BCANGELRAE's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=BCANGELRAE BCANGELRAE's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Looking Back... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5198633 I know that most people's posts at this time of year focus on looking forward to the year ahead and all the goals they have for themselves. But for me, it is hard to look forward to what I am doing until I look back and see what has brought me to this exact moment in time. For me it is as important in my process of moving forward as setting goals for the future. <BR> <BR> I have been away from spark for about 2 years... and a 2 years it has been!! I actually thought I hadn't been back in ... Wed, 9 Jan 2013 11:12:00 EST 2 Years Ago... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4030029 The month of February has become my least favorite month of the year. Two years ago, my husband and I were blessed with a beautiful baby girl. She was so small, so fragile and yet so strong. We weren't ready for her to make her appearance in this world and her little body wasn't able to hold up in this world. She was with us for 17 days, then grew her angel wings and is in our hearts now. <BR> <BR> I feel the pain start creeping into my heart and mind as soon as February starts. It ... Sat, 19 Feb 2011 11:44:19 EST Making progress... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3950571 The last time on sparkpeople, I got 2 very important pieces advice for staying motivated. The 1st was take your measurements because they are what is most important, not the scale. And take pictures because it is helpful to see how far you have come when you need a little bit of motivation! And I have done both of those this year too. And in two weeks, I have lost 6.5 inches off my body and the pictures sure show the difference. Makes me so motivated for the next week. Here they are! <B... Sat, 22 Jan 2011 16:02:32 EST Making the change... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3940859 It took me so long to get started again on the path to healthy eating. My husband and I had made the change back in 2009 and loved every minute of it, then as life got in the way, we also lost our way. Then after my daughter was born, I thought it would be easy to just pick it back up again... but it wasn't. Trying to figure it all out just for myself was a challenge, then trying to work a baby into it seemed near impossible. I kept making start days, then watched the days come and go as ... Wed, 19 Jan 2011 13:12:30 EST To my Mom and Dad... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3931154 Well it has been snowing here continuously since Friday night and we have got so much snow my dogs have had to make tunnels in my backyard to get around. And my hubby and I shoveled last night and made the driveway nice and clear, even though we knew it wouldn't last a couple of hours even. Normally, the sight of all this snow would have gotten me down. Mostly because it would have meant I was stuck here. It is too cold to take my munchkin out in her sleigh, so that would have meant that ... Sun, 16 Jan 2011 19:09:48 EST First week A Success! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3925028 Well it has been 7 days since I wrote my last blog and it has been a busy one. But for once it hasn't been a busy I couldn't handle! I have been active, getting things done in my house, and overall just feeling good. My hubby and I have exercised everyday this week with no excuses. <BR> <BR> Overall, I feel stronger in all ways. Physically, emotionally, and mentally. I have more energy to clean my house and play with my 6 month old daughter, who doesn't move much but requires alot of a... Fri, 14 Jan 2011 14:07:38 EST One Step Forward... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3901939 A new year has started but I wouldn't stay that a new journey is beginning. I am preferring to think that I stalled, that I let life get in the way (and get in the way it did) but I didn't stay focused long enough to keep it going. So I stalled for a little bit and now I am going to just make the move forward again. <BR> <BR> I am done beating myself up and thinking that I have been doing everything wrong... because that is not true. I am choosing to embrace a new lifestyle, knowing that ... Fri, 7 Jan 2011 22:06:03 EST One Step Forward... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3598946 My brother had this saying posted on his facebook not too long ago, "One step forward, two steps back." And my response to him was "Well at least you are moving somewhere, even if it is backwards." But sitting here right now I think I understand what he meant when he wrote that. Everything I seem to be doing is moving me somewhere but not in the direction that I want to go. For instance, my daily walk. Two days ago, I got up went for a walk with my dogs and myself. It was such a great s... Thu, 2 Sep 2010 00:49:33 EST They Call it Falling off the Wagon... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3577789 The often call what I did falling off the wagon. I did so good and then just started losing my footing a little bit at a time. Then I quit trying, I quit being conscious of what I was doing, and this was all before I even got pregnant and started trying to just stay healthy. So I fell right off that fast moving wagon and decided that now is a good time to pick myself back up. <BR> <BR> Today was the first step... I packed up my little munchkin after she was fed, dry and bundled up and wen... Thu, 26 Aug 2010 17:40:34 EST What a difference a year can make... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3523879 Hello to all my Spark friends! Long time no talk!! <BR> <BR> It is amazing how many things can change in year. About a year ago, my husband and I had gone through something that broke us down and we had to start from the beginning. So we did start all over... with a healthy twist! Then last September/October, about the time I kind of fell off of Sparkpeople, we made the decision to try for another baby. It didn't take us long and we were expecting our second child. It was a long p... Tue, 10 Aug 2010 23:19:08 EST Life Ain't Always Beautiful... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2545086 With all of the changes that I have been through this year, it is safe to say I have been riding a roller coaster. Emotionally, mentally, and even physically. And through all of that I have been strong. I wasn't strong because I had to be, but because I don't think there is another choice. Life is going to throw me many curve balls, this just being the first. And I know that I will be going through a lot more in the next few years. That is inevitable. So I find myself thinking, 'Will I... Sun, 8 Nov 2009 19:36:24 EST Getting back on the Wagon!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2541267 Hello all my spark friends! <BR> <BR> It has been a long time since I have been on here. I have been avoiding it like the plague because I hadn't been doing ANYTHING that could even be considered healthy and I wanted everyone to think I was still going. But truth be told, I haven't been eating healthy or getting active since about the middle of September. It has taken me a long time to come to terms with my setback (just today I have stopped thinking about it as a failure and more of... Sat, 7 Nov 2009 03:05:31 EST Starting again... well not really but it feels like it!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2363286 So last week was a complete bust for me. I honestly didn't even make an effort to make great choices, although I did try to watch my portion sizes. I did not make a big effort to exercise. AND I FELT HORRIBLE!! Not just horrible because I wasn't trying but I was tired all the time, and had no energy, and mostly sat on the couch when I wasn't working. <BR> <BR> I can't explain why I did that or why I felt like that but this week we are back on track. We went and bought good groceries and... Tue, 1 Sep 2009 00:13:52 EST The devil in my living room! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2345485 Now reading that title you could think of many different things. It could be the TV that I want to watch. It could be the snacks beside the couch or the couch itself. But what I am talking about is my scale. It is sitting in my living room right now, taunting me to step on. <BR> <BR> Yesterday, I decided I was putting my scale away. The reasoning behind this was that I stepped on and saw a 2 pound weight loss and was disappointed. DISAPPOINTED!!! That is crazy. If you added that to ... Tue, 25 Aug 2009 14:53:00 EST Still sad... but trying to work through it! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2331803 This week has been a rough one for me. I have been fighting a blanket of depression for most of the week. It all started on Sunday because we were at my parents house and our little girl is at a little place called Tranquility Gardens. We went to see if her plaque was on her resting place. It was hard because this was the first time my hubby and I have been there since her memorial. Her beautiful name was there. It is funny how the strangest things make you upset. I was so upset that I... Thu, 20 Aug 2009 13:20:17 EST Two paperclips! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2303467 After all of my trying times this week, I still get to add 2 paperclips to my chain. I am so excited. I am so excited in fact that I decided to make a chain to represent my total pounds lost! That is 16 paperclips in total! It is inspiring me to get moving more this week! That is pretty much all I have to say today... just wanted to share the joy! <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/7/9/b798870286.jpg"> <BR> Here is the 2 for this week! <BR> <BR> <img src="http://pho... Mon, 10 Aug 2009 14:13:36 EST Well, I started! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2300900 When I got up this morning, I was not feeling too good about myself or my progress this week. I feel like I started out with a bang and then *poof* it all fell away. So I had to do some pretty good thinking about what is going on with me. I came up with these things: <BR> <BR> 1. It is TOM so that accounts for some of the eating and the cravings for big amounts of things that I don't need to have. <BR> 2. I have not been drinking my water, which is making me bloated, hungry and cranky, w... Sun, 9 Aug 2009 18:07:28 EST Mini challenge Answers! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2293711 (Thanks for the Challenge DAKOTASMOMMY 07 (Lt. Chrisitina you rock!!!) <BR> <BR> <BR> There are times during our journey where we kind of get off track… <BR> or our momentum starts to fade. So what I am challenging you to do is… <BR> <BR> 1. What are my reasons for starting this new lifestyle. <BR> My reasons for starting this challenge are simple. To become a healthier more active person. And I want to be at a healthy weight before we try to concieve again. <BR> <BR> 2. My fee... Thu, 6 Aug 2009 17:14:55 EST Finally... my vision collage! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2292881 I have had this finished for days, but I haven't been able to get the computer to put it on here. I think this is perfect motivation for this challenge. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/2/6/b266362562.jpg"> <BR> <BR> The quote says: <BR> The truth of the matter is that there's nothing you can't accomplish if: <BR> 1. You clearly decide what it is that you're absolutely committed to achieveing <BR> 2. You're willing to take massive action, <BR> 3. You notice what's w... Thu, 6 Aug 2009 12:00:51 EST Before Pictures for The 8 Week Battle!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2281363 Hello fellow warriors. Here is my before pictures. I was going to post my vision collage as well, but we are having a few issues with our internet at home. So I have to do it all at work. Here are all my pictures! Lets get this battle started!!! <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/9/0/b905278514.jpg"> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/4/0/b400779427.jpg"> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/8/4/b841152387.jpg"> <BR> Sun, 2 Aug 2009 20:27:39 EST Battle Plan! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2275899 Here is my battle plan. It is not too in depth but I am making myself alot more accountable than I have been in the past 2 weeks! <BR> <BR> 1. Eat according to my weekly meal plan and enter into Nutrition Tracker daily. <BR> 2. Exercise at least 30 minutes on the days that I work. <BR> 3. Walk on all days I don't work. <BR> 4. Do one workout video or Wii (at least) on the days I don't work. <BR> 5. Blog daily about my progress/feelings. <BR> 6. Enjoy myself. Celebrate my successes an... Fri, 31 Jul 2009 14:11:50 EST 8-week Battle Checklist! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2275880 Here is my checklist. Thanks to River-Rocks for the checklist, I just tweaked it to be my own. I think I am ready. Only have to make my vision collage! Here we go!! <BR> <BR> Read Team Rules. **DONE!** <BR> Read Points System. **DONE!** <BR> Read Weigh-in Format. **DONE!** <BR> Read Tanya’s post “Your Battle Arsenal -- How to Get Your Battle On.” **DONE!!** <BR> Read all of the Sticky Topics. **DONE!!** <BR> <BR> Post to the Red Team Weigh-in page. **DONE!!** <BR> Introduce ... Fri, 31 Jul 2009 14:04:58 EST I PROMISE... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2256632 On my reorganizing mission today, I was looking for all my workout DVDs. I found my Tae-Bo Amped book and there was this Promise Page in it. I think it is amazing so I wanted to share it with you all! <BR> <BR> PROMISE PAGE <BR> We have each been given a free will-a free will to make decisions that will result in different outcomes in our lives. <BR> If we understand that we are the ones who are in control, and not our senses, we will win. <BR> We have the power within to make a change in ou... Fri, 24 Jul 2009 15:59:18 EST A different kind of exercise... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2256581 Today, I have been contemplating what I consider to be "exercise". In my plan, I have been walking and using my Wii to do my exercise, but what have I been doing with the rest of my down time. Well the answer to that is: <BR> <BR> ALMOST NOTHING!! <BR> <BR> I do my "workouts" then I proceed to sit on the computer for the rest of the day. Or I go for my evening walk and then lay on the couch for the rest of the night. I do know that I need time to let my body recover, but there are a lo... Fri, 24 Jul 2009 15:37:40 EST Keeping my body healthy... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2248921 Hello everyone (or anyone if they read this post), <BR> <BR> I am feeling great today. I am feeling strong. I have been pushing my walking up to another level. At first I was trying to walk faster each time I walked. But after a few times I realized that the pace that I am walking at is a good pace for me, and more importantly a good pace for my body. I have had problems with my knees and hips since I was younger, and although I have never let it get to me, it does limit me in certain w... Tue, 21 Jul 2009 23:23:24 EST The perfect memory of my daughter! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2240386 Today was an emotional and great day for me and my hubby. We finally went to get our memorial tattoos for our daughter. We booked the appointment in March, not long after she passed away. Now it feels like I am always connected to her, that she really did exist. It is hard to explain to people how little she was without carrying things of hers around, but now I can show them her footprints. The tattoos are the imprints we took of her after she had passed away. <BR> <BR> Now I can look d... Sun, 19 Jul 2009 01:16:59 EST Needing some motivation! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2238267 If you have been reading my blogs lately, it is kind of like a roller coaster. One minute, I am happy about my progress and then the next minute, I am not feeling so great about what I am doing. This evening was one of the times I am feeling a little down. So I decided not sit and dwell about it and make some of my own motivation. <BR> <BR> About 2 weeks ago, I took pictures of myself, so I could compare my start pictures and my new ones and see the change with my own eyes. So I decided ... Sat, 18 Jul 2009 00:52:41 EST Mmmm!! Good food!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2237397 I was so happy to be able to go buy a whole bunch of fresh veggies and fruit yesterday. We went to the grocery store yesterday and all we bought was fresh produce. It was so cool to watch all of those beautiful, bright colored veggies and fruit heading toward the till. I couldn't wait to get home to sink my teeth in to a fresh peach. Mmmm! I can think back to when we would go the grocery store and walk out with nothing fresh at all. Just processed, fatty foods. <BR> <BR> So even though... Fri, 17 Jul 2009 16:24:12 EST It is trying to drag me down!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2234840 Today, I am having a snacking problem. I am a little stressed out... particularly about getting some much needed money to complete some much needed renovations on our house. I am so afraid that we won't get them money, then can't do what we need, then our plan can't follow through. So I am trying to avoid eating too much and snacking all day long on food that I shouldn't be snacking on. The only thing that is really working in my favor is that we don't have any junk food in our house so I... Thu, 16 Jul 2009 18:15:03 EST Look at how far we have come!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2232665 As I am sitting here eating my favorite snack (fat-free cottage cheese with raisins, almonds, and cinnamon, Mmm!), I find myself looking back to where I was 2 months ago. 2 months ago, I would barely get my butt off the couch to do anything. I would clean the house a little then park it on my couch for the rest of the day. 2 months ago, none of my clothes fit, so I would just wear yoga pants and t-shirts around everywhere. 2 months ago, we were eating enough food for a family of 4 or more... Wed, 15 Jul 2009 23:30:54 EST 10 lbs down!! And something to think about!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2222949 Hello fellow Spark People!! Today is great day for me. Today I have reached my first goal and lost 10 pounds. Woo hoo!! And for the first time, and I have tried to lose weight alot of times, I feel like I have earned ever pound of that loss. I feel proud and worthy of every compliment I get for how good I look because I know that I really had to bust my butt to get to this point. <BR> <BR> Talking to a friend last night, I also realized that this is the first time I am not doing this to... Sun, 12 Jul 2009 17:40:07 EST Dreary weather is keeping me down!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2211339 The past two days in Dawson Creek have been full of horrible weather. It rained hard for about 24 hours and then it has been raining on and off all day today. Even though I like the sound of the rain or how the world feels after it has rained, when the weather stays like that for any amount of time, my mood always takes a turn for the worse. I am thinking that is probably why I do not like places like Vancouver, and could never live there, and why I like living up north. <BR> <BR> So tod... Tue, 7 Jul 2009 23:56:37 EST And we did it together!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2203051 All week long, my DH and I have had a plan to go do the Dawson Creek Trail (which is 5.34 miles round-trip). So today we got up, had breakfast, visited with his sister and then out the door we went. Well, actually, first I did my EA Active workout because I know I will be too tired to do it tomorrow morning so I just thought I would throw it in too. <BR> <BR> Anyways, off we go, with the dogs, on our walk. Last time I did it, I walked it in 1 hour 38 minutes. This time around I knew we w... Sat, 4 Jul 2009 21:52:44 EST Keeping it up!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2200836 So today is the first day this week where I have felt like I am back on track. The other days I was doing my walking and working out on my Wii, even though I didn't feel like it. I tried my hardest to eat good, but I wasn't feeling that happy about my progress. Today I woke up a new person. I know there will be ups and downs, but I like waking up feeling energized and ready to go. So I did my walk, worked out my Wii (both EA Active and Wii fit) and starting doing my housework. That make... Fri, 3 Jul 2009 16:57:05 EST And here the cookies sit... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2188515 So I am almost done my first set of work since I was off when my daughter was born. I wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be for me. It is like walking into a place that I never left, the skills are still there but had just been laying dormant for awhile. But that is just the work that isn't as hard as I thought, the exercise and the eating has been a bigger challenge. <BR> <BR> At home I was free to follow my plan however I wished, and if I changed my mind on what I wanted to eat... Mon, 29 Jun 2009 07:16:50 EST Rain... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2180672 I just love the rain. The sound of it is so comforting, especially right before you go to bed. And it is so refreshing, to me and to everything outside. Cleansing. <BR> <BR> This morning, my hubby told me that it was really wet outside so maybe I wasn't going to want to go out walking today. So I debated whether I was going out or if I was going to just get my bike out of the shop (it is a stationary one) and ride that inside. Then I remembered how much I like what rain does to the worl... Thu, 25 Jun 2009 15:08:23 EST 5.34 Miles!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2177825 Well today I set a hefty goal for myself. I was going to walk to the walking trail in town from one end of it to the other and back. The actual goal was to finish it. No time limits, just get it done. And I did it. It took me 1 hour 38 minutes (that is actual walking time). <BR> <BR> Of course, I took my dogs so there were stops on the way because I had to give them water about every 30 minutes. They went through 2 liters of water (which I carried in a backpack for them) on the walk pl... Wed, 24 Jun 2009 15:53:17 EST The Wii!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2174685 Now before we had considered buying a Wii and all the fitness stuff, I had read alot of conflicting things about how effective the workout was. Then I went to my mom's house and worked out with her, and let me tell you the Wii is a workout. It is just like any exercise that you do, you get out what you put in. I always try my hardest to complete the exercise with the proper forn, so I feel it the next day. Especially with the EA Active game, it is a sweat through your clothes good workout... Tue, 23 Jun 2009 14:43:20 EST Back in the swing of things!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2171584 Okay well the vacation is over... or that is the way that I am viewing it. The last 2 weeks have been spent at my mom and dad's house, and although we were working really hard to keep on track there it is inevitable that we will slack because some days are busier than others. So when I stepped on the scale this morning, I was just hoping that the good food choices that I had made the week before would be enough to just help me maintain the weight I had lost so far. So I got up and out of b... Mon, 22 Jun 2009 14:19:40 EST One minute... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2155761 I have always found it strange that one minute the world can seem fine, like everything has a place and you feel good, then the next second it seems like the world as you just saw it is coming crashing down around you. I know that sounds a little melodramatic but yesterday I had one of those days. Most of the time I am pretty good at going with the flow and dealing with my emotions, but I since losing my daughter, I feel like I am still walking a tightrope of emotions. It only takes a slig... Tue, 16 Jun 2009 13:20:40 EST Back home... and back to real life! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2153704 So this last week I have been at my mom and dad's house, away from home. It was a scary thing to do so early on in trying to change my lifestyle but I looked at it as a challenge. I was striving really hard to keep to the plan and eat healthy. I worked with my mom to have healthy meals. The last couple of days have been hard because I have too really tired and traveling but I think I held it together the best I could. I know that my life will be full of these trying times, and to be hone... Mon, 15 Jun 2009 20:37:15 EST What a change!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2145912 There are so many changes that I have witnessed in the past week, all within myself. <BR> <BR> First, I have startedto notice the changes in my body, both in the way it actually looks and the way I see it. I can see the inches that I have lost off of the top of my body (I always loose off my bust first, then but and last but not least the middle). I can feel my clothes fitter a little better all around. And when I look in the mirror, I am starting to see the girl I used to be, with the br... Fri, 12 Jun 2009 16:14:27 EST Trying to keep going... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2142830 This week and now next week are interesting challenges for hubby and I. just a week into our sparkpeople journey we have to keep our workouts and eating up on the road and by ourselves. Our first week, we really worked together to plan good meals and encourage eachother. This week I came home to my mom and dad's house and left DH at home. Then next week he is off to do some job training out of town and I am at home. I must say two things: it has been easier than I thought it was and it ... Thu, 11 Jun 2009 13:31:43 EST A Day of Rest! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2131171 There is nothing better than sleeping in and having a day where you can just do things at your own pace. Right now I am not working, so most of the days that I am home are days like this but this week has seemed busy with us making some changes in out lifestyle. But today is special, just because it is my day. I can get everything done whenever I want to. And it feels great!!! <BR> <BR> I think that we are also feeling really great right now because of the changes that we have been makin... Sun, 7 Jun 2009 18:37:26 EST The choice is not mine... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2128514 Three months ago today, I was sitting in my room at the hospital listening to a doctor tell me that my daughter was really sick and that we didn't really know what was wrong. <BR> Three months ago today, I was calling my husband and telling him he better get to our side fast because I think this was the day we would have to say goodbye to our daughter. <BR> Three months ago today, I held my little girl for the first and last time and I watched her take her last breathe, watched her ... Sat, 6 Jun 2009 15:04:10 EST Keeping my head up! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2126167 This morning all those excuses that I tried to use yesterday seemed like they would apply. My shin splints were sore, I was tired, and I just want to veg out. So, despite that, I got up and got moving (albeit slowly, but moving none the less). I feel slightly better after the workout but I am still kind of tired. So I am just doing things slowly today... no pushing, just keeping myself active enough to get through the day. What really got me moving today was that this was Day 5 for me. ... Fri, 5 Jun 2009 14:26:21 EST Procrastination always worked before!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2123323 I have started, tried and learned many things from all the healthy lifestyle changes and diets I have tried over the years (even at my young age). But always, just a little bit into the program, I would find some other reason to not to what I was suppose to be doing. I would be BUSY!! The ultimate excuse that has no really merit because you can pretty much put anything under that title and be busy. <BR> That tried to come into play this morning. I was woken up by my husband and the first ... Thu, 4 Jun 2009 14:52:27 EST