BARDIC_GRRL's SparkPeople Blog BARDIC_GRRL's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Getting my weight loss on! No, nothing exciting to report about my weight, but my employer is trying a pilot program with an EXPENSIVE, and kind of impressive online weight loss management program. I was one of the few selected to participate. <BR> Between that and all the attention my new doctor is paying to my weight loss efforts, I feel really supported, up close and personal. I don't know if I have words to describe that feeling. Fri, 17 Apr 2015 15:50:18 EST Still here, still working it I had to give up my lovely login and tracking streaks. I can't log in from home, it eats up too many megabytes, and I've been too busy at work, and outside of work to find myself a nice restaurant seat for online work. <BR> On the work front the economic funk has finally hit Alaska, and we're being asked to do more with less. On the home front my 84 year old mother got caught up in a phone scam, something I never thought she would do in a million years. I may have to consider renting out m... Fri, 10 Apr 2015 14:59:54 EST Snow I had to get up at OMG:30 to get my son to work this morning. The old me would have thrown the skis on the roof of the car and headed for the hills. The current me sits on the couch with a cup of coffee and my budget, trying to make sure (for the thousandth time) that we will survive the month, and wondering why I'm in this awful funk. <BR> Well, I may not be in shape for skiing, but there's no ice out there. I'm going to put on some warm pants and go for a short run. <BR> Oh yes, and abou... Sun, 5 Apr 2015 12:58:08 EST Not my best day Not my worst either, but I tracked nothing today. Didn't need to. I had an emergency root canal. I've hardly eaten anything all week. <BR> But I'm back now, and I need to catch up on my training. Thu, 2 Apr 2015 23:36:09 EST Tracking the wild streak. I haven't blogged in a while. It isn't that I had nothing to say, I always have something to say. I just didn't have anything to say that I wanted to share. Maybe that's selfish, I don't know. Sometimes I like to slump off to my cave and hide for a while. <BR> While in my cave this time I came up with this brilliant idea: I can't control how much weight comes off my body but I can control my calorie deficit. Eureka! I'm a genius! <BR> Who woulda thought of that one? <BR> Okay, so I'm a... Tue, 17 Mar 2015 14:24:15 EST Friday morning, not the 13th yet I just realized that we have 2 Friday the 13th's in a row this year. Bummer! <BR> I'm still doing pretty well on my new regimen. This week my feet have been swelling a bit, and the scale crept back up the 2 lb I lost last week. But since I can see the changes in my body, I know that's fluid weight. Somewhere in there I've lost more fat. So YAY for that. <BR> I tried to go out for a short run this morning, but the road is too icy. We had freezing rain yesterday. I walked instead and sti... Fri, 6 Mar 2015 12:01:28 EST Registered for the triathlon I registered this morning for the spring Gold Nugget triathlon. No wonder I never date, all my events are for women only. Sheeze! Mon, 2 Mar 2015 15:55:54 EST Adjusted to the new schedule I've finally got a feel for the rhythm of our new household schedule, and I'm ready to add triathlon training back in. Not a moment too soon either. Registration for my main event is tomorrow, and I have to be ready to go by mid May. <BR> <BR> Note to self: Must discuss with doctor intense training on the diet pill. I'm going to start by swimming easy laps to get back up to the minimum 10+5 needed. Also t's almost time to get the bike out and cleaned up for the summer. I have to start ... Sun, 1 Mar 2015 13:13:45 EST diet pill day 1 At my appointment yesterday, we talked about my caloric intake, and where we should go now. I hadn't wanted to do this, but I've decided to try a diet pill. She prescribed Phentermine, and I took the first dose this morning. The first thing I noticed was that my body tremors went away. I'm not sure what that might mean, but it sure is nice. I've been in a positive mood all day, which was a surprise because I have trouble with depression. <BR> It is having an effect on my appetite, but th... Sat, 28 Feb 2015 19:40:57 EST More about tracking Trying to add more vegetables. Oddly enough I thought I was eating lots of veg, but I was throwing more away than I was eating. <BR> Tonight we had raw sliced vegetables with burgers (no bun for me, I hate GF burger buns). I also brought about a pound of sliced veg to work for snacking. Did much the same thing yesterday. <BR> I feel better today. Wed, 25 Feb 2015 01:53:10 EST No phone call from my doctor It's been a while since my thyroid test, and I haven't gotten a call from the doctor's office. That means my thyroid is okay. This is good, but it doesn't help me figure out why I can't seem to lose any weight. 33 days now, I've been logging my food and my exercise, keeping within my calorie limits, drinking my water. <BR> The scale and my waistline have not budged. I'm tired, and I'm losing what little hope I had left. It's not that I want to eat junk food, or stuff myself or anything, ... Sun, 22 Feb 2015 01:02:36 EST Day 4 food tracking streak and other emotional situations Today's Spark Coach session was on maintaining after you've achieved your goal. Considering that I've been back and tracking for 39 days now (missed one day of tracking on Sunday), and have not seen the scale so much as wobble in a downward motion, that kind of took the wind out of my sails so to speak. <BR> I really was having a pretty good day otherwise, but this whole thing is just depressing. <BR> I know, check other measurements. Well, the size 24W's that I just grew into before coming... Fri, 20 Feb 2015 20:29:34 EST Day 2, my new food tracking streak and why not the others So I ask myself, because I rarely get to talk about this stuff with anyone else, why am I so worried about my food tracking streak that got reset yesterday, on account of because I forgot to track on Sunday? (Is that what they call a run-on sentence?) <BR> I'm not really worried. I fumbled just one day. Poof! It's over. No big deal. But I am determined. All the other ducks are already lined up neatly in a row. This one thing I really have trouble with, so yes, I'm pretty focused on it... Tue, 17 Feb 2015 19:50:39 EST My new health plan This is my Sparkcoach assignment for today. I am supposed to make a new health plan, and post about it. <BR> I am already committed, or should be. I am decluttering my home. I've already bought a Dyson vacuum cleaner (Tank), and a Roomba (Dot), and am in the market for more effective dusters, reach bars, etc. All of this is because I am highly allergic to dust. For years now I have been hiding in a corner, trying not to disturb it, but now I am hunting wabbits (bunnies of the dust variet... Mon, 16 Feb 2015 17:00:25 EST Well, piffle! Day 1, tracking food. I forgot to track my food yesterday. I ate okay, I guess, but was just too desperate to get my reading assignment done, and my weekly class check-in accounted for. <BR> So, back I go into the single digits. Mon, 16 Feb 2015 14:52:20 EST Food tracking streak day 32 Is it my imagination, or is the air getting thin up here? I haven't been losing weight, but the panic response is wearing out, and I've started experimenting with the calorie range and food types to see if I can get some downward progression. <BR> I still feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster, and having trouble hanging onto everyday living though. Falling behind on the reading for my class, not spending that little bit of time everyday decluttering that makes such a big difference i... Fri, 13 Feb 2015 15:28:39 EST Brief checkin at 30th day of my streak My 24 year old son is getting annoyed with me for hanging out on the computer :). My, how they do change as they grow up. <BR> <BR> Anyway, day 30 and still tracking my food every day. Yay me! Thu, 12 Feb 2015 00:42:46 EST 28 day streak, and cute animal pictures too That's right, I have cute animal pictures to share. How wonderful of me. But first, I've been logging on to SP and tracking my food for 28 days now. This being February and all, does that count as a month? <BR> So now on to the real topic of this blog. Yesterday was a busy day for me; Sundays always are. I always strip my bed and wash all of the bedding. Fortunately, Sassy was there to help. <BR> <img src=""> <BR> After I was done l... Mon, 9 Feb 2015 15:55:22 EST Morning? Already? Wow! I used to get up at 4:30 every morning for work. I can't believe I did that. This morning my son had to be to work by 7:00, and he can't seem to wake up to his alarm...besides, he doesn't drive. It's been 4 hours since I got up, and I'm still groggy and wanting nothing more than to curl up on the couch with the small dog. <BR> I ate, I signed on to Sparkcoach, I tracked my breakfast. Next I strip my bed and start the laundry going. <BR> Then I can curl up on the couch with the small... Sun, 8 Feb 2015 12:22:54 EST A promise to myself Yesterday was a huge emotional low point for me. I promised myself a better day today, starting with counting my blessings, going to careful measuring with my tracking, and so on. <BR> I didn't wake up well, probably because of all the junk food I ate yesterday...well, at least I tracked it. <em>20</em> <BR> So I'm moving on to step 2, and pretending I woke up in the right frame of mind. Everything that goes into my mouth, just for today, will be carefully measured. <BR> Blessing 1: M... Sat, 7 Feb 2015 14:28:18 EST 25 day streak and asked for help I've figured it out; I've given up hope. In the past I've been able to get enthused about starting a weight loss plan because I believed I could do it. This time I'm going through the motions, but the hope is gone. I joined Sparkcoach yesterday, and today's assignment was to picture myself in the future being at my goal weight. I can't do that anymore. <BR> I've got pictures of myself back in the days when I was slender posted on my fridge, I'm tracking consistently, and I just don't beli... Fri, 6 Feb 2015 15:46:45 EST I hate Thursdays I do, mostly because they're not Fridays. Of course, I hate Friday mornings because they're not Friday afternoons. And then before you know it, I've hated the whole week away. No, what's bothering me about this particular Thursday is that I have 2 big picture windows right where I can see them at work. The sky is bright blue, and the snow on the evergreens is all pretty and shiny. But I have to keep my focus on 3, yes, that's right, 3, computer monitors and do the same thing over and ove... Thu, 5 Feb 2015 19:54:35 EST 22 days? Seriously? Me? SP thinks I've been tracking my food for 5 days, only because I didn't notice that I wasn't signed up for a tracking streak. The correct number is 22, that's my official log in streak. This being February, that's just 6 days short of a month. <BR> I also can't quite believe where I am in my housekeeping. It's going to be a while before it's really good, but I can already feel the difference in the air. There's nowhere near as much dust. <BR> Then there's school. I got caught up this week... Tue, 3 Feb 2015 14:36:00 EST Falling in love with a robot I'm going to admit here something that I've never admitted anywhere before. I have gotten a bunch of rough breaks in life. Really. I know everybody has their fair share of bumps and rough spots, and yes, I know that some of it was due to my own decisions. But Jeez! Not going into details here, but that's just as background. <BR> Yesterday (Sunday) was day 2 of life with my little robot vac. Dottie (Dot for short) <img src=""> <BR> Sun... Mon, 2 Feb 2015 14:27:36 EST How to bow out gracefully? At the department meeting today, the Director of Admissions indicated that she had made a batch of gluten free muffins just special for me. I ate one. It was pretty good, but I'd just had a bowl of oatmeal and I wasn't hungry, and besides I'm fighting a pre-diabetic condition. I'd gone over to get a strawberry, just one, and a cup of coffee. <BR> What should I have done? Mon, 2 Feb 2015 14:02:40 EST The best sort of Saturday. No, I didn't get a huge amount of exercise, and I didn't finish my Lit. homework, and the house is still not totally clean. <BR> Today started with a friend coming over for coffee and some creative work/fun. We're designing t-shirts to sell at the Saturday market. <BR> I got most of the dishes done, then picked out the fabric to repair my couch, got the main floor clear enough to finally try out my new-to-me vacuum systems. First I hit the floor with the Dyson. OMG! I've decided to name h... Sun, 1 Feb 2015 03:15:30 EST Spark-ish, just a bit I'm not retracting my humbug statement of a few weeks ago, not yet anyway. But I've given myself a little space to think. <BR> Thinking is a dangerous occupation. Thinking can lead to great clarity or total insanity, depending on how you control your thought process. My thought processes often behave like a car stuck on full throttle. They generally outstrip my collected wisdom. So much like speeding through a treacherous road system, I often either crash and burn or end up in the wrong ... Fri, 30 Jan 2015 18:39:40 EST Streak day 16 I went over my calories yesterday. No reason, or excuse, I just did. Today I'm eating minimally in spite of not being hungry. It's after 4:00 and my tracker tells me I need to eat more than 1000 more calories. I'm not sure that I will, but I will track. <BR> <BR> Still hating it, still not seeing any change on my scale. Tomorrow afternoon I go in to talk to my doctor about thyroid testing. Wed, 28 Jan 2015 20:12:42 EST 14 days and still streaking It's true. I have faithfully entered every morsel I've eaten for the last 14 days. This morning my arch enemy, the scale, informed me I'd gained a pound. It's probably salt intake, but not only have I been tracking, I haven't been going over my calories. If I don't lose something soon my doctor's going to put me through thyroid testing. <BR> In other news, my declutter efforts have been a stunning success. My living room is still not inhabitable, but my kitchen, the main bathroom, and th... Mon, 26 Jan 2015 17:46:38 EST Tracking streak still intact I ate well under my allowance today, but I just don't want anymore. It's been a long day and I'm tired, so I'm going to cuddle up in my nice warm bed with a cozy mystery and my little dog. Sun, 25 Jan 2015 01:53:28 EST Day 10, sparking maybe, just a bit. Just saying. No big kaboom or anything, and my scale and I still aren't speaking, but that's all right. I hear the toilets in Japan talk. I don't think I could handle that. Thu, 22 Jan 2015 21:14:38 EST Food tracking streak day 9 Nothing else to report. It's been a long day, and I'm off to bed. Thu, 22 Jan 2015 01:26:25 EST One day at a time This weekend was good. It wasn't great, I seemed to do just about everything the hardest way possible, but I had a good time, and I tracked everything. <BR> I made a nuisance of myself at Olive Garden yesterday..."gluten free menu please. Is that gluten free? Is this gluten free? Do you have a gluten free desert menu, just out of idle curiousity because I'm not getting any?" They didn't even throw me out. What a nice bunch of people! <BR> Today is another day, and I had to track the cor... Tue, 20 Jan 2015 17:55:47 EST An extra day off from work! Oh yeah. It's Monday and I'm hanging out in my jammies. Shh! Don't tell Flylady. I've even done a little housework in this state. What a bad grrl am i! <BR> I've already tracked my breakfast, and set my grapefruit aside for a snack in a little while. <BR> I see blue sky overhead, but the sun hasn't gotten there yet, so from my window it looks like a gray day. We had an unseasonal thaw last week, so I'm looking at nude yellow grass and a bunch of sticks that, come spring, will once again be a lila... Mon, 19 Jan 2015 15:59:59 EST Streaking in to day 6 Yup, that's right. I'm still grumpy about the whole tracking thing, but I've managed 6 days of daily food tracking anyway. The scale stubbornly refuses to budge, but that's another issue. The scale and I are not on speaking terms anyway. Sun, 18 Jan 2015 21:32:54 EST Still no spark Nope. Not a single one. Just another day of tracking my food and exercise. Having the day alone in the house to read my World Lit assignment was unexpectedly nice though. <BR> Well, off to clean the sink and head for bed. I'm leaving the dinner dishes for morning though. I can't expect all the bad habits to disappear at once. Sun, 18 Jan 2015 03:22:40 EST Up late and rambling because the kitchen is closed What is it about blogging that draws me? It's not like anyone is reading them. I knew that would be the case when I decided to quit pretending to be cheerful 24/7. <BR> I mean It's not like I spend my life with a little storm cloud over my head, I just need to get a little more real about life the universe and, well, me. <BR> I had a wonderful time tonight; the whole family got together for dinner at my brother's place. We had 2 tables full of people, the table I was at was discussing the ... Sat, 17 Jan 2015 05:51:55 EST Friday, and still streaking I don't really know that I have much to add to that. It's Friday. I'm still tracking my food. Nothing else to report. <BR> I've always had issues with trying to make people think I'm this terminally happy person. That's the way I was taught to behave. That made me nothing but miserable, and with no-one to talk to about how I really felt. <BR> My life has been in the toilet for so long that I need climbing gear to get out. I'm on antidepressants, and anti-anxiety meds, and now that my do... Fri, 16 Jan 2015 17:33:29 EST Marking time I'm on day 3 of my food tracking streak. I find myself with no overriding urge to continue, I just know that this is the one thing I've never been successful at, and it's supposed to be hugely helpful in weight loss. <BR> <BR> Still hating it. Still doing it. Please let there be results. Fri, 16 Jan 2015 03:25:12 EST Getting to the fundimentals. Funny how things work. I know that I need buddies on this journey. I've had lots of Spark friends in the past, but I'm an old fashioned kind of grrl, and I need my accountability buddy to be local. This can sometimes be a challenge. <BR> <BR> I did have one of those moments of synchronicity today though. One of the pictures I have rotating on my computer desktop at work happens to have the SP logo on it, and the coworker from the cubicle behind me just happened to walk by my desk during the 2 minute interval wh... Wed, 14 Jan 2015 21:50:27 EST Keeping on keeping on Functionally I guess this is day 2 for me, but only because I finally logged my food again. I wish I could find a way to make this stuff fun. Tue, 13 Jan 2015 22:01:31 EST I'm.back.again *sigh* Here we go again. My GP retired recently, making it necessary for me to find a new doctor. Happily, my old doctor found his own replacement. She wants me to (GAG! CHOKE!) keep a food journal. <BR> <BR> Yes, I know she's right. So okay, here I go again. May the gods of weight maintenance guide and protect me. Thu, 8 Jan 2015 22:07:06 EST It's been HOW long? No, not really. February since I last hopped on SP? Okay, here's the update: <BR> <BR> Fought with my brother, nobody won. What a shock. <BR> Sister is back in Ireland. *SNIFF!* <BR> Completed Gold Nugget Triathlon almost 1/2 hour faster than last year!!!!! YAY! <BR> Put on some pounds that I haven't recorded yet. <em>15</em> <BR> <BR> Okay. Now we're pretty much up to date. <BR> <BR> Hugs all around! Wed, 21 May 2014 20:13:34 EST busy week with more to come So busy this week! I know it's going to get busier too. I'm loving it, because it represents positive movement both in my professional life and in my social life. At the same time, I'm having an even harder time fitting in proper nutrition and good exercise. <BR> <BR> I think it's up to me now, to adjust to the transition, and fit in what I need to stay healthy and lose weight. I love where my life is going right now! <BR> <BR> <img src=" Thu, 13 Feb 2014 18:19:02 EST Moose at Work Pardon me for slipping off topic, but we had a couple of moose wander into the parking lot at work on Friday. I'd like to share the pictures. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> Mountain Moose <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> The sign said STOP, so don't come crying to me if you wind up with somebody's front bumper wrapped around your backside. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeopl... Sat, 8 Feb 2014 17:23:48 EST Wading through the muck Here in Alaska we have a slightly different name for spring. We call it Breakup. When it finally arrives around late April we are all delighted with the lovely little green leaves sprouting all over the place. But if you look down, you discover all the "stuff" that was hiding in the snow all winter. It's icky and grimy and mucky and just plain nasty. <BR> <BR> Why am I talking about Breakup when it's still so far away? Because it reminds me of where I am in my counseling sessions. I ha... Thu, 6 Feb 2014 13:05:38 EST I'm still here, really 2014 has brought me new opportunities, lots of them. I'm feeling better about myself and my life than I have in a very long time. With those opportunities are challenges that are consuming pretty much all of my time. <BR> <BR> I will stop by when I can, but sure am glad that my Fitbit is set up to automatically sync with SP. Otherwise I'd have no presence here at all. <BR> <BR> Much love to all. <BR> <BR> B_G Fri, 17 Jan 2014 13:32:07 EST Just for today, I'm back and doing baby steps Writing a novel in a month is like taking an exciting adventure through my own subconscious. What a weird and wonderful journey it was! <BR> But I'm back and taking the first baby steps toward getting my eating back on track. Popcorn is no longer okay for dinner. Sucking back coffee until my eyes vibrate, also not so good. <BR> <BR> I started my first Monday in December with a mocha, and then switched to green tea and had fruit salad for breakfast. <BR> <BR> I hope everybody had a Happy ... Mon, 2 Dec 2013 15:20:13 EST Yes, I'm still here. I know I haven't been dropping my gems of wisdom lately. Just wanted to let folks know I'm still around. <BR> <BR> I write a novel every November. No, I'm not published, yes that is the idea, but this is my time. I will see you all in December. <BR> <BR> <em>2</em> <em>40</em> <em>198</em> Fri, 15 Nov 2013 11:40:32 EST Rambling Saturday morning report I'm a cheerful morning person, but one thing I don't deal well with first thing in the morning is change. Since I haven't logged in for a while, this is the first time I've seen the new start page; I will reserve judgement until I've had my coffee. <BR> <BR> I got in an extra 500+ steps yesterday beyond the recommended 10,000. That's because I had to drop off my car to get the winter tires on and I didn't see any way of getting a ride to work. Work is roughly 3 miles from the auto shop, s... Sat, 26 Oct 2013 14:13:46 EST