ANNIEONLI's SparkPeople Blog ANNIEONLI's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community When food shuts up PJH2028 "so.... magic balance of paying attention and NOT making food the center of my focus. Activities... opening up to more.... delicate as a butterfly wing ... flapping... " <BR> <BR> That is a status quote from my Sparkfriend this morning and it resonated with me because it is very on point. <BR> <BR> A lot of food issues come from focusing on food as the comforter or the enemy....and with each role it plays, it's like food is ALWAYS the center of attention in our lives and it gets ver... Fri, 22 Apr 2016 06:39:24 EST Reach out & speak up! I'm guilty of not reaching out when I need it the most....that's why I have a little blurb on my page telling people to do so when they need to. <BR> <BR> And I really love it when people actually do....and what I say actually works for them! <BR> <BR> There is no secret to what I tell fact, it's all right here on Spark, I just tell it in my own words. Sometimes, that is the key to getting back on track: reading someone else's experience to realize you really aren't that far o... Tue, 12 Apr 2016 06:25:07 EST A guilt-free night out I went out with friends last night to a Whiskey and Wine bar...the kind that has the small plate menu. <BR> <BR> I've been there before, and it was OK....and with these places, the food is always rich and high in calories...and you can EASILY over eat with the meat & cheese board and the gooey mac & cheese dish. <BR> <BR> I kinda made a pact with myself that I was NOT going to over eat.....and I am happy to announce that I did just that. I ate until I was not starving anymore, and stopped... Sun, 10 Apr 2016 07:11:10 EST Day 1,435,281's not really that day because I'm not 3932 years old...but it is a little tongue in cheek on how some people title things...because let's face it, to find something in your writing when you search for "that moment" when only doing a day count without much else in it, makes that search next to impossible!! (might want to think about that if you've been doing it...just pointing out the obvious). <BR> <BR> And then there's the feeling that you've been dieting FOREVER and it feels like ... Sat, 9 Apr 2016 07:29:27 EST Sparkgoodies - we need a new one: WINE I've found that I use the same Sparkgoodies over and over again when I give them out. <BR> <BR> I'd even say I can list them right now: <BR> - smiley face <BR> - rainbow <BR> - flame <BR> - coffee (use that one a lot) <BR> - hug <BR> - mediation <BR> - candle <BR> - megaphone <BR> - flowers <BR> - confetti <BR> <BR> <BR> Yeah....those are my top 10. <BR> <BR> You know what would be a great addition? a glass of red wine! <BR> <BR> Yes, WINE !!!! <BR> <BR> Why? Because most of us will ... Thu, 7 Apr 2016 06:35:04 EST Spring cleaning I have to thank everyone who reached out to me on my last blog and on my really does mean the world to me that you are always here to support, even though I forget to reach out when I need it the most. Some comments really brought tears to my eyes along with a smile to my thank you for that. <BR> <BR> I just wanted to come on here to give you a little peek into my de-funking...which basically started Easter weekend...with the microwave. <BR> <BR> Let's back track: Fo... Sun, 3 Apr 2016 20:11:36 EST The disappearing act I openly admit that I go and do a Spark-disappearing act from time to time....and it's usually when things are derailing in some way, shape or form. <BR> <BR> This time, the derailing factor was me. <BR> <BR> It's not that I've been too busy to get on night I have plenty of time to play Spark-catch-up....and there is the Spark app and Pep which I troll during the's just that it's been me. <BR> <BR> I've been thinking everyday since my February vacation that I need to ... Sat, 2 Apr 2016 07:04:53 EST Here since 2008 - happy Sparkiversary to me! Tomorrow is by 8th Anniversary and the start of my 9th year here on Sparkpeople. <BR> <BR> If you read my page, it's got all the stats on it, so I'm not going to rehash it....again. LoL I'm 135 today and 50+ pounds down (still) from my original SW of 187. I've been maintaining that for years now (I forget the count)....and yet, it still is a struggle. <BR> <BR> The struggle really is a mental one. I don't know what it is about this past year, but it was one of the harder ones. LOTS of n... Sun, 7 Feb 2016 07:11:18 EST Listening If you've read my stuff, then you already know that I'm keen to listening to my body...that goes for the physical and mental part of it. I know exactly when I'm "off". <BR> <BR> Right now....I'm "off". <BR> <BR> Looks like a winter funk has settled in, and stress doesn't help. I had absolutely NOTHING to do last weekend, and that didn't help either! It was like a forced vacation, but when it's forced because everyone else is doing something fun and you are the loser who asks and gets ... Thu, 21 Jan 2016 05:33:12 EST First blog of 2016 <em>32</em> <BR> <BR> There ya go. <BR> <BR> <em>246</em> <BR> <BR> I'd blame the wine for such goofiness, but all I've got it coffee going in right now. <em>246</em> <BR> <BR> The first week was full of a myriad of things - from exercise highs (hiked almost 6 miles) to exercise lows (nothing at all and killing my 7 day streak) ....from relaxing to back to post-vacation stress that seemed a bit more annoying and higher than usual because it was not expected. <BR> <BR> C'est la... Sat, 9 Jan 2016 07:43:13 EST Dance to your own tune <img src=""> I was exercising today (the 4th consecutive day of it, gotta do it when I have the free time) and I was thinking about the songs I was listening to and thought I'd share. Everyone has their own set of songs that gets them going....punk, metal, funk, cardio-workout-pop mixes. I'm a modern day pop, new tunes on the radio with a good beat, scroll through iTunes and see what hits me kinda chick. That's t... Thu, 31 Dec 2015 13:19:54 EST Finally done! <em>244</em> <em>334</em> <em>236</em> <BR> It took a little over a week, but the time has finally come where I can say "I'm done" <BR> <BR> Being busy, busy, busy is good and all, but sometimes, when things are all party, party,'s not so great because that comes with its own set of stresses. <BR> <BR> Besides the holiday stuff going on last week, we laid to rest a most beloved uncle on my husband's side of the family. It was 2 Saturday's ago that he passed, so last Mo... Mon, 28 Dec 2015 08:09:52 EST Keep your cookies....give me the wine! No joke about that title....I'll take a glass of wine over a cookie - any day! Just think of all the calories I am saving by passing on all the treats! <BR> <em>334</em> <em>334</em> <em>334</em> <BR> <BR> I have had 5 cookies this month so far. That's pretty darned good considering 'tis the season and all! And that includes the ones I've baked and taste tested for my own house! <BR> <BR> But the bloat from the wine is the issue really. <em>15</em> Dang it all if there's ... Wed, 23 Dec 2015 05:40:06 EST Busy busy busy! 'Tis that time of year!! Between the school holiday gatherings...Hanukkah dinner (I host one for the most loverly Jewish couple who basically adopted my family and kids 9 years ago as their own surrogate grandchildren - so sweet!) and then Christmas prep (I host Christmas Eve for my mom's side of the family).....well Whew!! <em>100</em> things are certainly gearing up in full swing over here! <BR> <BR> Add on top of the gift getting, the wrapping, ... Sun, 6 Dec 2015 07:04:24 EST Sparkguy's Ultimate Sparkpeople Life Challenge Just a quick heads-up here about what Sparkguy is doing on his's pretty cool and I encourage you all to go check it out by following the link below <BR> <BR> <link><BR>urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=6032197 </link> <BR> <BR> Check it out and all of the blogs set up after that first one....and join in the fun...and see what other areas of your life you can change with little changes! <BR> <BR> <em>529</em> Mon, 30 Nov 2015 18:23:24 EST The morning after.... for's like the walk of shame after....well, you clog and overflow a toilet at you friends house. <em>246</em> <BR> <BR> Hahahaha....get your minds out of the gutter people!! <BR> <BR> But what I'm really talking about is the day after Thanksgiving when you finally reassess what you did the day (or 2 days) before. <BR> <BR> Confession: I went out on Wednesday night to the local pub and hung out with my old neighbors....and I happened to drink a bottle of wine. <B... Fri, 27 Nov 2015 07:41:06 EST Long term health My aunt is 82 years old and this past Tuesday, she was rushed to the hospital because she could barely walk 5 steps without becoming out of breath. She hasn't been the healthiest person throughout her life, but she's a tough lady and has always come through.....but this time, blood clots were found in her lungs and possibly her heart, so when I found out I was very upset and called her immediately. <BR> <BR> I found out 2 days after the fact, so she answered the phone all chipper and happy... Sat, 21 Nov 2015 08:15:53 EST Know your body...listen to it I know my body now to a T. <BR> <BR> It took YEARS of tracking nutrition and fitness, blogging, and prior to that, writing things down (I found a journal from 1999-2000 and it had everything I've ever written on here, in it! - goes to show you how the core of what you KNOW you should do is inside you's just implementing it that is the key and the hardest part).....but I digress.... <BR> <BR> I know which foods trigger the feelings of ick....and the cues and clues to when it is ... Thu, 19 Nov 2015 06:45:21 EST A day to reset and unplug On Friday I had a day myself...and from the previous blog post, y'all know how I have a hard time occupying myself when I'm not busy...Sooooooo....I put forth a tentative quiet day plan..... <BR> <BR> I took the day for what it was worth. <BR> <BR> I planned a bit to clean - 15 minutes per room, even set a timer - and off I went. <BR> <BR> I joined the 28 Spark home workout challenge, so I did that too. <BR> <BR> I needed to go food shopping...checked that off my list. <BR> <BR>... Sun, 15 Nov 2015 07:25:27 EST When I'm not busy.... When I'm not busy....I don't know what to do!! <BR> <BR> Because of working the weekend, I had to take this morning off and go in late because of an event we have here I am killing the clock until I leave in an hour. <BR> <BR> This morning (cold icky weather here) was a forced workout that I really wasn't in the mood to do because I wasn't feeling good....and you know what? I feel better now! I had thought that's how it would be, but just DOING it, the lack of motivation, the... Thu, 12 Nov 2015 11:18:10 EST The little things This morning on FB, a friend from high school told us all that yesterday, she had lost her 27 month old daughter to cancer. <BR> ---------------- <BR> ............... <BR> _________ <BR> <BR> I paused a moment and thought of how lucky I was, and how sad I was for her...and, well....that it really sucked. <BR> <BR> Of course, as all humans do, we get caught up in our own drama and routine of the day, and suddenly, the thought of them passed and I was on my way with my day. <BR> <BR> The old... Fri, 6 Nov 2015 19:40:17 EST Everyone needs more cowbell I got a cowbell as a gift today from a student....and it's <em>345</em> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> Of course, everything in my world has a silly story that goes along with it, and this in no exception. I work with college students and every once in a while, they take a test (a BIG test) and there really is no pomp and circumstance at all when it's I started doing the mini golf-clap with my crew on duty ... Fri, 30 Oct 2015 21:19:19 EST Full moon + PMS = run away!! The full moon and my TOM cycle seemed to have synced up! YAY! <em>224</em> <BR> <BR> Um....yeah, I don't think so. <em>40</em> <BR> <BR> Everything seems mood, my irritability, my ability to make mountains out of mole hills. <BR> <BR> You catch my drift. <BR> <BR> So on days like today, the plan is to just shut my mouth....gooooo with the flow (no pun intended - although, that's a pretty good one!) <BR> <BR> I really haven't had a month like this in a while where... Tue, 27 Oct 2015 08:18:09 EST Low self-esteem...the next generation My youngest ran in and was like "Mom, Dan is running down the street and he says he never coming back again!" <BR> <BR> I was instantly at attention and just said, "Ok, so who did what?" <BR> <BR> Evidently, from the youngest's version, the story goes that the oldest said something about football being cool and, and Dan didn't give it enough of a chance because he quit, and if he just tried it would probably would have liked it....but the reaction was not what his older brother expected and... Sun, 18 Oct 2015 19:23:07 EST The Afterglow Well, it's been a fun 2 weeks, with the M2Mom Conference last week and the Q&A/Success story blog article coming out this week. If you didn't catch it is for you to check out. <BR> <BR> <link><BR>st=busy_mom_of_three_gets_the_whole_fa<BR>mily_healthier </link> <BR> <BR> I've talked about not being "out" on Facebook in other blogs...well, I did it....I finally came out as a being overweight there last week while I was at the conference, and ... Fri, 16 Oct 2015 19:11:20 EST NYC/Sparkpeople I'm exhausted....but if I don't do this right now, it might not get done once tomorrow gets started! <BR> <BR> Well I went into the city on my own to tool around and be touristy...had a few things on my bucket list to do by myself, so I figured...why not!?! Walk around! <BR> <BR> First stop: Times Square!! Gratuitous tourist ball shot for ya! See the 2015 up there? <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Next stop: Empire ... Wed, 7 Oct 2015 20:44:45 EST Representing Sparkpeople in NYC! Ok...this is some HUGE news I'm going to share here. <em>334</em> <BR> <BR> Most of the time, I tend to shy away from announcing anything major going on, but this involves all of YOU to some degree in some way, shape, or form! <BR> <BR> I have to thank Nu (NUMD97) for really bringing this about....she saw that Spark was looking for a mom in the NYC area to represent a success story and she thought and nominated me to them!! <em>304</em> Nu!!! <BR> <BR> Well a few weeks a... Mon, 5 Oct 2015 19:18:44 EST Post blog events....... Ever do a blog venting something....and after the vent is done, somehow, magically, things take a turn towards a different light. <BR> <BR> This happens to me all the time. I just vented about busy things going on here and hugs, and whallah, things smoothed out just in time...busy, but more pleasant than I thought it was going to be....and I actually got tons of hugs this weekend!!!!!! <BR> <BR> Maybe it was being around different sets of people and getting to know each them that was the ... Sun, 4 Oct 2015 19:55:27 EST Rain and Hugs Rain is a good least from where I stand right now....which isn't in any basement flooding or a rising river outside my door thanks to the passing storm. For those of you dealing with have my deepest sympathy. Being a Long Islander, we've seen a lot of that and it's really not all. <em>39</em> <BR> <BR> But for me, last night, the rain cancelled football practice and for that, I am grateful!! The coach (the hubster and volunteer to every organization o... Sat, 3 Oct 2015 07:39:41 EST 5 years on maintenance... thanks Sparkpeople <em>334</em> <BR> It's a neat thing to have to be reminded by the At Goal & Maintaining + Transition to Maintenance team that today was the day I officially entered into Maintenance. I think it happened last year as well! <BR> <BR> You'd think that after all the work of getting to this point, I'd have it tattooed somewhere on my body! <em>246</em> <BR> <BR> But it's a quiet thing that sneaks up on me every year. I remember my first goal date very well, because it coincides with my... Tue, 22 Sep 2015 19:19:55 EST What...a...week School began and it's like the whole place BLEW UP!!!! <em>40</em> <BR> <BR> Papers are everywhere...clutter is everywhere...cups are everywhere...people are scattered everywhere! <BR> <BR> Hello..where are you going? Hello....I am are there...see you later <em>213</em> <BR> <BR> Tuesdays alone has track, religion, karate, and football - all within a 3 hour period. <BR> Fridays has track, karate, football, and scouts - all within a 3 hour period. <BR> <BR> I call them... Fri, 18 Sep 2015 21:18:45 EST 4 weeks and coffee-free It's true!! It's been 4 weeks and I have no real desire to start up again. <BR> <BR> The lovely after effects of coffee <em>40</em> for, you know, regularity <em>243</em> LOL Are really not body can take care of that aaaaalll by itself. And the headache that usually accompanies the withdrawal really wasn't that horrible - only lasted 4 days. <BR> <BR> So what's the reason to go back to it? It makes my gut do flip flops - do I really miss that? no...not really. Is i... Tue, 8 Sep 2015 20:59:32 EST Dear brain, please turn off Dear brain, <BR> <BR> I know you've had a change in chemistry as of late, with me giving up coffee last month, but really...this is getting silly. <BR> <BR> I also know that there's a lot of this swirling around in there...good exciting new stuff that needs to be thought out...but really, can't you work on that in the daylight hours? <BR> <BR> Maaaaaybe, just maybe. if I write about it, you'll leave me alone and let me get those 2 extra hours I so really want because going to bed at 9pm an... Thu, 3 Sep 2015 04:13:14 EST Our influence over others, so why not start today? I'm in a few groups, both on here and on FB....and I have even done this myself over the god-knows-how-many years of weightloss efforts: I'm going to start on _________________. <BR> <BR> I'm going to start on Monday. <BR> <BR> I'm going to start on Sept. 1 (ummmm, that's a Tuesday this year) <BR> <BR> I'm going to start right after Labor day - you know, live it up for the last hurrah. <BR> <BR> Sound familiar? <BR> <BR> It is to me. It's like postponing a gyno exam...proctology exam...... Sun, 30 Aug 2015 09:21:06 EST Old friends Like any small town America, my town is just like it - where people buy their parent's house, where friends become extended family - the only thing about my town is that it's right smack dab in the middle of Long Island! and yes, we are surrounded closely by other towns, but we are kinda different in a few ways... <BR> <BR> We don't have a main street - in fact, we are a cut though to get from one major roadway to another. We're close to an airport, that's busy, but not TOO busy. We are su... Thu, 27 Aug 2015 21:06:17 EST Camping & restricted eating (FUN!) WOOHOO! We just got back from camping today - 4 days of family togetherness in a local state park here on the Island. Except for the one crappy day, it was great! LoL <BR> <BR> So the crappy day was the first full day - I was not feeling my perky 110% self. More like the feeling about 80% I've got abdominal issues self, once again. From my last blog, I've been on an elimination diet of sorts....and it's working fine, until I ate funky on Wednesday, which, no joke, consisted of an egg in the morn... Sun, 23 Aug 2015 21:40:52 EST A week and an ER visit later.... So in my status on Tuesday...I said I was resting after a long weekend and post-Dirty Girl run....and that was the truth. <BR> <BR> What I DIDN'T tell y'all was that I didn't sleep at all from Sunday into Monday morning because of abdominal pain that started in the afternoon...and by 5am Monday, I called in sick, woke the hubby, and went to the ER. <em>282</em> <BR> <BR> The pain is not something that is foreign to 2007, when I was, oh, 185 pounds, I had a common bile duct block... Sun, 16 Aug 2015 09:17:52 EST Dirty Girl Mud 5K 2015 I am going to subtitle this "A stroll thru Citi Field" <BR> <BR> Well, it's done!! And we had a lot of fun!! Not so much running, but a whole lot of laughs along the way, with ten obstacles that made you muddy no matter how hard you tried not to get muddy!! LoL <BR> <BR> Were fears conquered? You betcha! Me and another are not that keen on heights believe it or not...The big net wall had me stopping and saying I wanted to go back about a quarter of the way up, but team work persevered!!... Sun, 9 Aug 2015 06:51:22 EST Dear self.... Hello self! I have to write this to you because maybe you will remember it if you ever go back and read it: You work out better on your own terms....and when you put yourself first for the greater good of all. <BR> <BR> You've tried the class thing ---- it was fun while it lasted. The Murphy's law of "you just paid and now you got sick and didn't go and wasted all your money" thing is over and done with...move on. <BR> <BR> You've tried the "prep for the event" thing...and it's pressure..... Wed, 8 Jul 2015 21:09:53 EST Mental yup...I'm doing a blog from my app because I need a reality check. My head is at 187 pounds while my body is at 137 (give or take)'s been like this for a while, so much so that it's enough to note it now. My question to the universe is WTF?!?!! You'd think, after all these years the MX brain would be more dominant. I guess not! When we feel like we have fallen off track...the heavy side sneaks out of its hiding spot and sets up camp...kinda like a squatter, until the police come by a... Wed, 10 Jun 2015 12:49:55 EST Self-sabotage UUUUGGHHHH!!!! <em>24</em> <BR> <BR> We have all been there..and done that, now haven't we. <BR> <BR> For like, the gazillionth time too, it seems. <BR> <BR> I'm a big one for analyzing behaviors, especially my own...and I have totally been doing just that. I've been self sabotaging myself left and right....for months. <BR> <BR> Why?? control over things is the first things that come to mind (work related nonsense - that I now can totally brush aside...blessing in disgu... Tue, 26 May 2015 20:12:11 EST The Blue Dress <img src=""> This dress is my maintenance was a victory in 2011 to get into a size 8 bridesmaid dress (you all know how small those things run!) so I made it my Mx gauge dress. The goal: on May 7th each year...try it on and make sure it fits. I'm happy to say, even with being about 5 to 8-10 pounds heavier (averaging 137 right now) still fits! But it's not all "yay me!"...there is room to improv... Thu, 21 May 2015 19:30:11 EST The Boston 5K...a little late <img src=""> Very late and only one pic because I haven't uploaded them yet! Time has a way of getting away with me lately....just how it is right now. was really a great experience. I finally got to me Jenni (AKA OAKBORN on here) and it's like we've met before for some reason!!! Ok...ok....being on Spark and following one another on here and then on FB was probably why, but it sure was neat to meet and do a run together!... Thu, 14 May 2015 19:08:34 EST Intuition/Update I go with my gut.....pretty much all the time. Sometimes, however, there is a battle between the brain and the gut, and it takes a lot to restrain from reacting and let things play out the way they kharmically should. <BR> <BR> "Opportunity seldom knocks twice" is a phrase I believe. The timing of playing the opportunity card does have some weight when it comes to actually doing things....and that's when my gut usually kicks in. <BR> <BR> Now...while things are playing out....trying not t... Tue, 7 Apr 2015 06:45:38 EST Recovery It's the 22 of March and boy....has it been "FUN!" (Notice how "fun"is in quotation marks.) <BR> <BR> February was waaaay better when it came to exercise - cardio kickboxing was awesome, then a snowstorm hit, and then March came in like a lion and that was that... My evenings became crazy with helping with the evening run arounds for Basketball, Music rehearsals, Football registrations, Scouts, et al...and something had to give....which was me going at night to exercise because I was just d... Sat, 21 Mar 2015 06:50:35 EST Surrender What a very "50 Shades of Gray" title! LMAO!!! <BR> <BR> But it's not where I'm going at all..... um... weeeeellll... ok... well..... ummmm... no... wellll... sort of?... maybe?..... lol Let's just keep moving on, shall we? LoL <BR> <BR> I was running on the treadmill yesterday, the first in about 2 weeks...but I've been doing combat cardio kickboxing at least twice a week, so I was interested as to how the "new-found" muscles were going to work... so I was just going to see if I could ... Sun, 1 Mar 2015 06:36:00 EST Feeling young I feel SO much younger than my age....I work with people my age and for some reason, they seeeeeeem so much older.... and I feel so much more younger and inexperienced 80% of the time. Maybe that is the key - the experience for where I am at right now. But if you think about it.....I actually have a ton of it and am just selling myself short. <BR> <BR> That's what I do all the time: sell myself short. <BR> <BR> I think a lot of people do's a total hang up that we have to get ove... Fri, 20 Feb 2015 06:09:51 EST Intuition & Valentine's Day I am a BIG believer in intuition. It takes time, though...on finding it, trusting it, learning from NOT listening to it (sometimes hard lessons are learned that way), and analyzing the bajeezus out of that inner voice we all have and need to hear. <BR> <BR> Why am I bringing this subject up now? Well, intuitively I know that it's time! <em>246</em> <BR> <BR> Just kidding.....but THAT is funny stuff right there! <em>246</em> <BR> <BR> Actually, I had a week where I had bells going... Sat, 14 Feb 2015 08:00:16 EST 7th Sparkyear <em>507</em> + <em>504</em> <BR> <em>334</em> <em>252</em> <em>244</em> <BR> <BR> Every Sparkiversary I try and take the time to blog....and this year is no different. Well, except that I remembered it was today, um, yesterday..and today I almost completely forgot until I saw my old status! <em>246</em> <BR> <BR> <BR> Seven years ago I was turning fast forward and I am going to be turning 42! and I guess we can say that age is setting in!! LoL <BR> <BR> Wow...... Sat, 7 Feb 2015 09:16:38 EST Home sick...been an "off" week The snow reeeeeeallly has got to go! <BR> <BR> It was good up until.... oooohhhh, Sunday...and now I am done. <BR> <BR> I do a lot of behind the scenes stuff at work to coordinate people, so at this point, I am tired. <BR> <BR> More tired than I thought because I just got the chills and a fever. <BR> <BR> Looks to be a quick acting virus....but still, I thought the initial chill on Monday night was a draft...and totally didn't listen to my yawning at work until it was toooooo Wed, 4 Feb 2015 16:52:07 EST