ABEAUTIFULMESS1's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=ABEAUTIFULMESS1 ABEAUTIFULMESS1's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Still Around and Ready to Kick (my own) Butt! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5845707 I'm still around, still constantly thinking about what I need to be doing in order to reach my goals. I have been more conscious about what I've been eating, and been drinking a lot more water. I did, unfortunately, let my membership at 24 Hour Fitness lapse- My wallet was stolen and I forgot to update my card information and then just never had the additional money to catch up and so I let it lapse. I'm planning on re-joining but need to make sure that finances are ok before I do that. ... Sun, 4 Jan 2015 14:27:42 EST It's been way too long... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5800890 Well, here I am again.... back in a worse place than when I even started. There have been some major things that have happened since the last time I was on here. <BR> <BR> For the entire 2013-2014 school year one of my para-professionals tried to get me fired because she did not like me- I don't know what I did to her, or what I may have said, but she made the school year completely miserable- I definitely started to "eat my feelings" more often from the stress that was built up rather th... Sun, 19 Oct 2014 13:08:19 EST The Non-Update: Talk is Cheap http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5627236 Well, its been a bit since I've blogged again, so I figure its about time for an update....not that there's much to actually update. <BR> <BR> My Valentine's Day was good- DW and I grilled a couple steaks, an onion, and zucchini and squash, and also had baked potatoes. Then we played some games- so it was low key, but good. <BR> <BR> I'm still struggling to just get back on the wagon. I feel like I've been just eating constantly at night lately... I try to just have one dove chocolate... Tue, 18 Feb 2014 10:22:34 EST Lost: Motivation If Found, Please Return http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5609343 I feel like I'm still in the mindset of being healthier and doing what I need to do, but the actuality of DOING it is another thing. <BR> <BR> Life is good- I'm happy, things with DW are GREAT, I'm loving my job, etc.. Finances/money have been tight- really tight- and I'm tutoring to help just get week to week/month to month at this point. If I didn't need the money, I probably wouldn't be tutoring. I love the girls I tutor, and they are definitely not hard to work with, but I'm SOOOO bu... Wed, 29 Jan 2014 15:24:34 EST UGH!!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5570548 So I just went to the Dr for my yearly physical, and I left just feeling overwhelmed and depressed...and just awful. <BR> <BR> My blood pressure was high, again, and my doctor put me on blood pressure meds. I was really hoping that my blood pressure was going to be better this time...and it wasn't. Then, she referred me to go see the weight-management department, which is fine- I'm so frustrated with myself at this point that I just don't even know what to do....I've even started to cons... Mon, 23 Dec 2013 14:27:41 EST Jealous http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5560514 Yes, I am...I'm jealous. I try very hard to be happy for my friends, and I really am happy....but I'm also very jealous...can those two go hand in hand?? <BR> <BR> One of my best friends, Jen, whom I've known for about 13 years now, posted on Facebook yesterday....she's lost 60 pounds in the last 34 weeks. I'm very proud of her- we've both struggled with our weight every since we can both remember, and have even worked out together, helped each other with eating healthier, etc... We don... Mon, 9 Dec 2013 12:27:45 EST Feelin' Good http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5546098 So I don't have a lot of time to write much, but wanted to at least write something since I haven't blogged in a while, and my last blog was kind of negative/not very happy. <BR> <BR> I'm slowly getting back on track- I'm being more mindful about what I'm eating, and also, more importantly, how much I'm eating. I'm back drinking my Plexus almost everyday which has helped me feel more stable/in control too. I am not perfect, and I know that I'm not going to be, but I'm at least making the... Wed, 20 Nov 2013 11:56:03 EST EPIC Fail http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5532134 OK Here it goes... <BR> <BR> When it comes to my normal everyday ho-hum I'm feeling pretty good. Yes, I'm busier than I'd like to be and I feel like I'm just ALWAYS on the go, but its good- I'm happy, things are going GREAT with DW, work is going well, my grad class is going pretty well (just need to get caught up on a few things), and my second job is good too. Granted, this morning, I think my car's water pump broke on my way to work this morning which has me a little stressed, but overa... Mon, 4 Nov 2013 16:36:43 EST Stuck http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5488437 I feel like I am just stuck in a rut... Since I've started this whole Spark journey, I've lost 18lbs... That's 18 pounds in 19 months... that equals out to be less than a pound a month. I've gotten down to 31 pounds lost...and have gained 13 of those pounds over the last 6 months or so. Its so frustrating. I don't just sit around eating...I'm not eating huge amounts of fast food...Most of my food is made at home and I try to watch my portions, eat more veggies than anything else to fill up... Tue, 17 Sep 2013 15:35:26 EST TV Shows, Showers, and Weddings http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5452986 So I've definitely hit the ground running and can tell that its going to take me a few weeks to get back into my routine and not feel just totally EXHAUSTED by the end of each day. Things are going really well with my students so far but we'll see how long the "sparkle" lasts and they'll be back with me more often HAHA. <BR> <BR> I have a million meetings, appointments and a lot more paper work this year because I'm the lead teacher for the program, but I think it'll all work out ok after... Mon, 12 Aug 2013 14:39:25 EST Summer is "Over".... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5443324 Well, my summer officially ended on Wednesday. I feel like I've been in so many meetings and trainings and doing the other activities that administration at planned the last three days, I've had seriously MAYBE 30 minutes in my classroom. I haven't been able to stay late after work because of my tutoring schedule. <BR> <BR> I did get an AWESOME MacBook Air for work...I'm still getting used to the whole Mac vs PC thing.... I'm so used to Windows that the whole "simple" thing that Mac has ... Sat, 3 Aug 2013 13:55:56 EST Summer Fancy-ness http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5416660 Oh my goodness...I feel like I haven't been on here in forever....It's been a while. I've had a lot going on over the last month and a half-2 months. So...this blog might be a little long as I am kind of catching up with what has been going on....but I will try to keep it at least somewhat concise and short-ish. <BR> <BR> End of the school year was really stressful- I think everyone- my students, my paraprofessionals, and myself were all just done the last week of school! I actually fle... Wed, 10 Jul 2013 11:23:52 EST SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?!?! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5371432 I'm feeling a little discouraged today. I've been doing pretty well at consistently dropping weight and then I just bounce up 7 lbs in like a week! I haven't been eating more than usual, been working out, been active.... the only thing I can think of is that I'm around that "spot/timing" in my cycle that I always tend to go up 5-8 lbs and stay there for a couple weeks and then drop back down.... Its just so frustrating! I'm always so afraid when I see those numbers go up that they'll just ... Wed, 29 May 2013 11:48:25 EST Memorial Weekend http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5370450 Well, I hope you all had a fantastic Memorial Day Weekend! I actually spent most of the weekend at my parents' place watching their dog and their condo. I did hang out with DW on Friday and Saturday night and he came to my BBQ that I had on Sunday. I was actually surprised that he came on Sunday. Last year, when I had a BBQ, he didn't want to come. He has a thing where he doesn't want to be in someone's home if he hasn't met them before- which is fine- its a respect thing and I get it. ... Tue, 28 May 2013 13:31:48 EST Miserable Two Months Erased http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5363401 So... I'm hoping I can keep this blog shorter than the last one (sorry to my spark friends if they put themselves through reading all of that!). This last week/weekend was great. I spent most of it with "The Boy" Who I think we might just nickname DW now (I know...it might make some of you think of Arthur (the TV show where Arthur's little sister's name is DW) I think that its just easier and he is more than just a boy to me... <BR> <BR> So, on Friday DW and I hung out, played some Phase ... Tue, 21 May 2013 11:59:41 EST Drama...100+ Phone Calls....and Finally 30+ Lost! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5356351 ***This is going to be a pretty long blog and I'm sorry if you get bored half way through...if you want to skip the added information you can skip to the bottom where I've actually put some things in about my weight/goals/etc... I'll make it noticeable when I've gone in to all that... <BR> <BR> Wow.... The last 4-5 days have been....full of drama and interesting events.... <BR> <BR> This weekend was not the best weekend.... Friday night FC came down to Denver and we went to my parents' pl... Tue, 14 May 2013 13:26:47 EST Patience is Also an Action http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5348677 So I found this picture the other day that sort of got me thinking. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/8/9/l890923450.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I've really been struggling the last month with having patience. I have just been yo-yoing up and down with the same 7-ish pounds and can't seem to just lose them and have them stay off. I've been drinking my water, been tracking my calories at least a little more consistently (I know that I need to work on this to hold myself more a... Tue, 7 May 2013 13:34:46 EST Happy....Winter? Spring? Whatever Season it's Supposed to Be http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5332921 Well, its snowing (again) here in Colorado.... It snowed a few days last week and started snowing again last night and snowed all night. Its been more like February/March this month... I don't know if I would say that I'm in a slump, but the weather hasn't exactly helped my motivation much. I'm going to be working out tonight (as long as the roads aren't too horrible when I get done with work) and then going to tutor (after I go home and shower of course). I'm sure a lot of you can relate ... Tue, 23 Apr 2013 12:08:13 EST Amazing Things Ahead http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5318549 So, I haven't been around a lot the last couple of weeks. I was on Spring Break 2 weeks ago and spent a good chunk of that time up in Fort Collins seeing FC (his birthday was March 26) and also spent time with my dad since my mom was out of town. <BR> <BR> I've been working out as consistently as I can with my schedule lately (I've been tutoring a lot and had a lot of work last week to catch up on). I haven't been super great about counting calories, but at the same time, even though I ... Wed, 10 Apr 2013 14:35:05 EST 30 Pounds and Other Amazingness http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5300654 So... Technically I have 0.8 lbs to go before I hit the "30 pounds down" mark, but I can at least say that I am ALMOST down 30 pounds. I'm at 303.8, a new new low for me since I started this journey. I had gotten down to 306 back in May/June and then I just lost my footing and unfortunately took some steps back. I had lost my job (again), and was in search of a teaching job and was also really struggling with my depression and anxiety. I went back up to 326ish and it took me a bit to real... Tue, 26 Mar 2013 10:54:13 EST Dates and Moving On http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5291148 Let me preface this by saying that this blog had nothing to do with nutrition (minus one sentence somewhere within all the details). <BR> <BR> So, I'm feeling better about everything after this last weekend. I went on a date on Saturday and it went REALLY well. I know that people might think that I might be trying to move on too quickly, but its really helped me to just get back into my normal routine and move past "The (ex) Boy". <BR> <BR> My friend Meaghan and I had been planning th... Mon, 18 Mar 2013 13:12:48 EST One Day at a Time http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5278936 If you're confused by the context of this blog, you can read the blog I posted previous to this one and things will make a little more sense. <BR> <BR> So I've made it through 3 days....today is day 4. I feel a million times worse than I did on day 1....I think the shock is starting to wear off and its starting to become a lot more real. I went over to his place to get my things on Wednesday evening after work. I had to keep my sunglasses on so that he wouldn't be able to see my eyes (I ... Fri, 8 Mar 2013 13:29:05 EST Chrssy and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5275797 I will preface this by saying that this blog has very little, if not anything at all, to do with nutrition/weight etc... <BR> <BR> Monday started out as a great day. I felt good, I had a good day with my students, minus the sore throat, I had a good day. I called "The Boy" like I normally would and he didn't answer which wasn't totally abnormal. A few minutes later I got a text that said "Call me when you get home ok" So I text back a quick "ok" and drove home. I called back when I got ... Wed, 6 Mar 2013 11:22:35 EST Palm to Face http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5272663 I have been doing better about binging and not over doing it over the last month (give or take a few days from being an entire month) and last night I fell into that stupid "let's have 3 of EVERYTHING instead of just one of one thing" hole. I could definitely feel it this morning when I woke up, as well as when I woke up a few times during the night because I felt so gross. UGH. And of course, I weighed myself to see how much damage I did.... 4 lousy pounds.... I know that I can get rid of... Mon, 4 Mar 2013 12:10:13 EST "And I'm Back in the Game!" http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5267270 So I've been doing a really horrible job at waiting to weigh myself lately. Usually I dread weighing myself, but the last couple of weeks I've actually liked it (say whaaaat??)! I'm finally seeing those numbers going down again and I'm always looking forward to seeing them go down more. I know that I need to be sure that if the number does go up a little that I don't let it get to me and just keep plugging away and it will go back down. <BR> <BR> I've been drinking my pink drink (Plexus... Thu, 28 Feb 2013 13:14:46 EST Use By Date is No Joke! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5264671 So I don't have a whole lot going on lately. I haven't been super consistent with tracking, which I need to get better at. I go through a few days where I'm great at tracking everything and then I don't for a few days...then I do... then I don't... I am slowly getting back into working out. I wanted to work out yesterday, but I felt like I might toss my cookies all day yesterday and the night before, and also had to tutor from 7-8:00 last night and decided that working out was not a good i... Tue, 26 Feb 2013 12:16:32 EST 1 Year In http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5251656 Well, I've been Sparking for one year now.... I'm definitely not anywhere near as far as I thought I would be on this journey, but this is honestly the longest I've ever stuck with anything when it comes to weight loss, so I guess that counts for something! I feel like over the last year I've really been able to come into myself and get to know myself a lot better. There have been A LOT of downs and many ups along the way, and I can honestly say that I am (kind of) glad that I went through... Fri, 15 Feb 2013 13:30:48 EST 7 Say What?!?! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5243936 So I don't usually weight myself more than once a week. I'm actually going to be getting back into the routine of weighing myself every other week because I feel like that is going to be a more consistent showing of what's actually happening to my body/weight. But, last week I weighed myself and my heart just SUNK.... I had jumped up to 325..... Luckily I didn't let it get me down for longer than a few minutes (I actually weighed myself because a pair of my jeans felt a little tighter than ... Sat, 9 Feb 2013 12:25:36 EST DRAGGING! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5240296 I am SO tired today. I had a hard time falling asleep last night- I just could not turn my brain off! I wasn't really thinking about anything negative....it was more just thinking about finally getting into my routine, using all of my tools that I have to optimize my plan and how I wanted to just get going. I am really dragging today, but I am going to work out with my friend Meaghan tonight after work. I just hope that I can actually have a good workout since I'm so tired. I figure that... Wed, 6 Feb 2013 13:44:40 EST Feeling Good http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5238756 So, I haven't been back on the wagon for too long, but I'm already feeling better psychologically. I feel like I'm finally getting back on track and more motivated to really get going and ready to see more definite results! I am waiting to get my plexus in the mail, but that should be here any day since I got one of my things yesterday. (If you do have any questions about it, let me know and I can give you some information/my website!) <BR> <BR> I've just felt HUGE lately. I have been st... Tue, 5 Feb 2013 12:55:50 EST And..... GO! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5233261 So I joined 24 Hour Fitness last night (they had a good special of only 29.99/mo and it ended at midnight so I decided I should sign up rather than wait until Saturday). I also made another Mason Jar Salad today with cabbage, spinach, strawberries, goat cheese, radishes, bell pepper, and tomatoes. I am also using the pomegranate vinaigrette for the dressing. My whole salad is somewhere around 420 calories. I did stop and get a Starbucks coffee this morning and have been just sipping it sl... Fri, 1 Feb 2013 13:09:17 EST Mason Jars- Who Knew! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5231649 As some of you know who have read my other blogs, I have a really hard time eating during the day- I will go literally all day without eating (I'll just drink water for the day) and then I eat dinner. So I got this awesome idea from my co-worker (who got the idea on Pinterest) and tried it out last night! It's salad in a mason jar!!! I went to the store last night and bought spinach, romaine lettuce, tomatoes, dates, strawberries, almonds, bell peppers, zucchini, squash, mushrooms, cranber... Thu, 31 Jan 2013 11:56:52 EST Wake Up and Smell the Spark! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5202174 I finally came to grips with the reality that I gained 11 lbs over the last 6 months (which, I know its not good, but I'm glad that it was only 11 and not 50 - which knowing me, would have totally been possible). I have reset my ticker to show my current weight of 317 (blah) and am using that as a starting point from here on out. I had to just stop thinking I would **magically** just drop back down to 306 without working for it. <BR> <BR> So I've had (A LOT) of time to think about what m... Fri, 11 Jan 2013 12:57:17 EST Hyper-Sensitive http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5169081 I'm not sure that I can say "Happy Monday" this morning... This weekend was horrible. On Friday I really didn't let the tragedy of what happened in CT get to me because I was dealing with so many other things with one of my students and her guardian, but over the weekend it really started to sink in about how easily it could be my school or any other school that could have had this happen. I've been a little overly emotional/sensitive as it is (started my TOM yesterday ugh), but the fact th... Mon, 17 Dec 2012 12:27:25 EST SOOOO TIRED!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5164408 This blog probably won't be super long- which some of you may be happy about lol. I started my new medicine Celexa on Monday. I should have started it last week, but didn't pick it up from the pharmacy until Friday. I think I was putting it off because of the side effects. I am definitely feeling one of them: TIRED. I also just realized after having a hard time falling asleep at a decent time (8:30/9 is decent for me) for the last couple of nights that one of the side affects is insomni... Wed, 12 Dec 2012 13:26:01 EST 7th Time's a charm?? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5149421 So I had my doctors appointment yesterday and it actually went alright. I got there a little early, but they took me back just before my appointment time and got my weight (gained a few lbs over the last couple of months blah), and took my vitals. My blood pressure was REALLY high- especially for me. I'm usually normal when it comes to my BP and it was 166/98 the first time the nurse checked it. The nurse had me just sit for a bit and took it again- still high, but slightly lower (155/98)... Wed, 28 Nov 2012 11:21:35 EST Not Emo.... Thanks for Asking http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5125141 So I had a pretty fantastic fall break. I honestly didn't really do a whole lot. I did spend a little extra time with my mom in the evenings because I didn't have to be home to go to bed at a specific time which was nice. I watched quite a bit of TV, took my dog for walks and just enjoyed not having a million and ten things going on. On Thursday, "The Boy" and I went to Blackhawk- its a casino town in the mountains. I had never gambled before in my life (aside from a $20 buy in garage po... Mon, 5 Nov 2012 16:34:16 EST Funky Funk http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5092699 I feel like I've just been kind of stuck lately. Its not that I don't care....but at the same time I don't really...care. <BR> <BR> I haven't been working out, minus taking my dog for a walk when I've had the time, and I haven't been tracking my food... But I also haven't been eating much food to track. I eat more on the weekends than I do during the week. <BR> <BR> I know that I need to get back into the habit of eating breakfast, AND lunch AND dinner, but lately its been rare that ... Tue, 9 Oct 2012 13:11:19 EST Holy Chocolate Batman! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5063147 I feel like my appetite has been ALL over the place the last week and a half. One week I'm barely wanting to eat an entire meal and the next week I can't eat enough...and now I can't eat without feeling sick afterwards...more on that later... <BR> <BR> My weekend was good. The Boy had a few beers after work with some of the guys he works with and ended up getting home a little later than usual (he didn't realize that it was as late as it was) and actually apologized for not texting/calling... Mon, 17 Sep 2012 12:03:24 EST Too Much Month at the End of the Paycheck http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5043956 It's only Sept 4 and my paycheck is almost gone (ooops). I know I can make it work, and I'll be fine, but its just stressful. I hadn't had a regular paycheck since mid May and I felt like I was catching up with all the bills I was behind on. It had to be done, but it means the next 26 days are going to be tight! I did go shopping (definitely spent too much money) on Saturday and bought new jeans, shirts and sweaters for work. <BR> <BR> I officially have gone down a size! I usually shop... Tue, 4 Sep 2012 12:43:26 EST Quarter of the Way.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5035955 So I was looking at my ticker today and realized that I am almost a 1/4 of the way to my first goal. I know I still have a long ways to go, but the realization that I can totally SEE the progress (even if its on a ticker) is really motivating. <BR> <BR> My parents took me to the grocery store last week so I could get a few things to eat for the week and as I was grabbing some fruit (peaches) my dad came up to me and said "I can really tell you've lost weight!" Its such a nice feeling to ... Wed, 29 Aug 2012 11:35:28 EST Long Roads are Never Too Long http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5027864 "No road is too long for him who advances slowly and does not hurry, and no attainment is beyond his reach who equips himself with patience to achieve it." ~Jean de La Bruyère <BR> <BR> I am a quote geek. I really like finding quotes that either push me, encourage me or inspire me. I used to have a notebook in high school that I literally FILLED with different quotes. I stumbled upon this one the other day (I honestly don't remember where), and wrote it down so that I could keep it in mi... Thu, 23 Aug 2012 12:16:13 EST How Chrssy Got Her Groove Back http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5021946 So I started my new job July 27, and school started August 9, I've had a full week (plus 2 days) with my kiddos and feel like my head is still kind of spinning, but I'm really loving my job! I have 9 students (grades 1-7) who are at least partially contained, if not completely contained and I'm teaching math (and helping/co-teaching with the other subjects). Every single student I have are on a different level/grade in math so I'm basically teaching 8 different kinds of math to 8 kids (one... Sun, 19 Aug 2012 15:05:37 EST Unmotivated, Unemployed Slump http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4976477 I know its been awhile, and I really have no good reasoning for taking a 2-ish month hiatus. I lost my job May 29th because I was looking for another job, and applied for unemployment the day I was let go. I really just lost a lot of motivation for anything and let myself fall into a lazy, unmotivated, depressed slump of applying to teaching jobs, watching tv and sleeping. I was hired by a tutoring company, but you don't make money if you don't have clients (which I don't at the moment) an... Wed, 18 Jul 2012 16:35:23 EST Shoes, Nibbles and Motivation http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4891571 This weekend was good. I was really busy and definitely didn't have a lot of down time, but it was a really great one! <BR> <BR> On Friday, I got off work a little early (We've been a little slow the last week or so) and just hung out with "The Boy". We ate dinner (pizza- not very healthy, but I only had one piece and it was a perfect amount to tide me over), and then just hung out and talked and then played some dominoes. Saturday was rainy and stormy for a good chunk of the day. We w... Mon, 21 May 2012 15:13:22 EST Please Hire Me, Conceitedness, and Shoes http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4883105 So as a lot of you might know, or maybe not know, I've been trying to find a teaching job. I've applied to probably over 30 positions, had 3 interviews and have another interview tomorrow. I haven't heard back from the first 3, so I'm kind of just tossing those into the "well...it just wasn't meant to be" bucket and trying to move on (although secretly I'm thinking "please call me.... please tell me you want me... please hire me). I really want to get back into teaching, and I really miss ... Tue, 15 May 2012 19:51:06 EST Getting Back to Where I Belong http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4848624 Wow... it's definitely been a while since I've written a blog. Its been a combination of not having a lot of extra time after work (I tried to stay as busy as possible while "the boy" was out of town) and also just being a little out of sorts over the last 2-2 1/2 weeks. My nutrition hasn't been horrible, but I also know that it could be better, which I need to get back on track with, and I've been working out, but not as consistently as I should- I just need to pull myself out of this slum... Mon, 23 Apr 2012 18:00:57 EST Thousands of Obstacles http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4820722 "It is interesting to notice how some minds seem almost to create themselves, springing up under every disadvantage, and working their solitary but irresistible way through a thousand obstacles." ~Washington Irving~ <BR> <BR> I know that there are many, MANY people who are and have been much less fortunate than myself- and I am also fully aware that there are a lot of people who have it WAY better than I do. <BR> <BR> You have people like the students I used to teach, who literally have n... Wed, 4 Apr 2012 18:29:07 EST High Standards and Expectations http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4817367 "Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anyone else expects of you. Never excuse yourself." ~Henry Ward Beecher~ <BR> <BR> I've always been held to high standards-by many people, including my parents, and specifically my dad. I have been a daddy's girl from the time I was 20 days old. Now, before you wonder "well, what happened to the first 20 days?!?!", I'm adopted, so my dad didn't see my cute, big eared self until I was 20 days old. (I had kinda big ears as a baby- thank ... Mon, 2 Apr 2012 19:11:59 EST Letting it Go http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4810962 "The worst thing you can try to do is cling to something that is gone, or to recreate it." ~Johnette Napolitano~ <BR> <BR> I am really good at a lot of different things...some good, some bad, some ugly.... one thing I am REALLY good at is holding on to situations/moments- especially those that have caused me pain or discomfort. And I relive them....and repeat them in my mind and let myself give in to anything that might remind me of any horrible/uncomfortable moment. I have no idea w... Thu, 29 Mar 2012 15:48:19 EST