ALICIADENISE109's SparkPeople Blog ALICIADENISE109's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Fresh start ok here we go again... after me whining on my last blog and just the way i have felt since falling off the wagon I am determined to start over.... fresh new start beginning tomorrow morning... I am so ready! I have done nothing but watch youtube inspiration videos today! let's do this! Sun, 26 Jul 2015 18:19:14 EST Feeling like a failure Since March 15th, I had lost 30lbs..... but the last few weeks I have not tried as hard but didn't totally fall off the wagon.... I managed to gain like 4 lbs... may not seem like a lot but to me it is... well fast forward to this week I got back on track and hit the gym everyday and ate right...except two cheat meals.. it could have been worse... but I thought I was doing good... so I cheated and weighed a day early (I weigh Sundays) and was devastated..... from 291.8 (30lb mark) when I weig... Sat, 18 Jul 2015 11:12:59 EST Frustrated and angry I was in a wonderful mood up until about 10 minutes ago.... I don't know where it came from but out of the blue I was frustrated and the point of tears... My childhood popped into my head and all the emotions started going through my head... all the pain and anger and then my weight come along right behind it.... I looked in the mirror and realized just how much I hate my body... but yet I can't stop eating... Im afraid for my health.... and for a 28 yr old... im in bad shape... hea... Thu, 13 Dec 2012 14:30:20 EST end of week 3 This week wasn't so nice but I see where I went wrong and see my faults.... hoping this week I can lose the 4 i gained and maybe with any luck at least 1 more so I will be back on track... plus I need to add a little exercise into my diet.... but im not going to go full force... thats where i crash.... but thanks to all that continue to stick by me..... Mon, 3 Dec 2012 08:37:46 EST End of Week 2 Even Thanksgiving couldn't hold me back this week.... which is really surprising.... I am down to 308.6 this week.... a total of 4.6 in 2 weeks... I know I can keep it up... Thanks for all the support!! Mon, 26 Nov 2012 05:53:07 EST Week 1 Today was weigh in day.... not completely happy but will take it... I am slowly trying to do this just as suggested... so for this week I lost a total of 2.2 lbs... and in reality I know this is a good number... but I guess in my head it should be more or i was going to wake up and it magically be a higher number or even a lot of the weight would be gone lol..... but this week will be the true test with Thanksgiving around the corner.... Thanks for those that are so positive and keep those en... Mon, 19 Nov 2012 16:35:16 EST Crying inside with no one to help I am scared and crying inside, well more like screaming... I know I have a problem.... I am at my heaviest ever... 313.6 and that's a lot for a 5'1 frame... and still gaining... I would have never thought I would get to this point... My clothes don't fit anymore... and lord you should see me in my work uniform... I don't know what i'm going to do if I gain more... Everyone close to me just gets on my nerves when talking about my weight... they don't know how hard it is to try and lose... I'm... Sat, 10 Nov 2012 16:53:22 EST