ADARKARA's SparkPeople Blog ADARKARA's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community The Perfect Storm Gives Away to Clear Skies Once again, I've recognized something about myself with the help of friends and family. <BR> <BR> I'm not particularly new age-y. I don't follow alternative medicine or get my tarot read. I only occasionally read my horoscope. I am interested in astrological sun signs (I am a Taurini, aka a Taurus-Gemini cusp baby) and I do believe that different people have different sensitivities to the world. I have, over time, come to believe that I am a bit of an empath. I used to just say I was a good... Fri, 30 Jan 2015 14:17:05 EST Of Inspiration, Impostors and Perspective First off, I'm going to apologize for something I don't need to apologize for. I apologize for my blogs being less about weight and physical health and food and more about my personal psychological issues. I don't need to apologize for this because to be honest, I think you guys like hearing about it. And today, I'm writing this not just to get it off my chest, but because I think it might be useful to someone out there. <BR> <BR> I've been hearing a word lately, spoken directly in relation... Sat, 24 Jan 2015 17:51:11 EST Is it Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)? Thanks to my SparkMama GSEATON for blogging about her SAD today. It got me thinking. <BR> <BR> My mood this winter has been fairly grim. I've noticed a leaning towards negativity (I'm no optimist on my best days, but I'm a realist) and frankly, it bothers me. I hate feeling down. I love to laugh and I want to laugh more. The last day or two I've felt really glum. I thought it was my anxiety, and while I do feel a very slight anxiety it's certainly not to the extent that it was around Thanks... Wed, 21 Jan 2015 16:37:40 EST Am I Doing This Right? <img src=""> <BR> <BR> At the very end of August of 2014 I hit my goal weight of 160 lbs. Not long after I added kettlebells to my workout routine and started eating to maintenance calories. Over the last 4 months, my weight has climbed 11 pounds. I wondered if I was screwing it up, if I was a failure at this maintenance thing. I justified the weight gain by saying that my clothes still fit fine, and even seemed looser. This was true, b... Tue, 20 Jan 2015 09:39:58 EST We're All Mad Here Plus A Measured Life Blog Post Thanks for all the lovely comments on my blog Saturday. Yesterday wasn't great for me either but today was good. Today was my TEA PARTY! I started out the day with a great workout (3 2-minute planks without a fail), then commenced prepping food: cucumber sandwiches, coronation chicken salad, scones, tiny corn muffins topped with ham and cheese, almond sandies, butternut squash tarts. While I prepped, I texted a friend, which lifted my mood considerably. Then I had my last session with Brian, ... Mon, 19 Jan 2015 20:39:55 EST Typing It Out Yesterday I was in what I call, a "funk". I had brain fog, I was lethargic. I wanted to stay warm in bed. What I didn't mention was that yesterday was the first day of TOM. Last night, as is usual for TOM, I was up several times in the middle of the night, and this morning I was so, so tired. I was so tired I laid down on the couch before making coffee. I soon realized this and put some on. My first (large) cup perked me up a bit. By this time, The Hubs had left for work, so I decided I would... Sat, 17 Jan 2015 11:10:59 EST There Is Magic Everywhere To say I didn't want to get out of bed this morning would be a lie. At 4:47 I was ready to get out of bed, but I wasn't ready to face the world. I made coffee, put on my fluffy pink robe and sat my backside on the couch under a blanket to work on my next blog for A Measured Life. I got distracted by SparkPeople and Facebook and Trivia Crack. Soon it was time to work out and I hauled my butt off of the couch and did it. Halfway through my abs, though, I gave up. Oh well, at least I got bells d... Fri, 16 Jan 2015 11:50:55 EST Planning a Tea Party My bestie, Lynn, and my friend Mia and I love going out for Afternoon Tea. It's an event for us, and not something we can do very often, because our schedules have varied greatly and because $20-25 a person can be cost-prohibitive. We all have unconventional schedules: Lynn works 3rd shift, my weekend is Sunday and Monday, and Mia is the proprietor of a very successful wedding hair & makeup business, so come wedding season she might as well not exist! So this coming Monday, we're having our o... Thu, 15 Jan 2015 06:10:49 EST Downtown Edna Brown and New Post on <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Today I had the express pleasure of seeing a wonderful old lady that I hadn't seen in more than a decade, Edna Brown. Edna, or "Neddie" to her friends, had been best friends with my Gran since before my father was even born. My dad's father died the year before I was born, and my Gran and Neddie moved in together: almost like the Golden Girls. Neddie had never married and had sort of been adopted into the family, s... Mon, 12 Jan 2015 20:58:25 EST For anyone who has, at any time, felt abnormal. <link><BR>his_day_for_the_bullied_and_beautiful?<BR>language=en#t-405385 </link> Sun, 11 Jan 2015 15:49:39 EST CONFESSIONS!!!!!!!! Oh, pshaw, I tell you guys everything! <BR> <BR> I told you about the Reeses cup mini binge via <link> </link> . I told you about the 7 Italian Sprinkle Cookies I ate in one sitting. I told you I have been slacking on my steps because of kettlebells (plus it's COLD outside). <BR> <BR> I may have neglected to tell you about the very mini Peppermint Pattie binge (3 small ones) I had the night after the Reeses binge. *awkward* <BR> <BR> And I've definitely not update... Sat, 10 Jan 2015 05:48:31 EST New Blog Post on! How to Lose 100 Lbs Without Losing Your Mind or Breaking the Bank Part II - Know what you consume. <BR> <BR> <link><BR>lose-100-lbs-without-losing-your-mind-<BR>or-breaking-the-bank-part-ii-know-what<BR>-you-consume/ </link> Fri, 9 Jan 2015 15:13:03 EST It's my Hump Day! (Plus new blog on So first: dinner. <BR> <BR> Last night I made Pulled Pork Stuffed Squash from Stupid Easy Paleo. <link><BR>-pulled-pork-stuffed-squash-paleo/ </link> I'm not going Paleo or anything, I'm just exploring lower-carb options to add to my rotation. This recipe is DEFINITELY going to be made again. I substituted pork loin for the pork shoulder and acorn squash for the delicata (because I have never actually SEEN delicata in my locale). It was AMAZE. <BR> <... Thu, 8 Jan 2015 06:48:29 EST Sparked by CATTUTT - Working on my Negative Behaviors It's snowing here! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> So my Spark Buddy CATTUTT is doing the Camp WannaBeFit Challenge and had to answer a questionnaire. Her blog is found here: <link><BR>urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=5847720 </link> <BR> <BR> She mentioned some negative habits she wanted to change for the better (self-disgust, self-loathing and regret) and it reminded me about my most recent thera... Tue, 6 Jan 2015 15:26:54 EST New Blog Post @ : Ploughman's Dinner! I just posted a "recipe" for a Ploughman's Dinner here: <BR> <BR> <link><BR>asy-ploughmans-dinner/ </link> <BR> <BR> Thanks for all your support, peeps! Mon, 5 Jan 2015 13:27:01 EST Weekly Menu <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Looking forward to trying the pulled pork stuffed squash and the pumpkin chili! Sun, 4 Jan 2015 10:47:12 EST New Post on! My second post on my non-Spark blog is up. Hope you enjoy! <BR> <BR> <link><BR>lose-100-lbs-without-losing-your-mind-<BR>or-breaking-the-bank-part-i-drinking-y<BR>our-calories/ </link> Fri, 2 Jan 2015 12:36:15 EST Don't Call It A Resolution (This blog is brought to you in part by "Stubborn Love" by the Lumineers because I woke up with it in my head this morning and it reminds me of a close friend.) <BR> <BR> If you've been friends with me a long time on SparkPeople, you may remember that I don't like New Years Resolutions much, so I don't make any. However, I've noticed that since reaching goal weight that I've been struggling to find my purpose when it comes to health. I decided several days ago that I need to set myself a few... Thu, 1 Jan 2015 08:04:06 EST Writing Project, Revealed! Hi everyone! <BR> <BR> Happy New Year! <BR> <BR> Today I'm launching my writing project and sharing it with you all. I've started a lifestyle blog! Don't worry, I'll still be blogging here in my usual frenetic, rambling manner. Hope you check out A Measured Life and read that, too. <BR> <BR> <link> </link> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> In 2015 I'm going to be brave and do things I've been afraid of doing ... Wed, 31 Dec 2014 15:14:24 EST Feeling Better & Menu Thanks everyone for all your kind words. I definitely think I was having an "it gets worse before it gets better" period, like Brian said. Today is the 3rd day in a row I haven't cried. So maybe I'm trending upward emotionally. I hope so. <BR> <BR> So I know it's already Tuesday but I went out for Indian food with a friend on Sunday and to a holiday party last night so I didn't need to cook anything either day. <BR> <BR> Tuesday: Crockpot Congee with Chicken (Congee is an Asian rice porri... Tue, 30 Dec 2014 13:16:00 EST I Survived Christmas and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt "It's not the LENGTH of the blog, it's how you USE it!" <BR> <BR> Ok so I didn't get a tee shirt. I actually got no clothes at all. <BR> <BR> As many of you know, my anxiety has been rampant lately. My counselor, Brian, said that it might get worse before it gets better. Ugh. It was pretty frickin' bad on Christmas Eve. Work was crap: it was way slow both in our brick and mortar store and on eBay this year. My boss spent much of the holiday season moping. Overall we made more money this ye... Sat, 27 Dec 2014 07:44:07 EST Of Hypnotherapy, Doctors and Steak (Mmmm, Steak) So Monday I had my first session of hypnotherapy. It was an interesting experience. Brian, my counselor, had me make a list of things I wanted to work on. I sat on the couch in his office, feet flat on the floor, and we started with focusing on relaxing all the muscles of my body, one set at a time: jaw, temples, forehead, neck, shoulders, back, legs, arms, etc. Then he asked me to imagine a staircase that led down to a safe place of my own choosing, where nothing could harm or upset me. He c... Wed, 24 Dec 2014 10:37:51 EST Christmas Week Menu This month has seriously run over me. Parts of it have been awesome, I mean, I've had at least one day that I would like to relive more than once. And other parts, such as my high level of hormonal anxiety, really, really sucked. <BR> <BR> BUT, the week of Christmas is here, and yet another week of food. <BR> <BR> Sunday: Potato & Sausage Lasagna (This pain in my butt consists of sliced potatoes, ricotta/parmesan/egg/spinach blend, Italian sausage/mushroom blend, and a bechamel sauce all ... Sun, 21 Dec 2014 16:48:32 EST Call Me Whatever You Want, Just Don't Call Me Late For Latkes (This blog is brought to you in part by Ed Sheeran's "Don't" because it is currently stuck in my head for no reason, haha. Probably because I heard it on the radio the other day.) <BR> <BR> So I wanted to write a blog yesterday, other than the Ugly Holiday Sweater entry, but work became so crazy I didn't get the chance. While I am definitely exaggerating when I say this: the worse possible thing that could have possibly happen happened at work yesterday. I was asked to call customers about a... Sat, 20 Dec 2014 06:52:24 EST Sparkpeople Ugly Holiday Sweater Contest Here is my Boss man's sister, Sunny, wearing her Hanukkah sweatshirt! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> Fri, 19 Dec 2014 12:07:17 EST Weekly Menu Hey all! <BR> <BR> I'm feeling much, MUCH better today, thanks. I'm still not back to normal, but I really think a large majority of my mood is related to hormones this week. (As in, I still have anxiety for a reason I can't define, but if the calendar is right I should feel right as rain in a day or two.) <BR> <BR> So anyway, I've been slacking on my menus lately, at least posting them, so here you go: <BR> <BR> Sun: Ham (mmm, ham) with Scalloped Potatoes & Broccoli (I do a cheesy scallop... Wed, 17 Dec 2014 05:47:52 EST Struggling I am not doing well emotionally today at all. Hubs and I are working on our marriage. We both want it to work, but are somewhat struggling right now with working towards solutions. In the process of working on this, I've had a bit of a downturn in self esteem. I have no idea what I'm good at, other than being pretty self-aware of my emotions and thought process. I guess I'm also good at accomplishing something if I decide I want to, like losing weight or working out. I want to keep improving,... Tue, 16 Dec 2014 16:32:10 EST Zee Quilt, She is Done! <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I decided to sign it in fabric pen as opposed to embroidering. Because, well, I'm LAZY. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I also have butter mints drying, and tonight will make Fleur de Sel Caramels and maybe cookies. I'm on a roooooooll. Sun, 14 Dec 2014 15:19:37 EST Winter Isn't So Bad Sometimes (This blog brought to you in part by "Sideways" by Citizen Cope.) <BR> <BR> I didn't really want to get out of bed this morning. Five AM in December is a cold, dark hour. Plus it's Saturday, a day when most people are sleeping in, dreaming sweet dreams and waking up with the sun with a smile. But, again, it's Saturday, so it's a work day for me. So I got my sweet *ss out of bed and made coffee and hopped on Spark to check blogs and log my food for the day. I have been logging everything as b... Sat, 13 Dec 2014 10:39:38 EST As Requested (This blog brought to you in part by Joe Purdy's song "Andrea" because THAT'S MY NAME!!!!! Do you know how hard it is to find a song with my name in it?! Or with hazel eyes in it? Thanks, Kelly Clarkson!) <BR> <BR> Pic of new jacket: <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Pic of the necklace and earrings I mentioned I was going to make: <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Hope it's not too... Thu, 11 Dec 2014 16:23:25 EST O Holy Crap! (This blog is brought to you in part by "Days Are Forgotten" by Kasabian.) <BR> <BR> Forgive me Sparkies for I have sinned. It has been EIGHT DAYS since my last blog. <BR> <BR> Time for a minor freak out. <BR> <BR> IT'S ONLY 2 WEEKS UNTIL CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!! WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <BR> <BR> I have put up NO decorations, written NO Christmas cards, I haven't ordered our prime rib and don't have the quilt finished. (Ok, it's almost finished, I just need to put the edging on. It will be in... Wed, 10 Dec 2014 16:24:29 EST The Randomness is Back! I am sitting here at work rocking out to Arctic Monkeys' "Stop The World I Wanna Get Off With You" and enjoying my lunch (mashed butternut squash with cinnamon and homemade crepes with leftover turkey breast and swiss) and bouncing in my chair. <BR> <BR> I feel good today. I got a crap ton accomplished this morning. I (finally) pinned the quilt, and tonight I'm going to start doing the actual quilting bit. Then I got the fixings for split pea with ham soup in the crockpot, and made chocol... Tue, 2 Dec 2014 13:39:29 EST Ready to go Back to my Routine (Kinda ranty, sorry) (This blog is brought to you in part by "Happiness" by The Fray. I seem to be on kick of The Fray this week, despite not even really listening to them lately! And also "Get Home" by Bastille) <BR> <BR> I am a person of routine. I used to think I wasn't, but I am. I like things to go how I expect them to go, and when that's shaken up, it throws me for a loop sometimes. So holidays screw with me often. Thursday was a good day. I was busy for the most part during the day and in the evening I go... Sat, 29 Nov 2014 10:58:31 EST Heartless?! This blog is brought to you IN FULL by The Fray's cover of "Heartless" by Kanye West because the turkey breast I got for Thanksgiving didn't come with any giblets or neck, and NO HEART! I was supposed to be having my own personal Thanksgiving tradition of eating the turkey heart every year and Shadybook Farms ruined it for me! <BR> <BR> So anyway, I had a pretty darned good Thanksgiving this year. It was super low key. I rolled out of bed at 5:45 to discover I was the last person up. We lou... Fri, 28 Nov 2014 11:10:11 EST Thanksgiving I'm not going to have time to blog tomorrow, so I'm going to get a jump on things. <BR> <BR> First: Workout this morning sucked. I made it through 2 of the 3 rounds and then felt like I was going to pass out. Probably should go back to eating something before my workout. On top of this, my MIL decided she was going to sit on the couch and just watch me work out. Uhm. Didn't like that so much. So I quit after round 2 and hung my head between my legs (literally) while my English muffin was in... Wed, 26 Nov 2014 10:20:09 EST Another Quickie So my hubs did something the other day that I told him I was going to blog about, and I haven't, and he keeps asking me about it, haha. <BR> <BR> Weds night I came home from work and felt a little cranky because my blood sugar was all weird and messing with me for some reason. I felt weak and moody and ravenous, but I had to cook the food before we ate. He asked me if he could help with anything, so I joked: <BR> <BR> "Yes you can peel me a tangerine and feed it to me while I cook." <BR> ... Mon, 24 Nov 2014 15:55:00 EST Of Afternoon Tea, Renewing Friendships, Pigs and A Cinderella Moment So if you read me regularly you'll know I am trying to renew some friendships that I've let fall by the wayside. Yesterday I had brunch with my friend Mia. Mia is a very successful hair and makeup stylist. Right now she does mostly weddings, but she just launched a line of makeup so hopefully she'll have a steadier year-round income. She works her butt off and she deserves all the success she gets, because she earns it. However, in hanging out with her yesterday I was reminded of some of the ... Mon, 24 Nov 2014 06:29:44 EST Fruit & Quinoa Stuffed Acorn Squash Recipe <link><BR>l.asp?recipe=2832878 </link> <BR> <BR> <BR> Fruit & Quinoa Stuffed Acorn Squash <BR> <BR> 2 acorn squash, halved and seeded <BR> 3/4 cup red quinoa <BR> 1 cup onions, chopped <BR> 1/2 cup Trader Joes Golden Berry Blend <BR> 1 oz. slivered almonds <BR> 2 T butter, divided <BR> 1 T Garam Masala <BR> Salt & Pepper to Taste <BR> <BR> <BR> Directions <BR> Preheat oven to 400 degrees. <BR> <BR> Place acorn squash... Sun, 23 Nov 2014 16:06:43 EST In A Perfect World... ...I would be here: <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> With a cup of hot tea and a good book. And maybe a sexy half-naked man, but honestly today that's optional. I kinda just want to sleep. And not do the 150 things on my to do list. <BR> <BR> *sigh* Sat, 22 Nov 2014 12:34:35 EST My Crazy Wonderful Morning (This blog brought to you in part by Arctic Monkeys' R U Mine? because I was lucky enough to hear it on the radio during my morning debacle.) <BR> <BR> It's not even noon yet and my morning has been a little nuts. <BR> <BR> Like every Wednesday, I got up at 5, emptied my bladder, made coffee, weighed myself (170.0 ugh) and sat down to read some stuff on my phone. Bingley curled up with me, and was mad when I got up to make myself a cup of coffee, but settled back down when I got back to th... Wed, 19 Nov 2014 12:24:27 EST Good Food: A Blessing and A Curse It's a Fireplace Day today. By that I mean it's cold outside, cold enough to wear gloves, and a little overcast, and all I want to do right now is throw on my flannel PJs and my robe and curl up under a blanket. There's only one problem with this: I don't have a fireplace. Boo. That and my Aunt is visiting from Florida and leaves tomorrow so I want to see her before she leaves, so I can't PJ it, I've got to clothes it. I want to see my aunt but I am not in "venture outside and deal with peopl... Sun, 16 Nov 2014 13:15:25 EST Of Wisdom, Guidance, and the Season of Giving A lot of people I know lately have off-handedly commented to me about how *old* they are. I don't mean they're saying "oh I'm 27" I mean "oh God, I'm so old." <BR> <BR> This thought doesn't strike me often. I don't feel old. I've never felt old. (Okay, once, when I was entertaining a pair of merchant services processors for my Bossman while he was helping a customer and one of them told me he was born in 1994. I felt old then.) I've always, *always* felt too young. I've always been a little... Sat, 15 Nov 2014 07:26:33 EST Of Energy, Projects, Clothes and Snow (and some other things) (This blog brought to you in part by "Happy Little Pill" by Troye Sivan) <BR> <BR> I have energy this morning. A surplus. <BR> <BR> I woke up before the alarm after a dream reminded me of some of my insecurities. I spent a half hour or so sipping coffee and thinking. I decided I didn't want to feel anxious today (it IS that time of my cycle where anxiety gets to me, but I had a surplus of brooding on Monday night/Tuesday so I told myself NO) so I got up off my butt and did stuff around the... Thu, 13 Nov 2014 11:23:56 EST Veteran's Day Rambles First off: I finished the quilt topper! Evidence, with feet! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I bought the batting and some bent safety pins but I need to go back and get the backing and bias tape because I forgot to bring a sample of the fabric with me for reference. <BR> <BR> So this morning, as usual, I was up at 5. For some reason I was flipping the channels and I came across a documentary called "The Last Patrol". Here's a synop... Tue, 11 Nov 2014 13:38:22 EST Fighting Something? I'm still in that vague place between illness and allergies. Still a tiny sore throat, still a little sore back, slight achyness all over and TIRED. I'm sleeping just fine. Last night I got into bed around 9 and didn't wake up until the alarm went off at 5, just like the night before and the night before that. So it's not like I'm not sleeping. I just don't feel rested. My sinuses are bothering me just a tiny bit today but mostly I feel tired in my face. Does anyone know what I mean by that? ... Sat, 8 Nov 2014 12:52:31 EST The Early Morning Rambles Are Back! Okay, so, I'm blogging from my phone, so forgive me if it's weird textually. <BR> <BR> (This blog is brought to you in part by the droning of my refrigerator as it's just turned 6 am and I've already used the songs that are currently stuck in my head in previous blogs.) <BR> <BR> Things are pretty good here. Nothing super special going on. I'm still avoiding sewing, but I've got a free weekend so I'm going to make myself watch silly movies and run the machine. I *know* I can finish the top... Thu, 6 Nov 2014 06:35:18 EST Two Months of Kettlebells Jeans Comparison Shot (this blog is brought to you by Bush's The Only Way Out, which is one of my current obsessions. Plus a couple of lines of it are particularly poignant to me just now: <BR> <BR> "Follow me down to the water <BR> Through the trip wires in your head <BR> Through the seven layers <BR> of your holy bed <BR> <BR> Where there is no one guard <BR> But a series of systems" <BR> <BR> Sounds like my brain, no? <BR> <BR> BTW, I only realized a few days ago that Bush has been putting out consistently ... Tue, 4 Nov 2014 07:58:29 EST In Which I Realize Something About Myself and Emulate Tolstoy (I want to preface this ridiculously long psychological slog through my mind with telling you that I am not telling you any of this because I feel like a victim. I'm simply working through something internal, and it requires backstory. My past is my past, and it happened, and nothing is going to change that. I'm just trying to move on from the fallout.) <BR> <BR> My status update this morning was the following: <BR> <BR> "It's true what they say. Losing weight and getting healthy will not s... Fri, 31 Oct 2014 12:02:50 EST Live In The Moment Sorry if I'm whispering. I don't know why I was speaking so quietly. Maybe in reverence of nature. <em>211</em> <BR> <BR> UGH And sorry about all the vibraty noises. I figure out someone was sending me messages from Facebook Messenger. <BR> <BR> (This blog is brought to you in part by Tove Lo's "Habits" because it gets played on the radio so much I never quite get it out of my head.) <BR> <BR> Hey all! Just a bit of life philosophy this time. Nature called and I answered. <BR> <BR> ... Mon, 27 Oct 2014 19:31:31 EST I Appreciate You I think most of us are here for a lot of the same reasons, the most important of which is support. <BR> <BR> We support each other by sharing successes, failures, recipes, workouts, strategies. We also support each other with compliments. <BR> <BR> I wrote a blog not long ago about working on accepting compliments. We have to work on not putting ourselves down to others, and not using abusive language in our own heads. I've never been one to put myself down internally much, but I do have ... Sat, 25 Oct 2014 15:27:10 EST