ANNIEONLI's SparkPeople Blog ANNIEONLI's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Dear self.... Hello self! I have to write this to you because maybe you will remember it if you ever go back and read it: You work out better on your own terms....and when you put yourself first for the greater good of all. <BR> <BR> You've tried the class thing ---- it was fun while it lasted. The Murphy's law of "you just paid and now you got sick and didn't go and wasted all your money" thing is over and done with...move on. <BR> <BR> You've tried the "prep for the event" thing...and it's pressure..... Wed, 8 Jul 2015 21:09:53 EST Mental yup...I'm doing a blog from my app because I need a reality check. My head is at 187 pounds while my body is at 137 (give or take)'s been like this for a while, so much so that it's enough to note it now. My question to the universe is WTF?!?!! You'd think, after all these years the MX brain would be more dominant. I guess not! When we feel like we have fallen off track...the heavy side sneaks out of its hiding spot and sets up camp...kinda like a squatter, until the police come by a... Wed, 10 Jun 2015 12:49:55 EST Self-sabotage UUUUGGHHHH!!!! <em>24</em> <BR> <BR> We have all been there..and done that, now haven't we. <BR> <BR> For like, the gazillionth time too, it seems. <BR> <BR> I'm a big one for analyzing behaviors, especially my own...and I have totally been doing just that. I've been self sabotaging myself left and right....for months. <BR> <BR> Why?? control over things is the first things that come to mind (work related nonsense - that I now can totally brush aside...blessing in disgu... Tue, 26 May 2015 20:12:11 EST The Blue Dress <img src=""> This dress is my maintenance was a victory in 2011 to get into a size 8 bridesmaid dress (you all know how small those things run!) so I made it my Mx gauge dress. The goal: on May 7th each year...try it on and make sure it fits. I'm happy to say, even with being about 5 to 8-10 pounds heavier (averaging 137 right now) still fits! But it's not all "yay me!"...there is room to improv... Thu, 21 May 2015 19:30:11 EST The Boston 5K...a little late <img src=""> Very late and only one pic because I haven't uploaded them yet! Time has a way of getting away with me lately....just how it is right now. was really a great experience. I finally got to me Jenni (AKA OAKBORN on here) and it's like we've met before for some reason!!! Ok...ok....being on Spark and following one another on here and then on FB was probably why, but it sure was neat to meet and do a run together!... Thu, 14 May 2015 19:08:34 EST Intuition/Update I go with my gut.....pretty much all the time. Sometimes, however, there is a battle between the brain and the gut, and it takes a lot to restrain from reacting and let things play out the way they kharmically should. <BR> <BR> "Opportunity seldom knocks twice" is a phrase I believe. The timing of playing the opportunity card does have some weight when it comes to actually doing things....and that's when my gut usually kicks in. <BR> <BR> Now...while things are playing out....trying not t... Tue, 7 Apr 2015 06:45:38 EST Recovery It's the 22 of March and boy....has it been "FUN!" (Notice how "fun"is in quotation marks.) <BR> <BR> February was waaaay better when it came to exercise - cardio kickboxing was awesome, then a snowstorm hit, and then March came in like a lion and that was that... My evenings became crazy with helping with the evening run arounds for Basketball, Music rehearsals, Football registrations, Scouts, et al...and something had to give....which was me going at night to exercise because I was just d... Sat, 21 Mar 2015 06:50:35 EST Surrender What a very "50 Shades of Gray" title! LMAO!!! <BR> <BR> But it's not where I'm going at all..... um... weeeeellll... ok... well..... ummmm... no... wellll... sort of?... maybe?..... lol Let's just keep moving on, shall we? LoL <BR> <BR> I was running on the treadmill yesterday, the first in about 2 weeks...but I've been doing combat cardio kickboxing at least twice a week, so I was interested as to how the "new-found" muscles were going to work... so I was just going to see if I could ... Sun, 1 Mar 2015 06:36:00 EST Feeling young I feel SO much younger than my age....I work with people my age and for some reason, they seeeeeeem so much older.... and I feel so much more younger and inexperienced 80% of the time. Maybe that is the key - the experience for where I am at right now. But if you think about it.....I actually have a ton of it and am just selling myself short. <BR> <BR> That's what I do all the time: sell myself short. <BR> <BR> I think a lot of people do's a total hang up that we have to get ove... Fri, 20 Feb 2015 06:09:51 EST Intuition & Valentine's Day I am a BIG believer in intuition. It takes time, though...on finding it, trusting it, learning from NOT listening to it (sometimes hard lessons are learned that way), and analyzing the bajeezus out of that inner voice we all have and need to hear. <BR> <BR> Why am I bringing this subject up now? Well, intuitively I know that it's time! <em>246</em> <BR> <BR> Just kidding.....but THAT is funny stuff right there! <em>246</em> <BR> <BR> Actually, I had a week where I had bells going... Sat, 14 Feb 2015 08:00:16 EST 7th Sparkyear <em>507</em> + <em>504</em> <BR> <em>334</em> <em>252</em> <em>244</em> <BR> <BR> Every Sparkiversary I try and take the time to blog....and this year is no different. Well, except that I remembered it was today, um, yesterday..and today I almost completely forgot until I saw my old status! <em>246</em> <BR> <BR> <BR> Seven years ago I was turning fast forward and I am going to be turning 42! and I guess we can say that age is setting in!! LoL <BR> <BR> Wow...... Sat, 7 Feb 2015 09:16:38 EST Home sick...been an "off" week The snow reeeeeeallly has got to go! <BR> <BR> It was good up until.... oooohhhh, Sunday...and now I am done. <BR> <BR> I do a lot of behind the scenes stuff at work to coordinate people, so at this point, I am tired. <BR> <BR> More tired than I thought because I just got the chills and a fever. <BR> <BR> Looks to be a quick acting virus....but still, I thought the initial chill on Monday night was a draft...and totally didn't listen to my yawning at work until it was toooooo Wed, 4 Feb 2015 16:52:07 EST With coffee in hand... It's 6 am here in NY right now....and snow/rain/ick is falling outside this LOVELY morning. <BR> <BR> It's just me and my cuppa coffee in hand in the silence of the house, surfing the web (OK, not the web, really just Spark and Facebook) and observing what other people put out there into the universe. <BR> <BR> My contribution today is this: The recap blog <BR> <BR> <em>38</em> My "What ifs" mindset really has been a nice thing to have's more about thinking twice before doi... Sat, 24 Jan 2015 06:42:24 EST What if.... The phrase "What if...." has bopped around my brain since the beginning of the year, so there must be a reason right? <BR> <BR> For example: What if I got my exercise clothes on after work? <BR> <BR> Yup...perfect example. Because when I thought the thought, and then did the action, the result was "I would exercise" ---almost a forced fulfillment action because let's face it, y'all know by now that I am not a great consistent exerciser! <BR> <BR> The next "what if" that lined up wou... Sun, 18 Jan 2015 06:55:55 EST "You did this to me" <em>40</em> Say WHAT? <BR> <BR> The title came from a conversation I just had with my 12 year old son on Thursday. I was in my room, needing to change out of work clothes and into my workout clothes because dammit, I was going to do SOMEthing that night! LoL....and he followed me in talking the whole time about his day and the kids at school and all things we need to hear as a parent. Good stuff...which is good, but c'mon honey! I have GOT to change! <BR> <BR> In my world, they can s... Sat, 17 Jan 2015 17:15:55 EST An app blog! Look at that! trying this app blog thingy out right now....let's see how it goes! Well...the week has been aok with exercise... Got back into just getting my gear on and doing it! The other night was at 9:00pm. Not the greatest sleep after the great workout, but I got it done! And Holy cow I was so beat the next day until noon! So today was another workout day and I changed it up: the kids joined in too! Basically calisthenics in the living room - never have I ever done 150 jumping jacks!!! LoL and 100 ... Thu, 15 Jan 2015 21:24:57 EST An April date I woke up this morning at 5am....feeling more normal than I have in the past month really....the last 2 weeks I have had a head cold that really was crappy and's finally breaking up. I just thank the gods that I did not have the flu, so the head cold, I would gladly deal with! <BR> <BR> The first person that popped into my head was my Sparkbuddy Jenni (aka OAKBORN) <BR> <BR> We are going to finally meet - face to face - in April of this year! <BR> <BR> We have been spark... Sat, 10 Jan 2015 06:38:22 EST 3rd deleted blog of the night Yup...I deleted 3 so far. <BR> <BR> All were a mish-mosh of thoughts and feelings...none of which are all that wonderful....or inspiring....or awesome in any particular way. <BR> <BR> Mostly, they were kinda bummy....all because of the simple fact that when I came home, no one wanted to hear about my day. <BR> <BR> We had dinner right away...I walked in the door, it was there..ready to eat because hubby had to go drop off and pick up the boys.... so in all that hub-bub, the telling of my d... Thu, 8 Jan 2015 21:28:52 EST Closing out 2014 & Welcome new Sparkers!! Our plans for the Eve have fallen through...last year, I was sick...this year, my sister we cancelled the gathering. <BR> <BR> And that is OK because I had something brewing the last 2 days and as of right seems to be on its way out....I'm thinking it's thanks to all my water, tea with honey, and soup, and relaxing this past week....and to looking forward to going away this weekend. <BR> <BR> Right now...we are all in our pjs at 7:30 - the hubby is planning on going to bed ... Wed, 31 Dec 2014 20:00:03 EST The Aftermath, part 2: The realization Weird that things have calmed down so quickly in relation to the gas and bloating....the distress is almost gone...and I am truly thinking it had more to do with my nerves and crazy stress hormones going off than anything else. <BR> <BR> I even read an interesting part of a book that honed into how the season and the body would normally react, but as humans....we basically kick any hibernation and cozy thoughts to the curb this time of year in order to get stuff done. Yup, I fell into that ... Tue, 30 Dec 2014 19:36:52 EST The Aftermath, Part 1: the Lull The holiday aftermath....we have hit the lull in between the holidays here, where my bloated gas-filled body does not feel my own and I am reaching for the comfy stretchy pants in my closet. It's been a full-on, eat this, get gas, expel gas, eat this get more gas, expel gas kind of a week for me. <em>15</em> <em>2</em> <em>15</em> <em>2</em> <em>15</em> <em>24</em> <BR> <BR> Really attractive. <em>15</em> <BR> <BR> Even my kids are like, "Mom, what the heck is wron... Sun, 28 Dec 2014 16:52:17 EST Holiday kick-off begins!!! With Hanukkah! <em>500</em> <em>499</em> and we are not even Jewish! <BR> Yup...tonight we celebrate Hanukkah with our adopted Jewish grandparents....because 7 years ago, they invited us over and it became a tradition in our family, and as long as they live near us, we will be celebrating with them! It really is nice...all I have to supply is a clean house and they bring the food's actually here in the fridge because it's all pre-made and frozen from one of Bubbie's marath... Sat, 13 Dec 2014 07:19:59 EST Too much of a good thing... Ahhhh....Kashi. <BR> <BR> Depending on the food product chosen from that particular brand, it can be great <em>334</em> or it can be bad <em>39</em> <em>24</em> <em>15</em> <BR> You get my drift. <BR> <BR> I've run into this before, so why am I so surprised!?!? Because this was a new product for me...and I was so excited to have a healthy snack bar for work.... <BR> <BR> So today, I brought my whole sale club's worth of snack bars to work and had one at 10 am. <BR> <BR> ... Mon, 24 Nov 2014 20:21:00 EST The white flag I joke about raising a little white flag of surrender when things get too crazy, busy, chaotic. <BR> <BR> I even do a little motion with my hands and my fingers raise a teeny tiny imaginary rope to raise the teeny tiny white flag up a teeny tiny flag pole. <BR> <BR> Go ahead and admit it - I know if you are reading this you just tried it yourself. <em>211</em> <BR> <BR> But that is what I do and I say to people when they seem as stressed out as me... my girlfriend did it the other da... Sat, 15 Nov 2014 07:31:48 EST Once upon a blog... I wrote one last Saturday....then I deleted it. <BR> <BR> I wrote another the week before that....and then I deleted it. <BR> <BR> I start to wonder why at this point....the whole deleting thing. <BR> <BR> The writing thing has a lot to do with change, unsticking oneself so as to see another angle after the words are out there and on the "page"...but my angle has really changed in the last few months for some reason or another. <BR> <BR> I find myself in that typical 9 to 5 job...with the... Tue, 28 Oct 2014 23:53:13 EST Moving on Yesterday was an emotional day for me....because after a year and a half of closing the office I ran for my father... the office was dismantled for reconfiguration and change. <BR> <BR> And change is good.....but at the same time, when I was cleaning up the things that have basically sat for a year, as if time stood still, I found things that brought back memories from my life 2 years ago...and it made me cry. <BR> <BR> My dad found me in the bathroom crying...and patted me on the back. My... Sun, 19 Oct 2014 07:08:16 EST Sensitivity/New & Good news I am truly amazed at how sensitive I am, depending on how I care for one little comment can send me into a spiral of negative self-talk and self-abuse. <BR> <BR> This week...was a really good week. Life affirming even. <BR> <BR> So why is that one stupid comment from one stupid person can make that all come crashing down? <BR> <BR> Why is it that I have to pick up every single piece off the ground again even after such an awesome week? <BR> <BR> I know I will tel... Sat, 4 Oct 2014 07:27:55 EST My Weight loss brain vs. my Mx brain There are 2 distinct brains that are going on here: the weight loss brain and the Maintenance (Mx) brain (forgive the shorthand, but I use it constantly at work - might as well introduce it here to everyone since writing it out is a pain in the butt sometimes.) <BR> <BR> I am currently trying to get back into my Mx range of 130-135 but something dawned on me that I was in the wrong mindset in trying to get back there - weighing every day and expecting to see that change is a Mx mindset link... Sat, 13 Sep 2014 09:14:47 EST Twitch begone! Would you believe it that the twitch I wrote about a few days back is on its way out? Noticeably changed....almost nonexistent! <BR> <em>244</em> <BR> <BR> So what was the change? <BR> <em>273</em> a vitamin a day - I actually felt in my gut that I was lacking something and that vitamins was it, especially since I have been off with my eating lately. It seems I was right! Immediately notices a change. Coincidence? I think not! <BR> <BR> <em>91</em> hydration - making sure I ... Thu, 28 Aug 2014 21:28:05 EST The twitch The twitch started last Thursday. It's a neck thing, that is the only way I can describe it, and it does catch me off guard at times, but I am pretty sure it is stress related.....and I am monitoring it, so no...I have not gone to a doctor yet.... but don't worry, I will if it continues... but first.... <BR> <BR> First I have to analyze what is going on in my world, because usually, stress gives me a pain in the neck with stiff muscles...and this is in the same area, so that's why I am not... Tue, 26 Aug 2014 19:22:01 EST The small things Just when you think it's safe to go back in the water..... <BR> <BR> Just when you think the good week you are rocking is going to continue as such... <BR> <BR> <em>530</em> You get a "reality" check that makes you doubt and kick yourself down to the curb..... <BR> <BR> but then...... <BR> <BR> Out of the blue, you get a compliment that was unexpected, and you hold onto it for dear life as that one positive thing that can float you along for a little bit because, for some reason, yo... Thu, 7 Aug 2014 05:56:22 EST There is no magic pill Ugh.... diet drinks. <BR> <BR> Hi everyone, my name is ___________, and if you buy my magic diet drink, you too can look like this in 30 days! <BR> <BR> Ugh.... supplements. <BR> <BR> Hi everyone, my name is __________, and this brand supplement drink shake___________ will help you lose adipose tissue. <BR> <BR> Ugh... vitamin pills. <BR> <BR> Hi everyone, my name is ________, and if you take these 4 vitamin pills of these various plant extracts, you too can loose adipose tissue. <BR> ... Thu, 31 Jul 2014 06:22:12 EST Twenty five years & order among chaos Sunday is the 25th Anniversary of my Mom's death. <em>39</em> <BR> <BR> In years past, depending on how life was going, my siblings and I would have a really crappy week right before the anniversary date.... it would fluctuate between all of us who would get the crap end of the stick that year ( like last year, it came and went and I barely noticed) but for some reason, this year is a doozy for me. <BR> <BR> Bad mood. <em>39</em> <BR> Neck ache that won't go away. <em>24</em> <B... Fri, 25 Jul 2014 06:17:26 EST Seven years Seven years is this magic amount of time...."they" say it takes 7 years for all of your cells in your body to change/regenerate and that basically you have a whole new you every 7 years... and "they" it takes 7 years for someone who lost a loved one to move on. <BR> <BR> It makes sense if you actually think about them being tied together in some way. <BR> <BR> Basically, this 2 theories are what I have "believe" and have noticed in my own life, so therefore, I have absolutely no problem pa... Thu, 17 Jul 2014 06:26:53 EST Don't interrupt me when I am hangry <em>4</em> <BR> I WILL bite your head off. <BR> <BR> At 3:30 today...I was getting hungry..tummy grumbled, grabbed a few nuts real quick, drank some water. I had 1 hour to go until I went home to try and figure out what to eat, but the hunger wheels had already started to turn, and I looked up a few takeout menus by 4:00 and pretty much decided on a fresh Mexican place for a homemade burrito (without rice in it - just fresh stuff, so yummy! and I hadn't had it in years...) <BR> <BR> At ... Mon, 7 Jul 2014 19:25:13 EST Happy 5th of July!!! <em>232</em> <em>283</em> <em>195</em> <BR> <BR> The weather was horrific and very I have decided to redo the my own way. <BR> <BR> I have been eating way better the last week and yesterday went off the usual....because it was a holiday....and by the time I hit the 6th helping of chips and dip (white bean dip that I made myself btw) .... I knew the day was going to end up with me having gastrointestinal issues. <BR> <BR> Add a bloody Mary to that ... Sat, 5 Jul 2014 07:19:32 EST Silence is loud sometimes. is day 3 of the most quiet this house has ever been since the family went on vacation without me. (Ewe!!! that sounds so sad and pathetic!!! but it's it in a nutshell, right?) <BR> <BR> I woke up at 4 am moving by 5 am...working out and running on the treadmill by 5:30 and listening to my lecture series for school. <BR> <BR> Yesterday and the day before were rest days since the weekend was so active and fun-filled. And I am serious about that one....the weekend I ... Wed, 2 Jul 2014 19:38:07 EST Surprise yourself I might be simple minded sometimes when it comes to fitness... my goal/thinking: just do something - ANYthing - because it is better than nothing! <em>246</em> <BR> <BR> And the other simple fact that we ALL forget from time to time when we are in a exercise rut - lull - hiatus - justdontwannadoitbecauselifeistodamncrazyr<BR>ightnow: it FEELS GOOD when you actually finish!! even if it is just the smallest thing like gardening! The body needs to move...why else would we have muscles? r... Sun, 29 Jun 2014 07:49:13 EST When my arms continue to wave good-bye It's been weird lately... I turned 41 and I just started noticing my loose skin more. When I wave and under arm skin keeps waving! LOL <em>213</em> <BR> <BR> Let me back-track a bit: For the next 10 (now 9) days...I am by myself. No family. No hubby. No kids. No set plans except for work. They have gone to have a summer adventure road trip without me because of my new job...and while I was a bit bummed on Wed of last week, and the kids and I shed some tears here and there over... Sun, 29 Jun 2014 06:04:53 EST Off Balance In studying for my health coaching certification, one thing we talk about constantly is balance. <BR> <BR> Balance of energy, balance of food, balance in relationships....etc.etc.etc. <BR> <BR> So when yesterday hit me with an off-balance situation, it was just the perfect storm to get me pissed. The kind of pissed where I start cursing like a truck driver (known to happen on occasion - ok, often enough - but this time was like the Hoover damn exploded).... and it carried over into my ev... Wed, 25 Jun 2014 05:43:46 EST A "back to track" kinda week I think I have mentioned it before...maybe a bazillion times now....well, that tracking my nutrition is one of the main secrets to getting things back on track and under control. And after 4 days, here I am again to shout out that truth to the world once again! <BR> <BR> There is just something about getting back to things that "work". <BR> <BR> And with that, and my grumpy mood yesterday, I got back to sweating by hitting a heavy bag in the basement. Part of it was to get the grumps out... Thu, 22 May 2014 21:34:59 EST Fear of being "out" Spark is the only place I am "out" as being heavy here on the world wide web. And even here...I have an alias as "ANNIE" because when I started, I was ashamed and was still hiding - just in case I failed at weigh loss once again. <BR> <BR> Facebook - I joined in 2008 when I was 30 pounds down...and the other 20 pounds lost was very gradual that no one truly noticed or commented about it in pics...and here is where my real name is plastered everywhere, but the pics are from 2008 onward...I a... Sun, 18 May 2014 07:11:53 EST Quick reassessment In the last 3 weeks....I have gained 3 solid pounds. (I know, I know - STFU skinny beeootch....but if you read my page, you know where I am coming go read it if you haven't). <BR> <BR> And I know exactly why... stress (that brought about an lovely eye twitch).... stress... and oh, um....stress! <BR> <BR> That and not taking enough time for myself. <BR> <BR> Stretching myself thin over work and family extracurriculars (lacrosse and baseball have strated! yay - and hubby does a ... Tue, 22 Apr 2014 07:55:13 EST Living with decisions Every single day, we make decisions. <BR> <BR> Some, of course, are easier than others. <BR> <BR> Some need to be weighed with pros and cons. <BR> <BR> Ultimately we live with those decisions - and the repercussions can either be short lived or long term.... but decisions are what we do everyday, nonetheless. <BR> <BR> Not everyone is always going to be happy with the decisions we make all the time, but sometimes, in a pinch, they have to be made, whether you want to make them or Tue, 25 Mar 2014 08:06:08 EST Time flies by... Well holy cow...the last time I blogged was about a rough patch and that was at the beginning of MARCH! 2+ weeks has flown by and with that, the rough patch too, as life always proves, that this too shall pass.....and things are all status quo here in my world: spring sports start today for the kids, projects are needing to be started for the yard and such, tax season is here upon us and that brings a whole other set of fun! Basically as a family, we are booked solid with weekend activities ... Sun, 23 Mar 2014 09:41:41 EST Rough patch and I will not lie....I even read my last blog about "who takes care of you" and it just goes to show that nobody is perfect when it comes to that. <BR> <BR> This week has been a rough one (and it's only Wednesday)... emotionally draining too. Goes to show how much you are affected by outside energy because you actually care about people, even if they really don't give a hoot about you...or even like you. <BR> <BR> <em>24</em> Meh...moving on. It's all part of the game, I guess. <BR> ... Wed, 5 Mar 2014 05:36:35 EST Who takes care of you? Seriously. Who does? Who ultimately does? <BR> <BR> You....that's who. <BR> <BR> Your kids (if you have) - rely on you. <BR> <BR> Your significant other (if you have one) - supports you in that effort (at least that is what they SHOULD do, right?) <BR> <BR> So it really, ultimately, falls onto YOU. <BR> <BR> <em>40</em> <BR> Yeah....deep stuff, huh? <BR> <BR> And that is where we get overwhelmed with... well... everything! Geez, when we think about it that way, let's just crawl b... Sat, 15 Feb 2014 06:23:04 EST 2008 was when it all began... Indeed....2008 was when I cut off my long, curly hair at the salon... it was when I looked in the mirror and said "Enough is enough - you deserve to treat yourself better than this." and that was the day I joined Sparkpeople and have been here ever since. <BR> <BR> My stats are on my page....I won't ever take them off. <BR> 187 start weight - Feb 7, 2008 <BR> 150 - goal weight - achieved 6 months later and maintained for a year. Nov 2008. <BR> 140 - achieved after I got to know the new me ... Fri, 7 Feb 2014 05:54:30 EST Down and Out Well, yesterday, I was greeted with a number I haven't seen in 2 years.... 129 lbs. <BR> <BR> The last time I was there, I was exiting a maintenance overhaul (tracking nutrition & fitness to get back on track) and it was my littlest sister's wedding and I will openly admit it...I was stressed, but actually eating and drinking (wine) a lot, but the number appeared and I even went down to 127..but to maintain that was very short lived. <BR> <BR> I don't consider myself even wanting to be in t... Sat, 1 Feb 2014 20:43:21 EST Early morning musings It is 4a.m. and I am awake.... <BR> <em>527</em> I have a stuffy nose and wanted some decaf tea with honey. <BR> Some rest and I should be good to go for next week. <em>41</em> <BR> <BR> that you know I am honking my schnoz into a tissue while germing up my keyboard, we can move on now. <em>211</em> <BR> <BR> It's been 10 weeks since I started my Health Coaching Course and I can honestly say that I have learned a lot. Honestly, more about myself and oth... Sat, 25 Jan 2014 04:38:27 EST