AGODDESSRISING's SparkPeople Blog AGODDESSRISING's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community A new perspective I have started my weight loss journey over and over again and have never reached my final goal. Today was another start. Meals planned, groceries purchased, food logged, etc. Normally the white-knuckles would start right about now. I did this all today, but can I keep it up tomorrow? <BR> <BR> But in order to be successful I must shift my thinking from the all-or-nothing. This journey isn't about doing everything well every single day and losing 80 pounds in less than a year. This is about... Fri, 15 Aug 2014 17:35:07 EST Planes, Trains, & Automobiles...well, not trains.. So, my family is hitting the road on Wednesday for a week-long trip back home to NM. I am a bit stressed about the trip for many reasons. First, we are traveling with our 9 month old. It is timed to his naptime and I'm hoping he'll fall asleep on the flight. Any tips for what to pack to keep him entertained are VERY welcome! Luckily the flight is just under 3 hours..not super long. I just picture a screaming baby, passengers rolling their eyes, sweat dripping down my husband's face, me a m... Mon, 5 Aug 2013 14:28:01 EST My WHY So, I'm powering through a 90 day program. (more of my journey is on There was that little part of me last night that was saying.."ugh..I miss the days when I was lazy instead of working out every night..." and I got to thinking about WHY am I doing this? Why am I mentally pushing myself harder than ever before? What is making me get through sweaty, high intensity workouts day after day? What is making me get farther than I ever have in any program I've tried before?... Thu, 25 Jul 2013 14:16:13 EST My tire was flat... Think about the balance of fitness, family, work, your own fun, like the tires of a car. You want to keep them all full! It's so hard! Well, I didn't plan well today and my workout went out the window..but one tire that has been flat has been my fun tire. I filled it today with time outside with my hilarious 8 month old son who thought the greatest thing today was the tupperware of water he got to splash his hands in, and a great dinner with good friends who I love to see and don't get to see... Wed, 24 Jul 2013 12:48:07 EST Little victories! So I was sitting on my bed with my laptop paying bills and I realized that my thigh is looking much more toned! I've been working on my 90 day workout program and am almost done with the first 30 days. I grabbed my measuring tape and realized I'm down an inch on each thigh! YES! So excited because the scale does not tell me things like this! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> So psyched!! <BR> Fri, 19 Jul 2013 16:25:26 EST Hitting Rock Bottom and Rising Again! I've been MIA for awhile..since January. Since that time I was on maternity leave and returned to work in March. Even though work and family life has been going well, I was at the point of not being able to take one more day of what I was seeing in the mirror. <BR> This past March, I felt like a very small version of what I can be. I had only three pairs of "big pants" to wear since maternity leave, as well as shirts that were either ill-fitting or still made me look pregnant. I've dealt... Thu, 18 Jul 2013 13:15:30 EST Balancing Act I have a brand new 11 week old son who is awesome! I'm on maternity leave for another 5 weeks and have the time to work out and plan my food. Once my job starts again, it's going to get very hectic. I'm scared that I will let this slide and I won't be able to keep up with exercise or healthy cooking. <BR> <BR> My biggest challenge will be to balance taking care of my baby, quality time with my spouse, keeping up with my home, keeping up at work, and taking care of my fitness and health! <BR... Fri, 25 Jan 2013 16:09:24 EST Whining Ok..I had just written a blog about my off track week and how I was expecting too much of myself..then I went and looked at the SparkPages of other people and realized it sounded like whining. What was truly talking in that last blog was the part of myself that goes, "I don't wanna do this...I don't wanna work out instead of watch TV...I don't wanna skip that cupcake..I don't wanna take time to log my food..WWAAHHH". <BR> <BR> that whiny girl I you like being over 200 pounds... Sat, 17 Mar 2012 13:19:26 EST off track week This week zipped by so fast and I find myself today reflecting on how I barely tracked my food and only did one workout. It's not that I didn't want to do's like the days went by without me being mindful. My roadblocks this week were...eating out too much, not getting enough sleep, not eating enough during the day which made me tired. I did the whole, "I can't today, I'll get back on track tomorrow" thing. <BR> <BR> Well, I'm not letting that string of days pull me all the way bac... Sat, 10 Mar 2012 14:35:45 EST sweatshirt proof! I just put on a sweatshirt that i hadnt comfortably been able to pull down over my waist and hips. I was able to pull it down! Wooo Hooooo! <BR> <BR> Sun, 4 Mar 2012 14:27:46 EST Priority Today I started a great book, lounged all morning, got some housecleaning done, and really really really wanted to lounge again! <BR> <BR> But I wanted that feeling of completing my workout and feeling like I earned my lounge time! So I laced up my shoes, walked the dog, then came back and did all that I had to do for my 28-day Bootcamp. <BR> <BR> Time to really lounge and know that I earned it!! Sat, 3 Mar 2012 22:32:36 EST Saw a little change.. I was comparing myself in the mirror to a photo that I took about 7 pounds ago...I see a little difference :) <BR> <BR> Looking forward to two weeks from now when my 28-day Bootcamp will be done and I'll be taking measurements! <BR> <BR> Made a huge crockpot of veggie soup today: chicken stock, one can of tomato basil soup from Campbells Healthy Selects, a couple handfuls of frozen Normandy Blend veggies from Costco, a few mushrooms, half an onion, and two cans of green beans. Spiced it u... Sat, 3 Mar 2012 21:26:40 EST A Monumental Achievement I did something I've never done before. I gave away 2 boxes of Thin Mints and 1 box of Do-Si-Do's. They went on the staffroom table at work and were gone within a half hour! <BR> <BR> Now, it may seem silly. I don't have to have complete deprivation. A couple of Girl Scout cookies won't do much to my program. However, that is not how I eat Girl Scout cookies. I do not daintily take two or three from the box and feel satisfied. No. Eating Thin Mints means curling up under a blanket, turni... Wed, 29 Feb 2012 20:44:27 EST Want To Remember This Time I finished my first week of the 28 day Spark challenge..5 days of cardio and 7 toning videos! Well, there were two videos I didn't do because they were similar to a big strength circuit that I did myself. <BR> <BR> I want to remember where I am in this moment so that when I feel like I can't keep going, I can read this and recharge my motivation. <BR> <BR> Today I am extremely proud and empowered. I exercised 5 days and logged every single bite I took. I did this along with cleaning the... Mon, 27 Feb 2012 00:47:40 EST Slow and steady... The scale is moving down..but after a long week of good exercise I wanted to see more. I know that's typical of someone like me who is absolutely lacking in patience! But instead of being frustrated at the small loss, I thought about what else was lost besides body weight! <BR> <BR> I lost the desire to sit on the couch and eat fried fast food...did Subway instead. <BR> <BR> I lost the desire to have cookies or ice cream in front of the TV..had a large mug of tea sweetened with Stevia inst... Sat, 25 Feb 2012 13:53:54 EST Wait, did I just WANT to get home so I could work out? So I was just at dinner with some colleagues and I was getting antsy toward the end and felt ready to leave. I was actually thinking about my workout music and getting on my elliptical and it made me excited to get home. WHAT? seriously? Yeah, seriously!! Tue, 21 Feb 2012 22:44:29 EST Crabby Pants This weekend has been a huge success for me in terms of building momentum. I've done some healthy cooking and have worked out everyday. The challenge will be to keep it going during the work week. I have a lot of long days ahead and I will not push my goals to the back! <BR> <BR> One thing I did notice this weekend was a little crabby person inside who didn't want to not get the curry chicken salad on a croissant for lunch, who didn't want to exercise, who didn't want to spend 30 minutes o... Tue, 21 Feb 2012 01:02:26 EST Today - One Day At A Time I decided not to title my Blogs with the number of the day. I start saying to myself.."well, it's day should've lost more.." and that is not the kind of self support I need. It's a one-day-at-a-time process and, therefore, today is "today". <BR> <BR> This week I didn't exercise hardly at all and even gave in to McDonald's. It was right after the success of seeing a 1.4 pound loss. This self-sabotage is something I've done numerous times. I know that it has to do with the fear of ... Fri, 17 Feb 2012 19:06:44 EST Days 22-24 This weekend has been wonderful. I've caught up with friends and had delicious food while being sensible and responsible with my health. Not a lot of exercise has happened since Wednesday, so a work out is in store today. Having a balance instead of an all-or-nothing attitude is working for me. I'm also down 1.4 pounds this week! <BR> <BR> Another Crock Pot trial is happening today. A large can of La Victoria green enchilada sauce, a can of black beans, a can of diced tomatoes, a half an oni... Sun, 12 Feb 2012 15:39:07 EST Days 18-21 Not much to blog lots of exercise in this week and days are 1600 calories and under!! Feeling very in control! Fri, 10 Feb 2012 00:55:26 EST day 16 & 17 telling the truth This weekend I took a bold step and spoke truths to my mother. I basically have an emotionally detached mother who doesn't understand that her words and actions can be negative. I spoke how I felt about recent events that occurred and she is deflecting most of it and making it about me and my fault. I have been in this situation many times before since I was a teenager. Communicating with her is like talking to a wall or screaming into the wind. In the past though I end up second guessing... Mon, 6 Feb 2012 00:36:16 EST Day 15 This week threw me off. My challenge is making sure I put myself first above everything else. I've been letting work take over....again. Sat, 4 Feb 2012 00:43:10 EST Day 14 - Recognizing what stress does to me I've dealt with depression and anxiety for years, but have managed it with no medication. Lately the anxiety has crept up rather strongly. I have learned through therapy and self-help how to diffuse it and get to the root. I recognized today that any and all stress sits in me rather than me processing it and releasing it. I've been feeling extreme dissatisfaction with my job and am wanting a position that may be opening in a different school. I've also had weight on my shoulders due to my st... Sun, 29 Jan 2012 13:39:03 EST Day 13 -- an off week I had a tough week..we had a power outage for nearly three days that threw us in to eating out. I then had to attend a conference and work the past 7 days straight..long days meant less likelihood of exercise or monitoring my food. And I didn't log on at all to Spark. <BR> <BR> I'm recognizing that I tend to have a hard time with moving forward with lifestyle changes when things in my personal life are tough: work stress, long hours, family struggles, lethargy, and depression. But I can't tr... Sat, 28 Jan 2012 20:05:42 EST Day 13 - the addiction tried to speak up it's day 3 of staying home with a foot of snow outside. It was so tempting to want to be a couch potato and get some TV snacks. I knew I didn't want to go down that road, so I planned a healthy breakfast, lunch, and accounted for air popped popcorn. We took two good walks in the snow today, too. I noticed that there was a bit of time where I got short tempered and realized it was my food addiction stomping its feet wanting to be satisfied. It was my addiction to hunkering down under a blanke... Wed, 18 Jan 2012 22:55:42 EST Day 12 - Held Up the Mirror Last night my husband and I took our measurements and took "before" pictures of each other. They are now hanging on the door along with a calendar to mark our progress on our 100 days of 10+ minutes of exercise. He turned to me after looking at the photos and said, "wow, we're a chunky couple." I really was taken aback at how I looked because the girl in the photo is not who I think I'm presenting to the world on a daily basis. Inside I'm alive, colorful, vibrant..I have dreams and goals. ... Wed, 18 Jan 2012 13:46:06 EST Day 11 - Visions and Dopamine On this snowy day I made a Vision Collage. I've done this in the past, but what I realized when I compared past collages to this one is that it's less about what I want to acquire material-wise, and more about how I want to transform from the inside out. <BR> <BR> A big A-Ha happened while I was making it...If I dream big and start to move toward the life i want, I have to be willing to accept the blessings I reap. I can't hold on to the belief that I don't deserve the best life, or that I'l... Tue, 17 Jan 2012 18:47:22 EST Snowed In - Day 10 Snowy day for the third day in a row! Laziness has abounded, but up today housecleaning and will get a home workout in later. <BR> <BR> Night snacking has been really hard to break. I usually like to stay up late and TV goes with snacks! In the past I've been successful having just a hot mug of tea or cocoa..just having that hand-to-mouth is comforting. Feeling like I can plan for it and count snacks into my calorie count for the day is comforting. Not having to take away that indulgence... Mon, 16 Jan 2012 16:40:35 EST Day 9 It's about 1:30am on Day 9 and there is a realization that I am coming to which is extremely frightening and exciting at the same time. I now understand that the weight I've kept on for years has been my excuse to stay keep away from stay safe and predictable. It represents unfulfilled dreams and desires. It represents a self that is buried. <BR> <BR> I've known that shedding the weight also means waking up buried desires and taking risks. I've had a deep desire ever s... Sun, 15 Jan 2012 04:34:23 EST Day 5, 6, 7, 8 I didn't check in with myself..I got overwhelmed at work and overtired. The result? No blogging, no food tracking, take out dinners, couch potatoing..falling into habits. <BR> <BR> I could say it was due to having, that's not a good excuse either. <BR> <BR> There's no excuse for abandoning myself and my goals and falling into the act of letting life happen to me instead of being aware, present, with a front row seat for my own goals. <BR> <BR> Yesterday I had a negative expe... Sat, 14 Jan 2012 13:33:02 EST Day 4 Doing a little blog each day seemed a little tedious, but I'm now finding it's a way to check in, reflect, and take a breath. <BR> <BR> I had a busy day with my students and got really tired after lunch with battling this darn bout of shingles. Luckily it's mild, but painful enough to drive me nuts! But, nevertheless it was a great day with my kids. <BR> <BR> I planned a snack to take to my union meeting, but decided to also indulge in some of the bread and artichoke dip that was also the... Tue, 10 Jan 2012 22:44:18 EST Day 3 Today was a very intentional food day. I planned my meals, ate deliciously, and didn't feel deprived! I did not get 10+ minutes of exercise in, though, but it was due to having to see the doctor and having a mild case of shingles. It isn't very much, but man it hurts! <BR> <BR> A goal is to try and get more sleep each night and drink more water! <BR> <BR> On to Day 4! Tue, 10 Jan 2012 01:58:59 EST Day 2 Started today with normal Sunday lounging and setting up a plan for the day..a few chores, trip to the store, finally hanging some frames of photos I took on our vacations. I'm feeling very peaceful today. Normally there is always a little run of anxiety just under the surface and..there might be a bit there..but mostly peace. <BR> <BR> I did my 10 minutes of movement yesterday on our elliptical and am planning at least 10 today. One minute at a time...not looking past today. I'm in a food r... Sun, 8 Jan 2012 13:58:57 EST Day 1 I'm taking a leap here and deciding to blog everyday about this journey. I've been hanging around Spark for awhile, but just with a toe dipped in. My husband and I had a very long talk last night about our health, our goals, and dreams. We want a baby this year, bottom line. We have been together nearly 12 years and have put it off..but now the desire is stronger than ever. But we don't want to be parents with these bad habits..couch potatoing, eating fast food, allowing our waists to grow wh... Sat, 7 Jan 2012 16:10:28 EST Keep Going! Don't Quit <BR> <BR> When you've eaten too much and you can't write it down, <BR> And you feel like the biggest failure in town. <BR> When you want to give up just because you gave in, <BR> and forget all about being healthy and thin. <BR> So What! You went over your [calories] a bit, <BR> It's your next move that counts...So don't you quit! <BR> It's a moment of truth, it's an attitude change. <BR> It's learning the skills to get back in your range. <BR> It's telling yourself, "You've done ... Sun, 9 Oct 2011 18:33:30 EST Remembering ME! My challenge for September as part of one of my Spark Teams: <BR> <BR> Remember why you joined SparkPeople... <BR> Remember why you wanted to lose weight in the first place! <BR> Remember that you are worth it! <BR> Remember that you can do it! <BR> Remember you will do it! <BR> Remember your goals! <BR> Remember to set goals! <BR> Remember to re-evaluate your goals! <BR> Remember to work on your goals! <BR> Remember to get in cardio at least 3 days a week, 5-6 for weight loss! <BR> Remember... Sun, 4 Sep 2011 14:45:06 EST