ADELLE1024's SparkPeople Blog ADELLE1024's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Steadily going down...183 When I stepped on my scale, I don't have a digital, I saw 160 peeking around the corner. I could see myself there already. I think one of the best things for me is looking forward, no matter how delusional I sound. I already see myself hitting 179, the only question is when. I bought 2 pairs of size 14 curvy pants and they are too loose. Due to my thunder thighs, I have to buy curvy pants, so I wonder if I buy a size 12, if I am really a size 12 or if it's considered 12W... it doesn't matter ... Sat, 12 Jan 2013 04:19:56 EST 185 and pleased I am happy with that number, though i wish it was more.. (I have been watching too many Biggest Loser reruns recently). I already see myself in the 170s. My goal doesn't seem too far off even though there is still a LOT of work to do. The lowest weight that I can recall as an adult is 160 in 2006, and I was a size 10. I am really bottom heavy, but once I reach 140, I will be able to better assess what I can maintain... I am a shorty so 107-141 is a healthy weight range according to the gov. <... Sun, 6 Jan 2013 09:40:01 EST 2013 Resolutions I am not big on resolutions and I haven't been for a while now. With that being said.... I am bringing them back! <BR> <BR> I need to quit smoking in 2013. I "only" smoke 3-4/day, but that still has detrimental effects. My goal is by February. I would say Jan 1, BUT I've been off from work for 1 week. My smoking is directly tied to my job, so I am setting myself up for disaster if I choose to quit tomorrow. It won't happen and why have so much pressure. <BR> <BR> Lose more weight- Reach my... Sun, 30 Dec 2012 19:11:40 EST So Sick.... But I worked out anyway. I woke up at 192 and I was like heck no. I have been slacking over the holidays, actually since Daylight savings. I can't go on my jogs/walks due to lack of daylight and now the cold weather, so I am doing an unorganized program indoors. I only gained a few but I know that I look softer. My belly and thighs are more jiggly. And I have more of a muffin top due to the softness. I just purchased a winter running vest and some gloves so I can get back out there. I am not ... Mon, 24 Dec 2012 12:54:28 EST Catch Phrases My "go to" phrase this year in my weight loss journey has been progress not perfection. That phrase works great if you deviate from your plan, feel remorseful but don't want it to lead to a full blown binge. It helps you realize that no one is perfect, but you are still making progress... This is no longer working for me because I am no longer progressing. It's not even winter yet officially, but I have already given up on losing drastic weight. <BR> <BR> So my new "go to" phrase is the bes... Sun, 16 Dec 2012 11:40:51 EST Critical with self, not so much others One of my friends asked me to be her health trainer and encourage her a few months ago. I was texting her today and she said that she has been eating horribly. When I inquired as to what she was eating, she said she was busy studying for finals, will catch up later. Um rejection. I deleted the thread out of anger. But it just bothers me how available I am to people that I care about, which isn't for me. <BR> <BR> If she was to text me again next week complaining about her weight, I would an... Sat, 15 Dec 2012 12:43:29 EST What dress to wear part 2 Thanks to everyone for you previous advice... but things have changed. I returned the form fitting dress and bought a sparkly number that I love. (loved) Now I am not so sure. I don't really want to look like I am wering a potato sack. And I will say that I don't know how to "work" anything. I wear layers and keep it at that. Anyway, these are the dresses that I am considering. I think I am gonna wear the sparkly one, I just HATE the sleeve cutouts. I think my arms look chunky in the slits. I... Wed, 5 Dec 2012 21:08:42 EST Thighs look broad... So a good Thanksgiving with family has been ruined,or tainted by my mother. After dinner was over, I was clearing up the table and my mom slapped my thigh.I was surprised and I asked her what's wrong. And she just stared. Why did you slap my thigh. And she said no reason. I asked if my jeans were too tight. And she said no... When I got home, I asked her why did she slap my thigh, she said that she thought that my thighs looked broad... I told her that I don't appreciate her hitting my thigh ... Fri, 23 Nov 2012 08:19:44 EST What to wear? What to wear to the work Christmas Party?!? I had one dress in my closet for 3 years that I bought in Brazil to wear to a wedding, but ended up just wearing what I brought there. So I have that one, and I have one that I bought at Macys last week. On the model it looks like <img src=""> <img src=""> It is a pretty dress. On me it looks scandalous <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeop... Thu, 22 Nov 2012 12:30:52 EST Going down.. 195 Today was better. I need to stop going on the scale so frequently, but I can't help it. I am glad that it's going down. I am in a weird mood. I was getting these intense period pains today at work and I don't have insurance yet. SO I was concerned. I made an appointment for Thursday (90$), but the results wouldn't come in for 2 weeks, and that is 1 week before my insurance is supposed to kick in. I couldn't stand for 20 mins, it was that intense. I hope it's nothing bad. <BR> <BR> I am in a... Mon, 5 Nov 2012 19:34:46 EST Went on the scale....and just stared These past 2 weeks have been harder than ever for my weight loss. My birthday was 10/24, and then we had to prepare for Sandy. This meant raiding the supermarket. And then I was off of work Monday and Tuesday which meant less movement. I got my period, so the pre Sandy raid was also PMSing. Also my commute to and from work was at least 2hrs each way, so I got no physical activity because I was too exhausted when I got home. Every time I got on the scale, it was a higher weight. This morning,... Sun, 4 Nov 2012 16:03:44 EST Still trucking.... I hope that everyone is doing well. I know that weight loss is a mixture of diet and exercise, but I feel that diet is more important. You can lose weight w/o working out (albeit slowly) but it is almost impossible in reverse. My goal this week is to input everything into my tracker to keep me honest. Right now I am ballparking it and maintaining, but I want to go forward. <BR> <BR> Have a good week y'all! Sun, 14 Oct 2012 18:04:25 EST Fighting the birthday blues Oy vey. Nothing is worse then the birthday blues (that isn't true, i know...) but it can be a real downer. Every year it is SOMETHING that I am focused on. I am at a better place mentally than I was last year... in fact ever, but still it is there and I am fighting hard against the looming depression... It is hard not to compare yourself to others... but <BR> <BR> What I am thankful, grateful and blessed to have... <BR> I have my health, a roof over my head <BR> 2 rambunctious cats that love... Tue, 9 Oct 2012 21:51:19 EST Update I have been eating like a banshee... aka an out of control woman. Happy hours, pancakes, pizza, wine, thai, maduros.... shall I continue. I am PMSing and have been so snappy and hungry. I am finally getting it together again after a week. My tummy is softer, but that's because I haven't really been exercising. It's odd, when I am not "on it", my body shows right away. It puts a lot of pressure on me to not drop the ball. I can't wait for the days where that is not the case. I fit a 14 finally... Mon, 1 Oct 2012 19:08:55 EST 188... aww yeah I have no idea what to do to celebrate... SO I am going to go for a jog, ha. <BR> <BR> Money is TIGHT, maybe I will buy some cheap heels and eye cream. I owe everyone, so I am making lots of payments and I put a little into savings. I have to start building my savings so I can move once my probation is over with my job... 5 more months. I can't believe I have been here for 1 month already!! <BR> <BR> I had a mini freak out a few nights ago when planning for my bday party next month. I will... Sat, 22 Sep 2012 09:42:27 EST Week's plan SO this week's plan is to continue what I have been doing, but now add some more exercise. I went to a work function on Friday and didn't eat any of the foods that were passed around.... at least not until dessert <em>211</em> . Some people took notice, but I really wasn't hungry due to a late lunch and anxiety. I got the "are you watching your weight" How do you answer that? I should have said, "why, do you think I need to" ha ha... I was like, oh I"m just not hungry. But the smells actua... Sun, 16 Sep 2012 18:05:51 EST 192... aww yeah Why is Coach Nicole always smiling. I don't smile like that when I exercise.... She is always on my front page doing some exercise <BR> <BR> Anyway, I have a busy day today ending with a dinner at an Italian restaurant. Yummy. I have been doing the Livefit program which is intense. I normally weight train after intense cardio, but my training consists of attempting to do 3 exercises, quitting half way if I get tired. But this program is 6-7 exercises, 3 sets of 12... My arms feel like rubber... Sun, 9 Sep 2012 10:30:32 EST 194... aww yeah So I finall earned more than 3 points on my daily spin. <BR> <BR> I am so tired. I am going to have some sleepy time tea and go to bed. I have been getting 5 hrs of sleep per night and I am a zombie. Albeit a highly functioning one. <BR> <BR> My appetite is gone. I have never ate so right in years. I haven't had ice cream since august 17th, no binges, just really measured eating. I am not ravenous. I am stressed and anxious, but I also really want to reach my goal, so it is that mix that is... Thu, 6 Sep 2012 20:09:49 EST Online Dating? Thanks ladies for your comments on my previous post. I think I will try some of those tips... <BR> <BR> I have been dabbling in online dating with NO success. In the beginning I sent questionnaires to eharmony men and messages to OK cupid men. But I got 0 takers. 2 of my friends told me that I should stop reaching out to men and wait for them. It's all about patience (my therapist disagrees). <BR> <BR> It's only been a month, but I am getting nowhere and this being on the back of my brain ... Mon, 3 Sep 2012 21:13:17 EST Staying steady... need to change gears I feel like those of us that are losing weight should get medals when we reach our goals. I don't know how something can be so simple yet so difficult at the same time. And you have to alter food plans at a moments notice to make up for splurges, unexpected parties or mood swings... And the fact that this is lifelong... <BR> <BR> I am still at 195.I need to reach the 180s at this point. But how to do it? My schedule has changed a lot with my new job. For the better, i think, but now i get ho... Sun, 2 Sep 2012 18:05:51 EST You need to lose weight! I went to the gyno because my insurance ends in a week and I needed to speak to someone. My normal gyno (someone i saw last year) was toooooooo busy to fit me in for an emergency so I saw a doctor I hadn't seen since 2009. I didn't like her the first time, perhaps it was me b/c that was when I was depressed and before I started believing in Christ. I was a different person back then.... Anyway, We had a discussion and she weighed me. She said oh you need to lose weight.... I was thrilled when... Fri, 24 Aug 2012 17:41:35 EST Still here I had a really messed up weekend, yes it's Thursday, but I am back on here. I haven't been bingeing or anything, just preoccupied. I have been off this week since I am in between jobs but I am trying to take this opportunity to recenter and focus. I can now jog without any pain, but its so hot I have to catch my breath. <BR> <BR> Eating has been fine, nothing really noteworthy. I realize that I have been anxious and holding my breath. I've never had a real issue with anxiety, it's mainly bee... Thu, 23 Aug 2012 13:03:38 EST Really Tim Tebow?? This post is not about weight, but about Tim Tebow's Jesus pose in GQ magazine. People LOVE this guy. LOVE HIM. He has allegedly brought people to God that normally wouldn't and you see kids doing his prayer pose. I wonder what their reaction will be after seeing this? Yes no one is perfect and we all make mistakes, but this is a big one. Did he pray about this or just run with it. Perhaps it was photoshopped and he was holding back a mob of or really has 2 water bottles in his hand, but I do... Wed, 15 Aug 2012 06:00:11 EST Awww Yea! - 198 Thank you Jesus! <BR> <BR> I have been getting some intense cravings after work. I've been getting random offerings of food from my sister (cheese? no thanks, I will take just the cracker) and at work (chocolate bar? Um I'll just eat my sour apple) but I don't care how I look. <BR> <BR> This is the best feeling. I went jogging on Sat and Sun, took Mon off and will go out today. I haven't been in the 190s since 2008. My stomach protrudes less in work shirts and it will only get better. My th... Tue, 14 Aug 2012 08:11:49 EST Good Day so far I am a volunteer at a local hospital and I am on call today, if there are any sexual assault victims. This is my first time on call and it is ROUGH. It's an 8AM to 8PM shift and I am here sitting by the phone ready to run out the door. I wonder if an overnight shift would be better. At least I would be sleeping while I anxiously wait. My training was in April, so I am reviewing my binder while I wait. 5 more hours left. <BR> <BR> I went jogging this morning. I was planning to go at 7AM, but ... Sat, 11 Aug 2012 15:00:26 EST Getting Control So this has been an emotional few weeks for me. I applied for a job in late May. Had 2 rounds of interviews in June and July, got rejected from it, then got it b/c the other person turned them down and I need to start in 3 weeks. I have been maintaining some semblance of cool, but I am nervous. Leaving the old after 4.5 yrs is big. ANd this new job I am obviously qualified for, but I am still nervous... I'm not sure why my eating has spiraled out of control, I am still hovering in the 200-203... Thu, 9 Aug 2012 00:46:19 EST Too concerned with numbers I think I watched the Biggest Loser too much. I got on the scale this morning and it said 200 even. My heart dropped. 200. Even though I have been 203 for 2-3 weeks and I should be happy but I haven't been 199 since 2008. From watching BL, I get so focused on monumental numbers. "I really want to be out of the 200s this week", etc. But it is just a number. <BR> <BR> I tried on a size 16P and they couldn't close, The 16W are loose yet still can't wear 14W. And everyday someone is commenting ... Wed, 1 Aug 2012 22:44:04 EST Do you see it? Because I DO!!! Finally... <BR> <img src=""> <img src=""> <img src=""> <img src=""> Sat, 14 Jul 2012 23:52:34 EST Down to 203 I went on the scale this morning and it read 203. I have been exercising and controlling my eating and this is the result. It is slow moving but each .5 is a reinforcing in my head that I will never gain all of that weight again. <BR> <BR> I am really trying to stay focused, not on the scale but on the journey. On choosing the next right action. If I bring in my luch from home, eat it. If I make dinner for the week, eat it and don't be so tired that I buy rather than heat it up. To exercise ... Thu, 7 Jun 2012 07:17:40 EST Accomplished Like my status update states, I completed a 4 mile race yesterday and I didn't come in last. It was a personal best as I have never done ANYTHING like that before. I feel very proud that my 200+ body was able to do that, but it really has put the fire in me to get healthy and do more. Stop abusing my body with crap food, but to nourish it. To stop being lazy and to always be active. <BR> <BR> My average mile was 15.35, so I was walking and jogging. For the next time, I want to get it to 12 ... Mon, 30 Apr 2012 10:02:16 EST Week 1- Goal 207 I have been in the 210- 216 range forever.. honestly it's been more than 3 months. I went to the MD on Wed and I was 210, but this morning I weighed 215. I feel dehydrated and I ate lots of crappy food on Friday, so I know that 207 is doable for me because those 5lbs aren't fat. <BR> <BR> When I reach 207, I will be thrilled because I will be breaking the longest plateau in history. I think I am scared to go under 200lbs. I don't know why. It's not like everything is going to change when I ... Sun, 19 Feb 2012 04:39:28 EST Goals spelled out I just watched an episode of Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition and realized that I have no real weight loss goal. I want to reach 120, but there is no time frame. If you haven't watched the show, they have 1 year to lose the weight and it is broken into 3 month intervals. <BR> <BR> I would love to reach my weight loss goal by October 20, 2012. Right before my birthday. According to SP, I should be 140 if I consistently follow the plan. It is 35 weeks until my birthday. So if I lost 2 lbs... Sat, 18 Feb 2012 13:16:33 EST Negativity My sister wanted to go dress shopping and get drinks yesterday with my other sister and I. I happily agreed, yet 1 hour before it turned into drinks and bar food instead. I still went. <BR> <BR> Today we spoke about going dress shopping for her, but I am canceling... My other sis (the one that doesn't even need the dress) said that is why I am called "the Cancelor." WOW... how sweet. I think that is a pretty crappy thing to say to someone. I told her that I need to work on my personal state... Sat, 18 Feb 2012 11:34:21 EST Throw out Scale? I am thinking about tossing it. Not giving it away to the Salvation Army but tossing it out the window. This expensive piece of crap scale is 5-7 years old, but it never gave me consistent readings. Ever. People complained about the same thing on Amazon. It jumps from 218-213- 222... I have no idea how much I weigh based on that. <BR> <BR> I do have another old school scale and that showed me hovering at 212 this morning... which means I lost the quitting cigarette poundage from last week. B... Tue, 7 Feb 2012 08:35:28 EST +2.4 lbs but smoke free?!? The Bad news is that I gained 2.4 lbs last week!!! <BR> The Good news is that I didn't smoke last week... <BR> <BR> Now I know that smoking is more harmful than the 2.4 lbs. But I keep thinking that I am only 5'1.5". With 215.4 lbs, I must look like a bowling ball with my belly that I try to suck in but it still thighs are not thunder thighs but the WHOLE thunderstorm and my large ass moves on it's own when I walk and I find it soooo embarrassing. I don't know why but in the past ... Sun, 5 Feb 2012 08:40:47 EST Headaches I mini-binged on crackers and cookies when I got home from work. But I was trying to cure myself. Today was a good day food-wise until 3:30- 4PM. I got this intense headache. This happens to me every Monday and my eating goes down hill from there. <BR> <BR> But not this week. I am not too pained by the cookies because it could have been worse and I could have eaten more. But I had some self control and took a nap. <BR> <BR> I just finished dinner and I still have this weird brain pressu... Mon, 30 Jan 2012 21:45:29 EST Today was good I spent most of the day sleeping. I took a sleeping pill on Saturday and I was knocked out for most of it. I did fit in exercise and laundry and a trip to the store. I also drank more water today than I have in a long time. Maybe 6 glasses. It is surprising easy and I am not running to the bathroom so I guess my body needs it. <BR> <BR> SO last weeks experiment was eating a sandwich for breakfast at home and eating cereal for lunch. I then had chili and a side salad for dinner. That worked w... Sun, 29 Jan 2012 21:53:36 EST Happy Hour, peer pressure and guts...Oh My! So I went to happy hour yesterday, but note that I didn't want to. It was a coworker's birthday and honestly, I was harassed to go, so I gave in. While drinking my first drink, someone asked what was wrong with me because the old me would have been on number 2. So true. And the comments continued. <BR> <BR> Not only are calories an issue (not really because in total I had 2 rum and cokes, 3-4 gin and tonics and 1 shot of Jameson-- i have a high tolerance and did not get drunk) I also shared ... Fri, 27 Jan 2012 05:01:21 EST Boo to the job hunt I have been losing my mind... literally. I started a new position in September and it is terrible. There is favoritism, the manager is MIA and the schedule doesn't rotate for me, and me only, so I have the worst shift everyday but for everyone else it differs. I was maintaining my exercise routine, diet and positive demeanor. But in the past few weeks it has all shot to hell. I started getting on my job hunting grind and that is a blow to self esteem if you let it. Constant rejection, leads t... Sun, 30 Oct 2011 11:44:20 EST What is it about food... That makes you think that it could fill you? I woke up from a nap. I thought that I could use early dinner perhaps.But that would make no sense since I've done nothing today. Hmm maybe I should go to the store to buy lunch for tomorrow and sweets for tonight. But so tired of eating sweets, it's no longer a treat when you have it often. <BR> <BR> So actually taking the minute that it takes to question my motivations is a part of mindfulness. I haven't thought about that in YEARS. Bu... Tue, 4 Oct 2011 17:58:51 EST Good day... SO I woke up this morning at 7:30ish and went outside. I walked, jogged for 45 mins (with cramps)..more walking than jogging but I was sweating and felt good. I came back home and did a complete upper body workout. Then I attempted to go to church... <BR> <BR> I actually went, but was not feeling it. Just like my career search, I know what I don't want, but not really what I want .The church was in a high school, so there were no crosses, I was dressed, but everyone else was casual. The MC w... Sun, 25 Sep 2011 16:30:33 EST Scale drama I stepped on the scale this morning... and it said 214!!! Up 2 pounds... I stepped on it 2 seconds late to make sure, 212.. so confused. My scale is digital, homedics, and on a hardwood floor. It gives body fat, water percentage, and a whole bunch of other statistics....But it can't get my weight right. <BR> <BR> I know that I should measure using a tape, but I find that arduous when it only takes me 10 seconds to step on the scale. The only problem is that it is not consistent... Sat, 24 Sep 2011 08:37:47 EST Slip ups and other thoughts.... As soon as I get home, I get hit with a wave of hunger and fatigue. When you are busy, you don't think about how hungry you are, but when you get home, it's just you and the fridge. I think it's so important not to have "bad" foods around. If you also don't carry a lot of money on you, you can safely make it home without buying or charging takeout. <BR> <BR> With that being said, self control is key. I have a box of triscuits or cereal that I can demolish and that would cause me to not have... Tue, 2 Aug 2011 20:53:19 EST