really goo... Mon, 6 Feb 2017 08:19:43 EST Cruze-in' So after I posted my blog yesterday, I decided I had to go back and get a different car. My husband was trying to be nice, so he agreed to do all the talking. We arrived and the salesman we worked with yesterday was outside. He was surprised to see us, but we found me a BEAUTIFUL car. It's a red Chevy Cruze LTZ, with heated leather seats and a rear camera. It is very cute, much cuter than a Malibu! I feel SO much better--I feel like you should feel when you buy a car. <BR> <BR> I felt sheepi... Sun, 11 Dec 2016 16:05:00 EST Buyer's Remorse We bought a car today. I don't feel very good about it. I am actually really upset, because I just feel like it's not that great of a car. I went to go test drive a Prius, but I didn't like it that much. The display reminded me too much of my parents' 1994 Lincoln Town Car when I was a kid. Then the man said he had a 2014 Chevy Malibu. My best friend had a Chevy Malibu in college, so I thought it would be fine to test drive it. With a baseline from the Prius, I liked the Malibu more, but I di... Sat, 10 Dec 2016 20:49:25 EST Is Tomorrow the Day? I feel like I should start with clarification, since it seemed like I was saying I don't like blogging in my previous blog, and it also seemed like I was disappointed about no one wanting my letters. <BR> <BR> But neither is the case! <BR> <BR> I like blogging. I didn't mean that blogging is hard. I meant blogging on command is hard! I can go months without blogging, until I have something that I want to blog about. Having this challenge this week was great, because I got to get a bunch of... Fri, 18 Nov 2016 21:38:24 EST Blogging Ain't Easy Last night and tonight, I've spent an inordinate amount of time blinking with the cursor on my computer screen, browsing Reddit for inspiration, staring into space, and trying to ignore the Spanish news programs my husband was watching, all trying to figure out what the heck I should write about, but finding these 5% Challenge points too easily-gained to not write something. Last night, I wrote about my hobby, writing letters, but probably not in a very persuasive sort of way, since I got exa... Thu, 17 Nov 2016 21:34:26 EST Writing Letters My hobby is writing letters. It started when I quit smoking four years ago. I'd go to CVS where I used to buy cigarettes (and now you can't buy them there any more!), and buy stickers instead. Once I had too many to know what to do with, I decided I'd cover letters in them, because what else am I going to do with a bunch of stickers? <BR> <BR> So if you want one, send me a SparkMail, and I'll write you one. <BR> <BR> Wed, 16 Nov 2016 22:04:45 EST Older And...? If you look on the internet, you'll find quotes attributed to several people, the gist of which is, "We judge others by their actions and ourselves by our intentions." <BR> <BR> I remember being young and just becoming aware of intangible ideas like intent, consequences, and responsibility. I'd behave in a way I knew was wrong, and I'd assume that the adults around me understood that I was enduring growing pains and judged me thusly, not taking any slights seriously and being able to more or... Tue, 15 Nov 2016 22:05:41 EST Fresh I walked from the train to work today. The closest Metro station from my office is about a 12-15 minute walk. There's another stop that's a 25 minute walk, but it's five stops and a transfer closer, so I figure that more than makes up for the 10 minutes difference. Plus, there's always someone playing music at the top of this station, and it makes me smile. I can hear the music from the bottom of the escalator, so I smile all the way up. <BR> <BR> Maybe it was the walk in relatively cold wea... Mon, 14 Nov 2016 21:05:07 EST Back When a Walk Wasn't Inconvenient While I continue pondering what I used to do "right," when I wasn't overweight, I remember that in my senior year of college, I went to the gym everyday. There was one day when I had a big test, and I was so tired, so I decided beforehand that I wasn't going to go, but by late afternoon, I was so jumping out of my skin that I put on my workout pants and kicks and made it to the gym, anyway. I remember it so specifically, because I recall walking through a shortcut through a little plaza and m... Sun, 13 Nov 2016 18:12:15 EST Back When I Didn't Care I'm talking about when I didn't care so much about food! What happened? Why did things change? <BR> <BR> When I was a high schooler, food just didn't seem to be a thing, you know? I remember going to school with an orange for breakfast (that I'd eat with a Coke from the vending machine). For a short time, my friends and I were into British culture (it's in the screen name!) and had the latest lunch at school (2-2:30). We decided we would be really cool if we had afternoon tea instead of lunc... Sat, 12 Nov 2016 21:32:35 EST A 135-Pound Lifestyle I've been hovering between 135 and 138 for a really, really long time. Months, I dare say. Probably at least five months. I know what's happening--I'm eating too much--sneaking too many nibbles here and there and not tracking them, or adding an extra spoonful to something I've already weighed. And I'm not moving around enough, using my foot as an excuse and letting my husband make excuses to skip the gym, too. It's bad business. <BR> <BR> I realized this morning (on the train--I'm on the tra... Thu, 10 Nov 2016 23:04:19 EST "Imagine No Possessions" Ah, in America, we love our cars. I bet if I asked you to tell me about your first car (and I am, so feel free to post your story below), it would read like puppy love. Mine does... <BR> <BR> I bought it for $500 in 2008. I was 25. I hadn't driven in probably at least 6, possibly 7, years. It was a 1997 Plymouth Neon. The A/C never worked, and the tape deck had a tape stuck in it (not that it mattered, because I owned precisely zero tapes in 2008). It was just convenient to buy and too good ... Sat, 5 Nov 2016 22:46:43 EST Insufferable But All Right First, let me say thanks to all my friends who commented on my last blog that was probably a pretty annoying whine. I'd been sitting on those feelings for awhile, so when I let them out, they were very agitated, and they agitated me. <BR> <BR> I had a wonderful actual birthday. I didn't get to do anything super-special, but I had some friends over for pizza, cookie cake and games, but games didn't happen, because we sat around talking until close to midnight. That was nice. <BR> <BR> But th... Tue, 18 Oct 2016 18:23:42 EST Birthday Eve Tomorrow is my birthday, and for the first time ever, I'm really dreading it. <BR> <BR> It started a week ago, when I was texting with my friend whose birthday was Monday, and she said that she thought she'd be further along in life than she was at this point. She's 27 as of Monday. And what have I done with my 34 years? Nothing. <BR> <BR> I'm working the same dead-end job I had at my friend's previous age (though with a two-year hell-atus that made the first four months back at this job he... Thu, 13 Oct 2016 22:26:36 EST Oct-Sober and Other Things I haven't written a blog in a long time. There are a lot of ideas swirling in my head, and I think, "This is brilliant! I should TOTALLY blog about it!" but then I don't. They continue to swirl, and maybe someday, I'll write them all down. <BR> <BR> Starting on September 30, I'm giving up alcohol. I don't have a drinking problem, but I do like a beer in the evening, and I think that it's really cutting into my deficit. My deficit is already really kind of sad, as a 4'10.5", 33-year-old woman... Tue, 27 Sep 2016 22:32:57 EST Fremdscham I've been watching the probably unsurprising uproar about the changes to the SparkPages since I first clicked on a blog link on my Friend Feed and realized there was a change. The changes are fine. I agree that the old pages looked, well, old. These are more modern, and everything is still there. <BR> <BR> My feelings toward the people who were upset by the changes have morphed from sympathy to amusement to fremdscham to utter disgust. <BR> <BR> I understood them first. I saw myself in the ... Sun, 22 May 2016 14:41:06 EST SparkPeople's "Customer" Service This is so the kind of blog that I would pretend that I was going to register a very serious complaint, but I just can't today. <BR> <BR> <em>252</em> <em>252</em> <em>252</em> <em>252</em> <em>252</em> <em>252</em> <em>252</em> <BR> <BR> On Tuesday, while getting out of my friend's car, my SparkPeople Activity Tracker got caught on something and broke off. <em>40</em> <BR> <BR> I posted to the SPAT team about my broken clip, and Coach Jen told me to send my address, and they'... Sun, 8 May 2016 11:48:43 EST Self-Care Sunday: Trails, Beer and Cookies The last blog I wrote, I thought I was really focusing on the comfort of sitting down to a really corny movie, but most of the comments were about Self-Care Sunday, so I thought I'd write another one about what I did today for Self-Care Sunday. <BR> <BR> I was going to go to the gym for 45 minutes today, but we did some yardwork instead. I kind of wanted to skip, but my husband had asked me to pick up something from the grocery store that is next to the gym, so I started to get ready to head... Sun, 24 Apr 2016 19:17:06 EST A Hallmark Weekend My husband was gone again this weekend. After the last time, I would get the very occasional pang, "Man, I wish I had watched Hallmark Channel movies while he was gone." Weird, right? <BR> <BR> I never watch those. I watch the Hallmark Channel, because they have reruns of the Middle and the Golden Girls, and I see the cheesy commercials. I had put them in the same drawer of my mind as I do the Lifetime movies. I mean, the content is completely different, but they're both corny with bad actin... Sun, 17 Apr 2016 19:45:15 EST Freedom I dropped my husband off at the airport tonight. I now have nine days, just me and the dog. <BR> <BR> Whatever will I do? Suggestions? <BR> <BR> Right now, we are chilling on the couch. I am going to the library to do some research this weekend. I'll have some time for a Self-Care Sunday. I'll hit the gym several times. I'd like to drop a couple pounds... <BR> <BR> I don't have to cook because my husband does that, so he made sure I'm all stocked up on split peas, tuna salad, and "peanut ... Fri, 18 Mar 2016 20:41:26 EST Pretty Low It's been a rough month. <BR> <BR> I've been committed to visit my grandmother once a year for the last several years. My plan for this year was to go see her in April for her 91st birthday. I say "my" like it was mine, but it wasn't. My sister had a baby and wanted to introduce her to her great-grandmother in April for her birthday. These visits can be very difficult, so I wanted to tag along to have support when it got sad. <BR> <BR> Last month, my grandmother had some diagnostic care don... Sun, 21 Feb 2016 15:56:22 EST Weighing Everyday - The Evolution I think some people might feel strongly on this issue. Should one weigh everyday? Or will it just cause neurosis? There are ups and downs on the scale. You don't want to be so obsessed with a number. Or discouraged if you have a higher number due to water weight, food in your belly, hormones, etc., etc.... <BR> <BR> I used to think I wanted to weigh myself frequently, because *what if* a day I missed is the day that I actually showed a loss? Because weight loss was so mysterious and elusive,... Sun, 4 Oct 2015 07:57:57 EST Have Only Been Maintaining - Bonus! A Cool Tool Do you know why I haven't really been losing anything, just sticking with the same three or so pounds the last little while? Hormones? Genetics? <BR> <BR> Nope. Check this out: <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> And there's the answer. I've been eating at maintenance. Not cool for someone trying to lose weight. <BR> <BR> I just got back from a camping trip with my really fit friends. It's always a little embarra... Mon, 7 Sep 2015 22:00:39 EST More Weight Loss Sanity I read this article today. I skipped the top section, but the rest was a good read, a good reminder of the definition of a calorie and how weight loss occurs: <BR> <BR> <link><BR>-in-nutrition/ </link> Mon, 8 Jun 2015 18:51:20 EST Now I Understand Why I Haven't Been Losing Weight! Here are a couple really good articles that put a lot of what we hear about weight loss into perspective: <BR> <BR> <link><BR>i-not-losing-weight/ </link> <BR> <BR> This one I read awhile ago and loved it. Someone had linked to it under an SP article. I think about it often and was glad to stumble on it, linked from the above blog. It's by the same writer: <BR> <BR> <link><BR>ode/ </link> Thu, 28 May 2015 18:45:27 EST Please, Take Care of Yourselves Today, I Googled a friend of mine from high school. He was actually a work friend, and the older cousin of a good friend. He was morbidly obese. He would eat an entire container of Cool Whip after a bucket of fried chicken. His shirts were always stretched tight and busting at the seams. I remember him talking one day about how once he had better health insurance, he would get bariatric surgery. I remember him coming with his mom to pick us up from the mall on his 21st birthday. He kept a pic... Mon, 25 May 2015 17:30:21 EST Changing Focus I collect stickers. <BR> <BR> It started when I quit smoking. I used to walk into CVS and walk out with stickers instead of cigarettes (now you can't buy them there if you wanted to!), and it got a bit out of hand. People gift me with them, I buy them everywhere, and I just...I have a lot of stickers. <BR> <BR> I didn't know what to do with this large collection after it got large, so I decided I would write letters, smother them in stickers and send them to people. I committed to one lette... Fri, 22 May 2015 19:53:42 EST Excuses, excuses... I, um, "ride" my stationary bike while I watch TV (what DOES one do on a stationary bike?). I "ride" it while I watch The People's Court. I "ride" it while I watch Judge Judy, Roseanne and Suze. I "ride" it while I watch Blanche, Dorothy, Rose and Sophia. I "ride" it while I watch The Middle, which I am moderately obsessed with (that's an oxymoron, no? Moderately obsessed?). <BR> <BR> I could go on, but I won't. You get the picture. I watch too much TV, but I "ride" my bike while doing so. <... Tue, 24 Mar 2015 15:44:48 EST My Dissatisfaction With Spaghetti Geez, I can't believe it's been so long since I've had any thoughts to jot down and keep in mind regarding weight loss. <BR> <BR> I'm down 3.8 pounds since February 20. That's nice. I'm being very, very strict with No S. I cheated at No S A LOT for AWHILE, and the dumb thing about that is that it's just like eating a lot all the time. You have to DO it for it to work. <BR> <BR> I am doing better with it, because 1. EVERYTHING COUNTS. It COUNTS! If you sneak a sweet, it counts. If you don't ... Mon, 16 Mar 2015 19:49:45 EST A Few More Thoughts and Reactions Well, shucks, guys! Thanks so much for the suggestions and comments and questions!!! <BR> <BR> I have heard of muesli. I never eat it, though. I'm not a huge fan of yogurt, but what ACCEPTHECHALLENGE described sounds really yummy, and if it keeps me full, all the better. I do feel like I have my breakfasts down pat and know what I can and how much to eat to get me through to lunch, but hey, sometimes you gotta switch things up. <BR> <BR> When I said pasta doesn't fill me up, I meant any kin... Thu, 26 Feb 2015 04:02:03 EST Today's Thoughts I can't guarantee I'm going to do this everyday, but I realized that if I actually noted my thoughts about losing weight and the choices I make, and the things I do, I may recognize the patterns better than if I just try to keep them in my head. It won't be very organized, either, especially at first, because I'll be sort of catching up at the beginning. Nothing to see here, really. <BR> <BR> Breakfast: Peanut butter and banana sandwiches keep me full until lunchtime. One egg thingie from th... Tue, 24 Feb 2015 23:30:57 EST Welcome Home! I moved back to Virginia on the 23rd, and so far it's been okay. My husband found a job right away! He was looking in the Chicagoland area for two years and found NOTHING. He's here less than two weeks, and he already has something. I'm glad, because, yeah, hello, money, but also because it provides further evidence that it wasn't him or his resume, but stupid Chicago and Northwest Indiana that was the problem. Third largest city...mutter... <BR> <BR> And our tenants I guess were good, as fa... Thu, 12 Feb 2015 19:55:26 EST Forgiveness Anchor - An Epiphany So in my last blog (that was almost two weeks ago--so much for once a week blogging!), I mentioned how after I put in my notice, Drizella came to my office to ask why, and then I let loose on her and told her (almost) everything that I needed to say. Almost. In my loss of snark, I forgot to say, "So I'm taking my 'folksy' Georgetown education and my 'down home' international experience, and going back to DC, where people are used to a higher standard of professionalism." <BR> <BR> And there ... Tue, 20 Jan 2015 08:48:19 EST (sorta) Celebrating Well I put my notice in at my job today. Thank goodness, this nightmare is almost over. I talked to the big boss, and then sent an email to all relevant parties. Drizella was soon at my door asking me why. And I let it all out. <BR> <BR> I told her there were lots of reasons, but that the biggest is that I'm not doing another performance evaluation with them again. She said that the evaluation would be different this year, because I did a good job this year. I said that I did a good job the year ... Mon, 5 Jan 2015 20:48:15 EST Who Can Think of a Clever, Creative Title for a New Year's Blog? I can't. We are leaving soon for a dinner, and I don't think I'll have time to blog between now and midnight, otherwise, so here I am. <BR> <BR> I have read some really, really beautiful blogs for the New Year. JOHNTJ1, THE-SHELBSTER, FEEDTHEHUNGER, ONEKIDSMOM, PIXIE-LICIOUS...I don't know if I have these names just right, I'm in a bit of a hurry, but they have written just, wow, and I'm quite sure you know who I'm talking about! I feel pretty inadequate trying to put this together and with such a ti... Wed, 31 Dec 2014 22:17:41 EST My Forgiveness Anchor I haven't been working very hard on my anchors, because it's easy to throw things out there into cyberspace and then forget about them. Plus, I've had quite a lot going on with really important, pressing things that I'll share once there is more to tell. But I did get to spend some time this week thinking about forgiveness and getting there. And jeepers. It is TOUGH. <BR> <BR> Forgiveness is such an abstract term. Almost ethereal, really. I think it's hard for most of us to wrap our heads ar... Tue, 16 Dec 2014 17:46:52 EST Those Anchors In early October, I wrote a blog about my anchors. I kept adding to the list (which started out at about 12, I think) until I had two dozen things that in some way or another "hold me down." Here is the list: <BR> <BR> 1. My student loan debt <BR> 2. My sentimentality <BR> 3. My strong sense of nostalgia <BR> 4. My dog (hinders traveling) <BR> 5. My weight <BR> 6. My old clothes that must fit someday <BR> 7. My tendency to procrastinate <BR> 8. My anxiety <BR> 9. My funks <B... Thu, 20 Nov 2014 07:32:12 EST Basically the Same Blog I'm quite sure I have written this kind of thing and had these thoughts about commitment and stick-to-it-tive-ness, and how this SparkProgram I've been doing for 7 years would work if I actually DID it, rather than "doing" it. But maybe the fact that I saw myself in someone else will make a difference. <BR> <BR> Last night, I got a notification that one of my groups that there was a new message board topic. It was a new person. The person introduced herself, and she said that she was "going ... Mon, 3 Nov 2014 20:51:02 EST A Mug... I just realized I never updated this blog: <link><BR>urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=4218525 </link> <BR> <BR> Probably because I forgot I had made such a blog entry. But I have a very old update! You should read the old blog first before continuing... <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Today, I am drinking from a mug. It's a black mug. It has Karl Marx's face and says Karl-Marx Universitaet Trier on it. How did I get this mug? Well, it's a story. <BR> <BR> When tha... Thu, 23 Oct 2014 15:17:31 EST My Anchors I've been reading those self-help books again. <em>246</em> This time, I'm reading up on decluttering, so that I only schlep what I want to schlep back home. The local women's shelter is very happy with us, as we've emptied out our linen closet and kitchen. We have been schlepping a giant plastic bag full of new, still individually-wrapped silverware around, and I have NO idea where it came from, when it got into our inventory of crap, and how it got there. I just know it has moved with us... Sun, 5 Oct 2014 09:50:51 EST Strategizing I'm copying and pasting a similar exercise from a couple years ago, but changing it up a little to recognize the changes in my lifestyle at this time (i.e., I don't really eat meat now). <BR> <BR> Give 3 or 4 reasons and for each (reason/excuse on why my diets and exercise plans have not been well-executed in the past) write a strategy that will keep me on track for 8 weeks. <BR> <BR> I really like this assignment. It is methodical and systematic. It also reminds me of the EX method of qui... Thu, 4 Sep 2014 20:44:33 EST Had It Backward... So during the Pound-A-Thon Challenge, I decided I would weigh myself if certain conditions were met. They were that I had to stay in my calorie range and stay in my sodium range, among other things. <BR> <BR> I didn't weigh very often. <BR> <BR> If I stayed in calorie range, I was eating chili or spaghetti sauce (high in sodium). If I stayed in my sodium range, I ate too much. <BR> <BR> And then I weighed myself today after my camping trip today. YIKES. I don't even want to tell you! <BR> ... Wed, 3 Sep 2014 19:38:07 EST