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    TANIST   11,375
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Just another day in paradise

Saturday, January 05, 2008

I've been working pretty had and making pretty good choices for the most part. I have actually seen 218 on the scale. I'm pretty happy about that, but with weight fluctuations I'm still seeing 220 also. I can't wait to never see 220 again!

I've been going to the gym as often as I can, trying for 4 days a week, but I'm starting to think I need more than that just for my own sanity.

I went to the dr yesterday because I have been feeling nauseous for the last 3 weeks and it's either pregancy or anxiety. We did a blood test for the pregancy so I will find out on Monday about that, if not then it's anxiety. I have a feeling it will be anxiety. I feel it right now. :(

I started thinking about all the things I have been through in the last year and I can see why I would have anxiety now. I accepted a new job and moved from Oregon to Arizona. I lost that job. I was out of work for 6 months. I met a great guy. We moved in together. I got a pretty good paying job, but I don't have a ton to do when I'm at work. We moved to another house. I got engaged. My fiance has a daughter so we have to deal with his immature selfish ex all the time. We fight a lot because of how he deals with her so I'm scared about our relationship and if the wedding will really happen. That's a lot to deal with all in one year. And trying to lose weight on top of it.

But I do have to say that the drama that I deal with because of the ex makes me more motivated to work out - or at least work out longer. Somedays I could go forever just to get my frustrations out.

I've been trying to find some ways to deal with the anxiety, but I'm not sure. I worked out today and sat in the steam room and I feel more anxious now than I did this morning. Not sure why - maybe because my fiance has to go pick up his daughter from his ex today. I hate the stress!!!!

I am determined to lose the weight though, hopefully that will help with my anxiety as well.
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