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    BSHIVLER   18,541
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A little depressed...

Thursday, January 10, 2008

I know I should be joyful for the little life growing inside me. I know I should be thankful to God for my changing body... but I'm really struggling with negative thoughts about how I look and feel.

I look at pictures of the pregnant belly and the women couldn't be more beautiful and radiant... why don't I look or feel that way? I feel fat, ugly, and like all my hard work is going down the drain.

It seems like my whole body is changing. The muscle I once had it turning to fat and cellulite and everything is expanding. I am barely squeezing into my biggest pair of size 6 pants, and I'm miserable! My friends told me to just wait until the 2nd trimester... you'll feel better they said, you'll feel beautiful. Maybe it's too soon, but there has been no change and my weight seems to go up every day as I continue to look like a fat HOG! It seems so selfish for me to be worrying about how I look when I'm carrying my own child, but I can't seem to wipe the feelings away.

I'm hoping to find some maternity clothes this weekend so maybe wearing clothes that fit my changing body will help me... I can only try.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TERRAHNE 1/28/2008 6:32PM

    The reasons why the other mothers may not look like they are unhappy about there weight is probably because they haven't worked as hard as you have to lose, they may have had to work to get previous baby weight off....but not their own weight that they put on. You should know that you by no means appear to be "fat"! I think that pregnant women are the cutest thing ever! And because you have the tools and knowledge to get yourself back in shape after the baby.....you will be fine, and you will also be able to raise a healthy baby!

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SPARKLELIKE 1/27/2008 11:17PM

    I went from118lbs during pregnancy to 218lbs. You are doing just fine.

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LUVBNMOMMA 1/18/2008 10:01PM

    Oh, one more thing, I know that it is an extreme case, but google Paula Radcliffe. Yup, she is the one that took all the crap for running throughout her pregnancy, starting again 12 days after she gave birth and WINNING the New York marathon (I think 6 months) later that year. Talk about motivational and the ROAR of the mighty woman!!

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LUVBNMOMMA 1/18/2008 9:55PM

    Relax. I hate it when people tell me that, but it's true in this case. What your body is doing is a complete miracle. You can't change that it will change you, your body and your perception. I just hope you will be blessed (like I was-both times) to hold your baby in your arms and say, WOW, I am incredible, our bodies are amazing and I am so happy!

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DDUNKIES 1/15/2008 5:59PM

    Bree,

i feel for you girl- NONE of my regular clothes fit me once i got pregnant (both times). i think you should blame the way you feel on hormones- its totally normal for you to feel the way you do- BTW, i am in the best shape of my life- don't worry- you can get your muscular, toned body back. love ya donna

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KRISTI07 1/13/2008 7:36AM

    BREE
I am sorry you are feeling so badly about your body. I cna totally understand how you must feel, b/c in a way I am sure I will feel the same way when I get pregnant. I imagine that like someone else said, you are probably fearing most that you will lose your shape after you are pregnant, after you had worked so hard for it and put in so much time and planning. BUT, now that you're exercising again I think you'll start to feel a little better about yourself just knowing you're not getting off track. Also, there are so many stories of women who were active throughout their pregnancy that bounce back to their pre-pregnancy body within just a few months. So don't fear. You are growing a beautiful baby boy inside you, which I know you are excited about and will love SO MUCH. When you start to think negatively try to shift your focus to him, and how even though your body is not as you would want it now, it's creating a miracle inside. That is special. You have your whole life to workout and be thin, but this is a special time. Feel better girly. HUGS!

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AMTIRPAK 1/10/2008 8:19PM

    I honestly think that you are afraid of going back to the way you used to look. You worked so incredibly hard and it took so long to get where you are now. When you see the numbers on the scale go up instead of down like they have been for you - it scares you. BUT- you will not be that person unless you let yourself. I can completely understand how you are feeling- I'm not there, but I understand. It's almost like you feel like you're failing, but you're not :o) You've probably obsessed, literally, about your weight for so long that you can't let go to enjoy your pregnancy- I would be the same if I were going through your situation. This is nine months of your life- and if you take the time to eat healthy and let yourself gain the weight that you are supposed to gain during pregnancy it will come off in no time and you will have this beautiful new addition to your family- that is so worth having to lose a few pounds. Remember- you will not go back to where you were unless you let yourself :o) Eat well and eat for two!

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IVETTE_S 1/10/2008 6:19PM

    Bree, there are plenty of moms here who got their figure back and you will too. You've been so successful at losing weight in the past. There is no reason that it wouldn't happen again. You are one determined woman who is able to practice an extraordinary amount of self-control to get where you want to be. Don't concern yourself with that right now though. Your body is doing exactly what it's supposed to do. Don't expect to feel much better about the way you look until you're holding your baby (and the pounds start melting away), but know that to others you look beautiful and radiant right now.

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