ABURRIS2's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=ABURRIS2 ABURRIS2's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ tenderness http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6245755 After more than a year away from here, I find myself feeling ghostly and tender in this attempt to reestablish habits and perhaps relationships. A year can hold so much! However, there is such beauty in the gift of beginning again and I am holding on to that with gratitude today. Mon, 3 Oct 2016 14:28:20 EST new joy http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5347919 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/7/3/l739189057.jpg"> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/6/l1618896408.jpg"> <BR> Violet at 4 weeks Mon, 6 May 2013 21:39:39 EST 30 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5000961 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/6/5/l656880533.jpg"> <BR> <BR> With a bit of zoom, this is the view from the deck of our new home. <BR> <BR> How we got there, though we have yet to physically get there, is a long and painful story involving being forced out of the old family home, casting about for some firm footing, finally settling beside the San Lorenzo river in Ben Lomond. <BR> <BR> Today, I can feel much of the emotional mess receding into acceptance and occasional mome... Sat, 4 Aug 2012 16:46:05 EST 29 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4883560 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/3/l134158102.jpg"> <BR> I was able to wish my mother a happy 88th birthday in person. <BR> <BR> Beautiful. Wed, 16 May 2012 03:07:04 EST 28 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4841895 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/8/l282738221.jpg"> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/9/0/l908958147.jpg"> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/8/2/l822227199.jpg"> <BR> Another beauty to bring a smile every time, my sweet pea. Thu, 19 Apr 2012 00:48:18 EST 27 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4830801 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/4/3/l438676235.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Beauty that brings a smile every time... Wed, 11 Apr 2012 18:46:07 EST 26 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4796126 Today was a rare occasion for me, home alone with no outside expectations. I love the quiet and find myself sitting, more often than not, sort of basking in the stillness. At one point, I watched a big and healthy coyote walk across the deck right up to the back door where I was standing, inspecting the area. He gave me one long look before turning to leave, so confident in his belonging, giving me a pang of something like envy. <BR> <BR> Beautiful. Tue, 20 Mar 2012 01:52:50 EST 25 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4792854 My current favorite, yellow eyes from Rancho Gordo: <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/1/l114819794.jpg"> <BR> Beautiful, aren't they? Sun, 18 Mar 2012 01:13:01 EST 24 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4760878 Beauty's been elusive these last days, fleeting moments lost amid hurt and dismay. Saddening. I am grateful it found me today, in stretched out time of quiet conversation and silence with a new friend, sitting in the dirt with the sun warming our backs. Freedom. Kinship. Joy. <BR> <BR> Beautiful. Tue, 28 Feb 2012 01:43:41 EST 23 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4752493 My son was born 34 years ago today. I was 23. My firstborn, he brought much joy and much heartache to my life. After many difficult years, both to experience and to witness, he is in a place of beauty...happy, healthy, wonderfully employed and loved by a wife and child. How astounding...yet another thing bowing my head to the ground in gratitude. Thu, 23 Feb 2012 01:51:33 EST 22 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4744284 Beauty= My son's birthday gift to me was an evening at a club in SF sitting right in front of Leo Kottke, a guitarist I fell for almost 35 years ago. I've seen and heard him many times over the years but none was so special as last night with my son. <BR> <BR> Pretty cool. Sat, 18 Feb 2012 01:33:05 EST 21 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4740024 Auntie Jenny, my daughter, is a Valentine baby and this was her gift from our joy germ...so open and genuine. Beautiful. Wed, 15 Feb 2012 11:35:23 EST 20 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4734578 Today was a hard day. Feet to the fire kind of hard. <BR> <BR> I did not erupt. I did not run, hide or cry. I did not say anything to regret. <BR> <BR> I did manage one step of detachment and, for the most part, stood in a place of calm. I don't know what the next days will bring but today, this was a beautiful gift. Sun, 12 Feb 2012 00:51:08 EST 19 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4731707 Our 4 year old granddaughter Sophia was playing hopscotch and REALLY wanted company. When a certain someone said the hopping was too hard on the back, she simply replied, "Well, you could try walkscotch!" and proceeded to demonstrate. <BR> <BR> One could hardly refuse. She's more beautiful every day. Fri, 10 Feb 2012 01:33:00 EST 18 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4728015 I've been trying to put words to the movement I'm feeling inside but can't seem to do it, particularly when faced with others' eloquence that speaks so clearly. Sometimes, just a sentence or two about striking beauty feels like an accomplishment but it is a habit I want very much to continue. So, I try. <BR> <BR> There is a long story of the last seven years bringing as many life-altering events, establishing an awful pattern of crisis-coping-recuperating ad nauseum, leaving me choking on a ... Tue, 7 Feb 2012 22:30:31 EST 17 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4722409 I had a beautiful time of retreat, honoring this day of my birth 57 years ago, ripe with poetic imagery...I'll share this: <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/9/l292250049.jpg"> Sat, 4 Feb 2012 19:32:55 EST 16 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4718862 beautiful first blooms <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/3/9/l39045728.jpg">camellia <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/3/8/l388665618.jpg">ballerina rose <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/5/6/l569395407.jpg">sweet william <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/7/5/l752989139.jpg">quince Thu, 2 Feb 2012 15:30:45 EST 15 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4717790 Beautiful day... <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/9/9/l99277229.jpg"> Thu, 2 Feb 2012 01:19:41 EST 14 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4715541 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/9/6/l960789328.jpg">beautiful birthday <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/4/6/l463090236.jpg"> Wed, 1 Feb 2012 00:18:52 EST 13 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4713550 beauty came whispering today... heads bent over the bounty in a yarn shop, daughter and I...oh, the love and all that dreamy softness! looking back, it seems clear she's planning for a baby... <BR> <BR> oh my... Tue, 31 Jan 2012 01:34:21 EST 12 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4706357 Beauty beyond doubt: <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/7/4/l743046429.jpg"> Fri, 27 Jan 2012 02:00:31 EST 11 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4702486 I love the freshness after heavy rain. It beckons...slow down, breathe deep, look around you, smile. <BR> <BR> It's so satisfying to restore neatness and order to my home. We live in a casual, messy way with many signs of busyness, including toys and books. Manymany toys and books. It's been a long while since I felt strong enough to do more than a minimum, more for safety than satisfaction, but the last few days I've had good sleep, good energy and much less pain. So, taking advantage of th... Wed, 25 Jan 2012 02:18:36 EST 10 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4700314 Beauty today: <BR> <BR> ~finding charm in imperfection <BR> ~harmonies to a new-to-me melody tumbling into awareness unbidden <BR> ~feeling the swell of love in response <BR> ~creating a gift from my heart for my daughter <BR> ~preparing her room for her visit this week...gladly <BR> ~smiles brought by sparksisters (thank you!) <BR> Tue, 24 Jan 2012 01:56:21 EST 9 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4698085 Beautiful Mary Oliver (from White Pine): <BR> <BR> Grass <BR> <BR> Those who disappointed, betrayed, scarified! Those who would still put their hands upon me! Those who belong to the past! <BR> <BR> How many of us have weighted the years with groaning and weeping? How many years have I done it how many nights spent panting hating grieving, oh, merciless, pitiless remembrances! <BR> <BR> I walk over the green hillsides, I lie down on the harsh, sun-flavored blades and bundles of grass; the... Mon, 23 Jan 2012 02:09:36 EST 8 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4696195 ~3lb loss, <BR> ~raking leaves during a break in the rain <BR> ~favorite butternut stew <BR> ~afternoon rest <BR> ~quiet evening <BR> <BR> Beautiful day...just what I needed. Sun, 22 Jan 2012 01:55:39 EST 7 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4694578 Beautiful: <BR> <BR> ~rosy-faced, laughing joy germ <BR> ~puddle stomping <BR> ~ohh, I love you gramma <BR> ~rain on the roof at bedtime <BR> Sat, 21 Jan 2012 01:52:42 EST 6 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4692576 My friend had huge spine surgery today, oh so complicated and complex. What a gift to her life that this is possible and she had the right doctors to do it! The outcome was good, as planned with no surprises, and she'll be home in just a few days. I do understand that the real work for her begins then but for now, I am just so grateful and in awe of the miraculous nature of reconstructive surgery. <BR> <BR> Beautiful. Fri, 20 Jan 2012 02:02:43 EST 5 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4690480 Beautiful: <BR> <BR> Honor this time-out and stop looking outside yourself for answers. Ask your internal questions; they'll restore your instincts and your decisiveness. <BR> <BR> Intention ends all ambiguity. <BR> <BR> ~Karla McLaren, The Language of Emotions Thu, 19 Jan 2012 02:10:35 EST 4 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4688271 The very best thing that I do is lead sung prayers in community twice each month. Prayer and silence in our sanctuary lit with one hundred candles. An hour of bliss, shared. <BR> <BR> The beauty is lingering tonight. Wed, 18 Jan 2012 02:04:11 EST 3 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4685928 We drove over the hill to the coast this afternoon, enjoyed a wonderfully simple lunch and watched the sun set over the water...heavy conversations suspended. <BR> <BR> Beautiful. Tue, 17 Jan 2012 02:13:10 EST 2 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4683394 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/7/7/l77183458.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I have a friend that grows dahlias on a very large scale. In bloom, they are endlessly fascinating...so intricate and colorful. She patiently let them go to seed so they could be harvested, all the while looking more and more bedraggled. The last couple of weeks, she's been preparing them for dormancy...cutting back, digging up, labeling etc. Today, it looks like she has finished. So amazingly intent and orderly, bo... Mon, 16 Jan 2012 01:11:22 EST 1 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4681347 I was struck today by the contrast of very uncomfortable, halting conversation with M about his depression and the fact we were being warmed by dazzling sunshine with gorgeous blue sky overhead crisscrossed with birds. <BR> <BR> A bit surreal but absolutely beautiful. Sun, 15 Jan 2012 01:11:11 EST another day 1 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4680283 Once again, I find myself in the strange zone where it seems another "brain" has taken over and convinced me that eating gives me power. Control. At regular intervals I've been convinced NOT eating gives me the same and I've run with it. <BR> <BR> I've learned...really learned... that deprivation is not good for me in any way and I'm sure that compulsive eating isn't either but balance is so hard to maintain! It has helped to not be secretive about it and staying present in the daily practic... Sat, 14 Jan 2012 13:42:07 EST day 36 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4630831 This morning, it was beautiful to receive lovely compliments and heartfelt thanks for something offered from my heart. I've been a bit low lately and this just warmed me as affirmation that my emotions don't define me. Mon, 19 Dec 2011 00:29:43 EST day 35 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4629287 I wasn't up to posting last night but taking these helped me end the day in a positive way. AND I SLEPT. Today is better already... <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/3/9/l395262123.jpg"> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/6/7/l673719737.jpg"> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/9/9/l994233371.jpg"> Sat, 17 Dec 2011 14:45:15 EST day 34 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4627594 Yesterday was hard, really struggling with back pain and attendant disability. <BR> <BR> Today, the diversions were better...some companionship and gentle encouragement....AND a Feldenkrais class this evening that helped relax my back so well. Beautiful, with a good night's sleep to look forward to. It always follows a class...don't know why, but I'LL TAKE IT. <BR> <BR> Maybe tomorrow will be better. Fri, 16 Dec 2011 01:26:30 EST day 32 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4624972 When has a waning moon been so bright? <BR> Two lovely cups of brunchtime coffee have loaned awareness <BR> of the spill of moonlight across my bed, <BR> chasing any hope of sleep and its oblivion into hiding. <BR> <BR> Moonbathing. Beautiful. Wed, 14 Dec 2011 05:00:26 EST day 31 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4623569 There was beauty today in a calm and almost gentle resolution to a potentially volatile meeting of minds which had caused me much anxiety. I went well prepared and resolved to stay in my place of peace. It worked out beautifully. Tue, 13 Dec 2011 02:04:44 EST day 30 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4622057 From Age-ing to Sage-ing <BR> A Profound New Vision of Growing Older <BR> by Zalman Schachter-Shalomi Mon, 12 Dec 2011 00:03:42 EST day 29 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4620791 Yo-Yo Ma <BR> The Silk Road Ensemble <BR> Silk Road Journeys <BR> Beyond the Horizon <BR> <link>www.silkroadproject.org/ </link> Sat, 10 Dec 2011 23:22:59 EST day 28 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4619840 Beauty today is realizing the power and/or influence I have in my reality. I have always been one to defer...regardless of the wisdom...and I am beginning to see I have much to contribute. This takes strength and confidence... Sat, 10 Dec 2011 02:08:03 EST day 27 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4618584 Beauty touched me today in ways not easy to share but through deep and profound creative release. A gift received and a gift given. Fri, 9 Dec 2011 02:07:02 EST day 26 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4617250 The beauty of today was freedom. No schedule, no demands. We shopped a little, walked a little, had a lovely lunch and another little walk. The family came for dinner and I enjoyed a long story time with my granddaughter. Sweet. Thu, 8 Dec 2011 02:20:09 EST day 25 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4615750 What an absolutely beautiful afternoon spent with my favorite companion, picking a tree, getting it set up and decorated! We celebrated with hot chocolate...and a cookie for her. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/7/l27219095.jpg"> Wed, 7 Dec 2011 00:16:45 EST day 24 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4614271 I went to a class on book binding for handmade books today with two friends. The studio was full of beautiful things...bits and pieces, tools and so many specialty papers. Interesting, challenging, frustrating, illuminating and so fun to do with companions. Two of the three small books I made are lovely, using techniques I would love to master. So, it was a good stretch for me and I learned something new...about books and about my self. Tue, 6 Dec 2011 02:29:05 EST day 23 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4612672 I spent time with an old friend today. He had a terrible stroke 4 months ago and has been working heart-breakingly hard at recovering enough function to go home. He finally made it a few days ago and the emotional transformation was so beautiful to see! Physically, progress has slowed dramatically but he seems content to be free...home...alone and with companions...it's all good, come what may. <BR> Mon, 5 Dec 2011 01:12:18 EST day 22 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4611237 This is my last assignment for the course Way of the Monk, Path of the Artist. There is beauty in following through when the going is so challenging. There is beauty in letting go of the product in favor of the process. I also have to say there is beauty in reaching the "end", to be able to let it go for a while and rest. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/9/1/l918562243.jpg"> Sat, 3 Dec 2011 23:26:04 EST day 21 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4609938 By all reports, Sophia was a wild child all day at pre-school today and spent nap time in time-out...awake. Teacher was not happy. <BR> <BR> The beauty in this was her absolute joy in seeing me there to pick her up, her total relishing of peanut butter on toast and hot chocolate, her contentment to cuddle on the couch with books until evening and her trust that it was enough. <BR> <BR> Now she's home with her parents doing the bedtime routine and I'm here. Relaxed. Smiling. <BR> Fri, 2 Dec 2011 22:14:18 EST day 20 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4608796 Silence is painful, but in silence things take form and we must wait and watch. In us, our secret depth, lies the knowing element that sees and hears that which we do not see or hear. All our perceptions, all the things we have done, all that we are today, dwelt once in knowing, silent depth, that treasure chamber in the soul. And we are more than we think. We are more than we know. That which is more than we think and know is always seeking and adding to itself while we are doing--or think w... Fri, 2 Dec 2011 01:30:49 EST day 19 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4607033 Poets live with silence: <BR> the silence before the poem; <BR> the silence whence the poem comes; <BR> <BR> the silence in between the words, as you <BR> drink the words, watch them glide through your mind, <BR> feel them slide down your throat <BR> towards your heart..... <BR> <BR> -Michael Shepherd, "Rumi's Silence" Thu, 1 Dec 2011 01:13:58 EST