BDMCLAUGHLIN's SparkPeople Blog BDMCLAUGHLIN's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community I'm back.... Well, since I have been away I have moved halfway round the world, back to Canada! My hubby got a posting for 2 years to a place less than 3 hours away from my family - which is AMAZING, but at the same time, it was a move with 5 weeks notice, then a 2 week stall in the UK where we were in transit housing because our place in Canada wasn't ready. This meant in total about 4 weeks of not having the option of cooking/eating properly at home, and as a result of that, and poor choices on my part ... Fri, 10 Sep 2010 11:13:47 EST Photo Shoot - One of the most amazing days of my life! I went to do a photo shoot this past weekend with a group of my girlfriends - I thought it might be a giggle...I never thought that it might be a day of amazing growth and realization for me... <BR> <BR> I was talked into it a week before after a few bottles of wine..."He is a fantastic photographer..." I was intrigued, and thought that I might enjoy the day out, even if the pictures turned out a bit rubbish. <BR> <BR> All of the other girls were eagerly discussing the lingerie shots that t... Tue, 4 May 2010 07:25:53 EST OMG Seriously!??!? Woohooo!! So I had a visit from a lady today regarding one of my kids, but I was running late after spinning class and a quick stop at the store for some bits for dinner. I hadn't met this lady before, but we ended up getting to my house at the same time fortunately, and as I was getting the kids in from the car and getting her settled with a cup of tea, I was apologizing for running late... <BR> <BR> Me: "So sorry if you had been waiting long, I was at the gym this morning..." <BR> <BR> Her: "Gym? Y... Thu, 11 Mar 2010 08:31:27 EST How do I refocus? Feeling frustrated with myself! So, since just before Christmas, when I hit that magic 100 lbs down, I feel like I have done nothing but lose and regain the same 5 ish pounds. My eating and tracking have gone out the window, my workouts are becoming few and far betwwen, and I am finding old habits resurfacing and the excuses "not to" are starting to overwhelm my thinking. <BR> <BR> It is frustrating and demoralizing, because it feels like all of the hard work I have put in the past year is being pushed to the side by my... Wed, 24 Feb 2010 04:56:33 EST 100 lbs down... WOW! I cannot believe that I have actually made it to this point...things have slowed down so much the past few months, and with all the holiday hoopla the past few weeks I was wondering in the back of my head if I was ever going to actually make it!! <BR> I am in the 170's...I cannot remember the last time I weighed this was well over 10 years ago! Wow. <BR> It is strange in a way, because I still feel like I have so far to go, yet, in reality, I have already succeeded far beyond wha... Thu, 10 Dec 2009 07:05:23 EST My attitude just stinks today!! I am really struggling for a bit of perspective today! I am tired, emotional, frustrated with a load of things that are or are not happening in my life that I have NO control over, and I have had just about bloody enough. And to top it off I am frustrated with what I feel is a lack of progress with my healthy eating and exercise. I can see changes in my body, and over time in teh scales, but at this point it just feels like the "rewards" are so slow in coming compared to the amount of work ... Thu, 5 Nov 2009 05:59:25 EST Setback or lesson in taking care of me? Feedback appreciated!! So, four days ago I came down with an absolutely EVIL case of tonsilitis - fever, chills, aches, throbbing head, can't swallow, don't want to eat, the whole bit. I am in the middle of a 6 week maximum results workout program, and all I can think about is the fact that I am missing workouts - nevermind the fact that I can barely stand, and I am looking after 3 kids under 4, one of which I am still breastfeeding part time! My hubby is still in Afghan, so I have no one to look after them so I c... Sun, 2 Aug 2009 04:55:03 EST Wow, it's been a while since I have blogged... Since I have come back to SP in March after having my youngest wee boy, I haven't even thought aout blogging to be honest. Between looking after the kids, worrying about my hubby on tour in Afghanistan, doing my university course work, and trying to keep up my diet and excercise, by the end of the day I am pretty much exhausted! lol. Oh well, now that I am feeling more and more energized by my lifestyle, I guess my excuses won't work for much longer! ;) <BR> <BR> I am in the middle of a 6... Sat, 18 Jul 2009 07:42:54 EST Day 91 Not a great day on a personal level - bloody car!! - but good food wise. I am pretty knackered tonight, so off to bed!! x Thu, 3 Apr 2008 15:34:43 EST Slow and Steady - Day 91 After my recent backslide, I have decided to take things at a pace to get back into things - This week my focus is to get my eating and water back on track. If I can get some exercise in, then great, if not, I am not going to beat myself up about it just yet. I think it would be silly of me to start getting down on myself so soon back into the game. I need to focus on the positive, and for now, the fact tha I am eating well again and tracking my food and water intake is a positive first st... Wed, 2 Apr 2008 15:31:13 EST Day 90 - Starting over. Well, I have had 2 weeks of self indulgence. I don't feel good about it, and I am just over 5 lbs heavier than I was 2 weeks ago, but the important thing is that I am still here. <BR> <BR> The next round of the BL challenge has just started, and I am going to use that as motivation to get back on track. Considering that I won the last round for our Pink Team, I feel even worse that I have let my self get so far off the rails..but what is done is done - Day 90 is my new Day 1, and I am stil... Tue, 1 Apr 2008 03:33:16 EST Day 72 - Goal Met for the day, and it isn't even 9 am!! Well, I did it! Got up - even after an absolutely horrible night with my 6 month old - and did my workout first thing. It isn't even 9 am and I am finished my workout for the day - cardio and strength training! Now I can spend the rest of my day doing what needs to be done, and I don't have to have that hanging over my head as something that I HAVE to do. <BR> <BR> I think that this is how I am going to have to do things if I am honest with myself. I know that the later I leave my workout... Fri, 14 Mar 2008 03:47:07 EST That's better - Day 71 Well, I did my workout today, and it was no where near as horrible as I had been anticipating! lol Why did I agonize so bloody much about it and not just DO the darn thing?? <BR> <BR> I always feel so much better when I get a workout in, and I know that! Now I just need to keep it up. My goal for tomorrow is to get up and get my workout over with first thing. i know that it is going to be difficult to get in later in the day, and I always feel so much better and get more done with my day... Thu, 13 Mar 2008 15:39:20 EST Day 70 - why is it so hard to get back on that wagon? I am really struggling to get back into my exercise. I feel crappy because of the all day morning sickness, but that is no excuse not to get my cardio in. Truth is, I just can't be bothered to do much of anything at the moment! <BR> <BR> I am going to go to bed shortly, try to get a good night's sleep, and start a new day tomorrow with a new attitude. <BR> <BR> I think I am struggling a bit too, because now I can justify in my head having that wee bit extra, or not is comp... Wed, 12 Mar 2008 16:10:36 EST Day 68 - What a twist in the road! I have just cut and pasted an excerpt from our BL challenge message board: <BR> <BR> ************** <BR> Now, for the REALLY important stuff. Lori, I finally figured out what has been going on with me in regards to the dizziness and feeling sick after Jason's challenges, and the exhaustion etc. It turns out I wasn't pushing myself too hard...I'M PREGNANT!! <BR> <BR> We found out on last weekend, but I didn't want to say anything right away - that is why I have been so quiet this past week.... Mon, 10 Mar 2008 12:54:15 EST Life gets in the way sometimes! Day 62 I have had some pretty heavy stuff going on here the past couple of days, and have lost my way a bit with my food - not TERRIBLE, but not great. I have done no exercise in days. Again, not the end of the world, but not great. <BR> <BR> What is great is that I am back today, and picking up where I left off. No silly "I'll start over on Monday....ok, maybe NEXT Monday". <BR> <BR> I will not give up on me despite everything that is going on. None of it is going to be improved by me giving up ... Tue, 4 Mar 2008 10:33:04 EST Let myself down? ~ Day 59 Just a quick check in and a confession that I didn't complete the second half of jason's challenge today - I have felt like poo all day. Remember how last night I said that I felt a bit sick when I had finished my workout? Well, this morning I woke up feeling like I had a massive hangover - without the fuzzy night before! I feel nauseous, headachy and dry mouth -just awful, and it sucks! <BR> <BR> I have been just exhausted as well - I fell asleep on the sofa feeding my 6 month old just aft... Sat, 1 Mar 2008 17:48:34 EST OMG I am dying! Day 58 Missed my blogging yesterday - fell asleep on the sofa as soon as I put the boys to bed! Missed my cardio too, but man did I make up for it today!! <BR> <BR> One of my goals this week was to do the team challenge for my biggest loser team - this week it was to complete 1000 crunches over the course of the week. I did 275 today, interspersed with my half hour of cardio on my elliptical in a circuit stylee. Cool. <BR> <BR> THEN, I also made one of my goals this week to complete "Jason's Fri... Fri, 29 Feb 2008 17:15:30 EST Big Smile - Day 56 I am feeling so much better today. Yesterday was so emotional for no apparent reason, and just exhausting! <BR> <BR> Today was so much better! I had to take the car in to the shop this morning, so I put the boys in the pushchair and walked back to our place - a nice 45 mins. When I got home I did 30 mins of circuit training - which included my team challenge crunches - I feel great! Food wise, I am a bit low on the calories side today, so I may have a smoothie or something before bed... ... Wed, 27 Feb 2008 15:37:05 EST Day 55 I am having a difficult day. Very busy and very emotional - I have eaten within range, but as it is my "off" day, no structured exercise. <BR> <BR> I am just not feeling like blogging tonight. Tue, 26 Feb 2008 17:29:09 EST Yay! Day 54 I lost 5.2 lbs this week! I can't believe it! Even with the night out on Saturday! Woo hoo! <BR> <BR> Had a really hard work out at bellydancing class tonight, then relaxing soak in the tub, so I am so ready for sleep now!! I will attempt a more serious attempt at my daily blog tomorrow, but I just wanted to say how proud I am to have lost over 40 lbs with SP - How amazing is that!?! <BR> <BR> Yay me! Mon, 25 Feb 2008 17:08:04 EST Great Day - Day 53 Today has been really lovely. After a couple days of not doing a "formal" cardio workout, I finally did one today and it felt fantastic! Not only that, but I spent 2 hours in the back yard raking leaves and spring cleaning, AND I did my strength training that I had missed out on ealier in the week! To bew honest, I feel FANTASTIC!! Ok, so my quads are exhausted lol, but I still feel great. <BR> <BR> I think that my back may be a bit sore after the raking, but it was so worth it. My hubby... Sun, 24 Feb 2008 13:38:38 EST Day 52 Well, last night was a lovely night out with my hubby, and we had a great time at a wonderful restaraunt! I decided to have a naughty starter (I really just did not fancy ANOTHER salad! lol), a sensible main, and decide about dessert after I had enaten, and if I really wanted one, then I would have one. <BR> <BR> So for my starter I had camembert cheese with toast and cranberries - I shared it with my hubby, but I had the lion's share of it, and I loved every bite! For main course I had a ... Sat, 23 Feb 2008 15:34:04 EST Small Hurdle...Day 51 Well, today is my hubby's birthday, and he asked that we go out tonight for a meal. It is our first evening out alone together since my youngest son was born (nearly 6 months ago)! I didn't have the heart to say no, and to be honest, I really didn't want to. I can't avoid eating out for the rest of my life, so I am just going to have to take steps to limit the damage! lol <BR> <BR> Unfortunately, here in Germany, they dont have resources like online nutritional breakdowns of the menus, or ... Fri, 22 Feb 2008 07:48:59 EST Day! 50 days into my SP journey. How do I feel? <BR> <BR> In one word? EMPOWERED. <BR> <BR> I am finally doing something that I always said I would do, but I never knew (deep down) if I had the courage to do it! And it is just a matter of making the right choices today, right now! I don't have to look at the big picture. All I have to worry about is getting through the next workout, or 10 minutes of my workout, or even 10 seconds, if that is what it takes. I only have to worry about eating h... Thu, 21 Feb 2008 15:21:25 EST Still plugging along - Day 49 I am still feeling tired, but I am feeling a bit better than I was yesterday. Somedays I think it all just gets on top of me a little. I also think that my body might be fighting some kind of bug - I was feeling rather ill at about 4 am this morning. I felt better as the day went on, and now that I have had a workout tonight, I actually feel almost human again! <BR> <BR> I think what I need is a good night sleep - or a lie in over the weekend. I think I will have a word with my hubby to s... Wed, 20 Feb 2008 17:00:14 EST So tired - Day 47 I don't know what is wrong with me the past few days, bt I have just felt so tired!! I feel as though I am exhausted all the time, and I just can't seem to shake it! <BR> <BR> Regardless, I was up and did my cardio this morning that I missed yesterday, even though Tues is my normal day off, so I guess that is a small accomplishment. <BR> <BR> I really wish that I could pinpoint the cause of this exhaustion. I tried upping my protein today, and that didn't help. I tried upping my carbs the... Tue, 19 Feb 2008 17:03:27 EST Choices - Day 46 Today I have done well with my food, but have run around like a headless chicken with errands all day with 2 small boys in tow. I am exhasted. <BR> <BR> I choose to not exercise tonight. I feel a bit crap about it, it was poor planning on my part, I should have done it this morning, but I didn't. Regardless, I am making the choice to go to bed early and not work out today. Good choice? Bad choice? \regardless, it is MY choice today, AND I WILL OWN IT. Mon, 18 Feb 2008 15:41:06 EST First Weekend with a night out - SUCCESS!! Day 45 Well, I had a fantastic night last night!! Didn't even touch the light beer, drank diet cola and spirits - tracked everything I drank, turned down the Nachos, Pizza, the chips & dip, even the 2am munchies!! <BR> <BR> Got up this morning (without a hangover), made a lovely brunch and off we went to walk around the zoo for 3 hours. Did NOT join in when everyone else had fries adn bratwurst at the zoo - I had a water, and came home to cook. Healthy dinner & snack sorted, and water done, dropp... Sun, 17 Feb 2008 15:48:59 EST Quick hello - Day 44 Well, with my mate from the UK here I thought it would be harder to stay on track, but it hasn't! Been a good day nutritionally, and I am looking forward to the night out tonight - no guilt. I am just going to enjoy it. I have done my best to prepare, and tomorrow I will do what I need to to counteract any damage from the night out, but I am going to enjoy it!! <BR> <BR> Stocked up on light beer, "zero" mixers etc, so I am off!! Sat, 16 Feb 2008 12:35:29 EST Feeling STRONG today ~ Day 43 Physically yes, but more emotionally. I am just feeling like I can actually do this weight loss thing! When I look at my calendar and realize that I have been doing this journey consistently for a month and a half already I can hardly believe it! Does that mean that it is a habit now?? <BR> <BR> I mean, I still struggle a lot some days with staying motivated to exercise, but eating within my calorie range doesn't seem that difficult to be honest. It is just about me making the right choic... Fri, 15 Feb 2008 05:36:28 EST Happy V-Day! Day 42 I cannot believe that it is the middle of February already!!! It seems like I just started with Spark People, but at the same time, it is like I have been doing it forever! <BR> <BR> up at 530 this morning with my baby boy who refused to sleep, so I figured that I would get my workout over and done with early so that I could curl up on the sofa with my hubby tonight and watch a movie! I have also been very careful with my food intake so that I can splurge a bit tonight with the ... Thu, 14 Feb 2008 09:23:57 EST My new elliptical trainer is here!! Day 41 YAY!!! After weeks of waiting, my elliptical trainer arrived today. However, living in Germany, ordering from a German company, I got 9 pages of instructions IN GERMAN!! lol It took me 5 hours to get the bloody thing put together, but I had my first workout on it tonight, and I have to say that I LOVE it!! <BR> <BR> What a great reward for my first 30 lbs of weight lost. And I have to say that new toys are GREAT motivation! lol <BR> <BR> It may not be the most tasteful of decorative cho... Wed, 13 Feb 2008 15:56:01 EST I have a new workout buddy!! Day 40 Yay! I have a new workout buddy and I am really chuffed! It is just one more way for me to be accountable for my actions (or inaction!!). <BR> <BR> I am so looking forward to my cross trainer arriving tomorrow! I can't wait to set it up in the living room so I can watch my SATC box set and have a workout! <BR> <BR> I fell today while I was out walking with my little men - I was carrying my wee one in his carrier, so it was really quite scary until I knew that he was ok! In the process I ... Tue, 12 Feb 2008 16:10:30 EST Why am I doing this?? Day 39 I was challenged today to look at my motivations behind my journey on Spark People. I have many! <BR> <BR> There are the obvious and superficial ones: I want to look better, fit into fashions that I cannot wear at my current weight, wear lingerie for my husband, feel sexy again, be a better ball player. <BR> <BR> There are health reasons: I want to live longer, have a healthier heart and keep my blood pressure down. <BR> <BR> There are family reasons: I want to be around when my kids hav... Mon, 11 Feb 2008 16:46:17 EST Taking pride in the little Today, for the first time in MONTHS my husband got up with the boys and let me have a lie in. I slept till 10 am! I cannot remember the last time that I did that! More than the sleep, I think it was that I felt appreciated, and that is what felt so good about it! <BR> <BR> Then I had a relatively lazy day, punctuated by lots of wonderful fresh fruit and veg plates from my wanderings yesterday. Then tonight, after the boys went to sleep, I had a really good workout! I not only did the b... Sun, 10 Feb 2008 15:32:14 EST Change of perspective - Day 37 Isn't it amazing how getting off your butt for 30 minutes can actually change your perspective on the ENTIRE day?? <BR> <BR> Well, now that I bullied myself into getting off the sofa, I feel SOO much better! <BR> <BR> Because I didn't take the "oh well I have blown it, so I may as well just start over Monday" frame of mind, I now have a day where I have eaten within target, gotten 30 mins of cardio in, gone out for lunch with a mate and had a big family dinner and just basically did the thi... Sat, 9 Feb 2008 16:57:13 EST Hmmmm...SLACK I have not tracked as I ate today, and to be honest the fact that I am still within calorie range is stricly luck! I mean, I was still making healthy choices today, but I know that my portion sizes, especially with dinner, were way too big! I tracked them after I ate, but I am not planning my meals, I haven't exercised again today...SLACK. <BR> <BR> Where is my dedication to myself? to this journey? Where is my motivation? <BR> <BR> Come on Brandon!! You have been doing brilliantly! ... Sat, 9 Feb 2008 15:33:07 EST Lazy Day - Day 36 I had a really lazy day today, and rather than feeling all down about it, I am actually pretty ok about it. <BR> <BR> I ate carefully today, and came in lower on my calories to compensate for the fact that I chose not to exercise today - rather than class the entire day as a loss and binge, so that is progress! <BR> <BR> I have already surpassed my weekly exercise minute and calories burned targets, so if I get in a couple of workouts over the weekend, then I will be ok. <BR> <BR> I need t... Fri, 8 Feb 2008 16:52:13 EST Back on track! Day 35 Well, after a few days of feeling really off my game, and unmotivated with the exercise, getting off my butt to do that boot camp workout seems to have been the catalyst I needed to regain some momentum. <BR> <BR> I did another 45 minutes today, but of straight cardio (dance aerobics) instead of the boot camp to give my acing muscles a rest. I have to admit tho, I feel much more limber and less achy after my workout today than I did when I woke up! <BR> <BR> And I feel so much better about... Thu, 7 Feb 2008 09:03:49 EST Hmmmm...Day 34 It has been an odd couple of days in relation to my Spark People journey. <BR> <BR> When I joined last month, some of the mini goals that I set included being brutally honest with myself in my daily blog. <BR> <BR> Well, in all honesty I am finding it a struggle at the moment to get the blogging done on a daily basis. I am also feeling like I am struggling with my exercise these past few days. Are these connected? probably! <BR> <BR> I have had a really slack few days, as Sunday was my ... Wed, 6 Feb 2008 03:27:43 EST Another after midnight entry - Day 32 I need to get more sleep. <BR> <BR> Yes, the baby wakes me up, but when I am just getting to bed at 1 am that doesnt help, especially when I am trying to squeeze mmy blog in now and I can barely function I am so tired. <BR> <BR> Good day today, and I promise a proper update tomorrow. <BR> <BR> x Mon, 4 Feb 2008 18:53:38 EST Karneval - Day 31 I am exhausted tonight! We took the boys to a Karneval parade, and I am so tired now I can hardly keep my eyes open, but I wanted to chekc in... <BR> <BR> WIll discuss the day tomorrow... <BR> <BR> Bad Brandon, I know! :) <BR> <BR> Sun, 3 Feb 2008 16:22:52 EST Good Day - Day 30 I am exhausted, we had a long day out today. Tok the boys to an indoor play area this morning, then to McDonalds for lunch (I had a grilled chicken salad and water!!), hen we walked around this massive super store place for 3+ hours! Spent WAY too much money, but bought new running shoes and LOADS fo healthy food for the house. <BR> <BR> Came home and I made a BIG dinner, but it was ALL within my range! How cool is that? This is sooo not a diet. Just a DO it. <BR> <BR> Off to bed for s... Sat, 2 Feb 2008 18:11:28 EST February already...Day 29 It only seems like I took down the Christmas tree yesterday, and here we are, a month into the year already! <BR> <BR> A month into the year, and I have not given up on my New Years resolution yet! Now there is a first! I don't think that I have EVER in my life made it to the first of Feb and not broken my resolution! lol. That is either a sign of poor will power or poor goal setting! <BR> <BR> Today has been brilliant. I had so much fun playing with my boys today, and just puttering ar... Fri, 1 Feb 2008 15:42:25 EST Time flies...Day 28 My baby boy is five months old today. I cannot believe that it has been five months already! He sat up on his own for the first time today, and I am such a proud mama! <BR> <BR> I fit in to some pants today that I haven't worn since before my first son was born 2.5 years ago. Again, I am such a proud mama! lol <BR> <BR> Today has been good - feeling a bit hungry, but I think that is the lack of complex carbs in my breakfast today, so I will adjust that tomorrow and see how I feel. I took... Thu, 31 Jan 2008 16:22:54 EST Bring it on HOO-RAH! Day 27 I loved my new Boot Camp video that I did for the first time tonight! I was sweating my arse off!! Woo hooo!! <BR> <BR> It is so funny that I am the same woman that a month ago could not haul her butt off the sofa to walk the dogs, was this week complaining that her bellydancing class was not enough of a workout, and loving the feeling of jelly legs going up the stairs to shower after a hard workout tonight! lol. It is amazing the difference a month of focus can make!! <BR> <BR> You know... Wed, 30 Jan 2008 16:36:17 EST Can't believe that it has been nearly a month!! Day 26 Wow! It is nearly the end of the month already! It is amazing how qucikly time goes when you are not looking! ;) <BR> <BR> I am nearly a full month into this life changing journey, and I am feeling FANTASTIC! I think the biggest change is that I feel so in control of my life. Not just my diet, but my entire life! I feel more focused, clearer, more alert and aware. I have the desire to become more organized and show this new found control in all the areas of my life, notjust my health.... Tue, 29 Jan 2008 15:44:48 EST Weigh In Day, First Goal ACHIEVED!! - Day 25 Well, weigh in was this morning, and I am down another 2.2 lbs. <BR> <BR> It looks like the inevitable leveling off to a steady sustainable rate has finally occured, and although I was expecting it, I had kind of hoped that I would continue to lose at a faster rate! lol. <BR> <BR> To be fair tho, I am very happy about the loss, and I am going to try to keep my weekly loss between 2-3 lbs, which I feel, for my current weight, is healthy and achieveable. <BR> <BR> I am planning to focus on m... Mon, 28 Jan 2008 10:29:35 EST What a lovely Sunday - Day 24 It has been a GOOD day today. <BR> <BR> I did my cardio - this evening, and I didn't even stress all day about not having done it in the morning like I normally would. I just made the decision that I would take the dogs out for a good long walk after the kids went to bed, and that is what I did...who knew things could be so simple! lol <BR> <BR> I noticed today how much nicer my skin has gotten in the past 3 weeks. Either it is the water, or the foods I have been eating, probably a combin... Sun, 27 Jan 2008 16:09:58 EST