BAROSS's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=BAROSS BAROSS's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Just every day stuff http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5748653 I am happy no longer waiting for the big weight loss to have fun. My boyfriend and i am doing more together. I met a friend that has a lot of things in common with me. weight is not one ot them she is thin but we shop and talk and have nice visits. Live in general is good. <BR> I am eating better, now watching portions and trying to get nutrients right, its all and experiment at this point. My trouble is exercise, with the weight gain came the pain. I can't walk more than a few ... Tue, 29 Jul 2014 01:25:08 EST Its official http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5712883 Well its official I have now gained back every pound I have lost in the last 2 years. Not a good thing, but to be more positive I am now on my way to being a non smoker. One of the hardest things i have ever accomplished and I am proud of myself. Little by little I am beginning to breath easier, movement is easier, I would never have believed it but back pain is improving. Who knew the doctor knew what he was talking about. I decided to quit because simply I can not afford rent and ... Sat, 7 Jun 2014 15:17:44 EST hi http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5654471 I have lived alone for 3 weeks, there are times when i am very lonely. Mostly i am happy, I have started my exercises again, gained a lot of weight over the year I lived with my kids. My scale spent the year in the car trunk so needless to say it is not working I will have to get another one day, but for now i will concentrate on getting the exercises going again, get my eating under control and watch for non scale victories. What I weigh is not important its how I feel that counts. Right... Sun, 23 Mar 2014 09:57:09 EST Everything is very nice http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5648865 The move was different, I am alone for the first time since i was born. Just me in this apartment and you know what I love it. I can decorate if i want or not. I have moved the furniture a couple times looking for the most comfortable and best use of my space think i found it now. I run up and down a flight of stairs several times a day and its getting easier. In the morning I get up have a cup of coffee, cook myself an egg and some toast then put in a cd and do my sit and be fit video... Sun, 16 Mar 2014 04:44:04 EST I have moved http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5646632 If anything could go wrong it did on my moving day. First when i sign lease I found out that the lovely first floor apartment I had wanted had a serious plumbing problem so they had to give me a second floor apartment. That was OK it was even nicer than the one I had wanted. <BR> Second they called me last minute and told me I would have a truck, so i called around and it was indeed to late to get one. so we packed up the cars and carried all the small stuff to the apartment, then i c... Thu, 13 Mar 2014 01:23:50 EST The big move http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5631467 Coming this Friday I will be moving. not the first time probably not the last time. But this move is a first for me I will be getting a place and living there alone. It is exciting and scary I have never lived alone. I have lived with husbands, children and parents my whole live and now I will be doing something new. I found a nice studio apartment that is with in my income range it will be tight but I must be careful but i will be able to make it. <BR> Yesterday I set up the truc... Sun, 23 Feb 2014 10:00:43 EST HI, I am back http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5463623 Cant exercise until after i see the doctor Monday morning, hopefully she will release me. Turns out that the heart can't exercise if oxygen levels are low. Though that was my only symptom turns out I had some kind of pneumonia, Am doing much better now doing some walking, slowly, but better than none until i get clearance to go back to work. Got to get my rest, just wanted everyone to know i didn't quit just got slowed down a bit. Fri, 23 Aug 2013 00:38:06 EST Day four http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5458137 Not my best day, couldn't do treadmill today i tried 3 times for a total of 10 minutes, but my heart rate kept soaring to around 165 and 170. Not sure whats going on so i switched it up today. I did 6 strength training machines 3 sets of 10 each. did 30 minutes on Exercycle, only 10 minutes on the tread mill and of course almost 4 minutes on the Elliptical. My legs hurt like hell, but i did get around 30 minutes in today. so i didn't loose a day. Just not what I planned. Sat, 17 Aug 2013 14:19:29 EST Day three http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5457308 I tried not to go to the gym today, I had some good excuses, but I went, and it was fun. <BR> I did about 6 minutes on the elliptical which is a personal best, hopefully I will soon beat the fear and stay on for more time, but for now I am happy with small improvements. Rode Exercycle for 10 minutes and then walked the treadmill for 35 including cool down. At one point my heart rate was up to 160 and i got dizzy so i had to slow down. ended up keeping heart rate at 140 for 20 minutes. <BR>... Fri, 16 Aug 2013 14:34:08 EST Day two http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5456589 Today was my rest day, I went to the spa with my boyfriend and we spent an hour in the pool, then steam room. ran around the place. Being as i was around water I didn't wear my fit bit, so I am not sure how many actual steps I took. The important thing is that on my day off I didn't sleep, sit and watch TV or eat. I ran around and was as active as possible. One of the goals I have set for myself is to make sure i am active. not always at top speed, but moving, even a walk ever so often... Thu, 15 Aug 2013 21:38:16 EST Day one http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5455170 I am going to post here my workouts, with hope it will hold me accountable. I need to work on follow through. <BR> <BR> Today i went to charter fitness, <BR> worked 10 minutes on the Exercycle this is to loosen leg muscles so that i can walk. works most the time. <BR> Used the treadmill set at a 1.5% incline at 3.0 speed. for 30 and cool off. this is a personal best I wanted to stop a million times, I got out of breath, real sweaty, but no pain so i kept going until i finished walked ... Wed, 14 Aug 2013 14:20:23 EST update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5452730 Counting my blessings. I have so many. I forgot and let the bad things make me feel bad. Now I remember and that with exercise and healthy eating I have made my pain much less. <BR> I started with just the exercises that I learned at my therapists office a few squats and some leg lifts every day and it helped. Just like he said it would. That made me want to feel even better so i started walking a few blocks every day and that helped more. Now my daughter just gave me a year at cha... Mon, 12 Aug 2013 11:01:00 EST life is hard http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5389859 Lost my dad, the house and now work has cut my hours so that i can hardly afford to eat. Fibramyalgia has flared up and with it came the depression. Life is hard it is not always an easy road. <BR> But this blog is not to cry and whine about my troubles it is to remind myself that i have many blessings, many of them. though hard times make it hard to remember. <BR> <BR> I have a job, many people in the world do not have that much. <BR> <BR> I have people in my life that love me, my... Sat, 15 Jun 2013 10:39:27 EST Thank you http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5365387 Thank you all for your kind words on my blog. and thanks to those who gave me spark goodie. Thu, 23 May 2013 08:20:33 EST in memory of.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5365066 My father passed away yesterday around mid day this blog is written to honor his memory and a way to celebrate his life. <BR> <BR> Richard Mulder(Oct 5, 1926-May 21, 2013) Married 55 years to my mother his wife Mildred who passed in 2010. Father to 9, grandfather to 30 and great grand to 21. He worked in a steel mill for over 45 years, Walked miles every day to improve his health after a heart attack in his early 50's. Always upbeat and positive under any and all circumstances. We loved ... Wed, 22 May 2013 22:09:20 EST Moving day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5306229 The house is sold and we are moving one week from today. My kids are getting an apartment and are taking me with them. We are going to a apartment complex that has swimming pools, a fitness center and lovely nature trails for walking. I am looking forward to summer where i can be more active and have a little fun. <BR> <BR> My therapy is helping me to walk a bit. They have me doing some strength training to strengthen my core and help me with endurance. In doing that I am able to escape ... Sun, 31 Mar 2013 11:34:35 EST therapy http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5295431 Yesterday was the first day for my therapy, I will be going for 2 days a week for a month. It was hard made my back really hurt for a while after. The doctor tells me with the exercises that I am learning in therapy will help me control the pain with out medication and I am excited about that. <BR> <BR> So every morning when I wake up I go through the home exercises I have been given they are not hard they are meant to strengthen my core and improve stamina and endurance. I am look... Thu, 21 Mar 2013 20:06:22 EST Hi http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5287228 Have had a couple of rough weeks, the shots that helped my back stop hurting have now worn off and i was almost back to where i started. The good thing is I didn't gain any weight but I didn't loose any either. I tried hard to remain positive but it is so hard when you can't move your legs. So I went to the doctor, he gave me a prescription for some steroids to help relieve the pressure and next week I am going to take therapy for a month. This I hope will teach me what exercises I can do... Fri, 15 Mar 2013 00:59:56 EST short note http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5231497 hi, I am very excited today. I weighed in today and I did it I really did it. I am now under 200lbs. <BR> it took a very long time, but I did it. next goal 180 lbs. I am on a role. <BR> <BR> Thanks spark friends for all you help and motivating stories. I am on my way to a healthier me. Thu, 31 Jan 2013 10:16:45 EST good morning http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5206402 I have finally started my exercise at the gym. a small bout of bronchitis slowed me down a bit, hard to exercise when you can't breath. Three days at the gym last week, netted me a 2 lb loss. It is wonderful, I was stuck for a while and i knew exercise would make a difference. Some reason its very hard to start but now i have the momentum going I should be much better. <BR> <BR> What I discovered: <BR> a small 10 minute ride on the Exercycle, looses up the nerves in my back so I am able... Mon, 14 Jan 2013 10:02:22 EST Happy New year http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5187417 hi I am a person that keeps everything to myself. I don't share the good or bad in my life with anyone. Then I joined spark people, I watched as people shared their stories with others. I saw so many success stories that I became excited that I too could be a success story. <BR> <BR> Then I met my boyfriend who may i say is fantastic. He is always trying to find out how I feel about things, At first I resisted and didn't disclose anything, then little by little I let myself feel, it mad... Thu, 3 Jan 2013 02:12:10 EST Just a few days away http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5179315 New years day is just a few days away and I am preparing for the new year. I want my goals to be set and be ready to make them happen. This year is the year that I follow through. <BR> <BR> My goals are to quit smoking and to break the 200 mark by February. The steps I am taking to achieve these goals are: <BR> <BR> 1. quit smoking. this is number one because the weight won't drop off till i exercise and I can not breath to good anymore. so I start on Jan 1 no more smoking. I ... Fri, 28 Dec 2012 22:15:18 EST Merry Christmas http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5173772 I will be working many hours the next couple of days and may not be able to get on here as I usually do. Long enough to keep my log in streak going I hope. <BR> <BR> My boyfriend gave me my Christmas gift last night. as we will not be together again till after christmas and He told me I could open it when I got home and I did. Its so nice I had to tell someone, so I decided to tell everyone in this blog. <BR> I opened the box to find 2 $150.00 gifts certificates one for me and one for... Sat, 22 Dec 2012 15:24:44 EST Wow http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5170329 I finally did it I signed up for the gym in the park district. It is a small, but clean gym with many machines and plenty of space. I walked on the treadmill for about 11 minutes, not much i admit but it is a start. it opens at 6am so if i get up early i can go every morning before I do the things I have to do each day. Of course I plan on more than 10 minutes each day, but today I have a date so I needed to be quick. <BR> <BR> I checked out the exercise bike and the elliptical today onl... Tue, 18 Dec 2012 16:55:41 EST not feeling to well today http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5166353 Hi, I am not feeling to well today, I am tired with and upset stomach and some other digestive issues. <BR> I have a bunch of junk to do today and am having problems leaving my chair. My bed looks so nice right now its all I can do not to turn around and jump back in. The cats are there keeping it nice and warm for me. <BR> <BR> I will get my stuff done i don't have much choice with everyone else gone its up to me to get it done. then I will relax before I go to work. One good thing ... Fri, 14 Dec 2012 10:31:17 EST taking a trip http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5164059 I am off in a couple hours to see dad in Oakwood. I miss him a lot, but he is so happy visiting Chirs, so I will make the trip ever couple of weeks. the good thing is that I also am getting to know my sister better and we are becoming friends. <BR> <BR> I will not be getting mush exersise today 4 hours driving will pretty much do me in I am going to try to fit in a couple 10 minutes spurts during the day. this will help me keep awake and alert as i drive. <BR> <BR> everyone have a wonde... Wed, 12 Dec 2012 08:02:25 EST Celebration Time http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5161185 It is time to celebrate, I am jumping up and down with joy. My pants all size 22 need a belt or they fell down, they were no longer comfortable so I decided even if it was not the time yet to go try on some pants at Walmart. Much to my excitement, I can now wear a size 18. they fit nice not to tight and not to loose. I bought 2 pair. The scale doesn't show much right now, but I don't care I feel great and I can wear a size 18. What more could a girl want. Sun, 9 Dec 2012 14:54:26 EST Happy Holidays http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5156963 Holiday season is here, many people are shopping and otherwise preparing for their Christmas dinners or family get together. It is a fun time of year and particular tough for those of us that are trying to keep healthy lifestyles. I work at Walgreens so i will be working christmas eve and christmas day, but our family will have an early chrismas so I may join in and of course their own christmas on christmas day. My family is still out in oakwood, due to my fathers health he is not doing a... Wed, 5 Dec 2012 10:20:39 EST Hello http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5144575 I ate a lot, but tried not to go over my calories too much, I don't want to spend a lot of time playing catch up. I made the family Jello mold using sugar free jello and low fat cottage cheese and sugar free fruit. tasted the same and the family loved it. I didn't tell them I tweeked. why spoil the fun. <BR> <BR> Dad is at Chris's house he is out of the hospital, he now has to use oxygen, and can't travel for a couple of weeks, but he is doing fine and at last report was giving Chris a ... Fri, 23 Nov 2012 21:32:31 EST Happy Thanksgiving http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5143175 Happy thanksgiving to all my sparks friends. <BR> yesterday as I drove to oakwood with my brother,his young child and the dog, to spend today with my family my father had a heart attack., I drove as fast as i could to get here scared and frustrated because he was so far away. It was so scarry, but even in this I have so much to be thankful for 1st my brother in law is an EMT he knew what to do there was no hesitation dad was taken care of and gotten in the hospital fast. allthough he will... Thu, 22 Nov 2012 06:40:36 EST hi http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5141433 Just checking in things are good, getting ready to make the trip to Oakwood, IL to pick up my family and enjoy dinner at my sisters house. It will be the first family meal since I restarted sparkpeople so I am up for a challenge. The good thing is that my brother in law has weight issues and I got him started at sparkpeople last year so they will be more understanding to my eating issues. so their should be no hard feelings when i choose to skip the dessert. <BR> <BR> My family has been... Tue, 20 Nov 2012 11:12:34 EST computerless days http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5139084 after my computer broke my friend gave me a new one, and what did I do I broke it. I installed virus ware into the thing when it had some already I thought I uninstalled it but it was still there. the two of them got into a fight and killed my computer. so I had to go out and find a computer guy to fix it. It was my great fortune to find a guy that was not only reasonable in price but very sensitive to my problem and I got it back in 2 days. I also learned a valuable lesson. Never ass... Sun, 18 Nov 2012 08:38:38 EST Good morning http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5131575 hope everyone has had a good weekend. <BR> <BR> Mine was nice I worked most of it. a couple of days ago my computer died. I set up desktop, but its so old took 20 minutes to get log in points. so I didn't do much else, but I am up and running again. Was a hard couple of days. <BR> <BR> Sun, 11 Nov 2012 13:27:53 EST HI http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5127121 good morning everyone. Thanks to all for comments to my last blog. <BR> <BR> I am here alone this week my family is at my sisters house some where south of here. They are having a great time. A change in scenery is always a good thing for a short time. I have had to cook for myself this week and feed the pets, not much work but something I am not used to. I am walking the dog more, good for me, and the dog loves it. doing more house work, so their vacation is really turning out to be g... Wed, 7 Nov 2012 10:08:43 EST fitbit http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5126154 Yesterday I got my fitbit zip. I am excited today I logged it in and attached it to sparkpeople,com, then I went for a walk only to see if it works, it did I am excited. I am looking forward to using it. I think i am up to the challenge we shall see <BR> <BR> everyone have a great day Tue, 6 Nov 2012 12:33:30 EST Vacation http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5119166 Last day of my vacation tomorrow I go back to work. I actually am looking forward to it. I have many friends and customers that encourage me to keep up on my lifestyle change. I talk to many people and tell many of them about spark people. I do believe with out sparks people any progress I have made would not have happened. <BR> <BR> I hope every one has a gread day. be well Wed, 31 Oct 2012 13:39:55 EST Good Morning http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5105921 This morning I got up and went to the laundry mat. fed the animals and put dinner is the slow cooker. After I went the store and picked up oatmeal (hard to eat if the cabinet is empty) made breakfast I ate came to spark people to read, post my fitness and food goals and read some articles. I have a few more things to do before going to work. Then I stopped and said wow look at me, I have so much energy and can keep going. Yes I am excited and so proud. <BR> Why you might ask is this a b... Sat, 20 Oct 2012 11:30:27 EST Walking http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5101390 I have started walking, but I am slow and didn't make more than a mile or so a day, so I knew I needed motivation, something that help me not to make excuses to walk. <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/4/9/l495271257.jpg"> <BR> and there she is. 2 trips down the street and baby girl has a habit formed. Wish it was that easy for me. <BR> now every morning when she gets up she brings me her leash and won't stop till we walk. She is small and quick and I have to push myself to keep... Tue, 16 Oct 2012 13:51:05 EST 183 Days http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5089819 In 183 days I logged in to sparks people every day. The longest streak for me ever in anything. This marks the beginning of my new life. The changes that have happened in this time frame. <BR> <BR> I have learned to like water, not just to tolerate it or drink it because its good for me I now Like and need my water every day. <BR> <BR> I have learned to make proper food choices most of the time and am currently working on portion control. <BR> <BR> I have more energy than I can ever reme... Sun, 7 Oct 2012 10:17:05 EST Nutrition problems http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5057684 Hi I am back this time I am working much slower making goals that I can keep and learning to love healthy food. (that one is a challenge) I walk about 30 minutes a day health allowing, sometimes its not easy, but I know I need exercise to be healthy. My problem is nutrition, I can not get it right, I go under my goal in calories and most nutrients they only one I can get goal is sodium. if I try to get the calories up I end up with too much sodium. Today I added some fruit into my diet.(... Thu, 13 Sep 2012 13:40:09 EST Nutrition problems http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5057683 Hi I am back this time I am working much slower making goals that I can keep and learning to love healthy food. (that one is a challenge) I walk about 30 minutes a day health allowing, sometimes its not easy, but I know I need exercise to be healthy. My problem is nutrition, I can not get it right, I go under my goal in calories and most nutrients they only one I can get goal is sodium. if I try to get the calories up I end up with too much sodium. Today I added some fruit into my diet.(... Thu, 13 Sep 2012 13:40:08 EST 2010 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2801090 2010 has got a good start. I personally do not believe in resolutions, but I do believe in goals. <BR> Mine for this year are <BR> to loose at least 30 lbs by the time I finish grad school, <BR> be able to exercise for an hour a day <BR> and to start some strength training <BR> and for the big one to quit smoking. <BR> as of today I am going to quit smoking a 35 year habit. I want to do it without gaining weight. so I must stick to healthy eating. Tue, 26 Jan 2010 19:00:45 EST today http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2772478 All the things going on in my life I lost track of my goals. but I am back on track need to loose 30lbs to get back to where I belong, but the good news is I caught myself before I blew the whole thing. I have so many health problems, I need to get back on track to manage the pain. <BR> <BR> short term goals <BR> drink 8 glasses of water a day - accomplished 3 days <BR> eat healthier meals - accomplished 3 days <BR> My goal weight is 130 lbs. but i want to loose 1 lb a week maybe 2 at... Wed, 20 Jan 2010 13:39:41 EST Good morning everyone http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2194437 Hi, I hope all are doing well, I have been away from spark for a week or so, and I am so glad to be back. I learned a great lesson while I was gone and wanted to share. my lesson It is great to be alive. last week my appendix burst, doctors were scrambling, muttering things like this is really bad, there doesn't seem to be much of a chance, or course i could not hear most of the conversations, my ears seemed to pick up only negative words. I was scared really scared more than ever in ... Wed, 1 Jul 2009 08:10:40 EST school today http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2156409 Today is my class day and for once in a long time I am totally prepared for class, finished my homework did the required readings. I also did some exercise today, in the house because its raining again. I would like to know when the rain will stop and the sun will shine. My spirit is getting damp, Have a great day, despite the icky weather. Tue, 16 Jun 2009 17:03:42 EST learn something new every day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2149818 I believe that everyone should learn one new thing every day, more is OK but one is necessary. Learning helps to keep your brain active. The thing I have learned is that I can love myself, and there is nothing wrong with that. Each day that goes by I learn to have one positive thought toward myself. Which helps me to be motivated toward my goals and to being a better person. <BR> <BR> lesson one Love yourself if you don't can you blaime anyone else for not loving you Sun, 14 Jun 2009 14:04:35 EST just thoughts http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2147177 I started sparks people so long ago, my journey not easy, with a husband that is so insecure that he belittles my efforts to loose weight, and my own insecurities that feed into that some times. But my life isn't about the things that are not right, its about finally getting me to be me. As I work through my problems I am finding out who I am and what I want to be when I grow up and its to that goal I am working. Sparkpeople have made that possible for me, with all the support and caring. ... Sat, 13 Jun 2009 09:04:02 EST Hello http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2145816 Still having muscle and bone problems, but at least now the doctor is looking for the why? makes me feel better knowing that maybe there will be a chance to fix or control the pain. I have gained a couple of pounds not doing anything different I guess thats just what happens now and then. I am not terrible upset about it now. Fell the other day getting out of my chair. and broke a couple bones in my foot. so i can only do exercises in the house that are sitting down. Not sad today or depre... Fri, 12 Jun 2009 15:19:36 EST i feel so bad http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2114763 I feel awful, I have muscle spasms in my arms and legs, it hurts to lay down and my hands and feet keep going numb all this is really making it hard for me to remain positive. I have had tests and they all come out negative, nothing is wrong, I can't keep feeling like this the more I work out the worse i feel. the doctors look at me like i am imagining the pain. I just don't know what to do. Tue, 2 Jun 2009 01:34:09 EST oh my http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=2091537 After being up all night coughing, and choking for night after night I have come to the decision that I need and must stop smoking. So I stopped its been 24 an d1/2 hours. I am hoping that soon I will feel better, I can not think about anything clearly, my head is foggy, I am shaking, and wanting to scream or cry or something. I don't know what to do, so its one day at a time. little by little. I will cry, scream whatever it is necessary but I have to be sucessful. ok thanks for listeni... Mon, 25 May 2009 14:07:21 EST