A*L*P*'s SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=A%2AL%2AP%2A A*L*P*'s Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Leaving Sparkpeople...? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5527453 This has not been an easy decision for me. I have decided that my time to leave has come. There are so many things I love about Sparkpeople... <BR> <BR> *the community <BR> *the people I have met here <BR> *the challenges <BR> *reading blogs <BR> *it started me on a path toward wellness I never thought I would be able to attain <BR> *the teams <BR> <BR> However, I am progressing in a way that just doesn't seem to fit with Sparkpeople. I am finding a way to be able to finally be at peace ... Wed, 30 Oct 2013 13:04:12 EST New Season, on to changes! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5494766 <em>465</em> <em>426</em> <em>427</em> I LOVE FALL!!! <em>465</em> <em>426</em> <em>427</em> <BR> <BR> I won't lie, it is by far my most favorite season. I am trying not to be too lofty in my goals, but I love the change of season it just seems to be a good time to set goals and put them in motion. New season, on to changes! I got so excited about fall I decided to update my page to reflect it. <BR> <BR> This last week was a tough one. I was sick all week long. Satur... Tue, 24 Sep 2013 11:08:11 EST BLC23 Goals http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5490352 Yep, I am doing it. I am going to take on another round of the BLC. I feel good about the team I selected to be on. In the 20th and 22nd round I opted to do CAMO and figured it was time to shake things up a bit and try out another team so I selected the SEALS as my first choice and I am going to go with that! <BR> <BR> I am looking forward to this round of the BLC. I feel like my head is firmly placed where it needs to be for me to officially take this challenge on. Last round, I felt q... Thu, 19 Sep 2013 15:52:53 EST The Problems with Dichotomy. And a New Project. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5489194 I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. About everything pretty much. Life, diet, kids, husband, friends, "having a life", organization, priorities... the list is longer but you get the drift. <em>211</em> <BR> <BR> I have noticed something about me. Dichotomy seems to rule my life. It is so ingrained as a part of my psyche I live my life according to black and white. I know I always have because I remember my mom telling me as a kid, "you don't have to be so black and white." ... Wed, 18 Sep 2013 11:14:57 EST What do I want? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5487407 ***DISCLAIMER: this is not written with any food allergies or the like, it is intended for me as I have no food sensitivities. I am not looking to debate, I am just chronicling my struggles*** <BR> <BR> I have taken a pretty big intended break from SparkPeople. I have needed to get my head back on straight. These last couple of years regarding weight loss (or lacktherof) has been pure hell for me. <BR> <BR> To capture the phrase from my good friend Missusriverrat, I have had to come back... Mon, 16 Sep 2013 15:45:32 EST Mending Relationships... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5471056 One of the worst things that has ever come out of my mouth to date: <BR> <BR> "I don't trust myself..." <BR> <BR> How can/does that happen? For me, I can tell you exactly. It all stems back from when I entered the diet world. I was 21. I had just given birth to the most beautiful daughter ever (mom's prejudice <em>211</em> ) and I had gained 65 pounds during that pregnancy going from a size 8 to a snug 16. I was miserable and unhappy. I had stretch marks covering my entire body fr... Fri, 30 Aug 2013 16:59:02 EST "Skinny Rules" http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5467057 This was posted in my ETF group this afternoon and I have been thinking of my response... <BR> <BR> Bob Harper's "Skinny Rules" <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/8/l1813420943.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I am proud not to be a non conformist when it comes to the norm when it with fitness and diet. I made my own rule list in response to the "Skinny Rules" <BR> <BR> 1. Drink water when thirsty. Drink water with my Apple Cider Vinegar and Natural Calm. Not before a meal to squash m... Mon, 26 Aug 2013 17:39:22 EST What I've Been Up To..... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5461882 Summer has been crazy. That is it, plain and simple. I have had literally little to no time on some days to get on Spark. Posting has been a challenge and is one of the requirements of the BLC. If not for that, I doubt I would have been on SP much at all. Reading blogs.... forget it! I miss being able to keep up with everyone. The kids are down to less than a week before school starts and I am thinking I may have a little bit more "me" time (WHAT'S THAT?!!!) when they do. I have enjoy... Wed, 21 Aug 2013 10:37:26 EST An Amazing Read http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5430825 I have been stalking blogs this afternoon while my little guy has slept and I found one that I would simply LOVE to share. It resonates with me almost to the tee. I have done just about all of these things. <BR> <BR> Yes I did diet pills, brief as it was until I thought I was goign to have a heart attack when my heart was racing so fast. <BR> <BR> Yes, I have been one to wait to weigh until I pee, have every stitch of clothing off because those ounces DO matter. <BR> <BR> Yes, I have p... Tue, 23 Jul 2013 16:34:47 EST Making Goals AT Goal http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5429412 So, here it goes. I am going to say it. I am going to count myself at goal. As per one of my previous blogs, I am looking at things from a different perspective these days. I don't think that this is going to be easy, however that being said, I can't thing of one thing that I have worked hard for in my life has EVER been easy but has been VERY rewarding. It is amazing to work hard at something and achieve it. <BR> <BR> I am at 158.6 pounds. Not a weight I would have ever considered my ... Mon, 22 Jul 2013 13:09:06 EST Self-Depriving Rules -- Anyone else? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5429117 So, I am curious if anyone else is guilty of self-depriving rules? You know the ones.... <BR> <BR> Once I reach a certain size/goal/weight I can: <BR> buy a pair of shorts <BR> get a pedicure <BR> get a massage <BR> take a trip <BR> buy a shirt <BR> buy a dvd <BR> have a girls night out <BR> have a beer <BR> take a trip to starbucks <BR> eat a donut <BR> have a dinner out <BR> get a new pair of shoes <BR> ****************************** <BR> <BR> These are only just a few items that I have ... Mon, 22 Jul 2013 09:07:56 EST I Have a Question for Everyone... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5424405 Something that I have been thinking over and over in my head since I read it and it has really made me think and I thought I would pose the question to everyone else.... <BR> <BR> First off, most people know that I am not a regular follower of the traditional diet paradigm, in fact, I pretty much rebel against it. I know what dieting does and how it affects the body negatively. I know that eating 1200 calories (or even sometimes less) is not a sustainable and healthy way to maintain the bo... Wed, 17 Jul 2013 16:35:43 EST Why being 'normal' is so unique http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5415300 Yesterday I posted my blog about the joy of being normal. This is a new concept for me when it comes to food and exercise because I have teetered on the edge of disordered eating/exercise many times. I have plunged into clean eating and the like several times. I have drooled over Shakeology. I have forced myself into many different molds trying to obtain that status of virtuosity. I mean really let's face it, dieting is virtuous, right? I know in the past it felt like a socially accepta... Tue, 9 Jul 2013 09:29:00 EST The joy of simply being normal. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5414056 I read the most amazing article this morning and I will share. I am curious what everyone things about this? I hear "strong is the new skinny" all the time. So much so that it feels like something that people just say anymore. <BR> <BR> <link>fitandfeminist.wordpress.com/2013/05<BR>/21/what-happens-when-the-pursuits-of-<BR>skinny-and-strong-collide/ </link> <BR> <BR> I am to the point that I just disregard a lot of the stuff I read. I am so fed up and tired of it all. I am to the p... Mon, 8 Jul 2013 08:47:53 EST Catching Up http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5401562 LIfe.Is.Crazy. <BR> <BR> Some days I think *I* am going crazy. This has been the most difficult start to summer that I can remember. Last week we were flat on our backs with the stomach crud. I felt like I spent the entire week either cleaning puke or diarrhea (sorry, TMI...). One of us would get it and as soon as we were getting over it, another one was coming down with it. I finally steam cleaned my house trying to get rid of it. So far, I have been plus five days and no puke so I am... Tue, 25 Jun 2013 16:41:35 EST Saturday Musings http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5382225 This week has been a good one. I feel very focused, driven and motivated. I have been extremely motivated and have been able to get up and get my workouts in first thing in the morning (5 am is a pain in the a$$ sometimes, but I looooooove it!!). I am pushing forward with the Flylady and it is helping me recapture some of my lost sanity. Life is a mess of stress for me most of the time. Demands are high on me always and I don't see that going away anytime soon. I figure I have 2 choices... Sat, 8 Jun 2013 08:57:33 EST Goals for BLC22 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5377847 First off, I have to say, GO CAMO, baby! I am so flipping happy to be on team C.A.M.O. I tried to do a jaunt on the BLC for round 20 and it turned out to be a flop. I fell off the deep end again, it coincided with me weaning my baby and there was a lot of mental garbage hanging around cluttering my mind. For the first time in a very long time, I feel it from within, that I am finally ready to take ahold and push forward with what goals I want to attain. No more of the back and forth swing... Tue, 4 Jun 2013 11:10:27 EST Gearing up for the BLC 22 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5369490 I am waiting.... waiting..... waiting..... ::drums fingers on table:: to hear if I got into CAMO for the BLC 22 (((oh PLEASE!!!))). I am gearing up for it and I feel good about it. I have set a few goals that I hope to accomplish over the next 12 weeks. I even took some pics which I am so not brave enough to post but I hope to post them next to my 'after' pics at the end of the 12 weeks, so we'll see. Instead, I will post my measurements I took for the start of the BLC: <BR> <BR> Chest: ... Mon, 27 May 2013 16:26:49 EST Overcomplicating http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5364717 I had a blog up yesterday, went in to edit and managed to delete it. Oy, I don't wear sleep deprivation well........................ <BR> <BR> Ugh.... all I have to say is ugh.... well, more but I can't use those kinds of words on this site <em>334</em> <BR> <BR> But in all reality, I feel like I have been beating my head on the wall trying to figure it all out. I get so frustrated on one end of the spectrum and then my pendulum swings to the other. When did things get so complicated... Wed, 22 May 2013 14:48:23 EST It's Not a Race.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5359462 I have to keep reminding myself of this. After my freak out and Weight Watchers debacle this week, I feel myself calming down a bit. I have a bit of nostalgia going and I feel a bit down. <BR> <BR> I miss the days of diets. <em>198</em> <BR> <BR> How fu%ked up is that? I can't believe I am even admitting that out loud. I think back to when I first started up with Sparkpeople and how new and exciting it all was. I felt like a sponge trying to soak it all up. I was learning the too... Fri, 17 May 2013 15:23:57 EST Stumbling... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5357616 I feel like I have come completely off the deep end. I felt so good and rooted but over the last couple of days I have been antsy, irritated, frustrated. It got so bad I joined Weight Watchers (only to cancel the following day not resulting in a bunch of hoops for me to jump to get my $ back). <BR> <BR> I am so tired of this pendulum swing. I go back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. There are times I feel completely happy and content knowing that I am doing what is good for m... Wed, 15 May 2013 15:48:30 EST The Just of it All http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5350062 I am a disordered eater. I suffer from poor body image. I have dealt with scale obsession. I have spring-boarded back and forth from intuitive eating to restrictive eating (I use the term restrictive loosely because as I have learned over time there are MANY forms of it be it restricting calories or ONLY eating certain foods based off of what a book or guru says is best). I have reached a crossroads in my life and I feel like I am on the verge of a breakthrough. A big one. <BR> <BR> I... Wed, 8 May 2013 16:35:50 EST Eyes On Your Own Plate! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5343173 I <em>26</em> this concept! Think about it -- how many times as a "dieter" (using this term loosely) have I compared the way I eat to the way someone else eats? Countless! It is easy to get wrapped up in it all. <BR> <BR> Paleo. <BR> Low carb. <BR> Weight watchers. <BR> Low fat. <BR> Calorie cycling. <BR> Carb cycling. <BR> Pills. <BR> Cabbage soup. <BR> Clean eating. <BR> Vegan. <BR> Vegetarian. <BR> Gluten free. <BR> Dairy free. <BR> <BR> ........ <BR> <BR> the list goes on and on ... Thu, 2 May 2013 11:35:37 EST Eat.The.Food. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5340968 I have spent a lot of time thinking, reading, researching.... <BR> <BR> I am quite angry at myself. I had my "come to Jesus" moment when I read The New Rules of Lifting for Women book and it touted the EAT MORE mentality. It is a hard concept for me to grasp when I have spent a lot of time restricting, turning to intuitive eating only to feel guilty for eating and then to return to restrictive eating. <BR> <BR> The pattern disturbs me then disgusts me. I.Have.Had.It. <BR> <BR> I foun... Tue, 30 Apr 2013 16:47:05 EST A whole lot of random http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5334378 I am so frustrated at the moment, I am having a hard time seeing straight. <BR> <BR> There has been an interesting discussion on a group I belong to on FB about a new book that came out by Bob Harper (most know him on The Biggest Loser) and I have to say I am sick just thinking about it. <BR> <BR> (From Amazon.com) <BR> "LOSE UP TO 20 POUNDS IN 21 DAYS! <BR> <BR> In his instant #1 New York Times bestseller The Skinny Rules, celebrity trainer and coach of NBC’s The Biggest Loser Bob Harper... Wed, 24 Apr 2013 16:37:55 EST Stressed out! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5328885 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/7/l1717869459.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I can't even begin to say how much this sums me up anymore. I had a mini-breakdown today. I don't even know why. I was going about my morning getting things ready for the day, the boys were getting ready for school, baby was playing happily and I was getting ready to get in the shower and it hit me. I started crying and I have no idea why. I felt sad. Unbelievably sad. All I wanted to do is curl up in a bal... Fri, 19 Apr 2013 16:07:15 EST Goals, 30 Day Challenge and Working on Syncing my Life http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5327776 I have felt a bit off lately. I feel a bit off kilter and unbalanced. Sometimes I can see why directly, others I can't seem to put my finger on why I seem to feel so out of it. It seems that I will be very strong in one area of my life and completely lacking in another area of my life. <BR> <BR> I have decided to reevaluate some of my life goals and see if I can't get some of that balance back and sync all areas of my life. <BR> <BR> At the beginning of this year I did Chalene Johnson'... Thu, 18 Apr 2013 16:04:46 EST NRoLL Workout B, Day 2 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5326208 I got up and got my workout in bright and early this morning! <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/8/5/l859478972.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I also have my food planned out for the day: <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/3/l1316330406.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I am still a bit sore from Monday's workout but it is great to be back at it after a week of rest. Next rest week, I will stay active, I cant' just take a total week off again. I will keep it light, but stil... Wed, 17 Apr 2013 09:44:20 EST Let it begin! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5323622 Rest week is finally over! <BR> <BR> Day 1 is in the books! <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/9/5/l955456439.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <em>236</em> Mon, 15 Apr 2013 07:55:54 EST Random randomness http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5319865 I picked the best possible week to take my rest week. My little man has been sleeping awful again. I was up with him several times last night. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/5/l1533418396.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I pray to god it is just a teething thing (he's getting ready to pop out his eye teeth) and not another habit of *not sleeping at night* brewing. I have a deep seeded fear of sleep deprivation after the last year and a half of little to no sleep I had with h... Thu, 11 Apr 2013 15:45:34 EST Year to Date Results http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5317337 Since going to the lifting program I am doing, I have quit using my SparkPeople tracker and I have gone back to using my fitbook. It works fantastic with tracking my nutrition and my workouts. I love my little book! Funny thing is I started using it at the beginning of the year and quit about 5 weeks in and started using the tracker but since picking it back up, I looked back to the beginning of the book and saw my measurements that I took on 12/31/12: <BR> Weight: 157 <BR> Chest: 34" <BR>... Tue, 9 Apr 2013 15:28:50 EST Monday update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5315479 I have time for a quick update before the monsters arise for another day of the grind... <BR> <BR> I am taking a forced rest week. I need it desperately! For some reason, it is so very hard for me to take them, but I am just going to do it because I know it is the right thing. I will do some yoga definitely, foam rolling, walking outside if the weather holds (we're preparing for yet another big, well-known Spring storm in the Rockies so that remains yet to be seen...) or whatever seems ri... Mon, 8 Apr 2013 08:07:46 EST The Endless Internal War With Myself http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5312807 Ever read the right words at the right time? I did. Yesterday. Thanks to Yoovie, I started following Nerd Fitness (love this guy and blogs with Lego figures are *always* cooooool plus he totally appeals to my Geek side with constant reference to Star Wars and the like). He put out the most amazing blog yesterday and one that I have a couple times: <BR> <BR> <link>www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2013/04/04/<BR>comparison/ </link> <BR> <BR> I think I can identify with about 95% of the women ... Fri, 5 Apr 2013 15:44:37 EST Constantly Learning http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5310380 So yesterday I got a pretty big wake up call. I had a pretty rough day yesterday. I don't know why, it was just a bad day. I felt sad and down and was kind of weepy for no apparent reason. I had a ton of things to do and no drive or ambition to do any of them, but to get myself and Mr. Baby out of the house we headed out and did them anyway. I returned the shoes, paid the bill, mailed the letter and went about doing the rest of the mundane tasks that I had to get done and through the mal... Wed, 3 Apr 2013 16:05:33 EST The Shift Begins.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5309152 So with April starts my Paradigm Shift. My total shift in thinking about the way I am doing things. <BR> <BR> Insanity, right? Why keep doing what isn't working. <BR> <BR> I am done. So effing done. March ended with the scale reflecting the same number I started with. My measurements show a different story with a loss of 2.75 overall, which I am very happy with. I am going to track my body fat this month with my new toy. <BR> <BR> I am making that total shift right now. This secon... Tue, 2 Apr 2013 16:55:05 EST Paradigm Shift http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5303453 Once Upon a Time....... <BR> <BR> There was a mom of three who joined SparkPeople out of frustration. Stuck on a plateau, unable to break it and completely afraid of falling off of the wagon. This mom worked hard, followed the SparkPeople program did the stages (before they made you pay for that part of it anyway), ate good, exercised, reached goal weight and maintained that goal weight for almost four years. Well this mom, got pregnant, had a healthy pregnancy gained the minimum required... Thu, 28 Mar 2013 16:10:04 EST The Scale....... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5301009 My woes with the scale are nothing new and, unfortunately, this week was nothing new. No, I didn't lose, yes I gained. <em>46</em> I have spent my fair amount of time being pissed at the scale and it is easy to say that the number doesn't matter, but it just gets so frustrating to not see any change. I get so irritated and frustrated seeing the numbers on the scale. It is almost to the humorous point -- laughable -- that the amount of time, energy and effort I put into eating well and... Tue, 26 Mar 2013 16:08:26 EST What to do when I do everything right and still NOTHING? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5293962 Sulk. Pout. Cry. Whine. Complain. <BR> <BR> Needless to say, my weigh in on the scale this last Friday didn't go so hot. I was pretty upset, deflated, defeated, irritated. All those adjectives that provide the insight and knowledge that I was angry and sad. I ate good. I worked out good. I drank my water. I ate my freggies. I ate CLEAN. <BR> <BR> As always, I weigh first thing in the morning after I get up and before I eat or drink anything. In pretty much nothing except my un... Wed, 20 Mar 2013 16:52:20 EST MARCHING Toward My Goals - Week 1 Recap http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5278416 <em>137</em> <em>137</em> MARCHING Toward my Goal Challenge <em>137</em> <em>137</em> <BR> <BR> <em>192</em> Beginning weight: 158 <BR> Goal for the month: 154 <BR> Week 1: 154.8 WOW! I didn't see that coming at all! Lost lots of water weight from Aunt Flo plus some. This is like way cool for me because I have not seen ANYTHING below 155 since having baby! HELLLLLLLLLLLO Clean eating! <em>236</em> I am thinking I may adjust my goal and say 152........? <BR> <BR> Goa... Fri, 8 Mar 2013 06:54:20 EST What I Want/Don't Want http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5275484 So today I figured I would throw a twist in the workouts and jumped on the elliptical for an endurance run, strapped on my music and got lost in Pandora for almost an hour. Steady state cardio is a thorn in my workout side. It has never been my favorite thing to do, in fact, I tend to resist it with all my might. I know it is something I need to do, however... <BR> <BR> So there I was, jamming along both on the elliptical and to my music <em>335</em> and something happened... time flew... Wed, 6 Mar 2013 07:58:24 EST Weekend Report Card http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5272948 Baby's down for his nap, I finished HIIT 15 <em>224</em> and am settling up with a hot cup o coffee <em>106</em> while watching it snow outside so I thought I would do a quick blog update on how things went for the weekend. <BR> <BR> Overall, I think my weekend went good food/fitness wise. I tracked daily <em>244</em> but didn't cycle <em>40</em> I am going to hit the calorie cycling hard this week. I got some fish oil supplements and have been taking them religiously every... Mon, 4 Mar 2013 15:27:09 EST Kick off for my March Goal, weigh in. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5268170 Today kicks off my MARCHing toward my goal challenge. <BR> <BR> I weighted in. Up.4, thanks Aunt Flo so my beginning weight was 158 <em>39</em> Its all good. I will just feel that much better seeing 154 on the scale instead. I think 4 pounds is a reasonable goal so I am going to stick with that. <BR> <BR> Workout done. Protein shake choked down. Coffee in hand. Fish oil purchased and will take those starting today. I have an appointment to get my hair cut today. <BR> <BR> Dave i... Fri, 1 Mar 2013 08:16:37 EST MARCHing along toward my goals http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5266222 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/1/l2142247807.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I've officially designated March as the time I am going to be pressing forward into obtaining my goals. So therefore I have cleverly titled my challenge for the month MARCHing toward my goal. Clever, I know <em>20</em> <BR> <BR> I spent a bit of time this morning on the phone with a friend of mine who is a personal trainer and is in STELLAR shape... and about 7 1/2 months pregnant, lol! She's getting her f... Wed, 27 Feb 2013 16:17:54 EST So, is it true that history simply repeats itself? Hmmmmmm......time can only tell. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5264981 So, I've spent a bit of time soul searching, so to speak, trying to figure out what in the HECK is going on?!!! <BR> <BR> Funny thing about Spark is that it saves all blogs -- even the ones from waaaaaay back. So here I have sat over the last hour and I have been reading some of my first blogs that I started doing when I got enough courage to "put myself out there". I joined SP in Jan of '07 which was when my (then baby) was a year old. I remember when I joined, I was struggling through... Tue, 26 Feb 2013 16:37:32 EST Weigh in, measurements, frustration, feeling better and more random randomness http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5263613 So tomorrow is my birthday. I am going to be 37... three years away from 40... <BR> <BR> <em>40</em> <em>2</em> <em>39</em> <em>46</em> <BR> <BR> Ok so its not that bad.... reallllllllly.... <BR> <BR> But it is quite eye opening to see that in three years I will be crossing another decade down. There is something pivotal about the year 40. To some, it is the year of the midlife crisis. God, I don't want to be THERE. Rather, I want to be celebrating life. Thrilled to be ... Mon, 25 Feb 2013 15:49:38 EST Because I just gotta.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5251844 I *refuse* to be one of these people who try, try, try, fail and give up. That is just not who I am. I have a very intense stubborn streak. Thus the reason that an 18 month plateau has not knocked me down. Okay, okay, okay, I will use the term 'plateau' loosely because I have been off and on the 'tracking' wagon and the intuitive eating wagon. I came to the realization recently that have used intuitive eating as a way to hide from doing what I know needs to be done to get the results I w... Fri, 15 Feb 2013 16:51:34 EST Momentum, more goals and a reward for myself http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5240511 I feel good. Great in fact! I have been working hard at tracking (which you all know how much I HATE!) but as it turns out, it hasn't been as tedious as I remember it being. Spark has changed the nutrition tracker around quite a bit from the last time I used it which obviously has been a looooooooooong time. It is more intuitive and easy to identify the foods I want to add. <BR> <BR> I have been good about sticking within my calorie range and have decided to go for a calorie cycling pl... Wed, 6 Feb 2013 16:49:50 EST Solidifying my goals http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5235428 First off, I have to say a big, huge THANK YOU to everyone who gave me such amazing support in my last (very difficult to write) blog. Yet another reason I continue to use the support here! I luv you all! <em>26</em> <BR> <BR> I've spent a bit of time going over my goals with regards to where I want to be and I am going to dream big and shoot for 135 which is 10 pounds below where I was before. Although I would be happy with 145, int he interest of working for what I REALLy want, I am... Sun, 3 Feb 2013 09:09:26 EST The Reality of this all http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5233902 I have tried writing and rewriting this blog several times and I can't seem to make it work and say what I want to say, what I REALLY want to say, need to say. So instead of getting cute with words, I am going to come right out and say it. <BR> <BR> I suck. I am a fake. I am a phony. I say one thing when I am really feeling another. <BR> <BR> Okay, to be fair with myself, I didn't just decide this overnight. I have taken a much needed deliberate step away from Spark. I have considered... Fri, 1 Feb 2013 23:34:42 EST When I Stop and Think... Uh, Probably Best Not To.... Logic versus Emotion http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5211822 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/5/l1566645530.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I actually laughed out loud, the belly kind of laugh, when I saw this picture. I don't think anything sums me up quite as well as this picture does. Too funny. <BR> <BR> I think back and how true is this for me? <BR> <BR> I've gone back and forth, up and down and all around just trying to find what works for me. Counting calories? Counting carbs? Calorie cycling? Turbo Fire? Inferno Plan? Shakeology? Cle... Thu, 17 Jan 2013 16:30:49 EST