Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Funny, I totally forgot about finishing that last entry. At any rate, I'm struggling with my diet. I keep craving sweets and junk food and am depressed that I really shouldn't eat it. I need to find a healthy substitute (or at least a low cal one) that will still satisfy my cravings. Also, My emotions have taken their toll lately. I'm depressed about my weight and feel very fat and gross. I think it has something to do with seeing all the perfect bodies at the gym. It makes me wonder why I can't do that. I also don't seem to be losing any weight whatsoever. My bf insists that I'm gaining muscle mass and that I'm losing width. He even says my arms are lanky but I know that he prefers curvy women. I need to start measuring inches not just pounds. Somewhere I've got to find the motivation to keep going.
Weekends are also a major, major problem for me. I usually spend it with family and they feed me very large, very fat filled calories. I have no idea how much and I don't know how to track the calories. All I know is that I'm for sure going over 2000Cal on the weekend and spoiling all the good progress during hte week. I guess it's better than eating that all week long but it's still not great. I need to learn portion control, how to just take a little bit of everything so it doesn't kill my calorie count.
Seems I need to do a lot of things *sigh*