ANOUK101's SparkPeople Blog ANOUK101's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community It works! Turns out hard work does pay off. <BR> <BR> I am down almost 4lbs since Sunday, just by continuing to eat under my calorie goal and working out whenever I can. My daughter is home from preschool all week due to Spring break (on top of last week, when she was sick) and my baby is sick now, so the gym is not an option and probably won't be for a few days. But I've been taking the kids out to playgrounds, baby wearing my son and pushing my daughter in the stroller. Yesterday I clogged in 14000 ... Tue, 31 Mar 2015 11:06:05 EST Oh scale. Why are you so cruel? I have followed my new eating plan, cut out sugar, cut down on carbs, stayed in my calorie goals, worked out 4-5 times a week for a couple of weeks now and noticed how my clothes fit better, I felt smaller. <BR> But I didn't have a scale to confirm my weight-loss because my old scale was broken. <BR> So I finally bought a new scale. I bought it because it said on Amazon that it was the most accurate scale. I weighed my daughter on it and my son and it does seem pretty accurate. <BR> Well, t... Sat, 28 Mar 2015 13:18:11 EST First week, done Four times I made it to the gym last week, one of the non-gym days I went on a 3 mile walk. I'm pretty proud of myself. I also tracked my food every day since last Wednesday and stayed under my calorie goal. <BR> I'm still trying to figure things out. I've mentioned before, I'm still nursing my 7 months old and my supply is low as it is but I've noticed that some days it ended up really low, due to me reducing my calories. Part of me thinks my body just has to get used to it. I'm trying to st... Mon, 23 Mar 2015 15:30:45 EST The Hunger Fix Things are looking up! It's Spring and I finally had enough of only fitting into one pair of jeans. <BR> <BR> I've also finally decided to confront my food addiction. I completely lost control over my eating the last few months and it's made me depressed. I felt very helpless. So I decided to take back control and not only start eating better and work out but also work through the reason for my weight issues - my food addiction. <BR> I looked up books on food addiction and decided to give ... Thu, 19 Mar 2015 10:45:01 EST A year, three months since I last blogged A year, three months and 12 days to be exact. <BR> <BR> Last time I posted, I was depressed because I wanted to be pregnant. Well, guess what, a month later I was pregnant. And on 8/8/14 I had my son, my second child. <BR> <BR> He is now a pretty awesome 5 month old. I'll say it right now - I gained almost 60lbs during my pregnancy. That's bad because I was already obese but it's also good because I gained 90lbs with my first pregnancy so this was a bit better. I tried hard to not gain so ... Mon, 19 Jan 2015 20:42:52 EST Measures You haven't heard from me in a while because I've been in a bad place in my eating and feelings in the last few weeks. <BR> <BR> I haven't been feeling well in general. I just feel kind of off. I am a little bit depressed and have been for a while. I am not sure why - it feels like a seasonal depression - something I am dealing with a lot in the winter but it's been going on for longer than that. It's not so bad that I don't want to leave my bed and can't function or anything. It's not bad e... Mon, 7 Oct 2013 15:29:25 EST Small victories So ... I am back. I am finally feeling better and back in control. It was hard this time but I know my mind is in the right place now and this means so much to me. For years I went through that circle of losing weight, staying that weight for a while and then losing my focus and gaining all the weight back. <BR> <BR> This time I lost more than I have ever before and while I really want to lose even more weight and finally get to a healthy weight, I do feel like the biggest challenge is to no... Thu, 12 Sep 2013 10:01:00 EST Shifting the focus These last few months have been a bit of a blur. Don't get me wrong. It was a lovely summer - mostly because for the first time since I was, maybe 12 years old, I wasn't afraid to wear a bathing suit in public, which meant lots of swimming and beach time for me and my daughter. While I am still not comfortable with my legs, I showed my upper arms quite a bit and even got color on them. I didn't think that was even possible. <BR> We had both my dad and my husband's dad visit us and spend some ... Wed, 4 Sep 2013 11:20:00 EST Very personal: don't read if you are scared of "lady issues" Oh man, I haven't written in a while ... <BR> <BR> I've been taking it easy. Trying to conceive is still the no 1 thing on my mind. So since my last blog entry, I've actually increased my calories and have gone easier on the exercise. I still exercise of course, I am just not at the gym every free minute. I go to the gym twice or three times a week now and the other days I walk or bike. I don't weigh myself every day either. I thought I would gain weight this way but when I was weighed at my... Mon, 12 Aug 2013 13:19:13 EST Sicko My daughter has her weekly play date every Friday morning. We were 5 moms and 6 kids last Friday. Friday night my daughter had a runny nose. Saturday she started to get cranky. Sunday was spent in my lap, feverish and coughing a lot. <BR> I started feeling sick Sunday too but it was manageable. I considered going to the gym but felt a bit too weak. Monday I woke up and I felt terrible. I had gotten sick too. <BR> It's Tuesday now and I still feel really sick. My daughter is mostly recovered... Tue, 23 Jul 2013 15:07:46 EST Uncharted territory When I first started to lose weight, a bit more than a year ago, I had a definite goal: get back to my lowest weight ever. My lowest (grown up) weight ever was 265lbs. I was about a size 18/20 at that weight. <BR> If you look at my blog entries from a year ago, I was longing to be that size. That was really my ultimate goal, one that seemed impossible to achieve. <BR> <BR> I remember reaching 275lbs. It was still 10lbs heavier than my lowest weight but I already wore smaller clothes than whe... Sat, 20 Jul 2013 09:31:17 EST "Have you lost weight? Like, a LOT of weight?" It's been more than a year that I changed my eating and added exercise to my life. I remember Fall of last year. I felt so thin! I was still over 300lbs but I felt fit and so much smaller. Nobody noticed. I had lost around 50lbs already by then but when you are a certain stage of "fat", people don't notice. They don't notice a difference between "very very fat" for "very fat" (sorry if this is offensive to some people. It took me a long time to say or even write the "f" word but now it makes ... Tue, 16 Jul 2013 12:04:41 EST A healthy diet on a budget I am not good at saving money. It's strange because I grew up very poor and until my husband (back then, still my boyfriend) and I moved in, I lived paycheck to paycheck but I made it work. At my poorest my monthly budget to spend on anything from groceries to clothing to school supplies was about $100 (I was a student then). After that I found a job that paid about $23000/year. I was living in an expensive, European capital. I went out a lot. I shared an apartment with 3 angry girls (and lot... Wed, 10 Jul 2013 15:09:55 EST Juicing and fertility The holidays were hard. Were they hard for you too? They didn't have to be as hard as I made them for myself but something clicked. Last week was just not a good week for me. Mood swings and intense hunger. It all started (got triggered?) by me buying some "healthy" vegetable chips/snacks. I am not a snack person. And I am definitely not a processed food person. Whenever we buy pretzels or chips for guests, they end up going bad because I have absolutely no desire to eat them and waste my cal... Tue, 9 Jul 2013 09:39:40 EST Hunger. So I had been doing so well. I added cycling to my exercise and I love it so much (I used to cycle everywhere before I had my daughter). I still kept my normal workout routine which meant there were a few days last week when I actually burned more calories than I consumed. <BR> But I guess it was a bit too much. On Sunday I found myself extremely exhausted. We were invited to a BBQ. I had eaten very healthy all day to counteract whatever I would eat at the BBQ. We were supposed to eat early a... Wed, 3 Jul 2013 11:13:40 EST Cycling is LIFE! I finally got my bike fixed yesterday. It's been in storage for about a year, which means, last time I rode it, I was about 80lbs heavier. <BR> Let me tell you, riding a bike when you are in good shape and weigh 80lbs less is a lot easier. In fact, I had an amazing first bike ride yesterday. Biking is one of my very favorite ways to work out and I can't wait to get some extra exercise in, riding EVERYWHERE. The only issue is, I live in Chicago and I have a toddler, so it's not the safest pla... Fri, 28 Jun 2013 09:48:25 EST Oven-baked buttermilk chicken recipe I peed a lot yesterday and today I am 2lbs lighter. That would be awesome if it wouldn't mean that I am now just at the same weight that I have been fighting at for the past week. Despite heavy workouts and sticking to my plant-based, under-1650 calorie diet, things are just not moving. *Maybe* it's muscle weight. I did do a lot of new weights but honestly, looking in the mirror I feel puffy and heavier than before. Those six pounds I put on after the end of the juice cleanse are just making ... Thu, 27 Jun 2013 10:13:02 EST I know it's just a number but ... So, I gained two pounds last night. And I know y'all are going to tell me that it's just water weight and I know you guys must be right because I have been sticking to 1650 calories the last few days and I did some great workouts and almost every meal I've had in the last few days was a salad (vegetable based), so really, it is not physically possible to gain fat unless I have some rare disease but seriously - I can't help it - it bothers me. <BR> <BR> See, for some people gaining a pound or... Wed, 26 Jun 2013 14:07:30 EST Why the juice cleanse wasn't a good idea for me It's been almost two weeks since my juice cleanse ended. And I am back at 265lbs. That's 6lbs above my "end of the juice cleanse" weight. That's 2lbs above my "Before the juice cleanse weight". So you could say, this juice cleanse has not been a success for me. <BR> <BR> The day after the cleanse ended, I did really well. I stuck to a mostly raw, vegetarian diet. I stuck to my calories and still, I immediately gained a pound back. The week after that proved to be a lot trickier. My dad and s... Tue, 25 Jun 2013 10:31:57 EST Juice Cleanse, the end First of all, what I think most people want to know: How much did I lose? <BR> Well, strictly seen I lost 4lbs. However, I gained 2lbs the day before the cleanse (water weight from eating too much sodium? Who knows ...), so really, I only lost 2lbs. I did meet my goal of getting out of the 260s. I was 259lbs. For one day. Yesterday was the day after my cleanse. I stuck to a mostly raw, vegetarian diet. Veggie soup for breakfast, a Chipotle vegetarian salad for lunch, a green juice as a snack... Fri, 14 Jun 2013 15:56:35 EST Juice Cleanse, Day 3 - almost done Mornings are hard. Afternoons, not so much and I figured out why. <BR> <BR> I start my day with a green juice, made of kale, spinach, celery, green apple, parsley and all kinds of other green stuff which makes it taste like a salad in a bottle. I also have green tea and lemon water. My next drink is the "angry lemonade" and then around noon, I have a juice made out of beets and carrots. Not the tastiest of drinks but the most caloric, due to it being really sweet (no sweeteners, the beets a... Wed, 12 Jun 2013 14:47:23 EST Juice Cleanse, Day Two of Three I got through day 1. By the end of the day I was actually kind of giddy and happy. I decided the "lemonade" they have me drink as my second juice of the day makes me grumpy. Hence, I will from now on only refer to it as "Angry Lemonade". <BR> Angry Lemonade is made of lemon juice, agave syrup and cayenne pepper and is really sour. There isn't much cayenne in it and the first day it was very hard to swallow. Today it went down much easier. Still, both yesterday and today I started feeling su... Tue, 11 Jun 2013 13:26:34 EST Juice Cleanse, Day One of Three So, it's lunch time here. I just had my second juice, a "lemonade" with cayenne pepper and only very slightly sweetened. I got my juices this morning from a juice bar (I had a Groupon for a three-day-cleanse). Due to traffic, I only had my first juice at 10am, so I am somewhat behind on my juices. I get six juices per day. <BR> <BR> The worst so far is my mood. I thought it would be hunger but so far I am not hungry. Having those juices every 2 hours really helps to keep the hunger in check... Mon, 10 Jun 2013 14:13:39 EST So I am no longer "morbidly obese" but I feel the same First of all - let me thank you all for your overwhelming response to my post the other day! It really meant a lot to me. I am glad we are all on this journey together! <BR> <BR> The weight has been just falling off me this past week. I am very surprised because it's a week before that "time of the month" and I usually don't lose weight then because I retain so much water. <BR> I lost 6lbs this week which brings me down to 261.4lbs. <BR> <BR> The only thing I did was to follow my calorie r... Sat, 8 Jun 2013 09:05:39 EST One year, one hundred pounds gone! I started my journey almost exactly a year ago. I joined my gym on 7/1/2012. I joined after I had been struggling to shed the excessive pregnancy weight I gained as well as the extra weight I always carried around with me. A year ago I had a three day stomach flu, that left me 10lbs lighter. I liked being 10lbs lighter and that is how I decided to keep on losing weight. I started at 365lbs after that stomach flu. <BR> <BR> Today I actually weight 100.6lbs less than I weighed a year ago. At 2... Thu, 6 Jun 2013 11:18:52 EST Two weeks back to calorie counting and 11lbs lost So this is going well! I have stayed under 1700 calories most days since I started. I went over a bit over Memorial Day weekend but I was back to my target right after. <BR> 2 more pounds to lose and then I will have officially lost 100lbs since I started my journey a year ago. I am already almost 130lbs down from the night I had my baby. <BR> <BR> I was surprised how easy it seems to stick to my calories right now but I know it's all about the mindset and motivation is unfortunately not s... Sat, 1 Jun 2013 09:56:23 EST Work out exhaustion First off - I survived the holiday weekend! And three meals at friends houses (two of them BBQs). I didn't gain! I didn't lose either but hey, I lost 8lbs last week. I am glad that I got through this weekend without gaining weight. And yesterday I was back on track. I know it's good for me to eat more some days anyway, so my body doesn't get too used to eating a low calorie diet. So yeah, I KNOW it's good for me to eat more some days but still, in the back of my mind a little, nagging voice a... Wed, 29 May 2013 14:52:50 EST Counting, counting, counting ... The calorie tracking has been going great. I tracked every day this week and I lost five pounds. <BR> Yesterday wasn't that good. I had good intentions and had my day all planned out but I was hosting a play date and I made some veggie spice cake (really healthy but still, 220 calories a piece ...) for all the kids and mommas and ended up eating two pieces of it. Somehow having sugar in my blood opened me up for more bad eating and when my husband brought me a chocolate chip cookie from work ... Sat, 25 May 2013 10:35:44 EST So calorie counting works! I've been watching what I eat and counting my calories since last Friday and I am four pounds down so far. My jeans all fit again, so yay! <BR> <BR> I hope it continues like this. I have been pretty strict to keeping to my calorie budget of 1500-1700 calories. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I weight 90lbs less than a year ago, so I need a lot less food. <BR> <BR> I am super-duper motivated right now and I hope it stays that way for a while. I had a fantastic elliptical work-out tod... Wed, 22 May 2013 18:00:53 EST "How did you do it?" A lot a people have asked me this question in the last few months. I don't know what they expect me to say. Maybe "The lap-band!" or "Surgery!" or "Atkins!" or "No eating after 5pm!". Of course these are all not true. I tell them the truth, which is always "Diet and exercise!". <BR> <BR> But the last few months I have been asking myself how I did it. How am I still doing it? I am still losing weight. I have hiccups like holidays or bouts of depression which throw me back and have me gain ba... Mon, 20 May 2013 16:29:32 EST Focusing on health vs weight loss My weight is not going down. I had gained another two pounds when I weighed myself yesterday. Though I really watched what I ate since I last got on the scale and saw that 5lbs weight gain. I am pretty sure the last two pounds are due to water retention. <BR> <BR> I am still not sure if I am pregnant or not. I feel like I have "symptoms" but I have felt that way every month over the last four or five months. Sure, this is the first month we really "tried" but that doesn't mean anything. Who... Mon, 13 May 2013 10:20:38 EST Back to reality. I finally weighed myself today. I had avoided the scale out of fear of being demotivated by the number but ... well ... not weighing myself didn't work any either, so I weighed myself. The number was 277lbs. That is about 5lbs more than I weighed two weeks ago, after I came back from my trip. <BR> <BR> It's been really tough the last two weeks. Both my husband and I had some kind of weird virus that made us lethargic and tired constantly. We went to bed early every night and still felt tir... Thu, 9 May 2013 08:55:47 EST Finding back my balance It's been rough, food wise. <BR> <BR> On one hand, I have been so motivated. I crave veggies and salads. I just planted some tomato and pepper plants and a bunch of herbs. I am really in a mood to get back to normal and my dinners have been pretty good, chuck full of vitamin goodness but on the other hand I am having a hard time resisting sugar and junk cravings. It doesn't help that it was my daughter's birthday party a few days ago and we still had half a cake left after everybody left, so... Tue, 7 May 2013 10:01:07 EST Back from Europe and ... the same weight. Well, maybe a pound less even. <BR> <BR> I spent almost a month in Europe, with my husband and my daughter. We went to visit my family and friends and then the country we lived in before we moved to the US. <BR> The beginning was hard. I think I mentioned here before that I had some family problems and when I went to see my mom my emotions really spiraled out of control, resulting in me, stocking up on all my favorite childhood sweets and binging. I did this for two or thr... Wed, 1 May 2013 15:06:03 EST 5lbs down, three more to go ... I seem to be about 5lbs down since starting my cleanse (two smoothies, one meal and snacks) on Monday. That's pretty good! However, I am only one pound below what I was two weeks ago, after I came back from my holiday (on which I seem to actually have lost weight). I think the reason those five pounds came off so fast is because I gained them fast, over Easter week. I'd like to be under 270lbs by Saturday, when I am leaving for a long trip to Europe, for that I have to lose three more pounds.... Wed, 3 Apr 2013 15:53:59 EST Smoothies! Day two of five days of my modified smoothies cleanse. <BR> <BR> I started yesterday with a full-on smoothie cleanse. I did smoothies for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I didn't really plan it that way, I just didn't have time to cook and a smoothie was the best option. <BR> Today I am doing two smoothies. I had lunch out with a friend and I got a tasty chop salad. I feel pretty good about my choices. I love feeling in control - this is why I am doing this, I felt out of control. Food was con... Tue, 2 Apr 2013 15:34:26 EST Refocusing I woke up this morning feeling really anxious. I think have some problems with anxiety sometimes but not enough to go and find help for it but some days I just wake up and I feel really stressed for no reason and today is one of these days. <BR> <BR> Normally working out helps and making music. Mondays are great for that because I usually have guitar class and that makes me feel really great but I am on a break from my classes until May. Mondays are usually also workout days but I am taking... Mon, 1 Apr 2013 10:34:40 EST 10 days to get myself back on track As I wrote in my last post - I have had a bit of a stressful time recently. It's still going on, unfortunately. It's stupid because I am a really, really fortunate person. I have so many wonderful things in my life and I am so very grateful for them, so I don't know why a few little things stress me out so much that my food addiction is coming back full force whenever I feel overwhelmed. <BR> <BR> Ever since I've been back from Florida (a week ago, today), I have been eating, eating, eating.... Mon, 25 Mar 2013 16:28:11 EST "But you are not THAT fat" I just realized very recently that I now reached the status of "fat" that is best described as "not that fat". If people would know that I still weigh about 273lbs, they probably wouldn't see me as "not that fat" but as it is, I am pretty muscly and somewhat tall for a woman and I now wear size 16 pants and XL shirts are sometimes even big on me. I don't understand how that works - that my friend who is 20lbs lighter than me wears two sizes bigger pants (she is a bit shorter but not that much... Sat, 23 Mar 2013 11:13:21 EST Losing weight without trying Last night I came to the Midwest back from a trip to the East coast of Florida with my toddler. We were there for five days, visiting one of my best childhood friends who had just had a baby a few months ago. <BR> <BR> On our trip, I ate whatever I felt like. Now, sometimes I felt like salads and sometimes I felt like eating a fried fish sandwich and fries and almost every day I felt like drinking fresh Florida orange juice and eating ice cream. I shared all my food with my daughter (especi... Tue, 19 Mar 2013 09:56:37 EST Slow and steady into my skinny jeans So, you guys. Right now I am wearing a pair of size 16 regular jeans from Target. They might vanity size the heck out of their jeans but still. I fit into REGULAR jeans. I never, ever have fit into REGULAR jeans, not since I can remember. At one point I was up to a size 28. That was a year ago ... <BR> <BR> I spent the last two weeks trying to make healthy choices, watch my portions and exercise as much as I felt like. I tried to really listen to my body and I found this works really well fo... Mon, 11 Mar 2013 18:11:37 EST On getting my motivation back I finished "French Women Don't Get Fat" a few days again and by the end of the book, I hated it. I mean, I really HATED it. I think my blog gives more info on how to lose weight than this book. Also, that women is not a nutritionist or a doctor and tells us to drink champagne everyday, why? Because she is the CEO of a champagne company. I felt robbed that I actually paid for this leaflet for her champagne company. The "tips" of eating fresh food, that's in season and watch your portions are s... Tue, 5 Mar 2013 14:13:15 EST One girl, three sizes So I ended the month on a bad note: I gained back the weight I lost during my leek cleanse. So this is definitely not something I will do again. I know the reason I gained the weight back was my excessive, emotional eating this past week but I feel like I am slowly gaining back control of my hunger. I already lost one of the 6 pound which I first lost and then gained back last week and the pants that fit me after the "leek cleanse" still fit me, so it's not all bad. <BR> <BR> Yesterday I ven... Fri, 1 Mar 2013 16:37:04 EST And there I was, thinking I started to look "normal" I have been feeling OK about the way I look. Sure, I am still far from my goal weight but I am finally able to not get my clothes exclusively from Lane Bryant and Avenue (absolutely not my style) and I have definitely had more guys smiling at me. I would even go as far as saying that I had guys check me out. Crazy! <BR> I no longer hate pictures of myself and my husband is crazy about me. <BR> But who knows, maybe I am imaging all of this. <BR> <BR> I just changed cleaning lady two months ag... Wed, 27 Feb 2013 16:04:42 EST Enough is enough I am going through a bad episode right now. I am stress eating/emotional eating/overeating. <BR> <BR> There is just so much going on right now. I feel like I can't catch a break and it's so hard to deal with it all. <BR> <BR> The worst thing is that my cat of 10 years is sick right now. She ate a tulip leaf, maybe two days ago and spent all day yesterday throwing up. I spent all of my Sunday running after her and cleaning up her vomit and googling to find a vet that would be open on Sunday... Mon, 25 Feb 2013 17:55:20 EST Good intentions, bad execution As I said, I don't intend to ever do that leek cleanse/diet from French Women Don't Get Fat ever again. It wasn't a good experience for me. I did initially lose 6 pounds and I felt like I got my motivation back. <BR> Now, in the past three days something strange happened. I got extremely hungry. This happens to me due to hormones sometimes but I know this times it's not hormones. And it got worse after I went to the gym. <BR> And then two more things happened - I made this, what I initially t... Sun, 24 Feb 2013 11:49:16 EST Leek Diet - Summery, how much I've lost 6 pounds! I lost 6 pounds in two days! <BR> As noted before, I had to abandon the diet yesterday around noon because I was prescribed antibiotics for my sinus/ear infection. I didn't completely abandon but I did have cheese and crackers and strawberries for lunch. For dinner I had miso-glazed salmon (really amazing - I recommend!) with oven-roasted broccoli and asparagus (this was the scheduled dinner). <BR> <BR> I also met my goal of finally fitting into my last pair of size 20 GAP pants th... Thu, 21 Feb 2013 09:38:06 EST Leek Diet - the end? For more info on the leek diet, please read my previous blog posts about it. <BR> <BR> It is 1.30pm on the second and last day of the leek diet. I just came from the doctor and I have a sinus infection and have to take antibiotics. My doctor strongly suggested I eat something with my pills. <BR> I finished the last of my leeks about half an hour ago. I didn't "overeat" on the leek, I just had three half-cup portions yesterday and two half-cup portions today. The leek juice/broth was finished... Wed, 20 Feb 2013 14:35:42 EST Leek Diet Day 2 <img src=""> <BR> My dinner last night - no - this is not an XXL egg. In fact, it's a somewhat small egg. <BR> <BR> I am starting day two of the leek diet today (the last day). I am allowed to eat a proper dinner today, so I am going to go to Wholefoods later and get a really nice piece of salmon. I want this dinner to be a celebration. <BR> <BR> Getting on the scale this morning, I already lost five pounds - a lot of it is obviously wa... Wed, 20 Feb 2013 08:25:18 EST Leek Diet Update So this is a pretty early update - I am only half a day in. <BR> I have had my leeks for breakfast and lunch and while I really don't object to the leeks - the leek broth is pretty gross. I mean, it makes me feel nauseous just thinking about it at this point and I only had two cups of the stuff. Hopefully it will get better. <BR> <BR> I went online to read about people who did that diet (for those of you who don't know it - Google French Women Don't Get Fat Leek Diet) - it's a two day diet w... Tue, 19 Feb 2013 13:54:03 EST