Thursday, October 18, 2007
If there isn't a DSM diagnosis code for Obsessive-Compulsive Eating Disorder, there SHOULD be--and my picture should be next to it.
I feel pretty stupid that it's taken me this many years to notice my OCD tendencies. For instance, I don't get out of bed unless the time ends in a 5 or a 0 (which is a great way to talk myself into longer snooze-times!) THAT's relatively harmless.
But I do the same thing with food. I'm full, but there are only two bites left--gotta finish off the plate. You know the slogan "You can't eat just one?" They must have been inspired by my eating habits. "The bag is ALMOST empty ..." so I gotta finish it off.
I don't even think about it--I just chow it down and feel simultaneously guilty for pigging out but satisfied that I clean out the bag/can/bottle/candy dish or whatever. I've even caught myself rationalizing it: "Now they're all gone, I won't buy any more of them" (yeah, right) or "Now that's they're all gone, I have more room in the cupboard for healthy stuff" (yeah, right).
So, my goal is to FORCE myself to leave something on the plate. Leave something in the bag. FIGHT back against the Obsessive-Compulsive tendencies that are more in control of my life than I am.
Heck, I may even get out of bed at 6:02 a.m. tomorrow. ~ Roma