ANGELBETH76's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=ANGELBETH76 ANGELBETH76's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Immeasurable http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5511229 I am working my way out of the mental hole I have been in. It is a one day at a time process. Zig Ziglar spoke this truth, "The moment you are ready to quit is usually the moment right before the miracle happens, Don't give up!" I have come a long way from where I was. It can't be measured on the scale, on a tape measure, or in the size of clothes I wear, but it is valuable. It is a permanent change. Anything worth having is worth fighting for. My house is getting cleaner everyday. I am doing... Sat, 12 Oct 2013 01:07:46 EST Biggest Loser Audition Tape 2013 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5341959 Caleb and Jacob helped me tape this with their ipod, so its not the best, but I thought it was great for what we had to work with. Wed, 1 May 2013 12:14:56 EST Biggest Loser Open Audition http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5341866 Hey everyone! It has been a while since I've been on here. This has been such a season of sickness that I just quit trying. I gave up on it. I've had an endoscopy back in December to make sure nothing was wrong in my stomach and all was fine, so I just have an incredibly sensitive stomach.. maybe that is partly stress and partly the weight. Anyhow, I am going to a Biggest Loser Open Call in Cincinnati Ohio on May 11th. I have sent in my pics, application, and video already. I know i didn't ha... Wed, 1 May 2013 10:51:01 EST MY GOD CAN AND HE DOES! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5112706 MY GOD CAN AND HE DOES!!! Just got back from mom's doctor appointment and there is no cancer! This morning I told Jacob, my 12 year old son, to pray for good results and he told me that he didn't need to pray for good results because he has seen what God can do and he has already taken care of it. ¢¾ My preacher man! I told him to pray for Grandma to have peace in her heart today then. He said I will and you tell her I love her! I felt the same way, but it was great hearing him say it. Our ne... Thu, 25 Oct 2012 16:50:19 EST Changing more than just what I eat http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5108872 This has been such a process. I haven't lost much weight at all, but I'm pushing through in my life. I am able to clean house more. I have more positive days. I am more interactive with the kids. My life has been a series of unfortunate events. I've never felt like I was in control. I think I decided that there wasn't any point in attempting to live a positive life since everything turned out so bad. Well what I have been doing for the past months is changing my mindset and realizing that I ... Mon, 22 Oct 2012 18:58:07 EST Lost http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4937355 Dear Friends, <BR> I am so so sorry that I haven't been on here. Honestly, I didn't want to be on here. I'm depressed and tired and sick and I just couldn't handle looking at this page. When I see how much I was doing on here, it shows me even more how bad I'm doing now. I have been feeling really bad. I don't have much energy. I run down real easy, so the time I've spent running for the boys, has run my body way down. When I'm home, I hardly feel like doing more than sitting. I'm eating bad.... Fri, 22 Jun 2012 09:14:54 EST Mental Challenge http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4900349 This week, earn 50 points for your team by writing down three things that are currently in your life that give you happiness. <BR> 1. God <BR> 2. My boys <BR> 3. My family esp. my mom, my Grandma, my 1st cousin Miranda, and her baby Rebekah 12 wks <BR> <BR> This week, earn 50 points for your team by witting down three things that you would like to do or experience that would increase your happiness. (These can be things that are instant gratification items or long-term dreams, or anything in... Sun, 27 May 2012 20:25:27 EST I feel excited and I think I like it http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4893717 I got up this morning and made the kids, myself, and my darling Maltese, China breakfast. We had a great morning. After they left, I made a spontaneous decision this morning at 8:10 to not stay home and be on the computer all day and watch tv. I got swim items together, took a shower, shaved, got dressed, and headed out. Stopped at the library and then went on to the pool. School will be out in a week and I thought it would be great to get some exercise time in alone before its out. I got in ... Tue, 22 May 2012 22:05:12 EST It is Well with my Soul http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4890243 <em>43</em> Sunday <em>288</em> <em>296</em> <BR> Sunday is my favorite day of the week. It is the day I spend meditating with the Lord. Most weeks I don't spend enough time during the week reading the word of God and praying, but I always have Sunday's set aside to be with God and with family. I love church. I've been going since I was born and saved since I was about 9. Yesterday and today I spend a lot more time in reading the Bible and Praying though. It was such a great help to have... Sun, 20 May 2012 20:39:27 EST So proud of my boys http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4888750 Well last night we had a blessed night at the boys' school. They both received a trophy and certificate for Academic Excellence! During Westest this past week they both received chains for excellence during testing. Jacob, my 12 yr old, was inducted into the National Junior Honor Society last night! My boys have accomplished so much this year. Now we're excited to accomplish a lot in the physical realm this summer. <BR> <BR> Yesterday I really didn't get a lot done, but I went outside a few ... Sat, 19 May 2012 16:33:42 EST So excited to get my letter in the mail today http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4886344 I got my letter from the YMCA!!! So excited. Our application was approved for the scholarship program and they are waiving the Joiners Fee and giving us a 70% discount. With the discount, our fee for each month as a Single Family will be about $13.50 and we also get that discount on most of the classes. I got the boys signed up for swim classes and they were like $8.50 each. So completely awesome. I found a Aerobic Swim exercise class I can take after their swim lessons. That will really help... Thu, 17 May 2012 21:09:11 EST My Perseverance of the day! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4884736 Wednesday: Even though TOM is got me down, way down <em>24</em> I made great strides to get some things accomplished today that I promised myself yesterday that I would do. I cleaned the boy's bathroom and some of mine. I did laundry. I cooked breakfast this morning. I took my doggie on a short walk and got the mail. Then I watched a movie with my mom since I didn't get to spend anytime with her Sunday, since the kids and I were sick that day. Then I made supper <em>224</em> . My kids are ... Wed, 16 May 2012 20:39:06 EST The Little Things! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4883172 I'm going to try to start blogging about "all" the accomplishments I make, no matter how small they may seem. It could be anything from opening the blinds, to exercise, to nutrition. I always overwhelm myself. I put such a tall order in for myself that I can't fill it and I get discouraged, therefore quitting. I can no longer gauge myself, by what others are doing. Mental is over half the battle for all of us I believe and if I can begin and end each day by being happy with myself, then I'll... Tue, 15 May 2012 20:44:08 EST Falling apart http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4878104 Oh dear spark friends. I have been on here four months and I have made such great friends. There is so much at my fingertips. I have so much information stored away in this head of mine. I have a wii balance board and my wii fit program. I have an awesome treadmill in my living room. I live in the country and have a ton of places to walk. I am going downhill though. I have been trying to be positive. That's me, always putting on the happy face for as long as I can. My Grandma has been so conv... Sat, 12 May 2012 10:03:25 EST Early Christmas at the YMCA http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4871529 I have been doing a lot of thinking. I'm a stay at home single mom and It is really really hard for me to keep motivated being home alone so much. I lose the drive. I just knew it would be best if I could start some classes at the Y, but of course that requires gas money to travel 40 minutes both ways and time. I have battled with it in my mind, but I finally decided that instead of starting Directv back up that it would be awesome to use that money for the Y membership. I asked my boys what ... Tue, 8 May 2012 00:10:58 EST He Almost Drove Away ~~~ a touching story http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4865405 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/8/2/l821506102.jpg"> <BR> <BR> A sweet lesson on patience. <BR> <BR> A NYC Taxi driver wrote: <BR> <BR> I arrived at the address and honked the horn. After waiting a few minutes I honked again. Since this was going to be my last ride of my shift I thought about just driving away, but instead I put the car in park and walked up to the door and knocked.. 'Just a minute', answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged acro... Thu, 3 May 2012 21:44:46 EST Show's over time to get on with the real thing http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4858017 Who do I think I'm kidding. I haven't been eating right or exercising for like 2 months. I lost most of my weight the first month I was on here. I've dropped a little bit here and there since, but I could be losing so much more. Several weeks ago I quit measuring, I quit tracking on a daily base for nutrition and fitness, I quit doing strength training, I quit drinking my daily water and I quit looking for healthy options when I went out. Every time I get sick, I don't feel like eating and th... Sun, 29 Apr 2012 18:38:42 EST My childhood prayer answered http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4855668 I would have to write a book to relate to you the feelings of the situation I grew up in. My dad was very depressed growing up. He sat in the dark. He had a short stay in a mental hospital. He visited therapists. I saw him in a fetal position in his room crying. My mom suffered so much. She spent so much time caring for my brother and I and trying to take care of dad. Me with my Epilepsy and other physical ailments, my brother with his many emergency room visits, dad with his many health prob... Sat, 28 Apr 2012 00:02:09 EST Prison http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4845895 Dear Spark Friends, <BR> <BR> I'm here to share because I know there are so many of you that care. It helps that I can blog about what's going on in my life, 1st because I empty my mind by typing it out and 2nd because I know my Spark Friends are reading and caring. <BR> <BR> There is a girl several years younger than me that I befriended when she was really young. Her name is Shannon. She lived right below our church and so, when I was married, my husband and I would pick her up to drive h... Sat, 21 Apr 2012 21:58:45 EST 1st Annual all about me week http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4838422 <em>247</em> to me <BR> <em>285</em> crowning myself <BR> <em>243</em> cheering myself on <BR> <em>204</em> prettying myself up and admiring <BR> <em>276</em> hey I might even write a song about myself <em>334</em> <BR> <em>214</em> roses for me <BR> <em>410</em> It's time to throw myself a party <BR> It is time for me! <em>128</em> <BR> <BR> Conceited? Self Absorbed? Snooty? Selfish? NO! NO! NO! I'm none of these things. Actually I'm completely the opposite. Isn't that wha... Mon, 16 Apr 2012 22:01:58 EST I am worth it because: http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4826122 1) I am worth it because: I deserve to have joy unspeakable and full of glory just as I give to others <BR> 2) I am worth it because: I am so beautiful inside and its time to let the outside reflect that <BR> 3) I am worth it because: I have a lot to offer this world and I need to live longer and healthier to spread more of it around <BR> 4) I am worth it because: I am so loving and tender with all I meet <BR> 5) I am worth it because: God made me special. He is the Potter and I am the Clay <... Sun, 8 Apr 2012 21:41:18 EST VISUALIZATION EXERCISE for Healthy Living Challenge http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4820994 Today is October 4th 2012. I am so excited. The air is crisp and the Black Walnut Festival is almost here. It is one of my most anticipated days of the year. I see so many old friends in town as we walk around celebrating. What is so much more exciting is that my new outfit bought especially for the event looks fantastic on me. I’ve lost a total of 60lbs. I can’t believe it, but I’m at 287! I’m so happy to be falling away from that dreaded 300 mark. It’s not just that I’m at 287 though. It’s ... Wed, 4 Apr 2012 22:05:00 EST DISGUSTED with stupid rules http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4820125 WARNING: I am going to blow some steam off <em>28</em> <BR> Okay so my ex has always paid child support faithfully and we have been able to keep afloat with child support and my disability and God has provided us with a small single wide that we call home, but its ours. Well last June my ex quit/got fired from his job. I'm not sure what happened and its hard to say if I will ever know. So he decides to start his own business. HA! I knew that was trouble from the start. First off he tried th... Wed, 4 Apr 2012 11:10:20 EST Surrounded by children and feeling at home http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4813881 I have been with my cousin baby all week and the first day, Monday, I was nervous about how helpful I would be. It came so natural. I had such a wonderful 3 days watching out for her as I traveled along to appointments with her mommy. Her mommy is nursing her, so she takes her with her everywhere. <BR> <BR> Well that was wonderful. Then Thursday I got to spend the day with my mom for my birthday and I got some great clothes thanks to my mommy and got my first allergy shot! <BR> <BR> Friday ... Sat, 31 Mar 2012 17:20:37 EST All-Team Mental Challenge Goal Setting http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4805233 All-Team Mental Challenge - Week 1 <BR> GOAL SETTING <BR> Monday 03/26 to Sunday 04/01 <BR> <BR> My goal is to .... wow this is hard for me. I hate setting goals for myself because I don't trust myself to follow through. Life gets in the way. Let's see... <BR> <BR> My goal is to be more motivated everyday by: Opening the blinds, Turning on Music, Reading my bible even if it is one verse, and going outside for at least 10 minutes each day. <BR> <BR> My goal is to get down to finally get dow... Mon, 26 Mar 2012 09:44:24 EST Day out with the boys! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4803957 I fell asleep before I could blog about my day with the boys lol, so here I am to tell you about it the day after. It was rainy, so we had to cancel feeding the ducks and going to the park. We were going to go to McDonald's for breakfast, but they were remodeling, so we went into Bob Evan's instead and it was awesome! We went on to target and found the boys two outfits each for Spring/Summer! It was great. I didn't have any luck for me, so I thought I would go to Kohl's later, that is until I... Sun, 25 Mar 2012 12:51:08 EST Whoever thought getting to clean would be a blessing?! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4801765 I am so psyched. I had such a wonderful day. Prayers went up and God heard them, so today I felt awesome and cleaned so much. I got my treadmill unearthed yay <em>315</em> <em>224</em> I am so excited. I also ate so good today! It was an amazing day! I carried a broken recliner and my dead microwave up to the trash, which is really far. So proud of myself. I also cleaned out the hutch and mini pantry to give away. I may change my mind and use them in the boys room for clothes. They don't h... Fri, 23 Mar 2012 18:48:04 EST Sparkin Alive Sparkin Alive Oh Oh Oh Oh Sparkin Alive! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4798979 Dear <em>223</em> s <BR> <BR> Thank you so much for being so encouraging to me over my last weeks of down times and grouchiness. I hope I can repay the favor for you. So many of you have helped me push through this time. This is the moment when I would have just thrown in the towel and been back to square one in a few months after gaining even more weight than when I started. <BR> <BR> <em>252</em> Spark has changed that. You! The people of spark have changed that for me. <BR> <BR> I t... Wed, 21 Mar 2012 23:32:45 EST You spin me round http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4797500 Weird title for what I'm about to discuss I reckon lol, but it seemed fitting to me. You ever feel like someone threw your life in a blender till you didn't know what was what. I feel like my head is spinning most of the time :-) <BR> Sometimes life is like a two edged sword and either way you go, you get cut. Well I guess that is life without God, but with God all things are possible, even maneuvering past two edge swords <BR> <em>334</em> <BR> Okay you have no idea what I 'm talking abo... Tue, 20 Mar 2012 21:38:32 EST MIRACLES http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4793250 My mom is a 5 year Leukemia Survivor <em>104</em> Praise the Lord! <BR> <BR> My son Jacob is conquering his anxiety that he has from a bad childhood, which is why I'm divorced now. It was also hard on him that his Grandma was in the hospital so long though and he wasn't allowed to see her or hardly touch her. He went into the <em>201</em> woods and down to the creek by himself to play. This may seem like no big deal to most, but it is a Miracle in his life! <BR> <BR> My brother called ... Sun, 18 Mar 2012 11:34:39 EST Trying not to be frustrated http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4786973 Losing weight is such mixed emotions. I love that on The Biggest Loser that they focus on the mental aspect, because the process truly is at least 50% mental. I would say it is nearly 90% for me. My body has lots of issues and I spend a lot of time bloated. I'm going to have to eat more natural foods. Yesterday I had about 3100mg of sodium as opposed to my 2100-2400 that I try to keep it up and I think it made a big difference. Then again I think it is time for my monthly to rear its ugly hea... Wed, 14 Mar 2012 09:35:10 EST Blue Bunny Be Still My Heart http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4786196 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/9/5/l955450600.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Who says that healthy snacking can't be a wonderful experience?! I am a frozen treats girl and so as recommended by a blood type diet book, I decided to quit eating ice cream and instead eat frozen yogurt. I fell in love with it right away. It is so light and sweet. I eat one cup for a snack almost everyday. I get Blue Bunny Strawberry Banana Yogurt. At first, that was because it was the only frozen yogurt my Walma... Tue, 13 Mar 2012 20:29:14 EST Going to the Gym could be a great reward for me! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4784352 I really hated being sick. It was so great to get to exercise finally today. I love exercise. I really do. I think instead of getting a manicure, pedicure, or massage for rewards that I'm going to use the money I would have spent to go to the gym and try some new exercise classes. I would love to get out of the house more than anything else. <BR> <BR> WOW shortest blog ever for me lol <BR> Have a great week! <BR> <BR> Elisabeth Mon, 12 Mar 2012 19:52:48 EST Here I am to worship - 4 weeks until we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ our Lord! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4781266 Thank you so much sweet Jesus! Here is a song for You! I love you so much! <BR> <BR> "Here I Am To Worship" <BR> <em>335</em> <em>335</em> <em>335</em> <BR> Light of the world, You step down into darkness. <BR> Opened my eyes let me see. <BR> Beauty that made this heart adore you hope of a life spent with you. <BR> <em>335</em> <BR> [Chorus] <BR> And here I am to worship, <BR> Here I am to bow down, <BR> Here I am to say that you're my God, <BR> You're altogether lovely, <BR> Altoget... Sat, 10 Mar 2012 21:47:55 EST Day 5 Reflection: Don't Worry&#9834;&#9834;&#9834;&#9835;&#9834;Be Happy:12 yr old enlightenment http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4779573 Bob Marley's song was going through my head this evening after I got home and settled in. I'd just had a talk with my 12 year old son <em>36</em> Jacob before he went out to play and it enlightened me. <em>43</em> I felt like a burden had been lifted from my mind, so I sang.... <BR> <em>335</em> <BR> Here's a little song i wrote, <BR> you might want to sing it note for note, <BR> don't worry, be happy <BR> <em>335</em> <BR> in every life we have some trouble, <BR> when you worry you ... Fri, 9 Mar 2012 17:30:16 EST Day 3 & 4 Reflection Time - I'm not a number & Cooking Lessons http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4778154 I was so sick that I missed yesterday's blog. I knew what I wanted to write, but I fell asleep, so I'm bringing you two days in one blog! <BR> <BR> As I have thought this week, I realized that this is not about a number on the scale. It is a journey of strength. It is also a journey of loving myself. My doctor said something that shocked me one day. It upset me for a while until I realized what he truly meant. He said people will always be losing weight and gaining it back. That doesn't matt... Thu, 8 Mar 2012 21:10:03 EST Day 2 Reflection Time: I go to the Rock of my Salvaton http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4773794 I go to the rock of my salvation <BR> I go to the stone that the builders rejected <BR> I run to the mountain and the mountain stands by me <BR> When the earth all around me is sinking sand <BR> On Christ the solid rock I stand <BR> When I need a shelter <BR> When I need a friend I go to the rock <BR> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOZuhtoS4<BR>GE <BR> <BR> God is the master of reflection and there is no other place that I can go that I can come away with such clarity. Lord thank you for our... Tue, 6 Mar 2012 13:03:35 EST Day 1 Reflection Time: Stress/Money http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4772619 Money can be all consuming, especially when you don't have it. I have been on the side of not having it my entire life, so its nothing new and I usually cope with it well. There are days though, when my envy gets the better of me. Days when I wish we had a nicer home than our single wide, that we had furniture that wasn't broken, that we had our own car, that I could take my boys to the beach or an amusement park. There are days when I wish I didn't have to add the price of my groceries as I ... Mon, 5 Mar 2012 20:51:43 EST Refuse to fall into old traps so time to regroup http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4770976 I have struggled these past two weeks to survive through sickness. My body is tired and my mind is tired. We have a week full of appointments this week. I have been successful for the past 6 weeks. I have lost 20lbs. I feel my mind slipping in my weakened state though and I refuse to let that happen, so I'm thankful to have this site to share with you. This site has made the difference in my life of struggles. Sometimes you feel so isolated in your own world of struggles, but on here I have f... Sun, 4 Mar 2012 23:49:24 EST Optimistically refuse to be Pessimistic http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4767167 I have the blues <BR> Is it the rain? <em>257</em> <em>27</em> <BR> Then perhaps I should be waiting in anticipation for the <em>437</em> <BR> Or be thankful that I'm cozy indoors <em>81</em> <BR> <BR> Is it the noise? My kids are home from school today and fighting off and on. <BR> Perhaps I should consider it <em>335</em> to my ears. I have two wonderful boys <em>36</em> and they are both healthy <em>282</em> That is a lot to be thankful for! <BR> <BR> Is it because I watche... Fri, 2 Mar 2012 12:32:09 EST Better than medicine - Endorphins http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4757606 Web MD: Improved self-esteem is a key psychological benefit of regular physical activity. When you exercise, your body releases chemicals called endorphins. These endorphins interact with the receptors in your brain that reduce your perception of pain. <BR> <BR> I have dealt with Anxiety and Depression my whole life. Even as a child, I was sad and distant from those around me. I didn't want to be. I have a heart bigger than Texas and I wanted to be hugged and loved, but my brain wouldn't let... Sun, 26 Feb 2012 09:18:32 EST RE BOUND!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4754174 So it usually goes, on fire for a week, maybe two, if I'm luck, a month and then crash and burn. Maybe because of sickness, maybe the holidays, maybe a busy schedule and appointments. Who knows?! Well I made it a month and then it happened. I fell down, but GUESS WHAT! I'm back up. REBOUND! I'm going stronger than ever. I have been sick for such a long time that I am having a hard time getting my house caught up, but slowly and surely it is getting there. Today I got my living room floor clea... Thu, 23 Feb 2012 23:05:07 EST Falling down and getting back up http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4747351 I recognized it and I looked at it and I still didn't do anything. Being sick and on my 3rd antibiotic in like 4 or 5 weeks, I'm just too tired to care. No let me change that, I care and it plagues my mind, but I'm too tired to listen to my mind. What am I talking about?! That mentality that says, "You screwed up. Why bother. You'll try another time. Give yourself a week off. You deserve it." Those stupid thoughts rambling through my head that I let disable me. Dishes are stacked up. My sink ... Mon, 20 Feb 2012 09:38:47 EST What's so great about me http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4744128 Sometimes it is so hard for me to feel good about myself. I struggle with that more than anything. I've been on disability since I was about 20 (about 15 years). I'm sick all the time. I'm tired all the time from being sick all the time. I have a very hard time keeping a clean house because of all of this and I'm divorced. If I dwell on these things, I can throw an all-nighter on the pity party. If I don't like myself and if I dwell on the negative, I don't care how I look or feel though. I s... Fri, 17 Feb 2012 22:40:50 EST Shout out to the Spark Community! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4727318 Just a few words! Tue, 7 Feb 2012 14:25:03 EST Some new thoughts on my planning food http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4727244 I have observed two things that need better planning. One, I need to be realistic about what I will eat when I'm sick and make plans accordingly. I need to have foods on hand that my stomach can handle and that can also keep me on track. I'm working on that one. Pudding, Jell-o, and a low sodium soup will be among them though. Also I had quit buying diet pop because we're not drinking it, but I need to have diet gingerale on hand for when I'm sick. <BR> <BR> Secondly, I need to portion snack... Tue, 7 Feb 2012 13:47:24 EST Pivotal Moment http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4725597 I had a rough week last night with allergies and "other" things and my stomach was off towards the end of the week. I maintained my calories though and I did exercise, but at weigh in, I had only lost 1lb and that was so discouraging. I mean I know 1 lb in 5 days was great, but... I have so much to lose blah blah blah... you know the story lol and so do I. <BR> <BR> Saturday I took the boys to the movies and went way over my calories because we decided spontaneously to go. Since I didn't pla... Mon, 6 Feb 2012 16:11:46 EST Contagious! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4719240 I'm sure in your life you're heard that laughter is contagious. Also bad habits are contagious and depression spreads. I still haven't figured out why yawning is contagious. I would love to figure that one out someday lol. Eating good and exercising is contagious as well. When I drink water, I can't get enough of it. When I eat healthy food, my body craves more. Every time I try some old food that is high in grease or sugar, I'm disgusted and sickened. I'm addicted to my healthy foods after j... Thu, 2 Feb 2012 20:01:17 EST If you don't plan to succeed, you plan to fail http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4709064 My life has always been about dragging myself from one stressful moment to the next. It came from so many stressful situations in my life, too many to count. Finally my life has calmed down enough till I can think about me though. There are still things in my life, but nothing that can even compare to my life before. I got teary eyed when I talked to my mom today because I haven't spent near as much time at her house. She's been sick and I was tearing myself up for not being over there more. ... Sat, 28 Jan 2012 18:03:34 EST Spark People is going to change my life http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4698243 I can't say enough good things about this website. Every aspect of it is changing my life. I've been told several times in my life to keep track of calories, but I don't have time to look back and forth through a book and write them down and sometimes it isn't even in the book. On here, I just look it up, or add it real quick and if its something I am going to keep eating, I can favorite it. They thought of everything on this website. The articles and teams are so helpful. The fitness tracker... Mon, 23 Jan 2012 07:35:40 EST