ASHENDREAMER's SparkPeople Blog ASHENDREAMER's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Thanksgiving Week <img src=""> <BR> We had a great Thanksgivings. On Thursday we went to my in-laws, it was the first time my mom joined us there but it felt right since this was the first Thanksgiving since my dad passed away. Then on Friday I hosted for all of us and my cousin. Somehow through two Thanksgiving feasts I had the willpower to stay on plan, the scale rewarded me for that with a 1.6 pound loss. Satu... Mon, 28 Nov 2016 10:13:38 EST Wonderful internet, Weight and hello again! <img src=""> <BR> It's been...6? months since I've had reliable internet! Living in the country severely limits internet choices while raising the cost of that privilege greatly. Before moving, while I was still very active on Spark and in my groups, I felt I was doing great. Everything crumbled when we moved. I stopped having access to healthy food and depression about our situation took over. My weight bounced ... Sat, 5 Nov 2016 18:49:31 EST Binge Eating Disorder (BED) Not really up to talking about BED right now but I had an episode last night and today this showed up in my free book email. I wanted to share in case anyone else might need it. I am only on chapter one so I can't say if it is good or not but it is fairly short and free so nothing lost <em>30</em> If you don't have a Kindle there is a kindle app for the computer, Apple and most likely Android. <BR> <BR> <link><BR>manently-Overeating-ebook/dp/B014V1Q... Tue, 2 Feb 2016 14:55:53 EST Update to "Drama" My mom is seeking legal advise now through a company that helps seniors for free. I am not sure that is the best option but it is what she is going with. My stepbrother admitted his wife lied about being given the property and it seems like he realizes the extent of her crazy. Considering their past and the scams he went along with I am not convinced that he is not trying to pull another scam in order to get back in "good graces" with my mom. I guess I am just skeptical like that after seeing... Thu, 28 Jan 2016 10:05:45 EST Another rant... Sorry I am so ranty, it seems like the world is crumbling around me. We found out today that my husbands job was cut back to civilian pay. His unit is always doing this we are always on the losing end. We are losing our insurance and will be back at "needing government assistance" level. He worked so hard to get us to where we are but a bunch of people in Washington decided to pull it all away. I have to take pills to help me breastfeed Lilly and rent a pump because she doesn't nurse, that wi... Fri, 15 Jan 2016 11:41:21 EST Drama.. This is mainly for me, because I have no other outlet. I realize that keeping things in is part of what starting my binge eating because I used eating as a coping mechanism. <BR> <BR> My stepdad has been in the hospital since October. He can not speak but has somehow given power of attorney to his aunt, effectively pushing my mom out of any decision making ability. I didn't realize it was possible to just steal someone like that, like legally steal them, but that is what she has done. She c... Thu, 7 Jan 2016 12:13:09 EST 2016 Healthy Living Journal I am working on something new and it inspired me to make a quick post. <BR> <BR> Over the last week or so I have been getting my planner ready for the new year and also decided to try a new planner for 2016, a Bullet Journal. The Bullet Journal is a new concept to me but it is the "in thing" right now with the planner community and is getting rave reviews so I figured I would try it out. While setting it up I got the idea to make a Healthy Living Journal. There are tons of these on the mark... Mon, 28 Dec 2015 21:56:13 EST Finally Back Hey everyone! Long time no talk. I don't remember exactly when but at some point over the last few months I gave up. I stopped caring about my weight, what I ate, getting out of bed.. everything. I didn't realize it at the time but I was dealing with some major depression. The baby and I both paid for it... my part was with a 30 pound weight gain and hers was being born with major blood sugar issues. <BR> <BR> Lillian Rose was born on October 22nd at 7pm. She spent 6 days in the NICU and ha... Fri, 6 Nov 2015 19:57:18 EST Life changes I have posted about this on a couple of my teams but wanted to post here also. I found out the night that my husband left for school that I am, very unexpectedly, pregnant with our 3rd baby. <BR> <BR> We had wanted to wait a few years before talking about another child since our family of four was working really well and seemed "right" for us. I guess the universe had other plans though lol. When we were dating and talking about kids the plan was "3 with an option of a 4th if we didn't hav... Wed, 4 Mar 2015 12:54:27 EST Regrets.. This is going to be quick and dirty. I gave in to one of my inner voices (not the skinny girl screaming at me to put the fork down but the fat one, the one that likes a good sugar rush) and had cake at my sons party yesterday. I regretted it almost instantly and regret it even more today.. bloating, a headache from Hades and a general ick feeling. Almost like the flu. Sugar is not my friend. Back to the plan today, hoping I don't end up with "keto flu" again and feeling like this even longer... Sun, 1 Feb 2015 19:12:08 EST Hunger I am trying really hard to figure out hunger and to tune into what my body is telling me. It sounds silly, I know.. I have spent 11+ years eating for other reasons though. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <BR> I am working hard on it today. I woke up and was hungry, but not too hungry, so I waited about an hour until my stomach started growling a bit. That seemed to work out well. I was in control of portions and not scrambling for t... Wed, 21 Jan 2015 14:54:01 EST Christmas dinner menu, help please This is our first time hosting a holiday and I am not sure if I have planned enough or maybe I forgot some traditional thing. I am hoping you guys can help me out! <BR> <BR> Our menu- <BR> whiskey honey ham <BR> ribs <BR> sweet potato casserole (mother is making) <BR> cheesy potato casserole (MIL is making) <BR> baked beans (mother is making) <BR> rolls <BR> Chinese slaw (cold salad) <BR> green beans with balsamic browned butter and almonds <BR> olive and cheese platter <BR> deviled eggs <... Sun, 14 Dec 2014 14:55:58 EST WIO Spy 7 pic Not a very good pic but here is my girly with spy 7! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> Sat, 25 Oct 2014 10:57:57 EST Changes I have noticed a lot of changes in my eating habits over the last week. I don't know if they were sudden or gradual but I feel like I am finally eating like a "normal" person and not a binge eater/food addict. <BR> <BR> A typical day before seemed like constant eating. I was never hungry but never felt satisfied or full. I measured everything and kept it all low carb but it was a battle to stay under the high end of my calorie range and sometimes I would make myself go to bed early because ... Mon, 20 Oct 2014 14:19:30 EST Minecraft...? Not a blog but I figured this was the easiest way to ask all the teams I am in without making 20 some-odd posts. Does anyone here play Minecraft? I was hoping to find a team for it but there isn't one. It is my new obsession <em>2</em> Sat, 18 Oct 2014 23:38:18 EST Shopping for swim wear in October I have not worn a swimsuit since I was 16. Yep, 12 years of avoiding that monster. Since my oldest son turned 2 (he will be 4 in January) my mother in law has been bugging me to let him go to the water park. There were two problems with this.. I won't let him go without me, I honestly don't trust anyone other then myself to keep a close eye on him and I won't go because I wouldn't be caught dead in anything other then jeans and tee shirt. Just to clear up that first statement a bit so no one ... Wed, 15 Oct 2014 13:53:55 EST A tip for handling "cheat" days Before I decided to give up sugar I had a fairly detailed cheating system lol. <BR> <BR> I could have a cheat snack once a week <BR> <BR> OR <BR> <BR> A cheat meal once every two weeks <BR> <BR> OR <BR> <BR> A cheat day once a month <BR> <BR> I couldn't have a cheat snack then a cheat meal 2 weeks later. The choice of which "prize" I wanted had to be made at the first of the month. <BR> <BR> Cheat snacks or meals could be whenever as long as they fit into their correct time time t... Thu, 9 Oct 2014 18:45:50 EST I need blinders! Like a horse... Every where I look it is sweets sweets sweets. Sweets as far as the eye can see, I think I could literally jump into them and swim around like Scrooge McDuck in his money pit! <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> LOL It isn't really that bad but there are way to many sweets in my house right now. I love, LOVE, this time of year. Everything from October 1st to February 26th is my favorite, except for the idea that we need to be consuming sugar by ... Tue, 7 Oct 2014 10:20:39 EST Ebola- Yep, I am going there. Seriously though, it's cold and flu season.. I don't think in the US we have much to worry about when it comes to Ebola but it is better to be safe then sorry. Plus, when being safe is a healthy and easy thing to do why not just do it? Even if Ebola is not on your radar these two nutrients can help prevent or shorten the flu and common colds. <BR> <BR> Two things that might protect us from ebola are selenium and vitamin c. <BR> <BR> Selenium is a strong antioxidant and anti-inflammatory. The best food source of selenium is brazil nu... Mon, 6 Oct 2014 08:34:56 EST Canned Salmon, the thing of my nightmares This blog is fairly stupid but I just wanted to toss it out there and see if anyone else is afraid of canned salmon lol. <BR> <BR> I tried, again.. for the fourth time. I want to like canned salmon, I really do. It is a great source of protein and fish has all that good fat but I can't do it. Every time I work up the nerve to open a can of salmon the first thing I see is that little round bone on the top and I know there are many many more waiting in that pink meat. So, what do I do? I spen... Tue, 30 Sep 2014 14:07:32 EST Ugh... I had been cigarette free for three days. My husband called me from work and says our day just got interesting. <BR> <BR> A detective from the police department called him and wanted my number. Apparently a guy I dated years ago is being accused of child abuse and the detective wants to ask me questions because I was with him during the time. <BR> <BR> My husband didn't tell me the detective was an actual cop so I was thinking a private detective possibly hired by the guys ex wife. I pictur... Thu, 25 Sep 2014 12:47:19 EST Weigh in Wednesday and Day 2 of the diet that shall not be named Today is WiW! -2.6 down, not bad <em>41</em> 14 total this month <BR> <BR> Today is day 2 of the diet that shall not be named. I wrote a blog about it last night but decided not to post it, I enjoy it and it makes me feel amazing (plus it works wonders) but I am really afraid of being judged lol. I don't think I would be considering the majority of my teams now are low carb and I know at least 2 of them have discussed it and a couple of people in my other team have mentioned it.. I don't... Wed, 24 Sep 2014 12:13:12 EST TMI Post.. TOM and overeating So, my littlest little one will be 7 months old in 2 day and we stopped breastfeeding about 5 weeks ago and the lovely TOM (time of the month) showed up this morning. I knew it was bound to happen sometime soon but if it could have waited until after weigh in (Wednesday) that would have been awesome. <BR> <BR> I could not stop eating yesterday. I figured it was some kind of rebound effect from being lower in calories on Sunday, but my hunger was out of control and I ate around 1,500 calori... Tue, 23 Sep 2014 08:01:37 EST Excess Skin.. somewhat of an obsession My name is Sunni and I am addicted to looking at pictures of people's excess skin after weight loss. <BR> <BR> LOL I can't help but laugh at myself for that. But seriously, it is somewhat of a new obsession. I read about it, how to avoid it, how to fix it and look at pictures of it. <BR> <BR> I LOVE reading about people's weight loss. I feel so motivated and happy reading about their success and looking at their pictures thinking "with hard work and time I will look like that!". Then it h... Sat, 20 Sep 2014 14:15:33 EST Smoking.. enough is enough Smoking.. for me it is a love hate relationship. <BR> <BR> I have been smoking a pack a day since I was 18, that is around 10.5 years of smoking. <BR> <BR> 20 cigarettes a day <BR> 600 cigarettes a month <BR> 365 packs a year <BR> 7,300 cigarettes a year <BR> 76,650 cigarettes in 10.5 years <BR> Around $19,000 spent over the last ten years <BR> <BR> Damn <BR> <BR> When I was 18 I started cosmetology school at a votech. Most of the other students were in high school, there were 3 other ... Thu, 18 Sep 2014 14:01:53 EST BLC26 Expectations For the Week One Challenge on BLC26 one of the options is blog about expectations for the BLC. I generally keep my expectations low but I am going to try to raise the bar this time. <BR> <BR> I expect to make some new Spark friends, judging by the posts in the group so far this shouldn't be hard to accomplish. <BR> <BR> I expect to have fun and be challenged at the same time. I have always enjoyed the BLC challenges. A couple I remember are bingo and a star race. I don't know why but thos... Thu, 18 Sep 2014 08:14:08 EST Weight loss, challenges and the last trip to the fair I will start with my story about yesterdays trip to the fair, it was good and bad and I want to end the blog with all good stuff! I will try to keep the bad language to a minimum but if you get offended by that sort of thing skip down to CHALLENGES. <BR> <BR> We got to the fair at 11:30 and I was so excited to spend the day with my husband riding rides and browsing the shops. We got something to eat first (my cheat for the day, plenty of time to walk it off) and then browsed some booths befo... Wed, 17 Sep 2014 14:24:16 EST Update on calls to the Dr. and Diabetic Educator I called the diabetic educator I had while I was pregnant. I explained my numbers and symptoms and asked if there was any way I could make arrangements to pay her over the course of a few weeks but see her asap. She can't do payments and wouldn't answer any specific questions over the phone. She basically just told me to do the plan she gave me when I was pregnant. Not really helpful since replacing all the meat and eggs she had me on the first time is basically a new plan which is why I wan... Mon, 15 Sep 2014 14:41:58 EST My plan isn't working I became a vegan in April and started a high carb low fat (80/10/10 style) vegan program about 3 weeks ago. Over the last few days my vision has been off.. not really blurry but just not as clear as normal. I decided to go to the eye doctor but the soonest I could get in was next Friday, I was fine with dealing with it until it. <BR> <BR> Fast forward to yesterday, I got 8 hours of sleep but woke up exhausted. By 10am I was taking a nap. Then today was the same thing. I slept great last nig... Sun, 14 Sep 2014 20:38:37 EST Shove it on a stick I'm up early, ready to workout as soon as DH leaves for work. It's State Fair week here in Oklahoma. I wont even mention some of the food they are talking about on the news that are new at the fair this year. Even my fat girl brain is saying something aint right with some of these "foods". My husband will be first in line though, if you shove it on a stick and fry it he will eat it. <BR> <BR> I am trying to come up with a strategy for tackling the fair this year. Because of the extra walking... Thu, 11 Sep 2014 07:16:54 EST Ready for Fall I have always looked forward to everything Pumpkin Spice that comes out in the Fall. <BR> <BR> My favorite? Starbucks Pumpkin Spice latte. Then I saw this... <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> That is nasty. <BR> <BR> So I came up with this.. <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> It is simply frozen bananas, pumpkin, pumpkin pie spice, coconut milk and coconut sugar. All natural, organic, vegan... Thu, 4 Sep 2014 17:20:58 EST I lost 19 pounds and all I did was have a baby! Grayson was born on 2/25 at 11:04 pm. He was 9lbs 12oz and 23 inches long. He is 3 weeks old today and around 10 pounds. He is gaining slowly due to supply issues but we are taking it one day at a time. He is a great baby, nurses well, doesn't fuss a lot and sleeps great. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <img src=""> <img src=""> <BR> <BR... Tue, 18 Mar 2014 17:52:58 EST Wow, it has been forever. I have not been on Spark in forever. While living at my parents I got very off track and then we moved. We have been in our new rent house for two weeks now but it looks like we just moved yesterday. <BR> <BR> Trying to deal with a toddler (newly 3 as of Jan 31st!) and being 36 weeks pregnant while trying to unpack and settle in is not working out very well. I am always short of breath, sleep and patience. I think the baby would have been here already if I where not on progesterone. Zander ... Mon, 3 Feb 2014 08:43:16 EST 20 weeks! It has been about 6 weeks since I wrote a blog post! So.. we had the private gender scan, twice. The first time baby would not turn around, all we saw was the back lol. The second time it took less then 10 seconds to see and I was actually the first to say "it's a boy" so that was kind of cool. We had our anatomy scan a few days ago and everything looked great, though we have to go back on November 1st and take another look at the heart because he was not positioned well at the first scan. Th... Sun, 13 Oct 2013 12:17:56 EST Almost 15 week update.. I went in for my appointment yesterday with my midwife. It was so so. I gained 2 pounds and even though most of my blood sugar numbers are good my fasting numbers are horrible. I asked about taking cinnamon but she said it wasn't safe for pregnant women. We decided I would try walking for 15-30 minutes each night sometime after my evening snack and seeing if that made any difference. <BR> <BR> On a better note we found out my ultrasound had been scheduled for 10/11, they will be looking at ... Sat, 7 Sep 2013 20:07:47 EST Answers: No insulin! (yet) I called my midwife on Friday and discussed insulin with her and told her all my numbers from the week, she agreed with me that diet is working for now and sent an email to the educator/nutritionist on my behalf. I went in today and talked with the educator and she was amazed at how well I was doing. She said based on my weight and the number I got on my one hour test she had brought up insulin under the assumption that I could not handle a diet change. I have watched every bite of food I hav... Mon, 26 Aug 2013 17:08:52 EST Reflections on my meeting with the diabetic educator/nutritionist. I have been thinking about this all day and the more I think about it the less it makes since. I saw my diabetes educator today for the first time.. she reviewed my numbers from the week and said she wanted to see me in another week. When I go back we will go over my numbers and talk about insulin. Wait! What? My numbers have been amazing! According to the paper she gave me my numbers should be under 120 after meals.. I have not had a single reading over 108. Why would we be talking about ins... Tue, 20 Aug 2013 21:44:14 EST Bad news comes fast I had my glucose test on Monday and yesterday got the call that I failed. I did not get an actual number but it must have been pretty high because we are skipping the 3 hour test. Because I am so early in the pregnancy they are classifying it as type 2 diabetes and not gestational. I am really upset and scared, not just for the pregnancy and what diabetes can mean for the baby but also for the future. I know I will do whatever I have to keep the baby safe and healthy so the next 7 months are ... Wed, 14 Aug 2013 13:35:43 EST Pregnancy week 10, ultrasound pic and diabetes talk I had my first appointment with the midwife yesterday. She was great, no nonsense but very nice. We discussed the gestational diabetes likelihood due to my first pregnancy, weight and family history. If I end up with it again (high chance) we will have to work with an OB and if it gets out of control like last time I will be released from her care and given to the OB. I really don't want that. I have started eating low carb again and will be having an early glucose test on Monday when I go fo... Fri, 9 Aug 2013 11:20:05 EST Where have I been? And a BIG announcement! Sorry for being gone for so long Spark friends! I know I just disappeared and left a couple of teams hanging. I am very very sorry for that! My family and I love with my mom right now and she decided to cut of the cable and internet to save money. I could not really say anything about it since I was not working so I just had to deal with it. I am working full time now and offered to pay half so I am back! Unfortunately I gained about 13 pounds while away <em>15</em> . <BR> <BR> And now t... Tue, 23 Jul 2013 10:56:36 EST Alpha Centauri For this challenge I have to write a blog about my progress so far. <BR> I know I am getting stronger, I can feel it. I know I am losing at least a few inches, my pants are baggy and my double chin has disappeared. Overall I am happy with my progress but the number on the scale is always waiting in the shadows ready to knock my self esteem back a peg or two. <BR> <BR> Overall I am happy with my progress though. Tue, 12 Feb 2013 21:17:41 EST Sorry.. and Thank you! So, I have been on Spark off and on for a few years and just now figured out how to view the notes people send with the goodies. I went through them all and read the sweet, funny, supportive and inspirational notes you all left and I am so touched! Thank you to everyone that has sent one and I am so sorry I did not figure out how to get to them sooner! Sat, 9 Feb 2013 23:44:39 EST Random... Did everyone besides me know that The Biggest Loser contestants only ate around 1,200 calories a day while burning over 6,000? Out of curiosity I goggled it and everything I read said the same thing, 1200. I read a few other things revealed by previous contestants but I really hope they are not true so I won't be posting them. <BR> <BR> I am a little sad that the trainers, nutritionist and doctors would allow them to do that. I would imagine it is all for ratings, who would want to watch pe... Mon, 4 Feb 2013 20:42:27 EST Making due I try to fit in exercise whenever I can. I need to build up endurance but life happens, having a toddler happens, spending most of my time in travel trailer with no floor space happens. So for now I am making due. <BR> <BR> I ride an exercise bike 3+ times a week (speaking of which why is there no ifit training on Sparks fitness?) and try to get in 3+ days of walking but to get in a little sumthin extra I have had to think outside the box (haha, get the pun?). Walking takes place outside an... Tue, 29 Jan 2013 09:17:30 EST BLC21 Challenge, Letter to my 16 year old self Sunni, <BR> Be happy! Things are not as bad as you think they are. Stop with the diets and do what you know is right. All the gimiks will get you no where. Stop listening to what others say and live life the way you want! You will not grow out of your love for body art, crazy hair and funky clothes... rock it for as long as you can. Start swimming again! You are an excellent swimmer and it is not to late to go back. Learn to love yourself before falling for any guy, no matter how hard you ... Fri, 25 Jan 2013 21:43:04 EST I did it! <BR> Today marks the 14th day since I have had even the slightest craving for sugar! I had a huge sugar addiction, HUGE! Doughnuts? Pft.. I could have eaten a dozen a day and still want a snickers before bed. When I was pregnant with my son I had gestational diabetes and ended up having to give myself 3 shots a day just to keep my numbers in check, even then I saw it as a pass to have a piece of cake. The insulin did its job so what was the harm? I was bad! <BR> <BR> I wish I could say I h... Mon, 21 Jan 2013 18:49:40 EST Almost Wednesday Pick Me Ups (pics) A friend posted these on her facebook page and I thought you all might enjoy too :) <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> Tue, 8 Jan 2013 18:19:41 EST A little discouraged, oddly still motivated Yesterday I did my first "long" walk since both injuries have healed. I decided to do 1.5 miles to start out with (mistake 1) and I choose a new track (mistake 2) and it ended up having 3 huge inclines, great for the muscles and heart but horrible for my knee. The first wasn't so bad but by the time I was half way down the second I could feel my knee acting up and by the end of the track I was limping <em>28</em> . <BR> <BR> I am not sure if I should walk through the pain or give it tim... Mon, 7 Jan 2013 12:07:59 EST Awesome day! Today has been such a great day! I woke up pain free from both my knee and foot which was really surprising since last night both where throbbing. I've decided to give them both another week of rest before starting a new walking program. I had been doing a C25K program but I guess it was a bit to much. <BR> <BR> After a great breakfast with my son I decided to go spend some of the Christmas gift cards that have been burning a hole in my pocket lol. We went to Layne Bryant armed with lots of... Sat, 29 Dec 2012 18:23:18 EST I need your help! I would love some ideas/tips on non-impact areobic exercise. I went to the doctor this morning and he thinks I have a stress fracture in my right foot and overextended the left knee (I don't have insurance so I opted to not have x-rays). He said to take it very easy for at least 2 weeks and if the pain was at a 2 or below I could then resume exercise slowly. I don't want to sit on my butt for the next 2 weeks though and would love to do at least a little something every day to get my heart ra... Wed, 19 Dec 2012 11:17:20 EST