ANNIEONLI's SparkPeople Blog ANNIEONLI's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Intuition and embracing the moment Yesterday I blogged about fear because something felt "off" when I woke up and started to get was 8am, I had 15 minutes to try and vent feelings out before heading to work...and it helped, it really did. <BR> <BR> However, something was still "pinging" in the back of my head. Like my "Spidy senses" were on full alert that something was going to go down. I get these days once in a while, and depending on the day and what goes down, it can turn into a "bad day" really really qu... Sat, 20 Jan 2018 08:56:28 EST Fear I've been reading a lot about fear lately....and courage, and resiliency, connection and practicing gratefulness (all of which will help dispel and help with fear btw - thank goodness!!!) <BR> <BR> So in the past week, I have been actively practicing gratefulness throughout each day, and you know what? Overall, I feel pretty darned good - especially when things popped up that would trigger fear, anxiety, self-loathing. What I do is I actively will say what I'm grateful for to myself so I ... Fri, 19 Jan 2018 08:21:22 EST The great veggie increase of 2018 Fact: I don't eat enough vegetables...hold on, backspace...I have to eat more vegetables because I don't normally get enough in during the week...or during the weekend....or during the day. <BR> <BR> OK...I don't eat enough vegetables. <BR> <BR> Why? because they are not fast or easy if you don't prep them ahead and face it, I have been on the busier or lazier side (depends on the day/week/month) more so than not. (And yes, I know they come pre-prepped at the grocery store, but I am cheap... Sun, 14 Jan 2018 16:38:48 EST 2018 and 10 years 10 years ago, I was approximately 187 pounds and miserable. <BR> <BR> Yup....unhappy on many levels...probably too many to count, but the few most poignant thought I recall was I hated the body I had, hated the lack of self-esteem, and had the lowest self-worth a person could probably get. <BR> <BR> February of 2008 was when I gave Sparkpeople a shot, and since then....well, the proof is in the pudding. <BR> <BR> In reflecting over the past 2 years, however, there has been a creep of 10 po... Tue, 2 Jan 2018 08:08:37 EST Have a plan B.... I ate 3 ribs for dinner and a baked potato, and then tried to work out an hour later....but the salt content from today's meals must have caught up with me because I had to stop and drink a gallon of water on top of the gallon I drank during the day! Oh man! Not a good move! So I'm postponing it for another hour and then I'll do some stability ball tonight instead. I'm determined to move a bit more every's imperative! <BR> <BR> Anywhoooo....that's why I am here! Figured it's ... Thu, 24 Aug 2017 20:38:10 EST Is it really success? As with every maintenance anniversary coincides with my wedding anniversary, and this time it was for year #7...and every year for the past, oh 4 years? I think?....I have forgotten that anniversary. Thank goodness for the Spark Maintenance team for the reminder for that one! And for all of the Sparkfriends that come and wish me well for doing it for so long....I really do appreciate the visit and well-wishes! <BR> <BR> However, I have to admit that I am on the upside of the Maint... Mon, 17 Jul 2017 18:41:14 EST Too good to be true! <img src=""> <BR> <BR> BEHOLD A MASS OF NOODLES!!!! <BR> <BR> ONLY 20 CALORIES for the ENTIRE BAG!! <em>244</em> <BR> <BR> BUT WAIT! THERE's MORE!!! <em>334</em> <BR> <BR> I try new things to stay current with foods and help out my gluten free peeps when I can...these "noodles" however are not what they appear to be! Made of soy, they are bagged in water (or maybe it's formaldehyde) and you have to rins... Thu, 13 Jul 2017 19:56:29 EST July 4th - catching up after vacation - again Well, I'm back from the second vacation of the year - something that has never really happened before, so it's really time to settle in and buckle down to what I know works and feels good. <BR> <BR> I will not lie...between the April vacation to Disney and this vacation at the end of June to NH, it's been VERY rough getting back to what I had going the first 3 months of the year. VERY VERY rough. Weight wise, I'm still stuck in the 140s and not exactly happy about it, but I'm dealing. P... Tue, 4 Jul 2017 10:06:04 EST The Beauty Supply store Update: So last week I got sick...and I'm still recuperating...things take time and I'm still gun-shy about eating, but it is what it is.....and things I was looking SO forward to at the end of the week came to a screeching halt for a whole bunch of things totally out of my control (other people's behaviors, the weather, my GI tract, etc, etc.). So camping for my son's 15th birthday and Mother's Day was cancelled thanks to a monsoon, my Friday fun afternoon was interrupted by nonsense and TH... Sat, 13 May 2017 14:06:49 EST An Island I haven't been very verbal on Spark the last few weeks....I was trying to get back into the normal groove after my vacation 4/8 - 4/16. You all know how it is....vacation is fun, and then <em>530</em> back to the harsh reality of life. School and work...the crazy rat race, etc. that was totally gone is still there and you have to deal. <BR> <BR> It's depressing after a fun week of not really the post-vacation blues set in on me. <BR> <BR> Add the post-vacation bloat and ... Sat, 29 Apr 2017 07:27:28 EST Energy projection Ever think about how you project or present yourself out to the world? On one of my Sparkfriends 2BDYNAMIC just wrote about it in her Most Popular Blog Post "Who Matters Most?" - go check it out <link><BR>urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=6343518 </link> <BR> <BR> Something rang with me when I read it...she put into words what I kinda do everyday when I get ready for work....I get battle ready!! <BR> <BR> And when I mean that, it's not about going out an... Thu, 6 Apr 2017 06:45:31 EST A story of looking ahead I have known this one individual as an old patient from the practice I used to run, as well as a teacher to a few of my kids.....I happened to bump into her last night at the science fair and had a short quick chat with her. <BR> <BR> She is approaching 60, but looks FABULOUS! She runs and swims everyday, and I see her around the neighborhood running in the early hours whenever I happen to be out and about at the same time. She has been doing this for at least 30 years of me knowing her. <... Wed, 22 Mar 2017 06:13:41 EST Spark changes I'm a big supporter of change. <BR> <BR> Yup...I've found that if I don't change things up...I get complacent, and in a rut, and then things don't have any oomph...and I've found my get up and go, just got up and went without me ever realizing it! <BR> <BR> So when Spark changed things up a bit a few days ago, I was probably one of the first that was like <em>244</em> something new!!! Let me at it!! <BR> <BR> Another thing I do is sit back and watch...and listen...and observe. Oh yea... Sat, 11 Mar 2017 16:53:20 EST Tending the fire Spring in February here on Long Island was replaced with Winter in March today...cold and biting, windy yet sunny. <BR> <BR> In my fireplace, which hasn't been used once this winter, were tons of old papers that held good intentions as kindling sometime back in today, I decided to light 'em up! <BR> <BR> I used to be the house pyro-maniac when we installed this wood burning stove about 5 years ago, during the height of outrageous oil prices and being home a lot. I can make a... Fri, 3 Mar 2017 16:43:18 EST Slow & Steady This time around....NSV's are like gold to me! The scale is sllooooooowly creeping down into my Mx range...and that is fine. It's not 2 pounds per week, like I'd want by far! So the NSV's are going to have to be a little bit more emphasized so I don't totally lose my mind! <em>100</em> <BR> <BR> The latest was my blue bridesmaid dress that I use as a gauge every May. I can't even remember the year I wore it, 2011? maybe?? but I love that dress and I have vowed to fit it in every year ... Fri, 24 Feb 2017 05:53:59 EST The next gen of Sparking My son was working on a marketing project the other day comparing the different generations from the Baby Boomers on up...and what each generation looks for in products to buy and such....which got me to thinking about my own observations which happen to be about this place! <BR> <BR> I'm leader to this week's new team and to date there are 13,064+ new members added to Sparkpeople this week so far!! <BR> <BR> Yay!!! <BR> <BR> BUT (there is a but here...observations always have a "but") <... Sat, 18 Feb 2017 08:09:27 EST Another Sparkiversary in the books!! <em>507</em> plus <em>506</em> is a whole lot of Spark Years on here!! 9 full ones under my belt and entering year 10 - HOLY COW!! <BR> <BR> And it just so happens that I'm heading up a new Spark Class starting next week! How fun! How exciting! It reminds me of when I started up here...sooooo overwhelmed with how to do everything!! <BR> <BR> Makes me super happy that I worked my Sparkpage the way I did with all of those updates - yeah, sure it's long to read...but it's all the ups and ... Thu, 9 Feb 2017 07:28:16 EST January's progress Now that January is over, I'm going to do a little recap. <BR> <BR> - NSVs a bunch!!! <BR> + clothes fit better <BR> + mood is steady thanks to oatmeal and vitamins (new additions to my routine) <BR> + house is neater and cleaner overall because I'm more conscious of doing things right when I think of them <BR> + working on letting things go quicker - so far so good <BR> + working on setting limits at work - seems to be working out - I have to constantly remind myself to reign in my caring t... Thu, 2 Feb 2017 06:44:57 EST Those trying days I literally have 10 minutes to write this...I have to get moving to get kids to work and school! <BR> <BR> So why the quick blog? Because you know those negative feelings and deciding about how you react to reactions blog I wrote last week? Yeah, I'm in the thick of doing just that....of following my own advice and battling against the negative. <BR> <BR> It's came from out of the blue yesterday. Hit me like a brick falling from the sky, which makes me think it's hormonal mor... Wed, 25 Jan 2017 08:10:21 EST My scale can't make up it's mind This morning, I'm completely in my birthday suit, 6am, right after I pee, and I pull out the scale that I have been using since I started Spark in 2008 to do my morning weigh in....and I step on..... <BR> <BR> Let me digress for a minute: Being a maintainer, I used to the daily weigh-in thing, then....I got lost along the way and stopped weighing and tracking altogether (stupid moves for a maintainer) I gained a solid 8-10 since my lowest maintained weight of 132 a few years back...and ... Sun, 22 Jan 2017 07:33:20 EST A message from the past "Self-love is harder to figure out than self-loathing. It's easier to be mean than kind in many cases, and even more so when it comes to ourselves. Self-love takes discipline and acceptance of things we cannot change, and of accepting the challenge to change the things that we can." ~~me <BR> <BR> Yup...I said that in 2011 and wrote it down...and I just came across it again on FB's "on this day" thingy that they I figured I'd share it with you again. I probably wrote it on someone... Wed, 18 Jan 2017 07:16:23 EST You decide your actions Last week I wrote about NSV's and this week I kept up the same routine, but switched things up here and there - like exercise: I added reps and threw some other body-weight exercises into the mix...I'm actually on a streak of 14 days as of yesterday! Watch, now that I wrote that, I just jinxed myself! LoL <em>211</em> In the past, writing down that I did that would mean insta-failure and backtrack to the past, but this time around....let's just state it for a fact that I did that! And it'... Sun, 15 Jan 2017 07:14:22 EST NSV and the "New Year, New You" mindset I might not have lost a pound this week (or maybe I have bc I didn't weigh myself since before the holidays started)...but I will tell you this, I feel better and have a better attitude about life than I had in a long time. It just so happens to coincide with the new year starting, so the big joke around my house and work is the "New Year, new you" motto and it keeps getting batted around with a little bit of sarcasm, and a trace of truth. <BR> <BR> So what have I done? <BR> - I make my be... Sat, 7 Jan 2017 06:25:37 EST Out with the old and in with the new With every new year comes the good intentions, the hope for being better than the previous year....yadda yadda yadda....and then 2 weeks later, the big flop because our good intentions went right out the window with one or two derailing simple and miniscule events, such as skipping a workout or giving into temptation. This inevitably is followed by the standard issue self-loathing and binge eating.. <BR> <BR> Sound familiar? <BR> <BR> That's one of the reasons why I don't do resolutions any... Mon, 2 Jan 2017 07:55:49 EST Remember where you've been <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Now that I'm back in the swing of things again....Sparking, tracking, being more active and feeling more in control that I have in a long time...this morning over coffee, I decided to take a look at my weight tracker from the past 2 weeks...and that went to a year...then two I decided to just check the graph from when I started back in 2008. <BR> <BR> As you can see above, there... Fri, 23 Dec 2016 07:42:36 EST A week gone by... I promised myself I'd blog a bit more, so here is a quick recap of the week of tracking... <BR> <BR> Only 1 day off track and it only went up to 2100 calories..considering that was a party day, it's not too bad. <BR> <BR> I didn't exercise exercise, but I am always running around anyway, but I did do more after work and changed routine with certain things, so I didn't feel like I was in a rut anymore...another good thing! <BR> <BR> I weighed myself everyday (GASP!) but I wanted to see wher... Sun, 18 Dec 2016 08:15:49 EST Where'd you go? I asked that question to myself the other day, because in the last few months, I have felt a little bit like a lost child.....wandering aimlessly in the direction, no breadcrumb trail in sight (although, I might have wound up emotionally eating it at some point, I just couldn't tell you when) <em>198</em> <em>246</em> <BR> <BR> It led me to ponder where I was....and where did I go?? A constant Sparker-lifer lost in the woods who wrote about not disappearing as a success tip... Wed, 14 Dec 2016 05:48:25 EST Spark Premium review <em>252</em> as everyone knows....and have been on here for eons at this point <em>40</em> with no intentions of leaving any time soon <em>334</em> <BR> <BR> So I finally decided to get Spark Premium for a few reasons, the #1 reason being that I'd give back to the site that helped me change my life for the better....and if it came with all they advertised, well...all the more better! <em>250</em> <BR> <BR> Well, I've been on it for a whole 2 days with Premium and I really hav... Sun, 11 Sep 2016 08:57:50 EST And so it begins.... <em>211</em> And so another school year has begun, and this time, it looks like the sports/chauffeur schedule is at an all-time crazy and earlier on than last I will say it now, the feeling I had of being a football widow that normally surfaces in late October is rearing its ugly head now...and the feeling is not pleasant, and it comes with stress and angst, but there is ONE thing that makes it different: I am needed! <BR> <BR> Last year it was all hubby, all the time - he did i... Sat, 10 Sep 2016 09:16:08 EST Will this matter in 5 years? It's a phrase that got stuck in my head on Monday bc I find myself worrying about work more than anything, and my co-worker said something like that last week and it sorta stuck with me. <BR> <BR> So now, when I start worrying about something, I ask myself: will this matter in 5 years? <BR> <BR> Work related: obsessing about getting something done according to MY punctual timeline when, let's face it, the majority of other people take their sweet-arsed time. I'm there almost 3 years and st... Wed, 24 Aug 2016 06:01:18 EST What summer vacation? My coworker and I have a joke going on...we are both in our 40s and work with 20-somethings who constantly ask for permission to go on vacation. <BR> <BR> Yesterday, my coworker calls to me from across the room after a meeting ended "So-and-so over here said the v-word to me just now" and I was quick to respond "what is this v-word that everyone keeps using?!?!?!" <BR> <BR> Because you see, as supervisors, we don't really get to use the v-word that often....him more-so than me. <BR> <BR... Sat, 30 Jul 2016 08:54:29 EST The wide awake blog - the week's recap <em>40</em> 3:30 am.....up since idea why <BR> <BR> So here I am on Spark and reading popular Sparkpeople the My Graph looks like Shark Week by AuntieJ - I can totally get what she wrote......just don't get why the member with blogs about cats and dogs gets featured so much each his own I guess.... <BR> <BR> I've been very active and feeling much better the last week since I decided to get off my rump again and move more consciously...and the deck buil... Fri, 8 Jul 2016 04:05:48 EST Deck building So being that I'm alone for half of this weekend, I'm faced with the whole question of "What are you going to do with all that down time?" and the statements of "That must be great! I'd sleep in, and be at the beach, and hang out!" <BR> <BR> Yeah, those are ideas and all....and I've hung out alone every year, and every year is completely different because honestly? Hanging out at the beach by yourself really isn't that great for hours on's lonely! I know because I've done it! ... Sun, 3 Jul 2016 06:58:03 EST Changed the morning today... I was awake at 3:30am to say goodbye to the hubby and eldest as they began their journey to pick up the 2 younger guys in NC....I was up. <BR> <BR> 4:30am greeted me with a cup of coffee and I went outside to fix the lawn furniture....and the cool morning air was great...and I felt like FINALLY I should get I hit the treadmill at around 5:00am <BR> <BR> And that lasted for a whole 10 minutes. <em>40</em> <BR> <BR> The air outside was calling to me so I went with it! I hop... Fri, 1 Jul 2016 06:21:08 EST Morning routine Coffee.... <BR> <BR> Spark..... <BR> <BR> Coffee.... <BR> <BR> Don't engage until the coffee is in and I'm speaking to you first is a rule I like to tell people. <BR> <BR> It's a simple 6:30 I hit the shower and get ready and by 7:30 I am eating breakfast, getting lunch reasy and by 8am, I'm out the door. (Add kids in there during school and yeah......nope, pretty much the same thing.) <BR> <BR> It's my routine - and try as I may, over umpteen years, there is not a chance... Thu, 30 Jun 2016 06:30:46 EST Enjoy the silence 2 of the boys are in NC, the other one is sleeping, the house is pretty quiet and it's the first day in a looooooong month that we have nowhere pressing to this is what stress-free feels like. <BR> <BR> Going to enjoy it for a few minutes. <BR> <BR> Going to enjoy my coffee a little longer while I type. <BR> <BR> The house is pretty darned clean because we have had people over every other day all last week due to school graduations, people from out of town, and birthday parties. ... Sat, 25 Jun 2016 07:58:46 EST June craziness - I hate it - so there. :P This week: absolutely, positively the most nutty week ever. <BR> <BR> Things that were all over the place: <BR> a) eating (if I eat takeout or pizza for that matter one more time, so help me) oh, see reason b <BR> b) the family (are we ever not running around???) <BR> c) my emotions (lots of mama-bear reactions taking place, road rage top bc people are all idiots this week) <BR> <BR> And the reason is.......drum roll please......It's JUNE!!! Of course! <BR> <BR> While most people see Jun... Sat, 11 Jun 2016 07:36:19 EST The post weekend weigh-in Oh yesterday I drank.....more than I usually do at a family gathering. I ate chips too. Today I'm fine, but instead of waiting until Thursday for my usual weigh-in, I did it this morning after my 2 cups of coffee. Not the norm either. <BR> <BR> And I came out at 143.5. <BR> <BR> Which I'm kinda not surprised at either. Hubby is up 10-15 pounds because of stress-snack eating since we got back from the cruise in February. ... my excuse is alcohol....and the upcoming TOM (yay) <BR> <BR>... Tue, 31 May 2016 08:10:40 EST Tracking - just do it! Y'all know that I'ma HUGE fan of tracking my nutrition....because, it works and it got me where I am today....and it keeps be on track! <em>246</em> (Sorry, I couldn't resist that one!) <BR> <BR> But I will admit - I have not tracked anything in a LOOOOOOOOONG time because after a while, maintenance is boring because you eat the same stuff all the time, and you know the drill, and your body stabilizes and you honestly, might not need to every single day anymore (you here that??? But n... Fri, 6 May 2016 05:40:10 EST When food shuts up PJH2028 "so.... magic balance of paying attention and NOT making food the center of my focus. Activities... opening up to more.... delicate as a butterfly wing ... flapping... " <BR> <BR> That is a status quote from my Sparkfriend this morning and it resonated with me because it is very on point. <BR> <BR> A lot of food issues come from focusing on food as the comforter or the enemy....and with each role it plays, it's like food is ALWAYS the center of attention in our lives and it gets ver... Fri, 22 Apr 2016 06:39:24 EST Reach out & speak up! I'm guilty of not reaching out when I need it the most....that's why I have a little blurb on my page telling people to do so when they need to. <BR> <BR> And I really love it when people actually do....and what I say actually works for them! <BR> <BR> There is no secret to what I tell fact, it's all right here on Spark, I just tell it in my own words. Sometimes, that is the key to getting back on track: reading someone else's experience to realize you really aren't that far o... Tue, 12 Apr 2016 06:25:07 EST A guilt-free night out I went out with friends last night to a Whiskey and Wine bar...the kind that has the small plate menu. <BR> <BR> I've been there before, and it was OK....and with these places, the food is always rich and high in calories...and you can EASILY over eat with the meat & cheese board and the gooey mac & cheese dish. <BR> <BR> I kinda made a pact with myself that I was NOT going to over eat.....and I am happy to announce that I did just that. I ate until I was not starving anymore, and stopped... Sun, 10 Apr 2016 07:11:10 EST Day 1,435,281's not really that day because I'm not 3932 years old...but it is a little tongue in cheek on how some people title things...because let's face it, to find something in your writing when you search for "that moment" when only doing a day count without much else in it, makes that search next to impossible!! (might want to think about that if you've been doing it...just pointing out the obvious). <BR> <BR> And then there's the feeling that you've been dieting FOREVER and it feels like ... Sat, 9 Apr 2016 07:29:27 EST Sparkgoodies - we need a new one: WINE I've found that I use the same Sparkgoodies over and over again when I give them out. <BR> <BR> I'd even say I can list them right now: <BR> - smiley face <BR> - rainbow <BR> - flame <BR> - coffee (use that one a lot) <BR> - hug <BR> - mediation <BR> - candle <BR> - megaphone <BR> - flowers <BR> - confetti <BR> <BR> <BR> Yeah....those are my top 10. <BR> <BR> You know what would be a great addition? a glass of red wine! <BR> <BR> Yes, WINE !!!! <BR> <BR> Why? Because most of us will ... Thu, 7 Apr 2016 06:35:04 EST Spring cleaning I have to thank everyone who reached out to me on my last blog and on my really does mean the world to me that you are always here to support, even though I forget to reach out when I need it the most. Some comments really brought tears to my eyes along with a smile to my thank you for that. <BR> <BR> I just wanted to come on here to give you a little peek into my de-funking...which basically started Easter weekend...with the microwave. <BR> <BR> Let's back track: Fo... Sun, 3 Apr 2016 20:11:36 EST The disappearing act I openly admit that I go and do a Spark-disappearing act from time to time....and it's usually when things are derailing in some way, shape or form. <BR> <BR> This time, the derailing factor was me. <BR> <BR> It's not that I've been too busy to get on night I have plenty of time to play Spark-catch-up....and there is the Spark app and Pep which I troll during the's just that it's been me. <BR> <BR> I've been thinking everyday since my February vacation that I need to ... Sat, 2 Apr 2016 07:04:53 EST Here since 2008 - happy Sparkiversary to me! Tomorrow is by 8th Anniversary and the start of my 9th year here on Sparkpeople. <BR> <BR> If you read my page, it's got all the stats on it, so I'm not going to rehash it....again. LoL I'm 135 today and 50+ pounds down (still) from my original SW of 187. I've been maintaining that for years now (I forget the count)....and yet, it still is a struggle. <BR> <BR> The struggle really is a mental one. I don't know what it is about this past year, but it was one of the harder ones. LOTS of n... Sun, 7 Feb 2016 07:11:18 EST Listening If you've read my stuff, then you already know that I'm keen to listening to my body...that goes for the physical and mental part of it. I know exactly when I'm "off". <BR> <BR> Right now....I'm "off". <BR> <BR> Looks like a winter funk has settled in, and stress doesn't help. I had absolutely NOTHING to do last weekend, and that didn't help either! It was like a forced vacation, but when it's forced because everyone else is doing something fun and you are the loser who asks and gets ... Thu, 21 Jan 2016 05:33:12 EST First blog of 2016 <em>32</em> <BR> <BR> There ya go. <BR> <BR> <em>246</em> <BR> <BR> I'd blame the wine for such goofiness, but all I've got it coffee going in right now. <em>246</em> <BR> <BR> The first week was full of a myriad of things - from exercise highs (hiked almost 6 miles) to exercise lows (nothing at all and killing my 7 day streak) ....from relaxing to back to post-vacation stress that seemed a bit more annoying and higher than usual because it was not expected. <BR> <BR> C'est la... Sat, 9 Jan 2016 07:43:13 EST Dance to your own tune <img src=""> I was exercising today (the 4th consecutive day of it, gotta do it when I have the free time) and I was thinking about the songs I was listening to and thought I'd share. Everyone has their own set of songs that gets them going....punk, metal, funk, cardio-workout-pop mixes. I'm a modern day pop, new tunes on the radio with a good beat, scroll through iTunes and see what hits me kinda chick. That's t... Thu, 31 Dec 2015 13:19:54 EST