1STATEOFDENIAL's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=1STATEOFDENIAL 1STATEOFDENIAL's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ No, I am not okay. I need to admit it and be okay with not being okay. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5960449 My life is worse than a Dickens novel. It doesn't make sense, it is impossibly difficult, and for the most part I face it all alone. (The friends I have are mostly far away and no one is able to help with what I need the most help with. I don't blame them because they have their own challenges.) I am dealing with such a ridiculous mess of crap that I can't even remember half of what I'm trying to deal with until I'm faced with it again. I'm never more than seconds ahead of my absolute limit o... Tue, 14 Jul 2015 01:10:57 EST Excellent article about Hypermobility Ehlers Danlos and functional somatic syndromes http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5945892 <link>www.thepainrelieffoundation.com/cond<BR>itions/eds-functional-somatic/ </link> <BR> <BR> Please, please, please take a few minutes to read this article. This is extremely well written, has good explanations (if you don't understand every word, you can still get the gist of it), and says what so many of us zebras have tried to tell our doctors over and over again but are continuously ignored or yelled at for. (I need to print this out and take it with me any time I'm near a doctor, n... Tue, 16 Jun 2015 04:29:50 EST Finding $16 makes me feel bad. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5942688 Yesterday I found $16 in a parking lot. I had been in my car for about 5-10 minutes and no one was around. Also, it was after some of the stores were already closed. I was pulling out and decided to turn one way instead of another (because of a bad park job partially blocking the way) and noticed a wad of green paper. I pulled the car up to it and grabbed it. Since the lot is for a strip mall, I can't go into the store to ask if someone had been asking about lost money; it would take awhile t... Wed, 10 Jun 2015 01:40:31 EST American Ninja Warrior showcases an EDS Zebra Warrior http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5938832 The ANW episode from 6/1 showcased a man who is married to a woman who has Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. It's amazing to have such an ignored and potentially dangerous condition be featured on a show that highlights the power and perseverance of people who train to perform seemingly incredible feats. <BR> <BR> I have EDS (I have a long blog about this on my page), though my type isn't as bad as hers; however, my symptoms are serious and getting worse. Since the airing she said she's been berated b... Wed, 3 Jun 2015 02:34:25 EST Dear Santa (this won't be the letter you're expecting) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5837116 Little children are always told to be good so they get gifts from Santa at Christmas. They're told if they don't behave, they will get a lump of coal instead. This rule isn't really true, we know, because there are good kids who get nothing and bad kids who get way more than they will appreciate. As adults, we don't have Santa watching us and instead are as good and as bad as we please. We also know that there is no such thing as all good or all bad and that what we get is based on the people... Tue, 23 Dec 2014 04:16:49 EST Plagiarism is hurtful, disrespectful, and just plain wrong! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5686236 No, this has nothing to do with SP, but I'm angry and hurt that I've been plagiarized elsewhere. I want to say something about it here because maybe someone who's plagiarized in the past or might consider it in the future (even on a small scale) will read this and realize how hurtful and disrespectful it is, and choose to correct the wrong or never do it. <BR> <BR> I wrote this review on Amazon back in January. Read it two or three times so it sort of sticks in your head. <BR> <link>www.am... Sat, 3 May 2014 06:45:14 EST Got my SSDI backpay! But my housing situation is a nightmare. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5620963 Well, a little more good news. Tip: if you sign up for EFT (direct deposit) right away when applying for SSDI, your payment will come pretty quickly. I called the SSDI office today to ask some questions, and it turns out that they deposited my back pay on the 6th! I didn't even think to be watching my bank account. So I got my year and a half of back pay (they don't pay you for the first 6 months, for those who don't know) and I found out my monthly checks will start next month and it's sever... Tue, 11 Feb 2014 02:23:25 EST Surprise, surprise: my SSDI decision is in. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5614624 I'm exhausted after spending the day doing... just doing. It's 3 am and I still have to shower before going to sleep and getting to an appointment at 2 pm to work on my advance directive again. But... <BR> <BR> I got a letter from SSDI today. The judge gave me a fully favorable decision (the judge agrees I'm fully disabled) going back to the day I stopped working, Jan 11, 2012. I'm absolutely shocked I didn't have to go through another hearing and 6 more months of waiting. But since they ign... Tue, 4 Feb 2014 04:07:02 EST Talked to my neurologist today http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5587652 Called my neurologist's office today. I wanted to mention the concussion while I asked if I can keep increasing the gabapentin now that the side effects have stabilized at 200mg 3x/day. Strangely, he and his nurse are the first people to care at all when I mention 'concussion symptoms'. Every other time I've had my head hit into something and had these symptoms no one believed me or cared. I've learned to just live with these types of symptoms for a few days/weeks until they go away or just f... Thu, 9 Jan 2014 04:33:00 EST Concussion & nonstop problems causing too much stress http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5586485 A week ago, on New Year's Eve, I got a concussion and it's really made everything else so much more difficult. With my conditions, as my dysautonomia specialist said, no matter how much they try to treat me, I will always be prone to fainting, losing consciousness, falling, etc. I avoid the triggers as much as I can, but sometimes I forget or it just happens before I realize it. On NYE, I stood up and stretched, forgetting that's a major trigger. My body collapsed and when I fell backwards, i... Wed, 8 Jan 2014 06:28:26 EST I got really bad news about my sister http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5567721 I spoke with my sister today and found out she's been having some serious symptoms for the past year and kept being turned away by doctors. (She lives in the small town in WI we grew up in, where the medical staff is decades behind in knowledge and light years behind in listening to patients.) My sister isn't able to be assertive with doctors like I've learned to be. She finally found a doctor to listen to her, and in testing they found not only dysautonomia and a growth on her liver, but a 1... Thu, 19 Dec 2013 04:27:43 EST Results of testing I mentioned in my last blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5558098 I have an important decision I need to make, and it's weighing heavily on me. A few weeks ago I had testing done on my bladder. It was painful and sucked horribly. Yesterday I found out the results, and they're not good. The doctor believes the nerves to my bladder (and probably other organs as well) are not working properly. She doesn't really believe that EDS is anything more than a benign joint condition, so that means her opinion on the cause/effect of EDS on the problems with my organs (... Fri, 6 Dec 2013 04:26:53 EST Update: too much bad, some good, and tons of unknowns http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5541605 I've had more hits since my last blog. Some "good" came from today, though it isn't good news, just validation of the serious symptoms that too many are denying I could be dealing with. I'll start with what's happened the past few weeks. <BR> <BR> I had my hearing tested. My hearing is ridiculously incredible. The doctor told me that the normal threshold for people to hear any frequency is 30 db. Even my worst result (the highest frequencies) was at 25 db and some of them I could hear at alm... Fri, 15 Nov 2013 04:39:02 EST It's all just too much for me. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5523555 The hits never stop. Today I was told my appt for next month with a neck/spine/SI joint specialist is being cancelled because he looked at my record and has nothing to offer me except "do PT" or "go to Mayo". Mayo is CRAP! The only people the Mayo helps are those who are rich or powerful. Absolutely anyone can claim they have a "comprehensive approach" and are "#1" at treating anything because it's a sujective statement so they can get away with a complete lie! Going there for a complex condi... Fri, 25 Oct 2013 23:43:07 EST SSDI hearing was a total waste of time. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5520399 The best way to NOT give someone SSDI is to pick a doctor to speak against the claimant at the hearing who can't even pronounce the conditions, let alone know how they're diagnosed. That way they can say they don't believe you have the conditions and are fully able to work. Then, to really stick it home, have the judge say that since my reports of conditions are unfounded, that they must request that my primary doctor (who is about to go on maternity leave) needs to write up an explanation ab... Tue, 22 Oct 2013 13:24:47 EST Vascular specialist today & SSDI hearing tomorrow http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5519962 Tomorrow morning is my SSDI hearing. I have no idea how I'm going to make it through the hearing. I'm not even sure if I'll find out a yes/no tomorrow or if I have to wait for the official judgement. My hearing starts at 9:30, but have to be there early to meet with my lawyer, have to drive there (in rush hour), and getting up early enough to be ready for when my social worker comes to pick me up - so I have to wake up about 6-6:30 am to be ready. Too often I don't fall asleep until 5 am, so ... Tue, 22 Oct 2013 02:15:01 EST Having an unprofessional doctor is not good. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5515709 I have 5 appointments with the orthopedist this month. One was last week and I had another today. The doctor I'm supposed to be seeing isn't even coming into the room (the first appointment with "her" weeks ago she came in for 10 minutes and haven't seen her since) her fellow is the only one seeing me. It seems like a cop out. They told me they'll only see 1 joint per appointment, so last week was for hips (and SI joint), today was for back, then I planned on wrists, knees, and shoulders - b... Thu, 17 Oct 2013 02:13:31 EST I'm totally shattered and broken http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5502067 WARNING: Don't read unless you have a strong heart. My pain has been poured out into a mess below. <BR> <BR> I've reached the end of my rope. I've hit the limit of things I can deal with. My ARMHS worker was on her way and my lawyer emailed me asking me to write down all of my symptoms for most of my conditions. When I said that's just too much for me, he said he really needs it so I need to do it. Why does everyone who is supposed to help me get to DEMAND that I do things I CAN'T do before ... Wed, 2 Oct 2013 03:25:54 EST Then there's that moment you realize it can get worse. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5493425 Today's actually worse than yesterday, but in a different way. I feel like I'm coming down with the flu all of a sudden. I don't ever get colds or the flu; I don't even crack a fever for more than an hour for anything (my immune system is really screwed up: I have increasing allergies but it doesn't fight back against real problems like a cold). So this has me worried. I'm hoping my symptoms are just going haywire from the stress, but this is insane. <BR> <BR> The symptoms have been getting ... Mon, 23 Sep 2013 05:01:15 EST To say I've had a hurtful day is an understatement. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5492471 I've just gotten slammed with a bunch of bad today. <BR> <BR> Over a month ago I fired my LTD lawyer. She was spending far more time telling me there was nothing she could do than fighting my case. She had excuses for why it wasn't worthwhile to hold the Hartford accountable for their illegal actions (breaking their own contract and breaking the law), for why they can't/won't put more effort into my case, and why it wasn't worth me getting upset that they weren't pushing harder for my rights... Sun, 22 Sep 2013 05:39:14 EST 5 steps to best deal with pain http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5486852 This link is on the Ehlers Danlos National Foundation website but it is not specific to EDS and could be used by anyone who lives with chronic pain and frequent bouts with acute pain. <BR> <BR> <link>www.ednf.org/index.php?option=com_co<BR>ntent&task=view&id=2319 </link> <BR> <BR> I have pain. I have a lot of pain. Ehlers Danlos brings about incredible amounts of pain as well as a genetic disposition to having most painkillers and anesthetics be mostly ineffective. This means no amount o... Mon, 16 Sep 2013 05:26:01 EST The fun of trying to do chores with Ehlers Danlos http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5452400 The person who was coming to help me is apparently not coming anymore. So tonight I did some chores. It's been 6 weeks and things really needed to get done. Also, I'm seeing the new neurologist for the 2nd time tomorrow (the one I had to email to say I need my doctors to be team players and not blow me off) so everything I did today is going to DESTROY me for tomorrow - meaning he'll get to see my truths! Luckily I was able to get a ride for the appt. I'll be lucky if I can walk tomorrow! <BR... Mon, 12 Aug 2013 04:03:57 EST How to be a contortionist... I am a zebra. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5444844 (Yes, my blog title is to get your attention; but, if you stick with me for a moment you might understand why I wanted to grab your attention like this.) <BR> <BR> Have you ever seen a contortionist? They bend and move in 'freaky weird' ways that look inhuman, while still being graceful and artistic and interesting. They grab your attention as they show how different they are from most people. Do you know why contortionists often perform as a family? Because the way to be a true contortionis... Mon, 5 Aug 2013 06:26:37 EST Sometimes, no matter how horrible I feel I have to put my kitty first. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5421371 I often wonder if things will ever get easier on me (it'll never be easy, but any easier would be helpful). Today was a harder day, for sure. <BR> <BR> I sent an email to the new neurologist because I really feel he didn't do a good job when I saw him on the 1st. He also dismissed several of the things I was saying, did a crappy physical exam, and didn't seem to put effort into understanding how widespread the symptoms of EDS are. I basically said if he is unwilling or unable to put in the t... Mon, 15 Jul 2013 04:01:33 EST This week has been hard on me. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5411044 Today is my 1,000th day on SP. Every day for the last 1,000 days I've logged in and participated in a variety of actions. Even when I was in a different state for doctor appointments, tests, and procedures or in the hospital, I signed on every day and did something. It was more important to me to sign on and spend some time here than to excuse myself for some reason. <BR> <BR> I wanna say woohoo for me, but I can't. I feel completely defeated right now. LTD denied me, yet again. They complet... Thu, 4 Jul 2013 23:08:54 EST Have you ever done bicycle touring? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5405887 I sure haven't and never will due to my disabilities (and it doesn't interest me). But a few of my family members have done several bike tours around the US. If you'd like to read up on their adventures, check out their website: <link>benthub.com/ </link> <BR> <BR> They're a week into a trip from Wisconsin to Maine, or as far as they can get before some of them have to be back for work. I know one of them has to return home after 1 more week, and I think the rest are staying out for 2 wee... Sat, 29 Jun 2013 23:01:12 EST Another up and down day - new GI appt & a scary incident! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5403130 What an up and down day, again! I met with a new gastroenterologist today, who was pretty good. He listened to me, paid attention, trusted what I said, and we came up with a plan. I'm going to have another endoscopy for a biopsy to see if the eosinophilic esophagitis is back, and if it is then I'll get a liquid steroid to swallow, instead of the steroid inhaler I used in the past, to treat it. He also told me I can increase my miralax intake as I need to, but considering the high cost he's gi... Thu, 27 Jun 2013 04:47:49 EST OMG what a roller coaster day! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5395432 First, I wake up with an email from my LTD lawyer who is saying the Hartford is being jerks again and breaking contract rules and laws yet again, but after 6 months they're STILL working on part of my claim. <BR> <BR> Then, I go to the orthopedic appointment in which I get knee braces (that are causing a lot of pain actually ugh) and am told to get orthotics to help with my arches, my ankles aren't 'that bad', and there's nothing that can be done for my hips, back, neck, or shoulders. He als... Wed, 19 Jun 2013 17:00:26 EST An update, plus a difficult day with a scary incident http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5387584 I started typing about my day in a message thread in a team, but realized it was getting very long. I should probably also use this time to update people with what I'm currently dealing with. So I'll update then talk about the insane and scary day I had today. (If this blog is too long for you, sorry. I wish I wasn't dealing with so much, but I am so I'm updating on what's relevant to me right now.) <BR> <BR> For those who don't remember, I have numerous medical conditions that are progressi... Thu, 13 Jun 2013 01:53:43 EST Come to my Sparkpeople birthday party! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5379784 Today (Weds, June 5th) was my 32nd birthday. Last year, I threw a pool party here on SP to celebrate, and I want to do something similar this year. I'm posting this late in the day, but the beauty of an SP party is there's no start or end time, so everyone can participate whenever and however they want! <BR> <BR> This year I'm having a big photo shoot for everyone! I gave myself a photo shoot goodie to set up the party. Joining in the fun is easy - give YOURSELF a goodie that you want to bri... Thu, 6 Jun 2013 00:06:40 EST This is what it's like to be in my shoes. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5365231 Here's a taste of what it's like to be me, for anyone who is interested in the symptoms of my multiple medical conditions. <BR> <BR> Last night I got involved in a discussion on twitter while doing other things online, and I ignored my body yelling at me to eat. The discussion had me crying (complete strangers were showing me support) so I had no interest in food. This was a mistake. My body processed what I had eaten earlier more quickly than I realized, causing my blood sugar to plummet. U... Thu, 23 May 2013 01:43:22 EST Turns out my new approach is right on the money. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5358816 Recently I started participating in an Ehlers Danlos page on Facebook, as well as the Ehlers Danlos National Foundation. The information I'm gathering from these pages is INCREDIBLE and amazingly validating. So much of what they're posting about the condition explains my symptoms, and contradicts my doctors who know little or nothing about the condition (and I'm starting to suspect have no interest in learning about the condition either). <BR> <BR> A few hours ago they posted a portion of a ... Fri, 17 May 2013 03:18:13 EST I need to try a new approach. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5356980 Before I get to my blog, I want to say I'm very thankful for the comments on my last blog. I was honestly worried that I would get a lot of hate and backlash for posting about my joy, but I was pleasantly surprised at all the positive comments. Anyone who doesn't agree with me, I hope you find peace with your opinions as I have found peace with mine. <BR> <BR> Now on to my blog... <BR> <BR> Talking with my ARMHS worker today helped me come to a realization that I've had inklings of for the ... Wed, 15 May 2013 03:40:08 EST Live and let love. I am proud to be a Minnesotan today. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5355616 This blog is going to be a bit controversial. I am not posting it to start an argument or to put down anyone else. My beliefs are my own and you are welcome to yours; I just hope that we can agree to disagree and have respect for each other. That being said, I am posting this blog from a state of love, respect, and appreciation. Any responses that are disrespectful or demeaning will be deleted. Responses that are opposite of my views but are respectful are okay. <BR> <BR> Now that I've gotte... Mon, 13 May 2013 20:59:51 EST Sparkers living near Minneapolis/St Paul & western Wisconsin http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5352366 For my fellow Twin Cities metro and western Wisconsin Sparkers, I'm going to share with you some inside information. I'm not someone who normally does 'ads' for services to convince people to use them. But I am this time because I have great appreciation for this guy. He has no idea I'm doing this, and he deserves the recognition. <BR> <BR> Anyone in the area who needs a plumber, consider calling St Croix Plumbing & Drain Cleaning. Todd Jadwin is the owner and he is a wonderful guy who reall... Fri, 10 May 2013 16:42:25 EST An eloquent explaination of what it's like to have digestive tract paralysis http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5332498 I've had an idea for a blog rattling around in my head for weeks now, but I haven't been able to thoroughly put into words what I want to say. The topic seems simple, but the response is not. While I continue to work through it, I wanted to share something very important to me, but something many people have absolutely no understanding of. <BR> <BR> If you know a little something about me, you know I have multiple severe medical conditions. It sucks. That sums it up, right? It totally sucks.... Tue, 23 Apr 2013 04:31:25 EST The Vampire Diaries tour blog (finally) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5306979 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/5/9/l59385953.jpg"> <BR> If you understand the significance of that sign, you'll enjoy this blog. Of course, this is the sign from the Mystic Grill in Mystic Falls, VA... aka this is the fake front for the soon to be real Mystic Grill in Covington, GA, where Vampire Diaries is filmed. <BR> <BR> My last blog talked about the trip to Covington with SherryGayl in mid March, and now here are the pictures about the tour itself. Of course, shortly aft... Mon, 1 Apr 2013 04:20:48 EST My trip to GA - very long! (Excluding Vampire Diaries tour) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5298973 I know people have been waiting for this blog, but I've not only been trying to recover from the trip, I've also had to deal with a lot of junk this week. My LTD should have been decided a week ago, but due to their incompetence and blatant disrespect of laws, they never sent the letter requesting an extension to make a decision to my lawyer's office, so while I was in GA they told my lawyer's office they needed information from me on the day they said it was due to them. Morons. My lawyer ma... Mon, 25 Mar 2013 02:56:52 EST My trip to GA next week, March 11th - 16th http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5276525 I've mentioned a few times how much I've wanted to take a trip to GA as something positive I really want to happen. I've waivered on it a few times, debating over whether I should or shouldn't go, but with all the negatives happening and about to crash in on my life in the next few months, I decided I needed to do it. It'll be a last real positive before a bunch of horrible negatives happen. Well, I've been planning it like crazy, but now everything is booked and I'll be in GA NEXT WEEK! <BR>... Wed, 6 Mar 2013 21:02:42 EST My life could be a soap opera - but no one would believe it could happen. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5241031 For those who have an idea of what I've been battling, and how incredibly difficult my life has been lately, what do you think could happen next? How about this: <BR> <BR> My neurologist is giving up trying to stop the status migranosis. She refuses to do the standard treatment that has been used for decades because she doesn't believe in it. The treatments she has tried (4) have all failed or made the headaches or another one of my conditions worse. She has also failed to find why I keep lo... Thu, 7 Feb 2013 01:26:49 EST When Telling Someone They Look Great Becomes an Insult http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5212435 Take just a moment to read this short blog/article. Really consider the implications of what the author says. <BR> <BR> <link>voices.yahoo.com/when-telling-someon<BR>e-they-look-great-becomes-insult-11971<BR>343.html?cat=70 </link> <BR> <BR> I've been using the same imagery of linking the flu to what it feels like to have Gastroparesis, for nearly 2 years. It knocks people off their feet for a moment while the consider the implications. When you have the flu do you feel like doing norma... Fri, 18 Jan 2013 03:49:22 EST Anorexic models banned overseas in 2013 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5188307 <link>www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-225<BR>6025/Underweight-models-BANNED-Israel-<BR>fight-anorexia-New-law-forces-women-ad<BR>s-stay-healthy-faked-images-identified-too.html </link> <BR> <BR> I think this is incredible and awesome. As someone with a partially paralyzed digestive system, I spent part of 2012 underweight due to an inability to digest food and was put on IV nutrition to be able to gain back some of the weight I lost. When I was underweight I felt absolutely horrible; whi... Thu, 3 Jan 2013 13:58:37 EST In 2013 no more... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5177152 Right now there's a trending topic on twitter: #In2013NoMore <BR> Some of the responses are jokes (#In2013NoMore 2012). Others are totally not unique or thoughtful (#In2013NoMore BS/laziness/excuses/dealing with XXX/end of the world predictions). Most of these are really stupid and have no meaning beyond reading the last word. Still, it got me thinking. What do I want to put a stop to in 2013 that I can make happen? <BR> <BR> #In2013NoMore letting others' negativity, hate, and insecurities d... Wed, 26 Dec 2012 22:27:06 EST It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5172581 I know it's been thrown around that today, 12/21/12 is the end of the world. It's doubtful. At most, I believe it's the start of an incredible change. What the change is, how it starts, and the exact moment it starts probably won't be known until the change has affected us and we look back to find where it started. But that doesn't mean you can't make today the day that you decide to change your life and the lives of those around you. Think about this: <BR> <BR> What do you wish for? What ch... Fri, 21 Dec 2012 04:57:46 EST MinneSNOWta - I can't handle cold and can't be in the snow. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5161706 I used to love living in MN and didn't totally hate the snow. I've disliked it more and more as I've gotten sicker and less mobile. I already have a hard time walking and am a fall risk, so adding in snow and ice makes it really bad for me. I walk with a walker, but it's still not safe. Plus the cold makes the metal of the old walker (it's a hand-me-down from my grandma) hurt my hands, even through gloves (thanks chilblains!). <BR> <BR> Well, today was the first big snow event in the Twin Ci... Mon, 10 Dec 2012 02:15:09 EST Attention Target Pharmacy customers... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5155290 Warning: if providing you service takes more than the simplest tasks, Target will no longer be serving you. No thanks for your patronage! <BR> <BR> As you can tell, I'm seriously ticked off. Target pharmacy has decided that providing me with medication is too difficult. I have COBRA insurance and medical assistance (MA - state health care) as a secondary insurance, until my COBRA runs out then state health care is all I'll have. Well, my COBRA doesn't cover any PPI (acid reflux medication). ... Mon, 3 Dec 2012 22:04:48 EST Request for donated pictures, take 2 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5147895 Here's the original blog I posted: <link>www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo<BR>urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=5120718 </link> <BR> <BR> If anyone is willing to help, please send me a sparkmail and we'll talk about it. I've gotten a lot of pictures from one great person (Sherry!) and a few others have sent a few. I'm looking for some more so I have a range of pictures to choose from, as the must be clear and high quality so they look good when printed. I'll also need to choose which will ... Tue, 27 Nov 2012 03:04:51 EST Sparkfriends, help me create a pseudonym! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5133531 Tonight was the first of 2 classes about how to find a literary agent. After the class I talked to the teacher (an agent, unfortunately not for my preferred genre) about my want to have a pseudonym to be published. After talking with her, it seems it's a good idea to come up with a name now and start posting online with that name to start establishing it. Unfortunately, I'm not really sure about a name to use. I'm hoping my sparkfriends will help, as several of you know me pretty well. <BR> ... Tue, 13 Nov 2012 03:45:22 EST My speech at the Wings of Mercy MN fundraiser http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5126686 This is the speech I gave at the Wings of Mercy MN fundraiser on 9/8/12. This non-profit flies me from St Paul to Milwaukee for doctors appointments at no cost to me. I was honored to speak and share how much they help me. I'm sharing this video for my SparkFriends who wanted to see, and with the hope that someone else might be helped (www.wingsofmercymn.org), or that those who have the ability to give will support WoM's wonderful work. <BR> <BR> It's been 2 months since I gave this speech, ... Tue, 6 Nov 2012 22:00:36 EST I just need to complain for a moment... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5122095 I haven't paid my mortgage since Sept 1st (for August). I'm unable to work, I have lawyers working on appealing social security disability and long term disability, but the last income I had was short term disability that ended in April. My 401(k)s are gone and I'm almost completely out of savings. I'm in a world of hurt and scared. And that's even without taking into account my ridiculous mess of medical conditions that even has my numerous specialists confused and unsure how to proceed. Thi... Sat, 3 Nov 2012 00:54:05 EST