ARIELLA_'s SparkPeople Blog

A Week of Bingeing

Sat, 16 Feb 2013 23:51:00 EST

Guys...oh man. This entire week was awful, and it culminated in my worst day yet.

SO MANY CARBS. SO MUCH FOOD. AND I'M NOT EVEN HUNGRY.

This upcoming week is going to be hugely stressful, and as if in preparation...I ate my little heart out. Good gracious, just thinking about it all makes me sick.

In addition, it was also that lovely time of the month for females - who knows how that affected me?

Regardless, I know I did some major damage to mysel...

PROJECT FF: Week 5

Mon, 11 Feb 2013 17:38:51 EST

Project Freshman 15 hit a bit of a snag this week. I don't know WHAT is going on, but boy did I just go wild. My official weight yesterday was 121.4 lbs - .2 less than the week before, but essentially no change.

Don't get me wrong - I'm glad I didn't exactly gain back the weight I lost. But I am frustrated that I had so many binge days. That binge-and-purge cycle is awful, and I don't want to get back into that.

This week didn't start out on a good note in terms of eatin...

A Slight Hiccup

Wed, 6 Feb 2013 22:22:49 EST

Oh...the struggle is back. And I was doing so well!

It's the stress. I know it is. I'm hiding it well, but it's coming out in my eating habits.

I'm doing plenty of exercise, which is why I don't think these "mistakes" are going to hurt me - but I'm getting so close to my weight and fitness goal!

Come on, Ariel! Push through!!

PROJECT FF: Week 4

Tue, 5 Feb 2013 19:14:30 EST

Down about a pound this week, more or less. "Official" weigh-in on Sunday was 121.6.

I've been doing a good job of going to the gym nearly every day, but I'm feeling the familiar struggles with sweets again. All I ate on Sunday was essentially desserts, and now I'm starting to be more lax with my sugar cravings again.

"Oh, just a taste of this won't hurt..." but when it's just a taste of a lot of different things, THAT is where a problem starts.

I think I'm g...

PROJECT FF: Week 3

Tue, 29 Jan 2013 19:24:04 EST

Little late on the update, but I weighed in on Sunday...and I'm looking at 122.8 lbs on the scale. Not too shabby!

Things are starting to pick up in class, I just started working last week, and plus...I've met a boy. :o :o So now, even though I'm busy, I really want to make sure I keep this weight loss (and subsequent health benefits) going!

I DID give in today at dinner and had a yummy piece of cheesecake, strawberries, and some walnuts. However, my actual dinner wasn't...

PROJECT FF: Week 2

Wed, 23 Jan 2013 17:33:29 EST

Week 2 was a success...my official weigh-in on Sunday was 123.8 pounds, which is great! I'm getting back to where I was towards the beginning of last semester.

I DID have a hiccup Sunday night. I consumed A LOT more calories than I had in awhile. On the bright side, I did manage to cut back the next day, and yesterday I worked out for the first time in a few days (when I went home for the weekend, I barely did anything!).

Anyhow, I may have messed up my weight due to tha...

PROJECT FF: Week 1

Mon, 14 Jan 2013 00:48:39 EST

Project Freshman Fifteen is off to a great start. I'm not certain (I used a different scale than usual, just to get a rough estimate), but I think I lost 2 pounds this week! Wow.

It was a week of mostly cardio. I went to the gym Monday - Saturday and burned around 500 calories a day, give or take. I coupled this with lower calorie intake (i.e. actually measuring out my portions and not mindlessly snacking).

But what's the best part? The fact that I can and DID resist de...

PROJECT: Freshman 15

Tue, 8 Jan 2013 11:36:05 EST

So last semester...all in all, I gained the Freshman 15.

This semester, I've resolved to lose it! :)

I've started off on a great note, and I plan to continue. This week is my time to try out different classes at our recreation center as well as look into creating my own routine. I want my muscles back, but I know it will be difficult since I don't have tennis anymore. ):

Sunday and Monday were fantastic in terms of controlling my eating...and yesterday night,...

1 Week Back Home

Tue, 18 Dec 2012 15:28:58 EST

...and it appears I lost about 1 pound. I did stumble this weekend, but even these slip-ups don't compare to the damage I did while at school.

Still trying to hold myself accountable and really watch what I'm eating - and why. Trying to make sure I eat only when I'm hungry, and not because I'm sad or bored.

I'm playing tennis after school with my old high school team and visiting a local YMCA with my parents. I went running yesterday for the first time in awhile (oh boy,...

Semester 1 - Over and Done!

Sun, 9 Dec 2012 21:40:29 EST

Hi all!

I am officially done with my first semester of college! I took my last final (Econ) yesterday morning...and then I was free!! :)

On the bright side, I have a month of winter break to spend at home with my family and friends. The stress of school is minimal (though I will do some light studying). AND I finally have time to relax.

On the down side, I must now own up to the weight gain of the semester. I'm so disappointed, especially because I actually ga...

Week 1 Evaluation - Day 7/14

Sun, 2 Dec 2012 03:03:03 EST

I made it through my first "week of focus"...and it did not go as I hoped. ):

Definitely, definitely lost my focus.

I see more clearly than ever that my eating behaviors are a consequence of emotional stress. Sure, having food around me all the time doesn't help. But before classes started, food was everywhere...but I resisted the mindless eating because I was so focused on fighting the dreaded weight gain.

Then I got homesick, school got hard, I lost more s...

Days 5 & 6/14

Sat, 1 Dec 2012 01:55:45 EST

I feel myself getting off track, and it's terrible! Today was the worst...SO many desserts, it's kind of ridiculous.

Whaaat am I dooooing?

Even more depressing is the fact that for the next 4 days or so, things are going to be bad. Tomorrow I'm getting fro-yo with my New Student Representative group, Sunday is the Masters'/RAs' study break, Monday is the Associates study break, Tuesday is a volunteer fair study break...it seems like there are going to be more study bre...

"Free time" In the Dorm

Thu, 29 Nov 2012 21:41:36 EST

I should be studying...but I'd rather say hello! :)

Day 4/14

Thu, 29 Nov 2012 02:09:34 EST

Better day in terms of tracking what I ate and getting a good workout in! I felt really great after a 50 minute or so gym session.

I did indulge in dessert again at dinner...so frustrating! I technically had enough room, because I had cut back on calories throughout the day, but I know the carb count was high. ):

Again, it doesn't do me any good to feel guilty, and excuses won't help. I'm aware of my struggles, and I know ways to combat them. I just have to want it bad e...

Day 3/14

Wed, 28 Nov 2012 00:33:26 EST

I wasn't planning on it...but it seems like today is going down as one of my 2 essentially "freebie" days.

I did well up until dinner, and then I had apple pie and ice cream and kind of crumbled from there. On the whole, I really didn't eat too many bad things...but that dessert, plus some apple cider, a cookie, and a candy cane granola bar (the latter 3 all eaten after 10 PM at my residential college's council meeting) definitely set me over the edge in terms of both carbs and ca...

Day 2/14

Tue, 27 Nov 2012 00:28:18 EST

Today was the first full day back at the dorms. Kind of rough...I was so tired after having such a nice break! Not to mention temptations galore.

I'm happy to say I did a pretty good job resisting. I did have ice cream with my RAs, but I resisted my typical bowl(s) of granola, morning bagel, and the likes.

I did a decent job budgeting my calories, and I worked out twice. In the morning, I did 35 minutes of cardio on the elliptical, and in the afternoon I did some light ...

"You look good!" - 2 Weeks of Focus (Day 1/14)

Mon, 26 Nov 2012 00:49:21 EST

I ran into a former Academic Decathlon coach today in this huge rest station, of all places. She was headed back to San Antonio, and I was on my way to Rice...what a lovely coincidence! It was great seeing her - I got a hug, and she told me that I looked good. She looks fantastic as well, and it seems like she is really enjoying her retirement. Happy times! :)

Today I came back to Rice University after a much-needed Thanksgiving break. I ate a lot (of course), but I was also more c...

"Happy Thanksgiving to my favorite Owl."

Sat, 17 Nov 2012 23:51:23 EST

Aww. I need to be thankful for the wonderful support system I have. Between my family, friends, former teachers, RAs...I truly am lucky.

Just a small update tonight as I consider the past few days...

I went to the gym yesterday, for the first time in nearly a week. I burned 1000+ calories (double workout), but it was our "College Day" and I ended up consuming much more than that. Hopefully it balanced out.

Today was sort of the same scenario. I went to the gym...

Okay, Go

Wed, 14 Nov 2012 19:39:30 EST

Ahhhh, here we go again.

I've been way gloomy this week. So stressed, and really without much reason. I had a Spanish project due earlier, an Econ test in about 20 minutes, a Spanish test tomorrow, and a presentation tomorrow evening.

Sure, it's crunch time - but not enough to merit the blatant disrespect I continue to show myself. I have not worked out since Saturday, and I continue to eat so many carbs that it's kind of ridiculous.

I don't want to cut mysel...

Behaving Like the Business Cycle

Mon, 12 Nov 2012 00:37:15 EST

Peaks and troughs, up and downs...goodness! I had a great Saturday morning run. I did 3 miles of interval training and it felt amazing.

Aaand then today rolled around. Started out fine...and then I had a bagel, and that thing sure did set me off! I did alright during dinner, but then I had way too much sweet potato AND a little piece of pumpkin pie. Then chips, dip, cupcake, animal crackers, etc. in my RA's room while we watched The Walking Dead.

It all tasted good, but...

21 Days to Break a Habit?

Fri, 9 Nov 2012 21:55:55 EST

I skyped with my parents the other night, and that is what my mom told me. More about that later.

First, some observations! Sometimes during mealtimes, I'll watch how thin people eat. There's a variety of behaviors I've noticed, and I want to write them down so I remember.

- Some people are really health-oriented. There's one girl I see eating salads and lean deli turkey at lunch, and often at dinner. Lots of veggies, too - and she eats pretty slowly.

- Anothe...

Searching for Happiness

Thu, 1 Nov 2012 23:11:46 EST

Thanks for all your wonderful comments and messages. I've missed the feeling of a community. :)

10/30/2012:
- Don't particularly remember what happened on this day. Fairly average, I think?

10/31/12:
- Pretty bad on the whole. So...much...sugar... :( :(

11/1/2012:
- Negative: Went overboard at dinner...AGAIN. Not as bad as usual, but still more than necessary. It's the same old story. Truly, I have an addiction.
- Positive: I made generally...

"Keep on loving what is true..."

Tue, 30 Oct 2012 01:16:37 EST

"...and the world will come to you."
- Michael Buble, 'Hollywood'

10/28/2012
- Negative: Ate way too many desserts. Ice cream for lunch, cookies in my RA's room...
- Positive: Went to work out and burned a lot of calories at the gym!

10/29/2012:
* Goal - Drink water before/during each meal.
- Negative: Again, too many sweets. But this time it was limited to dinner.
- Positive: Accomplished my goal of drinking more water. Also had a more acti...

"You're the best around!"

Sun, 28 Oct 2012 01:50:23 EST

"Nothing's gonna ever keep you down."

I went back home Thursday night for early voting in San Antonio.

On the bright side, I had a great time being with my family, visiting old teachers, and catching up with friends.

But on the not-so-bright side...I devolved into a mess of emotional eating. It's so frustrating and sad!

It was so tough to get on the bus and return to Rice. I can't see myself at any other university...but man, it is rough. The acade...

"I know every mile, will be worth my while..."

Wed, 24 Oct 2012 13:48:46 EST

One step at a time, right?

My week is going well so far! I've been having salads for lunch, and I'm resisting the usual sugary desserts at dinner.

I feel as if I'm starting to regain control of not only my eating habits, but also my life.

I gave in at lunch today and had a few slices of banana with granola and a spoonful of whipped cream as my "dessert". It was more carbs than I wanted, but definitely a better choice than the tres leches cake I could have ea...

"You have to believe before you can achieve."

Sun, 21 Oct 2012 00:25:49 EST

Today, my body showed me just how badly I've been treating it. My head was pounding, I felt lethargic and sick to my stomach, and was generally an emotional wreck.

This comes after a week of binge eating, with yesterday being the peak.

Well, my body has had enough - and so have I. I'm so sorry, my poor body...thank you for the wake up call.

I'm a good person. I'm an athlete. I'm at a great college. I have a loving family. I have caring friends. I'm intelligent...

"My Little Owl!" [Revival!]

Wed, 30 May 2012 13:01:36 EST

Quote comes from my Stats teacher. He signed my yearbook yesterday...and let's just say that he and all of my other teachers are so thrilled that I'll be attending Rice University this fall. :)

Anyways, hello! Yes, I am still here! I have not blogged in awhile, but I've been attempting to track my food from my phone. I can't lie - I have not been so hot lately. With all the traveling, banquets, graduation parties, and the likes - on top of not playing tennis or working out consist...

"I really admire you!" [Days 14-16]

Mon, 23 Apr 2012 19:14:36 EST

A girl in my AP Government class stopped me in the hall on Friday to tell me how much she admires the strong, independent, empowered girls she knows - and she considers me one of them. It was such a lovely, unexpected compliment, and I can't even begin to describe how amazing it made me feel. I'm so glad that is the image I perpetuate; I want to be remembered like that.

Anyways! Time for the daily musings.

Day 14 -
Started off on a good note, but as the day progres...

[Days 12 & 13]

Sat, 21 Apr 2012 03:37:02 EST

Just a brief update tonight/this morning, as it is past 2 AM as I write this. I think the looming college decision I must make is making me anxious, but I'm trying to take it in stride. My choices are down to Rice University, Southern Methodist University, and Arizona State University. Ohh, I don't want to think anymore!

That aside...!

Day 12 -
Generally good day. I had time to take a core class and a body combat class at the YMCA. Both were vastly different than m...

"You know it only gets better..." [Days 6-11]

Wed, 18 Apr 2012 23:50:45 EST

"Life’s already been hard enough
Without you giving up on yourself.
When you’re down at the bottom
You know it only gets better."
- Patrick Stump, "Coast"

The weekend went something like this:

Relax, eat, and NOT work out.

Monday and Tuesday were like this:

Plane rides, lots o' snacks/meals, college tour, and NOT workout.

And finally, finally...today was more like this:

School, eat, AND workout.

...

"I'll be there someday, if I can be strong." [Day 2-5]

Thu, 12 Apr 2012 23:28:56 EST

"I Can Go The Distance" from Disney's "Hercules". Love that song.

Things have been better, at least somewhat. I'm trying to get myself back into a groove. Baby steps.

Day 2 -
It was difficult to stay on task, since I traveled up to SMU for a college visit. They insisted on feeding us multiple times throughout the day. I did alright on the whole, but did have a few splurges on the sweets that I felt guilty about - especially since my flight got me home too late to wo...

"This is the day your life will surely change..." [Day 1]

Mon, 9 Apr 2012 00:42:28 EST

Ariel. Look at what you've done. Within the past week and a half, you threw away months of hard work. And for what reason?

Because you were sad? Because you were tired? Because you were focusing on everyone and everything EXCEPT yourself?

Stop it. Right now.

This is where you're at - where you decided to put yourself because you couldn't control your emotions. Well guess what?

You're going to chill the heck out, first of all. Then you're going to ...