Sunday, January 06, 2008

From one of today's linked articles:

"Your body is not an enemy that needs to be beaten and starved into submission....The key is balance. Too much of anything can hurt. But not enough of everything can hurt even more."

Tho I haven't been blogging lately, I have been doing a fair amount of reflection and journaling. This morning I was reflecting on my desire for personal integrity, and at first thinking that that would manifest as more consistent choices (of food, exercise, meditation, etc)-- and then realizing as I reflected more deeply that "what is consistent [with integrity] is not the behavior, but the values and intention that underlies and informs the choices...."

So I looked at some of the areas where I have difficulty, and noted down the which of my values & beliefs support the choices "for" and the choices "against" -- an example was getting up at a "reasonable" hour in the mornings (i.e. 8 instead of 11...).

The supporting values were:
- to use time wisely
- to be more present
- to be more productive

The conflicting values:
- "go with the flow"
- listen to my body - it wants to sleep
- a love of "stillness" (even when wide awake...)

The same sorts of conflicts are there in choosing what to eat, whether to exercise, whether to have that glass of wine, and so on. So how do I honor all of those parts of my "self" with their seemingly conflicting values? I DO know that Balance is the answer -- or maybe balance is more of a core value underlying the seemingly conflicting values? Hmmm - will explore that one further....

Also - a deeper part of the problem is identifying "my" desires, aversions, feelings, as a part of my integral "self" rather than as part of the conglomerate that makes up the persona -- useful and necessary for negotiating the everyday world -- but not really who "I" am.
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  • *RHEA*
    I would love to be consistantly something. For me, it's about wanting to be loved. I would like to say, "If you're looking for someone serious, responsible, and nurturing, here I am". Or "if you're looking for someone playful, spontaneous, and artistic here I am". Instead I have to say "If you're looking for someone full on contradictions and totally inconsistant who can be nurturing one moment and a selfish bithch the next, here I am".
    In a world full of singles adds and instant everything, I still need for someone to take the time to get to know me before I can feel loved. It's a busy world and my fear is that no one will take the time.
    3727 days ago
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