Monday, February 04, 2008
Hi. I was perusing through the message boards, looking for advice on what to do with myself, and I found-probably not by accident, an article on self-sabotage and "dieting"-or in my case, trying to lead a healthy lifestyle. I will add it to my favorites momentarily. Everything in the article pertains to me, I was doing good, then I slip, it's a constant. But something in the article really hit me-a number of years ago I had a terrible depression and went for therapy. My therapist, Susan, said I had a lot of negative thoughts that I'd convinced myself were true, like "I'll never be able to hold a job and support myself", or "I'll never have any friends", or "I'm going to be depressed forever". She said she saw nothing in me that suggested those were true, but I'd kept telling myself these horrible things over and over until I really believed them. She gave me alternatives, positive things to say to myself about myself, and to look for evidence these things were true. And there was no evidence I was a loser. My point is, I changed myself by CHANGING MY THOUGHTS ABOUT MYSELF, AND BEING CONSCIOUS OF THOSE CHANGES. I am gainfully employed, have a number of good friends, and am no longer depressed. This article sort of says to do the same thing regarding self-sabotage and weight. "Act as if" (a favorite mantra of Susan's) helped enormously, I'd do it all the time, and still do it, so I want to apply it to my weight loss. "Act as if" you were a thin person, what would they eat? They'd exercise today, etc.
I'm sorry this is long, I just wanted to get it down. And for those of you wondering about last week, I did eat sensibly that night and exercise. See I can do it, I just have to work on myself. I appreciate all your good thoughts, I'm sorry if I'm acting like a baby, I just find this so hard...oh, and I'm a whiner too.