BABYSTEP1's SparkPeople Blog BABYSTEP1's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Why are my ankles still poofy I could understand it when I was pregnant, but oh course, I am not. Tue, 7 Jun 2011 20:47:57 EST Umm, what can I say? It is Saturday night and I need to get myself off this computer and out, so bye ya'll. Sat, 4 Jun 2011 20:34:43 EST What happened to Edema when I had skinny legs. "Your sister is Fiiinnneeee!" At least that is the first thing guys would say, with that appreciative look young men seemed to always have when my sister's name was mentioned. Well actually there really wasn't a second thing to say after they did the once over and found my legs were too long and thin, for their taste, for their neighborhood. Flash forward 20 years and x amount of fluid retention and boy would I be considered fiiiinnnnnneeeee too. <em>334</em> <BR> <BR> I miss you Sis. x... Thu, 2 Jun 2011 23:08:47 EST I am doing spring cleaning, does watch a movie, drinking diet dr pepper, among all of the nifty supplies I bought to clean count as spring cleaning? <BR> <BR> <em>334</em> <BR> <BR> P.S. Dang, the dryer buzzer just sounded. Umm, maybe if I give it another hour of drying, I could finish my soda and the movie before I have to do any actual work. Sun, 29 May 2011 15:41:06 EST Fight the Dragons I am so taking on the images that others have of me. Isn't it odd that when you allow others to mistreat you for so long that they are very surprised when you put your foot down. Are should I say, put your foot up their @$$$$$! <BR> <BR> <em>334</em> Fri, 27 May 2011 19:06:52 EST Will not over train in response. After reading an article, I could see that I could quickly become one of those people who developed emotional issues related to my health. Today I have my cube mates virus, normally I would freak about not exercising, but today will let it go and be on track when I am better. <em>100</em> Mon, 23 May 2011 14:31:37 EST On of these days.... One of these days: <BR> I will be lose excess weight <BR> I will be strong <BR> I will be healthy <BR> I will read and keep things clean the easy way <BR> I will save <BR> I will budget <BR> I will be at peace <BR> I will be happy <BR> I will finish my education <BR> I will stop saying "One of these days" and do all that is important to me. <BR> <BR> Oh wait, one day came and I started taking the steps I need to reach my "one of these days" goals!!! <BR> <BR> I am feeling prett... Tue, 17 May 2011 18:04:00 EST Telling others to take a "flying leap" and meaning it was the cure. I have spent the last few years being nice to others . .at my expense. I am more important than anyone else but yet I stopped believing that. I got fed up with being so concerned about others and not about me. I started putting my foot down and letting others know where to "get off" and just like that, the anger and depression was gone!!! <BR> <BR> <BR> <em>211</em> Mon, 16 May 2011 21:20:46 EST I am held hostage by past experiences and my ever encompassing emotions. I am often so angry at myself for letting my many failures and lack of entitlement engulf my every sense of self. This is why I eat, this is why I cry, this is why I close myself off. I must change, I must see myself as strong and capable and change my pain and fear. <em>39</em> Sat, 7 May 2011 00:34:46 EST Somebody.....Please Help I DON'T UNDERSTAND. WHAT IS HAPPENING, AND HOW DO I STOP IT???!!! I started really pumping up my exercise, I believe my walks this week are probably what is considered power walking. But when I finish walk I immediately become very, very, very hungry for sweets. For example; today on my lunch break I walked very hard (nearly 3 miles in 45 minutes). When I returned to my desk, I consumed the apple and water I had left for myself. A few minutes later I hit the snack machine for a granola bar then then ate a couple chocolate candy bars and a diet lemonade. ... Wed, 4 May 2011 18:29:36 EST I have done well for four days I did eat some caramel corn as a snack and I did eat something offered, but not very much so I did well. Thu, 13 Jan 2011 17:42:53 EST 2011 and BabyStep1 is back to Baby Step "1" Lets be honest, in 2010 I gained more weight in the shortest period of time since 2000. It wasn't supposed to be that way. I see no need for excuses, so I am just going to say it was a poor performance year, but a good learning year. <BR> <BR> Now on to 2011. I am going to start again, once again. I am back to taking BabySteps one at a time. I have a lot of changes to make. Poor emotional health is the cause, compulsive eating and spending are the symptoms, and poor health and finances ... Sun, 9 Jan 2011 17:44:44 EST I want a 'Do Over" I cannot turn back the hands of time, but I can start were I am. Mon, 25 Oct 2010 22:04:52 EST It is not that I have gained weight, but that I have lost muscle. The scales show about 184, maybe 185 depending on when I hop on. So I really haven't gained any weight, it is just distributed differently. My tummy is much bigger, my exercise amount is much smaller and my emotional eating is all over the place. I have returned to work and I am so tired that my legs feel shaky. <BR> <BR> I need to get things under control and back on track, but slowly, thoughtfully and with patience. <BR> <BR> <em>230</em> Tue, 29 Jun 2010 03:43:25 EST Due to an illness I have not logged into the Spark for 63 days It will be some weeks (or months depending on what my doc says) before I can exercise so I will be changing my priorities, programs and goals for a while. But it is good to be better and working to get back on track. I supposed I should have spent more time resting, eating properly and doing the medical stuff necessary. However, I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to keep myself from being bored and stressed, so I will try starting that today. Mind you, it is nearly 3:30 in the... Tue, 8 Jun 2010 04:18:59 EST I am going to get out and enjoy friends and family This is not my strong point. I tend to go home after work and lock myself in front of the tv. But today I am going to work to change that. I will start enjoying doing things with others again. I am not sure why I stopped. Oh I know why, because I was doing mandatory overtime for such a long time that I forgot about the world. Sun, 11 Apr 2010 10:50:45 EST Eaten myself sick After walking for 7 hours yesterday, I started craving something. Although I am not really sure what I am craving I have eaten more candy than I thought possible. So any gains I may have gotten from the exercise is probably void from the excess junk I ate today. <em>39</em> Sun, 4 Apr 2010 17:45:51 EST You’re worth it all, baby! You’ll see. I liked the Spark's article about Journaling for better self-esteem. I just need to keep a journal near my bed-side table and each night before going to bed write 5 positive things I did today. Such as held the door for someone, had a good hair day, ate a piece of pie but gave up the cookies later, did 10 minutes of exercise. I usually only write the bad things, so I am going to try for the good. <BR> <BR> You’re worth it all, baby! You’ll see. <BR> <BR> <em>403</em> <em>311</em> Fri, 2 Apr 2010 18:38:18 EST Can't put a bandage on everything You would have thought that I would have learned this a long time ago, but I didn't. I am learning that I am going to say and do stupid things, and I could try my best to make amends, but it is out of my control there. I have learned that some people are just not going to like me and it could be because of something I have said or done or it could just be that something about me or the situation is just not going to put a spark in others eyes when they see or hear me. <BR> <BR> But what ... Tue, 30 Mar 2010 21:09:11 EST It is going to bite me in the but(t) I know, I know I am tired, spacey and unfocused. But the worst part is knowing that I am not sticking with my goals or getting the sleep I need and it will sooner or latter bite me in the butt. <em>198</em> Mon, 29 Mar 2010 21:01:10 EST Immediately after wear size 12, the eating game began A couple of days after wearing the size 12 jeans I attend 3 birthday parties within 4 days. I didn't not eat wisely and I could see my waist was a little thicker. Fortunately after reading so many Spark blogs I did not beat myself up. Instead I caught me in mid fall. Hopefully there was not much damage. <BR> <BR> <em>9</em> Sat, 27 Mar 2010 18:53:19 EST I now wear size 12 jeans - check out these photos :) A few years ago I wore size 18-20 jeans, but I have slowly lost weight. So at the end of December 2009 I bought two new pairs of jeans, one size 14 and the other size 12. I made a promise "to myself and even posted the promise, that I was going to wear those size 12 jeans on Christmas day with a new cashmere sweater I would buy as a reward. I have lost nearly 8 inches in my waist since my December 2010 promise so over the weekend I decided to try the size 12 jeans on to see my progress. A... Wed, 24 Mar 2010 20:41:57 EST People Pleasing? Not anymore!!! I learned a very important thing about people pleasing last week. My whole life I have tried so many ways to be loved and appreciate by others. I often lost parts of who I really am so that others like me more. I suppose I learned this from my parents who lashed out and hurt us (both physically and emotionally) when they were not pleased with us. Oh course, I married the same person who reinforced the dysfunction I learned at the hands or shall I say fists of my parents. <BR> <BR> Anywa... Mon, 22 Mar 2010 20:09:35 EST Lost 5 pounds I lost 5 pounds. Not at once but it doesn't matter to me. I am just very excited to look at the scale and see that I am only 2 pounds away from my first goal. <em>516</em> Wed, 17 Mar 2010 15:55:51 EST Does two hours manual housework constitute exercise? I decided that I would get a jump on spring cleaning and scrub. I grabbed a hard brush and scrubbed floors, tile grout, walls etc. I know I worked for at least 2 hours, if not more. If I had just grabbed my Swifter Wet Jet and cleaned this would be a mute point. But because I was using so much muscle I consider it to be exercise. Great way to accomplish two goals at once. Sat, 13 Mar 2010 22:28:57 EST Tossed out the junk food. I have done well with not eating a bunch of junk lately, but this weekend, I started back. So yesterday, I tossed all of the junk that I wanted so that I was force to eat the good stuff again. Mon, 8 Mar 2010 21:00:24 EST Yesterday, I forgot to be thankful for my blessings. Yesterday kind of sucked. I don't know why. But it did. I went for a walk and got lost. All of the wilderness was different, but I couldn't seem to find the right path. So since the day already sucked I just took it as proof that the day would not get better. Now here is how I should have taken the day: <BR> Everyone I loved was doing well. <BR> I was thankful to have a lovely day to awaken to. <BR> I had people to care about me. <BR> The store allowed me to exchange to sneakers for ... Sun, 7 Mar 2010 10:14:10 EST Rice and Bean, greens and sweet potatos, yum what a good dinner. Sat, 6 Mar 2010 19:03:47 EST Why does spending on things I need bother me more than spending on others? Today I bought groceries for someone that needed them. I sent items to our troops. I bought three baby gifts for 3 separate ladies, but when it came time to buy much needed sneakers I waited several years. Even when the sneakers where falling a part I put it until today. Why is that? <BR> <BR> <em>295</em> Fri, 5 Mar 2010 22:07:20 EST Diet Dr. Pepper I seldom drink sodas but all week I have gotten a diet dr. pepper prior to breakfast and I am not getting hungry for a couple of hours later than normal. Go figure? Wed, 3 Mar 2010 21:43:24 EST You are the ones that get us out of bed... every morning we climb out of bed and wonder how we will get through another day of trying to eat right (I did say trying, because we often fell.) and exercise our more often than not pudgie bodies. You help us when we feel sad or just down right discouraged. You laugh with us when we have those good ole fashion knee slapping moments. You are there for us even when we are not there for ourselves. <BR> <BR> I am talking about all of the moderators and Sparkers that actually do their best t... Mon, 1 Mar 2010 21:49:22 EST I feel like ShopGirl in YOU GOT MAIL When I joined in August 2009, I said that I wanted to really make a change, but I let something stall me and I barely logged in for a couple of months. But when I came back I really got into the grove. Reading blogs, tracking food and fitness, aiming for point, losing weight (okay, not so good on that one) and reading the wonderful messages that others post. <BR> <BR> It is nothing like seeing a comment on something I have written, even when it seems just down right goofy. Or when I read... Sun, 28 Feb 2010 19:57:22 EST 7 sparkpoints from my next trophy I am so excited. I hate to say that I am "that girl". You know the one who counts down to her next trophy and says, just 7 more point, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, answer the trivia questions right and Wow - it is there, on the right side of my screen - the new trophy. <BR> <em>244</em> <em>306</em> <em>236</em> <em>250</em> <em>208</em> Sat, 27 Feb 2010 14:13:42 EST Cooked a nice soup. Black beans, tomatoes, kale, zucchini, onions and garlic. Boy, I am on my way to feeling good. Yippee! Fri, 26 Feb 2010 20:05:12 EST Finally stayed home from work so I could recover. I hate taking off time from work unless it is a holiday, but I did it. I have been in bed all day taking cold meds drinking soup, tea and lemonade. I will get up in a little while and walk for about 10 minutes so that I do not break the habit. After another nap, I will search sparkpeople for an article about exercising when you have a cold. Thu, 25 Feb 2010 16:52:09 EST Day - 5 fever - I did it again. Once again, I am not taking care of myself after starting an exercise program. I thought I was doing fairly well, minus not being able to sleep for 8 hours. I keep trying but I always seem to wake throughout the night whenever I start to exercise and diet. <BR> <BR> On well, I will not give up. I will take care of this illness and once again try to figure out where I am going wrong. I have been drinking lots of tea with fresh squeezed lemons, water and soup. Think I will turn in early a... Wed, 24 Feb 2010 19:09:57 EST Sore throat I have a bug and really do not feel like working out. Uggh, 4 days with minimum exercise. <em>198</em> <em>27</em> <em>219</em> Tue, 23 Feb 2010 20:22:22 EST Someone posted a blog asking, honestly why are we doing this. This was my answer... Honestly, well in that case here is the number one reason that I losing weight and toning my body. <BR> <BR> Clothing makers generally make tall clothing for ladies 5'5 - 5'7. However, I am taller so my freedom of movement is limited and therefore uncomfortable. And buying a couple of sizes larger does not guarantee extra length where I need it. So I feel like the Hulk bursting out of her clothes. <BR> <BR> When I reach my maintenance size I will invest in clothing so that I can move my a... Sun, 21 Feb 2010 14:18:16 EST Craving Sugar I am craving carbs today. Is it because I slept for 4 hours last night? Or is it because I started the day with French toast? Either way, I do not expect to see a large weightloss this week. Sun, 21 Feb 2010 00:14:50 EST The pride that comes with sore muscles. When I was younger I could pump iron and feel very very sore the next day. But lets face it I did not warm up or warm down, so oh course my muscles were so painful that I could hardly move. Then one day I hurt myself and could not lift heavy weights for years. <BR> <BR> This time when I started doing all the right things and all I felt was some soreness I considered applying more weights, but someone told me that was not the way to go. So I warming my body for 5 to 20 minutes prior to exe... Thu, 18 Feb 2010 19:46:29 EST Help -I need to post my weight for the Biggest Loser and I am avoiding it. Within the last 7 days, I have had two birthday parties and one Valentine celebration so I have either gained a pound or the fact that my ankles are so swollen is the result of too many salty foods. I know I am retaining water so if I actually post my weight it will appear that I have gained a pound but I was consuming nearly 3000 mg of sodium for several days and I just don't think I can get an accurate number. <BR> <BR> Plus I can't figure out if I am supposed to email the moderators my p... Wed, 17 Feb 2010 19:33:19 EST Weight Loss Journal - Umm! I started one last year but has not kept up, maybe it is time to do just that. Tue, 16 Feb 2010 14:24:50 EST A little planning goes a long way. I had eaten fairly well and even ate some birthday pie (yep-that is what my brother likes for his birthday). Not much mind you just a tiny piece. But after the party when I returned home I was tired and had a taste of pie still in my mouth, what I should have done was brush my teeth and go to bed. But what I did was dug in the frig and cabinets until I found some cookies and nuts. Oh well thank goodness that today is a new day. I can't make amends for the past I can only make choices for... Mon, 15 Feb 2010 10:48:21 EST I didn't walk into the grocery store and think if I don't get it all at this very minute .... .. there will be none left and I will never be able to have it. So that is how I have shopped for many years. I have looked at where I have spent my money and would you believe I could buy a car for extra food items that are in my cart every time I shop. It is like I am hoarding food. But nonetheless, I have been changing that weekly so eventually I will reach my goal to shop like I am not stocking up for a blizzard. Sun, 14 Feb 2010 02:12:15 EST I ALWAYS GET SICK WHEN I EXERCISE AND DIET - ALWAYS! Almost every time I have exercised in the past I would get sick. My doc saw nothing out of the ordinary so she gave me the go ahead. But Time after time I ALWAYS GOT SICK. <BR> <BR> But this time I wanted it to be different, so I looked at what could be creating the illnesses. Surely it was a break down of my immune system, but what could be causing this breakdown. So I used Sparkpeople's site to research what was important. <BR> <BR> 1. Lack of sufficient sleep. Caused by stress, fu... Fri, 12 Feb 2010 21:36:46 EST SNOW SOAKED BOOTS - BUT WOW, WHAT A GOOD DAY! Winter snow always does my heart good. We were released early from work so I had a block of time before heavy traffic turn my puffy white snow into brown mush. And a few hours before it was cold enough to turn the run-off water into ice. So I laced up my cheap boots and took off hoping about like a kid. Dodging cars and mountains of snow and into more than a few wet slouchy puddles. It was great! The fact that I was only spattered by one car was reason enough to celebrate. WHAT A GOOD DA... Thu, 11 Feb 2010 18:21:03 EST I need to find friends that are similar to who I am or want to become. I have very lovely friends. They are warm, caring and kind. Yet none of the friends I have made over the last few years having ANY thing in common, except that we are moral, warm, caring, kind and hard workers. <BR> <BR> We have different political views. They are mostly middle aged and married - I am middle aged and single. Some like to watch sports - not me (if I am not playing than I do not want to watch others play). Most eat far to much - okay, well we have that in common. My l... Wed, 10 Feb 2010 18:40:21 EST Baby its cold outside. On days like this, I know I need to exercise, but it is hard to motivate myself. This is actually a hot cocoa kind of day, not a hopping around, pumping iron and sweating kind of day. So, what do I do? Really, what do I do? Well, I think about how good in felt last week when I lost the three pounds and what I will look and feel like in the future. Soooooooo, I drag myself from under my toasty blanket, pick up the weights and start pumpin'. <BR> <BR> Cheers - here's to a better future. <BR... Mon, 8 Feb 2010 17:32:58 EST Weight loss, clean house and make-up go hand in hand. The moment my clothes fit better I start to shape up the life around me. My place becomes cleaner. My clothes become more girlish and I invest in quality make-up. I think I feel better about myself so I invest more time in me and my environment. <BR> <BR> <em>288</em> Sun, 7 Feb 2010 21:49:01 EST Like magic; I lost 3 pounds. Okay, lets be honest, all of the moaning and groaning didn't do a darn thing for my weight loss. So I quite the moaning and did the exercise and stopped sneaking snacks in the late night hours. A little work and 3 pounds - puff like magic. <BR> <BR> <em>345</em> <em>403</em> Sat, 6 Feb 2010 11:53:57 EST