ANNIEONLI's SparkPeople Blog ANNIEONLI's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Moving on Yesterday was an emotional day for me....because after a year and a half of closing the office I ran for my father... the office was dismantled for reconfiguration and change. <BR> <BR> And change is good.....but at the same time, when I was cleaning up the things that have basically sat for a year, as if time stood still, I found things that brought back memories from my life 2 years ago...and it made me cry. <BR> <BR> My dad found me in the bathroom crying...and patted me on the back. My... Sun, 19 Oct 2014 07:08:16 EST Sensitivity/New & Good news I am truly amazed at how sensitive I am, depending on how I care for one little comment can send me into a spiral of negative self-talk and self-abuse. <BR> <BR> This week...was a really good week. Life affirming even. <BR> <BR> So why is that one stupid comment from one stupid person can make that all come crashing down? <BR> <BR> Why is it that I have to pick up every single piece off the ground again even after such an awesome week? <BR> <BR> I know I will tel... Sat, 4 Oct 2014 07:27:55 EST My Weight loss brain vs. my Mx brain There are 2 distinct brains that are going on here: the weight loss brain and the Maintenance (Mx) brain (forgive the shorthand, but I use it constantly at work - might as well introduce it here to everyone since writing it out is a pain in the butt sometimes.) <BR> <BR> I am currently trying to get back into my Mx range of 130-135 but something dawned on me that I was in the wrong mindset in trying to get back there - weighing every day and expecting to see that change is a Mx mindset link... Sat, 13 Sep 2014 09:14:47 EST Twitch begone! Would you believe it that the twitch I wrote about a few days back is on its way out? Noticeably changed....almost nonexistent! <BR> <em>244</em> <BR> <BR> So what was the change? <BR> <em>273</em> a vitamin a day - I actually felt in my gut that I was lacking something and that vitamins was it, especially since I have been off with my eating lately. It seems I was right! Immediately notices a change. Coincidence? I think not! <BR> <BR> <em>91</em> hydration - making sure I ... Thu, 28 Aug 2014 21:28:05 EST The twitch The twitch started last Thursday. It's a neck thing, that is the only way I can describe it, and it does catch me off guard at times, but I am pretty sure it is stress related.....and I am monitoring it, so no...I have not gone to a doctor yet.... but don't worry, I will if it continues... but first.... <BR> <BR> First I have to analyze what is going on in my world, because usually, stress gives me a pain in the neck with stiff muscles...and this is in the same area, so that's why I am not... Tue, 26 Aug 2014 19:22:01 EST The small things Just when you think it's safe to go back in the water..... <BR> <BR> Just when you think the good week you are rocking is going to continue as such... <BR> <BR> <em>530</em> You get a "reality" check that makes you doubt and kick yourself down to the curb..... <BR> <BR> but then...... <BR> <BR> Out of the blue, you get a compliment that was unexpected, and you hold onto it for dear life as that one positive thing that can float you along for a little bit because, for some reason, yo... Thu, 7 Aug 2014 05:56:22 EST There is no magic pill Ugh.... diet drinks. <BR> <BR> Hi everyone, my name is ___________, and if you buy my magic diet drink, you too can look like this in 30 days! <BR> <BR> Ugh.... supplements. <BR> <BR> Hi everyone, my name is __________, and this brand supplement drink shake___________ will help you lose adipose tissue. <BR> <BR> Ugh... vitamin pills. <BR> <BR> Hi everyone, my name is ________, and if you take these 4 vitamin pills of these various plant extracts, you too can loose adipose tissue. <BR> ... Thu, 31 Jul 2014 06:22:12 EST Twenty five years & order among chaos Sunday is the 25th Anniversary of my Mom's death. <em>39</em> <BR> <BR> In years past, depending on how life was going, my siblings and I would have a really crappy week right before the anniversary date.... it would fluctuate between all of us who would get the crap end of the stick that year ( like last year, it came and went and I barely noticed) but for some reason, this year is a doozy for me. <BR> <BR> Bad mood. <em>39</em> <BR> Neck ache that won't go away. <em>24</em> <B... Fri, 25 Jul 2014 06:17:26 EST Seven years Seven years is this magic amount of time...."they" say it takes 7 years for all of your cells in your body to change/regenerate and that basically you have a whole new you every 7 years... and "they" it takes 7 years for someone who lost a loved one to move on. <BR> <BR> It makes sense if you actually think about them being tied together in some way. <BR> <BR> Basically, this 2 theories are what I have "believe" and have noticed in my own life, so therefore, I have absolutely no problem pa... Thu, 17 Jul 2014 06:26:53 EST Don't interrupt me when I am hangry <em>4</em> <BR> I WILL bite your head off. <BR> <BR> At 3:30 today...I was getting hungry..tummy grumbled, grabbed a few nuts real quick, drank some water. I had 1 hour to go until I went home to try and figure out what to eat, but the hunger wheels had already started to turn, and I looked up a few takeout menus by 4:00 and pretty much decided on a fresh Mexican place for a homemade burrito (without rice in it - just fresh stuff, so yummy! and I hadn't had it in years...) <BR> <BR> At ... Mon, 7 Jul 2014 19:25:13 EST Happy 5th of July!!! <em>232</em> <em>283</em> <em>195</em> <BR> <BR> The weather was horrific and very I have decided to redo the my own way. <BR> <BR> I have been eating way better the last week and yesterday went off the usual....because it was a holiday....and by the time I hit the 6th helping of chips and dip (white bean dip that I made myself btw) .... I knew the day was going to end up with me having gastrointestinal issues. <BR> <BR> Add a bloody Mary to that ... Sat, 5 Jul 2014 07:19:32 EST Silence is loud sometimes. is day 3 of the most quiet this house has ever been since the family went on vacation without me. (Ewe!!! that sounds so sad and pathetic!!! but it's it in a nutshell, right?) <BR> <BR> I woke up at 4 am moving by 5 am...working out and running on the treadmill by 5:30 and listening to my lecture series for school. <BR> <BR> Yesterday and the day before were rest days since the weekend was so active and fun-filled. And I am serious about that one....the weekend I ... Wed, 2 Jul 2014 19:38:07 EST Surprise yourself I might be simple minded sometimes when it comes to fitness... my goal/thinking: just do something - ANYthing - because it is better than nothing! <em>246</em> <BR> <BR> And the other simple fact that we ALL forget from time to time when we are in a exercise rut - lull - hiatus - justdontwannadoitbecauselifeistodamncrazyr<BR>ightnow: it FEELS GOOD when you actually finish!! even if it is just the smallest thing like gardening! The body needs to move...why else would we have muscles? r... Sun, 29 Jun 2014 07:49:13 EST When my arms continue to wave good-bye It's been weird lately... I turned 41 and I just started noticing my loose skin more. When I wave and under arm skin keeps waving! LOL <em>213</em> <BR> <BR> Let me back-track a bit: For the next 10 (now 9) days...I am by myself. No family. No hubby. No kids. No set plans except for work. They have gone to have a summer adventure road trip without me because of my new job...and while I was a bit bummed on Wed of last week, and the kids and I shed some tears here and there over... Sun, 29 Jun 2014 06:04:53 EST Off Balance In studying for my health coaching certification, one thing we talk about constantly is balance. <BR> <BR> Balance of energy, balance of food, balance in relationships....etc.etc.etc. <BR> <BR> So when yesterday hit me with an off-balance situation, it was just the perfect storm to get me pissed. The kind of pissed where I start cursing like a truck driver (known to happen on occasion - ok, often enough - but this time was like the Hoover damn exploded).... and it carried over into my ev... Wed, 25 Jun 2014 05:43:46 EST A "back to track" kinda week I think I have mentioned it before...maybe a bazillion times now....well, that tracking my nutrition is one of the main secrets to getting things back on track and under control. And after 4 days, here I am again to shout out that truth to the world once again! <BR> <BR> There is just something about getting back to things that "work". <BR> <BR> And with that, and my grumpy mood yesterday, I got back to sweating by hitting a heavy bag in the basement. Part of it was to get the grumps out... Thu, 22 May 2014 21:34:59 EST Fear of being "out" Spark is the only place I am "out" as being heavy here on the world wide web. And even here...I have an alias as "ANNIE" because when I started, I was ashamed and was still hiding - just in case I failed at weigh loss once again. <BR> <BR> Facebook - I joined in 2008 when I was 30 pounds down...and the other 20 pounds lost was very gradual that no one truly noticed or commented about it in pics...and here is where my real name is plastered everywhere, but the pics are from 2008 onward...I a... Sun, 18 May 2014 07:11:53 EST Quick reassessment In the last 3 weeks....I have gained 3 solid pounds. (I know, I know - STFU skinny beeootch....but if you read my page, you know where I am coming go read it if you haven't). <BR> <BR> And I know exactly why... stress (that brought about an lovely eye twitch).... stress... and oh, um....stress! <BR> <BR> That and not taking enough time for myself. <BR> <BR> Stretching myself thin over work and family extracurriculars (lacrosse and baseball have strated! yay - and hubby does a ... Tue, 22 Apr 2014 07:55:13 EST Living with decisions Every single day, we make decisions. <BR> <BR> Some, of course, are easier than others. <BR> <BR> Some need to be weighed with pros and cons. <BR> <BR> Ultimately we live with those decisions - and the repercussions can either be short lived or long term.... but decisions are what we do everyday, nonetheless. <BR> <BR> Not everyone is always going to be happy with the decisions we make all the time, but sometimes, in a pinch, they have to be made, whether you want to make them or Tue, 25 Mar 2014 08:06:08 EST Time flies by... Well holy cow...the last time I blogged was about a rough patch and that was at the beginning of MARCH! 2+ weeks has flown by and with that, the rough patch too, as life always proves, that this too shall pass.....and things are all status quo here in my world: spring sports start today for the kids, projects are needing to be started for the yard and such, tax season is here upon us and that brings a whole other set of fun! Basically as a family, we are booked solid with weekend activities ... Sun, 23 Mar 2014 09:41:41 EST Rough patch and I will not lie....I even read my last blog about "who takes care of you" and it just goes to show that nobody is perfect when it comes to that. <BR> <BR> This week has been a rough one (and it's only Wednesday)... emotionally draining too. Goes to show how much you are affected by outside energy because you actually care about people, even if they really don't give a hoot about you...or even like you. <BR> <BR> <em>24</em> Meh...moving on. It's all part of the game, I guess. <BR> ... Wed, 5 Mar 2014 05:36:35 EST Who takes care of you? Seriously. Who does? Who ultimately does? <BR> <BR> You....that's who. <BR> <BR> Your kids (if you have) - rely on you. <BR> <BR> Your significant other (if you have one) - supports you in that effort (at least that is what they SHOULD do, right?) <BR> <BR> So it really, ultimately, falls onto YOU. <BR> <BR> <em>40</em> <BR> Yeah....deep stuff, huh? <BR> <BR> And that is where we get overwhelmed with... well... everything! Geez, when we think about it that way, let's just crawl b... Sat, 15 Feb 2014 06:23:04 EST 2008 was when it all began... Indeed....2008 was when I cut off my long, curly hair at the salon... it was when I looked in the mirror and said "Enough is enough - you deserve to treat yourself better than this." and that was the day I joined Sparkpeople and have been here ever since. <BR> <BR> My stats are on my page....I won't ever take them off. <BR> 187 start weight - Feb 7, 2008 <BR> 150 - goal weight - achieved 6 months later and maintained for a year. Nov 2008. <BR> 140 - achieved after I got to know the new me ... Fri, 7 Feb 2014 05:54:30 EST Down and Out Well, yesterday, I was greeted with a number I haven't seen in 2 years.... 129 lbs. <BR> <BR> The last time I was there, I was exiting a maintenance overhaul (tracking nutrition & fitness to get back on track) and it was my littlest sister's wedding and I will openly admit it...I was stressed, but actually eating and drinking (wine) a lot, but the number appeared and I even went down to 127..but to maintain that was very short lived. <BR> <BR> I don't consider myself even wanting to be in t... Sat, 1 Feb 2014 20:43:21 EST Early morning musings It is 4a.m. and I am awake.... <BR> <em>527</em> I have a stuffy nose and wanted some decaf tea with honey. <BR> Some rest and I should be good to go for next week. <em>41</em> <BR> <BR> that you know I am honking my schnoz into a tissue while germing up my keyboard, we can move on now. <em>211</em> <BR> <BR> It's been 10 weeks since I started my Health Coaching Course and I can honestly say that I have learned a lot. Honestly, more about myself and oth... Sat, 25 Jan 2014 04:38:27 EST A "Redo" ??? "A lot of times, we forget to nurture other parts of our lives while focusing on another...we can only fit so many things in, and balance is a hard thing to achieve for SO SO Many... but it is key to becoming the healthier person we can be : MIND, BODY, SPIRIT, RELATIONSHIPS. It's letting go of the past, and being in the NOW. It's forgiving the past and ourselves, not necessarily forgetting, but learning from our mistakes to change our future behavior in the present day." <BR> <BR> I just ... Sat, 18 Jan 2014 05:50:04 EST First full work week... was AwEsOme!!!!! <em>334</em> <BR> <BR> Sure...I was in meetings all day training....and my brain turned to tapioca by Wedesday...but overall...HaPpInEsS!!! <em>334</em> <BR> <BR> The week went fast most of the time...there were a few lulls here and there because the facility is gearing up for the incoming students (I work at a college now...just in case I didn't mention it before....or ever. LOL) and I am in a time crunch to train a crew under me and know what the procedures are ... Sat, 11 Jan 2014 06:42:21 EST Calmness I was just about to turn my computer off and get another cup of coffee (since it is 6 am and I have been awake since 5 am) when I wanted to mention Calmness. <BR> <BR> I was super duper worried about starting my new job yesterday - for you see, we are in blizzard mode here on LI and I now have to commute 20 minutes, and I have no key for the building I am going in to, and I don't know where I can eat, or if I can get anything quick to eat if I am late, or if I should wear boots to work and b... Fri, 3 Jan 2014 06:52:46 EST Blog reading & writing I love blogs. To write read them. <BR> <BR> It's one of those cathartic things for me - when it actually hits a chord deep within that says "Hey, I get that" or "I felt the same way, and look at that...I am not alone." <BR> <BR> Blogging it out... "venting" as we called it during our high school lunch session... is important. <BR> <BR> Heck. It helped me get where I am right now in terms of my weight loss. <BR> <BR> True stuff. Because if I didn't, well, then I would be still... Fri, 3 Jan 2014 06:02:19 EST Quick observations I need to note - Merry Christmas too!!! Happy Christmas to those in the UK! <em>446</em> I say that a lot for some reason...and I am not even of British descent. <em>211</em> <BR> <BR> Anyway.... the season certainly brought out a ton of changes over here in my house. For example: I decided that cookie baking is totally overrated - especially when all it does is bring me grief. <BR> <BR> How so, you might ask? Well, you carve out time, to carve out sugar cookies, year after year, host a decorating party, have them hang ... Tue, 24 Dec 2013 08:02:54 EST Gut feelings I am taking my health coaching course and one of the lectures was about being aware, being in sync with just life around you, living in the moment right now, and being aware of opportunities that arise even when you least expect it...because you never know what being present and going with your gut can do for you. <BR> <BR> Well, I have had many many many experiences with this and usually, when I go with my gut...things work out just fine. <BR> <BR> Sometimes, though, going with your gut ... Sun, 22 Dec 2013 08:28:05 EST "What do I FEEL like eating?" I stood in front of the fridge this morning, like any other morning, and sounding like my kids, I said, "What do I feel like eating?" <BR> <BR> It's not a stupid question when you think about it. It's a very basic question that goes right to the heart of the matter: what do you FEEL like...and how are you going to FEEL after you eat something. <BR> <BR> It's quite visceral...and brings in the whole food/mood equation that not too many people are aware about. Basically: what you eat will a... Mon, 4 Nov 2013 09:49:15 EST A day off & being committed I actually have an honest to goodness day off from work today. <BR> <BR> And I can honestly say that it is well deserved, despite the fact that I am off due to lack of appointments at the office! LOL The one office I am working at has been at full throttle since mid-September (which is good for the practice)...but so has my life, and today, is a day of rest....of not working late... of reconnecting with a BFF... of baking some pumpkin stuff for Halloween... of pumpkin carving... of this an... Wed, 30 Oct 2013 07:54:50 EST Reflection on last night's over-eating Yes, I overate. <BR> <BR> On occassion it happens. <BR> <BR> It usually happens at a party or a special occassion because of this one little mental nugget that everyone has and I will share: It's a special occassion and the food is special, and it's here, and it's paid for, because of such & such, and I really have to eat it... and as much as you can. You live to eat instead of eat to live. <BR> <BR> True? oh yeah it is true. <BR> <BR> <em>337</em> Weddings. - Gotta get what you pai... Mon, 21 Oct 2013 09:20:16 EST Finding joy So now that I am back here....I will elaborate on a few things that have been going on in my world over the last few months. Yeah, yeah...I retired an office after 20 years of being there, I was on unemployment for about 2 seconds (Ok, months) and I decided to drop it because it was a p.i.t.a. to play the "claim game" to keep it open "just in case" I was unemployed again within the next year...ridiculous nonsence really IMHO...don't even get me going on the stupidity of how they do things th... Fri, 18 Oct 2013 10:57:23 EST Back to school...for me. So this week, I decided that something "has got to give" in regard to my happiness in life. <BR> <BR> Work is work. <em>24</em> It sure is not what it used to be (how could it be?), and even though I know is still frustrating and sad for me. Transition wise, I have settled in...and things are what they are. I have coursed out the year in fact...but not in a way that makes me happy inside. And for me...THAT is a PROBLEM. <BR> <BR> I have these ideas in my head that will not ... Wed, 16 Oct 2013 08:51:02 EST Things sneak up on me. Things like my three year maintenance anniversary! <BR> <BR> And guess what? I weighed myself this morning and I have crept out of my maintenance range by almost 2 pounds!!! Ironic, isn't it. <em>211</em> <BR> <BR> But the thing is...I know why. The scale crept up on me because I have been stress eating with my hubby...who is also on maintenance for about a year and a half now. The life change that has been going on over the last few months is culminating into the perfect storm now th... Fri, 6 Sep 2013 07:27:56 EST The hustler - yup, that's me! Move it or lose it! Hustle hustle hustle!!! Stagnancy breeds icky things...and mosquitos! <BR> <BR> So with all the "life changes" going on...I decided to really put myself out there and basically tell people what I want career wise... and guess what: I got answered AND another part time job on top of it! <BR> <BR> OK - the tally is this: <BR> June - unemployed <BR> July - interviews & hired as a part timer <BR> August - part time and realizing I can do my own business if I tried (job #2 I... Mon, 19 Aug 2013 09:02:43 EST Quick life update: So here it is Sparkfriends : I like doing what I am doing. I really like it. :) <BR> <BR> I am taking my time, being a little obsessed here and there (reminds me a lot of when I started Sparking in the beginning....I was a little obsessed with reading, learning, tracking, etc.) and the best thing: I KNOW now that I CAN DO THINGS for myself...BY meself...and BE GOOD AT IT! <BR> <BR> This is a huge thing coming from someone who (believe it or not) has the confidence of a gnat. <BR> <BR> I ... Fri, 9 Aug 2013 06:53:14 EST Things take time You'd think I would be an expert at this... understanding the whole "things taking time" concept... but like anyone, I am impatient. <BR> <BR> So I get anxiety. <BR> <BR> So I get wrapped up in my head. <BR> <BR> So I get stressed. <BR> <BR> And while I am in that solitary world of self-inflicted hell... life is really not that bad as it seems, and I am missing out on a beautiful life... beautiful moments that are being passed by.... all because of my anxiousness for things to "get back... Wed, 31 Jul 2013 22:55:07 EST My own thang So this week was a big one. Since a new part time job was not enough fun (aka stressful) - on Monday I decided to become a consultant for a certain product. You know..those in-home party ones. And No, I will no be soliciting on here Spark...that is just rude. I don't like it when I see others doing it, so I am not going to unless someone asks directly...and then it's a web-based retail purchase at that because goodness knows, we are all OVER the place on here! LOL <BR> <BR> Yup, I took t... Thu, 18 Jul 2013 07:07:10 EST Snap out of it!!! What can I say....I'm trying! <BR> <BR> This week was hard. <BR> <BR> Sure, I started a new job with great potential, that is good for my family's schedule, etc. etc...but I (me myself and I) am having a hard time adjusting to life as I know it. <BR> <BR> Crying at the drop of a hat <em>46</em> <BR> <BR> Change of appetite <em>39</em> <em>4</em> I really don't feel like eating <BR> <BR> Gettin flustered easily <em>24</em> <BR> <BR> Worrying constantly about money <em>24... Sat, 13 Jul 2013 09:02:48 EST Breaking the barrier Oh silly as it may seem, I was ecstatic to see the "2" on my scale today....even though it was followed by a ".9" right after it. <em>100</em> <BR> <BR> It's crazy to have the scale dictate our moods as it does...and I am not saying that it does all that much anymore, but when you have struggled with weight for a loooooooong long time, psychologically, it really does matter. <BR> <BR> Yeah, yeah, yeah...It shouldn't - but for a lot of us... it does. <BR> <BR> And here we g... Sat, 6 Jul 2013 07:19:39 EST More decisions made... So yesterday, I went for an interview and I got the job in 20 minutes. There are pros and cons...the biggest pro being that the hours are just right for me and my family right now, the office is nice and in a good location, there is room to grow hour wise and basically if I do that for the office, then I will get the raise I want. Ok, so the con is that I took a pay cut hourly and it is part time. But I am thinking that the pros outweigh the cons here, so I decided to take it right on the ... Thu, 4 Jul 2013 12:02:39 EST Glad of decisions made The other day I wrote about basically being "little Miss Antisocial" because of not wanting to sabotage my efforts for my "detox" . . . and you know what?? I am SO glad I did what I did. <BR> <BR> I am back in range, debloated, feeling more in control instead of the social scene being in control of me, and it really does make a difference on one's psyche. <BR> <BR> I shouldn't be surprised at this since I have done it for so long now, but really, it always does in a way. . . and I also get ... Tue, 2 Jul 2013 08:53:56 EST The Detox Everyone does it in some way or another...and no, I am not talking about a "cleanse" in the literal term that is used today. Detox basically meaning that you go back to the basics of healthy living, and if it means cutting back or not having something for a short amount of time because it helps you out doing that...then yes, that is the detox I am talking about. <BR> <BR> Today, I went to a bridal shower and basically had this conversation with the table but not saying the "d" work until m... Sat, 29 Jun 2013 18:52:30 EST Summer can officially begin....NOW! Hellllllooooooo there Sparkfriends! <BR> <BR> It sure has been a while since you all have heard from me. Since my last blog, I have been ubersuperbusy....which is busy X 10 in my world. And I can honestly say, that between job hunting and such, I am kinda GLAD not to have been working this past month because hoooooweee! It would have been a rough one with a new job thrown on top of it! I just looked at the past month's calendar, and it's just a whole mess of writing and scribble for who g... Mon, 24 Jun 2013 07:22:50 EST Busy busy busy When we closed up shop last week, I was a bit concerned about occupying my time. <BR> <BR> BAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!! <BR> <BR> How silly of me! <em>198</em> <BR> <BR> I haven't stopped since! The kids and everything related to the end of the year have kept me plenty much so that the house is STILL a disaster from last week! No joke! <BR> <BR> So on the rainy rainy day, I am cleaning and decluttering...and picking the kids up at 11:30 because they have a half day today for some rea... Fri, 7 Jun 2013 10:15:26 EST Ohhh the possibilities that await me... Good morning!!! How are ya? I'm great here! <BR> <BR> Oh...and great AND I am now officially unemployed! WOOHOO! <BR> <BR> <em>101</em> <BR> <BR> And no, I have not lost my mind, but rather I am choosing not to be a Debbie-Downer... and to think of all of the possibilities that I have to choose from ahead of me! <BR> <BR> A client said to me last week that I looked "conflicted" when he asked what I was going to do now that I am "retired." I thought that was a good word to use. "C... Fri, 31 May 2013 07:11:14 EST The poundage creep When I was gaining weight back in the day, I could tell you how I felt with every 10 pounds I gained. <BR> <BR> By the time I would hit the single digit placement of a "6" (ie, 156, 166, 176, 186) I was already resign to the fact that it was too late, I was a failure at life in general, and I was already in the next section of the 10's why bother. And with that, year, after year, I gained weight. <BR> <BR> That was how I thought.... much to my mental and physical anguis... Sat, 25 May 2013 08:01:08 EST