Thursday, February 07, 2008
Well, this is week 21 with the Bells Palsy and I am feeling very down. The neurologist sent me for a consult with the ENT. He is ordering an EMG to figure out how much facial nerve and muscle damage has been done. He noted that this may be permanent which of course immediately sent me way down in the dumps. No matter how hard I try to get back up this week, I can't seem to do it. I can't imagine being stuck like this forever! I know, it is just a superficial thing, but none the less, I can't imagine it. 4 days ago, the right side of my face swelled and has not subsided. I guess the worst thing in eating and drinking - especially in front of anyone. It is just not a pretty site. Beverages dribble down my chin and I end up wearing most of it. j I use a straw, but since the swelling - I can't seem to close my mouth around it all the way. Eating is a site as well. I tend to bite my lip a lot if I don't move it out of the way when I go to eat. I can't chew with my mouth closed - since it doesn't close all the way. I know that attitude is everything and that it truly will go away some day but after 20 weeks it is very discouraging. I have prayed but I am not sure that God is listening these days. I am no longer sure what to do to get back to the optimistic self that I usually am. I guess I will take one day at a time and get on the treadmill more to burn of some frustration.