ANNIEONLI's SparkPeople Blog ANNIEONLI's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community A message from the past "Self-love is harder to figure out than self-loathing. It's easier to be mean than kind in many cases, and even more so when it comes to ourselves. Self-love takes discipline and acceptance of things we cannot change, and of accepting the challenge to change the things that we can." ~~me <BR> <BR> Yup...I said that in 2011 and wrote it down...and I just came across it again on FB's "on this day" thingy that they I figured I'd share it with you again. I probably wrote it on someone... Wed, 18 Jan 2017 07:16:23 EST You decide your actions Last week I wrote about NSV's and this week I kept up the same routine, but switched things up here and there - like exercise: I added reps and threw some other body-weight exercises into the mix...I'm actually on a streak of 14 days as of yesterday! Watch, now that I wrote that, I just jinxed myself! LoL <em>211</em> In the past, writing down that I did that would mean insta-failure and backtrack to the past, but this time around....let's just state it for a fact that I did that! And it'... Sun, 15 Jan 2017 07:14:22 EST NSV and the "New Year, New You" mindset I might not have lost a pound this week (or maybe I have bc I didn't weigh myself since before the holidays started)...but I will tell you this, I feel better and have a better attitude about life than I had in a long time. It just so happens to coincide with the new year starting, so the big joke around my house and work is the "New Year, new you" motto and it keeps getting batted around with a little bit of sarcasm, and a trace of truth. <BR> <BR> So what have I done? <BR> - I make my be... Sat, 7 Jan 2017 06:25:37 EST Out with the old and in with the new With every new year comes the good intentions, the hope for being better than the previous year....yadda yadda yadda....and then 2 weeks later, the big flop because our good intentions went right out the window with one or two derailing simple and miniscule events, such as skipping a workout or giving into temptation. This inevitably is followed by the standard issue self-loathing and binge eating.. <BR> <BR> Sound familiar? <BR> <BR> That's one of the reasons why I don't do resolutions any... Mon, 2 Jan 2017 07:55:49 EST Remember where you've been <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Now that I'm back in the swing of things again....Sparking, tracking, being more active and feeling more in control that I have in a long time...this morning over coffee, I decided to take a look at my weight tracker from the past 2 weeks...and that went to a year...then two I decided to just check the graph from when I started back in 2008. <BR> <BR> As you can see above, there... Fri, 23 Dec 2016 07:42:36 EST A week gone by... I promised myself I'd blog a bit more, so here is a quick recap of the week of tracking... <BR> <BR> Only 1 day off track and it only went up to 2100 calories..considering that was a party day, it's not too bad. <BR> <BR> I didn't exercise exercise, but I am always running around anyway, but I did do more after work and changed routine with certain things, so I didn't feel like I was in a rut anymore...another good thing! <BR> <BR> I weighed myself everyday (GASP!) but I wanted to see wher... Sun, 18 Dec 2016 08:15:49 EST Where'd you go? I asked that question to myself the other day, because in the last few months, I have felt a little bit like a lost child.....wandering aimlessly in the direction, no breadcrumb trail in sight (although, I might have wound up emotionally eating it at some point, I just couldn't tell you when) <em>198</em> <em>246</em> <BR> <BR> It led me to ponder where I was....and where did I go?? A constant Sparker-lifer lost in the woods who wrote about not disappearing as a success tip... Wed, 14 Dec 2016 05:48:25 EST Spark Premium review <em>252</em> as everyone knows....and have been on here for eons at this point <em>40</em> with no intentions of leaving any time soon <em>334</em> <BR> <BR> So I finally decided to get Spark Premium for a few reasons, the #1 reason being that I'd give back to the site that helped me change my life for the better....and if it came with all they advertised, well...all the more better! <em>250</em> <BR> <BR> Well, I've been on it for a whole 2 days with Premium and I really hav... Sun, 11 Sep 2016 08:57:50 EST And so it begins.... <em>211</em> And so another school year has begun, and this time, it looks like the sports/chauffeur schedule is at an all-time crazy and earlier on than last I will say it now, the feeling I had of being a football widow that normally surfaces in late October is rearing its ugly head now...and the feeling is not pleasant, and it comes with stress and angst, but there is ONE thing that makes it different: I am needed! <BR> <BR> Last year it was all hubby, all the time - he did i... Sat, 10 Sep 2016 09:16:08 EST Will this matter in 5 years? It's a phrase that got stuck in my head on Monday bc I find myself worrying about work more than anything, and my co-worker said something like that last week and it sorta stuck with me. <BR> <BR> So now, when I start worrying about something, I ask myself: will this matter in 5 years? <BR> <BR> Work related: obsessing about getting something done according to MY punctual timeline when, let's face it, the majority of other people take their sweet-arsed time. I'm there almost 3 years and st... Wed, 24 Aug 2016 06:01:18 EST What summer vacation? My coworker and I have a joke going on...we are both in our 40s and work with 20-somethings who constantly ask for permission to go on vacation. <BR> <BR> Yesterday, my coworker calls to me from across the room after a meeting ended "So-and-so over here said the v-word to me just now" and I was quick to respond "what is this v-word that everyone keeps using?!?!?!" <BR> <BR> Because you see, as supervisors, we don't really get to use the v-word that often....him more-so than me. <BR> <BR... Sat, 30 Jul 2016 08:54:29 EST The wide awake blog - the week's recap <em>40</em> 3:30 am.....up since idea why <BR> <BR> So here I am on Spark and reading popular Sparkpeople the My Graph looks like Shark Week by AuntieJ - I can totally get what she wrote......just don't get why the member with blogs about cats and dogs gets featured so much each his own I guess.... <BR> <BR> I've been very active and feeling much better the last week since I decided to get off my rump again and move more consciously...and the deck buil... Fri, 8 Jul 2016 04:05:48 EST Deck building So being that I'm alone for half of this weekend, I'm faced with the whole question of "What are you going to do with all that down time?" and the statements of "That must be great! I'd sleep in, and be at the beach, and hang out!" <BR> <BR> Yeah, those are ideas and all....and I've hung out alone every year, and every year is completely different because honestly? Hanging out at the beach by yourself really isn't that great for hours on's lonely! I know because I've done it! ... Sun, 3 Jul 2016 06:58:03 EST Changed the morning today... I was awake at 3:30am to say goodbye to the hubby and eldest as they began their journey to pick up the 2 younger guys in NC....I was up. <BR> <BR> 4:30am greeted me with a cup of coffee and I went outside to fix the lawn furniture....and the cool morning air was great...and I felt like FINALLY I should get I hit the treadmill at around 5:00am <BR> <BR> And that lasted for a whole 10 minutes. <em>40</em> <BR> <BR> The air outside was calling to me so I went with it! I hop... Fri, 1 Jul 2016 06:21:08 EST Morning routine Coffee.... <BR> <BR> Spark..... <BR> <BR> Coffee.... <BR> <BR> Don't engage until the coffee is in and I'm speaking to you first is a rule I like to tell people. <BR> <BR> It's a simple 6:30 I hit the shower and get ready and by 7:30 I am eating breakfast, getting lunch reasy and by 8am, I'm out the door. (Add kids in there during school and yeah......nope, pretty much the same thing.) <BR> <BR> It's my routine - and try as I may, over umpteen years, there is not a chance... Thu, 30 Jun 2016 06:30:46 EST Enjoy the silence 2 of the boys are in NC, the other one is sleeping, the house is pretty quiet and it's the first day in a looooooong month that we have nowhere pressing to this is what stress-free feels like. <BR> <BR> Going to enjoy it for a few minutes. <BR> <BR> Going to enjoy my coffee a little longer while I type. <BR> <BR> The house is pretty darned clean because we have had people over every other day all last week due to school graduations, people from out of town, and birthday parties. ... Sat, 25 Jun 2016 07:58:46 EST June craziness - I hate it - so there. :P This week: absolutely, positively the most nutty week ever. <BR> <BR> Things that were all over the place: <BR> a) eating (if I eat takeout or pizza for that matter one more time, so help me) oh, see reason b <BR> b) the family (are we ever not running around???) <BR> c) my emotions (lots of mama-bear reactions taking place, road rage top bc people are all idiots this week) <BR> <BR> And the reason is.......drum roll please......It's JUNE!!! Of course! <BR> <BR> While most people see Jun... Sat, 11 Jun 2016 07:36:19 EST The post weekend weigh-in Oh yesterday I drank.....more than I usually do at a family gathering. I ate chips too. Today I'm fine, but instead of waiting until Thursday for my usual weigh-in, I did it this morning after my 2 cups of coffee. Not the norm either. <BR> <BR> And I came out at 143.5. <BR> <BR> Which I'm kinda not surprised at either. Hubby is up 10-15 pounds because of stress-snack eating since we got back from the cruise in February. ... my excuse is alcohol....and the upcoming TOM (yay) <BR> <BR>... Tue, 31 May 2016 08:10:40 EST Tracking - just do it! Y'all know that I'ma HUGE fan of tracking my nutrition....because, it works and it got me where I am today....and it keeps be on track! <em>246</em> (Sorry, I couldn't resist that one!) <BR> <BR> But I will admit - I have not tracked anything in a LOOOOOOOOONG time because after a while, maintenance is boring because you eat the same stuff all the time, and you know the drill, and your body stabilizes and you honestly, might not need to every single day anymore (you here that??? But n... Fri, 6 May 2016 05:40:10 EST When food shuts up PJH2028 "so.... magic balance of paying attention and NOT making food the center of my focus. Activities... opening up to more.... delicate as a butterfly wing ... flapping... " <BR> <BR> That is a status quote from my Sparkfriend this morning and it resonated with me because it is very on point. <BR> <BR> A lot of food issues come from focusing on food as the comforter or the enemy....and with each role it plays, it's like food is ALWAYS the center of attention in our lives and it gets ver... Fri, 22 Apr 2016 06:39:24 EST Reach out & speak up! I'm guilty of not reaching out when I need it the most....that's why I have a little blurb on my page telling people to do so when they need to. <BR> <BR> And I really love it when people actually do....and what I say actually works for them! <BR> <BR> There is no secret to what I tell fact, it's all right here on Spark, I just tell it in my own words. Sometimes, that is the key to getting back on track: reading someone else's experience to realize you really aren't that far o... Tue, 12 Apr 2016 06:25:07 EST A guilt-free night out I went out with friends last night to a Whiskey and Wine bar...the kind that has the small plate menu. <BR> <BR> I've been there before, and it was OK....and with these places, the food is always rich and high in calories...and you can EASILY over eat with the meat & cheese board and the gooey mac & cheese dish. <BR> <BR> I kinda made a pact with myself that I was NOT going to over eat.....and I am happy to announce that I did just that. I ate until I was not starving anymore, and stopped... Sun, 10 Apr 2016 07:11:10 EST Day 1,435,281's not really that day because I'm not 3932 years old...but it is a little tongue in cheek on how some people title things...because let's face it, to find something in your writing when you search for "that moment" when only doing a day count without much else in it, makes that search next to impossible!! (might want to think about that if you've been doing it...just pointing out the obvious). <BR> <BR> And then there's the feeling that you've been dieting FOREVER and it feels like ... Sat, 9 Apr 2016 07:29:27 EST Sparkgoodies - we need a new one: WINE I've found that I use the same Sparkgoodies over and over again when I give them out. <BR> <BR> I'd even say I can list them right now: <BR> - smiley face <BR> - rainbow <BR> - flame <BR> - coffee (use that one a lot) <BR> - hug <BR> - mediation <BR> - candle <BR> - megaphone <BR> - flowers <BR> - confetti <BR> <BR> <BR> Yeah....those are my top 10. <BR> <BR> You know what would be a great addition? a glass of red wine! <BR> <BR> Yes, WINE !!!! <BR> <BR> Why? Because most of us will ... Thu, 7 Apr 2016 06:35:04 EST Spring cleaning I have to thank everyone who reached out to me on my last blog and on my really does mean the world to me that you are always here to support, even though I forget to reach out when I need it the most. Some comments really brought tears to my eyes along with a smile to my thank you for that. <BR> <BR> I just wanted to come on here to give you a little peek into my de-funking...which basically started Easter weekend...with the microwave. <BR> <BR> Let's back track: Fo... Sun, 3 Apr 2016 20:11:36 EST The disappearing act I openly admit that I go and do a Spark-disappearing act from time to time....and it's usually when things are derailing in some way, shape or form. <BR> <BR> This time, the derailing factor was me. <BR> <BR> It's not that I've been too busy to get on night I have plenty of time to play Spark-catch-up....and there is the Spark app and Pep which I troll during the's just that it's been me. <BR> <BR> I've been thinking everyday since my February vacation that I need to ... Sat, 2 Apr 2016 07:04:53 EST Here since 2008 - happy Sparkiversary to me! Tomorrow is by 8th Anniversary and the start of my 9th year here on Sparkpeople. <BR> <BR> If you read my page, it's got all the stats on it, so I'm not going to rehash it....again. LoL I'm 135 today and 50+ pounds down (still) from my original SW of 187. I've been maintaining that for years now (I forget the count)....and yet, it still is a struggle. <BR> <BR> The struggle really is a mental one. I don't know what it is about this past year, but it was one of the harder ones. LOTS of n... Sun, 7 Feb 2016 07:11:18 EST Listening If you've read my stuff, then you already know that I'm keen to listening to my body...that goes for the physical and mental part of it. I know exactly when I'm "off". <BR> <BR> Right now....I'm "off". <BR> <BR> Looks like a winter funk has settled in, and stress doesn't help. I had absolutely NOTHING to do last weekend, and that didn't help either! It was like a forced vacation, but when it's forced because everyone else is doing something fun and you are the loser who asks and gets ... Thu, 21 Jan 2016 05:33:12 EST First blog of 2016 <em>32</em> <BR> <BR> There ya go. <BR> <BR> <em>246</em> <BR> <BR> I'd blame the wine for such goofiness, but all I've got it coffee going in right now. <em>246</em> <BR> <BR> The first week was full of a myriad of things - from exercise highs (hiked almost 6 miles) to exercise lows (nothing at all and killing my 7 day streak) ....from relaxing to back to post-vacation stress that seemed a bit more annoying and higher than usual because it was not expected. <BR> <BR> C'est la... Sat, 9 Jan 2016 07:43:13 EST Dance to your own tune <img src=""> I was exercising today (the 4th consecutive day of it, gotta do it when I have the free time) and I was thinking about the songs I was listening to and thought I'd share. Everyone has their own set of songs that gets them going....punk, metal, funk, cardio-workout-pop mixes. I'm a modern day pop, new tunes on the radio with a good beat, scroll through iTunes and see what hits me kinda chick. That's t... Thu, 31 Dec 2015 13:19:54 EST Finally done! <em>244</em> <em>334</em> <em>236</em> <BR> It took a little over a week, but the time has finally come where I can say "I'm done" <BR> <BR> Being busy, busy, busy is good and all, but sometimes, when things are all party, party,'s not so great because that comes with its own set of stresses. <BR> <BR> Besides the holiday stuff going on last week, we laid to rest a most beloved uncle on my husband's side of the family. It was 2 Saturday's ago that he passed, so last Mo... Mon, 28 Dec 2015 08:09:52 EST Keep your cookies....give me the wine! No joke about that title....I'll take a glass of wine over a cookie - any day! Just think of all the calories I am saving by passing on all the treats! <BR> <em>334</em> <em>334</em> <em>334</em> <BR> <BR> I have had 5 cookies this month so far. That's pretty darned good considering 'tis the season and all! And that includes the ones I've baked and taste tested for my own house! <BR> <BR> But the bloat from the wine is the issue really. <em>15</em> Dang it all if there's ... Wed, 23 Dec 2015 05:40:06 EST Busy busy busy! 'Tis that time of year!! Between the school holiday gatherings...Hanukkah dinner (I host one for the most loverly Jewish couple who basically adopted my family and kids 9 years ago as their own surrogate grandchildren - so sweet!) and then Christmas prep (I host Christmas Eve for my mom's side of the family).....well Whew!! <em>100</em> things are certainly gearing up in full swing over here! <BR> <BR> Add on top of the gift getting, the wrapping, ... Sun, 6 Dec 2015 07:04:24 EST Sparkguy's Ultimate Sparkpeople Life Challenge Just a quick heads-up here about what Sparkguy is doing on his's pretty cool and I encourage you all to go check it out by following the link below <BR> <BR> <link><BR>urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=6032197 </link> <BR> <BR> Check it out and all of the blogs set up after that first one....and join in the fun...and see what other areas of your life you can change with little changes! <BR> <BR> <em>529</em> Mon, 30 Nov 2015 18:23:24 EST The morning after.... for's like the walk of shame after....well, you clog and overflow a toilet at you friends house. <em>246</em> <BR> <BR> Hahahaha....get your minds out of the gutter people!! <BR> <BR> But what I'm really talking about is the day after Thanksgiving when you finally reassess what you did the day (or 2 days) before. <BR> <BR> Confession: I went out on Wednesday night to the local pub and hung out with my old neighbors....and I happened to drink a bottle of wine. <B... Fri, 27 Nov 2015 07:41:06 EST Long term health My aunt is 82 years old and this past Tuesday, she was rushed to the hospital because she could barely walk 5 steps without becoming out of breath. She hasn't been the healthiest person throughout her life, but she's a tough lady and has always come through.....but this time, blood clots were found in her lungs and possibly her heart, so when I found out I was very upset and called her immediately. <BR> <BR> I found out 2 days after the fact, so she answered the phone all chipper and happy... Sat, 21 Nov 2015 08:15:53 EST Know your body...listen to it I know my body now to a T. <BR> <BR> It took YEARS of tracking nutrition and fitness, blogging, and prior to that, writing things down (I found a journal from 1999-2000 and it had everything I've ever written on here, in it! - goes to show you how the core of what you KNOW you should do is inside you's just implementing it that is the key and the hardest part).....but I digress.... <BR> <BR> I know which foods trigger the feelings of ick....and the cues and clues to when it is ... Thu, 19 Nov 2015 06:45:21 EST A day to reset and unplug On Friday I had a day myself...and from the previous blog post, y'all know how I have a hard time occupying myself when I'm not busy...Sooooooo....I put forth a tentative quiet day plan..... <BR> <BR> I took the day for what it was worth. <BR> <BR> I planned a bit to clean - 15 minutes per room, even set a timer - and off I went. <BR> <BR> I joined the 28 Spark home workout challenge, so I did that too. <BR> <BR> I needed to go food shopping...checked that off my list. <BR> <BR>... Sun, 15 Nov 2015 07:25:27 EST When I'm not busy.... When I'm not busy....I don't know what to do!! <BR> <BR> Because of working the weekend, I had to take this morning off and go in late because of an event we have here I am killing the clock until I leave in an hour. <BR> <BR> This morning (cold icky weather here) was a forced workout that I really wasn't in the mood to do because I wasn't feeling good....and you know what? I feel better now! I had thought that's how it would be, but just DOING it, the lack of motivation, the... Thu, 12 Nov 2015 11:18:10 EST The little things This morning on FB, a friend from high school told us all that yesterday, she had lost her 27 month old daughter to cancer. <BR> ---------------- <BR> ............... <BR> _________ <BR> <BR> I paused a moment and thought of how lucky I was, and how sad I was for her...and, well....that it really sucked. <BR> <BR> Of course, as all humans do, we get caught up in our own drama and routine of the day, and suddenly, the thought of them passed and I was on my way with my day. <BR> <BR> The old... Fri, 6 Nov 2015 19:40:17 EST Everyone needs more cowbell I got a cowbell as a gift today from a student....and it's <em>345</em> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> Of course, everything in my world has a silly story that goes along with it, and this in no exception. I work with college students and every once in a while, they take a test (a BIG test) and there really is no pomp and circumstance at all when it's I started doing the mini golf-clap with my crew on duty ... Fri, 30 Oct 2015 21:19:19 EST Full moon + PMS = run away!! The full moon and my TOM cycle seemed to have synced up! YAY! <em>224</em> <BR> <BR> Um....yeah, I don't think so. <em>40</em> <BR> <BR> Everything seems mood, my irritability, my ability to make mountains out of mole hills. <BR> <BR> You catch my drift. <BR> <BR> So on days like today, the plan is to just shut my mouth....gooooo with the flow (no pun intended - although, that's a pretty good one!) <BR> <BR> I really haven't had a month like this in a while where... Tue, 27 Oct 2015 08:18:09 EST Low self-esteem...the next generation My youngest ran in and was like "Mom, Dan is running down the street and he says he never coming back again!" <BR> <BR> I was instantly at attention and just said, "Ok, so who did what?" <BR> <BR> Evidently, from the youngest's version, the story goes that the oldest said something about football being cool and, and Dan didn't give it enough of a chance because he quit, and if he just tried it would probably would have liked it....but the reaction was not what his older brother expected and... Sun, 18 Oct 2015 19:23:07 EST The Afterglow Well, it's been a fun 2 weeks, with the M2Mom Conference last week and the Q&A/Success story blog article coming out this week. If you didn't catch it is for you to check out. <BR> <BR> <link><BR>st=busy_mom_of_three_gets_the_whole_fa<BR>mily_healthier </link> <BR> <BR> I've talked about not being "out" on Facebook in other blogs...well, I did it....I finally came out as a being overweight there last week while I was at the conference, and ... Fri, 16 Oct 2015 19:11:20 EST NYC/Sparkpeople I'm exhausted....but if I don't do this right now, it might not get done once tomorrow gets started! <BR> <BR> Well I went into the city on my own to tool around and be touristy...had a few things on my bucket list to do by myself, so I figured...why not!?! Walk around! <BR> <BR> First stop: Times Square!! Gratuitous tourist ball shot for ya! See the 2015 up there? <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Next stop: Empire ... Wed, 7 Oct 2015 20:44:45 EST Representing Sparkpeople in NYC! Ok...this is some HUGE news I'm going to share here. <em>334</em> <BR> <BR> Most of the time, I tend to shy away from announcing anything major going on, but this involves all of YOU to some degree in some way, shape, or form! <BR> <BR> I have to thank Nu (NUMD97) for really bringing this about....she saw that Spark was looking for a mom in the NYC area to represent a success story and she thought and nominated me to them!! <em>304</em> Nu!!! <BR> <BR> Well a few weeks a... Mon, 5 Oct 2015 19:18:44 EST Post blog events....... Ever do a blog venting something....and after the vent is done, somehow, magically, things take a turn towards a different light. <BR> <BR> This happens to me all the time. I just vented about busy things going on here and hugs, and whallah, things smoothed out just in time...busy, but more pleasant than I thought it was going to be....and I actually got tons of hugs this weekend!!!!!! <BR> <BR> Maybe it was being around different sets of people and getting to know each them that was the ... Sun, 4 Oct 2015 19:55:27 EST Rain and Hugs Rain is a good least from where I stand right now....which isn't in any basement flooding or a rising river outside my door thanks to the passing storm. For those of you dealing with have my deepest sympathy. Being a Long Islander, we've seen a lot of that and it's really not all. <em>39</em> <BR> <BR> But for me, last night, the rain cancelled football practice and for that, I am grateful!! The coach (the hubster and volunteer to every organization o... Sat, 3 Oct 2015 07:39:41 EST 5 years on maintenance... thanks Sparkpeople <em>334</em> <BR> It's a neat thing to have to be reminded by the At Goal & Maintaining + Transition to Maintenance team that today was the day I officially entered into Maintenance. I think it happened last year as well! <BR> <BR> You'd think that after all the work of getting to this point, I'd have it tattooed somewhere on my body! <em>246</em> <BR> <BR> But it's a quiet thing that sneaks up on me every year. I remember my first goal date very well, because it coincides with my... Tue, 22 Sep 2015 19:19:55 EST What...a...week School began and it's like the whole place BLEW UP!!!! <em>40</em> <BR> <BR> Papers are everywhere...clutter is everywhere...cups are everywhere...people are scattered everywhere! <BR> <BR> Hello..where are you going? Hello....I am are there...see you later <em>213</em> <BR> <BR> Tuesdays alone has track, religion, karate, and football - all within a 3 hour period. <BR> Fridays has track, karate, football, and scouts - all within a 3 hour period. <BR> <BR> I call them... Fri, 18 Sep 2015 21:18:45 EST