Friday, February 01, 2008
Today I grappled with a frequent demon of mine. Someone abruptly cancelled out on a scheduled meeting with me at work, that left me with a 3 hour stretch of time that I had to fill while trying not to turn to food out of boredom and anger. If I had gotten more advance notice about the cancellation, I would have adjusted another meeting late in the afternoon to occur earlier, then I could have gone home early myself. Being a Friday afternoon, the idea of getting home early was very inviting.
My initial reaction was anger. Not only did I really wish I could be home earlier, but I dreaded trying to cope with the time without mindlessly turning to food.
Then, when confronted with all that time to be totally alone, nothing pre-planned to do, something happened. Something changed. I realized that I could look upon the time as a gift. A time that I could sift through some things on my desk and make that space a little more comfortable for myself. Sort and file a few things that had just been sitting there for ages.
In addition to that, I realized that I could just calm down, relax a little while waiting for that last meeting to occur. And the time just sped by. I was amazed at the difference.
I know that if I had continued with my usual way of regarding unstructured time as dangerous (in terms of eating) I might actually have stayed on track to do something to insure that I'd suffer as a result. A simple shift in perspective made all the difference. I realize that like different facets of a jewel, we also have the ability to turn things around to see many sides of an issue.